Free entertainment from my preschooler/toddler

[Elmophant]

Personally I think there is nothing funnier than reading about embarassing stories that children have done to their parents, especially now that I have one that is around that age. So lets share...

My 3 year old is FINALLY getting the poop in the potty thing down. 2 days ago she went on her own accord and had a massive poop. When she was done she clapped her hands and said "That's a big ol' turd!" Then she wanted to save it so my FH could see what she had done...what a lucky guy!

[Kanga]

Dd1 was staying with dh's parents and SIL who is home on a break from college. SIL's boyfriend was over visiting and needed to use the restroom. Not only did she announce 'Tustin (Justin in toddlerese) potty!" to everybody when he went in, she cheered and applauded him once he exited the restroom. I'm sure he would have rather died.

[Tray85]

Since we are telling potty stories.... Every time DD and I have to use a public restroom, she shouts "Mommy, do you have to go pee pee or poo poo!?!??" for all to hear. :o She also tells everyone that they get a treat for going to the bathroom.

[Megande]

Ok, continuing with the potty theme, I have had many, many conversations like the following with my son Dean:

Dean: "What happened to your penis, mom?"
Me: "I don't have a penis. Men and boys have a penis. Women don't have penises."
Dean: "Daddy has a penis?"
Me: "Yes, Daddy is a man so he has a penis."
Dean: "Baby Reed has a penis?"
Me: "Yes, he is a boy."
Dean: "But where does he keep his penis?"
Me: "It is under his diaper."
Dean (thinking for a minute): "Lightning McQueen has a penis?"
Me (impressively resisting the urge to laugh): "No, lightning McQueen is a car. Cars don't have penises."

Next potty trip. He has clearly been thinking about all that he has learned about penises.

Dean: "Men and boys have a penis, mom?"
Me: "Yes, that is right."
Dean: "You don't have a penis, mom?"
Me: "No, I'm a woman, I don't have a penis."
Dean (thinking very hard): "So you pee out your bottom?"
Me: "yeah, Dean, I do."

[quest]

Me: "yeah, Dean, I do."


LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Classic! :)

[Ellyn]

Toddlers love their pee and poo talk :rolleyes:

Yesterday I went to get DS up from his nap:
Me: What's that smell?
DS: I dunno!
Me: Did you poop in your diaper?
DS: No, I didn't
Me: Are you sure, something sure is stinky!
DS: Yeah, I'm sure...Julian took a dump! [his cabbage patch doll]

[dana b]

we had a doozy today.

dd - "grandpa, does grandma have hair on her butt? my mommy and daddy have hair on their butts and vaginas" :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Elmophant]

What is it with toddlers/preschoolers and defication?

As a nurse I spend a lot of time with my DD playing...she has play Dr. equipment and LOVES checking blood pressures and listening to lungs. LOL I took her to a hockey game for the first time and a player took a stick to the nose and immediately dropped to all 4's and blood was pouring out of this nose. I was worried because this was directly infront of us...no worries...my DD stands in her chair, looks at me with excitement, and proclaims "MOM! He's got blood!"

[junkinmytrunk]

we had a doozy today.

dd - "grandpa, does grandma have hair on her butt? my mommy and daddy have hair on their butts and vaginas" :eek: :eek: :eek:

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

[Elmophant]

we had a doozy today.

dd - "grandpa, does grandma have hair on her butt? my mommy and daddy have hair on their butts and vaginas" :eek: :eek: :eek:

This is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D

[AlisonCO]

DS - 4.5

After seeing a few $1 coins on the counter...

DS - could I have some?
me - you can have one for your bank if you help me clean the water table and clean the sandbox toys.
DS - (smiling) 4??
me - no, one
DS - 3?? (adorable cheesy smile)
me - (laughing)
DS - OK, OK 2!

The other night after bath...

DS - Wow my penis is big.
me - do you need to pee?
DS - No mommy it is not full of pee, it is just big.
me - Oh, OK
DS - DO you want to measure it?
me - :eek:


DD - 2.5

Before bed...

me - Mommy and Daddy love you very much
DD - No.You.Don't!
me - Aidan loves you so much
DD - No.He.Doesn't
me - We love you becasue you are very special to us
DD - No.I.Am.Not
DD - No one loves me and I am not special
me - Ok, have sweet dreams
DD - No.I.Won't have sweet dreams

OH vey, 2 is hard!