August 2009 Mommies - Our 2nd Trimester

[BerBer]

Not much going on here baby wise. I'm really excited to get this wedding over with this weekend. I had my final fitting for the dress yesterday and I think it will look ok from the front but huge from the back and the side. Also, my arms have gotten so chunky it makes me want to cry!

I've been having to deal with a bunch of family drama these days regarding my baby showers. My Mom passed away 2 years ago and I was always really close to her side of the family growing up. She is one of 11 and her sisters are like my close friends. My Dad's side of the family is the opposit. They are very distant relatives, in my opinion, even though they all lived in the same town. But they are just a different sort of people... always looked down on my Mom's family because they aren't rich and don't have any pull in the community. Naturally since she has passed I've stayed really close to her side of the family and things have drifted even further from the otherside.

Well, when the one aunt who I do occassionally speak with on my Dad's side found out about me not having her side of the family invited to my babyshower she has been nothing but trouble to deal with. Never mind that she is the hugest gossip and is always using EVERY.SINGLE.THING I say as fodder for her boring life...

Anyway, she doesn't have kids and is super jealous of my relationship with my Mom's sisters and is trying to... I don't know... be my new Mom or something. I really hate it and she is just getting out of control, calling me everyday... asking who I'm having in the delivery room... hinting that she wants to be there... always trying to get me to talk about my Mom's sisters and my Dad's girlfriends...

I'm just so tired of it all. She is throwing me a shower now for her side of the family but I'm tired of all the little jibs and jabs towards the other shower. I have a feeling that I'm going to let her have it one of these days.

[Chimichanga]

BerBer - do it before the baby (or during labor) and then "blame" it on the baby :D Although, it sounds like this aunt has it coming either way.

[Chimichanga]

The dresser was supposed to be delivered today for the nursery, but BRU is again screwing with us. I posted my original complaint over in Chit Chat (knowing I was way overly emotional) if you want to read it.

I'm hoping we get this straightened out before the ButterBean gets here!

[tandt]

Hi ladies-- so sorry I've been MIA. Work has been INSANE and I'm starting to have really dark thoughts about the pregnancy-- cord accidents, abnormalities, post-birth issues, etc. It's been pretty strange in my mind. But, I'm trying to work thru it all.

chimi, I read your post in Chit Chat-- that really sucks and I don't blame you for being angry. I think you've gotten some good advice on how to make the biggest impact when complaining. Please don't let it upset you or get your blood pressure up-- I know that's easier said than done though. I would, however, suggest going straight to the store and regional mgrs at this point-- forget dealing with these associates-- they sound useless.

Regarding heartburn, I get it (actually reflux) every.single.day and take my grocery store's generic of Zantac 75-- it works within 5 minutes and the doc said it's safe to take so that would be my suggestion.

berber, honestly I think we have the same family, yet in reverse. My dad is one of 11 and I'm so close to my aunts/uncles and cousins. My mom is one of 5 (one has passed though) and I'm not close to those aunts/uncles/cousins in the least. Your aunt sounds like a real piece of work-- you certainly know her and I would hope she's trying to help you thru this time since the loss of your mom. I know that may be idealistic, but I'm trying to think the positive in people in their motives. Otherwise, I agree with chimi-- tell her off!

jen, I totally miss my rings-- I love my engagement/wedding rings and it's strange not wearing them. I do wear a ring that DH gave me that I normally wear on my right hand. It is strange to feel that people may think I'm not married and knocked up!

lady, yuk on the big H-- I hope you're feeling better. I'm terrified of getting those and I know it's coming some time soon.

yoga, ADORABLE pics from the shower-- the cake is so cute. And how in the world are you surviving without AC? I know it's usually not needed in your area, but the thought simply breaks me into a sweat! I live in Atlanta, so not having it here would make me have a breakdown!

**
We had an OB appt yesterday and all seemed well (we just listened to the heartbeats). Today we had our perinatologist appt and all looked good-- Baby B has actually flipped, so both babies are vertex. So, I'm going to play it by ear in terms of vaginal vs c/s birth and see what happens.

