Argh! Kids in Kindergarten get more personal responsibility

[kalogrias]

Ugh, I am so annoyed. This is probably more of a vent than anything, but I wanted to see if I'm wrong (please be honest, I won't flame you, I promise! :) ) So I work for a Korean company, and I'm quitting -- my last day is Sept. 1. Thank God. Because I don't have a lot of time left, my projects have dwindled down, and my direct boss is pretty good about letting me go when the work is done (ie. I finish all projects for the day by about 3, and she'll let me go at 4 after reviewing things, instead of making me wait until 6). She's on vacation right now. As usual, I was done with everything by about 2:30-3-ish, and I said to my boss's boss (who knows that she lets me go early! They talked about it yesterday!), "Well, I'm done with everything for the day. Is there anything else you'd like me to take care of? If not, is it alright if I leave?"

And he told me that I could only leave if I got in contact with my boss, otherwise I'd have to stay until 6 pm. Now, that doesn't sound so outrageous, except that my boss is on vacation and nowhere near a phone -- and her boss knows this. And he also knows that I am done, and all I'll be doing is farting around on the internet, wasting company time, for three hours (when what I really need to do is get to the grocery store before it closes at 7!). He's basically doing this because he can. It's pulling rank (and that was confirmed to me by a colleague after he left for his meeting. He told one of the interns to watch me to make sure I didn't leave before 6 , and to text him if my boss told me it was okay to leave.

Since when do I need a minder? I thought I was an adult. He told me to stay until the end of business, so I'll stay. I asked my minder if he could tell the boss that I would be leaving 15 minutes early so I can make it to the store, and my little minder told me, "He'll be mad because that's your personal life, and personal life is not supposed to influence work." Right. Okay. Cause 15 mins is going to make a huge difference, and because the big boss has never let his personal life influence our workplace (he leaves early every Friday to drive to his mother's house outside Seoul so he can skip the traffic).

Argh! I am so annoyed, I don't even know what to do with myself! Is it wrong to be so aggravated by such a stupid little thing?

[MrsBeckyLP]

I'd probably be more peeved at the intern's snarky comment! If I were that intern, I would have told you to do whatever you wanted to do! Why should he/she care???

I've read some of your other posts about this job and why you're quitting. I think you have every right to be annoyed. It's just one more thing to add to the list about why you're happy you're leaving this job!

How long is your boss on vacation? I hope this doesn't go on for too long. If it happens again, I'd probably tell your boss' boss that they're paying you to do nothing for three hours, and you're OK with it if he is.

[BridalLace]

yep, there are Asians in Asia who like to control every tiny little aspect of what foreigners do. maybe they treat other Asians that way too, i really don't know. i remember one occasion when i was living in Japan that my supervisors just would NOT let me drive to a conference out of town - because i was a woman - even though my coworker, a guy named Brian, could do whatever the hell he wanted. we batted it back and forth, had quite a lot of drama over it, until finally they relented and let me drive - if a supervisor went WITH me. they drove me up the wall on this and other ridiculous issues they split hairs over all the time. so yeah i sympathize. its a matter of control, not reason.

[Katie1]

I would be annoyed too.

But why don't you just leave early anyway, what's the worst they can do, fire you? You've already quit.

[longislandlolita]

Kalogrias, I think they're pulling a power play on you because they're pissed that you dared quit their fabulous company. They might even be looking for a way to fire you prior to your quit date -- who knows! Totally annoying, but you're almost out of there. Good luck!

yep, there are Asians in Asia who like to control every tiny little aspect of what foreigners do. maybe they treat other Asians that way too, i really don't know. i remember one occasion when i was living in Japan that my supervisors just would NOT let me drive to a conference out of town - because i was a woman - even though my coworker, a guy named Brian, could do whatever the hell he wanted. we batted it back and forth, had quite a lot of drama over it, until finally they relented and let me drive - if a supervisor went WITH me. they drove me up the wall on this and other ridiculous issues they split hairs over all the time. so yeah i sympathize. its a matter of control, not reason.

I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous. You're generalizing about an ethnic group from one anecdotal example. Kalogrias asked for help regarding a specific work situation. I'm not sure how making sweeping generalizations about "Asians in Asia" is helpful. Moreover, your story isn't about Asians controlling foreigners -- it's about a sexist supervisor. What happened to you is not excusable, but it's also not grounds for that kind of comment.

