Support for Ladies Who Have Miscarried (#3)

[Lizzy]

Hi ladies,

As you can imagine, I hate to join this thread, but here I am and I'm glad it's here too. I was 6w3d yesterday when I started to spot and cramp. Since then it's just continued.

Right now I'm feeling numb and unsure of what to do next. Should I get tested just to see if it's an obvious problem, like progesterone? The more I read, this seems to be a safe bet. Is this the usual course of action?

I feel like I should do something differently next time... but I really did everything right this time.

It sounds so stupid and cliche, but... it's just not fair. Informing our families is going to suck, too. We told our immediate families and two friends shortly after finding out. We were so excited. :(

I guess I'm glad it's happening over the weekend. Any tips on getting through it? How will I know for sure that it's over - I expect it will be like a heavy period? I guess I will try to see my midwife on Monday.

[MLA]

Aw, Lizzy, I'm so sorry for your loss. You're right. It's not fair. Hugs to you.

If this is your first miscarriage, your doctor may not feel it's necessary to do any testing, since most miscarriages are "fluke" occurrances. In other words, chances are that next time around you'll be fine. But if you want to get some testing done, and your doctor's open to it, then I say go for it.

The miscarriage will likely be like a really bad period, with severe cramping. You should let your doctor know what's going on. S/he'll probably tell you that if you pass any clots larger than a golf ball or that if your bleeding seems WAY too heavy or if your cramping's unbearable that you should go to the emergency room. You can take Motrin to deal with the cramping. I found it really helped me.

You'll know when the miscarriage is done when you've stopped bleeding. For both my m/c's that took about 7 days. Your doctor will likely want you to come in and get your HCG levels checked to make sure that they get down to the right level.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hate that you have to join this thread.

[Taylandra]

Lizzy, I'm so, so sorry that you are joining us...The ladies here are fabulous for support and I appreciate knowing I have someplace I can come for the good and bad days. I hope that you can find the support you need here as well. *hug*

[Annette]

Lizzy-I'm so sorry for your loss. This thread has been a lifesaver for me for both my m/c's. Now I'm glad I can help others get through this difficult time.
MLA pretty much covered what to expect. For me, the heaviest part lasted several hours and then it was just like a regular period for 5-8 days.

[MLA]

Taylandra -- Gosh. Getting that bill in the mail must have been hard. I'm so sorry - for that and for the BFN. :( I hope it turns into a BFP in a few days!

It's okay to be in a crappy place emotionally right now. It's such a rollercoaster of emotions -- you just need to be patient with yourself. I'm glad your DH is being understanding.

[Lizzy]

Thanks everyone. You are all definitely a comfort.

[cr8zyforaf]

Lizzy - I am so so sorry for your loss.


Taylandra - I am so sorry about getting the bill and the BFN.

MLA - how did your appointment with the RE go? It was on Halloween, right?

Me...I am hanging in there. 10/31 was my 35 birthday and it pretty much s*cked. I feel old, I am not pregnant...just a bad day. And I also got my bill from the hospital on Saturday. I still haven't gotten my period and I don't even have any signs...it has been 4 weeks..when should I get concerned?

And not the SIL baby shower extravaganza starts...three baby showers over the next two weekends...and all of our friends/cousins who are attending are also pregnant..except for me.

[Annette]

Taylandra-Sorry about the bill.
MLA-How did the RE visit go?
cr8zy-{{{hugs}}} 3 baby showers? That will be hard. Can you skip some of them? I hear ya on the birthday. I just turned 30 and I was hoping to have a kid by then. Are you charting? How do your temps look?

I'm really not looking forward to Christmas this year since we should have had a newborn. I hope I am pg by then at the very least. AF is nowhere in sight and after it arrives I can get my HSG. I'm already on CD26 and still not sure if I O'd yet. My body is frustrating me right now.

[MLA]

Annette-- I feel you on the frustrating body. I'm on CD 21 and haven't O'd yet. This is not at all normal for me, and I'm hoping I O soon. Blech.

cr8zy -- I'm sorry your birthday wasn't better. And I can't believe that you've got 3 showers to go to. I'm sorry!

me -- Since you guys asked, I've not yet gone to the RE. My appointment is on Monday. I'm on pins and needles, so excited to go!