Baby A is already 3lbs 15oz and Baby B is 3lbs 9oz, so these are pretty good size and could easily be over 5 lbs each at birth which I would be so happy with! I was only 6 lbs 15 1/2 oz at birth and I think DH was fairly smaller too.

DH is picking up our glider on Saturday and we're still waiting on the cribs to arrive-- ugghh, I hope they come soon. DH hung our plantation shutters the other night and did such a great job. I'm so ready to get it all done in the nursery, honestly.

[Chimichanga]

tandt - I think it's natural to have nervous thoughts at this point. We're getting in the "home stretch" so the prospect of holding our babes in our arms is within reach so to speak. I had/have the same as well. I also think reading the Dr. Tiller thread in News (at least for me) has put some thoughts in my mind that might not have been there.

And 5 pounds for twins sounds really good to me! Granted, I have no clue what size twins should be but I know they aren't generally 10 pounders each. :p

[yoganut]

chimi - I am so sorry you are getting the run around with your furniture. How frustrating! Yeah, I agree that you need to speak with a manager of some sort now.

Tant - I agree that scary thoughts are pretty normal. That said, PPD/Anxiety can actually start during pregnancy with hormone shifts, so just watch it and see if the feelings continue. I think I shared this, but I ended up with PPD last pg, manifest as Anxiety. For me, I was always feeling like I was in 'fight or flight' mode and having scary thoughts about my kids (e.g. worried a car was going to hit me as I was loading baby in car, scared carrying him downstairs, etc.). A doctor I met with said these kinds of worries are really symptomatic of PPD, when they happen frequently and are overwhelming fears. I do NOT bring this up to frighten you, just so you are aware of whether they are normal passing concerns or more pervasive. Sounds like it is more about you being in the home stretch, as Chimi said. Hey - CONGRATS on growing 2 really healthy babies. They sound like they are thriving and growing great!!! Huge reason to celebrate!

Well, after a bit of drama yesterday, we got a/c!! The night before last, I seriously only slept for 3 hours because I was so hot and miserable. I was like a walking zombie yesterday, and told DH he needed to get a portable unit that day. There had been an email chain to our neighborhood from the HOA saying they didn't have a problem with portable units, but they didn't want people getting 'in window' units because of noise and asthetics. So, DH didn't pay attention to the details and got a window unit! I came home, and saw him drilling holes into the window sill and siding outside our window, and asked if that was for the 'exhaust hose'? He said no, it was for holding the a/c in the window...and then got really pissed at ME when I pointed out he had bought the wrong kind of a/c. Grrr. Long story short, he returned it and we got one of the last portable units at Home Depot. Oh, and I finally got a good night's sleep! Still a bit of tension around this though - hey, not my fault that you didn't absorb the details on what we were supposed to get.

The boys had their sibling class last night. It went over OK...not great. Younger DS would not TOUCH the doll they had put out for each kid to practice holding and diapering. He seemed to like the childbirth floor tour though, and they did some cute crafts at the end of the class (made a paper chain as a 'birthday party' decoration for the baby's birthday) which he enjoyed. Oh, it was so funny - the instructor played a tape of a newborn crying, and the 6 kids in the class looked so bewildered and disturbed. One boy asked the instructor to make it stop and a little girl put hands over her ears. You forget that a newborn cry is 'disturbing' to even young kids!

[tandt]

Thank you yoga and chimi for the feedback on my emotions-- I hadn't even thought about PPD possibly developing now. I think I really need to keep an objective 'eye' on myself and be honest if I need help. Part of it, I'm sure is just the reality of it all. Having gone thru fertility treatments only to have a heartbreaking m/c and now be blessed with twins, it's hard to accept it's all actually going to happen.

chimi, I was on the Dr Tiller thread too. Usually I stay WAY away from anything abortion on CC, but I think the feelings I was having pulled me to it.

yoga, not in a ha-ha way, but it's funny about the kids not like the sound of a baby crying.

