Yet another help me plea!!!

[mrstim]

I know I have posted once before oh...back last year I think, and I'm reviewing all the help I received then, but I feel like I'm back in the slump again. I'm heavier than I've ever been, which obviously puts a crimp in my style, but I just feel so incredibly lost right now. From head to toe - I don't care for my clothes, shoes and hairstyle. I was raised on quantity, not quality. We went to thrift stores several times a week and I'd load up at least a couple of times on cheaply made, cheaply priced ill fitting clothes. I still tend to go that way - I may stop and pick up three things, then get home and none truly FIT me right. Last year I went through this and my journal buds can remember - I bought nearly 50 tops from Old Navy and places like so, and returned all but one - they were so cheaply made and hung terrible on my frame. I don't like things fitted because it makes me uncomfortable but then again if things are too large I'm frumpy. (I'm a 20 on the bottom, 1x on the top - big boobed 40D and carry a lot of pudge in my belly from 3 pregnancies and 2 c sections) I finally see the reasoning behind getting QUALITY, not just quantity.

As a plus size gal, can someone point me to some quality shops so that I can put myself together? I am getting really tired of shlumping around in DH's t-shirts all day, and when I go out it's been either khaki/jeans and an ill fitting top of some sort with yellowbox flip flops and my hair just knotted up on top of my head - while my kids are decked out in the latest Gymbo, Gap even boutique brands.

I'm also going to get myself some shoes and a nice purse that will last a while. Any tips to someone who's just finding herself? I'm not a trendy person by any means - just a simple, classic lined person. At least inside, lol!

[laura]

Do you work? Do you stay at home? What types of things do you generally wear? As in, how casual are you or would you like to be?

[mrstim]

I stay at home with a 3yo and a 10 month old. I normally am in DH's tees and quite frankly stay in jammies till 1 or so because nothing I have is comfy.

As for what I have to wear when I'm in public - I only wear skirts so I wore a khaki aline this morning with this:
http://assets.charmingshoppes.com/is/image/LaneBryant/1978980?$product_main$&wid=290&hei=377
and my flip flops. I think now looking back that the FF's and the jacket were two different things and should've stayed far far away.

I also have these swing jackets (one in denim) that I wear over and over because I don't have anything else atm:
http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/5/4/1/2/7/4/webimg/276682034_o.jpg


I don't wear heels - my feet can only handle flats.

I also went super crazy this summer and bought quite a few broomsticky skirts - but then couldn't find anything to wear them with that didn't show saggy boobs and my untoned stomach. Skirts like this (http://cbk.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/p6012878p275w.jpg)
in turquoise and pink, this (http://cbk.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/p6004247p275w.jpg), and this (http://cjb.imageg.net/graphics/product_images/p6134081p275w.jpg).
I don't want to be super casual - I guess in my minds eye when I think of what I *want* to be, I can see a flattering denim or even print aline skirt, maybe a cardigan - some nice ballet flats, something more than a dumpy knot of hair. I wear jean a LOT because I have two boys and envariably end up with junk all over me by the end of the day.

[laura]

To me it seems like you are doing the right things. Wearing skirts and casual jackets is a nice step above regular casual IMO, even if you wear flip flops. I just bought like 5 new pairs of flats, so I definitely hear you there. I have 2 pairs of Tory Burch flats, but I just bought these cheaper ones too: 1 (http://www.gap.com/Asset_Archive/GPWeb/Assets/Product/675/675273/quick/gp675273-00qlv01.jpg), 2 (http://www.gap.com/Asset_Archive/GPWeb/Assets/Product/687/687381/quick/gp687381-00qlv01.jpg), 3 (http://content.nordstrom.com/ImageGallery/store/product/Gigantic/5/_5731885.jpg[/URL) (but mine are a lt pink patent), plus a pair of gray flannel ballet flats from the Gap (no longer on the website for some reason) and a pair of purple "snakeskin" flats from a boutique by my house. Adding a cute pair of flats even to jeans and a nice jacket on top is also a nice casual look.

