late pt support

[magdesilver]

Anyone else dealing with this? My DD is turning 3 next week and has NO interest in PT. She never wants to sit on the potty. She tells you when she has to go both pee and poop, but if you say "do you want to sit on the potty?" she emphatically does not want to. She says "I want to go in my pull up/diaper". I've tried putting her on there anyhow and she freaks out. Then she calms down and wants to sit there for an hour with me reading to her (oh, and never goes). I can't do that with a very active 15 month old running around. I know I need to be patient and wait, but it's so hard!!
Anyone else btdt or dealing with it right now? Bribing and rewards don't seem to be working at all, I know she just isn't ready yet....

[vjel]

yes, BTDT except my dd was almost 3.5. It was SO frustrating and we were under the gun b/c she was starting preschool p/t in a month. We had intended to start earlier but w/ a new baby we were afraid she'd regress so we just waited a bit. I did sticker charts w/ prizes for every 5 stickers for peeing, I think she got a lollipop after each pee (we don't normally let her have candy so this was a big treat for her). 2 stickers for pooping which got her 2 skittles or something like that.

Getting that first pee is hard but once that happened it got a bit easier b/c we were all so excited about it. We were able to pee train w/in that month but pooping...that was a whole 'nother story. I thought we'd never get there. For whatever reason she didn't want to poop on the potty. I kept her home from school twice b/c she indicated she needed to poop...if they poop in their underwear at school, they call you to come and change your kid. She would ask for a diaper/pull up to poop in or wait til she was in a dipe at night to poop. My kid can hold her pee/poop forever! It was a constant struggle/fight, I tried everything "by the book" but nothing worked. After awhile, I said screw what the books say, lol. When she had to poop, I just picked her up, many times kicking/crying and sat her on the potty. I was tired of the poop accidents. Sometimes she'd poop, sometimes she didn't. But I held firm and eventually something clicked in her stubborn little head.

I don't have any real advice just commiserating. Try to be patient and just work on it leisurely, she'll get it eventually. :)

[ThreeYell]

It's not that DS doesn't have interest, he's scared of using the potty. He has complete control over his body. He tells me when he's going to poop and goes into the bathroom to do it. But nothing in the world can get him to poop on the potty. I've been consulting the child development specialists at our Parenting Center and they, knowing DS pretty well, think that he's a perfectionist and scared of doing it wrong. I buy that, but none of us can figure out exactly what will work to get him over the fear and going on the potty.

Thanks for starting this thread. I think there are particular challenges to PT an older kid. They're smarter and more independent and have more patience to fight it, IME. This is the one issue with DS where I feel completely lost.

[tinkerbelljenny]

My son wasn't fully PT until his 4th birthday. As soon as he turned 4 he himself said he was done with pull-ups and that was it. I never really pushed the PT on him and just let him decide when he was ready. When he turned 3 he would go pee by himself but not poop so it took a whole year for him to do it himself.

[JackieO]

well, we're right there on that boat with you...

DD turned 3 in march, and has no interest in going on the potty. We've tried and she has actually peed on the potty about 5 times but our last potty training experience was terrible. She definitely has control over her body because she held it all day long, until I'd put a diaper on her for nap or nightime. We didn't have accidents because she would just hold it all day, which is definitley not good for her. we had a sticker chart which worked for a day or two,, then she would just say I don't want a sticker! She doesn't like candy (weird I know) so I couldn't use that, loves marshmallows, but again, she'd get to the point where she'd say I don't want one!

I know it's all about control and she needs to feel in control about it, but it is so frustrating. I'm hoping this summer she'll get it.

[jbemommy]

DD wasn't PT'ed until about 3.5. She was very stubborn about peeing on the potty, like many have mentioned, she had excellent bladder control. She could hold her pee until she got a diaper for bedtime. We finally put her in panties (she liked being able to have princess and Dora panties), and made her sit on the potty with a diaper every couple of hours. Once she had been consistently peeing on the potty with a diaper for a while, we finally told her she could not have a diaper anymore. There was some crying at first, but she has done a great job since.

She is now 4 years, 2 months, and is finally PT'ed for poop as well. That was an even bigger struggle b/c she has issues with constipation and we couldn't let her go for days without pooping if we took away her pull-ups. She wasn't having any accidents with poop, she would just not go if she didn't have a pull-up. I'm honestly not sure what finally made it click for her, but just in the past two weeks, she has started pooping in the potty, and even asked me to throw away her pull-ups because she doesn't need them anymore. :D

[marchfamily]

Currently there. DD1 turned 3 in early January and showing no signs of PT.

[Peever]

DS was over 3.5 when he finally agreed to pee on the potty. We tried everything with him and he just woke up one day and decided he wanted to wear underwear and that was that. He's had very few accidents. He pooped on the potty twice and got scared and has refused to ever since so I'm still waiting it out on that one. He usually waits until I'm nursing DD or trying to get her to nap in her room and puts a pull up on and poops so it's hard for me to even encourage him to poop on the potty. I know he'll do that in his own time as well, but it's frustrating. He turned 4 last month. I just let him be and try not to push the issue since that just makes it worse.

