Dealing with child's gift disappointment

[LyLMyssChaos]

My 4 year old just gave us her Christmas wish list and EVERYTHING on the list has been discontinued(or changed so that there is a different character being promoted.) I have tried searching ebay, with no luck. I have tried to get other gift ideas from her, but she will not budge. And she claims that one particular item "is the only thing that will make me happy on Christmas morning."

So unfortunately, she will not be getting what she has asked for and will be disappointed. Any ideas for dealing with this disappointment? Especially because her younger brothers are getting something that will make them BEYOND happy?

[jimmysgirl424]

I'm sure you already tried, but have you looked on Amazon? Alot of times they have discontinued items on there for sale. Also, make sure you save the eBay search you ran so that they can email you if and when the item you are looking for gets listed for sale!

What is it that she wants? Maybe I can help you look! :)

[catmom]

Ugh, sorry. I would be upfront with her now so she's not blindsided on Christmas.

Maybe have something else to do on Christmas that isn't gift-related that she will enjoy just as much? Like a big Christmas craft or baking cookies right after opening presents?

[LyLMyssChaos]

What is it that she wants? Maybe I can help you look! :)

The biggest thing is Ariel's Magical Talking Kitchen. I found 1 on Ebay and I am watching it, but it is already double what it cost brand new, so I'm not sure if I'll win it or not.

It has been replaced with the Disney Princess Enchanted Tales talking kitchen, but she HAS to have ONLY Ariel. Ugghh. :rolleyes::(

[jennylou]

I'm sure that kids are disappointed every Christmas. Many times their parents can't afford the gifts that the child asks for. IMO, I would make sure DD know that it's a wish list, not a guarantee of new things that only she wants.

[Ericka]

Not in the box apparently, but it's listed as Buy It Now for $99 and $20 shipping, comes from Illinois http://cgi.ebay.com/Ariel-Little-Mermaid-Magical-Talking-Kitchen-Disney-LN_W0QQitemZ160184159150QQihZ006QQcategoryZ146030Q QssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem


This one is NIB and buy it now for $179.99 or bid at $149.99 and shipping is $25 (was sold already) http://cgi.ebay.com/Ariel-Little-Mermaid-Magical-Talking-Kitchen-NIB_W0QQitemZ160184816927QQihZ006QQcategoryZ44036Q QssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

[Sophia]

I see 5 listed on eBay.

I agree that children need to understand that sometimes, for whatever reason, they don't always get what they want.

[elle jee]

I think that she totally needs to learn to deal with disappointment... this is a good time for her to learn. ;) I would talk to her mother about it, and ask if she could please work with her dd to make a list of things that are actually available now.

ETA: that mermaid kitchen looks hideous!!! (no offense to anyone out there who enjoys pink and purple talking monstrosities in their house!)

ETAA: oops, I misread, and thought this was a niece (I don't know where I got that). So sorry... heh.

[Kingdono]

My son each year makes up toys and I try to tell him that Santa can't make all the toys that were ever made he can only make the toys in the stores now. The elves can only make so many patterns a year. It seems to work because he has kind of stopped asking for made up things.

[Asha]

i wouldn't worry too much about it. i know my mom was always much more disappointed that she couldn't afford to get us much at xmas than we were. we were just excited about santa coming and the surprise rather than focusing on any specific gift.

[maplekitty]

maybe have her write to Santa with her wish list, and then you can write back as Santa and say something like "The elves are so excited this year to be making a BRAND NEW, EVEN BETTER talking kitchen with the Disney Enchanted Princesses." or something along those lines. Maybe if Santa is excited about something else, it will change her mind?? I don't know...I'm trying to think on the level of a four year old and what they would understand, right?

[Sage]

I think I would try to prepare her that she's not going to get it so she's not disappointed Christmas morning. You might need to deal with some tears and disappointment now, but better now than later I think. I would just be as straightforward as you can about it and say "Santa's not making the Ariel kitchen anymore, honey. I wish he could bring it but the elves don't have any of the parts," or whatever. Then maybe you can find some other Ariel things that are available and try to get her more excited about those things. Christmas is still a ways off and she may be able to build up her excitement for an alternative item if she can get the Ariel kitchen out of her mind now.

