Any other Worriers?

[Kristibell]

Is anyone else a worrier? Does worry consume you at time? I'm like this and I don't know how to stop it.
Most of the time when I worry it's about how people are going to react to my actions or decisions I make. I worry that I'll be seen as selfish, that my friends won't want to be my friends anymore. When I'm in this state of mind I'll imagine how the specific person will react to the decision or action, and almost always my worry is 10 times worse than the actual reaction.

Sometimes I worry so much about things like this I can't sleep and it consumes my thoughts when I'm awake.

How do I do things that make me happy without worrying about how others will react all the time?

[Freckles]

Sometimes I worry so much about things like this I can't sleep and it consumes my thoughts when I'm awake.

I definitely relate to this statement. I am one of these people with nervous energy, and I sleep only 4-6 hrs a night due to my mind racing. I tend to read a lot, or play on the computer to help me relax and train my mind not to think before bed. I worry about small things such as whether to cut bangs again :rolleyes: to big things----like will I ever get pregnant? Also, I worry about the health and happiness of those I care about, and even the state of the world at times. I have no idea why I'm like this, but I have been this way since I was very young. I'm just always thinking...
I avoid anything with caffeine after 4PM because that doesn't help matters. I like to take a bath, sometimes have a glass of wine, and READ. If I just go to bed without relaxing in some manner I just cannot shut my mind off.

It's impossible to tell you to just relax and stop worrying about what others might think, because it's not that simple. I have to tell you the fact that you don't want to come across as selfish makes you self-aware and probably tends to make you the very opposite. I bet you are a very giving person, so just try to trust your inner self and make the best decisions for YOU, and others will support you unless you are somehow being self-destructive. Do you have big decisions to make soon?

[Reenie]

Yes, I'm a total worrier. I worry about EVERYTHING. I worry about things that aren't even real (such as, I'll anticipate a possible problem- not a real one, mind you- and worry about that! When my DH is late, I worry that he has been in an accident, when I am running late, I worry about that, I worry about my students, I worry about my parents, I worry like crazy! I guess there are just a lot of things to worry about in this world! :p

[Sarah6690]

I'm just like Reenie... most of the time I make up problems to worry about. (as if I couldn't find enough in my real life :rolleyes: ) And God forbid DH doesn't call when he is running late... you just know he's laying in a ditch somewhere dying! Anyway, besides all of the other suggestions you have recieved... I would try making a worry journal. Maybe if you can get all of your feelings down on paper you won't have to sit and think about it so much. Try doing it a little while before going to bed. I've decided that I really don't care what people think anymore. It doesn't do any good, they are going to think what they want anyway. And if I do or say something that pisses them off, let them deal with it. (wow! I sound like a b*tch! I swear I'm not)

[stevesbabygirl]

Oh my God, yes! I am a constant worrier! I worry about getting a job, I worry about getting on the plane tomorrow, I worry about when I'm going to have kids. I worry about everything.

[Brandles]

I worry, too! Mostly about big things--the economy, stock market, oil and gas running out, more terrorist attacks, nuclear bombs. I've never been kept awake though.

But...DH drives 45 minutes to and from work. I have him call as he's leaving (mostly after dark)so I can set the timer for 45 minutes. I begin to worry if it goes off and he's not home.

We have no kids. We don't have plans to have kids anytime soon (and maybe not at all). But, I already worry about them. I worry about them being over-weight, having ADD, ADHD (or something worse), a learning disability, being handicapped, having friends. And I worry that if we don't have kids, DH will die and I'll be left all alone, wishing we had had children. I worry that I'll be the cousin or relative who is invited to holidays because "she's family" and not really wanted there because I don't have kids.

Once, I actually made a list of things that worry me and there were 150 some different things on that list (manifesto).

[FallingforPhil]

Chronic worrier here. It's to the point where DH thinks I need to see someone about it. I panic every time the phone rings, because I'm sure it's bad news. I worry when I call my parents and no one's home, and they won't answer their cell phones, even though they live in a very rural area where they rarely have a signal. The list could go on forever...I'm not sure when I started to get like this, but I don't like it. I have the problem with my mind racing at night, too. I've found that leaving the TV on helps me keep my mind busy on something *other* than worrying.

Glad to know I'm not alone... :)

[B&BAddict]

Count me in, when i start worrying it can be about anything, the house, work, Family, have children or not, where to live, health , accidents, terrorism, I can easily lose sleep and make myself sick, DH just ordered me a book , Women Who Think Too Much, I had not heard of it, but the description totally sounds like me, it will be interesting to read.

FROM THE PUBLISHER
Do you keep yourself awake at night trying to anticipate your children's needs, or strategizing how to care for your aging parents? Does your career have you thinking and rethinking the choices you've made, and the ones you suspect you'll be faced with in the future? Do you suffer from negative thoughts about your body and your health? Do you have trouble getting over losses and setbacks? If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, you may be an overthinker. And research shows you're not alone -- an increasing number of women are falling victim to this cycle, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life. In this revolutionary book, renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema explains why so many women are overthinkers and provides concrete strategies that can be used to escape these negative thoughts, move to higher ground, and avoid future traps.

