Waitresses sitting down next to you.

[stochasticgirl]

deleted

[SweetRed]

Can't stand it. I don't understand the purpose, and frankly, they sit too close to the point of invading my personal space. Once I find a restaurant that promotes this type of "service", I don't go back. So I haven't had to deal with it for a while.

[Natasha]

Some restaurants, like Outback, encourage this practice. I have no idea why, but they do. If I don't know the server, it bugs me a lot.

However, if I do know them, it is fine with me. I have been a server off and on for the last 7 years, and have several friends with the same type of job. We make an effort to only eat in each others restaurants when it is typically a slow time, so we can chit chat as well.

[Kimberland30]

To take an order, it's fine. To chit-chat, not so much.

I actually like it when a waiter/waitress sits down to take our orders. Of the places we've been that do this, they grab a nearby chair or squat near the table. I think it's more 'personable'.

But unless I know them, I don't want to chit-chat. I'm there for a reason (I hate going out to eat), so leave me alone to chat with my friends/husband.

[May27JnJ]

It depends on the person. If they're weird (I don't know how else to word it) I don't like it. But if they're cool and I don't mind.

[Marisa]

I can understand it when you're in a loud restaurant (as Outback often is, or Friday's, or Bennigans) -- it's probably encouraged to make sure that the order-taking is as accurate as possible.

To me, it's sort of borderline, I'm really really fond of my personal space. As long as they're all business, I can live with it. :)

[udsweetpea]

At all of the restaurants I've worked at (Ruby Tuesday, Friday's, Lone Star, Disney), we were always yelled at by management for sitting. We could squat at the end of the table though. I like when cute men squat at my table ;)

[jenahdawn]

Doesn't bother me. Bothers me more when you have a larger party or a complicated orderer (like me) and nothing gets written down....I have YET to have my entire party get the correct order when that happens.

[lml41981]

Don't like it. I don't need my server to be personable with me. I just need them to take my order correctly, bring it promptly, keep my glasses refilled and otherwise leave me alone until it is time for the check. My impression of people who grab a chair and join you or whatever is that they're trying to fake a friendship-like attitude to increase their tip.

I don't mind if they squat...to me, it just seems like they're trying to get on a level where they can hear me...but sitting with us is too much.

[mrschica]

I don't care if they do it to take my order, especially if the place is rowdy, I'm sure they're doing it for accuracy. Not to mention, they're probably tired and are taking advantage of a few seconds to sit, so I take that into consideration as well.

To chit chat, not so much. I'm there to talk with my family and/or friends, not the servers.

[carrie9142]

I find it kind of odd, but it doesn't bother me. Well, it might bother me if someone just sat down to hang out. I have had many a job working on my feet for hours at a time, so I understand how wonderful that 30 seconds of sitting down can be! I tend to give them more leeway since I know how much it sucks to be on your feet without a break.

[HeatherFL]

Depends on the restaurant. "Fancy"-no. "Casual"-sure, if the server is reading the situation and sees that I (and the company I'm with) are comfortable with it.

[dionysia]

I hate it.

Di

[greenbunny]

I'm trying to think if I ever experienced this...it doesn't come to mind. I do see the server squat frequently. Having difficulty hearing didn't occur to me though; I thought they just wanted to write with the table under the notepad.

Off the top of my head, I wouldn't think anything of it if the table was a large group and ordering would take a long time, or if the aisles are narrow and the server is trying to get out of the way of coworkers. But if it seems to have no purpose, or the booth is small, I'd probably be uncomfortable.

[KrissyCat7]

It doesn't bother me. I think it makes the whole experience a little more "personal". I would probably get irked if they just kept lingering though.

[MrsRJD]

I worked in a restaurant for five years, as both a server and a manager, and in both positions, we were trained to "get on eye level" with the customer while taking their order (for a server) or talking to them (for a manager). It is supposed to be a way of making the customer feel more indulged, cared for, at home, whatever you want to call it. We weren't supposed to sit with them but we were supposed to squat at the end of the table. But a lot of servers would sit on the end of the booth because a lot of times people haven't made up their minds about what they want or they have a lot of questions or their selection comes with a lot choices so the server has to ask a lot of questions. It can get kind of painful, squatting there for five to seven minutes, explaining the differences between menu items, offering all the ways they can "personalize" their meal, listing all of the salad dressings and all of the sides, describing how their medium steak is going to be cooked, etc. But once you squat, you can't really stand up until you finish taking their order (it's awkward). So a lot of people choose to sit (even though they are not really supposed to) to avoid that whole painful squatting/awkwardness thing. And also, we were encouraged to chit chat with our customers. Not to sit with them and chat, but to chat nonetheless. However, many servers (in my experience), don't have the ability to "read" their customers and determine who wouldn't mind chatting for a minute or two and who just wants to be left alone. That inability was then paired with being "trained" to chat with customers, so people would think they HAD to chat with every single customer they waited on. A lot of servers I worked with thought that chatting made them better servers (got them better tips, etc) because they were trained to think that.