I think the challenge of building a classic wardrobe is that it takes time - at least more time than walking in to Old Navy and buying up 12 shirts for what 1 more classic item might cost you. I think it's important, also, to focus on buying classic items in the right pieces, and supplementing w/ a few trendy items each season. Like buy classic skirts and jackets, but mix in a few trendy tops or even a funky blazer every now and again. I keep my exterior pieces pretty much solid colors and I add in patterns w/ tank tops or shirts under jackets. I think it's great to have a couple of pieces that 'make a statement', but the more obvious a piece is, IMO, the less you can wear it b/c you don't want to overwear it, iykwim. It might help to search out those "new wardrobe" threads (I don't know if that's what your previous thread was) and look at everyone's list of "staples" and start there when assessing what you currently have. It's important to buy items - especially the items you are wearing under the jackets/blazers - in your correct fitted size. Buying bulky or ill fitting shirts look much worse than fitted (even slightly tighter) shirts. Obviously you don't want skin-tight, but fitted will accentuate what you have w/o adding more bulk. I don't buy any shirts that look like a rectangle on the hanger, or a square. They look terrible on me. I don't buy crewneck shirts unless they are Tshirts for working out or sleeping in (ok, or running errands in once in a blue moon!) b/c I am busty and a v-neck or scoop neck is a much better cut for me. In some ways it's a lot more mind over matter than anything else. You have to learn to dress the body you have, rather than the one you want. You mention you are at your largest size ever; if you anticipate losing weight, I wouldn't invest a bunch of money in a new wardrobe at this point. However, if you are honest with yourself and you feel like you might lose a few pounds (or not) but this is probably about where you are going to be, then you should work on finding pieces that fit this body really well.

[Sposa06]

First, I would say to stay away from that much print--I don't think that full length print skirts are flattering on anyone, and they tend to look frumpy and overly casual. If you want to add a bit more interest, I'd stick with something like fun jewelry, fabrics with texture or piping--things that are less busy than allover prints. If you do want to wear prints still, I'd make sure they're something subtle, like pinstripes, or that the print is only on part of the garment (printed trim around the hem of a skirt, for instance).

This is the sort of skirt that you could put on any time you wanted to look polished:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3029110/0~2376776~2374327~6007059~6007103?mediumthumbnail= Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6007103&P=1

How cute is this jacket? And it's marked down to only $46.90!

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3037469/0~2376776~2374327~6007059~6007113~6013122?mediumth umbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6013122&P=2

This cardigan would be a great transition piece (from summer to fall), and it's less than $30:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3029080/0~2376776~2374327~6007059~6021450?mediumthumbnail= Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6021450&P=1

At $78, this one's more expensive, but the pleating detail is awesome:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3037548/0~2376776~2374327~6007059~6021450?mediumthumbnail= Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6021450&P=1

A cardigan like this would be super comfy at home, and you could just add a belt on top before going someplace (think Michelle Obama):

http://www.anntaylorloft.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=21705&Ne=17&loc=LN&pCategoryId=3359&Ns=CATEGORY_SEQ_200&N=1200006+4294966948&Nty=1&categoryId=200&defaultColor=Black&defaultSizeType=Regular

This cardigan would look great worn belted or open:

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=913131&parentid=CLOTHES-SWEATERS&pushId=CLOTHES-SWEATERS&popId=CLOTHES&sortProperties=&navCount=45&navAction=top&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=046&colorName=TURQUOISE&isSubcategory=true

A shirtdress is a great way to feel comfy but also look pulled together (it could be dressed down with flip-flops in the spring/summer and you could switch to tights and ballet flats for fall/winter):

http://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=13658&vid=1&pid=620829

A quick fix for your hair is to just part it on one side and pull it back into a low ponytail, rather than into a knot on top of your head. Oh, and try to use a hair elastic that's close to your hair color.