[ThreeYell]

I bought DS a Baby Bjorn potty a loooong time ago and have been encouraging him to use that. It occurred to me the other day that maybe he's too big for it. He's a pretty big 3. Do you think I should switch to a ring on the regular toilet? He's expressed some fear of falling in but maybe if I could get past that it might be more comfortable?

[Brady]

Also there with you. Same exact issues as others, he knows when he is going and will tell me, but ask if he wants to go on the potty and a freak out ensues. He's peed on the potty ONCE and we were all so excited (also a Bjorn potty), but I think it actually freaked him out and he hasn't gone again. Bribes and stickers do not work. Sigh. We are also dealing with the pre-school thing in the Fall, I'd really like him to be trained by then! But, dealing with a very strong willed 3 year old it's just not happening right now.

JackieO- Too funny about her not wanting the marshmallow. Here we told him he could go bowling after he got 5 stickers, he was so excited.. then the next day when we brought out the potty, it turned into "I don't like bowling!".:rolleyes: 3 year olds are fun, aren't they? lol.

[JackieO]

Brady- i"m telling ya I just wanted to scream that day - you love marshmallows!! apparently just not enough to pee on the potty for them...she did the same thing as yours though - she peed on the potty and we cheered for her and made a big production and i think it scared her off. we're pretty laid back people so i think it may have freaked her out - hopefully we haven't scarred her for life;)

[Elmophant]

She is now 4 years, 2 months, and is finally PT'ed for poop as well. That was an even bigger struggle b/c she has issues with constipation and we couldn't let her go for days without pooping if we took away her pull-ups.

This is my DD who turned 3 at the very end of January. She will pee in the potty but REFUSES to poop.

I talked with our pedi about it and she said DO NOT force them to do anything or it will just cause problems in the end. At first I would get mad at her for pooping in her pants, but now I just deal with it.

If you're concerned see what your pedi says about it, they are all different. It made me feel better when mine said her son wasn't PT until almost 4.

Just a side note...what made the peeing thing click for my DD was having my niece over who is the same age and potty trained. She wanted to wear panties too and that's what did it. My DD hates candy, cookies, etc. and could care less about stickers...so that didn't work for me. GOOD LUCK!

[anemone]

Threeyell If your DS is a big 3 year old, maybe he'd want to pee standing up? My friends who have PT'd 3 year old boys have found that they have had success when they allow them to stand up like Daddy, rather than sitting (and feeling fearful of falling in or whatever). You'd just need a step for the toilet, or you could invest in a "weeman" link here (http://www.weeman.com.au)

For those who have had trouble with their children actually using the toilet, another friend of mine had the same problem, and they turned their toilet into a "fairy throne" with dangling flowers from the ceiling and decorated the toilet to make it fun. It actually worked for their DD, and she started sitting there happily. Might be worth a try? They managed to take it all down after a month or so, and she hasn't looked back.

[hub1176]

I'm so glad I'm not alone! DD is nearly 3 and is terrified of the potty. She has peed twice on it, but one time I think was more because she could no longer hold it, and the next time I had to hug/hold her on the potty. I've been reading The No Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley which had some good ideas, but still we've decided to take a bit of a break. I'm still letting her watch when I go, and reading all the potty books to her, and she seems more interested than before. The one thing I have noticed is that now she tells me when she's peeing, even if it's in her diaper. Before she never seemed to notice, so I'm taking that as a positive.

[ThreeYell]

anemone, the Weeman looks hilarious but might be worth the investment since we're having another boy. That's also interesting about the fairy throne toilet. I wonder what a good boy equivalent might be.

hub1176, I'm trying to get DS to tell me when he's peeing in his diaper but he hasn't yet. Is that something you taught your DD to do or something she did on her own?

[bluhimmy]

Thanks for starting this thread!

DS be 4 in August, he's been pee trained since last October, with occasional accidents. He does great in underwear at pre-school, but then when he's home, he'll want a pull-up. I give in because he's not not poop trained, and I am tired of tossing out underwear everyday and it's getting expensive. I've tried everything, and nothing is working for us. He freaks out when we try to put him on the toliet. I'm hoping he will come around soon. It's nice to know I'm we're not alone on this.

[alienhost]

I'm so glad to see this thread, I was beginning to feel like the only one with a 3 year old who isn't interested in PTing.

I've been gently working at it for a long time now, she fully comprehends it. Tells me that big girls poop/pee in the potty and get to wear big girl underwear and don't have to wear diapers. She can stay dry for hours and even during nap. But if I ask her if she want to try the potty she starts screaming at me.

She pooped on the little potty several months ago and she was so excited about it - but she hasn't done it since.

