3 YO won't sleep in room by herself

[jen71]

My DD will be 4 in July. For a long time now, she will not sleep in her room by herself. One of us will stay while she falls asleep. If we manage to stay awake, we will leave, but if she wakes up, she comes in our room, gets DH, & he goes back to her room. She does not cry, or carry on, she falls right back to sleep. But, I do not know how to stop this.
We have a 2 YO also, so we wanted to keep the house quiet when this all started so we never tried to stop it for fear of her carrying on. When i ask her about it, she says noises outside scare her. SHe has music playing quiet. She is in a toddler bed, & actually uses her FP aquarium to put herself to sleep, or if the house is noisy in the morning & she wants to stay in bed, or hears something outside, she puts it on & falls back to sleep.We have a twin bed in her room also, that we use, it has always been in her room, we used it as a changing table.

Any suggestions? I have tried everything I can think of aside from refusing to stay. If she is truly afraid, I cannot imagine not staying. I would like her to switch to the bed, but then we will be on the floor!

[vjel]

does she have a special lovey she sleeps with? night light? turn up the music a bit louder to drown out potential noises? Did this start when she moved to a toddler bed, before, or after? what about sharing a room w/ your 2yo?

[Sevilla]

I think that's pretty normal for many kids - does she share a room with the 2 year old? That can help with them not wanting to be alone.

Otherwise, I would put a sleeping bag and pillow on the floor in your room and let her sleep there when she wakes up. As she gets older and enters school in the next year or two her desire to sleep in her own room should increase since she'll hear friends talking about it.

HTH :).

[jen71]

Hi, it does help especially in the sense that at least it is normal!

She does have a night light, & it is quite bright. I even tried changing it thinking it was too bright, & she did not go for that! I tried a sound machine & she hates that! I did it one night when she was already asleep, & she woke up screaming. I use it in my room & she makes me turn it off. Honestly, it is not like we live someplace loud, but I think she can hear thecars outside now & again, & a few people have louder cars down the street, we live on the corner where they tend to slow down, other than that it is not that loud!
I have thought about her & my son sharing a room before, & I think it might work, but my husband thinks I am crazy, but at 4am this morning I walked in there & he was asleep on the floor & she was in the bed, so he may be more willing to try something now.
Thanks again, I appreciate it, at least I know we are not doing something wrong.