Not circumsized questions

[mom2two]

My DS is almost 4.5. He's not circumsized and seems to be having problems. DH and his family is not circumsized and I didn't care either way when he was born. I left the decision up to DH, figuring he knew better than me. Besides my dad, it was all girls in my house growing up.
DS started having problems last year, around 3ish. Just saying "ding-ding hurt" or "ding-ding down", "boo-boo", etc. I thought his foreskin wasn't retracting (which our ped said it does on its own with growing and stretching), so we went to a urologist and he said everything is progressing fine. I think he's just sensitive to shifts or it growing or stretching down there.
Anyone else with boys having the problem? He touches down there alot, but everyone says "typical boy". His ped is male, and I really trust him, and he checks him good for proper stretching and everything. I don't like my DS touching himself anywhere and anytime. :rolleyes:

[AlisonCO]

Does he complain that it hurts now or just last year? Does he retract his own foreskin? Does your doctor retract it? Really, a doctor should not retract it - there is no reason for them to plus it can be done much too forcefully. It could be uncomfortable when it is "growing and stretching" but maybe there was some damage done by a forceful retraction. My intact son plays with his penis in the bath and actually just recently started retracting it just a bit. I know it is uncomfortable to see your kids touch themselves, but it very normal. If my son is touching himself we just encourage him to go to his room - we want him to be able to do it, just in private.

Mothering.com has a really good forum about intact penis care - there is alot of good info about retraction, issues with foreskin etc.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=44

Go to the sticky threads at the top.

[mom2two]

He says it hurts, or just trys to push it down, so I'm guessing it's just shifting around, or if they get mini-erections, I'm not sure. His ped doesn't retract it; he's looked and made sure it's loosening, but didn't push it alot. Zach retracts it himself, but he fiddles alot. We tell him "bathroom only", but the sitters are mentioning that he does it alot. Just wondering if it's normal, but apparently it is for boys. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable, but hey, he's only 4.

[Marisa]

Joey is 3.5 and he's intact too. He sounds a lot like your son in his behavior -- he'll pull on it and shift it around, esp. when it's time for a potty break. I think (and I don't know, because I don't have one myself) that it must get pinched as they walk around or change position or something. I guess as they get older they get used to keeping it out of the way? :)

I definitely can tell that Joey still gets the 'mini-erections' too. And we try to tell him that it's private, he's been better about not fiddling with himself (through his clothes) when he's sitting with us, but I simply don't think he's got the control or the embarrassment yet where he'll police himself.

[mcgwigan]

My stepson is intact and he went through the same thing around 4 or 5 years old. He had not been taught to retract it himself and I think it was getting neglected in the bathtub a lot! We just had to make sure that he retracted it in the bathtub and cleaned himself. I think it's just normal (he was getting erections around that time).

[mom2two]

I don't know, I'm so 'weird' about boy parts. I laugh out of embarrassment at what he does though and he then thinks its funny. I mean, what can you do when you're checking out at Dillards, and his hand's in his pants going "hey, ding-ding, get down!"
And do boys get erections pretty easily? Maybe I think he says "ding-ding down" because it just shifts.
He does retract it. I think that's why he's playing with it all the time.

[Sarah]

He had not been taught to retract it himself and I think it was getting neglected in the bathtub a lot! We just had to make sure that he retracted it in the bathtub and cleaned himself. I think it's just normal (he was getting erections around that time).I don't think you're supposed to forcibly retract it.

[Marisa]

Sarah, you're right, you should never forcibly retract it. Under normal circumstances it stays clean enough on its own, and as the child gets older (3, 4, 5 years old) it should start to retract on its own. The "fiddling" may help in that process. :)

[mcgwigan]

No, we didn't forcibly retract it or have him do that, just had him start retracting enough to clean the head - he was getting yeast infections. (Dr's orders)

[Sarah]

The "fiddling" may help in that process. Cool. Good excuse, anyway, right? :p I just meant that the PP said she was telling her son to do that, and it seems like he shouldn't be made to if it's not ready, right?

What do I know of this subject, though?

[mom2two]

DHs side of the family is intact, and MIL used to want me to retract it all the time as a newborn. We fought so much about it with her. Back in the 70s, maybe they did do it, but she was saying that when DH was younger like that, the ped pushed it all the way under the head of the penis in one swoop. That's terrible! As long as it's loose and not restricting urine or anything, I think he'll be fine.
He probably just fiddles because of the shifting, it sounds like according to you other moms. :)

[hisdaffodil]

Just wanted to share...

We have similar issues with DS playing with his. A few times he has said his wee-wee hurt, but this time was hilarious.

He looked at us with horror and started shoving at the front of his diaper saying "Oh no, my wee'wee's too big!"

So I think maybe sometimes when they get an erection, because of pull-ups or diapers or just not used to the positioning, they say it's hurting.