Probably the best $40 I ever spent on accessories was on a pair of aquamarine studs from JC Penney. They're out of stock in aquamarine, but they have them in blue topaz, citrine, amethyst and garnet, and you can choose white or yellow gold. At 8 mm square, they're a bit larger than typical studs, so they're on the funkier side of classic. Anyway, I wear my aquamarine ones a lot and get complimented on them all the time--in fact, the guy who made my latte this morning at Starbucks was raving about them! He was sure they were blue diamonds and didn't believe me when I told him they were aquamarines, and cost $40--including tax--at JC Penney. The quality is great--in fact, I think I'm off to order a pair in amethyst now! :p

http://www3.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?DeptID=56856&CatID=57562&GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1500729&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=56856|56861|57548&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=1&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=56856|56861|57548|57562

For shoes, I've actually had great luck finding cute flats at Target! I have three pairs that I love. J.Crew is another great place to find flats--I tend to pick dressier flats from J.Crew and casual ones from Target.

As far as purses go, I'd recommend patent leather. It's super easy to care for--it can be just wiped right off--and a classic purse in something like black or gray patent could last you for years.

And don't worry about wearing jeans a lot! Jean shopping sucks, but if you find a pair that fits, get it in two washes. Jeans + flats + cute jacket = great outfit! So if that becomes your uniform of sorts, don't worry! You will look more pulled together than most women, and it's a uniform that's easy to change up with accessories and careful incorporation of trends (adding a ruffled blouse underneath a great jacket, for example, or wearing a bib necklace over a button-down with the sleeves rolled up. Those could both be paired with jeans and flats, and they'd be very different looks!).

Basically, it sounds like you know what you want to wear--you just need to go through the boring part, which is going from store to store to try lots of things on to see what works for you! I have tons of friends who swear by Gap jeans, for example, while I have never had a single pair from there fit me well.

Which brings me to my final point--tailoring! I know you said you don't like tight, but fit is important. Find a classic white button-down blouse you like and get it tailored to fit you, and it will last you for years! It's a piece that could be dressed up or dressed down, depending on the occasion. So, if I were in your place, here's what I'd make my top 5 priorities:

1) White button-down blouse
2) Fitted, dark wash, bootcut jeans
3) One great pair of earrings, one great necklace, one great bracelet (honestly, Target is a great place to find fun accessories--a friend of mine wore $4 earrings from Target to her wedding earlier this summer!)
4) One pair of ballet flats with one cool detail (bow, pleating, print, etc.)
5) Classic patent purse in black or gray

[laura]

I forgot about jewelry b/c I'm in lazy mode with my own! But accessories are a great point. I get a lot of cute stuff from Banana Republic, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft type stores and they are always having sales on their accessories. My go-to earrings are a pair I got at a CDM (www.carriedmader.com) trunk show for <$50 - they are small danglys with coin pearls and 3 small stones that I think are lt pink, lt green and smokey topaz. They're slightly dressier than average, but also can be casual and they go with everything. I second J.Crew for flats, too. They are slightly more $$ but I have a couple of pairs from there that I have literally worn into the ground, and they have some really cute patterns and colors. The flats I have from BR are not nearly as comfortable as the JC ones, too. And ITA about those long patterned skirts. I don't know how tall you are, but I'm 5'5 and all of my skirts should be knee-length and no longer. I have 1 gauze-y type long skirt that I wear just b/c it's so comfortable, but I know it's not the best look for me. It's one solid color, though, so it's not as distracting.

[looch]

Everyone has those days when they feel not so cute, it happens. Sometimes though, you feel like you're in the rut for a few days, it turns into weeks and into months. Before you know it, you're wearing the same three things over and over again, and that's okay! No one notices, trust me. They're also going through their own ups and downs.

Things that make me feel better when I am in those cycles is a good haircut, a new lipgloss, cute shoes and some movement. Get your heart pumping and work up a good sweat. It's a mood enhancer, I swear!