[fuzzy]

It drives me bonkers.

[MsPeachy]

I don't care for it. It definitely feels like an invasion of personal space and a faux-chummy attitude certainly doesn't make me want to give bigger tips. I don't mind if they squat at the end of the table or use the table to write on though. Honestly, if I am dining out at a restaurant, I don't want "personal", I want "efficient, attentive & courteous".

[December27JJB]

I dont mind it. Being deaf, its easier for me to read the server's lips if they are at my level or under the light (if there is one) because sometimes restaurants can be so dark.

[alootikki]

Am I the only one who's NEVER had this happen?! It would definitely bother me - you mean your server just sits right down at your table to take the order? Do you have to move over for them? Bizarre! :confused:

[imagirliegirl]

I don't mind if they squat...to me, it just seems like they're trying to get on a level where they can hear me...but sitting with us is too much.

This is what I did when I waited tables if I needed to hear better. I would never have thought to pull up a chair!

I've also never had someone to that to us that I can recall. I wouldn't like it if they did.

[chefker]

Can't stand it. I intentionally sit near the edge of the booth, so there's no chance of someone sitting next to me. :)

I don't mind the squat at the end of the table so much. Someone I don't know plunking themself right next to me, no thanks.

[jennylou]

In a casual restaurant, I'm cool with it. If it's fancy, not so much. :p

When I worked in a restaurant and going through management training, we were encouraged to get on eye level with people - that's so that people don't feel that you're talking down to them. That said, when taking an order as a waitress, I rarely sat down or even kneeled - unless they were friends or it was a situation where I thought it would help (elderly people who were having trouble hearing me).

And, I regularly worked 12-13 hour shifts, so I understand being tired of being on your feet.

[NotDesperate]

I hate it! It feels like such an invasion of my personal space.

[littlemia]

Don't like it. I don't need my server to be personable with me. I just need them to take my order correctly, bring it promptly, keep my glasses refilled and otherwise leave me alone until it is time for the check. My impression of people who grab a chair and join you or whatever is that they're trying to fake a friendship-like attitude to increase their tip.

I don't mind if they squat...to me, it just seems like they're trying to get on a level where they can hear me...but sitting with us is too much.

I feel the same.

[Sin Nombre]

Am I the only one who's NEVER had this happen?! It would definitely bother me - you mean your server just sits right down at your table to take the order? Do you have to move over for them? Bizarre! :confused:

My thoughts exactly. In my many years of going to restaurants of all types, I've never seen this happen once! :eek:

[tenofcups]

I've also never had it happen. And it never occurred to me that a server would sit down with me--I'm surpised to read so many people have encountered it. I would find it completely inappropriate if I ever did run into it.

[Foley42]

I don't care for it. It definitely feels like an invasion of personal space and a faux-chummy attitude certainly doesn't make me want to give bigger tips. I don't mind if they squat at the end of the table or use the table to write on though. Honestly, if I am dining out at a restaurant, I don't want "personal", I want "efficient, attentive & courteous".
Ditto for everything above. If I know the server then that's a different story. When I was server I would never have dreamed about sitting down next to the customer.

[BerBer]

I really like it when I'm in a different city and can get a feel for the area from my server and what places are cool to hang out at. I've met some really cool people just by being nice and talkative to waiters and bartenders... I got invited to a birthday party in Mexico by one of our bartenders at a resort and it was the best night I had there.

I was a waitress all through school and I used to do it sometimes... especially after a 12 hour shift but I could tell the kind of table that would like it and the tables who wanted their food and that was it.

But sometimes I can be too nice and friendly; I'll admit that too.

[AHammer]

I don't need my server to be personable with me. I just need them to take my order correctly, bring it promptly, keep my glasses refilled and otherwise leave me alone until it is time for the check.

ITA with this.

[BTB]

Am I the only one who's NEVER had this happen?! It would definitely bother me - you mean your server just sits right down at your table to take the order? Do you have to move over for them?

We eat out way more often than we should, and I've never even HEARD of this happening. If it did, I'd be sitting there like this little guy: :eek:

[maxandmolly]

I've had it happen a couple times, and the first time all I could think of "How rude!" Don't like it at all. When I waited tables I would occasionally kneel down if I was working the bar/smoking section and it was getting rowdy or loud. But other than that, no. It would never have even crossed my mind.

[Rosebud]

I've never had a server sit at my table to take my order, and I'd find it strange and uncomfortable if they did.

I was a waitress for years in college and it would never have occured to me to do that. I suspect management would have given me a talking-to about being too forward if I had.

