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Sinclair319
08-11-2005, 05:10 PM
The RE I go to is at the hospital. The waiting room is shared by OB/GYN patients. I asked my NP about this today and she said they keep trying to get it moved because they know it's not in the patients best interest. She ask that I write a letter to the patient care manager with my concerns. Here's what I've come up with--what would you add? It's a really rough draft--please give me ideas, language, paragraphs etc. I'm not as upset as this letter portrays, but I want it to come across strong. Names have been excluded for privacy.

I am a patient of (NP) and expressed my concern to her this morning. She asked that I also share this with you in hopes of this situation finally being resolved.

In October 2004, I met with (OB nurse) due to having long irregular menstrual cycles. She suspected I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Diane ordered the necessary tests and said she would refer me to the Reproductive Medicine unit as there was little she could do for me. The test results confirmed Diane’s diagnosis, however, similar to most insurance companies, I had to have “12 consecutive months of unprotected intercourse with the same male partner” without a pregnancy to receive the infertility diagnosis and coverage.

We tried and waited for help for a year. Finally on July 20, 2005, my husband and I arrived for our consultation with (RE). We were told that he was running 30-45 minutes behind schedule and to have a seat in the waiting room. In the 35 minutes we waited, I counted nine pregnant women (two appeared to be still in high school, one was an inmate from the county jail). I had just been forced to wait a year for coverage and them I am told to wait in a room full of pregnant women—some of which obviously did not have the infertility struggle I have. As a person battling infertility I was very uncomfortable waiting in the same area as other pregnant women. Each minute we waited was a constant reminder of the struggle my husband and I face each day. While in the waiting room I saw a coworker of mine waiting with his pregnant wife for an appointment. He made the assumption that I was also pregnant and asked me later that week when I was due. I am not comfortable disclosing my infertility struggle with most people but due to your waiting room, I was forced to address the situation.

I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and believe this practice is unethical. Infertility patients are suffering enough and do not need this emotional torture and the reminder of their struggle by sitting in the same waiting room as women who require little or no effort to get pregnant.

It is unfair, unethical, and erroneous to keep infertility patients in the same waiting area as regular OB/GYN patients. I strongly urge you to develop a temporary solution (such as adding temporary walls and have infertility patients wait in a different area) while designing a permanent and long-term solution.

Please contact me if you would like to further discuss my concerns.

ETA a word, thanks, Lizard!

julietchicago
08-11-2005, 07:04 PM
Great letter, I think it's fine the way it is. I agree that they should have separate waiting areas. Infertility is a very sensitive subject for couples, I know first hand, and it doesn't appear they understand that? :confused:

Scooter
08-11-2005, 07:55 PM
I think it's great, I like your repeated use of the word "unethical." It really is, if you look at this part of the Hippocratic Oath: "...I consider for the benefit of my patient and abstain from whatever is harmful or mischievous."

It's always driven me crazy when RE patients bring in babies and children to the waiting room. Really, just this once, get a babysitter or have your DH wait with them outside!! I always glare at them--thanks for the reminder! Glad things are so great for you that you don't even need to think about that anymore. Anyway, seeing pg women would put me in a horrible mood every time I went in so I think it's great you're writing this.

Lizard
08-12-2005, 06:51 AM
I am not comfortable disclosing my infertility struggle with most people but due to your waiting room, I was address the situation.

I think you missed a word in that sentence. Otherwise, it's really great, and I also think it's great that you're writing to them. :) I hope they take your words to heart and figure out a solution for this.

Sinclair319
08-12-2005, 06:55 AM
Thank you, ladies!!!
Scooter--can you tell me where you got the oath? I'd like to add it to the letter. I don't mind if RE patients bring their kids--at least they understand the struggle and it somewhat gives me hope that I'll be one of "them" soon

Lizard--thanks--I left "forced" between 'was' and 'situation'--thanks for the close eye!

Julie--they (being the NP/RE etc) get it. The larger hospital claims they have bigger issues they need to address first, but the NP said they've been fighting for this since 1987.

