Support for Ladies Who Have Miscarried (#3)

[Tiniest Angels]

This is a thread for ladies who have experienced a miscarriage. It's a place to discuss our emotions, struggles, and successes. If you have experienced, or are currently experiencing a miscarriage, we hope you will join us. This is a place to talk openly while also offering comfort and encouragement.

Your threadmistress: ThreeYell

If you would like to be added to this thread then please post your stats in red.

Also, if you have any links that have helped you, feel free to post those and we will add them.

[Tiniest Angels]

Active Members

Stacy654
Me: Stacy - 29
DH: Brian - 29
Married since: June 2004
M/C: D&C on November 26 would have been almost 10 weeks pregnant

Steve's Sweety
Name: Tish, 31
DH: Steve, 30
Married: June 9, 2001
M/C: 11W1D
DS: Holden, June 13, 2004

Taylandra
Name: Cassie, 24
DH: Michael, 25
Married: 5/21/05
M/C: September 8, 2007 @ 6w 3d

Tealynn
Me: 36
TTCing since May '06
Married: 9/03
M/C: 5/31/06, @ 6 weeks
M/C#2: 9/23/07 @ 7 weeks

ThreeYell
Me: Amy, 31
Married: 9.21.02
DS: 2.04.05
M/C: fetal demise @ 13 weeks, discovered at 15 weeks. Induced/D&E 6.8.07
TTC: 8/2007

[Tiniest Angels]

Alums

abbylynn
Name: Abby, 28
DH: Darren, 42
Married: 8/4/01
DS: 7/22/03
M/C: 12/16/06

ag05
Me: 33
DH: 31
Married: 2001
M/C: 11/04 - 13 weeks w/ D&C
M/C: 2/05 - 5.5 weeks
M/C: 11/05 - 4.5 weeks
M/C: 5/06 - 9.5 weeks w/ D&C

AirForceLove
Name:Jen, 32
DH:Lenny, 28
Married: February 15th, 2003
M/C 6 weeks, January 2002
M/C 4 weeks, 3 days July 2004
M/C 4 weeks, 4 days Dec 2006

ajjlanden
Name:Ashley, 28
DH: Doug, 33
Married: June 28, 2005
M/C naturally at 7 weeks
DD: Danielle Judith 12-15-04

alliannie
Name:Annie,22
DH:Adam,23
Married: August 15, 2004
M/C (D&C) @ 10 weeks, June 2005

ameigh
Name: Amy, 27
DH: Neale, 32
Married: Sept. 2001
DD: Feb. 2005
M/C #1: Jan. 28th, 2006
M/C #2: Sept. 9th, 2006

amygrrl
me: amy (36)
dh: dan (34)
TTC since: March 2003
Treatments: 6 failed rounds of Clomid. 1 successful IVF producing Avery Elizabeth born still on June 3, 2005 at 27 weeks from possible cord accident (we love you, baby girl!) along with 3 frozen blasts.
Update
DD Name: malin elizabeth 4/3/06

bellabonga
Me: 33
DH: 35
Married: October 2nd, 2002
M/C: Missed Abortion at 10w4d but he or she had been dead for about a week by then. Three days later d&c on May 26th, 2006.
DD: Maya Allison February 14th, 2003

brenda
Name: Brenda, 22
DH: Sweetie, 36
Married: September, 2005
M/C naturally at 8 weeks (11/10/05)

bumble
name: rebecca
dh: a boy
married: august 31, 2003
m/s at 8 weeks, june 2005

bunnybeth
Name: Bethany, 27DH: Elon, 28
Married: June 23, 2002
M/C naturally at 12w1d (12/7/05)

Calla Lilly
Name:Erin, 31
DH: Gary 36
Married: August 2006
M/C medicated 9w3d on 11/16/05

CapeCod04
Me: Kate, 44
DH: Aron 35
mc: medicated 8w2d

Chagtown
Me: Alissa
DH: Brian
Married: 07/05/03
M/C: 07/29/05: 6w,4d
M/C: 09/14/05: 6w, 6d

dlj78
Me: Dana, 27
DH: Nick, 31
Married: 9-18-04
Miscarred: Still waiting

dpangel33
Me: Danea (22)
FH: Patrick (24)
Wedding: 10-16-05
M/C: at 7 wks

Ericka&Jarett
Me: Ericka, 32
DH: Jarett, 27
Married: 12/14/01
Infant Loss : Rebekah Joy - 4/18/05 @ 24 weeks, lived 1 hour and 11 mins.

excitedbride
Name:Christina 24
DH:27
Married: 03/02/03
M/C (natural @ 10 1/2wks

foofie357
Name: Steff, 26
DH: Brian, 26
Married: November 24, 2001
M/C: 9 weeks. D&E Feb 23. I am considering this her date, but she had died about a week before that.
DS: Christopher 8-12-04

Happy27
Name:happy 27
DH: 29
Married: April 27, 2002
M/C in process - the baby measured 6 weeks but should be about 9 weeks we are waiting for the baby to pass and contemplating a D&C
DS: Benjamin 8-14-04

Hew?B
Name: Hew?B, 29
Will be Married: Oct 2006
M/C: @ 6w2d, June 2006

jay&erinn
Name:Erinn, 30
DH: Jay, 30
Married: December 29, 2001
DD: 9/22/03
M/C: 11/10/04: 6w, 6d
M/C: 7/20/05: 11w, 6d

ieducate
Name:Karen, 33
DH: Andrew, 34
Married: August 1, 2004
M/C naturally at 6w2d (April 20, 2006)

JennH
Name:Jenn, 30
DH:Rob, 30
Married: September 20, 2002
M/C at 9 weeks, the surgery date is what sticks in my head at 6/13/05

Jennylou
Me: Jenny
DH: Sean
Married: 9/20/03
Forever in our hearts: Andrew Wyatt, 5/20-5/22/05

Jenzen01
Me: Jen, 28
DH: Al, 37
DS: Gabe, born 12.21.04
Married: 10.4.03
Miscarred: 8 weeks, naturally, Oct. 2005

jjsanner
Name:Jen, 31
DH: Eric, 33
Married: April 26, 2003
DS: Elijah 02-06-04
M/C: 02-10-06 at approx. 5 weeks


jrose
Me:Jess--27
DH:J--27
Married: 8.31.02
DS: O 1.05.04
No m/c yet, but found at at 12 weeks that baby was only 8wks and there was no heartbeat.

jodylovesscotty
Name: Jody, 32
DH:Scott,32
Married: August 30, 2003
M/C: @ 5 weeks, June 2006

Karlatta
Name: Karla, 25
DH: Scott, 26
Married: 06/08/02
M/C at 8 weeks, D&C 1/29/05

katmg
Name: Kat, 26
DH: 31
Married: November 08, 2003
M/C: 2/04/06 @ 6 1/2 weeks

kdotp
Me: Kari - 26
DH: Nate - 29
Married: 9-6-03
m/c #1 12-24 @ 6w2d
m/c #2 4-22 @ 8w

kerrykate
Name, Kerry, 30
Dh, Fred 30
Married 27 Oct 01
DD: 4 Oct 03
M/C: 6-01, 3-06, 12-06

ktnkids
Me:Karen (25)
DH:Patrick (31)
Married: 7/13/02
DD:Helen 6-12-99
angel Jamie 7-31-03
DS:Nathan 9-28-04
Angel baby 11-1-06

Lilla
Name: Kim, 30
DH: Tony, 33
Married: 10/12/02
M/C: naturally @ 10 weeks, 11/26/05

lissy
Name: Lissette, 32
DH: Benny, 30
Married: 05/04/03
M/C at 11 weeks, D&C 8/2/05

LDS Angel 19
Me: Michelle, 22
DH: Aaron, 23
Married: September 4th, 2004
Our angel Allison Grace June 17th 2005 @ 22 wks, With us on earth 40 mins

Lil_Mrs_0702
Name:April,21
DH: Shannon,25
Married: July 02, 2005
M/C partial molar at 11 weeks had D&C

MLA
Name:MLA, 32
DH: H, 29
Married: June 19, 2004
M/C: 6 wks (August 5, 2007)
7 wks (October 15, 2007)

Nigellas
Me: Kerry, 28
DH: Chris, 30
Married: August 7th, 2001
MCs: at 11wks, 19 wks, 6 wks and 12 wks

polkadot
Name: Lauren , 26
DH: Brian, 27
Married: November 20, 2004
M/C: 1/12/06 @ 5 1/2 weeks

puglover
Name:Julia, 27
DH: Josh, 28
Married: April 20, 2002
M/C - baby died 8w3d, I would have been 12w4d when we found out, D&C on October 18, '06, miscarried naturally Oct. 22, 27 and Nov 1, Cytotec Nov 4-5, '06, D&C#2 Nov. 9, '06

purplesunshine7
married 4/5/03
me:28
dh:28
m/c june 2,2005

robynsnest
Me: 32
DH: 34
Married Since: 04/02
Miscarried: 02/06

rene'
Name: Rene', 35
DH: Todd, 36
Married: December 23, 1990
2 DD's: 12/18/94, 03/30/98
M/C: 9/02: 6w
M/C: 12/02: 5w
M/C: 11/7/05: 10w (naturally, no d&c)

Sabriel
Name: C, 24
DH: J, 23
Married: May 22, 2005
M/C: @ 6 weeks 4 days, October 15, 2005

Sebski
Name: Sebski, 30
Married: Oct 2002
M/C: @ 5w1d, June 2006

shouldaeloped
me: Heather (32)
DH: Neal (34)
TTC: September 2004
first m/c: january 2005, 12w2d, natural
second m/c: may 2005, 9w2d, d&c


ABirney
Name: Angie, 32
DH: Scott, 31
Married: 9/25/04
M/C: m/c discovered 1/16/08 at 8w1d, D&C 1/18/08

ahavnes
Me: Alicia (31)
DH: Scott (32)
DD: Abbey (5/29/05)
M/C: Found out at 11w1d, D&C a day later (7/19/07)
Diagnosed with partial molar pregnancy

Alanna
Me: 34
DH: 33
DD: 11/05
M/C: 6/07 (at 8 wks 3 days)
Chemical pregnancy: 9/07

allison
Me: Allison 33
Married: 5.24.03
M/C: 7 weeks 9.16.07

Annette
Name: Annette, 29
DH: Mike, 30
Married: 11/01
M/C: 3/5/07, @ 8 weeks
M/C#2: 8/13/07

cr8zyforaf
me: 34
DH: 33
Married May 2002
DD September 2005
TTC: May 2007
m/c: September 2004, 11w2d, d&c

DansGirl
Me: 27
DH: 33
DD: 9 months
M/C: @ 12 weeks, Sept. 17, 2007

docoNY
Me: Deirdre (37)
DH: Declan (40)
DD: Orla (7/9/05)
M/C: Found out at 9w5d, D&C 6/15/07

Eloo
Me: 23
DH: 28
Married: August 11, 2007
M/C: 8/2007

Ferris
Name:Kim, 30
DH:Brian, 31
Married: 7/13/02
M/C: 4w3d, 5/21/07
DS: Douglas, 5/21/05

GlamaGal
Name: Lori, 31
DH: K, 43
Married: 10.11.03
DD: A, 11.27.05
M/C: 6.5.07 @ 6w (not sure when conceived)
Angel DD: 12.4.07 D&E @ 19w 1d due to condition not compatible w/life

hiphopgirl
Me: Janet (36)
DH: Jack (38)
DS: Anders (7/13/05)
M/C: Found out at 9w5d, D&C 6/20/07


jenahdawn
Name: Jenah, 29
DH: Matthew, 28
Married: 07/26/02
Lost Katie & Chloe at 18 weeks, 6 day on 9/27/06

JMD
Age: 26
TTCing since Aug '07
Married: 8/10/02
M/C: 12/16/06, @ 5 weeks
Kelly51703
Name: Kelly
DH: Chris
Married: 5.17.03
DD: 11.23.05
M/C: @ 5w6d, 11.28.06
M/C: ruptured ectopic 1.14.07 (didn't even know I was PG)

Kelly's Girl
Me: Kelly's Girl, 33
DH: 33
M/C: Jan 1, 2005
PG: Feb, 2005- DS born October, 2005
M/C #2: July, 2007 (didn't know I was pg, so don't know how far along I was!)

lilhimley
Name:Jennifer, 33
DH: Erik, 45
Married: June 7, 2003
M/C blighted ovum by D&C at 10 weeks 12/07/2005
Had D&E at 14 weeks 08/18/06 due to chromosome problem and heart defect

Lolly
Me: Laura, 32
DH: 31
Married: 9/28/02
M/C: 9w2d 7/13/07, Blighted Ovum
DD: Mary, 4/29/06

lorbo
Name:lori, 36
DH:jimbo, 36
Married: dec 1, 2001
kids: DD 1/03
DS 1/05
M/C 13 weeks

MrsCantDecide (MCD)
Name:Stefani, 29
DH:Shane, 32
Married: 5/4/02
M/C #1: 5 weeks, 11/06
M/C #2: 6w4d, 3/18/07
M/C #3: 4w3d 5/18/07
DS: Lucas Wayne, 3/5/06

Sand
me: kristin, 32
dh: chris, 34
ttc: Dec 05
Dx: questionable.
Feb 06 - m/c #1
July 06 - m/c #2
Aug 06 - 1st appt with RE
Sept 06 - sonohysterogram + hysteroscopy for uterine polyp
March 07 - m/c #3
6/07: Femara w/ Ovidrel shot - BFP!
7/07: loss #4 [ectopic pg]

Sophia
Me: 38
DH: 36
DS: Sept. 1992
DD1: Apr. 1995
DD2: July 2006
M/C 1: Dec. 2003
3 chemical pgcies: early 2004
M/C 2: Sept. 2007

Sully130
Me: 29
DH: 31
Married: June 2002
M/C at ~6 weeks, 7/1/04
Our angel, Hannah Jane, born still on 4/22/05 at 23 weeks (1 lb, 2 oz, 10 1/8" long).

Sydney24
Name:Jennifer, 30
DH: Ben, 30
Married: December 2003
TTC: since Feb 06
BFP: 31 Oct
M/C: found no heartbeat at 9 week u/s, waiting for D&C

teacher jessica
Name: Jessica, 29 (30 in February)
DH: Brad, 33
Married: July 23, 2005
M/C: 12/06/06 at 6w4d

Taraw
Name: Tara
DH: Scott
Married: July 20, 2002
DD: Adelina - Aug. 2003
M/C: 8 weeks (Natural, no D&C) - April 2005

wasabigreenpeas
Me:33
DH:34
Married since: 2002
M/C: 03/24/06

[Tiniest Angels]

What is a Miscarriage?

Miscarriage or spontaneous abortion is the natural or accidental termination of a pregnancy at a stage where the embryo or the fetus is incapable of surviving, generally defined at a gestation of prior to 20 weeks. Miscarriages are the most common complication of pregnancy. The term "abortion" refers to any terminated pregnancy, deliberately induced or spontaneous, although in common parlance it refers specifically to active termination of pregnancy.

Types of Miscarriages

A threatened abortion is the development of symptoms (bleeding with or without cramps or low back pain) that often suggest impending miscarriage. With such a presentation of bleeding, 50% proceed to miscarriage of the pregnancy.

Inevitable abortion
The miscarriage of a pregnancy is inevitable when any of the following symptoms are present:

There is an obvious rupture of membranes
An open cervix
There is tissue in the cervix
There is an absence of fetal heart at a βHCG level consistent with fetal heart activity
When any of these symptoms are detected, management involves conservative observation, monitoring for heavy bleeding and sepsis, and a dilatation and curettage (D&C).

Incomplete abortion
An incomplete abortion is the miscarriage of a fetus in a pregnancy when tissue has been passed, but some remains in utero. It can result in severe bleeding, infection or intrauterine scarring. Management consists of a dilatation and curettage (D&C).

Septic abortion
The infection of the womb carries risk of spreading infection (septicaemia) and is a grave risk to the life of the woman. It may follow an incomplete miscarriage and previously was a problem for pregnancies that occurred if a Dalkon Shield IUD had failed in its contraception. This has been particularly associated with abortions performed in non-sterile circumstances, common where abortions are carried out illegally and/or by poorly skilled and equipped operators.


A missed abortion is the miscarriage of a fetus in a pregnancy when the fetus has died, but remains in the uterus. Many cases of missed abortion will lead to a spontaneous abortion within days. Occasionally, a dilatation and currettage is necessary to remove the pregnancy tissue. That's because there is a risk of maternal coagulation abnormality if the tissue remains in the uterus for several weeks.

