Dilemma

[Kristibell]

I have a dilemma and I can't talk to the people involved.. At least not yet. I have to decide if talking to them would seem selfish. My problem might seem small but it's stressing me out.

Here is the situation:
I've known my best girlfriend since I was about 2 years old. She is due to give birht around the 23rd of next month, this is her 2nd baby, but she had her 1st child in another state so I was not around. She is now local again.

Okay.. so this seems like no big deal right? Well here's the problem. My MIL has been trying for ages (since like last summer) to plan a trip to Tahoe with myself, DH, SIL and BIL Things get booked and I forget about it. Turns out the weekend we are supposed to go is Aug 25th.

I feel like if I do go I will be letting my dearest friend down, but if I don't go I will be letting my family down.

I just don't know what to do.

Hopefully you wise ladies can shed some light and offer some sound advice.

Thank you!

ETA: I should add that my friend is not being induced so that adds to my confusion.

[monique]

I say go and have a great time in Tahoe! (I live only 2 hours away and it is beautiful!)

Babies are almost ALWAYS late so don't take her due date as the day she will be going into labor. Also, you will be going just for the weekend, labor itself is usually a full day and after you are so tired you just want to rest. The next day also consists of resting and making sense out of getting to know this baby. so, although it is sometimes nice to have visitors, it is also nice to have quiet time to yourself.

I would not stress and just enjoy your time with your family. Even if your friend goes into labor while you are gone, I know that she will understand.

[Rose]

The baby could be born anytime. I think your friend will understand if you won't be there on the exact day. The baby may come early or late and then you will have missed out on your family vacation. You aren't being selfish.

[Lanapoo]

ITA with the others. I think you should go and have a good time. If she says anything just tell her it was really important to your MIL and you and your husband were obligated (even if you really weren't) to go. I think a good friend would understand.

[bluberry]

I think you should go to Tahoe and not feel guilty about it. It would be nice if you are able to visit her and the baby shortly after you return though.

[lml41981]

Honestly, if my friend were sticking around waiting for me to give birth, I'd feel obligated to see her while I'm in the hospital...and I'm not even sure I'll be up for non-family visitors. I can't say I won't be, but I don't know. But knowing myself, I'll probably just want people to wait a couple of days and let me rest.

What do you think she would want - visitors right away, or a couple days to rest?

[Kristibell]

Thanks!I know you all are right. I am just a worrier and she and I are very different and have very different reactions. While it wouldn't bother me if she were gone if I had a baby there is a possibility she could see it as not being a good friend (We've had issues like this is the past).

[AttyGrl74]

Babies are RARELY born on their due dates - Baby Nora was 2 weeks early.

Your friend will have much more on her mind than whether you are there or not.

The best thing that my best friend did was come and visit and help me around the house after I got home from the hospital and after my family had left town - about a week after I had the baby. She brought me a big ole casserole and helped me clean the house. THAT was way better than people visiting me in the hospital.

[Ohana]

Ita with Attygrl. Babies only rarely come on their due dates, and we were in the hospital for only 24 hours after birth, so there was no time for people to visit us. I preferred going home, getting settled, and having visitors (no matter how close, family included) come over several days after we got home.

Enjoy your time in Tahoe, and make your friend a yummy dinner when you get back.