[shopaholic]

"He'll be mad because that's your personal life, and personal life is not supposed to influence work."

Wow, didn't know that work was also a prison. Please.

[Lizard]

See, I don't know.... do you normally leave early every day? I have had salaried jobs before where my boss was nice about telling me to get out a little early if my work was done. But, it happened rarely, and I certainly wouldn't complain about it because they hired me for a 40-hour week. It sounds like you have an expectation of only working 6 hours a day and getting paid for 8.

[BridalLace]

Kalogrias, I think they're pulling a power play on you because they're pissed that you dared quit their fabulous company. They might even be looking for a way to fire you prior to your quit date -- who knows! Totally annoying, but you're almost out of there. Good luck!



I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous. You're generalizing about an ethnic group from one anecdotal example. Kalogrias asked for help regarding a specific work situation. I'm not sure how making sweeping generalizations about "Asians in Asia" is helpful. Moreover, your story isn't about Asians controlling foreigners -- it's about a sexist supervisor. What happened to you is not excusable, but it's also not grounds for that kind of comment.

*shrug* i don't know....your offense doesn't really bother me, maybe because i didn't say ALL Asians, i said there ARE Asians, and my generalization can apply to how anyone reacts to foreigners. some people just react to foreigners that way; Asians happen to be the one ethnic group that i've had experience with, and i have a lot more examples of my uber-controlling supervisors from back then that i could give you. i'm also Asian myself, which, i don't know what the statute of limitations is on generalizing about your own ethnic group, but i don't really care much one way or another.

i don't think kalogrias needs help because she's leaving soon. i sympathize with her because i've run across ridiculous, controlling attitudes abroad. if that offends you, that i acknowledge other people can be controlling with regards to foreigners, within a certain ethnic group - what i said could probably apply to ALL ethnic groups, does that make you feel better - then i don't know what else to tell you. *shrug*

[kalogrias]

I'd probably be more peeved at the intern's snarky comment! If I were that intern, I would have told you to do whatever you wanted to do! Why should he/she care???

Yeah, it was the intern playing minder that really got me mad -- the staying until close of business wasn't a big deal, but the way it was handled really made me see red.

yep, there are Asians in Asia who like to control every tiny little aspect of what foreigners do. maybe they treat other Asians that way too, i really don't know. i remember one occasion when i was living in Japan that my supervisors just would NOT let me drive to a conference out of town - because i was a woman - even though my coworker, a guy named Brian, could do whatever the hell he wanted. we batted it back and forth, had quite a lot of drama over it, until finally they relented and let me drive - if a supervisor went WITH me. they drove me up the wall on this and other ridiculous issues they split hairs over all the time. so yeah i sympathize. its a matter of control, not reason.

It's very strange, because most Korean companies tend to treat their foreigners BETTER than they treat their Korean workers...I think my boss's boss is somewhat incensed by me for a number of reasons, and he's enjoying pulling rank in a snarky way because my boss isn't here to protect me.

Kalogrias, I think they're pulling a power play on you because they're pissed that you dared quit their fabulous company. They might even be looking for a way to fire you prior to your quit date -- who knows! Totally annoying, but you're almost out of there. Good luck!

Yup, I'm fairly sure that's part of it. I also probably shouldn't have told him that I thought the way he treated some of my colleagues was flat out wrong (yelling for 1/2 an hour, etc). I don't think he liked me bucking him, even though it was in private and I was very polite about it. This is all part of it. Ugh, the next 3 weeks are going to be TOUGH to sit through...

Wow, didn't know that work was also a prison. Please.

This place is a prison. That's why they have lost 4 employees over the last 7 weeks.

See, I don't know.... do you normally leave early every day? I have had salaried jobs before where my boss was nice about telling me to get out a little early if my work was done. But, it happened rarely, and I certainly wouldn't complain about it because they hired me for a 40-hour week. It sounds like you have an expectation of only working 6 hours a day and getting paid for 8.

