Anyone else not do Valentines Day and wish they did?

[Chelsea524]

DH and I don't do Valentines Day. Mainly because DH sees it as just another way Halmark and all the retail stores get money out of us and because showing that you love each other should be an everyday thing and not something that you need a special day for. While I agree with all of that and in the beginning of our relationship I was fine with it, lately it sucks. We are an old married couple now, 5 1/2 years, with kids and don't take the time to do little things for each other. The romance is gone for the most part because we are just to busy. Don't get me wrong, we are still very much in love but its been forever since we had a real date, bought little gifts for each other just because or anything else like that. Is anyone else in the same situation? DH is going down to Vegas over Vday with some friends and didn't even give it a second thought that he'll be gone for Vday.

[suzfuzsunflower]

Mainly because DH sees it as just another way Halmark and all the retail stores get money out of us and because showing that you love each other should be an everyday thing and not something that you need a special day for.

My husband says the same thing. We either go out to eat, or order food in, but nothing else. No gifts, cards, flowers, etc.

[GroceryStoreWine]

My SIL was just remarking that her 4 year old is really excited for Valentines day. She thinks the child is expecting V-day to be like Christmas full of candy, presents and lots of attention. So I told her that she has the opportunity to do just that, make V-day this "awesome" event. With three children and a hefty workload she doesn't plan to do so. :D

I'm like you, we don't plan special dinners out, get extravagant gifts, etc. We went out one night and couldn't believe how busy all the restuarants were. Only later did it dawn on us that it was V-day. :rolleyes: I don't really want the big buildup to V-day but it would be nice to make the day special somehow, just because.

[Ericka_Jarett]

Hallmark holiday. We usually just have dinner at home. I have a dr appt the day after so going to see if my mom will watch the kids during and after the appt so DH and I can go and use a gift certificate we have for a restaurant, we have taken Easton too before, but would be nice just us this time

[ManteoChik]

Kind of. Its not that we don't celebrate it because we think its a "hallmark holiday" but more because BF is usually out of town. His job requires him to travel, and he's usually in a warm climate all winter long. It sucks, but he gets paid to be there and I usually get a free trip out of it..lol.

He usually sends me flowers. We haven't spent a Valentines day together in about 4 years...maybe even longer. I agree, even though we're not married - after 8 years together the romance is somewhat lacking. He used to be very sweet...cooking me a special Valentines dinner and doing other nice things.

Last year I was flying to Mexico to meet up with him (he is in Mexico from mid-January through early March) for one of my trips. I was flying out the morning of the 14th...only there was a winter ice storm and my flight was cancelled. I couldn't get another flight and had to wait a whole week...so much for our first Valentines together in years..lol.

[Happy1]

We don't do as much as some couples do. Mainly because we both hate crowds and having to wait in line at restaurants. So ever since we started dating (in 2000) and into our marriage (5 1/2 years now), we've been doing the same thing on Valentine's Day-tomato soup, grilled cheese, sparkling grape juice and brownies. We'll exchange a card and that's it.

Some people think we're bah humbugs but this is just a little opportunity for us to share a moment without spending a huge amount of money. We do both believe love is shared every day but sometimes you need special moments throughout the year to just stop and say "Hey-I think you're special."

Nikki :D

[NotDesperate]

Meh....


nah

[ambula704]

My DH and I do celebrate Valentines Day, but maybe a solution for some of you would be to MAKE something special for each other to celebrate? Homemade cards, crafts, dinners, etc show the other person that you dont support the Hallmark hoopla but do still want to celebrate your love!

For my husband, he rarely cooks dinner...so he makes me dinner that night. No, it doesnt cost a bunch and we dont get dressed up, but it is so special because it was made by him. I try to make things to save money...love coupons or some other craft. I think it means more because its NOT from Hallmark!

[Anna Low]

I tend to buy DH some little trinket (a cd or something similar) and a card. He always gets me a card. Plus, that time of the year is near his birthday, so we usually take a mini-trip and have a nice dinner out then.