Any book recommendations for child/and me? She was reading Karen Katz's potty book but they talk about having to "go" when water is running and then she is climbing in and out of the tub everytime we have a bath b/c she feels like she has to go (and doesn't/won't).

I'm trying to lay off and be low key to see if she just changes her mind. I promised her a Little Einstein's DVD if she pooped and she talks about that all the time but still won't do it. Today she said "if I pee on the potty I get chocolate". I don't think I even offered chocolate before. I don't think bribes work for this girl. No interest in sticker charts either.

If I see her starting to poop I try to convince her to go to the bathroom and use the potty but she won't. I don't want to force her for fear of never getting there!

[lee60657]

Ah! I am so happy to see this thread!! DD turned 3 at the end of Feb. and has been potty trained for nearly 8 mths. But she refuses to poop on the potty!! She wears underwear full time (except for nights when she wears a pull up just in case) but will ask for (or get and put on herself) a diaper when she has to poop! She has even started going in the bathroom and closing the door to poop in her diaper. It is ridiculous - I am at my wits end and very frustrated with her. If you ask why she won't poop on the potty she always has all these crazy reasons like I will when I am 4 or I can't because I'm not big enough yet...the list goes on and on! I have tried rewards - nothing works - she has no interest in getting something. I don't get visibly upset with her b/c I don't want to further discourage her, but I am at a loss at this point. Any recs? I don't want her to start having issues with pooping .......but she has got to stop with the diapers soon.

[Brady]

This thread makes me laugh because all the kids so so similar (and stubborn!).
Lee- My son is a big fan of "I'll go on the potty next week!"
But yeah, we are still getting nowhere here. "Next week" has come and gone many times. His latest, like someone else mentioned, is going in a special place to poop. At my parents house he would trek all the way upstairs and go into their closet and shut the door! By the end of the visit he would just casually walk by us and on his way up the stairs say "I'm going upstairs in the closet to do poopies." :rolleyes: Ay yi yi.

Thankfully both preschools that we are looking at, potty training is not required, "preferred", but not a must. They just want them in pull-ups and not diapers... but I am so hoping for progress in the next 4 months! I think what frustrates me most is just that he knows he is going, he can hold it if he doesn't have a diaper on, etc. but just will.not.do.it! I'll probably give one try with a potty training boot camp this summer, otherwise I'll just have to keep repeating the motto- "he will not go to kindergarten in diapers.. he will not go to kindergarten in diapers..." :D

[JackieO]

Brady - I'm going to do the potty boot camp this summer too. I'm hoping that it will just click with her and she'll do it. She's just so stubborn! I too placate myself with, they don't ask when they were potty trained on college applications;). I do feel a new sense of urgency though as we just found out we're expecting baby #2 this winter, so there will be a new push towards the potty.
Now if I can just get her to realize that yes, she DOES want to be a big girl!!:p

[jrdhbunny]

We were having great success with peeing in the potty, but recently DS had an accident and now refuses to wear underwear. I tried to entice him with some Diego ones today and he said he'll wear them "when I'm twice as big". And he will not poop on the potty; when I suggest it he says, "tomorrow". :rolleyes: He starts preschool in September so I know we need to get moving on it. The only saving grace is that he doesn't poop in public.

[Brady]

I had to report in that I tried the cold turkey approach to potty training last week, and while I'm afraid to really declare victory just yet... we had great success!

I told him last Monday that we were only wearing undies. He was all done with diapers, only his little brother needed diapers now. Needless to say, it did not go over well. ;) Day one he peed 3 or 4 times in his undies. Day 2 he peed once in his undies, once in his potty, and once when he got in the bathtub. Day 3 he flat out went crazy when he had to go- like crazy to the point i had to shut all the windows in my house so my neighbors didn't call the police... he was jumping around and screaming. He would not sit on that potty though!! It was maddening to watch him hold it like that and not just sit down and do it. Finally he couldn't hold it anymore and went on the kitchen floor. At that point I was imagining him at 18 writing some tell all Mommie Dearest type book about his mean mother that forced him to use the potty... (seriously, it was SO hard to not just throw diapers back on him through this!) When he did go I made a huge deal about it, candy prize, brought out a new sticker chart (which he was surprisingly excited about this time), baked a "Yay Connor!" cake, etc. Through this all I would just bring the potty seat in every room we went in those days and just let him pee in whatever room. At night I did put pull-ups on him as I knew he had to poop and felt badly since I knew he was afraid to do it in the potty.. he pooped in his pull-up on Weds. and called me right after to change him. On Thursday morning he was still fighting it and I was truly ready to throw in the towel and put him back in diapers, but I thought I'd give it just one more day since I had dedicated so much time to it at that point. Well, it was like a switch went off with him late Thursday AM... he started standing up to pee in the little potty and from there, he told me when he had to go the rest of the day (without a long drawn out peepee dance as he had been doing the previous days). He hasn't had an accident since Wednesday! Today he even peed in a toilet out in a restaraunt and is now going in the big potty at home- in the bathroom! lol. I'm still nervous at night and put a pull-up on him, but if he stays dry this week, I'm going to just go all out and do undies at night too. I tell him though that his pull-up are "special undies" and do not use the word diaper with them which I think is what is helping him stay dry overnight.