[lady1297]

tandt- I agree that it's totally normal to be going through the list of "bad things that could happen". I'm going through them myself. I've had 2 successful pregnancies and keep thinking, why do I deserve a third healthy one. I've refused most testing and now I'm paranoid about what I might have found out if I had actually done the tests, or what the doctors' expression was for after he measured me, and why is he asking that question is something wrong? I think it's like the weird pregnancy dreams-the hormones do weird things to our heads. :)

[Jen309]

Berber I lost my mom back in 2002, so I can comisserate with you there. It's really hard to me that my mom never met any of her grandkids, but after we went through IF for 3 years, and wound up with 3 naturally concieved kids and (so far) 2 absolutely adorable healthy boys, I truly think that she (and my DH's dad, who has also passed) have had a serious hand in our blessings. My family situation is similar, in that on my dad's side, we've all stayed close or even gotten closer, whereas on my mom's side, I don't see or hear from them often, even though they all live close. It was really weird inviting all of them (large extended family, like my mom's cousins, who were close before my grandma passed about 10 years ago) to my baby shower. I felt like I didn't have a 'contact' so to speak with that side, so what business did I have inviting them, KWIM? And I do have the obligatory nosy aunt (mom's sister) who's always asking inappropriate questions about my dad's situation and my estranged sister :rolleyes: In your situation, I'd just attend the shower and do your best to deflect any further comments from your aunt. I know it can be tough. ;)

tandt Yay for healthy babies that are head down! My old boss delivered her first kids (twins) vaginally - I didn't realize that anyone did that until she told me... She went on to have 3 more babies, so it must not have been too bad :)

Yoga Your boys' sibling class sounds like it was fun! I didn't realize they'd do all that cool stuff!

As for us, this weekend I spent a lot of time washing baby clothes and went through my piles to see where I need to fill in. Our subdivision had a big garage sale this weekend, so I picked up a Target reusable bag full of baby girl stuff for about $10. Got some really cute hardly used shoes, Laura Ashley, Gymboree and Ralph Lauren stuff with tags still on! So, after all that, I should be set til about 12 mos for clothes and actually got some stuff put into the closet!!! :D Also, I got really, really, really lucky and my MIL went crazy on Amazon for us. She got us a Joovy double stroller (used it a ton this weekend for the garage sales!), new carseats for the boys so we can fit 3 across and the Graco Sweetpeace swing. I've got an aquarium one, but the new one is soooooooooo cool. I like the swinging motions (more like being held) and it does songs, mp3s and vibration, not to mention swaddles! It's like Harvey Karp's 5 S's all in one unit! Both of my kids responded well to his ideas, so I think having this swing will be great for those moments when I have to take care of the other two and can't hold baby as much as I'd like. Oh, and my favorite feature is that you can pop the snugride carrier into it. Sooo many times the boys would fall asleep in the car, but wake up as soon as we set them on the floor inside. Sorry to sound like a giant commercial, but I'm really excited about this thing!

[lady1297]

jen- Sounds like you were getting some AWESOME deals! that swing does sound nice. Neither of my boys were huge fans of the swing, or maybe, I just liked to hold them instead. But I think this kid will see more swing time as well! That or my back better be able to handle carrying him in the ring sling A LOT!

--
Spent the weekend with the in-laws. Went well. Hubby and DS1 went fishing on Sunday and had a blast. I see visions of lots of that in our future. I walked a TON on Sunday at a flea market and was very tired, but ahd a blast. I rested on the ride home and feel great today. DS1 gradutats from preschool today and I'm looking forward to that, but know that pregnancy hormones will take over at some point and I'll cry! I want to work on his scrapbook today for preschool. I haven't started, but i don't have the pictures from Shutterfly yet. I'll work on that anyway though and just add the pictures later.
We scored a free set of bunk beds from my husband's aunt Saturday. We're hoping to pick it up in two weeks. It's dark wood and the boys currently have light, so we're going to see how to remedy that one. I may shuffle more furniture than I thought I would have to for this room move. But they're free and in good shape and I trust this aunt wouldn't give me junk.

[Chimichanga]

Jen - your finds sound awesome. I try to hit up the nicer areas for kids clothes because they generally have the really nice/expensive stuff that is barely worn or brand new. ;) Not that you can't find that anywhere, but it's generally easier to do in those areas.

Yesterday we walked around by the lakefront for about 4 hours. We were with my parents and my dad kept asking if I wanted a break. It was cute. He was like "I have to make sure my other granddaughter is okay too." :) I know he worries about me, but words it in other ways (that's just him though). I did have to walk slower near the end and the hills were killer, but I did them.