[southerner]

I only worry about one thing, money! I check my bank account online everyday (okay, sometimes a few times a day). When I am falling asleep at night, I crunch numbers. I think about how I want to divide up my paycheck (i.e. $200 on credit card, $40 for gas money, etc.). I think about making extra payments on our home equity line of credit, then re-tally how many months it will take us to pay it off. It frightens me sometimes. I work a second job (waiting tables) to help with some of the house repairs we are doing and I when I go in I have an exact amount of money I want to make. If I don't make that much, then I usually come home in a bad mood and have to resort all of my numbers in my head before I can fall asleep.

This is bad, I hope it doesn't get worse someday. In some sick way though, it normalizes things for me that there are others of you out there.

[evagatesgreen2]

I worry constantly. I try not to but I do. My dad used to get so annoyed with all my "what ifs" :o I worry so much I imagine the worst. And on occasion I worry so much I break out in a rash on my arms and face. :(

[tessd76]

I can relate to all this worrying but I am not near as bad as I used to be. My husband helped me put a stop to saying "what if". That made a big difference. I realized that worrying about something that never ended up happening caused a lot of stomach troubles and kept me out of the present moment.
My husband also bought me a great program by Lucinda Bassett from the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety. It is definitely worth the money. There are audio tapes, videos, and a manual. It is at least a 15 week process but can definitely help with anxiety, worrying, and help deal with stress. I definitely recommend it.
Tess

[southerner]

evagatesgreen2 When I am stressed out, my eczema flares up! For me, there is a difference between my worrying and stress. Ever been to the doc about this? Mine gave me some cream that works wonders. I have even become proactive with the cream he prescirnes for me. I put it on BEFORE I break out and start itching to death. The itching just stresses me out more. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you :rolleyes:

[paiger]

I'm just anxious all the time. I'm anxious about the state of my life, and it definitely keeps me up at night. Sometimes, I just lie there with about a gadgillion things running through my mind. Southerner the money thing is the main thing that is on my mind. I try to plan out how we can get out of debt, and I beat myself up for getting to this point.

I go over and over lists in my head trying not to forget anything as well, and I am consumed with thoughts of the future. Will I ever get a job that I enjoy? Can I go back to school for my PhD? What do I want to do with my life? How did I become 26 with no idea what I want to do in my career? Will I decide I want to have children? What will happen if I have kids for DH, but I don't really want to?

My other anxious craziness is that if I am in a fight with DH, I'll make it worse by going over and over all the things that he's done that piss me off. I can honestly make myself just furious w/ him when I might have just been angry, and I know I'll be doing it but I can't stop.

ETA: it also makes my dermatitis on my scalp flare up to the point of unbelievable itching! It's so weird how your body reacts to that.

[BeachGirl]

I am the same way! Right now I think my anxiety is about the state of my life as well. I've been married almost for a year now, and I keep telling myself I should be happy because everything is going good for us right now. We are doing very well financially, and I have a good relationship with my family. But something just doesn't feel complete to me. I think it is my job. I don't enjoy it at all. I think maybe I should get into another industry, but what if I don't like the change and I'm even more miserable than I am now. I also don't even know what other types of jobs would interest me. Then I think when I have kids in a few years I'll want to be home with them. But then I think, well if I'm just going to be a stay at home mom, why did I go to college and work so hard to get good grades. I also think I'll be sad and lonely as a stay at home mom, but right now that sounds so much better than working 10-12 hours a day in a job I really dislike. I just want to have a fulfilling career and be happy, but it seems so hard.

[Reenie]

I only worry about one thing, money! I check my bank account online everyday (okay, sometimes a few times a day). When I am falling asleep at night, I crunch numbers. I think about how I want to divide up my paycheck (i.e. $200 on credit card, $40 for gas money, etc.). I think about making extra payments on our home equity line of credit, then re-tally how many months it will take us to pay it off. It frightens me sometimes. I work a second job (waiting tables) to help with some of the house repairs we are doing and I when I go in I have an exact amount of money I want to make. If I don't make that much, then I usually come home in a bad mood and have to resort all of my numbers in my head before I can fall asleep.

This is bad, I hope it doesn't get worse someday. In some sick way though, it normalizes things for me that there are others of you out there.

Oh yes, I crunch numbers constantly, too!

My biggest thing is this: I am a freak in the car. I don't mean that way. ;) I'm sort of okay if I'm driving, but anyone else, forget it! I slam my foot into the floor (where the brake would be), grasp the door or "ohshit" handle until my knuckles are white, get bitchy, squeeze my eyes shut, you name it. It has caused ever-so-many arguments between DH and me ("You've never been in an accident with me" "It doesn't matter" "Why don't you trust me"
"It's not you, it's all of the other crazy drivers" "Could you stop" "You should have let me drive"), and he really thinks that I need to see someone to help me. :rolleyes: I think that a psychologist would think I'm right to be nervous in the car! :p I tease my DH sometimes that I'm going to get a helmet but a little part of me really wants to! :eek: :o These fears are not unfounded, I have been involved in three accidents, none of which were my fault, and I have been a total freak since the worst, obviously (I was sitting at a stoplight- STOPPED- and this jerk drove straight into me head-on at 40 mph. I lost consciousness, was in the hospital, etc.). Ugh. I hate that I'm like this, but I don't think that I can change.