So, I can't declare victory yet as he is still not pooping in the potty. Today he went in his undies, he was going AS he was telling me that he had to go.. so I need to just keep my eye on him and watch for the signs and hope to get him on there. I think once he goes once, it might ease him along- I know poop training is the hardest.

Honestly- I would suggest trying the boot camp/cold turkey approach for stubborn kids like mine. I know this approach may not sit well with some parents, and I wouldn't have tried it before he turned 3, but I knew with my son's personality, it was going to have to be all or nothing and I knew he was ready physically (even though he had only gone on the potty once before I did this).
Fingers crossed that this "sticks" as they say... ;) If you have any questions, let me know.. I'm sort of typing this all out quickly and it might not make too much sense.

[jenny0505]

Brady,
Is your son going poop on the potty, too? We've had pretty good success with pee, but he is incredibly stubborn when it comes to pooping on the potty. He'll sit there for 30+ minutes without any action. As soon as his diaper/underwear go back on, he runs into another room and goes. I think I might give the boot camp approach a try. I just don't want to scare him from going poop at all, as that might lead to other problems. Any suggestions or tricks that worked for you?

[JackieO]

Brady - YAY for Connor (and you!)! We've been really talking about the potty lately but DD still says she won't do it. I think this is probably the way we'll have to go too, I just have to work myself up to it. Glad to hear you had some success though!! Here's some sticky potty vibes:)

[KiKi'sMommy]

Our DD turned three in Feb. Up until about a month ago, she rarely showed any interest in using the potty. She liked diapers and always wanted to wear them. I really wasn't all that worried about it and didn't pressure her, because I knew if I did, she would just be stubborn about it. One day, she didn't have a diaper or panties on and I noticed she was using the potty! So, for about two weeks or so, while we were at home, she went without wearing anything. There were a few accidents, but for the most part it worked well. Then suddenly, she started pooping in the potty too. About two weeks ago, I decided to try panties at night. Well, much to my surprise we have only had two nighttime accidents!!! I really think that we had to wait until she was ready. I think pushing it too early just leads to stress and heartache for everyone. I just kept saying that she wouldn't go to kindergarten in diapers, it would happen eventually!!!

[allyray231]

coming in to get some advice!

[BeachBum]

I bought DS a Baby Bjorn potty a loooong time ago and have been encouraging him to use that. It occurred to me the other day that maybe he's too big for it. He's a pretty big 3. Do you think I should switch to a ring on the regular toilet? He's expressed some fear of falling in but maybe if I could get past that it might be more comfortable?

We have a toilet seat made by kohler, I think, (got it at lowes) that has a slow close seat and lid and a built in potty ring. We were really worried about his penis getting slammed and pinched between the seat and toilet. (He stands up to pee). The built in ring is very convenient and we plan to put it on our other toilet as well.

[bluebunny]

I haven't read this whole thread but I thought I would throw out my advice. ;) My son was three years, three months before he gave up the diapers. We knew he could do it before that but he refused because he did not want to move up to the next room at daycare. (That's the reason he gave for not wanting to use the potty. :rolleyes: )

It was very frustrating, knowing that he was over three and was capable of using the potty. Fortunately, no real training involved. So my advice is to wait until your child shows true interest and then it is extremely easy! :D

[jrdhbunny]

DS has regressed. :( He now says he only wants diapers and doesn't want to use the potty, even for pee. Sigh. I know that it's often one step forward, two steps back, but I thought we were on the right track.

[ThreeYell]

I took away the pullups on Monday and suddenly the child who had voluntarily peed in the potty maybe once before runs to the potty whenever he has to go and goes. It's amazing. He was scared and cried a little on Monday but after that, he's nothing but proud. So am I!

Poop, OTOH, is not going well. He still absolutely refuses to poop on the potty. After he held it for 2 days, I called the parenting center at our children's hospital and asked what to do. They said that children can and do hold poop until they do serious physical damage to themselves. They recommended I put him in a pullup when he tells me he has to poop, then take it off as soon as he goes. That's working pretty well now. I hope that once he gets more relaxed about peeing, the poop will work itself out.

[Brady]

Sorry jrdh. I hope he decides he is ready again soon..