[miel]

Lizzy I am so sorry for your loss.

[babyjinks]

Lizzy...So sorry for your loss and that you have to join us here..but here we all are and ready and willing to help however we can...Heather

[Alanna]

. I still haven't gotten my period and I don't even have any signs...it has been 4 weeks..when should I get concerned?


With my first miscarriage i got AF on day 33 and with the second it was on day 39... i think i have heard people waiting anywhere between 4 and 6 weeks... i generally ahve about a 32 day cycle so for me it wasnt too far off my regular cycle length... i think in my case I would have called the midwife around the 6 week mark if i hadnt gotten my period yet....

and birthday ((hugs))

MLA - I'd love an update after your RE appt. tomorrow - if you feel up to it! Although I started testing this cycle - Im still with my m/w but if we have another m/c i will be switching to an RE... i'll be thinking of you! good luck!

Taylandra - I hope you are having a better day and followed your instincts to be good to yourself... its good to have a day or night like that every so often.

Lizzy - I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are through the worst of the physical stuff by now. ((hugs))

Annette - I Hope you O soon.. I know how important it is to keep moving forward on this stuff.

_________________________________________

I'm doing pretty well... It is really a relief to have this cycle off. Of course I have had a cold for ages... I would really just like to feel well. It's been a long time.

I am hoping to get my test results this week. I don't know what to hope for - it would be so nice to have a clear cut easy to fix issue... but i know that's pretty unlikely.

[ThreeYell]

hiphopgirl, I hope you get down to 0 soon. It's just crazy the things we end up wishing for, like a BFN.

doco, I don't think I knew you were pregnant. I hope you have a very boring pregnancy and a perfect baby!

MLA, I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. I hope you get some answers.

tealynn, I'm sorry your friend hurt your feelings.

ahavnes, how annoying that the number couldn't be 0, but yay for finally getting to move on. What a long road it's already been for you.

Alanna, aren't those 10 vials of blood crazy? I had to look away so I wouldn't lose it. I think it's a good thing to take a cycle off. Sometimes you just need a break. I hope the blood tests give you some answers.

taylandra, what a horrible day with the BFN and the hospital bill. I hope the icing and Gilmore Girls helped. That sounded like a great plan to me. I've got the whole series on DVD.

Lizzy, I'm so sorry you have to join us. I hope you find lots of comfort from this thread.

cr8zyforaf, I'm sorry about the bad birthday. I wish all major occasions could be put on hold when you're in a bad place emotionally. My AF was about 5 weeks after I delivered. You were pretty far along, right? I think it might take longer because your hormone levels have farther to drop.

Annette, I hear you. I want the holidays canceled this year. Sorry for the crazy cycle.

I'm sorry I've been so bad about posting here lately. I read every post and think about everyone all the time. I'm just feeling quiet lately. TTC cycle #3 is a bust so I won't be pregnant by my due date. I go back and forth between having hope and completely freaking out. I've left messages for my acupuncturist and therapist to try to get some control of my emotions and my hormones. I don't feel back to normal yet, though who knows what normal is since I'd spent the past 3 years pregnant or nursing. :confused:

[Lizzy]

Hi everyone, thanks for your kind responses. I think I am through the worst of the physical stuff now (the cramps Saturday night and this morning were bad, I was taking a bunch of ibuprofen like MLA suggested). I'm tired, though... just a weariness. I feel tired just from walking around the house - my legs just feel weak. I assume this is not unusual... my body's been on a roller coaster the past few weeks, I guess.

Emotionally, I know it will take a lot longer to heal. I think I am ready to try again though, even though I'm scared $hitless. I got pregnant the first cycle that we were trying... I felt so fortunate and yet like it was too easy, too good to be true. I just have no idea what to expect for the future.

[Sand]

Lizzy - I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[allison]

I'm so sorry Lizzie, sending you lots of {{Hugs}}

[ahavnes]

Lizzy– I am so sorry for your loss.