Habitual abortion (recurrent pregnancy loss or recurrent miscarriage) is the occurrence of 3 consecutive miscarriages. The majority (85%) of women who have had two miscarriages will conceive and carry normally afterwards, so statistically the occurrence of three abortions at 0.34%[3]) is regarded as "habitual".
There are various medical conditions associated with this problem, some of which may be corrected with medication.


Common causes of Miscarriages

Uterine Abnormalities
Ectopic Pregnancy
Blighted Ovum
Luteal Phase Defects
Autoimmune Disorders
Molar Pregnancy

[Tiniest Angels]

Links

http://www.fertilityplus.org/faq/mis...resources.html
http://www.realsavvymoms.com/pregnan...iscarriage.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscarriage

Books

A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss -- Guidance and Support for You and Your Family
by Perry-Lynn Moffitt, Isabelle A. Wilkins, Ingrid Kohn
Support for this often unrecognized loss. Includes information on how men and women grieve differently, stress management in subsequent pregnancies, etc.

A Woman Doctor's Guide to Miscarriage: Essential Facts and Up-To-The
Minute Information on Coping With Pregnancy Loss and Trying Again
by Irene Daria, Laurie Abkemeier (Editor), Lynn Friedman

Coping With Miscarriage: A Simple, Reassuring Guide to Emotional and Physical Healing
by Mimi Luebbermann
Pregnancy councelor writes about emotional and physical stages of miscarriage.

Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss
by Sherokee Ilse
Support.

Empty Arms: Emotional Support for Those Who Have Suffered Miscarriage or Stillbirth
by Pam W. Vredevelt
Christian-based emotional support.

How to Prevent Miscarriage and Other Crisis of Pregnancy
by Carol Colman, Stefan Semchyshyn
Information of preventing future losses.

Never Held You: an ebook about miscarriage
by Ellen M. DuBois
Who are we? We are professionals in the workforce or professional mothers. We are painters and singers. We are caretakers and we are movie stars. Some of us may have children; while some of us don't. The one thing that connects us all is that we are women who experienced a miscarriage that seemed, in many cases, to go unacknowledged by many. We have all felt the dismissal of our very real grief and we have all felt alone and isolated because of it. We cry our tears together. You are not alone in your struggle to get through this . . .
http://dlsijpress.com/dubois/index.shtml

Miscarriage: A Shattered Dream
by Sherokee Ilse & Linda Hammer Burns
This is what I would consider a short form book of information and support. It's a fast read, but some people will want more depth.

Miscarriage: The Facts
(Oxford Medical Publications) 2nd Edition
by Gillian C. L. Lachelin

Miscarriage: What Every Woman Needs to Know
by Professor Lesley Regan
Information on causes, process, treatment, chances of successful pregnancy,
miscarriage and infertility.

Miscarriage: Women Sharing from the Heart
by Marie Allen, Ph.D. & Shell Marks, M.S.
Stories of support from many women. A very emotional read, but worth it.

Motherhood after Miscarriage
by Dr. Kathleen Diamond (Ph.D. biochemistry)
Medical info and support.

Stories of Miscarriage - Healing with Words
edited by Rachel Faldet and Karen Fitton
Moving writings from both mothers and fathers.

Preventing Miscarriage: The Good News
by Jonathan Scher, M.D.
A good look into the medical causes of loss and information on testing and prevention.

Surviving Pregnancy Loss: A Complete Sourcebook for Women and Their Families
(revised & updated)
by Rochelle Friedman, MD & Bonnie Gradstein, MPH
An in-depth look at the physical and emotional, with a section on husbands & other family. Some stories, a good resource list, and great bibliography.

A Time To Decide, A Time To Heal
Molly Minnock, MSW, Kathleen Delp, ACSW and Mary Ciotti, MD
This is a book for parents who are making difficult decisions about babies they love. It's written by mothers & fathers who have faced the news of a fetal anomaly with grief & courage. Topics include: Making decisions (continuing & interrupting the pregnancy), taking control, medical procedures, couples healing, selective fetal reduction and subsequent pregnancies.

Unspeakable Losses: Understanding the Experience of Pregnancy Loss, Miscarriage, and Abortion
Kim Kluger-Bell
A therapist's look at the loss of a baby -- includes a number of personal stories. Looks at subjects including knowing of an in-utero death before the physical loss takes place, selective reduction, abortion for genetic reasons, loss after infertility, etc.

Moving on

If and when you are ready to move on to a thread for TTC there are these threads available:

TTC after a Loss
TTC w/ Charting
Plus Size and TTC
Seeing What Happens
Still At It
TTC at 35+

Or if you have decided to wait these threads are available:

Ladies in Waiting
Charting to Aviod

[Tiniest Angels]

Open for posting.

I deleted the TTC information because most of it seemed to be out of date. Please update your stats if you want to. Thanks!

[ThreeYell]

I thought I'd kick off the new thread with a good thought. It's been exactly 2 months since I delivered and I feel like a different person. Those first few days and weeks were an emotional blow unlike anything else I've ever experienced. I couldn't see how I would get to a place where I could feel OK again, but here I am. I'm OK.

Of course I still have hard moments. Recently two different friends have announced their pregnancies right at the beginning of the second trimester. That's the hardest thing for me. I know they think they're safe now, like I thought. I don't think I'll ever feel safe in a pregnancy again. But that's not going to stop me from doing whatever I can to have a healthy baby in my arms again.

I got preliminary results from the nurse that all my blood tests came back normal and it feels like AF will be here any moment. At least I'm assuming that it's PMS that forced me into Baskin' Robbins today. ;) So that means it's time to get back to TTC!

[firefly]

subscribing.

[ahavnes]

Three Yell- Thanks for the new thread! :) Can you add "partial molar pregnancy" under my info? Not b/c I'm super proud of it (;)), but I wanted other women who may encounter this rare and scary condition to know that they're not alone. Thanks!


Recently two different friends have announced their pregnancies right at the beginning of the second trimester. That's the hardest thing for me. I know they think they're safe now, like I thought. I don't think I'll ever feel safe in a pregnancy again.

I couldn't have said it better. I thought I was safe in my 12th week b/c we had seen a heartbeat and I was still sick. Like you said, I don't think I will ever feel "safe" again.

[ThreeYell]

Done, Alicia.

Thanks for keeping in mind the ladies who will sadly come to this thread in the future. One of the first things I did after I found out we lost the baby was come here and try to find someone who had had a similar experience. In those first days, feeling like I wasn't alone was the only thing that helped.

[Annette]

Thanks for starting this thread.


I don't think I'll ever feel safe in a pregnancy again.

I know that feeling. I don't think I'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief until at least the 12th week. I had thought I was in the clear last time since I saw the heartbeat.

[docoNY]

docoNY
Me: Deirdre (37)
DH: Declan (40)
DD: Orla (7/9/05)
M/C: Found out at 9w5d, D&C 6/15/07

oops - realized I never properly joined the last thread - pls add my stats
thanks for the new thread!

[MLA]

Question:

So, my miscarriage started Sunday. I'm still bleeding a lot today (4 days later) and still having some cramping. I want this to just be over already. Can anyone who's miscarried early tell me how long they bled and cramped?

[ahavnes]

My numbers are back!! Only 131 (down from 510 last week). Yay! I still have some ways to go to get to 0, but we're on the right track. Hopefully this means that all of the tumor was removed during the D&C and I won't need the chemo shot. :) Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.

[firefly]

oh that is awesome news I have checked this thread 100's of times waiting for you results

[sparkle&shine]

Question:

So, my miscarriage started Sunday. I'm still bleeding a lot today (4 days later) and still having some cramping. I want this to just be over already. Can anyone who's miscarried early tell me how long they bled and cramped?


I actually charted my miscarriage (I was 6w6d) and got PG the same cycle right after (it's in my sig). I bled for 7 days and spotted for 2. I also O'ed a few days late.

[MLA]

Congrats, Alicia! That's really wonderful news. :)

[MLA]

I actually charted my miscarriage and got PG the same cycle right after (it's in my sig). I bled for 7 days and spotted for 2. I also O'ed a few days late.

Thanks. I'm just hoping it's over soon, ya know?

[sparkle&shine]

Thanks. I'm just hoping it's over soon, ya know?

I totally understand. It seems much more final and done when your body goes back to normal. Having to deal with AF when there wasn't supposed to be one is draining to do everyday. It is just a constant reminder. {{{HUGS}}}

[jen]

Question:

So, my miscarriage started Sunday. I'm still bleeding a lot today (4 days later) and still having some cramping. I want this to just be over already. Can anyone who's miscarried early tell me how long they bled and cramped?


I bled heavily for about 5 days, lightly for about 3. Cramping was only the first day.

So sorry for your loss MLA.

[ThreeYell]

Having to deal with AF when there wasn't supposed to be one is draining to do everyday.

So true! I hope the bleeding stops soon, MLA

Yay for the numbers going down, Alicia!

[Tiniest Angels]

Updated

[ahavnes]

Thanks Ladies! :)

firefly-Definitely thinking of you and praying tomorrow goes well.

MLA-I'm so sorry you're still having to deal with this.

[MLA]

So, I went to the Birthing Center today and had my “pre-conception” visit. I really liked the woman I met with. She looked over my charts and actually said she thought they looked really good and that my pregnancy chart looked good, too, since I hadn’t dipped below my coverline w/my temps. Anyway, she said she doubts I actually have any progesterone issues but since I’m worried about it, she said they’d be happy to do some testing to put my mind at ease. She suggested we wait until my next cycle to start ttc-ing again – partly so that if I do get pregnant, we’re able to accurately date the pregnancy and partly to give my body a little time to heal from the miscarriage. So, I guess it’s a month of no trying, followed by full-on ttc time! So on cycle day 21 next month, I’ll go in for progesterone testing, and then hopefully we’ll have timed things right so that I’ll be pregnant that cycle. As soon as I have a BFP, they’ll test progesterone again to make sure I’m okay – and if I’m not, they’ll prescribe supplements. Also, DH and I have to go in to do a full tour of the facility to make sure that this is the place I want to give birth. We’ll be doing that soon.

She was really positive – and was super happy that I’d gotten pregnant the first month we tried. She saw that as a really good sign and seemed very confident that next time around I should probably not have any problems. It was a really, really good thing for me to have this appointment, I think.

[hiphopgirl]

I guess I never joined the last thread either, oops:

hiphopgirl
Me: Janet (36)
DH: Jack (38)
DS: Anders (7/13/05)
M/C: Found out at 9w5d, D&C 6/20/07

ahavnes - I'm glad to hear that those numbers are going down. That is a good sign.

MLA - I'm glad you found a good birthing center after your last experience. I hope you can get pg as easily next time as you did this time.


Having to deal with AF when there wasn't supposed to be one is draining to do everyday.

That's exactly how I felt. I still feel like I'm in a really bad dream. I shouldn't be charting right now. I should be getting ready to find out the sex of my baby.

[ahavnes]

Man, there are a whole lot of us with 2005 babies. Did anyone else have a completely easy first pregnancy? I got pregnant the first month (Surprise!) with Abbey and didn't have a stitch of complications the whole time. I wonder what the deal is, b/c I seem to know a lot of women on CC and IRL who have trouble with the second one for some reason. Or, conversely, I know a lot of women who have trouble with the first and the second is a "surprise." Just wondering.

MLA- I am so glad you liked the new place. Having a great doc makes all of the difference. :)

firefly-Where are you?? I am worried. :o

[Kelly's Girl]

I didn't join the other thread but I'm here now!
Me: Kelly's Girl, 33
DH: 33
M/C: Jan 1, 2005
PG: Feb, 2005- DS born October, 2005
M/C #2: July, 2007 (didn't know I was pg, so don't know how far along I was!)

We had loads of fertility meds to get pg with DS, and I never knew I could get PG w/o them, so this last M/C was a huge blow. I wanted a + pg test for so long, and to get one while I was absolutely hemorraging was tough.

Then, my SIL told me last night she is pg, and was really NOT wanting to be! Ironic, huh? :)

MLA, I bled for about 8 days. Soaked through a few beds, I'll tell you! I never had too much cramping, that I recall, though. Hang in there.

My OB wants to do provera and "wait and see" but I'm wondering if I should go back to my RE? I'm impatient, of course, and my OB is SUPER conservative.

Ahavnes, I had a textbook, easy-breezy first pg (unti I delivered 7 weeks early, out of town!) But other than that, it was so uncomplicated.

Since I never (well, to my knowlege), O on my own, and charting is just a joke for me because of it, how do I time BD now? It's been almost 5 weeks since the M/C and I'm supposed to pick up the provera today. Thanks!

[Annette]

MLA-I'm glad you were able to find a new doctor that you like. Thats great that they will do all the testing you need. I bled for 8 days. Worst week of my life. Was this your first pregnancy?


Having to deal with AF when there wasn't supposed to be one is draining to do everyday.

firefly-how did everything go?

I felt like this too. If I were still pregnant, I'd be only 2 months away from delivering. 3 women in my office are due around sept/oct, and it's still so hard to not get envious. I'm glad I don't work too closely with them.

me: I go back Monday for another blood draw. In the meantime, I hate the suppositories. I feel like I'm leaking all day. I wish they gave me the pills. Are they not as effective?

[firefly]

sorry ladies to leave you hanging.

i am measuring 5 w 6 d yesterday. there was a gestational sac and possibly a yolk sac. we couldn't see a heart beat or fetal poles or even a baby. my ob's not worried. I am .

I go back in 11 days. well 10 now.

[MLA]

firefly -- I should know this, but how far along are you? Is 5w 6d really far off from how far along you are?

I'm hoping that your next visit will ease your worries a bit.

[firefly]

based on my dates I was 5 w 3 d so not a 'huge' difference


Rant based on parents who have never expererienced a m/c
I'm so beyond the "oh my dr sucks so much because I know my date is May 1 and my dr said it' May 5. really I just want a baby with a heart beat 4 chambers in his/her heart. full brain activity etc. So what if it the edd is 3 days off it's just a flippen best guess anyways.

[ahavnes]

firefly- I'm glad to hear the preliminary u/s went well. I know it's soooo hard not to worry. I had 2 early u/s with this last pregnancy as well and the week in between 6 weeks and 7 weeks was hell. But, try to keep in mind that the OB is the expert and (99% of the time) they are right when they're not worried. Also, I think it's good that you are measuring ahead instead of behind. Right? I'm hoping you have a good u/s in 10 days and see a strong h/b.

[hiphopgirl]

Firefly - It's encouraging to hear that the doctor isn't worried. I'd tell you not to worry, but I can imagine it would be easier to tell the wind not to blow. Your fears are perfectly natural, but I pray that they don't consume you. I'll be thinking about you over the next 10 days. I hope the next u/s is even better than this one.

[Annette]

Well it looks like I will not be having an April baby. I started cramping and bleeding a little while ago so I'm pretty sure its over. I'm in shock and I was shaking when I realized I was bleeding. It started at work too. I have a dr appt and a sonogram tomorrow. I don't know what to do anymore. Will they start testing for anything yet?

[docoNY]

Annette I am so sorry

[MLA]

Annette -- I hate seeing you here. I'm so sorry.

[Steve's Sweety]

Well it looks like I will not be having an April baby. I started cramping and bleeding a little while ago so I'm pretty sure its over. I'm in shock and I was shaking when I realized I was bleeding. It started at work too. I have a dr appt and a sonogram tomorrow. I don't know what to do anymore. Will they start testing for anything yet?{{HUggSS}} I am so sorry.
If they won't do testing, go somewhere else if you can. Really, there is no reason for them not to at this point IMO.

[Annette]

Threadmistress- please update my stats: m/c #2 8/13/07

Thanks everyone. I'm not so worried about my doctor wanting to do the testing, I think it's moreso the insurance company that dictates when the testing is done.
I was able to talk to my best friend last night. She's the only RL person I know who's been through a loss recently.

Are my m/c chances higher now since I've had 2?

[Annette]

Just got back from the doctor. The miscarriage is complete and my #'s from yesterday were dropping. The doctor plans on doing RPL testing now rather than waiting till 3. She said she's pretty good at convincing the insurance companies to pay for testing after 2 losses especially in cases where there are no living children. So I'll be getting bloodwork along with an HSG in the next month or two. I have another follow up in 2 weeks and I'll have an answer as to whether insurance will pay. If not we'll see how much it costs to pay ourselves.

[sparkle&shine]

Annette ~ I am so sorry. I hope that you will be able to find some answers. {{{HUGS}}}


Firefly ~ I had an u/s that measured me at 5w3d and all we saw was a sac and nothing else. I had to wait until 8 weeks but at that appt. we saw a baby and a beating heart! What made me feel good was to go to fertility friend pregnancy side and look up u/s pics from the same time. In many cases their u/s looked just like mine. A sac but no baby yet. So I am sure that things are progressing properly especially if your doc. wasn't worried.