[maplekitty]

¡ʎqqnɥ ʎɯ s,ʇɐɥʇ ʇnq 'ʎuɹoɔ ˙ɹɐǝʎ ɥɔɐǝ pɹɐɔ ʇɟıƃ ʎuɐdɯoɔ ʎɯ ʇıɐʍɐ ʎlpǝʇıɔxǝ ı ʍou puɐ ˙ʇı uo oƃol ʎuɐdɯoɔ ǝɥʇ ɥʇıʍ 'doɥs ʇɟıƃ ǝɥʇ ɯoɹɟ ǝuo ǝɯ ʎnq pıp ʎllɐnʇɔɐ ǝɥ sǝuıʇuǝlɐʌ ɹoɟ ɹɐǝʎ ǝuo os ˙doɥs ʇɟıƃ s,ʞɹoʍ sıɥ ɯoɹɟ pɹɐɔ ɐ ʎnq oʇ ƃuıʌɐɥ dn puǝ llıʍ puɐ spɹɐɔ lɐıɔǝds ǝɯ ʎnq oʇ sɹǝqɯǝɯǝɹ ɹǝʌǝu ǝɥ ʇɐɥʇ ʎqqnɥ ɥʇıʍ ǝʞoɾ ƃuıuunɹ ɐ ǝʌɐɥ ʎllɐnʇɔɐ ı
¡spɹɐɔ sǝuıʇuǝlɐʌ ʎnq ı ʇɐɥʇ ǝʇɐıɹdoɹddɐ ʍoɥ os 'uǝʇ sı pɹɐɔ ʇxǝu ʎɯ puɐ - "pɹɐɔ ǝǝɹɟ ǝuo ʇǝƃ 01 ʎnq" ʞɹɐɯllɐɥ ɐ ǝʌɐɥ ı 'ʇɔɐɟ uı ˙spɹɐɔ ʞɹɐɯllɐɥ ǝʌol oslɐ ı ¡"sʎɐpıloɥ ʞɹɐɯllɐɥ" ǝʌol ı

[NotDesperate]

Oh please stop with the boxes! Not all of us can read that upside down and only see boxes instead and its not that funny anymore..... :rolleyes:

[maplekitty]

... ;)

[NotDesperate]

You know you are just driving me nuts since I want to know what you are saying! :confused: :eek: :p

[Gatsby]

I actually agree with the OP's husband... and sort of forget that Vday even exists until it's thrown in my face everywhere I turn. Plus, it encompasses some of my least favorite things: hearts, lace, pink, and mooshiness :p

[PG-rated]

We usually do something at home, just the two of us. I agree that going out is usually more trouble than it's worth, but it's a good opportunity to take some time to be together, and there are plenty of ways of doing that without buying something overpriced.

[tinkerbelljenny]

My Dh doesn't really celebrate any holidays by choice but he will be buying me this nice necklace I found recently, he doesn't know yet but he will soon. :D

[Fenway]

Kind of. Its not that we don't celebrate it because we think its a "hallmark holiday" but more because BF is usually out of town. His job requires him to travel, and he's usually in a warm climate all winter long. It sucks, but he gets paid to be there and I usually get a free trip out of it..lol.

He usually sends me flowers. We haven't spent a Valentines day together in about 4 years...maybe even longer. I agree, even though we're not married - after 8 years together the romance is somewhat lacking. He used to be very sweet...cooking me a special Valentines dinner and doing other nice things.

Last year I was flying to Mexico to meet up with him (he is in Mexico from mid-January through early March) for one of my trips. I was flying out the morning of the 14th...only there was a winter ice storm and my flight was cancelled. I couldn't get another flight and had to wait a whole week...so much for our first Valentines together in years..lol.

Bolding Mine.

My situation is very similar. The only vamentines day we've spent together was one year, before we were married, I flew out to his job location to suprise him.

It isn't that I wish we did more. It's just a little depressing when everyone is doing couple things while I'm home alone and DH is cooped up in a hotel room alone. Even if we didn't do anything to celebrate it, it still would be nicer to have him home. KWIM?

�ʎqqnɥ ʎɯ s,ʇ�ɥʇ ʇnq 'ʎuɹoɔ ˙ɹ��ʎ ɥɔ�� pɹ�ɔ ʇɟıƃ ʎu�dɯoɔ ʎɯ ʇı��� ʎlp�ʇıɔx� ı �ou pu� ˙ʇı uo oƃol ʎu�dɯoɔ �ɥʇ ɥʇı� 'doɥs ʇɟıƃ �ɥʇ ɯoɹɟ �uo �ɯ ʎnq pıp ʎll�nʇɔ� �ɥ s�uıʇu�l�ʌ ɹoɟ ɹ��ʎ �uo os ˙doɥs ʇɟıƃ s,ʞɹo� sıɥ ɯoɹɟ pɹ�ɔ � ʎnq oʇ ƃuıʌ�ɥ dn pu� llı� pu� spɹ�ɔ ll�ıɔ�ds �ɯ ʎnq oʇ sɹ�qɯ�ɯ�ɹ ɹ�ʌ�u �ɥ ʇ�ɥʇ ʎqqnɥ ɥʇı� �ʞoɾ ƃuıuunɹ � �ʌ�ɥ ʎll�nʇɔ� ı
�spɹ�ɔ s�uıʇu�l�ʌ ʎnq ı ʇ�ɥʇ �ʇ�ıɹdoɹdd� �oɥ os 'u�ʇ sı pɹ�ɔ ʇx�u ʎɯ pu� - "pɹ�ɔ ��ɹɟ �uo ʇ�ƃ 01 ʎnq" ʞɹ�ɯll�ɥ � �ʌ�ɥ ı 'ʇɔ�ɟ uı ˙spɹ�ɔ ʞɹ�ɯll�ɥ �ʌol osl� ı �"sʎ�pıloɥ ʞɹ�ɯll�ɥ" �ʌol ı