It doesn't matter to me whether it's a casual or a fancy restaurant, I expect a certain degree of formality when dining out and the server flopping into our booth as if to hang out with us would totally turn me off. They're not my buddy, they're assisting me at their place of business.

[wendalah]

I've had lots of chummy conversations with friendly servers (which I don't mind at all), but I have never had one plop down in the booth with me.

[rileyandfredsmom]

Ugh, I totally hate this. I don't like having my personal space invaded and I hate chit-chatting with people I don't know....heck, I hate chit-chatting in general (hence my pitifully low # of posts even though I've been on this board for like 2 years!) with people I KNOW!

If the waiter wants to squat down to take our order, that's fine, don't mind it a bit but don't pull up a chair or sit down in the booth next to me and ask me what my plans are for the night! And yes, this has happened to my DH and me on numerous occasions....:mad:

[trefoil]

I'm another person who has never experienced this, but wouldn't like it. If the waitress were a friend, I wouldn't mind, but I would find a random person sitting down at our table a bit unnerving.

[Missy2U]

I've never experienced this either, but if I did, I'd probably leave. This whole concept sounds idiotic.

[MrsBeckyLP]

We were at Texas Roadhouse a few months ago, and near the end of our meal the waitress sat down by us to chit chat. I thought it was kind of weird, but of course didn't say anything. She asked us what our plans were for the evening and talked about nothing related to her job. She totally wore out her welcome, and she didn't know when to end the conversation and leave. It got really awkward. We were with MIL and FIL, and they thought it was really weird too.

So I'm not a fan of servers sitting down next to me. However, if it's a pretty good friend, I have no problem with it.

[HisSpicy]

Never had this happen, and if I did they would be getting one hell of a tiny tip. I don't go out to eat to make friends, and any conversations I have with the server is about the food or wine because I'd like to know more about it or where it comes from. The squatting down at the end of the table is nice when it's a cute and charming guy, but looking up to the server is just fine with me.

[Sin Nombre]

The more I think about it, the more I disagree with the way people are describing the current thinking in training servers (to get down to eye level and bond with the customer, etc.). A server is being paid to provide a service to me (as a customer), and should do so professionally, without any false pretense of friendship and connection. I certainly feel more indulged when a server provides impeccable, unobtrusive, what used to be known as “white-glove” service, rather than being overly friendly and familiar, squatting down, faux-sincerely looking me in the eye and all but patting me on the shoulder.

I don’t dish about boys, discuss Britney’s latest escapades, or chat about the last concert I attended with any of my clients, unless they’ve also become friends during the course of our professional relationship. I'm all for being friendly and pleasant, but why would a server be trained to presume a customer wants to bond with them?

[paiger]

I've only ever had the kneel at the table happen to me when I was younger and just started going with friends to restaurants, and I always felt like it was so condescending. I've never seen it happen to tables where the server is younger than the patrons, so it really irks me when they do this.

DH and I have had the servers sit down with us, too, and I don't like that either. I feel like they are using fake conversation to get a break. DH and I are always chummy with our servers, too, so I know it's not necessary. Once, our waitress did this with another table, and she sat there for like 20-30 minutes. We had to get another server to go get our server so we could get our check. It really sucked.

[vwinkel]

I absolutely hate it when a waitress or waiter sits down or kneels down in front. They are normally lazy and way too unprofessional.

[mrs_pell]

I absolutely hate it when a waitress or waiter sits down or kneels down in front. They are normally lazy and way too unprofessional.

That's a bit of a jump, don't ya think? Like several people have mentioned, several restaurants encourage this in their training. Whether or not you like it, it's not very fair to say as fact that they're normally "lazy" for doing what they're told to do.

I was a server/bartender all through college and grad school. I didn't make a habit of doing this, but there were occasions when I would...like if I was working the bar and it was a larger group of guys who were engaging me in conversation first. And, whether I stood, kneeled, or sat, I was a damn good server who made sure that people had their food, drinks, etc.

It's been a long time since I've been a server or bartender, but I still have, and will always have, a large amount of respect for anyone who's doing it. It's hard as hell, and they put up with a lot of shit from a lot of people! A few comments that have been made in this thread really remind me why I don't miss doing it most of the time, because I can read the [possibly unintended] attitude of superiority. Yes, their job is to serve you and make sure you have a good experience. But, just because they're your "server" doesn't mean that their job is to bow down to their customers and be, for lack of a better term, their slave. And, honestly, that's the feeling I get that people expect when I'm reading some of the comments in here. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just overly defensive of the job. But to read that people get so upset about a server talking to you, trying to be nice, etc, just irritates me. I'd so much rather that than a rude server. That, to me, is the worst thing a server can be. Squatting down at the end of your table...not so much!!

Sorry this became so long! I really didn't intend it to!!

[K&H's mommy]

I absolutely hate it when a waitress or waiter sits down or kneels down in front. They are normally lazy and way too unprofessional.