[ahavnes]

Annette-I am so, so sorry that this is happening to you again. It sounds like you have a good doctor though. I hope you get some answers soon and that this never happens again!

[kphillips4]

Annette - I am so sorry you are having to deal with this all over. I am glad that they may be able to go ahead and do the testing to get some answers. I was so sad to see your post. Thinking about you! {{{HUGS}}}

[firefly]

Annette I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you're doctor is being proactive.

[hope0805]

I am not sure if this is the right place to post this question, and don't want to offend anyone. First off, I want to say I'm sorry that this thread even has to exist, and that any of you have had to go through this. The main reason for my post today is that I am looking for some advice as to what to say -- and, importantly, what NOT to say -- to a friend who just suffered a m/c at the beginning of her second trimester, a week after having an amnio. She is not a close personal friend, but a friend from work, and I want to try to strike the right balance between letting her know that I am thinking of her and here to do whatever she needs, but not intruding into her personal life or healing process, or making her feel like she needs to talk about this with me if she doesn't want to. And someone from the office has suggested sending a card and flowers to her while she is out of the office (probably for another week), and I wanted to ask any of you whether you think that would just make her feel worse, or if it would be a nice thing to do. I feel terrible for her, and know that in these circumstances some things people think they are being helpful when in reality what they are doing is just reminding someone of their loss and making them feel worse. I'd like to avoid that if at all possible.

Thanks for any advice.

[hiphopgirl]

Hope - I can only speak for myself, but I loved the flowers, cards, and thoughts that I received after my loss. It was nice to know that people were thinking about me during such a hard time. All the card has to say is that you are sorry and you are there for her if she needs someone to talk to.

Annette - I am so very sorry for your loss. I really hope that the tests are covered by insurance and that you get the answers that you are looking for.

[Steve's Sweety]

hope -
First of all, know that if she cries, it does not mean you did the wrong thing. It seemed like that is why some of our friends didn't talk to me about it at all and at least for me, that was worse.
That being said, I have found that people generally fall into 2 camps - one is the kind who wants to talk about it, the other is the kind who wants to ignore it. And I can't say which kind she is, but I can tell you not to say "everything happens for a reason" or "there must have been something wrong" (which I can tell that you wouldn't say because you sound very compassionate).
So, it is kind of a hard call, but I really don't think it would make her feel worse. IMO, it's not different from sending flowers for a funeral - she lost a family member and some people will not look at it that way so I think she will appreciate that you do.


Annette -
How are you today? Did you stay home from work? If so, is DH with you? (Yes, I'm one of those annoying friends).

[ahavnes]

Hope- I recently lost a baby in the last week of the first trimester. I found that flowers and cards were very thoughtful, but I wouldn't hold it against someone for NOT sending them either. What I appreciated most were the friends who just said "I am so sorry that this happened to you and I am here if you want to talk about it. And if you don't, that's ok too." Personally, I really didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to put it behind me and try to move on, but it was so nice to know that I had supportive people around me if I wanted to get things out. The only thing I really DIDN'T like were people who acted like it didn't even happen (but you sound very caring and I think that any approach you take will be wonderful for your friend).

[Annette]

Tish-I am doing a little better today. I went to work and I managed to keep really busy so it kept my mind off things.

hope-I really liked the flowers and cards too. I echo what Ahavnes said. Leave it simple and don't give advice or mention things that could be wrong or that "your lucky it wasn't later on".

[GlamaGal]

Annette- so deeply saddened by your recent loss. Feel free to vent whenever, you know that. This is not fair- not right!! I love that the ob is really working with you, and not making you feel like it isn't your right to question what is going on with your own body.

Firefly- hoping you keep getting positive u/s. I was a little worried when we didn't hear from you. I guess no news is good news tho.

Hope- I think sending some flowers and a card, or only a card, is a real nice gesture. That opens the door for her to talk about it with you upon her return, if she desires. My heart hurts for her, into her 2nd tri., when you "think" you're safe.

[firefly]

Alicia did you get your beta's back yet?

[ahavnes]

firefly- Yup, thanks for remembering. This week was 55, down from 131 last week. Hooray! I really hope to get to zero soon b/c I hate needles. :)

[docoNY]

yeah Alicia that is great! hopefully only one or 2 more weeks of needles!!

Annette I am glad the doc is going to try to help you sooner than later.. thinking of you!

hope I think a card would be great - its a way of you saying that you are thinking of her without forcing her to talk about it in case she isn't up for talking

my MIL has never said a word to me directly about my m/c and it sucks but to be expected of my MIL

**waving to everyone else** I sprained my left wrist over the weekend (fell over my DD) and typing sucks with my cast/splint so going to limit it now so I am not in agony by end of day.. we are going out of town tomorrow so hope everyone has a peaceful wknd

[firefly]

Alicia Woo Hoo. I hope your down to 0 next week. or at least in 0 territory.


hopefully we both get great news next wednesday.

[Lolly]

Lolly
Me: Laura, 32
DH: 31
Married: 9/28/02
M/C: 9w2d 7/13/07, Blighted Ovum
DD: Mary, 4/29/06

Followed along in the last thread for a few days, so I'll join the new one.

My Story:
Scheduled my 8w sonogram and first prenatal visit for the same week, however the sonogram was scheduled first, which was fine since I had one at 6w along with my first pregnancy. Went in for the sono and all the tech and I saw was the sac. No fetal pole, just a perfectly formed sac. She thought I had miscalculated how far along I was and said I measured 5w3d, however I knew for a fact that I was 8w. I knew then why I had not had barely any of the same symtoms I had last pregnancy. I went home and immediately took a test and the line came up dark and fast, like 1 second. Then I searched cc and googled my symptoms and figured I had blighted ovum (http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/blightedovum.html). That was confirmed at my appointment later that week. The next week I went in for another sonogram, just to check one more time, and had a D&C that Friday at 9w2d. I didn't want to wait to miscarry naturally as I had yet to spot at all anyway.

Fast forward 4.5 weeks and AF started on 8/14. I was cleared by my doctor that we could try again this cycle. So, we'll try again and see what happens. :)

[ahavnes]

Thank you ladies!

Lolly-I am so sorry you have to join this thread. Wishing you lots of luck this cycle!

firefly-Praying for a good u/s on Wednesday. I have a good feeling about this one. Seriously. And I am usually right about these things. :)

[Annette]

lolly-So sorry for your loss.

Alicia-Glad to hear your #'s are going down.

firefly-hope everything goes well on Wed.

me- Found out today that my insurance is going to cover the testing. I'm glad I'll be able to get the testing done with, but on the otherhand, I'm a little nervous of what they'll find. So I won't be TTC this cycle until after the HSG which we'll probably schedule after my first AF in late sept.

[MLA]

Annette -- I'm so glad to hear that your insurance is going to cover the testing. I hope you find some answers soon.

Alicia -- That's great news. I hope your numbers drop the rest of the way very quickly.

firefly -- I'll have you in my thoughts next Wednesday.

Lolly -- I'm so sorry to see you here. I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Tiniest Angels]

Updated

[hope0805]

I realized that I never came in here to expressly thank all of you who responded to my post, for which I apologize. All of your views were very helpful in deciding what to do for my colleague. We learned later that she actually didn't lose the baby (long story) but is now on strict bedrest, so now are doing things to try to help with that. I hope that everything goes well with the rest of her pregnancy and I don't need the advice you all provided, but it is very helpful nonetheless to have in the back of my head in case, heaven forbid, she or someone else I know goes through this.

My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced a loss.

[ThreeYell]

Catching up...

firefly - I hope that the next ultrasound shows exactly what you want to see - a beautiful beating heart.

MLA - That sounds like a great preconception visit. The midwife sounds like the polar opposite of your horrible old doc.

Annette - I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you're moving forward with the testing so you can get some answers, and a baby, soon.

ahavnes - Yay for the dropping numbers!

docoNY - Ouch for the wrist! I hope you had a good trip.

Lolly - Welcome, and good luck trying again!

me - We got back from our vacation this weekend. We spent a week at the beach with DH's family. It was great - so relaxing, especially since MIL wanted to watch DS all the time! We didn't have internet there and when I got home, there was an email that one of my good friends was having a miscarriage. It broke my heart. I talked to her last night and she was so sad.

On a happier note, we're now actively TTC. I'm so excited about it. I even bought some pregnancy tests at Target today, just to have on hand. ;) I know it will be hard if it takes a while to get pregnant but right now I'm enjoying the exciting, fun part of the cycle.

[Ferris]

I am sorry for everyone's losses!

I thought I posted in there awhile back, but we got our BFP in July and I am expecting TWINS in March, so could you please move me to Alumni! I still worry about everything but we got to see and hear the heartbeats which is making it easier!

[firefly]

Alicia I hope you get 0's tomarrow.

[firefly]

Congrats Ferris!!! That's just amazing here's to an uneventful 9 mo

[docoNY]

congrats Ferris!!

[Annette]

Congrats again ferris

I have a small vent so please bear with me..

So my mother sent me this book about miscarriages and I started reading it. It talks a lot about how bedrest in the first trimester can help prevent a miscarriage. Now, I thought it really wasn't possible to prevent an early loss. While I was pregnant both times, I did my usual daily routine of going to work, etc and took it easier at the gym since I figured working out was good for me and the doc was okay with it. Now if I had rested instead could I have prevented the losses? Will I have to go on bedrest next time around?

Was anyone here on 1st tri bedrest after your m/c?

[docoNY]

Annette I have never heard of bedrest for women that have had miscarriages and I unfotunately know a lot of people IRL that have had multiple m/c.. was the book published recently? maybe its something from a few years back?

[MLA]

Annette -- I just found this article (http://www.cochrane.org/reviews/en/ab003576.html)on bedrest, and it says there's no real difference:


There was no statistically significant difference in the risk of miscarriage in the bed rest group versus the no bed rest group (placebo or other treatment) (relative risk (RR) 1.54, 95% confidence interval (CI) 0.92 to 2.58). Neither bed rest in hospital nor bed rest at home showed a significant difference in the prevention of miscarriage.

It was published in 2005.

I also found this article (http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/529232), published in 2006, which posits that bed rest may actually be worse for you:


A retrospective study of 226 women showed that 16% of 146 women prescribed bed rest for threatened abortion eventually miscarried compared with 20% of women not prescribed bed rest (P = .41; Minerva Ginecol. 2001;53:337-340). However, in an observational cohort study of 230 women with threatened miscarriage and subchorionic hematoma, 9.9% who complied with recommended bed rest miscarried compared with 23.3% of women who continued their usual activities (P = .03; Isr Med Assoc J. 2003;5:422-424).

[ThreeYell]

Annette - that book sounds either out-of-date or just plain wrong. You could stay in bed forever but that wouldn't stop a miscarriage of a baby with chromosomal problems, a blighted ovum, a mother with untreated clotting problems, etc. From what I've read, first trimester miscarriages are usually from something beyond anyone's control. Please don't blame yourself.

[ahavnes]

firefly-Good luck today! :) Thanks for thinking of my draw this morning.

Ferris-I read about your twins in the May thread. Congrats again! I am thinking they are twin boys for some reason...:)

Annette-I second what everyone else has posted about bed rest. When I was pregnant with Abbey (in 2004-2005), my doctor told me to listen to my body in regards to working out. If I felt like it and it felt ok, then he said I was fine. He did say not to start anything new--like training for a marathon if I wasn't previously a runner. :)

[Kelly51703]

I just took a test and got a BFP. I'm so nervous. It's surgery day at my OBGYN's office so no one is there. I'm going to call the nurse first thing in the morning and talk to her. She knows my history so maybe she can try and squeeze me in for my beta's. The Dr. had mentioned putting me on Progestrone. Does anyone know if I can get a script for this before a beta draw is done? I've been feeling fine. No symptoms what-so-ever. I really hope this one sticks.

[firefly]

Just wanted to update.

We found the heartbeat, then we found another. Both babies are healthy.

I'm in shock and thrilled and scared and mostly just overjoyed.

[ahavnes]

Congrats Firefly! Wow, that's the second set of twins in this thread recently. :)

[Kelly51703]

Congrats Firefly!!! What a relief to hear the h/b. And even more exciting to hear 2!

[ThreeYell]

Wow! So exciting, Kelly and CONGRATULATIONS CONGRATULATIONS firefly!

[MLA]

Congratulations Kelly and firefly! I'm so excited for you both.

Kelly -- I don't know the answer to your question, but my hunch is that they can prescribe the progesterone before you get your betas taken.

[Mrs.Chappy]

wow, congrats firefly!

[firefly]

Kelly CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

I know you can get some otc progesterone creme and rub it onto the soles of your feet and palms. one of my other online friends got some at the local drugstore.

[Annette]

Thanks for easing my concerns. THanks for the article links MLA.The book I have was published in 2005.

Firefly-Congrats on the twins!!!

kelly-Congrats!

Sending both of you lots of sticky vibes.

[docoNY]

wow!! Firefly congrats on your twins!! very exciting!

Kelly congrats and sending you sticky vibes!

[firefly]

Alicia any updates?

[Lolly]

Congratulations firefly on the two HB! Very exciting :)

Also congrats to Kelly! Happy and healthy nine months to you!

[hiphopgirl]

Congratulations Firefly! I am so happy for you and your two babies.

Also, Congratulations to Kelly! I hope you can get in to see your doctor.

I've been hesitant to post this, but I guess I can keep the good news coming. I got a BFP on Friday. I couldn't talk the nurse into getting me in for a blood test, but I did manage to get them to schedule an early u/s. Now if only I can stay relaxed until then...

[firefly]

congratulations hip hop girl. I hope the great news just keeps pouring into this thread.

[sparkle&shine]

Oh my GOSH! Congrats Kelly & hiphopgirl!!

Such good news!

Super Sticky Vibes to everyone!

[Mrs.Chappy]

Forgot to congratulate you, Kelly

[GlamaGal]

Since we're leaking these out, and I already told the gals over in ttc after a loss... we got our BFP this Monday. It was a great big plus sign! I am so happy, but I have to say our m/c is robbing my DH of any joy for this one. He keeps saying, "if you are in fact pg." It kind of hurts my feelings, but nothing can take away the happiness I have right now. He's just dealing with it in his own way. I'm sure after the u/s he'll be excited.

firefly- congrats!! You deserve to bring these happy, healthy babies home! Seeing those two heartbeats had to be such a relief.

Kelly - congratulations!!

Annette - with DD my Dr. just said not to start any activity you didn't do before. I started working out about a month ago, and I'm going to keep up three times a week at least, until/unless I don't feel like it. Now my mom may have another thing to say about that...

Hoping everyone else is doing well.

[Kelly51703]

Congrats hiphopgirl and GlamaGal!!! Wishing you both a H&H 9 months!

Thanks for the congrats everyone.


Originally posted by GlamaGal
He keeps saying, "if you are in fact pg."

DH was saying the same thing last night. I kept thinking "if". You saw the test and you know it's positive so stop saying that :rolleyes:

I called the Dr. this morning and they were going to have me come in on 9/4 for blood work. I told the receptionist I can't wait that long and explained my history to her. I also told her that I left a message with the nurse but the receptionist told me she doesn't return calls until the end of the day, grr. Well 20 minutes later the nurse call me back and she's getting me in tomorrow afternoon for blood work. I won't be seeing my Dr. just the nurse.

[firefly]

Woo Hooo yeah for all the bfp.. praying they are all sticky healthy babies.

[Ferris]

Congrats firefly, hiphopgirl and Kelly!! August was a lucky month! ;)

ahaves My mom, MIL, sister's MIL all would be very sad if it was boy's!:p I just want healthy growing babies!!

[MLA]

Holey Moley! I can't believe all the BFP's in here!

Congratulations hiphopgirl and GlamaGal! And also Ferris (who I don't think I've congratulated in this thread)

[ahavnes]

Congrats Kelly, hiphop girl and glama gal! :)

I got my results back this morning and I am now at 26. I have gone from 510 (2 weeks after surgery) to 131 to 55 to 26. They like to see you at 0 by around 7 weeks after surgery. Apparently that reduces your risk of re-growth. I have 2 weeks to get there.