[Kingdono]

http://houston.craigslist.org/bab/490087979.html

Check out craig's list

[mamax2]

I agree about trying to be upfront and let her know it's a WISH list and Santa isn't an order-taker. He tries to make many children happy, it's a big job and he'll do his best. Then, I'd probably NOT encourage her to write lists and focus on what's being given to her and instead try to divert her energy towards something like adopting a needy child (perhaps someone her age that she'd enjoy shopping for). Just out of curiousity, how does your DD know about all these toys if they're discontinued? At first I was thinking commercials/merchandising, but that would be promoting the new product lines. Where's she getting her info? Maybe you need to cut off her sources :p

eta: before anyone tells me she's only 4 and it's o.k. to be thinking just of getting gifts, etc. I just want to mention that my own 4 y.o. does not do the list thing. She saw Santa this week and asked for slippers! She's already been on one shopping trip with me to buy supplies for our local animal shelter's holiday 'wish list'. I think this is the perfect age to start instilling a 'giving' aspect of Christmas. It is doable!

[LyLMyssChaos]

Just out of curiousity, how does your DD know about all these toys if they're discontinued? At first I was thinking commercials/merchandising, but that would be promoting the new product lines. Where's she getting her info? Maybe you need to cut off her sources :p



Unfortunately, these are things that she has been asking for at least all year long(if not since the previous year--the kid has an AWESOME memory!) If something is too costly for purchase at that time, we usually say "well, maybe you can ask Santa for it and he might bring it for Christmas." We also were "bad parents" and she didn't get ANYTHING for her birthday this year. Money was just too tight at the time, and this blasted kitchen set is what she asked for then as well.

This is the first year she's really made a list because she didn't quite understand what Christmas was before. We are taking her shopping to get things for charity, but it still will be a difficult thing to see her brothers getting EXACTLY what they ask for and she doesn't get ANY of the things she asked for.

I have told her that Santa "emailed" me and told me that he is sorry but he just can't grant that wish, but are there other items that she might like to receive because he would like to see her happy on Christmas morning. I'm hoping after a few days of it sinking in that she'll cave and give us a different list. Unfortunately though, she is VERY stubborn, so only time will tell....

[Katie1]

I know someone already recommended checking craigslist, but my suggestion is to put an ad in the "Wanted to Buy" section. I would be really surprised if you can't get it that way- that looks like a toy that kids would outgrow quickly so there must be tons of them out there that people got last year and don't want anymore.

There are quite a few craigslist sites for Michigan- try posting in a few that are close to you and see what happens.

[mamax2]

LMC ~ Ah, yes, I know ALL about the amazing memory of a 4 y.o. They're amazing, aren't they? What you're saying makes perfect sense though. Does your DD know anything about the recalls? Some of my friends mentioned how surprisingly well their 4-5 y.o. DDs were handling the recalls (specifically re: Polly Pockets). Maybe you could say something was unsafe and she needs to pick an alternate? I know that's fibbing, but it might be a workaround for you just to get her going down a different path. I would imagine if she'd just get her heart set on something else, that would be all you need, kwim?

[firefly]

maybe it sounds silly but say sending a toys r us or a walmart/target gift card from santa because he can't make the ariel kitchen anymore, and he wants her to have a kitchen? and of course some tangible gifts maybe play food or something to go along with the kitchen?

[lady1297]

My son (3) is going to be disappointed when he realizes that just because it is a train doesn't mean Santa will bring it. I keep reminding him daily and hourly that Santa will look at his requests and pick from them, but he won't get them all. It kinda doesn't sink in at this age. But I'm not backing down, we DON"T need 101 trains. He gets his Thomas HO one and a few pieces for his GeoTrax and that's it. Santa cuts him off in favor of giving trains to other kids. I doubt he'll worry much when there's a stack of gifts. That was all for me to say, do your best, then let it go. She'll move on eventually! :)

[lauren f s]

Have you tried showing her pictures of new things in magazines, catalogs, or online? Or maybe take her to Toys 'R Us or some other store and let her show you things there you want. I'd make a big deal out of it and have it be Mommy/Daughter time, then tell her Santa needs help because he can't make the one kitchen or other toys so he wants her to go and pick out what she would like.

[pride&prejudice]

I'm hoping after a few days of it sinking in that she'll cave and give us a different list. Unfortunately though, she is VERY stubborn, so only time will tell....

Please don't take this the wrong way. But honestly, I know there were times that I didn't get stuff on my "wish list" as a kid. It might be a little disappointing at first, but I'm sure with the excitement of the day she'll soon forget it. And I don't think its going to scar her years from now becuase she didn't get one specific thing that was on her list.

It is wonderful that you are looking, but I wouldn't kill myself looking for it. It sounds like you are a wonderful mother who has taught her kids that there is more to the holiday than gifts and toys.

[LyLMyssChaos]

An update:

She has started showing interest in other items. She is still asking for the original items, but at least now there are other things she is wanting. I kind of had family and friends join in by asking her what she wants and having them respond with "are you sure that's REALLY what you want? How about this....?"