Threeyell- We are in exactly the same boat. My son does great peeing, he hasn't had an accident and stays dries overnight since we did the cold turkey approach. OTOH, he has yet to poop in the potty, he is quite happy to do so in his undies and then proudly announce that he has after doing so. He won't even tell me before he has to go, or I would be taking the same approach and putting him in a pull-up, it would be so much better than going through a few pairs of undies a day! I'm going to get a brand new sticker chart this weekend and make it the "poopie in the potty" chart, he really got into putting the stickers on his chart (and getting the prizes) when learning to pee, so I have to at least try it for this and see how it goes. Poop is so much harder because it's so infrequent... pee I could keep my eye on him and catch him while he was doing his little peepee dance. :rolleyes:

Man, I never thought I'd have this much to say on pee and poop! :p

[Tray85]

DD will pee and poop on any potty, but she refuses to wear underwear and still treats her pull ups as diapers. (In other words, the potty use is 1) on her terms or 2) only when bribed with M&M's). She's not yet 3...and is very stubborn. I bought her all sorts of cute undies. She wore them one day, peed through one pair and has since refused to put them back on. She told me "my diaper isn't working!"

I am assuming I have to go hard core and take away the pull ups, huh? :o

[KiKi'sMommy]

DD will pee and poop on any potty, but she refuses to wear underwear and still treats her pull ups as diapers. (In other words, the potty use is 1) on her terms or 2) only when bribed with M&M's). She's not yet 3...and is very stubborn. I bought her all sorts of cute undies. She wore them one day, peed through one pair and has since refused to put them back on. She told me "my diaper isn't working!"

I am assuming I have to go hard core and take away the pull ups, huh? :o

I finally just let my DD run around the house naked. She would not pee or poop anywhere but the potty if she was naked, but if she had panties on, she would pee in them. Pull ups never worked for us. I also put a potty out on our back deck, so when she was playing outside, she didn't have to go inside to go to the bathroom. We have a fully fenced backyard, so it was private. Basically, we just stayed home a lot for a few weeks and eventually she got it.

[allyray231]

Coming in. DS will be 3 next week. For a while he was really into sitting on the potty and now he has lost interest. We tired a stick sheet -getting a sticker for everytime he sits. That last about a week. Now when I ask he says NO!

He has never peed in the potty but he gets how it works. He tells me when he pees or poops.

I am at WOHM and my DS is in a inhome daycare with another little boy who has no interest in PT either. Any thoughts on what to do??

[magdesilver]

I wanted to come in and thank everyone for sharing their thoughts and advice. I found what I think was the magic key for PTing my DD: Wait until she was ready on her own terms!
We are in the process of moving overseas. We left our home about a month ago and are staying at my in-law's house right now. We have another month to go before we head overseas. DD didn't seem very interested in trying the potty before we left unless it was a way to stall going to bed or naptime. So, I pretty much decided to wait it out until we got settled in our new home (and country!). We got here to my IL's house and out of the blue a few weeks ago DD started talking about the potty and wearing big girl panties (BGP's). She is into princesses (no idea how, she knows all the names, but has never seen a movie, watched the disney channel, been to disney, etc.) so we were at kmart and saw a disney princess potty so we got it for her. Literally the next day she was in panties and since then she's only worn a pull up for napping and nighttime sleep (and 90% of the time it's dry for naps, not quite there for nighttime sleep though). It was like a lightbulb went off for her!
We also used candy as a reward- she got a starburst for peeing and a hershey kiss for poop. We are no weaning off the treats and it hasn't been a big deal, but it was very motivating for her in the beginning. Also we have been watching the DVD "Potty Power" a lot and she loves that! It's really cute!
But really, just waiting until she wanted to do it is what made it happen for us. It was about 2 months after her 3rd birthday. My DD has always been on the later side of normal for pretty much every milestone so it hasn't been a surprise for me. I would have been fine waiting!
We use a folding potty seat from walmart when we are out and she has no problem using it. I'm really proud of her!

ETA- before this time, dd had never peed in the potty on purpose (once on accident and it scared her). She had pooped about 3 times but that was the extent of her on the potty for about 8 months of trying on and off to get her PT'ed.

[Traciann]

I am working on pt with dd and she is doing great. It helps that her daycare teacher worked alot with her before we stopped going in May. She is doing really well during the day, with very few accidents.
my question is:she is wearing a pullup at night and sometimes at naps(she is kinda transitioning out of taking them) when she wake up from nightime sleep her pullup is completely full. Is this normal? How long does this last? Should I just wait until she begins waking up dry to put her in panties?
Thanks! Traci

[hiphopgirl]

All of these stories are so encouraging. I know I'm not the only mother of a 3-yr old who isn't potty trained, but it does feel like mine is the only child who is afraid of the toilet.

I can't tell when he has to pee (only poop) so I don't know when to tell him to sit on the potty anyway. Last night we finally got him to sit on the potty before bathtime. This used to be our ritual before he actually peed in the potty a couple of months ago. I think it scared him from actually wanting to even sit on the potty anymore.

Last night I bribed him with a chocolate just to sit on the d@mn thing. How am I supposed to bribe him to sit on it and actually do something? Have I screwed myself?

BTW, he just turned 3 on Sunday.