I hate to say this, but I am feeling really ambivalent about having another baby. I'm still on cancer watch for at least another 6 months, so I guess I have some time to recover from the miscarriage. I just cannot imagine ever being able to handle the worry again. We made it all the way to the end of the first trimester with this baby. We saw the heartbeat twice. How do I get over that? I feel like all of my "assurances" of having a health baby mean nothing. For some reason I am really struggling with that this week. I want another baby, but the thought of being pregnant again scares the #$&* out of me!!!

I'm really sorry to be such a downer, but I would love to hear if anyone else felt this way and for how long. DH is already saying he is fine with one child (she is pretty amazing :)). I mean, I got a freaking tumor from being pregnant! I can't blame him for being a little gun-shy I guess.

I'm really sorry to be such a Debbie Downer amongst all this great news. I really am. I'm just feeling very conflicted and crappy this week.

[Sand]

Congrats to all the BFP girls!!

I must not have given any stats in the last thread (and I know i've been MIA lately) I'm having a very hard time dealing with this 4th loss. I cant seem to shake my horrible feeling and I'm becoming a person I dont want to be. Maybe I buried my feelings too many times now and its all coming back up on me, but I have been getting my feelings crushed a lot lately.

One friend in particular is repeatedly hurting me and this was a friend that I thought would have the most compassion (she is 1/2 way through her IVF pregnancy right now) They couldnt get pregnant. I cant STAY pregnant. I know she thinks her situation was worse than mine simply by all the comments she has made over the last year. She's not at all sorry for them either. The last comment she made as I was a few days into my Methotrexate shot to expel my ectopic pg'ncy was a real killer. Without getting into it as I'm not positive she doesnt know i'm on this site, it was complete disregard for my feelings and she knows this and STILL has not apologized.

When does it become too much heartache to keep a friend? Am I just oversensitive because I've lost 4 babies and she has a healthy boy in her belly? Am I jealous? Or is it simply that I am the ONLY friend in my group of friends that is not pregnant or not a mom and alllll I hear about its pg and babies? Its really wearing me thin (though not literally which would be nice) and I'm not sure how much more I can handle. I'm beginning to wonder if I need to see a therapist. I'm becoming that rotten person who wants to make comments to make others feel akward , and I SWORE I wasnt going to be that girl.

anway... here I am

Sand
me: kristin, 32
dh: chris, 34
ttc: Dec 05
Dx: questionable.
Feb 06 - m/c #1
July 06 - m/c #2
Aug 06 - 1st appt with RE
Sept 06 - sonohysterogram + hysteroscopy for uterine polyp
March 07 - m/c #3
6/07: Femara w/ Ovidrel shot - BFP!
7/07: loss #4 [ectopic pg]

[Sand]

I'm really sorry to be such a Debbie Downer amongst all this great news. I really am. I'm just feeling very conflicted and crappy this week.

This thread is about support as well as hopeful good news. I'm sorry you are having a bad go of it right now. Its not going to be an easy thing to "get over", some days you have to pick yourself up off the floor, and some days you can allow yourself lie there and feel down. Its okay. Let us send you good thoughts and hugs and send you the strength to get by. My middle name has been ambivilent through each time, so I think its pretty common. ;) Hang in there.

[Annette]

Sand-{{{hugs}}I'm sorry to hear about your 4th loss. I'm also sorry that your friend has made it worse for you. I had a second loss recently and I've told my best friends and my mom, who of course then told my grandparents, ugh. The reactions seemed different this time. But then my mom started on the giving advice routine, which is the last thing I wanted to hear. All I wanted were condolences and a sympathy card.
Maybe therapy will be good. What you've been through is difficult and then there's that whole feeling of "I am ever going to have a healthy baby?, Will I ever get past the first tri?"
I don't know which situation is worse, but they are both lousy situations to be in.

[ThreeYell]

ahavnes - Sounds like the numbers are dropping well. I'm wishing them back down to 0 in the next two weeks so at least you can have that worry eased. You're dealing with so much with the partial molar on top of everything else that I can definitely see how you may not ever want to go through pregnancy again. Especially when you have such a great kid already. I've got one of those myself and I know it can make it tempting to stop at one. ;) On getting through the first trimester if you do try again, I don't know why but my fear has lessened as we start TTC again. I did some acupuncture right after my loss and I plan on starting that again when I'm pregnant. I think it really helped my anxiety. I also plan on being "that patient" who's always calling and begging for an extra ultrasound. If there's anything at all I can do to help the fear I'm going to do it and not care if anyone thinks I'm crazy. I don't think anyone who has walked in our shoes (and my doctor had a loss at 14 weeks) would think it was crazy, though.

sand - I'm so sorry your friend hurt you. Experiencing so many losses has got to be one of the hardest things anyone can ever have to deal with. Anyone who would try to suggest that you haven't been through hell is just being cruel. You're in my thoughts.

Annette - I swear, my sister and I are going to get t-shirts made that say "Mom, don't try to fix it. Just listen and be sorry!" I've been thinking about you. When I was starting the new thread I read back through the old one and saw how supportive you and the other ladies had been for everyone else. I'm sorry your family isn't giving you the same support.

[Mrs.Chappy]

Annette..i am also sorry that your family is being like that. My mom always tries to shed light on my m/c (April 07)..friends of ours just lost twins in the 20th week of pregnancy..my mom was like, see?? that's worse..or something to that affect. IMO every situation is different and nothing should be minimized, whether its your first or second m/c or where in the pregnancy you were.

i thought i officially joined the other thread but i guess i didn't list my stats.. maybe i'll come list them later..i feel like my brain is 'forgetting' the exact time of my loss..like something around 9w. we are trying again as of this month and i'm psychologically ready..we will see

[GlamaGal]

Sand- {{HUGS}} I think by now your friend should have done a little research on what NOT to say to someone who has m/c. My gosh, my best friend, who knows she can say anything to me, researched. We go back 10 years and she still has the good sense to take care of me in that way. Sometimes, trials like this show you who your real friends are. I think caller id is a novel item (avoid her calls when you know you don't need to hear her crap that day) and spending a little less time with her ought to give her the idea. If she asks what is wrong, be prepared to let her know that while you are so happy for her, she has said some things to you that have hurt you in the past and when you tried to let her know she dismissed your feelings so you took a break from her. I don't know, as I get older, I find it is better to have a few great friends than a lot of so-called friends I can't count on when I need to. Just IMO! You have been through a lot, so I really feel ticked toward her!!

Alicia- Congrats on your numbers dropping. I completely understand your feelings already having a DD I'm so proud of. Believe me, I feel scared toward this pg. Maybe you just aren't ready yet...and if you never are again that is your right as well. I'm sure you're still grieving, and that is a process unique to each individual.

kelly - So glad you can get in early. Thanks for sharing your DHs sentiments as well...makes me feel more normal!

hiphop- I haven't congratulated you in this thread- congrats! Why do the obgyn's do this to us? I feel like if we are at all worried, they should just let us come in for basic b/w, etc. I mean, we have history there so don't we deserve to know earlier? When is your u/s? Mine is 9/11 (what timing, I know) but I go in the week before for b/w and speaking to their new ob educator.

Annette- My mom and dad got pregnant just by looking at each other. And no problems ever for anyone else in my family! I know my mom said a few things that weren't what I wanted to hear, too.

Thanks for the congrats everyone! I'll have to hang onto this thread for a little while as I need your encouragement and support.

[Kelly51703]

ahavnes Good news on your numbers dropping. It sounds like you'll be down to zero in no time. No need to feel sorry about being a downer. That's why this thread is here.

Sand I'm sorry to hear about how your friend treated you. Sending you (((hugs))).

Annette I'm sorry that your family isn't giving you the support that you need. You always have us :)

[firefly]

Alicia, I have a feeling you'll be down to 0 this week. I just do.

Sand... Friends are stupid, my sil after my loss which we were still thinking was a molar at the time... her loving comment, "hey, at least you can get pregnant. " (she has unexplained fertility) and I said yes but I would rather not keep loosing them, she said "maybe God's just giving you MY babies" lovely.:rolleyes: therapy might help but a few comments to your friends might feel better. :D:o

[ahavnes]

Thank you all so much for your kind responses. It really does help. I know that I shouldn't even be thinking about TTC right now. I need time to put the m/c and cancer scare behind me. BUT, as anyone who has suffered a m/c knows, the first thing you want to do is get pregnant again to "put things back the way they were" (so to speak). I felt that way right after the surgery and I guess I just feel weird b/c I don't feel that way anymore.

Sand- I am so sorry that you are going through this and that your friend is not supportive. Don't you just hate it when people make comparisons as to whose situation is worse? It all sucks! Plain and simple. Women should be supporting each other, not trying to one-up another.

As for dealing with your friend, I really don't think it's terrible to cut a friend loose. I had a friend who was really bringing me down and I struggled long and hard with losing her. In the end, I just decided to cut ties with her. I still miss her, but I found I didn't need that kind of negative energy in my life. What ever you decide to do, do not feel guilty. You have been through A LOT and you have to do what's right for you right now. Hugs to you!

Annette- I am also sorry that you're not getting the support you need from your family.

[hiphopgirl]

Thanks to everyone for the congrats.

GlamaGal- My appt is 9/7, just a few days before yours. I've played around all week with the idea of making up an emergency that would necessitate me coming in sooner. We'll see how I feel next week. Maybe I'll be okay.

Sand - I am so sorry that your friend is being a jerk. It sounds like you might need to cut her out for a bit (or maybe forever). You have enough to deal with. You don't need her bringing you down too.

ahavnes - I'm glad to hear that your numbers are going down. I'll keep hoping and praying that they continue to go down to zero within the next two weeks. I think not wanting another child is perfectly reasonable at this point. Give yourself time to heal.

Annette - I'm sorry your mom is giving you advice. Ugh! Why can't they just be mom's. Hug us and tell us that they love us. That's what we want.

[MLA]

ahavnes -- Of course you're feeling ambivalent and down. Who wouldn't? I think it's totally normal and totally okay for you to feel that way. Please give yourself some time.

Sand -- Your friend is completely out of line. And she should know that, with what she's going through. For now, I'd distance myself from her at least for a while.

Annette -- I'm sorry that your family's not being supportive. Your mom's trying to help, but I know that what she's doing isn't helping.

Count me as another lady not doing so hot lately. From my LJ:

I've been feeling really like I just wish were back in California. I feel so isolated out here. My miscarriage really made me realize that I don't have the people I'm closest to near me -- and the phone's just not the same. I've been feeling really depressed this past week or two, and I just can't seem to shake it. I'm feeling lonely and directionless. And the thing is that I don't want to sound all whiney because I know I don't have it bad, that I have a lot of things to be thankful for, but I just can't seem to focus on them. I'm not real happy in my job. I'm not feeling like I've found a social group out here. The only thing right now that's keeping me going is DH-- and my cats. Otherwise, I'm pretty much a mess. I find myself wanting to cry (and actually crying) a lot of the time. And when I cry, DH does that typically male thing of trying to "fix" whatever's wrong, but that only makes me more upset since I feel like he's just pointing out what a failure I am because I can't seem to make all of his simple solutions work for me. I know that's not how he means it. He's just trying to help, and he loves me dearly and hates seeing me sad, but I just can't help it right now.

I don't know. Maybe my hormones are out of whack from the pregnancy, but I just can't get myself back on track. I feel like the miscarriage just kicked off a series of emotions that I can't handle and made the distance from my best friend and family all that more apparent.

[Annette]

MLA-I felt the exact way during my first m/c. Like you, we also live very far from family and friends that I grew up with. It's okay to cry. Believe me, I did lots of crying that month and DH really didn't understand how to handle it and like your DH he wanted to fix it. Just give yourself time. I have read that after a miscarriage, some people experience a postpartum depression since the hormones are still in flux. Can you plan a visit to see your family? In the meantime, you have us and we all know what your going through and we can try to help. As far as your job, I don't know what advice to offer you. Have you looked for something else? Is it the management thats making your job lousy?

Thanks everyone for your support. I know my mom means well, but I guess she really didn't know how to react especially since she never miscarried herself. I am still getting a little sad now and then, but since i knew from the getgo that this pregnancy wasn't going to work, it was much easier to move on. I never had an u/s with this pregnancy. With the last one I saw the heartbeat. I'll give you all an update on Monday since I have my 2 week follow-up then and I think we're starting the labwork.

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

[lawphil]

[old member of this thread delurking for a moment]

sand - I wanted to let you know that after a loss & unsuccessful fertility treatments I was in a very bad place emotionally. The BEST thing I did for myself was find a therapist that focuses on fertility issues. I had never gone to a therapist before (raised in a very don't complain, it could be worse type of atmosphere so therapy was not a seemingly possible choice). It was amazing to first pour my heart out to someone and then get tools to deal with my grief and be genuinely happy.

Anyway, I would 100% recommend it. It really got me out of the emotional gutter I was in! Good luck. Please take care of yourself.

[MLA]

Thanks, Annette. I was wondering the other night if PPD might be somehow involved in my mood swings. Today I'm doing pretty well. Yesterday and the day before I was a mess. It's a constant roller-coaster that I don't seem to have any control over. I'm glad to hear that what I'm feeling seems to be normal, though I hate that anyone else would have to deal w/these sorts of emotions.
I meant to take the bit out about my job -- It's not a matter of management, as I'm actually the boss; I just have to answer to a board of directors. I think the problem is that I don't much like being the boss and our organization's going through a very tough transition right now. It's just one of those things . . .

Sending good thoughts out to everyone and lots of sticky vibes to our BFP's!

[MrsSpencer]

I've never officially joined..or even talked about my loss..to anyone really. I list it in my stats..but don't talk about it. I just realized the other day..that if I had not lost that baby..it'd be a year old this november..

You girls are always in my thoughts...

[GlamaGal]

MLA- I think anything at this point with your emotions are normal. After I had the m/c, I would cry at night: right after DH would go to bed, into my pillow. Also, peeking in over DD's crib, sappy commercials, etc. I felt so isolated, so- no one understands me (the m/c was never a tear-jerker for DH). This board helped a lot.

MrsSpencer- sorry to hear about your loss. Past or present it's still painful I'm sure.

[MrsSpencer]

MLA When I lost mine I was in TN..and my family was in WV..and I too felt alone. Even though DH was there..I didn't tell him, or anyone really..I just told them something else instead of what the doctor told me. Stupid I know, because it really made me alone, but it would be more real if I had to talk about it. Although because of it..DH and I stopped BDing (I told him other reasons, because we weren't married yet) until two months before we got married. I really hope you'll be able to hold a healthy baby in your arms someday soon. I hope all you girls can do the same..

[Sand]

Thank you ladies for your support and comments regarding my friend and my emotional state. My RE's office gave me the name of a therapist that deals with fertility issues and I am going to call them. I have just hit a wall and I cant snap out of it. I really think trying to keep all these losses in has created a monster.
I ended up leaving a message with my friend that we needed to talk, I see her far too much to let it go, or try to avoid her. If it doesnt go well I'm solid in my choice to take her out of my life as much as I can.

lawphil, thank you for popping in to help me.

MLA, I'm sorry you are feeling alone. Can you take a trip back home and see your friends? Its ok to cry. My DH is similar, he just doesnt know what to say or do but knows he doesnt like to see me sad. Tell him to give you a big hug.

Mrs Spencer, I'm sorry for your loss. This is a great place to talk about it. Whenever you feel like talking. We're here.

Annette, Thinking of you today.

[MrsSpencer]

Thanks

[MLA]

MLA When I lost mine I was in TN..and my family was in WV..and I too felt alone. Even though DH was there..I didn't tell him, or anyone really..I just told them something else instead of what the doctor told me. Stupid I know, because it really made me alone, but it would be more real if I had to talk about it. Although because of it..DH and I stopped BDing (I told him other reasons, because we weren't married yet) until two months before we got married. I really hope you'll be able to hold a healthy baby in your arms someday soon. I hope all you girls can do the same..
Mrs. Spencer -- Thank you so much for your kind words and your understanding. The only people who know about my miscarriage are my parents, DH and BFF (besides my OL friends). It's not something I really feel like sharing with anyone else, so I understand why you kept things to yourself in the beginning. I also wanted to say that I'm so very sorry for your loss.


MLA, I'm sorry you are feeling alone. Can you take a trip back home and see your friends? Its ok to cry. My DH is similar, he just doesnt know what to say or do but knows he doesnt like to see me sad. Tell him to give you a big hug.
I'll be going back to California in January. There really isn't the $$$ or the opportunity to go back sooner. DH has been very good at giving me hugs when I tell him that's all I need. Unfortunately I'm not so great at doing that.

And, sand, I think that therapy's a great idea. I hope it helps you get passed the wall you've seem to hit.


