If you don't go to the wedding...

[kmack]

and it is a month or so after the wedding, what kind of gift is appropriate? we recently moved to europe and were invited to 3 weddings around the time we moved or shortly thereafter, and are invited to another one this summer that we won't be able to attend. normally we bring a card with cash in it to weddings that we attend.

since we already missed the weddings i feel weird sending a check in a card, but i don't know if all the couples are registered and the one registry i did check there were just miscellaneous pots and pans left on it. any advice? not sure if it matters but 2 weddings were in the NYC area and one was in boston, just mentioning it b/c i think it is more common to give money in those areas (although i may be wrong!)

[petdoc08]

We were just at a wedding where we were seated with a group of recently married couples. They were all talking about how cool it was to get an unexpected check in the mail months after their wedding date. I think cash is always appreciated.

[bookworm]

I'd still send a card with a check (whatever you would have given if you had attended).

[jennylou]

I don't think anyone would think it odd to get a check in the mail. LOL, I think most would feel giddy - like they got a super lucky mail day.

I know I felt that way this year for my bday - my parents haven't given me money in years, and low and behold a check!

[kmack]

oh, ok i'll send checks then! it makes my life much easier ...

whatever you would have given if you had attended

really? i wouldn't think that

[am_81]

really? i wouldn't think that

We normally give the same amount or more when we cant attend a wedding. Every single wedding we've been invited to in the last 4 years involved traveling, so we normally add on a little extra that wouldve normally been spent on plane tickets, car reservations, etc.

[looch]

If it were a wedding of a close friend or family and i couldn't attend, I would send the equivalent of what I would send if I had attended the wedding.

I am trying to think of a situation where I haven't attended and been invited, and only one comes to mind, of a coworker a few years back. I believe another coworker and I sent something from the registry, like the coffee machine.