[magdesilver]

hiphop,
What helped us in the first week or so when DD gave us signs that she was ready (saying she wanted to use the potty and wear panties) was to have her be naked on the bottom at home. We aren't home a ton, and I didn't sit home for this. Just when we were home, I took off her pants and diaper. She generally will not pee on the floor without warning. She would feel the urge and then she would sit on the potty. In the past, before she decided she was ready, she would cry when she felt the urge and beg me for a pull-up. She would sit on the potty but not go, just cry and keep begging for a pull up. So, I backed off. Note that this was after her 3rd bday as well. It was just about a month or so ago she decided to start using the potty and before that she had never peed on the potty.
I say if he's not ready, back off for a bit and don't push it. Trust me, he is not the only just turned 3 year old who isn't PTd. My DD goes to camp 3 days a week and I was worried but she was far from the only one in dipes/pull ups when she started. Now she is in panties for a few weeks now and there are still plenty of kids that are not there yet and there is no issue or shame with it at all! I still put her in a pull up for naps and nighttime. 90% of the time it is dry after a nap, but not always so we are sticking to it and she doesn't resist.

[lil_nance]

Time to bump this thread. DS is 39mo and not PT:(. He will pee on the potty but not poop. He can stay dry for a long time. He doesn't usually initiate going to the potty. I have to tell him to go try. He's in preschool 3mornings/week. I thought being around the other kids would help. Thus far it has made no difference and now he's the only one not PT. I'm beginning to feel like I'm not doing my job or doing something wrong. So frustrating. I'm thinking of making him go cold turkey from pull-ups to underwear later this week. He has worn underwear in the past with varied success but never for a full day. Am I crazy? Help!

[Brady]

lil-nance- I would go cold turkey. You know now that he knows *how* to do it, just seems to be choosing not to. My son (also a Connor, lol) is also as stubborn as all get out.. he'll hold it until the last possible second, and it makes me nuts. But, I had to train him the all or nothing method-- he was pee trained in 3 days (at 3 years 2 months)... but wasn't poop trained until 4 months later. With the poop, it was as frustrating as all get out, but one day he finally agreed to sit on the toilet, and that was that. I really thought the day would never come!

But yes, I would just put him in the underwear. It might be messy for a couple of days, but hopefully it will be worth it! ;) Hang in there.

Oh wait- I just reread your post! Sorry, I just realized he is completely pee trained. Unfortunetly, as you can see by my post, for us pooping just came down to him doing it on his own terms (as I'm sure you've heard a million times before)... I feel like I tried everything, but he wasn't going to do it until he was ready. I would put underwear on him, and he could have cared less (still pooped in them), but it's worth a try- for sure.

[PBKokiri]

Well that made me feel better to read that Connor did eventually poop train, Brady. :)

DS is 37 months old. He is about 90% pee trained, with an occasional accident in his pull-up. And he does that out of laziness and stubborness. I love my child, but that is the reason. He actually admits it. LOL When I ask why he didn't go, he says that he wanted to play.

He has pooped on the potty quite a few times, between 5 and 10. His ped actually suggested bribing him with a toy he really wanted to get him to poop. He waited a long time though, over a month, before he did it. He was really happy to get that toy!

He is in preschool two mornings a week, and I think he is the only one in pull-ups. They are working with him there, though, and he does pee there now. He will pee in public. He still doesn't initiate peeing as much as I ask him... BUT he is slowly improving. The other day when we were out to eat, he was having fun, then he came up to me and spontaneously said we should go home. I was bewildered, till I saw my Mom mouthing behind me to take him to the potty. LOL I did, he resisted, but he peed right away, and felt all better after.

I don't think my son has as much control over going poop, as he does over going pee. He LOVES his fruit, so his poops are pretty soft, so maybe he doesn't get as much warning? :confused: I dunno, I guess I am just waiting him out.

Glad to come here, though, and see some other Moms with the same problem. :)

[snoopy30]

Pooping has definitely been an issue for my DS (he's 35 months), he just won't go on the potty unless he literally can't hold it anymore. Granted we're in the earliest stages of potty training but nonetheless I can see this will be a challenge.

When should I expect my son to ask to be taken potty?
He will pee if we take him but doesn't ask to go or tell us hardly at all. It's only been a few weeks so I know it's early but I just wonder how this should all progress.

[Traciann]

snoopy dd has only been potty trained for a couple of months, but the only time she tells us she has to go potty is when we are not at home. I do make her go before we leave somewhere, also if I notice she hasn't gone in a while. Now she pretty much goes on her own without telling us.

[marchfamily]

If it makes anyone feel better....my almost 4 year old is still not PT (3Y, 8M). My 2.5 year old is suddenly deathly afraid of the potty. 3 in diapers.....oh, how I wish someone would PT in my house.