As for me, I'm doing pretty well today. This weekend was okay, all in all. I'm just afraid of the next down turn in the roller coaster, ya know? But I'll take the upswing for now. Hopefully it will last. :)

Sending good thoughts to all you ladies.

[Annette]

Sand-Thanks.

MLA-I'm glad you are doing better today.

me: Went to the doc for a follow-up visit. All checked out well. I had 5 vials of blood drawn and now I just have to wait for those results. Since we're going on vacation soon and it's going to be a long one, I can't schedule my HSG until the following cycle. Ugh, I hate waiting and they only do HSG's right after a period so they know you aren't pg. Then in the meantime, I go back for a 7dpo blood draw to check progesterone. Hmmm.. I wonder what happens if 7dpo falls on a weekend? So I am a little frustrated that we have to wait, so now it looks like we won't TTC till late Oct.

[GlamaGal]

Annette- sorry to hear about how all this waiting is making you feel. I hope it all comes along quickly, and you can get back on the path to TTC before you know it. Take some pain meds before that HSG, I've heard it's a little uncomfortable. But you'll get a clearer picture of what's going on- so worth it!

[jenahdawn]

Hey, all....just checking in.

In almost a month, it will be one year since Katie & Chloe were born. And two days after, I will be 30 weeks with their little sister. Blows my mind.

I'm also weaning off my meds....which is a scary process, since I have been on them since last October or November...

I still have so many mixed emotions about everything, but this pregnancy has been down right boring. (YAY for boring!!!)

We have no idea what we want to do for the girls' first birthday, but I know it will be low key. Maybe just us, going to visit the cemetary and just being with each other all day. I'd actually love it if we could get an ob appt that day to hear Miss Lilly's heartbeat. (The odd thing about our "miscarriage", and some of you know why I call it that....was that they were alive and kicking right until the very end...)

I have an appt (possibly the last) with the psychologist the day after their birthday. Another anxious point. So many changes all at once.

[Eloo]

Eloo
Me: 23
DH: 28
Married: August 11, 2007
M/C: Got a phone call today (8/28) saying that my numbers were dropping and that I was beginning to miscarry. Very light spotting has begun.

We conceived on our wedding night. We weren't trying but were so thrilled to get that BFP. I keep going from being OK to sitting at my desk and crying. I just feel so sad.

Thanks to MLA for pointing me to this thread.

[MLA]

Annette -- I'm sorry you're dealing w/such cruddy timing

Jenahdawn -- I don't think I've ever told you how sorry I am for your losses. I can't imagine what that anniversary will be like. I'm sending you strong thoughts.

Eloo -- I'm so sorry to see you here, but I hope you'll find some comfort in knowing that you're not alone and that there are people who understand what you're going through. That rollercoaster ride of emotions is normal. It sucks. But it's normal.

[Annette]

jenah-Sending you big {{hugs}}. You'll be in my thoughts.
I am glad to hear your pregnancy is going well.
Eloo-I am so sorry that you are starting to miscarry. How many weeks were you?

[Eloo]

MLA and Annette - thank you for the support. I am/would have been 5w2d today.

[MrsSpencer]

I'm so sorry Eloo..I somehow missed your post in the May08 thread...I too had a m/c in March of last year...if you need to talk we're all here. Or if you don't want to..trust me, I understand.

[MLA]

MLA and Annette - thank you for the support. I am/would have been 5w2d today.

I was just one week past where you are right now. The fact that it happens so early seems like it should somehow make things better, but I've not found that to be true. I think that everyone goes through very similar emotions in these situations. Make sure that when you really start to bleed that you make sure to take a good amount of Motrin or some other pain killer, as it's not fun -- not unbearable, but a lot worse than AF cramps were for me. Once I got some Motrin into my system, though, I felt a lot better.

[MrsSpencer]

I guess I didn't tell you girls..but I think I got my BFP...have to confirm it saturday with my doc...so pray that it sticks..and that I am indeed pg..:)

[Eloo]

Aww.. YAY MANDI!!! Congratulations! H&H 9 months to you :)

[Eloo]

Cross posted with my journal:

Last night was not a good night at all. We got home from work and I climbed into bed and cried. Tim sat and held me and I was eventually able to fall asleep for a bit. All throughout the night I would go from holding my own to feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness to crying. I'm not sure I've ever cried for such a long period before. It's a horrible feeling. I was getting some fairly sharp cramps and was spotting a bit which certainly didn't help to boost morale. We weren't very hungry and ended up having ice cream and popcorn for dinner. After dinner he called his mom to tell her what was happening and she started to cry. She was so upset for both of us and concerned about how I was doing. She told him to keep an eye on me and to call if we had any questions (she's a nurse so she may have some advice). After her call I just went down hill. I got ready for bed a little early and just lay there sobbing. Tim eventually made me take a sleeping pill so I would be able to get some rest. Lord knows today would have been hell if I was exhausted on top of everything. I always find it harder to handle things emotionally when I'm over tired.
I've found that I'm afraid of being left alone right now. I don't mean that I'm afraid that Tim will leave me. When I took a nap yesterday I didn't want Tim to leave because I needed to feel him next to me. When I usually fall asleep he'll get up and go into the other room to read or play a video game. We spent most of our time laying together on the couch last night because I needed to feel him. Yesterday during lunch time I was feeling very queasy so he took me home and suggested that he would go to the grocery store to pick up some food (we don't really have anything in the house at the moment) and I couldn't handle the thought of being alone for even 5 minutes. He has been so incredibly good to me. He knows that I'm afraid of being alone so he'll say things like "It's ok.. I'll just be in the other room. If you call me I will hear you and be beside you faster than you can blink." That always makes me feel better.
I feel like I've let him down as far as being his support during these hard times. I'm so broken up about it that I know I can't support him the way he's supporting me. I voiced my concerns to him yesterday and he just smiled and pulled me close. He said that he knows I need him right now and that comforting me not only helps me but is therapeutic to him as well. He says that a lot of the things I've been saying over the last day echos what he's feeling and that it helps him to hear me voice it. I'm really glad that he doesn't feel like he's doing all the comforting and is being left to fend for his own. That is not at all what I want him to feel.
This has rocked my world more than I ever thought it could. *sigh*

[hiphopgirl]

Eloo - I'm so sorry that you had to join this thread, but I'm glad you found it. It has been helpful to me. Everything you posted about rings true with me as well. It was really hard those first few days. My DH was really great about comforting me. I think we need the comforting way more than they do, and it helps them to feel like they are doing something for us. I'm glad he's been there for you.

jenahdawn - This must be a really hard and confusing time right now. I'll be thinking about you on your girls' birthday.

MrsSpencer - Congratulations on your BFP!! H&H 9 months.

[jenahdawn]

Eloo, our first night, we had granola bars, pretzels and m&ms.....popcorn and ice cream is just fine.

[MLA]

MrsSpencer -- Congratulations! H&H 9mos to you and your little one!

Eloo -- I posted over in your journal. I'm sorry you're going through this. But know that your feelings are normal. Totally normal.

[firefly]

Alicia, thinking of you today. Hope it's zero.

[ahavnes]

Thanks Firefly! It hurt like hell today, so I hope it's zero also. :) I am leaving tomorrow for vacation, but I will try to hop on and update my results. I'm no longer considered "critical," so I have to wait a day to get my results now (a good problem to have ;)).

[Mrs.Chappy]

Eloo: i am sorry for your loss. your husband seems wonderful and i am glad you have him to help you through this horrible time at the beginning of your marriage. Totally not the point but DH asked my OB for a prescription for Ambien when i went for my D&C in april. At the beginning i was taking it every night..over the past several months i have found myself taking it less and less..i guess thats what happened with my healing process..over time the sadness became less but i think about our loss often.

Happy to say i'm not taking the ambien b/c we are ttc again so i am nutso about what goes into my system!

[GlamaGal]

Jenahdawn- I've also never told you how sorry I am about your loss. You are a mother, and I know that has to hurt so much to think about your girls' 1st birthday. I would call your ob and tell them that psychologically you HAVE to hear your baby's heartbeat that day. Insist. I wish you a happy delivery and I can't wait until you can hold your little girl in your arms.

Eloo- I am so sorry for your loss. I wasn't much behind you with mine, and it sure does hurt no matter how far along. Your DH is very supportive. I cried alone at night to spare my DH...I have a problem crying in front of people. I think that's great you can do that with him. All I can say is it will get better in time and to take your time grieving.

MrsSpencer- congrats! You've waited for this a long time...hope all goes well at the obgyn.

[firefly]

Alicia, hope you have a great trip ! :)

[Steve's Sweety]

Hi ladies.
I am sorry to see new members here.

Eloo, I am so sorry for your loss, you sound like I did when we lost our May baby last year.
FWIW, I took unisom every night for weeks, and I also took anti-depressants as well as Xanax for anxiety. I wish you continued healing and will be sending thoughts of strength your way.

I hope everyone else is doing as well as they can be. It is coming up on the anniversary of when I got my BFP last year and even being PG again doesn't take the sting away...

So Jenah, I can only imagine how hard it is for you and will be thinking of you lots as you approach the girls' birthday.

{{HUggSS}} to everyone else too.

[MrsSpencer]

Well I went to work today..and had a little cramping and not really spotting..but like light brown tinged CM (sorry if TMI) have an appt tomorrow afternoon..I hope everything is okay...I've been down today..just came home and laid on the couch..feel better now..no cramping and I never bleed or spotted blood at all..so I should be good right?

[GlamaGal]

MrsSpencer- With DD I bled for 7 days. A very light, dark brown "period", I thought. It was a normal, happy& healthy pg! With my m/c, I bled brown first, cramped almost unnoticeable, and then it turned bright red within 24 hours and continued. With this pg, I spotted dark brown just a tad around the time AF would be here.

Yours could be implantation. Also, some people do bleed and it is ok. When I called my dr. during the m/c (which I didn't know was occurring) they asked if it was bright red and/or had clots, and it had. So don't worry unless you see bright red and/or have worse cramping. I hope everything turns out ok for you. Let us know.

[MLA]

MrsSpencer, I'm hoping everything's okay. The fact that it's brown spotting seems like a pretty good sign to me.

[MrsSpencer]

Feel better this morning...baby has my BM messed up I do believe..so I think that's the cramping...spotting has all but stopped and I have a OB appointment this afternoon so they can check and make sure the baby's okay..thanks for the support and kind words..I'll send some babydust to those of you who want it...and some sticky dust to Glama, and whoever else is expecting (and I'm not aware)!

[Eric's Wife]

I just found out that I might be miscarrying. I am about 4-5 weeks along. I had some light brown, diluted spotting today. I got my blood results. The doctor said that the numbers were low and combined with the spotting, things didn't look good. She said that the progest. was low and that the betas were 18. I spoke to my aunt who does sonograms in an OB's office and she said that the doctor probably meant 1800. I tried calling the OB to clarify but they have left for the holiday weekend. I just want to know if I'm definitely miscarrying or possibly miscarrying. I'm so scared. I don't want to get myself worked up emotionally if there is a chance the baby is okay and causing more stress to me and the baby if I don't need to. Any thoughts are welcome. Thanks.

[MLA]

Eric's Wife -- Gosh, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I had a very similar experience w/not being able to get answers from my OB/Gyn when I was going through the early stages of my m/c. I'd say if your betas are only at 18, that sounds pretty bad. But I don't know if they could be that low and you still get a line on a home pregnancy test. I don't think there are any out there that detect anything below 20, so maybe you should test again, just to be sure.

But I'm thinking your doctor must have meant 1800. At 5 wks, I was only at about 310, and I miscarried, even though my numbers did double. 1800 actually sounds pretty good. And brown spotting's not so bad. At least it's an indication of old blood. You may want to read the thread on good spotting stories (http://www.constantchatter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=11319). It may help to ease your mind

I don't understand why your doctor didn't prescribe you a progesterone supplement if it's low. I know there are OTC progesterone creams and such that you can get. Maybe you might want to try that if, for no other reason, it helps you feel like you're actually DOING something about this throughout this long holiday weekend.

Again, I'm sorry you're dealing with this uncertaintly. It's so scary not to know what's going on with your body.

[Eric's Wife]

MLA thank you so much for your advice. I was thinking the same thing about the numbers being 18 and pregnancy tests catching it at 20. Silly question, where do i apply the prog. cream?

[MLA]

MLA thank you so much for your advice. I was thinking the same thing about the numbers being 18 and pregnancy tests catching it at 20. Silly question, where do i apply the prog. cream?

You're welcome! I've never used it, but I believe you can apply progesterone anywhere on your body. I've heard of people using it on their inner thighs, but I think that you're not supposed to apply it to the same place too many times in a row, though, since it can cause skin irritation or discoloration or something or other like that.

There's a thread (http://www.constantchatter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7868)on progesterone. I don't know if they talk about the cream in it, but you might want to read it over.

[MLA]

Also, I just found this article (http://www.altmednetwork.net/articles/nat_progest_preg.html)on progesterone cream and miscarriages:


The amount of transdermal natural progesterone you use to get or stay pregnant is no more than the amount recommended for perimenopausal and menopausal women: 20 to 30 milligrams a day. The timing is important, however.

How to use progesterone to prevent miscarriage. Women who wish to use progesterone cream to prevent miscarriage should do so as soon as they know they have ovulated. (Do not use it before confirming ovulation with a home test - otherwise, you could end up inhibiting ovulation with the supplemental progesterone.) Once a pregnancy test confirms that you have conceived, continue the progesterone cream for at least the first nine weeks of pregnancy, when the placenta begins to make the hormone. Taper off the supplemental progesterone to ensure that there's no sudden drop in levels.

<snip>

If you're trying to get pregnant, using progesterone cream can suppress ovulation. Don't use it until after you know you have ovulated. You can find out whether you've done so by taking your temperature each morning before you rise (it will go up slightly when you ovulate), or by using home ovulation tests available at drugstores.

After that, use the cream each day, smoothing it onto your neck, breasts, belly, and inner arms, rotating the application area. Once you've gotten through the first trimester, you can taper off (don't stop abruptly) - your body will soon be producing more than ten times what you use transdermally! You don't need to stop using it during the second or third trimesters, but it's really a drop in the bucket of what the placenta produces.

[Foofie357]

Hi,

An Alum here. Just checking to update everyone as the anniversary of my due date is approaching. I had a beautiful baby boy on March 16th. He is now almost 6 months old. I love him to death, but not a day goes by that I don't think about the baby I lost. Her due date was sept 28th and as each day gets closer I think about her more. I would have a one year old now, walking and talking. I will go the grave site soon and see her. Anyway, more than a year later, a beautiful baby later and it still seems so raw.

I wanted to comment on the progesterone cream. I think I used emerita?? cream. I am convinced it is what sustained this most recent pregnancy. I used it from about 7dpo and applied it to the under part of my forearm. I used it until 12/13 weeks I believe. I will never know as my progresterone was never tested with my miscarriage.

I am sorry to see each and every new member. <Hugs>

Steff

[Ferris]

Foofie I am sorry for what you are going through.


Me We lost one of our twins to vanishing twins syndrome. We found out last week. Even though we have one healthy baby still growing I have had 2 losses in 3 months and it sucks. Like foofie I wonder if I will ever be able to look at my little one growing in my belly without thinking of the other!:( I am so lucky to have a healthy one growing inside, but are still mourning the loss of another. It causes a lot of guilt trips for focusing on the loss instead of the baby still thriving.

[MLA]

Oh, Ferris, I'm so sorry.

[Annette]

foofie-I am so sorry for your loss.

ferris-I am so sorry for your loss.

{{{hugs}}} to both of you.

[Lolly]

Ferris, I'm sorry to hear that. :(

me: in the 2ww. I would really, really like it to be our month but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I'm not sure how I'll hold out if I get a BFN. Also found out that my husbands cousin is pregnant and due in January. Very happy for her but her husband just left for the middle east and won't be back until next summer. They already have 2 little girls but she'll be getting a lot of help from family at least.

[docoNY]

Ferris I am sorry to hear that - hope you are doing ok!

[hiphopgirl]

Ferris - I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how conflicted you must be feeling right now.

Eric's Wife - Were you able to go see your doctor yesterday? I hope everything is alright and that it was just a scare.

Lolly - Good luck in the 2WW.

Foofie - This must be such a hard month for you. I hope you have friends and family around who can comfort and understand.

[GlamaGal]

Ferris- I am so, so sorry to hear this. Don't feel guilty for feeling sad and happy at the same time. It is still a loss and you have to deal with that in time.

Lolly- good luck! Just DTD a lot!!

Foofie- Thinking of you. You've got a lot on your plate with a newborn, and it's harder to deal with a loss in some ways when you've got a miracle in front of you. It's okay to cry.

