Tell me about La Leche League meetings...

[Alanna]

We have a chapter that meets very close to my house.. they say on their website that pregnant women are welcome... im not sure what goes on in the meetings though... would it be heplful to a pregnant woman hoping to breastfeed? i am really hoping hoping to breastfeed... Id like to take advantage of any helpful resources available... but i dont want to go to soemthing that really isnt helpful at this stage.... tell me what you think...

[Marisa]

YES!!!!

I was just at our meeting last night, and there was a mama-to-be -- who was 41 weeks! It was her first meeting, and she had some great questions that were answered really thoroughly by the Leaders and some members.

In my opinion, in order to really succeed at breastfeeding, the average woman needs plenty of support, and the more people you can surround yourself with who can give you advice or a shoulder to cry on if and when you're struggling, the better off you are. Plus you'll get to meet your Leader(s) so you'll know who you're talking to if you do need their assistance after your baby is born.

Besides, it's just a really really nice way to meet other moms in your area, and after the "official" part of the meeting there's always some social time where you can chitchat about anything -- good pediatricians, where the best playgrounds/playgroups are, etc.

The typical group will run a cycle of four meetings, on different topics, so it "repeats" 3 times a year (though they always try to approach the topics in different ways). Some of the possibilities include nighttime parenting, starting solids, gentle discipline... and the fourth is "Getting Started". So yes, I think it will definitely be relevant to you! :)

[curlywig]

FWIW, I didn't go to LLL meetings when I was PG, even though I planned to BF. Unfortunately, BF'ing didn't work for us, despite my best efforts. If we have a #2, I'll FER SURE be going to LLL meetings once pregnant. I think it's good to be around BF'ing women to get more comfortable with it, to hear issues others encounter (so you know if you have them, they are normal, and workable), and for the support.

Just my .02 worth. :)

[Mickey&B]

Thanks for asking this question. I'm 39 weeks now and I have been debating going to LLL meeting as well. I took the BFing class, and have been reading along in the BFing thread but I still feel like I need more reassurance that I will be successful.

[mkvh]

After attending my first LLL meeting, I am looking for honest feedback from all types of BF moms regarding their LLL experiences, both positive and negative.

I enjoyed the meeting I attended, particularly the interaction with other newer moms. And the advice from the experienced moms and leaders was great. However, I was a bit disappointed at the homogeneity of the group regarding parenting styles (they were very pro-attachment parenting which just isn't my style). Worse, a friend with whom I went felt excluded by the group because she has had to supplement from the get-go due to an inability to produce enough milk. I guess I was hoping for a more supportive environment overall.

Do you find the LLL meetings you have attended to be welcoming of all "styles" of BF moms? Of all parenting styles? Is this just an issue with a particular chapter or representative of LLL meetings in general?

[lml41981]

I've been to one enrichment meeting and one regular meeting. I liked the women I met with, but I guess they weren't too interested in having me at their meetings! :p They said they have a woman whose job is to call everyone who signed in and remind them of upcoming meetings. I have never gotten a call, so I don't remember about the meetings. Sure would be nice to return that book they loaned me, though, so maybe I need to set up a cell-phone reminder.

I didn't like how disorganized the meetings were. Everyone was talking over everyone else. The two pg women at the meeting I went to were very overwhelmed by the crowd and everyone speaking at once.

One of the leaders is an IBCLC, which was really cool. She set up a side area and would check latch and offer pointers for people for free. If DD had been a newborn, I totally would have taken advantage of that!

One thing I didn't like was that I had received a letter in the mail in response to a request for more complete breastfeeding-in-public protection. The state rep for my county stated in the letter that she did not support NIP and that a mother ought to seek out a private place to nurse. The LLL who is an IBCLC read the letter and said, "I completely agree with this letter. I mean, she could have stated it better, but I agree with the content. The least a woman could do is use a blanket or something." I was extremely disappointed by that. She then launched into an anecdote about a time she was at Denny's with a woman who hiked up her dress above her head, exposing both breasts while her 5 year old alternated back and forth from breast to breast.

This particular group did seem to have women who parent in different ways. It was also sort of racially diverse, although it was by and large predominately white.