[Ellyn]

Ugh! Count me in too. DS is 3yr 2mo and has no interest. Last spring we were doing awesome...except for the fact that he'd never tell us and we were the ones that were trained. He all of a sudden stopped going on the potty completely. We've tried everything:
Big boy underwear and rubber pants (he went through 5 pairs in 2 hours and could care less)
treats
sticker chart
little toys
Potty Power
etc
etc

So we're in the ignoring stage and hoping he'll "get it" on his own one of these days. ;)

[lil_nance]

I am so glad I bumped this thread. I know we not alone but it feels like it sometimes so it's good to hear from all of you. For anyone interested, I found a site with a lot of printable potty charts. http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/toilettrainingcharts.htm I'm going to let Connor choose which one he wants, hopefully that will help. My plan is cold turkey to underwear after nap tomorrow. He has preschool in the morning so I'll tell the teachers my plan so they are on board for Mon. It's a great school and I think they'll be fine working with me. Wish us luck.

[Eliezrah]

Hi everyone. I haven't read through the rest of this thread yet but we're actively trying to train DS1 (just turned 3 a month ago) so I figured I'd pop in. We were in the fully child led camp (just waiting for him to tell us he wants to go like DD did and she trained herself in 2 days at 3.5 years) until his teacher said something to me the other day. They don't need to be trained in the 3s class in his school, but his teacher seemed upset that he pooped in his pull up and pretty much told me we have to train him by making him wear undies around the house. She made it sound like we had to force him, which we are against since it backfired with DD and made her not want to have anything to do with the potty for months.

Anyway, I spoke to our ped who agrees with us on waiting for him to let us know and then I spoke with another mom is DS1's class. She's an OT and has worked with potty training kids before and is closer to our child led camp than the teacher, but also feels that a little guidance is ok. I wanted to share with you the idea she gave me, which seems to be working so far although we've only just tarted it this morning...

We made a Potty Box!! I took an old Amazon box and found pictures of kids sitting on the potty online that I printed. I let him glue the pictures anywhere on the box he wanted and then he put stickers and other stuff to decorate it. Then I let him pick out some toys to go in the box (you can buy some new ones form the $ store if you want) and I told him he can only play with the toys when he's sitting on the potty. If he's not on the potty, then he can't play with the toys.

He was so excited about playing with the toys he couldn't wait to sit on the potty!! before this, he wouldn't always want to sit and try. Our problem is that he doesn't WANT to but he CAN. He trained himself in 3 days over the summer but then pooped in his undies and was constipated for almost 2 months. That scared him out of going, so we're pretty much back at square one.

[lil_nance]

Well, I put Connor in undies after nap yesterday (Fri.) and so far so good. I printed a potty chart and got Cars stickers. 1 sticker for pee, 2 for poop. For 5 stickers he gets a prize ($ store stuff). He was dry all day except nap when he wet his pull-up. He was going to the potty every 10min. just to get stickers. :rolleyes: 12 times total today (maybe more). Sometimes it's just a dribble but I'm not complaining. He did not poop though and that has me a bit concerned. He normally goes 1-3 times/day. Tomorrow we go to church and I'm nervous but guess I'll just pack a few extra outfits and hope for the best. The kid is beside himself with excitement about the stickers. Wish I would have done it earlier. I just didn't think it would motivate him since we often have stickers around the house and they aren't really a treat.

[Eliezrah]

Seth's Potty Box went over great in the am but after we put his pull up on for nap, he didn't want undies again. I think his "problem" over the summer freaked him out and he just doesn't want to. We're going to keep telling him to wear his undies when we're home but we're definitely not going to force anything.

[Kelly's Girl]

My DS turned 3 about two weeks ago. He has zero interest in PT. Won't go at home, doesn't have any indication or clue where the pee comes from when I let him go w/o pullups and he pees on himself, and gets emphatic and angry when I try to get him to get on the potty.

He'll go at school, so I'm told, but not at home. M&Ms as rewards aren't doing much to encourage him. I'm due in April and I am afraid if he does make progress (and I sure hope he does!) that he'll regress.

Commiserating right there with ya.

[lil_nance]

Today's update. Sorry if this is all TMI. Things went so so. As suspected, his lack of "regularity" yesterday became an issue today. He pooped and wet his underwear right after getting dressed for church. :mad: After a pants change, he did stay dry thru church. Yeah. But he had 2 more poop accidents later in the day. The final one he decided to take care of himself. He went to the bathroom and when I asked what he was doing, he told me he'd pooped his underwear but he put the poop in the potty. He even used toilet paper. Not great but at least he was heading in the right direction. I wish I knew some magic way for him to get this. It's frustrating when he says "It's ok mommy. You can was my underwear." He just doesn't see anything wrong with soiling them.

[Eliezrah]

We were at a friend's house last night and they have a potty that doesn't just sit on the big one, it's one of the ones that can be moved around and used as a step stool as well. Anyway, DS1 saw it and got VERY excited and went on it there! He even took it out of the bathroom and ran to us to show us! This morning he said he doesn't want to wear his undies since he's not going until we get him a potty like his friend D's. I can't find the same exact one (it was her older sister's) but I found 3 for a reasonable price on Amazon and I guess I'll let him pick which he likes.