[firefly]

Alicia. Hoping your just out celebrating your vacation.

[Alanna]

Hi everyone.

I am so sorry to see all the new members since i was last here.

As some of you might remember I had a m/c at 8 weeks 3 days in June.

we got another BFP on august 29th and it looks like this one is a chemical pregnancy. :(

my betas are low - and I started spotting yesterday - but now the spotting has stopped completely.

I was wondering for those of you who have gone through a chemical pregnancy - did you go through something similar... I just expected to have full blown bleeding today... anyway... if anyone is willing to share their experience - I would be grateful.

[MLA]

Alanna -- Mine wasn't a chemical pregnancy, but it was a very early m/c. I did start w/some spotting that stopped. About a week later the full-on bleeding began.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It's just not fair. :(

[Lolly]

Alanna, I'm sorry you have to be dealing with this. Hopefully, it turns out not to be a chem. pregnancy and your betas keep rising. Do you know what your numbers were?

[Alanna]

thanks for your quick response MLA... i wonder when this will all start for real...

Lolly - my numbers werent good - I dont think there is really any hope -

13 DPO - 30
19 DPO - 87

[MLA]

Alanna -- You're right that your numbers don't look too good, but there's always hope. Until you start truly bleeding, I think there's hope. I have my fingers crossed for you!

[Mrs.Chappy]

Alanna, i'm hoping and praying for you

ME: Speaking of numbers, i don't have the faintest idea about them..i got my bloodwork back today: Progesterone was 24.2 and Betas/HcG were 510. i had the test done at 14 DPO..i have an early u/s sched for monday. The NP initally said that the point where i am in my pregnancy didn't make sense w/ the numbers that came back,.i told her exactly when we DTD and she seems to think that i got pregnant on 8/22 and then the numbers make sense..still, i'm on edge.

[ahavnes]

firefly-I got back on Tuesday evening, but had to cancel my blood draw Wednesday b/c I got a concussion on the last day of my vacation. Heaven forbid I stay away froma hospital for too long! :rolleyes: I had the draw done today and should have the results tomorrow. I will keep you posted. As always, thanks for thinking of me!

[firefly]

oh no! Sorry about the concussion. Are you doing okay? (w/ re: the concussion)

[Annette]

quick question
Without an u/s, can the doctor tell with the #'s that you are having a chem preg vs a regular preg?
Maybe my last pg was a chem pg since my numbers were really low and never doubled?

[hiphopgirl]

Sorry, I'm going to make this post all about me for a second.

I just got back from the doctor's, and the u/s didn't show anything. We saw a gestational sac and a yolk sac, but no baby. According to LMP I'm 7w. According to temping, I'm 6w4d. I expected to see something. The doctor is neutral right now. She's neither pessimistic nor optimistic. She kept saying things like "this is your first cycle after the m/c, maybe the dates are off". I told her that I was charting, but she still seems to think that we are not out of it yet.

I got a blood draw and I'll do another one Monday to see if my levels are going up appropriately. She also gave me progesterone supps to hold me over until I get the results.

I just don't know what to think. I'm really, really scared.

[Alanna]

Annette - my mw described a chemical pregnancy is one that "never gets off the ground" so to speak. So i would think in her eyes if your numbers started and stayed low that would fit her definition.

when i was trying to find info yesterday i ran into this thread that gives a definition too.

What does chemical pregnancy mean? (http://www.constantchatter.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2073)

hiphopgirl - i don't know the answer to your question - but I will be hoping and praying for you to get a good result!

Mrs. Chappy and MLA - thanks for keeping me in your thoughts... i went for my third beta today - i should have the results hopefully on sunday - i just would like something definitive to happen.

[MLA]

Oh, hiphopgirl, I'm so sorry you don't have any answers. It's so upsetting not to know what's going on with your body. I hope that the blood draw on Monday brings good news. You'll be in my thoughts.

Alanna -- I'm still sending good vibes your way. I hope that the results are good.

[ThreeYell]

I've been feeling pretty quiet lately but I wanted to say I'm sorry about the ultrasound hiphopgirl. I know that's got to be so scary. I really, really hope the dates do turn out to be off and that the next time you see a healthy baby. I'm thinking about you.

Mrs.Chappy, I'm thinking about you too. I was so happy to see so many ladies graduating in the TTC threads and I hate for all of you that things are making you worry.

Alanna, you too. I'm sorry about the frustrating numbers and I hope you get your answers soon.

me - AF just arrived after our first cycle TTC. I'm taking it pretty hard. This last pregnancy I got pregnant on the first try. At the time I thought it was crazy. I mean, who gets pregnant on the first try? But then I had it in my head that I did once, so I would again. No such luck. I was so excited at the beginning of this cycle and now I'm just pissed that I'm back to the beginning, again.

[MLA]

me - AF just arrived after our first cycle TTC. I'm taking it pretty hard. This last pregnancy I got pregnant on the first try. At the time I thought it was crazy. I mean, who gets pregnant on the first try? But then I had it in my head that I did once, so I would again. No such luck. I was so excited at the beginning of this cycle and now I'm just pissed that I'm back to the beginning, again.

I'm sorry about AF. I hope that next cycle's the one for you. I can really understand where you're coming from. We'll be TTC for the first time since m/c this cycle. The pregnancy that I lost we achieved our first cycle of trying, so I'm also sort of hoping that this cycle of TTC will be it for us. If it isn't, I think I'm going to be pretty crushed, too.

[Mrs.Chappy]

Sorry about AF ThreeYell..we did conceive on our first try both times actually all three but (in feb we weren't serious about it) Anyway, my heart raced when my 10 DPO day approached andi was thinking how upset i'd be if we didn't get it on this first time. However, yeah, so many people take a few cycles to conceive but i guess when you don't know any different it hurts. here's to your next cycle.

[ahavnes]

firefly-No numbers today. I called and was told the doctor had the chart and they would call me back. When they did, I missed the call and got stuck in a meeting. Now I have to wait all weekend, bah! Seriously though, I am not concerned. Just hoping to be at zero. :) I'm ok from the concussion, just a bit dizzy and tired. I go on Tuesday for a check with my regular doctor. Thanks for asking. :)

ThreeYell-I'm really sorry about AF. I'm hoping this cycle turns out better for you. Like MLA said, our 2 pregnancies were on the first try also, so I can see how it would be frustrating not to have that happen again. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts this month.

Alanna-Waiting for those beta numbers is nerve-wracking. I hope you find out something definitive soon (hopefully positive!).

hiphopgirl-I'll be keeping you in my thoughts for sure.

Mrs.Chappy-I think 510 at 14 DPO sounds great! My beta was only 45 at 12 dpo and my doctor thought that was fine (fwiw, it did end up being fine-the m/c had nothing to do with low numbers). 510 sounds terrific! Wishing you the best of luck.

[Mrs.Chappy]

ahavnes..thanks..we cross posted. your encouragement means a lot (i tend to hang on to every thing i read this days)

[firefly]

mrs chappy. my beta at 13 dpo was 167 and at 15 dpo was 479 and I'm having (healthy) twins.

[Annette]

hiphop-I hope that everything turns out well for you.

mrs.chappy-your #'s look really good.

alanna-hope you get some good news.

[kphillips4]

Alanna - You know that I am sending lots of prayers your way! Keep us updated.
MrsChappy- Your numbers look great...I think you are defintely on your way! Good luck with the US on Monday.
Hiphopgirl - I am thinking about you and sooo sorry you are having to go through this. {{{HUGS}}}
Me: I don't know that I actually officially joined this thread now that I look at the members but I *think* I am moving to an alum anyways. My MC as many of you remember was back in March. I am now 11W pregnant and things seem to be going well. It's really scary and I worry about everything since having my MC but please send good thoughts and prayers for a healthy next few months. My due date is March 29th. Thanks for all of the support that you girls have given.

[Kelly51703]

HipHop Just wanted to let you know that I also went in for an early ultrasound and all we saw was an empty yolk sac. I was devastated. It is normal not to see anything this early. I have my fingers crossed for you. I hope everything turns out ok.

[jenahdawn]

Just a quick update:

We are now at closer together appts, and the next just naturally fell on the girls' birthday, but even if it didn't, the doctor was all ready to set us up to hear Lilly's HB on her sisters' birthday.

I'll be off my depression meds 4 days before that....I'm worried.

And....FAILED my GD test with flying colors. *grumble, grumble* Why can't we all get a free pass once we've had a loss???? (Note, I said A loss, meaning, if you HAVE to go through it, you should ONLY have to go through it once....why can't I run the world?)

[Alanna]

Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts you all have sent my way.

Unfortunately - we got our definitive answer - I started bleeding on saturday and there is no doubt that i am miscarrying.

to complicate matters - i got my betas back from friday and they continued a slight rise (from 87 to 117) so now i have to go and another beta done today :rolleyes:

hopefully they will have fallen substantially so that i dont have get them done anymore. this will be my 4th beta draw and frankly im really sick of going in there.

my m/w gave me the option of getting some bloodwork done to see if we can figure out if there is a problem with me. I didnt think i wanted to do it at first - but now im leaning towards it - i think it will make me feel better if i am doing something to prevent this from happening again if at all possible.

has anyone got any advice regarding the initial bloodwork that goes into this sort of thing?

mrs_chappy - Im thinking of you and hoping that things continue looking good!

three yell- im sorry to hear about AF - here's hoping you will be lucky next cycle!

[ahavnes]

I got my betas back today. I am at 9. Ugh!!! I have been going every week for 8 weeks. I am so over it. I'm really sorry to complain b/c atleast they are going in the right direction and I don't need chemo (knock wood), but I am just so, so sick of going to get stuck every Wednesday morning. My fear of needles is not getting any better. If anything, it's getting worse. :mad: I've also missed the "deadline" of getting to 0 by 7 weeks post surgery (which is the optimal scenario). Oh well, like I said, it could be so much worse.

jenahdawn-Thinking of you this week. Even though the girls' b-day has passed, it still must be a hard time for you. Doubly sorry about the GD test. I really think we should run the world and get a little bit of a free pass from all things awful for a while. :)

Mrs. Chappy-I just remembered. There is a website called Beta Base that has average betas for different DPO's. (I can't remember the exact name, but it will come up with Google I'm sure.)

Alanna-I'm so sorry for your loss.

[MLA]

ahavnes -- I can only imagine your frustration. You're so close, now! I really hope that you reach 0 by your next appointment.

jenahdawn -- You're in my thoughts. I'm glad that you'll be able to hear the heartbeat on that anniversary. I hope it brings you some comfort.

alanna -- I'm so, so sorry. I hope you can figure out what's going on so that this never happens to you again. You're in my thoughts.

[firefly]

Oh Alicia. I'm sorry. I hope this ends soon for you.

[ahavnes]

firefly-Thank you. I really shouldn't complain b/c a few good things have come from all of this. For one, I have nearly forgotten about the pain of losing the baby after suffering through the whole first trimester. It really does take your mind off of that horror. And, it pretty much (temporarily-I hope) erases any desire to get pregnant again. ;)

[firefly]

alicia, sorry but that made my lol. kinda like the anology of stubbing your toe after hitting her thumb with a hammer. I can tell you after it was all over for me which was just about 8 weeks I think I went for about a month of not wanting any more kids. I had 2 life was perfect but then slowly i started getting more and more obsessive about wanting a baby and it was meant to be, I guess.

I still hope it ends for you soon.

[Mrs.Chappy]

Alicia..hugs..you are strong!! hang in there.

I had an u/s today and saw the yolk sac..the tech said i am measuring at 5 weeks so based on that and my probably conception/ovulation date we are going w/ 5-12-08. I had 5 vials of blood taken, two urines and am returning in 10 days for another u/s. The pelvic was no fun either. i was basically like, do whatever you need to do..i'm so not attached to this yet (though i want to be). I won't calm down until i'm 11 weeks.

[Eric's Wife]

Alicia: I'm so sorry.

I have a predicament....I had a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage at the end of August. My old ob/gyn had said that I wouldn't need to wait another cycle to start TTC again. Today I met with a new OB/GYN (my previous one is no longer an OB) and he suggested that I wait a cycle or two. Here's the part that is making my brain hurt....whose opinion do I go with...someone who has seen me before and after the chemical pregnancy or someone who has only seen me (no examination) once......let me add that I am a teacher and I really want to time it with summer vacation which is june through middle august. If I get pregnant now, it'd be early june. I really don't want to take off at the beginning of the school year. My miscarriage was very mild and happened extremely early (4 and a half weeks). What would you do? (sorry for being so long winded)

[GlamaGal]

Alicia- hope it's zero soon!

Alanna- so, so sorry for your loss.

MrsChappy- sounds good for you!

Eric'sWife- Frankly, I'd go ahead and TTC. I haven't read anything to say you need to wait. Only in very specific cases do you need to wait.

ThreeYell- That dang AF!! I was hoping and thinking I'd hear good news from you. Happy next cycle.

HipHop- I'm hoping that the u/s results are ok. Could you maybe not be as far along as you think? I guess each baby grows on it's own time schedule. I really hope it means nothing. Will they do another u/s end of this week? Sorry if you told us their next course of action already...

me- well reading this has made me more worried than ever. I have our first u/s tomorrow and HipHop is just a few days farther along than me. So I am scared!! I was scared with DD as well, but at 6 wk. we saw a h/b. I am very sure about the conception date (if anything, I could be farther along, but doubtful). I have been living for this u/s tomorrow, and I just can't take it if I don't see everything that "should" be there. To top it off, we have a funeral to go to right afterward.

[MLA]

Eric'sWife -- I think it's a pretty commonly held understanding that there's no risk to TTC immediately after an early m/c. The reason that many doctors want you to wait a cycle or two after a m/c to try again is because if you get pregnant right after a m/c, it can be difficult to date the pregnancy. The first cycle post m/c is often sort of weird, so you may not ovulate when you normally do, etc. But if you're charting, you'll know when you conceive, so it's not an issue. And even if you're not charting, the difficulty in dating a pregnancy isn't necessarily a big enough reason not to try again. So, I say go w/your first doctor's advice and get started ttc.

GlamaGal -- I hope that your appointment goes smoothly and you have no reason to worry!

[hiphopgirl]

Glamagal - I'm sorry to have scared you. I will say this; in hindsight I wish I didn't go for an early u/s. Even if there had been a baby with a h/b I don't know that I would have felt any better. I'd be waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.

Eric's wife - I'd do what feels right for you. There is no medical reason to wait. The only reason to wait is purely emotional.

That being said, I wish I had waited. I cried when I got the BFP because I was so scared of having another m/c, and now it looks like I'm having another one. Two m/c in under 6 months is more than I was emotionally prepared for. I don't know if there is a time to be prepared for another loss, but 2.5 months is definitely not enough time.

I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my body. I don't know when I will feel ready to try again. DH and I talked about it a little last night. I'm not ready to make any decisions. I know that. I just don't know when I will be ready, and I had to tell him.

I guess I should update as to why I am certain that I am m/c again. I got my numbers back, and according to the first number they should have seen something in the u/s. Since they didn't I guess there is something wrong. I have a follow-up u/s on Thurs., but I don't know why. I guess I just need it for closure. I need to put this behind me somehow. I'll admit that there is the teeny-tiniest part of me that keeps thinking it's all been a big mistake.

[Lolly]

hiphopgirl I'm praying that it was just a little too early and that you'll see something on Thursday. I've read lots of stories where they go back the next week and then its there.

Eric's Wide I agree that there is no reason why you would have to wait. I say go with the first doctors response. I went right back into TTC right after my first period after the D&C.

Alicia, Ugh, so frustrating. I hope its zero by tomorrow.

Glamagal, thinking of you and hoping the appointment goes well today.

Alanna, I'm so sorry :(

Hi, MrsChappy!

ThreeYell, I hope this cycle brings you good news :)

me, well, I got a BFP. Took 7 tests in a week and yesterday's test was definitely a line. Happy, but scared sh!tless!!! Got tests done last Friday (which I think should have been 10 DPO). Beta was 45 and Prog. was 14.66. The nurse thought the numbers were good considering how early I was that day. So I don't think they want me back in for any more bloodwork. My first appt/ sonogram is 9/26 and I'm really, really hoping I see something by then. I had a sonogram with my DD at 6w something and I was able to see a HB too. So...I'm going to try not to worry though. (easier said then done).

[sparkle&shine]

hiphopgirl ~ I just wanted to offer hugs and some encouragement. Some babies just grow a little slower at the start. If you go look on fertilityfriends preg site there is an u/s gallery and you can see just how much they can vary. I would be a big mess too but don't give up hope until after your u/s on thurs. I am crossing my fingers that you will get good news!