[ThreeYell]

I'm a LLL member and have been going to meetings since DS was born. I would have started going while still pregnant but I couldn't because of work. There are always one or two pregnant moms in our meetings and I think that if nothing else, it can help you get your mind around BF before you start. I don't know of many places other than LLL where someone will encourage you to watch them nurse and ask questions. It can also let you get to know the leaders so you can find one you click best with, if you need to call for help after the baby is born.

As far as uniformity of parenting styles, my group is a pretty good mix as far as LLL goes. There are some super-AP moms. There are people like me who are quite mainstream. In fact, I was disappointed to get bumped out of my most-mainstream-member title when a girl started showing up wearing Pi Phi flip-flops. ;) I get a bit frustrated when the discussion turns to topics like vaxing or CIO, especially when a leader speaks with authority and doesn't get her facts straight. Most of our leaders are really good about NOT giving non-BF advice but one likes to go off on a variety of subjects not related to BF. I have a well-developed filter and ignore 90% of what she says but I worry about the newest moms thinking that because she's a leader, she always knows what she's talking about.

In general, I enjoy the meetings and all of the other activities/information I get from the group. I like the people and I want to support the work of LLL.

[mkvh]

I want to support the work of LLL.

I think LLL's mission is important and very vital for a lot of BF moms. That's why it made me a bit sad--I think the moms who would benefit most from attending would feel a bit excluded by this particular chapter. (And rumor has it one of the other area chapters is worse!)

[Katie]

I've been attending LLL since DS was born (he's 18 months now) - I go to both the group and enrichment meetings. Our leaders (we have two) are great about honoring different parentig styles, supplementing, etc. We do have some very pro AP moms, but as a PP said there are more mainstream parents too. I feel lucky in that we are all respected with whatever choices we make.

The meetings do get hectic, but I think that's to be expected with so many moms and babies/toddlers.

For me it's been a great place to get info, meet other moms and to get support as I now am starting to get comments on nursing my toddler son.

[Marisa]

One thing that's important to remember about LLL is that on the local level, it's pretty much "staffed" by volunteers -- moms who have been through a year or two of training. There are some pretty specific guidelines as far as what should and shouldn't be talked about at meetings -- LLL's mission is about *breastfeeding*, not attachment parenting, so they tend *not* to go into such things unless it's beneficial to the breastfeeding relationship (which, for example, cosleeping can be, esp. in early months).

Breastfeeding is still seen as sort of 'crunchy' by most of our society, though, so you'll probably find that the attendees skew toward that demographic a bit. :)

My own group tends to have a fairly diverse demographic. Our county in general has a large range of ethnicities, but it's also because we're in a wealthy town that's bordered by several much less wealthy towns, and we meet in the evening so we see a lot more working moms with different approaches to parenting. We had a mom coming in for a while who pumped exclusively and gave bottles of EBM and some formula, that's where she was comfortable with her BFing relationship. And that was cool.

I would seriously urge every one of you, if you've had a negative experience with a Leader in your area, take the time to jot down a quick email and send it off to a district supervisor. This is the general help email for LLL -- llli@llli.org -- but try to be as specific as possible with details so it can be forwarded to the correct person. Sometimes a Leader will let her personal beliefs cross over into her work, like in LML's situation -- that's a no-no and someone should be told. In my experience many of these women have been working with LLL for a number of years, and perhaps they could use a refresher chat with a supervisor, KWIM?

[Sophia]

I went to a LLL meeting when I was pg with Bella, so it's been over 11 years. However, that experience was so disappointing and negative that I never went back (and ended up having a failed BF relationship with Bella), and I never even considered going while I was pregnant with Lili. The group seemed very small (there were about 7 of us), not diverse at all, and there were things said that really bothered me (such as one women who was explaining that BFing was so easy she often BF her baby while driving :eek: ). My overall impression was that they weren't women I had anything in common with or that I'd like to hang out with. I was really disappointed because one of my HS friends had been very involved in LLL in the area where she'd relocated and had eventually become a LLL leader. The group in my area didn't seem anything like her group at all.