Jeez. This is a little harsh.

I worked at Outback Steakhouse in college - and we were trained that if there was space available on the booth or an empty chair, to sit down and take their order. I started off doing it but then stopped because I just didn't like it. However I did kneel down because the restaurant was SOOOO loud and I just couldn't hear people. I never thought people would think I was lazy and unprofessional though.... I made DAMN good money so I'm guessing most people did NOT think that.

[lauren f s]

I don't like it, mostly because I'm not a chatty people person. I want my order taken and to be left alone unless I need something.

DH, on the other hand, would happily sit and chat with them throughout the meal.

[curlyjr]

When I was a waitress, I probably would have been fired if I sat to take an order. Unless it is part of the ambience or training, I don't think it shold happen.

[vwinkel]

Jeez. This is a little harsh.




That's a bit of a jump, don't ya think? Like several people have mentioned, several restaurants encourage this in their training. Whether or not you like it, it's not very fair to say as fact that they're normally "lazy" for doing what they're told to do.

Yes, it probably is harsh. I will qualify my statement then. . .In my experience, they have been lazy and unprofessional.

Kneeling due to loudness is one thing and completely acceptable. The kneeling thing doesn't bother me as much.

My problem is with the kid who is utterly too casual and sits down saying, "My feet are killing me! Thanks for letting me join you for a minute. What can I get you to drink?" or "Whew what a day! (distractedly looking around) (fumbles with pen and paper) What can I get you? (distractedly looking around) I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Regardless, unless it's Hooters or a bar, I really don't see a need for any server to sit down and coerce with the patrons. I'm not there to make friends or hear about their day and I'm not there for them to join my table. I view it as they are invading my personal space. I'm there to eat and enjoy my time with the person I am dining with. Maybe some establishments encourage this behavior, but these are not the places I frequent and are not the ones I am referring to here.

[Sarah]

I've never even heard of this, but we don't eat out often. I wouldn't like it because I am nervous around strangers and when I get out alone with DH I want privacy. Waitstaff should be professional and nice and friendly, but not in my face or intrusive.

[camberne]

I find it highly unprofessional and that is on my top-10 list of what will reduce a server's tip. I don't go out to a restaurant to have a server sit down with me... I'm there to sit with the people I came with.

[greenbunny]

DH does actually like to chit-chat with the server, and he usually finds a common interest to discuss. He can't help but be sociable to everyone. I'm sure the server's other patrons appreciate it. :rolleyes:

If the server looks unwell or is obviously struggling (late in a pregnancy, for example) I wouldn't have a problem with it.

What does make me uncomfortable are the ridiculous songs and routines they do for birthdays and special events. At the Hooters in Seattle, they put a birthday boy on a stool and a few waitresses clustered around him and danced a bit. The kid was 12 if he was a day. He was sooooo embarrassed. Of course, the rest of the party is to blame...if they'd keep their big mouths shut about the reason for the celebration, it wouldn't be an issue.

At the Hooters in Vegas (don't blame DH, I am a nut for hot wings!) the waitress was really surly. She kept looking at me in that way that said "I know you won't give me a cent because you're an uptight beeyotch". She was very conscious of how close she got to DH. I overtipped just to see what she would do, and as we walked out I heard her hiss "YES!" behind us.

[Kristy]

When I was a waitress, I probably would have been fired if I sat to take an order. Unless it is part of the ambience or training, I don't think it shold happen.


Same here.

If the restaurant is busy and loud, I have no problem with the server kneeling to get the order. But otherwise, no thanks, and please don't sit next to me.

[Standrea]

I don't mind a squat, but I hate when they sit. Like a PP said, it seems like they are invading my personal space!

[Julss05]

How do you feel about waitresses or servers sitting down next to you, either to take your order or to chit chat?

No way! Squating or on their knees with elbows on the table while they take the order is weird and unprofessional too. Chit chat seems pointless, definitely not going to get a bigger tip out of it, more of a waste of time when they could be putting in our order for food. I also get nervous when they don't write down the order because it usually gets messed up. The only place I could see a more casual approach might be a bar.

[MichelleRenee]

I hate it. It seems so fake to me.

I've waited tables in truck stops, chain restaurants and in fine dining and I wouldn't sit or squat in any of those. I might bend down to hear what a small child is saying or to point something out on the menu, but that is it.

All the table squatters I knew were always the over-achiever, suck-up types (think the male server from Office Space. Brian?).

[ysolde]

I eat out all the time, and have never had a server sit at the table. It would strike me as odd, to say the least.

[JamBray]

Am I the only one who's NEVER had this happen?! It would definitely bother me - you mean your server just sits right down at your table to take the order? Do you have to move over for them? Bizarre! :confused:
Nope. I've never had this experience nor knew they even did this. I think I would find it weird were it to happen though.