Eric's Wife ~ My Doc. told me that I didn't have to wait so we didn't. I would go for it!

GlamaGal ~ I hope that your u/s went well!

Lolly ~ Congrats Again!

[Eric's Wife]

Thanks for all of the advice.

Congrats lolly!!!!!!

[jenahdawn]

Eric's Wife,

A friend of mine (actually, married to an Eric as well!) just had her son in March and had the rest of the year and all summer off.

But, when it came down to it, they tried for two years and the first few months it was all about "timing" the time off. Eventually, they said, "We don't care, when it happens, we will do whatever we have to do."

[GlamaGal]

Ladies, thanks for all of the encouragement. Last night I could barely sleep. I was all worked up.

We saw a h/b and a fetus that measured 7 w 1 d (I'm at least 6 w 4 d) so that was reassuring. For some reason, I think that this pg will be healthy and zero problems from here. Maybe that's my positive attitude to cover up the fact that I know things can happen after seeing a h/b. Either way, there's nothing I can do about it but enjoy this ride as it comes.

[sparkle&shine]

I am so happy for you GG! I hope that you are right and the rest of this PGcy is smooth sailing!

[Mrs.Chappy]

Hi Lolly!!

GG..so happy that you saw the hb..stay positive.

HipHop, Hugs..please keep us posted.

[firefly]

hoping your stick wasn't too bad today Alicia and that it's your last for a while.

[ahavnes]

Thanks firefly! You know, I had a distinct feeling as I was leaving that I wouldn't be back next week for a draw. But then again, I also had the number "2" pop up in my head (although I have yet to be right in any of my predictions in the last 9 weeks!) :o For the record, I am going to be P*SSED if it's 2, since my OB requires an absolute zero. :cool:

[firefly]

maybe it means there's a number 2 in your future? distant future of course ;) (i concieved 7 mo after my pseudo molar pregnancy got to 0)

[GlamaGal]

hiphop- thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow.

Thanks for everyone's well wishes. We have told some more people so I'm just going with it. As a side note, they have earlier tests this time around, so now all I do is worry something is wrong with the baby. I would never terminate, but DH is not so "we'll love what we get" so I hope we don't have to cross that bridge. Men never are as fearless as us.

[Lolly]

hiphop, thinking of you.

[Eloo]

Hi Ladies. I'm not sure this is the right place for this, but I have to ask...

Two weeks ago yesterday was when I started to miscarry, and it went on for a week. I started spotting again this Tuesday and have been bleeding like crazy since yesterday afternoon. Is this normal? Is my body resetting itself back to normal? It's kinda wierd...

[hiphopgirl]

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts.

Here is the state of me: I went back to the doctor this morning and I opted not to get a u/s. I didn't want to find out. I'm not ready to bid farewell to this pregnancy just yet. The problem is that I still feel very pregnant. In fact I'm dying with heart burn as I type this. Based on my Betas and the fact that there wasn't anything visible at the first u/s, the OB is "95%" sure that I am going to miscarry.

I told her that I was still going to hold on to that 5% of hope just a little bit longer. I would prefer to m/c naturally. If that is what God has in store for me I'd rather just find out the way most people do - when there's blood.

I've read some encouraging stories on this website (http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/). Perhaps it is giving me false hope, but at this point I'll take any kind of hope.

If you all are the praying type, will you please pray for a miracle? If I'm not going to get that miracle pray that I have the strength to deal with this loss. I fear it will be hard for me when I have to face it for real.

[ahavnes]

firefly-We were both wrong. It wasn't a 2 and it definitely wasn't a 0. :mad: It came back at 6 this week. At least it's going down, but COME ON!!! From 9 to 6 in a whole week? Aye yi yi! :o DH doesn't get why I am upset. Hmmm, maybe it's b/c we're going on my 10th week of needle sticks and playing this game. Ugh.

hiphop-Definitely praying for you this week.

[firefly]

Oh Damn! Alicia. Poor Girl this is getting rediculous, The only good news is that it's going down, and not up. will your dr 'do' anything if it continues on this slowly? or just more and more sticks?

[GlamaGal]

hiphop- you will remain in my prayers. You are showing such strength already. I'm opting for that 5% for you!

[MLA]

hiphop -- I don't pray, per se, but you're in my thoughts. I'm hoping that you're part of the 5%.

[ThreeYell]

hiphop - I am praying with all my might for you.

ahavnes - Ugh! I can only imagine your frustration. I can't wait for all this to be over for you.

Eloo - sorry, but I don't know what the bleeding means. Have you called your doc?

GlamaGal - continued good thoughts for you.

I was just at my sister's birthday party and a friend of BIL's came up to say hi to me. I'd only met him one time before at another party when we had just announced our pregnancy, which we lost a few weeks later. He said "weren't you pregnant last time I saw you?" Um, yeah I was. And I was due at the same time as your wife, jerk. Now she looks 7 months pregnant and I don't. Do the math. I just couldn't believe someone would say that. Even though everyone knew I was pregnant, almost no one has said anything like that. I guess basic politeness tells most people that if someone doesn't look pregnant, you shouldn't ask them any questions about being pregnant. This guy obviously didn't get the memo. It was a great party but that really wrecked my evening.

[ahavnes]

ThreeYell-What a rude jerk! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

firefly-I haven't talked to the doctor about his course of action yet. I did read somewhere that as long as it goes down by at least 10% each week, I am ok. Ugh. It's a damn good thing I am not eager to TTC #2. :o At the rate we're going, it will be a while.

[Taylandra]

After waiting for six days, I got my answer that I have miscarried. If you ladies don't mind, I think I'd like to join for some support on the icky days.

Name: Cassie, 24
DH: Michael, 25
Married: 5/21/05
M/C: September 8, 2007 @ 6w 3d

So far, the dr is just saying that there is no particular reason for the miscarriage and there's no reason to worry about getting pregnant in the future. I'm just tired after this getting drawn out for the week. I'm afraid that I'll just spend the entire time worrying the next time I'm pregnant instead of enjoying it.

I feel bad b/c I snapped at my mom yesterday. She kept calling me to see if I had heard from the doctor. The third time she called, I picked up and said, "I don't know anything. I will tell you when I hear something." Of course, she called as soon as I walked in the door after work wanting to know what I had heard. I know she meant well, I just felt so crowded.

I'm not really caught up on what's recently been going on in this thread, but I'm sorry that the guy said that to you, ThreeYell. That seems like something that he should have known better to keep to himself.

[MLA]

ThreeYell-- Amazing how absolutely dense and unthinking people can be. I'm sorry he said that to you.

HipHop -- You're in my thoughts

Alicia -- WTH? I can't believe it's only down to 6. I was so hoping it would be 0 this time. I hope you only have one more needle prick to deal with.

GlamaGal -- Woot! Yay for hearing the heartbeat! :D

Eloo -- Posted in your journal, but wanted to say again that your first cycle after m/c can be really weird. If I were you, though, I'd put in a call to my doctor just to be sure everything's okay.

Taylandra -- I'm so sorry to see you joining our ranks. I'm sorry for your loss.

[Sophia]

Sophia
Me: 38
DH: 36
DS: Sept. 1992
DD1: Apr. 1995
DD2: July 2006
M/C 1: Dec. 2003
3 chemical pgcies: early 2004
M/C 2: Sept. 2007

I found out I was pg. on Aug. 17, and I was excited but also nervous because of my history. When I went to the OB for my first appt. on Sept. 5 the gestational sac looked empty, but because I had been lactating when I conceived and had only had one PPAF, plus I had always Oed late, she ordered BETAs. It had been empty my first appt. for DD2, and things turned out ok, so I focussed on that. I got the numbers back and they were rising, but not doubling. The numbers from my pgcy with DD2 started at around the same level and doubled. So I was worried. The OB wanted to take a wait and see attitude, which is good, but the not knowing was stressful. I had another u/s this past Wed. and the gestational sac was still empty, but there was a good chance it was still to early to tell. I had been spotting light red and having mild cramps, so she ordered pelvic rest and told me to take it easy all weekend, and she ordered more blood work and set up another appt.

At around 9 last night my mild cramps got wickedly painful and I started bleeding heavily with occasional clots the size of peach pits. For several hours I was in pain (like 2003, the severe cramping felt like early labor, although this time it felt like back labor). DH called the OB at about 11, and she said that it sounded like it was progressing to a miscarriage and I could take ibuprofin for the pain. The really bad pain lasted till around 1 when either the ibuprofin kicked in or it died down on its own. I fell asleep. I woke up at 8 this morning feeling mostly ok, but now the pain from the cramps is starting to come back, so I took another ibuprofin. I haven't had the m/c conformed yet, but I'm 99.9% it's over.

I haven't cried since the m/c started last night. Maybe I'm still numb. I had cried after each of my apointments, and a few other times as well, and I think I had already come to terms with the likelyhood this wouldn't work out. But I still feel sad that I'll never get to meet this baby we had been so excited and happy about. I don't know if we'll try again. We'd been SWH. DH already said maybe we should just stop and that we should focus on how lucky we are to have DD2.

[Sophia]

OMG, ThreeYell, what a jerk!

[Tiniest Angels]

updated

[ThreeYell]

Taylandra and Sophia, I'm so sorry to see both here.

Sophia, I had noticed the new pregnancy in your sig and was so happy to see it. Your DD in your avatar is so adorable. I was looking forward to another one for you. :(

[GlamaGal]

ThreeYell- I was so ticked to read what happened to you! What a complete idiot. Let's feel bad for his wife, too. I know my DH would never act like that. I'm sorry it ruined your evening. Comments like that just jerk you back to the pain so easily.
Taylandra- I'm glad you migrated over here. These are some wonderful, thoughtful, helpful women. Again, so sorry for your loss.
Alicia- your struggle is always in my thoughts. I hope for ZERO for you soon.
Sophia- so sorry for your loss. I agree that DD in your avatar is so precious. My DH is also like, maybe we should just stop after this one. After the m/c, and hearing all about the nuchal fold test and the cystic fibrosis test, he is freaking a little bit.
Eloo- hope things get back to normal for you. I agree with MLA, things down there may be a little odd for a while, and a variety of things can be expected. Not totally related...I remember after having DD the discharge paperwork said, 'if you pass anything larger than an egg ', call your Dr. I thought, if I pass anything NEAR the size of an egg, I'm calling 911!

[Mrs.Chappy]

Taylandra and Sophia, you are in my thoughts.

I had some spotting with my pregnancy two nights ago into yesterday. i was so freaked i woke DH up at 4 am. i was amazed i was able to fall back asleep. Anyway, i saw the spotting once or twice more after that but no more. Obviously i am a nut case. I do have a f/u u/s this wednesday. My OB practice is being aggressive w/ me and i had an u/s last week and again this week. I know some women just spot w/ pregnancy..i did w/ DS at 11 weeks and around 6 weeks with my last pg that ended in m/c. Clearly i'm trying to be optimistic but i am so nervous. I guess the best i can do is take it easy and drink water.

[Mrs.Chappy]

adding that after i posted last night..i spotted pinkish for about 3 hours...before bed. i was hysterical. Today, so far, it seems better. i'm scared. DH thinks that if it continues today (sun) i should call the OB..but i feel like i dont want to 'bother' him.ah, what should i do?

[ThreeYell]

I'd call, Mrs.Chappy. That's what they're there for. Thinking of you, hoping this turns out to be nothing...

[Eric's Wife]

I'd call too. I was hestitate to call when I went through my m/c because I figure she already knew it was going to happen due to my low hcg levels but I was so glad I did.

Sophia: you're in my thoughts

[MLA]

Sophia -- I'd been lurking over in the April Mommies thread (because that's where I would have been had I not had my m/c), and I saw your posts about all this. I was really pulling for you and hoping that it would turn out okay. I'm so sorry it hasn't. Keep taking that ibuprofen. The doctor who saw me when I was in the midst of my m/c told me I could take as many as 6 at a time if the pain was super-intense. I did that once, and it knocked out the pain. After that, I just needed to take one or two to keep the pain at bay. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

Mrs.Chappy -- I'm hoping for the best for you. I can't imagine how scared you must be. Definitely call your doctor. You may feel silly calling, but you shouldn't. They're there for a reason. And if he makes you feel like you're "bothering" him, then maybe he's not the right doctor for you. <<Hugs>>

[Alanna]

Mrs_Chappy: I am thinking of you too today - If you still want to call - I would definitely call. This is exactly the sort of situation they should be okay with hearing from patients in.

Sophia: I am so sorry to hear about your loss. :(

As for me - My Betas are creeping downward. My m/w is not pleased at all at the fact that they didnt drop significantly at the last blooddraw. On the positive side it seems like my bleeding is finally tapering off. I had thought this might all take less time since it happened so early - but the length of it is eerily similar to my m/c in june.

this is what my numbers have looked like...
13 DPO - 30
15 DPO - 87
19 DPO - 117
25 DPO - 115.9
(bleeding started)
29 DPO - 108

My m/w is saying that she is going to have me take Cytotec if my #s havent substantially dropped after tomorrow's blood draw. Has anyone had to take that? I'm really hoping to avoid taking it since physically I am feel pretty good right now...


and I guess I will officially join:

Alanna
Me: 34
DH: 33
DD: 11/05

M/C: 6/07 (at 8 wks 3 days)
Chemical pregnancy: 9/07

[ThreeYell]

Alanna, I took cytotec to induce delivery but I suspect I took a lot more than you would need to. I was in the hospital but I do know that they give it to people to take at home. I'd just ask for a pain reliever to go with it since it can make cramps pretty intense.

[Mrs.Chappy]

hi guys..the spotting seemed to have slowed. it was red/pink last night around 10 when i freaked but this morning it was nothing and then i noticed a little brown (old blood) so i'm going to hold off calling. i have totally been taking it easy (napped all day praCtically). i'll see what happens and then call in if i need to. Thanks for all the support. i'll keep you posted!

[Taylandra]

Sophia and Alanna- I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well.

Do most dr's do bloodwork until the betas go down to 0? The nurse didn't mention me coming back in, she just said that the number had gone down. I can always ask at my appt. on the 25th.

MrsChappy- Glad to hear that the spotting has slowed. I agree with the others about calling if you aren't sure though! I'll keep you in my thoughts.

I guess the dr didn't tell me I could take something for the cramping since he was saying it was a "threatened miscarriage" initially. I wish I had taken something earlier last Monday b/c I had a terrible headache on top of everything else. At least I know now.

I went to the midwife appt I had set up for Friday and I really liked her. I started crying while I was there and she was very kind and had some good things to tell me. I very well may switch over to her, but I'll wait until I see how the other appt goes.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

[Eric's Wife]

Taylandra: My OB tested my levels and had told me b4 looking at the results that I would need to go back in each week till they were back at 0. Then she looked at the results and they were already at 0. Yours might be back at 0 but I'd double check.

[Sophia]

Mrs.Chappy, I'm glad the spotting had changed to brown. I hope everything's ok.

Thanks, everyone. This is such a sucky thread to have to join because nobody wants to have a miscarriage, but it's such a supportive place, and is a nice thread to join in that way.

Well, my bleeding has tapered off a lot, and I'm no longer having bad cramping. However, I've started having a constant horrible stabbing pain on my left side, right above my hipbone at the level of my belly button, and occasional pains in a similar area on my right. I also have a slight fever of 99.5, which isn't high, except I've been on Advil all day so it could be higher. I called the OB and she said to definitely come in tomorrow, so I'm taking yet another day off from work (a new job, no less), and because I've doubled over a few times DH is also taking off work to take me. The OB said to drink lots of fluids and take Tylenol, so I'm doing that, but it still hurts. I'm worried it's an infection or something. I just want everything to go back to normal already.

I've also been crying about the baby we'd have had. I'd already been thinking it was a girl and had been calling her Sylvia in my head. I feel pretty bitter. I don't understand why it's been so hard for us.

[Lolly]

hiphop, I'm praying for you. I hope you're in that 5% too.

Taylandra and Sophia, I'm so sorry you're here :(

MrsChappy, I'm glad the spotting has slowed as well. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you today.

ThreeYell, sorry about that guys' comments. Sometimes people can be so clueless.

[hiphopgirl]

First of all, let me say thank you to all of you for your support. This is a great group of ladies. I'm sorry that I had to join it, but I'm glad that there are people here to support me as I go through this.

I'm in denial right now. I still feel pregnant, and I am not quite ready to accept another loss. I know that if this does end in a loss I am making it that much harder on myself, but I can't help it. I just hope you ladies will be around to help me pick up the pieces if that is what happens. I have a feeling that I will need it more than ever.