[Franni]

Like many have said here, LLL experiences will vary based on the group that you are in. Although breastfeeding teaching/support is the main goal, local leaders can talk about whatever they want unless some calls them on it. It also depends on the constitution of the group. The group that I went to were fairly affluent (definitely upper middle class, working professionals, some have decided to SAH but you could tell that everyone in the room were very well-educated). Parenting styles never came up in the meetings that I attended.

One of the women that I met in the evening meeting (geared towards WOHM) was someone who really could not produce enough milk despite being on several medications to help. She spoke about her experiences and she was accepted by the group. I still think of her fondly and consider her absolutely courageous for speaking out for those who tried but really couldn't make it work.

[ThreeYell]

I'd also encourage people to give a group a couple of chances. Ours varies greatly depending on who's leading, who's there, whether it's summer and the older kids are running around screaming, whether we have lots of new moms with newborns, etc. I'd say that only about half the moms are members or regular attendees at any given meeting. The other half are new people or people we only see once in a blue moon. Every meeting is different so try not to get discouraged if your first meeting isn't what you hoped.

[jennylou]

I haven't been to an LLL meeting, but I do go to a BF support group. It's run through our hospital. We have one IBCLC and one who took the test and is waiting for the results (I guess they come out in Oct). Anyways, you might want to check into the local hospitals to see if they offer something like this. It has been a great support for me. We go every week and have Nora weighed, so we know that she's gaining and thriving. In addition, they will do post feed weighs if you want to know how much baby is getting in one session. There's usually not any lesson or anything, moms just sit around chit chatting about babies and the two staff members are there for any questions that come up.

And unlike Marisa, are group isn't completely crunchy. :D It's great to see a bunch of varying mommas in one group. We have crunchy mommas, non crunchy mommas, just a good mix.

Also, no one really looks down if you have to supplement. The LC's have even been known to bring out the little tubes that connect to the breasts that feed formula but also stimulate BM (what are those called?).

A support group is really important, so whether it's through the LLL or through some other organization, it's great to get involved in one. :)

[lil_nance]

I liked my LLL group for the BFing support. It was nice to be able to compare situations and discuss possible solutions. Our group was fairly homogenous and a bit on the crunchy side for my tastes. I often felt a little bit of an outsider. What disappointed me was the response I got when I expressed my desire to start weaning. We were planning on TTC#2 at 9mo (delayed until 12mo but that's another story). At 6mo (my goal) I mentioned I was considering weaning. The leader seemed to be very against that. I know you can tandem nurse (a woman in our group was doing it) but due to pg complications with DS, I didn't want to do that. She gave me a book on weaning that was quite helpful. However, I still felt very judged and stopped going shortly after that.

That said, I do plan on renewing my membership. I believe in the support LLL provides. Baby #2 is due in April and I will most likely go back to meetings around that time. I found them helpful in the beginning just not the end.

[NYN]

I'm sorry that so many of you have had negative experiences with LLL. I agree that some leaders could really benefit from a refresher course. At the very least they most definitely aren't supposed to influence the group with personal experiences or biases. They are there to offer information based on the most current research. HOWEVER....things like weaning, CIO, premature introduction of solids, etc...things that we would consider "mainstream," these things are not a part of LLL Philosophy (http://www.lalecheleague.org/philosophy.html). i just point that out b/c i often hear people say "well, she was really judgemental with me when I mentioned that I am night-weaning my 4-month-old and doing CIO on her." Well, I think that if you want to do these things and are comfortable with it, that is fine, but there is an entire world of pro-CIO parents out there for you to find and no, you aren't going to find support for that at an LLL meeting. (I am just using CIO as an example btw).

I think that if you are planning on weaning a 6-month-old and you tell your leader and she offers you information on tandem nursing -- I don't consider that judgmental or unsupportive, I consider it the opposite. She is doing what she is supposed to...offering you information. You, lil-nance, are informed but that is not to say that someone else who had no idea that you can continue to breastfeed while pregnant wouldn't benefit from this information. That said, no leader should make you feel judged and I'm sorry if you felt that way.

As for our area, we have three meetings a month in three different neighborhoods. I am very involved with the group and am even the librarian for the working moms meeting. I think we have a very good mix of mainstream and non-mainstream parents and I think our leaders do a very good job of making everyone feel included