I'm getting surprisingly good at reading that. LOL :p

[laura]

We are hit or miss. Sometimes we use it as an "excuse" to go out to a fancy dinner, sometimes we stay home and cook a nice dinner. Sometimes we stay home, lounge on the couch and eat take out in our PJs - whatever works for that particular year. I am probably more like the OP's husband in that I tell my husband not to bother spending $$$$ on flowers, but he always does anyway. We aren't super into it, but we can all use a reminder to appreciate each other every now and again.

[AHammer]

We don't do anything special. DH usually buys me a card even though I tell him he doesn't need to!

[bug]

Growing up, I thought that the BEST thing ever to get on Valentine's Day was a heart shaped box of chocolates. I told DH this years ago, and that is usually what he gets me (Best ever was the edible chocolate shaped box with the truffles in it). We usually are low key, we stay home, maybe eat something special for dinner, and we exchange a HALLMARK card (we care enough to send the very best ;).)

Secretly, I'd LOVE to get the big bouquet of roses at work and have all the women I work with be a bit envious--but then I'd spoil it for myself by thinking of all the other ways I could have spent that money!

Overall yes, I think it is a commercial holiday that can make single people feel bad if they are not in a relationship (it did me when I was single, I used to wear black in protest) and that it inherently is designed to separate men from their money. But, I still like my box of chocolates! :)

[keska]

DH doesn't do Valentine's Day but I wish he'd do a little something like a card or flowers.

[miaclear]

DH and I stopped celebrating Valentines day a few years back. I had bought him a gift that was fairly expensive and there was a chance it would need to be returned. Valentines Day was too late to return it so we celebrated Groundhogs Day that year. Since then we skip VDay and always celebrate Groundhogs. I love having our own holiday.

Even still we don't do a whole lot. Flowers, dinner, a card, simple stuff.

[shoegal]

The guy that I was dating a couple of years ago celebrated Valentine's Day with a twist. Since I am such a foodie, we would pick a style of food and cook it together. We did sushi one year, traditional fahitas another year and the last year we were together we attempted a New York pizza (but I really think the NYC water is what makes the pizza). We would do small gifts, rent a movie and spend the evening together. It was nice since we didn't have to deal with the hustle and bustle of the restaurants.

If I ever date again, I think I want to do this again because I really enjoyed challenging myself in the cooking department. Although I might skip the sushi next time, that is difficult!!!

[emmasart]

We do celebrate valentines day, but I never expect anything fancy. I just enjoy the knowing that DH thinks of me.. However he chooses to show it: A fancy dinner, or a homemade card, breakfast in bed or whatever.

When I was a kid I always enjoyed showing love for my friends with homemade valentines day cards. Even up until up past high school, I love making and sending Valentines day hearts made out of construction paper, glitter and paper lace... Call me a geek or whatever. I get the whole not wanting to give money to corporate companies by buying their cards and boxes of chocolate, but I'm really into showing my affection.

I just enjoy showing my love, and I really enjoy it when others do the same to me. For that reason I'd be totally bummed if DH totally ignored the holiday, or never did any special "little things". That would just not work for me in a relationship.

[j*east]

Our celebration has dwindled over the years...the first V-Day (we were 3000 miles apart) I sent him a series of cards and he gave me a necklace. That by far is the most extravagant thing we've done. Typically we exchange cards (sometimes homemade ones) and/or try to make a nice dinner. We rarely go out on V Day. For me, a sappy card (that he writes something sappy on) is the best gift for any occasion.

For whatever reason I'm thinking I want flowers this year, so I've mentioned that. The biggest thing we learned in couple's counseling is to talk about our expectations for birthdays, holidays, etc. ahead of time, to avoid inadvertently pissing each other off. So if I want something to change, I just bring it up.