Any other ideas, ladies?

bea_mama
08-12-2005, 07:13 AM
Overall, I think it is a very good letter - gets your point across clearly. You have put enough emotion into the letter to make it have impact, but you maintain calm and respect in asking for the situation to be rectified.

I would, however, delete the line that reads:
two appeared to be still in high school, one was an inmate from the county jail
when referring to the nine pregnant women. Although it did sort of add insult to injury for you, I don't think it makes your case any stronger and makes you sound a little judgmental. I don't think that is how you meant it or that you are being judgmental AT ALL, but I want you to come across as persuasive and intelligent - not that you think certain people don't have the right to be pregnant. I hope that is helpful. :)

Good luck!

Sinclair319
08-12-2005, 07:16 AM
I've kinda struggled with that line. The point I was trying to get across is that some people, including the teenagers and probably the inmate, probably didn't struggle to get pregnant like we have/are. I'm not saying they don't have the right to be pregnant, it's just a cruel reminder.

Thanks for the suggestion, I'm not sure if I'll reword things or delete that sentence.

aprilshowers
08-12-2005, 07:35 AM
I think your letter is great though I agree with bea_mama that that one particular line could be construed as judgemental. At the very least I would remove the part about the inmate

You might want to remove the word "other" from the following sentence: "As a person battling infertility I was very uncomfortable waiting in the same area as other pregnant women" because it implies that you are a pregnant woman.

And I know that you said it doesn't bother you to see children in the waiting room, but it might bother other couples struggling with infertility. My RE's office actually had signs posted in the waiting room asking patients to find childcare for the time that they are at their appointments so as not to upset others who might be sensitive to the presence of children. I really appreciated that they recognized this might be an issue with some patients. I hope that your office quickly gains the same level of sensitivity! And I wish you the best of luck.

jennylou
08-12-2005, 07:57 AM
You might also mention that that sort of room would be very welcome for a woman who is going through a miscarriage, has gone through one or who has lost a child (stillbirth, infant death). I know I would have greatly appreciated not having to wait an hour and a half in the waiting room for my six week PP checkup with all the very pregnant ladies and all the kids that they brought with them.

Sinclair319
08-12-2005, 08:20 AM
aprilshowers--great point, thank you for helping me to see that more clearly.

jennylou--I'm sorry for your loss and appreciate your comment and will add it to my letter.

PrincessButrcup
08-12-2005, 08:20 AM
I had just been forced to wait a year for coverage and them I am told to wait in a room full of pregnant women—some of which obviously did not have the infertility struggle I have.
them should be then

This is a great letter. Good for you for expressing your frustrations with this situation and asking for a change!!!! I hope that it does not fall on deaf ears & that the changes are actually made.


ETA: Maybe some of whom?

Sinclair319
08-12-2005, 09:07 AM
them should be then

ETA: Maybe some of whom?

Thanks, I noticed the them/then thing then saw your post. I'm not sure I understand your ETA though. Thankfully it's Friday!!!!

mamax2
08-12-2005, 09:15 AM
First of all, good for you for taking the time to write this letter! I've needed to address some issues w/a Dr/hosp. for a couple of months now and I've been putting it off, but this is good motivation for me!

Like a few others have mentioned, I would remove the part about the inmate and the teenagers as well as the line about women who hadn't struggled to become pregnant. Obviously, you don't know the situations surrounding their circumstances and while you may speculate they didn't have trouble, you really don't know. I understand where you're coming from, but I think your argument is stronger if you treat the situation as a whole (i.e.: separate pg women from non-pg women) than if you start adding lots of qualifiers that may be perceived as judgements.

Oh, and I think PrincessButrCup's eta was because you referred to a 'room full of pregnant women - some of which...[/i] and she was suggesting using 'whom' instead of 'which' because you were referring to people not objects.

Again, overall good letter and I'm glad you're writing it. I hope they listen!

PrincessButrcup
08-12-2005, 10:39 AM
That was exactly what I was thinking. Thanks, mamax!