Who attends a 4 year olds party?

[jay&erinn]

We've been lucky all year and none of the kids in DD's preschool class has had a class birthday party (my checking account thanks all the other parents). Well, the first one is this saturday. Who attends? The birthday girl is turing 4 and my DD is 4.5. I really don't feel comfortable just dropping her off, but don't want to be the only mom that sticks around. It's just the girls in the class that were invited and it's 2 hours long. DD is not close friends with the girl and I don't know the parents well at all- just to say hi in passing. DH has to work and I've arranged for my mom to watch my younger DD so that I'm not showing up with a million other people in tow. Am I being overprotective or am I correct to assume that one parent should attend with her?

[Littlelamb11]

In my area, the trend is parents staying at parties until Kindergarten (around 4.5-5/Pre-K, some parents start leaving but most parents still stay). Then they're all drop-off parties from there which is SO nice. :)

[1_mommy]

at 4, i would expect parents to stay with their kids

[dana b]

thinking about dd's preschool class (she's turning 4 next mo), i can't think of a single mother that would leave their kid at this point, so i think you're good.

[Mrs. M.]

Birthday parties for our 4.5 yo circle of friends just started this year, and the last one I went to a lot of the kids were dropped off. I just asked the mom beforehand if I should stay or go and if I could bring DD2, and I had a plan for stuff to do if I was to leave. Turns out she was happy to have at least some parents stay, and I stayed.

[kerrykate]

Lauren was invited to a b-day party of one of the girls in her preschool class back in Feb. I wanted to stay since I didn't really know the family. There was one other girl from her class that showed up and her dad dropped her off and left. I was really kind of dreading going and sitting there for a couple hours but actaully ended up having a good time chatting with the other adults. And the mom made great food!:)

[tinkerbelljenny]

At least one parent always attends the 4 year old parties were we live. Most people bring siblings too unless they can find babysitters or husband to watch the other kids. I would never leave my son at a party at his age especially with parents I barely know.

[jay&erinn]

Glad to know I'm not unreasonable with wanting to stay.

I was really kind of dreading going and sitting there for a couple hours but actaully ended up having a good time chatting with the other adults.
I hope this is true. The moms in DD's preschool are pretty clicky (a lot of them have older kids in the school and already know each other) so I'm kind of dreading it.

[kristin]

We attended the birthday party of a 4 yo last year - it was about 45 minutes away and they were old friends, so obviously we stayed. They had invited all the girls in their daughter's class - about 10 kids - as well as some neighborhood girls. The mother was floored that everyone dropped the kids off and left. All the parents just pulled up, watched their child walk into the house, and then drove away. She is not the kind of person to say anything.

Thank God we were there to help her out - 16 girls to two parents is a tough ratio, esp when you've got other children. I can't imagine dropping my child off like that!

They live on a military base, and I think parents there may have a false sense of safety since living on base is really community oriented. But still, it was really tough on this mom. She told me she would neve have invited so many kids if she knew the parents wouldn't be staying.

[shelbel]

DD will be turning 4 in August and I hope all the parents stay for her next party! I was surprised that my DD was invited to two 3 year old parties last year that were "drop-offs". We didn't attend the first one and I stayed for the 2nd one (and brought DH and DD2 since they are neighborhood friends). She will be the first in her class to turn 4, but I'm not sure we will invite all her preschool friends, since she has a late summer bday.

For both "drop-off" parties, it did state in the invitation that it was fine to drop off your child or stay. I would imagine it would be fine for you to attend with your child, since it didn't say either way.

[Mrs. M.]

All the parents just pulled up, watched their child walk into the house, and then drove away. She is not the kind of person to say anything.

Wow. That's crazy to me. I would always ask the hosting parent, and if it was drop-off, take my kid in and make sure she was comfortable before leaving.

[Ohana]

DD1 is 4.5, and either DH or I have attended every birthday party with her. In some cases, we've even taken DD2 with us and attended as a family. When we hosted a party for DD's 4th birthday, I fully expected one or both parents would attend. It would be weird to me that parents I only see in passing at daycare (if at all) would leave their 3-4 yo with me.

Also, I really enjoy the birthday parties, because it's a chance for me to (finally) get to know the parents of the kids I've been seeing at drop off/pick up for the past 4 years.

[mamax2]

My oldest is in pre-k, so all the kids have been turning 5 this year and the parents pretty much always stay. There's one family that routinely drops off, but they're the exception, not the norm. If we're friends with the other family, we might all go, otherwise either DH or I go. We try to leave my younger DD at home, but that's not always possible if it's while one of us is working and the other on kid duty.

Oh, there was 1 party where it was just the birthday girl + 3 friends at Chuckie Cheese. The Mom & the grandparents supervised and it was a drop off situation. That was o.k. to me because the ratio was much smaller. I wouldn't trust dropping my DD off at some of these mega-parties.

[dziner]

We've been invited to a few drop-off optional parties, but all by families we know somewhat well. In all cases about half the parents dropped off and half stayed. Sometimes one parent will take two (unrelated) kids and keep and eye out for both of them...that works out nicely.

[margiepgh]

My 4 year old DS has been invited to 2 birthday parties this year and in both cases the parents stayed at the party. In fact, in some cases, the parents and siblings came. These parties were both at public locations and I don't imagine any of the parents would have just dropped their 4-year olds off at the party. I actually had a pretty good time getting to know the other parents and kids.

[AlisonCO]

I have never been to a 4yo party where parents leave. I usually enjoy taking DS to a friends party becasue he can be crazy and I can chat. Also with DS's personality I can't imagine that I will be leaving him anytime soon - that would be too scary for him.

[almostthere]

As my daughter just started attending 5 year old parties - many are "drop off optional" - I have not left her but often will buddy with another friend and one of us will take both and keep an eye on them.

I would never though just drop her off and not walk in. I will say about the siblings - we stopped inviting siblings unless they were family friends, and we noticed that is the same for many of her preschool friends - it is just too many kids with every family bringing one or two more. A baby is one thing but an extra 3 year old from every family - doubles the party size. Obviously if a parent calls and has a situation we make an exception.