Nope, not normally. Only since my work-load has dwindled to the point where it makes no sense to stay and do nothing for hours every day. In fact, two weeks ago I was in the office until 9 pm over a client issue (so I ended up working a 55 hour workweek, and getting paid for 40). I get in early, too -- the workday starts at 9, and I am usually in my chair with the computer on at 8:30. Both bosses leave early most days -- 10 mins, 30 mins, etc.
****
So what ended up happening yesterday was that I sat in my chair and played Drug Wars for a while (the original unix version). Then I texted the boss's boss to tell him that I was going to leave at 5:45 so that I could still make it to the grocery store (left out that part), and was that okay. His response was to call the intern all pissed off. Apparently, I'm not allowed to contact the boss's boss directly -- I was supposed to ask the intern to contact him to ask him if it was okay if I left 15 minutes early. Urgh. This place SUCKS so bad. How am I going to make it through the last 3 weeks here without losing my mind?

[jnettie]

Yup, I'm fairly sure that's part of it. I also probably shouldn't have told him that I thought the way he treated some of my colleagues was flat out wrong (yelling for 1/2 an hour, etc). I don't think he liked me bucking him, even though it was in private and I was very polite about it. This is all part of it. Ugh, the next 3 weeks are going to be TOUGH to sit through...
Oh, this is totally a face issue. This IS a cultural issue going on here. Even in private, you told a superior that something he did was wrong. Now he has to show he's higher than you. You made him loose face, even if in private.

[kalogrias]

Oh, this is totally a face issue. This IS a cultural issue going on here. Even in private, you told a superior that something he did was wrong. Now he has to show he's higher than you. You made him loose face, even if in private.


I'm groaning because I know that you're right. What happened was that he asked me directly (in private) what I thought about him firing one of my colleagues (actually, she quit because he yelled at her publicly for 30 minutes), and I politely told him that I thought it was not the right way to go about doing things, and that if he wanted our respect, he should respect us...and as soon as I said that, a voice in my head said, "You should have lied to him. Now you're screwed." And I think I probably am.

These next three weeks are really going to blow. DH is back in the US for business for most of that time, so I don't even really have my support system in place...and work is going to be hellish.

ETA: My last boss (in the US) would ask us stuff like that all the time, and he expected honesty. That's where I was coming from on this -- I'm not an idiot about local custom, but I figured since I'd been asked a direct question...I never thought that I would be assigned minders and be made to do stupid things just because he is a boss and I am an underling...

[brenda]

Get through the next 3 weeks the way you got through tonight - playing Drug Wars after you finish your work. It'll drive him bonkers. And, if he retaliates (which, hey, control freak, he'll have to retaliate) make a game of seeing what you can make him do.

You're already out of there, develop the mindset of a person who is no longer subservient to Big Boss. Do the work that needs to be done, but then don't stress about it. If they want to pay you to sit and play video games, then let them. Heck, bring a couple of books and make it clear that you're just killing time.

I know this may not be the best response. However, reasonable clearly has no value in this company, and you need to do something to stay sane.

[jnettie]

Well, at least you know it's not you.

I like brenda's suggestions. What's he gonna do, fire you? ;)

[Leia]

Seriously. What will they do to you? Also, why do you have to ask them for permission? What happens if you just leave? I understand if it's a cultural thing - it just seems odd.

I have seen all your posts as well, and I am very glad you are getting out of there!

[jajacobsen]

I don't think it is completely odd. I have worked abroad twice and have been treated similarly - but it was back here in the US. It is totally a control thing, but them whenan employer is paying you, they literally do control your activities during teh paid hours. The best thing you can do is to just get through it.

I don't knw that I would play games every afternoon, but I would use that time wisely if I were trapped at my desk for several hours with not much to do. Things I would work on, wqietly at my computer:

Resume/CV
Job search/networking
Personnal correspondence - catching up on emailing/writing
My Christmas card list. Maybe build a mailmerge file of adresses
Computerize or upate my adress list/emils/phone numbers so everything in one handy place
Make sure all details with HR are finalized

My point is that probably you can use that time for personal items, but you are still ready and available to do work during the time you are being paid, should any need rise between 3-6pm (which I imagine can happen).

Hang in there - three weeks WILL pass.

[loving624]

Just another person chiming in to say that I completely agree with Brenda's ideas. :) Good luck getting thru the next 3 weeks.