Save The Date Wording Help

[kimbyj]

My brother and I are throwing a surprise 80th birthday/45th wedding anniversary party for our parents in October. I am sending out the save the date cards this week. I am still a bit uneasy about the wording.

Here is what I have so far - BUT I think it's too long. Any ideas? Should I just say something like:

Save the Date
date/time/place???

OR should I go with what I have here:

A 45th Wedding Anniversary & 80th Birthday Party

Something special is in the air
Not one but two exciting affairs
A surprise party and you’re invited to show
But please don’t tell XXX & YYY
‘cause they don't know

YYY’s another year older
in fact, a new decade this year
Add to that 45 years of their wedded bliss
This is an event we hope you won’t miss

We want to surprise them
with all of you there
Because you are among our friends and family we hold so dear

So, please come celebrate
We can’t wait…
The party starts at 5:30 please don’t be late
We will get them both there under some guise
So please don’t RUIN THE SURPRISE


City, State
Invitation to follow

[salysaturn]

I like it for the most part, but this here could probably be take out and still make sense, and not make it so long. Any STD's I have seen were just a magnet, or on a card. If you want to keep it in, I think it would flow better, with the second line beining tweeked.

We want to surprise them
with all of you there - I think should be here, so it flows and rhymes with dear.
Because you are among our friends and family we hold so dear

[R_mageddon]

Honestly, I think the first verse of the poem is sufficient. The rest is what you would put on the invite, especially the last part about the time etc. STDs are usually short and sweet, they let the person know what day they need to plan for and why. All the rest of the details are explained in the invitation later on.

[imagirliegirl]

Honestly, I think the first verse of the poem is sufficient. The rest is what you would put on the invite, especially the last part about the time etc. STDs are usually short and sweet, they let the person know what day they need to plan for and why. All the rest of the details are explained in the invitation later on.

Agree!

Cute poem, though! It will be great on an invitation. :D

[mrschica]

I agree that the first verse is fine, afterward you can put "save the date" and the rest of the info like date, time, location, etc. :)

[R_mageddon]

I was thinking about it today and had a thought.

Why not use the first verse and put '....' or '...to be continued' at the end...then when you send out the invite put the whole poem including the first verse again, or treat it as an extension to the STD.

Perhaps make the poem a bit of a theme...create a little suspense

[kimbyj]

Thanks for the ideas. It has been bugging me - how to do this.

We are leaving on a cruise the day after the party so the invite is a "passport" invite

For the STD I am using paper that looks like luggage tags.

[R_mageddon]

Cute idea :)