ThreeYell - That guy sounds like a huge jerk. I hope he understands how inappropriate his comment was.

Taylandra, Sophia, and Alanna - I'm so sorry that you had to join this thread, but I'm glad you found it.

MrsChappy - I'm rooting for you. I hope that this spotting is just what is normal for you. Try to continue to take it easy, but don't be afraid to call the doctor if you need more assurance. That is what they are there for.

[allison]

Coming in to join now that I'm awake.

Me: Allison 33
Married: 5.24.03
M/C: 7 weeks 9.16.07

I'm cramping really bad so my doctor gave me a script for vicodin which is helping.

[Sophia]

hiphopgirl, I really hope things work out for you. (hugs)

allison, I'm sorry. (hugs)

I went to the OB today. I had a pretty long u/s, and the OB said my uterus was clear and that my ovaries look ok. She said the bad pain in my side is most likely from the "follicular support" being reabsorbed by my ovary and I can take ibuprofin for the pain. I'm staying home from work at least one more day.

During the exam I passed the gestational sac. The OB asked the nurse for a specimen container and I immediately knew why. After the exam she told me we could send it for testing, but that we already knew why I'd miscarried--there had been no growth after implantation. I asked to look at the remains and she opened the container for me. It was just a little bubble with some feathery tendrils where it had been attached to my uterus. I'm glad I looked, though. It gave me some closure. DH was in the room the whole time, but he didn't ask to look.

I got my quants back from Friday--between Monday and Friday I went from 24,000 to 29,000. So the numbers were still going up, but they were slowing down a lot. They took blood again today, and I go back in two weeks for another blood draw and exam the day after that.

DH & I have talked several times and we've agreed not to TTC or SWH anymore. We've gotten a BFP 6 different times, and only once have we had a successful pregnancy. Those are really sucky stats, and we feel that we're incredibly lucky to have Lili and should focus on her and my 2 children from a previous marriage.

[MLA]

Allison, I'm so sorry to see you here. Hugs to you.

Sophia, that must have been a very difficult OB visit. I'm glad you feel a sense of closure, though. I'm sorry that you and your DH won't be ttc-ing again, but I understand why you'd want to be done with it. I can't imagine going through the losses that you've gone through. I'm sorry.

[allison]

Thank you so much MLA and Sophia.
After spending the night in the hospital I came home with a script for valium which is great for sleeping but doesn't help at all with the pain. So when I called my doctors office this morning they gave me to prescriptions, one for 800mg of motrin and another for vicodin. I was able to sleep most of the day.
I have a blood test tomorrow and another on Friday, and then I see my doctor next week.

I'm very scared about what is happening to me right now. I was so incredibly excited to have a BFP finally. DH and I have never not tried in the 4+years we've been married and after months of clomid, last week was the best week ever. We were both cautiously excited, but it was so hard to stay that way.

I don't know what else to say. This is so strange.

[Taylandra]

Allison- So sorry you are joining us here...I hope that the pain passes as quickly as possible. I know that the healing process really began for me as soon as I wasn't curled up in bed from the pain anymore.

Hiphop- I'm still thinking about you...Hopefully things turn out well.

Sophia- It is nice that you got that sense of closure. I don't think my DH is ready to talk about our next step, but I'm so glad to hear that you and your DH have made a decision. Take care of yourself on your day home from work!

[GlamaGal]

allison- wanted to again say I'm so sorry for your loss. You've been TTC for so long, and it is just not fair that this pg didn't stick. I'm hoping the dr. will give you some direction on what to try next to conceive. I guess I'd hope that in your case you got to the level of clomid to conceive, and maybe the m/c was something that happened since it was your 1st pg, but that you'll get a sticky next time. I'm thinking about you and hoping for some good news in your future.

Sophia & Taylandra- I hope you're taking care of yourselves and taking it easy. Thinking of you both as well during this difficult time.

HipHop- still pulling for you!

I'm still throwing caution to the wind and embracing this pg. Of course, when you're pg you hear every horrible story and tend to dwell on them in a I-hope-that-doesn't-happen-to-me way. I'm glad my mom is so supportive. I'm feeling so sick (way sicker than w/ DD) and my obgyn said that's good, b/c she only worries about the ones who say they don't feel pg at all. So I'm "gritting & bearing" it.

[MLA]

Allison -- I'm glad that you have some pain relief now. Take care of yourself.

GlamaGal -- I'm so glad to hear that you're embracing your pregnancy. I imagine it's hard to do that when you've experienced a loss, so do your best to enjoy every minute of it!

[Sophia]

Allison, I'm so sorry. It's so unfair to have a loss after trying for so long.

GlamaGal, I hope all's well with you.

I'm taking a couple days off from work. The pain in my side is better but still bothers me, and I'm still having light bleeding. I wish it would go away already. I've noticed I'm more sensitive than usual and have been having mild mood swings, from the hormone fluctuations, I guess. Last night I woke up at 1AM drenched in sweat. I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 2.5 lbs of water!

I noticed my stats are off. Apparently I can't remember what year I got married & started TTC. :rolleyes: These are corrected.

Sophia
Me: 38
DH: 36
DS: Sept. 1992
DD1: Apr. 1995
DD2: July 2006
M/C 1: Dec. 2003
3 chemical pgcies: early 2004
M/C 2: Sept. 2007

[Alanna]

Hi everyone.

I just go a call from my m/w and my HCG levels are still stuck at around 100. They are moving me on to the OB in the practice. I have an appointment with her tomorrow afternoon. can i just say how much I dont want to have a new person introduced into this? I have seen all three mws at the practice and im fine with that - I just feel so fragile and I'm also so afraid of meeting new doctors - i have had some really bad experience with bed side manner and i just hate the thought of having to talk to someone new about this.

I'm so upset about all this. My bleeding just stopped today after 9 days of it. And now - if i have to take some sort of drug - I suppose it will start up again? I'm really really just not doing well with the thought that this isnt over yet. I'm so worn out - I feel like I could sleep for days.

Allison - ((hugs)) I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

Sophia - I hope you are through the worst of the physical stuff.

Hiphopgirl - thinking of you.

Mrs._Chappy - I hope things are going well for you.

Taylandra -you posted this question ages ago but i wanted to answer it - When i had my first m/c in june they were much more relaxed about the Beta numbers. I think they only took a couple of blood draws. I think if they see the right sort of drop in numbers they don't worry so much. I'm pretty sure the only reason i have had so many draws is because in each and every case they havent seen what they expected to see.


threeyell - thanks for letting me know about your cytotec experience - i will be sure to ask for a pain reliever tomorrow if that is what they decide to do.

[Sophia]

Oh, Alanna, I'm so sorry. (hugs)

[ahavnes]

I'm not sure why, but I am in a major funk today. Maybe it's b/c I would have been 20 weeks today and would have had the big u/s coming up. I also found out today that my cousin's wife is preggo with their 3rd child. I'm really, really happy for them and not jealous at all b/c I have ZERO desire to be pregnant right now, but something my mom said has really given me a case of the blahs. My mom emailed to tell me S was pregnant and that she was about 3 months along. I was surprised to hear she was that far along b/c they told everyone right away with their 2 sons. My mom basically said the reason they waited to tell this time was b/c of what happened to us (we were almost 12 weeks when we lost the baby). I guess it's just irritating b/c we should have been in the "safe" zone by the time we told also.

And let me vent about one more thing while I am here. ;) If one more person hears my HCG and says "well, at least it's going down" I am going to scream!!!! Yeah, it's going down. I never said I wasn't grateful for that, but DAMN!!!! It has been 9 weeks and I am still going for weekly blood draws. Honestly, I wouldn't mind the draws so much if it were just to check my HCG. But that's not the case. Every week is basically a "tumor check." I have to wait 24 hours to get the results. A bad result means I need a chemo shot. And I have to do this for at least 6 more months. I think I deserve to be a little down about the fact that my HCG has only gone down 20 measly points in the past MONTH! Damn!

Ok, thanks! :) I'm sorry to be such a downer. I have a lot of wonderful things I am grateful for. I am just in a f-u-n-k today! :)

Allison-I am so sorry for your loss.

Alanna-I know this is hard, but try not to be too discouraged about the HCG. Mine has only gone down 20 measly points in the past month!!! It especially slows down once you get around 100 and below.

Sophia and Taylandra-So sorry you have to join.

Mrs. Chappy-What happened with the u/s? Worried!

[firefly]

Alicia~ I was just coming in here to check on you sweetie. I still hope and pray that you are down to 0 tomarrow and you get a months repreve on the blood draw. Do you go to the same lab? Have you gotten to know some of the phlobotomists? Mine still remember me. (mainly because I drug my entire daycare with me for the blooddraws, they all got stickers lol)

{{HUGS}} to you.

[allison]

Thank you everyone.
I have a question, and I know this will be different for everyone, but how long did your pain last?

[MLA]

Alicia -- I'm sorry. I can't begin to understand what you're dealing with. :(

Allison -- My miscarriage was at about 6 weeks (just so you can sort of gauge where you are in comparison to me). I had some cramping the day before it really started. The day the m/c began, I had intense cramping that continued through the next day, when the doctor told me to take up to 6 Advil. I did that, and it really helped. I had to keep taking the Advil for another 2 or 3 days after that. Then the pain was pretty much gone.

[allison]

Thank you MLA, I am, or was just over 6 weeks:o as well so that makes sense. I've just been in so much pain.

I also have a vent of sorts. I'm not upset about it really, it couldn't be helped. I guess it's not really a vent.
My cousin E and his wife G had their baby boy on Monday when my MC really started. I kept getting text messages and emails about it all day. No one knows about my MC in my family, but it still hurts. Just bad timing all around.

[MLA]

Oh, Allison, that must have been really hard. I'm sorry!

[Mrs.Chappy]

Allison, i'm thinking of you.

Ahavnes: thanks for your concern! Had the u/s..we DID see the h/b. i was so relieved that we were able to see it so early 6w3d. I was still freaking out and i dont think i'llsettle until i'm 11 weeks. With the last we saw the h/b then i m/c so you can understand my concern. They want me to do my nuchal test at the same place where i learned of the m/c..i said absolutely not. so instead i finagled an appoitnment at the hosptial where i work in New york City. I'm rambling. i'm being checked every 3 weeks now. Oh, and they can't find a reason for my spotting so hopefully it was more implantation issues.

[Alanna]

Hi everyone.

Alicia - ((hugs)) I hope your numbers take a big ole leap downward soon. Thanks for letting me know about your experience. I hate not being in control of what's going on - thats the worst part for me - i think.

Allison - I had a m/c in June (found out at 8 weeks - but they think i lost the baby around 6 weeks) and i had 2 really bad days and then another 2 days where i felt really weak and sore.

this time for me its been a chemical pregnancy and i only had a couple of sessions of bad cramping...

So... as for me...


I had my OB appt. today. While I didn't particularly care for her she did help me to understand all the options on the table.

so essentially today (right now in fact) i am taking Misoprostol. There is a slim chance that my taking this it will solve everything and I will be hunky dory. so that would be great.

In anycase tomorrow i am having an u/s at 2:45pm. This is an attempt to see whether this is a missed miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy. Because my HGC ever got far above 100 there is a chance that they wont be able to get any info at all.

after the u/s (if the misoprostel doesnt work) if they think it is a missed miscarriage i will have to decide whether to take methotrexate or to have a D&E. if they are able to figure out that it is an ectopic then i will get to choose between taking methotrexate and having laproscopic surgery.

so... in a word this all sucks.

I am trying to tell myself that at least it looks like this might be resolved within a week. but looking at what might have to happen between now and then really freaks out and depresses me.

I have had the Misoprostol in for 5 hours now and I am really starting to cramp and also spot a little.... so maybe it is working?

[Sophia]

Allison, I'm so sorry you kept getting text messages all day when your m/c started. How painful to have to go through that on top of everything else, even though they didn't know.

Mrs. Chappy, yay! Great news! I hope everything progresses smoothly from here on out.

ETA: Alanna, I hope you get some answers soon.

[ahavnes]

firefly-LOL, I am on a first name basis with my new best friend...aka the phlebotomist. :) Luckily, I work on Wednesdays and can go then so as to avoid bringing my 2 year old. :) I did take the stairs today instead of the elevator...just to change up the mojo a bit. ;) I'll let you know what tomorrow's results bring.

Mrs. Chappy-So glad everything went well today! I can totally understand how you are feeling. We saw the h/b too this last time and still lost the baby around 12 weeks. I feel like the joy and relief of that milestone has been taken away from us, don't you? It sucks. Anywho, glad you were able to find a new place for the next u/s. :) And I am sure you will have a healthy pregnancy this time.

Allison-So sorry about the text messages. That does have to hurt.

Alanna-I really hope it doesn't come to this for you, but I had a D&C in July. Honestly, it was a piece of cake. Feel free to ask any questions you may have. I was very worried about it, having never had surgery before, but it ended up being the easiest part of the whole ordeal. I hope you get some answers soon!

[Taylandra]

Sorry this is a bit of a fly-by...I wanted to stop since I wasn't able to get online at all yesterday, but it's late and I'm ready for bed!

To those who have had a few yucky days- I'm sorry...I know I'm just jealous of the friends who have been pregnant for quite awhile, so I'm sure that it's hard to hear about new births and pregnancies. I am not looking forward to when my friends have their babies b/c I know I'll be happy, but also sad.

Cramping- I had cramping on Friday evening, then bleeding, cramping, and back pain on Saturday. The continuous cramping continued until Monday and on Tuesday I had cramping on and off throughout the day. I also had a really bad headache on Sunday night through Monday night. Monday was also when I gave up and finally took something for the pain.

[docoNY]

fly by - sorry to see there are new members here and hope you are all doing ok during these hard times

we were on vacation to see the in laws and to attend my cousins wedding in Ireland... which would have been a great trip if I didn't have to look at my SIL being pregnant - I was due 1/10 and she is due 1/14.. I did a lot of sobbing in bed at night and felt like a b*tch for doing so cause she has had m/c issues too but it just sucked and then I got AF while there so TTC cycle #2 didn't work..

so since we got back work has been sooo freaking busy its insane and got a cold & DD is jet lagged and has a cold and just feel so lousy / blah

anyway just wanted to spew.. think DH is getting tired of my blues

[Lolly]

I know I'm behind in here.

docoNY, That would be hard for me too (to see your pregnant cousin). And I'm so sorry about AF. I really hope things turn around quickly for you.

How is everyone else doing?

[ahavnes]

firefly-Three. (Shaking my head and laughing.) It's almost a joke at this point. :o My OB said I could wait 10 days until the next draw to see if the extra time gets me to 0. Hah!

[hiphopgirl]

Alicia - I can't imagine how hard this is for you. I just wish there was some way to get you down to zero tomorrow.

Allison - Wow, that must have been really hard. I probably would have just turned my phone off.

Alanna - I'm so sorry that you have to decide between two sucky options.

Taylandra - Sorry about the cramps. I hope the pain medication finally brought you some relief.

docoNY - That must have been so hard to see your SIL, and then getting AF on top of it. Oy!

As far as life with me, it is getting easier to behave like I am still pregnant and I never saw the doctor. I've decided to just say things like I am 8 1/2 weeks pregnant. I do have cravings and other pg symptoms. My pants are feeling a bit snug. If I had never gone to the doctor at 6 weeks that is how I would be feeling so I'm just ignoring all of the other stuff. Some days (minutes, hours) it is easier said than done.

These next 3 1/2 weeks are going to be the longest of my life. I know that something could happen before then, but I've got my eye on Oct. 12th. If I am still pregnant by then I will call the doctor. Actually, if I'm still pregnant on Oct. 8th I will probably call to schedule the appointment for sometime late that week. I'm going out of town for work Oct. 16-18 so I'd like to see the doctor before then.

I'm just trying to figure out what to say to the scheduling nurse. It's not an initial visit, but that is how I want to treat it. I guess I have time to think of something :)

[GlamaGal]

Hiphop- thinking of you! Keep thinking good thoughts.

I hope everyone else can heal in spirit and body soon. Thinking of you all.

[Lolly]

ahavnes, Alicia, OMG! Yeah, wait it out 10 days. Hoping for zero for you finally!

Allison, I'm sorry you had to have that coincide on the same day. :(

hiphop, I like your positive attitude. And I admire you for your strength to hold out until 10/12.

me, anxiously waiting for my appointment on Wednesday. However, I'm still contemplating pushing it back to Friday so instead of just being 6w1d, I'd be 6w3d. hmmmm...not sure what to do here.

I'll continue to think about all of you ladies :)