Anyone have any input on any of these? I really don't want to pay shipping so I only looked for those available with Amazon Prime...
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31W3RR80R5L._SL500_AA280_.jpg Fisher-Price Royal Potty Step Stool
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31NpSunqInL._SL500_AA280_.jpg Safety 1st Smart Rewards Potty
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31wacnyUjWL._SL500_AA280_.jpg Fisher-Price My Potty Buddy - White/Blue

[kindermom]

We have the top one. It is a potty. Really no different from any of the other 3 we have. The only thing I find is that it plays music randomly sometimes. So I will hear it going off in the bathroom.

[Eliezrah]

Thanks. I showed him the 3 online and he picked the top one. It turns out, it's the updated version of the one he used at our friend's and he swears he'll use it so we're getting it tomorrow!

[Eliezrah]

So, guess who went ALL DAY yesterday (even nap time) w/o wearing pull ups?! He was so excited when we got home from dropping DD off at school that he asked me to get a garbage bag so he could throw out his pull ups!!! (of course the bag is hiding in the dining room and I'll put them away for DS2). He started to pee a tiny bit during nap but he woke up, held it in, and finished in the potty!! He said he wanted to "be potty trained at school too" but I wasn't sure if the teacher wanted me to bring him in pull ups or undies so I did pull ups and sent in 2 extra pairs of undies, pants and socks just in case. She said she'd change him to his undies and that we should not do pull ups anymore at all. According to the teacher, if he was able to do it one day then he can do it. So that's it! No more pull ups (he thinks they are gone anyway!) except for nighttime. The new potty we got him seemed to do the trick, but he doesn't use it for a potty, he just uses the step stool part! LOL Hey, whatever works, right?!

He did tell me he's afraid to poop in the potty since he thinks it'll hurt, so I'm praying we don't have a repeat of what happened over the summer.. he did try a few times yesterday, so that's good!

[Eliezrah]

WE'RE POTTY TRAINED!!! Wow if I knew all it would take was getting him the same potty his friend had, I would have done that a while ago! We left the house for over 3 hours today and he's in the same pair of DRY undies!! The pull ups were all packed away for DS2 (DS1 thinks they were thrown out) and the changing pad was removed from his dresser! YIPPEEE!!

[lil_nance]

We're still having some accidents mainly with #2. BUT...we're having some successes too. Friday I forgot to put him in a pull-up for nap and he stayed dry. Today he pooped in the potty!!!! Woohoo!!! I am beyond excited about the last one. He seemed pretty excited too so I hope we're heading in the right direction.

Meanwhile DD who's only 19mo and not really verbal yet is expressing an interest. Ugh, as much as I want her trained, I am so not doing it yet. Her b-day in April is plenty early enough and better weather for it too. ;)

[Eliezrah]

Any tips on how to get DS1 to get over his fear of pooping in the potty? He held it in all day yesterday, even in pain, and waited until we put on his pull up for bedtime. He stays dry during naps but asked for his pull up today, I think he was afraid he'd poop in his undies. He knows when he has to go, he just seems afraid to do it in the potty....

[lil_nance]

We have success!!!! Last Thurs. I nearly had a breakdown after dealing with 3 accidents before noon. Well, mommy being upset that much or something must have clicked. We had a dry weekend and he pooped in the potty multiple times. Woohoo!! Need to work on getting him to completely eliminate when going #2. Right now I get multiple small trips but I'm not complaining. He was even dry while we did errands yesterday. I am beyond happy. I honestly was beginning to wonder if this day would ever come. Hope I'm not jinxing myself and this lasts.

[PBKokiri]

We are having major success here, too.

He had been with his Grandpa one evening, and Grandpa forgot to take some extra pull-ups with him. It got wet, so he took it off, and just left Bailey bare from the waist down. He told him about it, and just stressed that he did not have a diaper. Amazingly, he ran to him saying that he had to go potty, which he has only done like ONCE before.

This made me decide to just go for it. I knew he had no preschool last Tuesday, because of Veteran's Day, so I took his diaper off in the AM, and told him no more diapers. He was ok with it. He ran around naked for like three days. It was a bit nervewracking, but he had SO MUCH success. He pooped in the potty on his own, and peed. He had a few accidents, but less and less. We are now in undies full time, except night time. His first day back at school, he had an accident, but yesterday he stayed dry! We are doing awesome, I swear, I thought this day would never come! He tells me his is potty trained, that he doesn't need diapers anymore. Yay!

Yesterday he was fully dressed, and he came to me to say he had to go potty. I took him, and he went POOP! That is so neat because previously he had only done it from underwear only, or naked. Yay!

So I think we are *tentatively* potty-trained!

[Eliezrah]

Seth's been asking to sleep in his underwear at night. He wakes up almost every morning dry so we're pretty sure he can do it (his sister night trained within a few weeks of day training as well), but we told him he has to poop in the potty first. He still only poops at night once his pull ups are on. He stays perfectly dry during the day, though, so we're totally happy!