I can feel ButterBean's behind fairly regularly. It's right under my right ribs. I like patting her behind when she's active. I did that with DD1 and when she fussed the only thing that would calm her down was being patted on the bottom. Of course it only lasted for a few months, but it was still nice to know that something we did together in utero still worked while she was in my arms.

[Sunshine]

I can't believe how much I have missed. I thought I would have more time to visit being at home, but oh has that been wrong!
I have been busy with my daughter going to different playgroups, and well, just cleaning I suppose :p

I can not believe I hit 30 weeks on the weekend! Less than 9 weeks and my baby boy will be here! Seems surreal!

I got a BUNCH of clothes and an Ocean Wonders Swing from my cousin for cheap cheap too. SO that is great! This little guy has WAY MORE clothes than me and my daughter put together! lol. And our good friend is sending us all of their son's clothes too! (Just turned 6 months, so will be a Bunch more newborn stuff! WOW)

Anyways, just got an email saying this group was updated and was shocked to see all the action I missed. I will try to get back later to catch up. I am so sorry everyone.

[BerBer]

Hiya Everyone!

Sunshine~ Wow, it is so nice that you have tons of clothes. Honestly that has been really hard for me to manage because I'm a minimalist when it comes to clothes so I'm scared of all those hand me downs in a way!

Chimi~ That is one long walk! How sweet of your Dad to be so concerned for you. I too find that I'm patting my belly when my little one is moving and groovin a lot.:)

Lady~ Wow, I bet your DS's preschool graduation is going to pull out lots of tears... I find I'm more emotional when I'm not even directly affected, I can't imagine if it were my little boy! Good luck and bring some tissues!

Jen~ Thanks for you post, I felt the same way about getting pg with this little one. We tried for over 2 years and were just about to start clomid and got pg... I really felt like my Mom had a hand in things. I find that so comforting. Your garage sale finds sound amazing. I can't wait until my shower is over so I can justify buying some things at a garage sale too!

Tandt~ I think it is a great idea to keep an extra eye on yourself regarding ppd. It's better to be prepared than blindsided going in. I'm also in the boat of 'I can't believe this is really going to happen'. We tried for a very long time and had one m/c as well. So sometimes I feel like I'm still gaurding myself from heartbreak or something... hugs!

Yoga~ I think it is too cute about those children in your sibling class being so upset by the crying baby. I know this isn't the same but we played a crying baby sound for our dog and he was so bewildered! I think he is going to be so shell shocked with this new baby since he has been our baby for the past 4 years.

My weekend was crazy. I was in that wedding I mentioned earlier. For the most part everything was great but the bride got really, drunk and her dress ended up ripping a pretty big rip in it and she flipped out at the head table and told her Mom to F*ck off in front of all of the guests and left the reception for about 2 hours to cool down and get her dress fixed. It was such a long day that I couldn't really deal with the drama any longer at that point and just tried to put on a happy face and dance and be a good happy bridesmaid and try to get the guests to stop whispering about her melt down.

She ended up coming back out and dancing the night away but she doesn't remember much of the evening and is pretty emabarrassed about her behavior. I feel bad for her but then again, I tried to warn her but she insisted on doing shots and not eating much...

It was weird because everytime I went on the dance floor my baby would start kicking and my contractions would kick in pretty much right way. Me and my irritable uterus!!! Grrr... I did try to get out their as much as possible though and have a fun, my husband is a dancing machine and loves to be out on thd floor. Everyone thought he was so funny and it was fun standing back and watching him groove too. Plus he was a hit with all the ladies who's husbands/dates wouldn't dance... he dance with everyone... and when I did get out there he just danced in a circle around me.:D

[Chimichanga]

BerBer - wow, sorry to hear the bride got so sloppy. That's never good. Maybe it's just me, but I could never figure out how brides/grooms had TIME to get that drunk. We were so busy at our wedding. But good for you to be such a good sport/trooper even when the baby was saying "let me rest, mom!"

[August 2009 Mommies]

Third Trimester Thread is open for posting! (http://www.constantchatter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=46172)