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emschwar
06-24-2008, 08:16 AM
Noah's really into telling jokes right now. He's got about 4 or 5, and they're getting old (to us - he could tell them over and over and be perfectly happy). But I can't remember any good preschool appropriate jokes! I thought maybe we could all share jokes for this age group.


Here's our current stand-up routine:

Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work!

What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Impatient Cow
Impa...
MOO!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce Who?
Let us in!

Pine Tree
06-24-2008, 08:35 AM
This is my favourite joke of all time from the preschool years:


Where do bees go to the bathroom?
The BP station!:D

Renrel
06-24-2008, 09:21 AM
Thanks for this thread, we could use some new material over here as well.

What special clothes do you wear when it rains?
Thunderwear!

How do you know it is raining cats and dogs?
When you step in a poodle!

Whats the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can't Tuna fish!
(this is his all time favorite at the moment)

What do you get when a hen lays an egg on the roof?
An egg roll!

Knock Knock
Whose there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, I'll take you to the zoo!

And every joke is always followed by "Get it? Do you get it?"

missy329
06-24-2008, 07:29 PM
Kartie's current favorite:

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

I will have to try and remember some others she tells!

spps
06-24-2008, 08:25 PM
My dad likes to tell DS (3):
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off

Renrel
06-24-2008, 08:44 PM
Here are a couple more

Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.

When to you call a chef bad?
When he beats an egg.

sublime311
06-24-2008, 10:58 PM
These two are my favorites!

Q: Why did the tissue dance across the table?
A: Because it had a little boogie in it!

Q: Why did the elephant wear tennies?
A: Because the elevenies were too big!

Here's a kid's joke link: http://kids.yahoo.com/jokes

1_mommy
06-25-2008, 10:58 AM
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Boo

Boo Who?

Don't Cry its only a joke!

daphne
06-25-2008, 11:13 AM
Knock Knock!

Who's there?

A cow says....

A cow says "Who?"

No, a cow says "Moo!"

Renrel
06-25-2008, 11:22 AM
Another of DS favorites -

him - one a skunk
me - two a skunk
him - three a skunk
me - four a skunk
him - five a skunk
me - six a skunk
him - seven a skunk
me -eight a skunk
him - ha ha ha - you ate a skunk

--
one more I remembered

Why did the boy throw his valentine on the floor?
So he could stamp it.
--
not one of DS's but I always liked this one

How do you make an elephant float?

Two scoops of ice cream, some soda and one elephant.
(of course it only works if you lknow what an ice cream float is, which DS does not.)

Renrel
06-26-2008, 08:05 AM
DS is already practicing the new jokes! :D More, More, More!

I find it funny that DS seems to get the humor of the jokes yet he will still tell nonsencical jokes as well. Hard to see how their minds work at times.

Natasha
06-27-2008, 09:17 PM
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho Cheese!

How do you tell a dinosaur to hurry up?
Shake-a-leg-asaurus!

What's black and white and red all over?
A zebra (or penguin) with a sun burn!

He has a ton more that I can't think of off the top of my head, I'll post again later.

Renrel
06-28-2008, 09:47 AM
Learned a great new one (for us)

Knock Knock
Whose there
olive
Olive who
Olive you (I Love u)

and

Knock Knock
whose there
Ken
Ken who
Ken you come out and play?

emschwar
07-04-2008, 08:23 PM
I just did some googling because I'm getting sick of Noah's current jokes. Sorry if any of these are repeats - I can't remember everything in the thread :)

How do you know if there's an elephant under your bed?
Because you need a ladder to get in !!

Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q: What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A: French flies.

What kind of keys do kids like to carry?
Coo-kies!

What goes TICK TOC , WOOF , TIC TOCK , WOOF?
A watch dog!

What weighs 5,000 lbs and wears glass slippers?
Cinderelephant.

What do you call it when a cow sings?
Moo-sic

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
No! Kanga roo!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Tank!
Tank who?
You're welcome!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in here?

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Momma.
Momma who?
Momma, please open the door!

Who's there?
Cow-go
Cow-go Who?
No, Cow go MOO!!!

Kingdono
08-08-2008, 09:11 AM
Thanksgiving jokes. I know it's a little ealry.

What did the turkey say to the refrigerator?

Close the door I'm dressing.


What did the turkey say to the oven?

Open the door I’m roasting.

Renrel
08-08-2008, 10:24 PM
How do you make a cat happy? Spray Purrrrfume.

What do lambs like to eat? Baaalony sandwichs.

Alanna
08-09-2008, 06:41 AM
here's my all time favorite:

Q. Where does a king keep his armies?

A. In his sleevies!


heheh. i love that. :)

emschwar
10-09-2009, 06:52 PM
I'm listening to a CD from the prairie home companion joke show, and there's kids jokes. Here's some:

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No Eye-Deer

Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they can't remember the words

Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk

What kind of bees give milk?
Boobies! (Ok, probably not one to send to school :))

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?
Right where you left it

Why did the cookie visit the doctor?
He felt crummy

What did the hot dog say when he crossed the finish line?
I'm the wiener!

Did you hear about the skunk who went to church?
He had his own pew!

Why couldn't the pony talk?
He was a little horse

What should you do if you're eaten by an elephant?
Run and run around until you're all pooped out.

What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!

How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
Buccaneer

What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
Nacho cheese

Did you hear that the stop and shop is merging with the A&P?
Now it's called the Stop and Pee!

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?
You put lox on it.