Sure, it's a Hallmark holiday, but it's a nice reminder just to celebrate a little bit, and DH and I need that reminder sometimes.

[Missy2U]

We kind of do Valentine's Day and kind of don't.

We have a card that we keep pinned on the wall in our living room (hey - don't laugh - you should SEE our living room - for one thing, my husband has a horse (http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a203/Missy2U_/Ceiling.jpg) on our ceiling inside a compass and it only gets - er - more "decorated" than that!) and we resign it each year with a new "personal" note to each other rather than purchase new cards each year. Some years I'll make a special dinner, some years I don't - it all depends on how we're feeling and how flush our bank account is. Sometimes we just aren't into it - but I remember one year, I was particularly down due to job issues and money issues and on Valentine's Day, got a call at work that my husband was downstairs - I went down, and there he was with a dozen roses - he had saved up change for a month for these (he wasn't working at the time) just to cheer me up. That was probably the best Valentine's Day ever!

I love that man.

Usually. ;)

[phoenics]

I'm wondering if the responses would be different depending on who you asked: married or single.

As a single woman - I WISH I had someone to celebrate VDay with. For me, it can get a little depressing to see all of the commercials - or even just knowing that others will have that day to celebrate with their SO or not - if they choose to. I don't really have a choice, as I don't have a SO.

So I could say that I love VDay - but it doesn't have to play into the whole Commerical VDay thing - but the idea of celebrating the love you have with your SO on a special day sounds very nice to me. Of course you should show that love daily, but shoot - I like being treated out to dinner and given cards and gushed over!

[Kimberland30]

Prior to DH, I used to love Valentine's Day. I'd get all spiffy, go out to a nice (but crowded) restaurant, and get pampered. Now, not so much. DH and I have regular "date nights" and do special things for eachother all year long, so VD is just another ordinary night. DH usually gets me something (gift basket, flowers, whatever), but we never go out to dinner on that particular night.

[gayle]

It's a great excuse to go out for a nice dinner, and I am always up for that!

We do cards, I usually get flowers, and we go out to dinner. I enjoy it and it seems like a special day for us.

[mrs webb]

This will be our first Valentine's Day since we got married, so I think I'd be hurt if we didn't do something to celebrate and get each other at least a small gift. DH will probably send me flowers at work. That's what he's done in the past. Even though it's cheesy, I secretly love it.

[QPDoll]

Prior to DH, I always wished for romance on V-Day. My birthday is two days after V-day and it always has felt like a miserable 3 days. One day to show me nobody loves me (pity party me!), then a pause to let it sink in, and then my birthday to just reiterate the sentiment! (love my attitude?)

now - DH doesn't really do ANY holiday. I think he doesn't like to HAVE to do something for anything, especially a date on the calendar telling him so. Our first year together, he knew I didn't really like those 3 days, so he made them special. But after that, eh, not really.

[Tracie]

When we first started dating, we made the decision to celebrate St. Patrick's Day instead of Valentine's Day. It was actually my idea, I really don't like Valentine's Day since my bitter single years. I just kind of ignore the day, but he usually bows to pressure from co-workers and gets me flowers. I love flowers, so I'm not going to complain!

[jeepgirl]

we've been doing the same thing on Valentine's Day-tomato soup, grilled cheese, sparkling grape juice and brownies. We'll exchange a card and that's it.

I really like this idea! This will be DH's and my first married Vday and I would like to do something special, but low key and intimate. We will be out of town on business for Vday, but, still, I really like this idea for in the future. Maybe tomato soup, grilled cheese, sparkling grape juice and then make some popcorn, curl up on the sofa and watch a rented movie we'd both like to see (or something).

[Rosebud]

We don't celebrate Valentine's Day. We exchange cards usually and that's about it. Before we were married, Feb. 18th was our dating anniversary, so we often used to go to dinner to celebrate that, but we never did anything on the 14th.

Every now and then I will see big vases of flowers on co-workers' desks and get a little jealous... but at the same time I don't want DH to spend our money on overpriced v-day flowers. So, a card is good. This year will actually be pretty exciting, though, since our baby is due right around Valentine's Day!

[bunny nose]

I wish just once in the 11 years we have been together DH would do something ince. I get a card, but other than that I get the cold shoulder. Why? Because VD is the day his ex-wife left him. I don't want to dismiss his past, but I would like just once to be made to feel like he is really happy with me. I mean, celebrate the life you have, not what you lost. I'm here because I want to be here, she left because she didn't.

I was once told that "noone will ever be worth it again". Yeah- I didn't talk to him for a while after that one. And another year I was told that I "didn't deserve it". Its amazing I'm still with him.