Warning—Be ready to fast forward through Brothers and Sisters this week. Especially if you had the heart-wrenching experience of finding out you lost your baby at one of your ultrasounds. I really haven’t had a hard time with this m/c and thought I had put it in the past b/c it happened almost 4 months ago. Still, the scene where the OB tells Kitty that she can’t find a heartbeat is awful. I got a really sick feeling just remembering the silence and the look on the u/s tech’s face. Kitty ended up having a D&C also, so be ready for that too. Her situation was so much like mine...I wanted to puke. I wonder if we’ll find out next week that she had a molar pregnancy. :cool:

[ThreeYell]

Thanks for the warning, ahavnes. We're a couple weeks behind watching Brothers and Sisters since I didn't know if I wanted to deal with Kitty having an oops pregnancy. I definitely can't handle seeing her lose it. DS and I go to a playroom at a local hospital frequently and the other day I saw an ultrasound machine getting wheeled down the hall and had to look away. I hate those things.

[hiphopgirl]

Lizzy - I'm so sorry for your loss. This is such a tough time. I hope you find comfort from the ladies here like I have.

MLA - Good luck at your appointment today. I will keep my fingers crossed that you get some good answers.

taylandra - sorry about the bill. I got a bill like that too and it has me scratching my head. I need to calm down before I can ask the OB office about it.

cr8zyforaf - Happy belated birthday. Sorry it was so sucky. Good luck at all of those showers. You are a better person than I. I might figure out a way to get out of going.

I've had a pretty strange day. I was supposed to have a colonoscopy this morning. I have a history of colon cancer in my family. Anyway, I go through all the prep yesterday (which is awful) and then on a whim this morning I took a pregnancy test. I don't know why I did. I kind of wish I hadn't. It came back positive. Here's the kicker. It was one of those digital ones so I can't tell if it is still leftover from the m/c or if it is a real pregnancy. I went to the appt and the GI said that I need to get a quantitative test so that they can figure out if I'm pregnant again (which would probably be a miracle) or if it is in fact just left over stuff.

At this point I don't even know what I'm hoping for. I know, I know everyone here would be hoping/praying for it to be a real pregnancy. Part of me is hoping for that, but there are so many reasons I don't want it to be. For one, I still haven't gotten my period from this last m/c. I don't know if that makes this a riskier pregnancy. Also, I really did want to get tests run so we could figure out if there is something definitively wrong with me. Lastly, (and this is the most silly reason) that prep was God-awful. I would hate to think I went through all of that for nothing. :)

Seriously, I am at work trying so hard not to watch the clock while I wait for my test results. Oh, and I'm not allowed to eat anything just in case I do end up getting the colonoscopy tomorrow. So the last time I had solid food was Saturday night. I swear I'm ready to eat my hand. I am so unbelievably hungry. On second thought, maybe I do want it to be a real pregnancy so that I could eat something. I can always do the colonoscopy next year, right? :)

[Lolly]

Lizzy, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hiphop, wow! It could very well be real. Of course you're right, we'll all be hoping and praying that it is for you. Could you get in to see your OB today? Keep us updated!


Sorry, I haven't been around in a while. I do read along, but find it hard to post sometimes. I just don't know what to say, so I don't usually say anything. But just know that I am here, in the background, hoping and praying for all of you!

[cr8zyforaf]

Hiphop - please keep us posted. I have my fingers and toes crossed. I don't think getting pregnant before getting your period is riskier..I think they tell you to wait for one period in order to have the ability to date the pregnancy. I think if you were pregnant, they would just monitor you closer to get an accurate due date.

MLA - how did the appointment go? For some reason, I thought you went on Thursday.

I think I am getting my period (I guess talking about it made it arrive :rolleyes:) - I am spotting- so hopefully it is here...I just want it to come so I can move on a bit.

ahavens - thanks for the heads up - that is the last thing any of us need to see right now, IMO.

Lolly - thanks for cheering us on....

[hiphopgirl]

Quick update...they just called. I'm at a 2 so I guess they consider that "negative". How weird that my digital pg test would have registered that as positive. As I said before I kind of wish I hadn't taken it, then I'd have this all over and done with. For now I just need to starve myself one more day.

As stupid as this sounds I hope they do find a polyp. After all this hassle I'd hate to think it was all for naught. Of course I don't hope that it is cancer, but I'd at least like to think I was justified in jumping through all of these hoops. Wish me luck tomorrow.

cr8zyforaf - glad to hear she finally showed up. Maybe all this posting by me will have the same effect ;)

[MLA]

HipHop -- I'm sorry you've had such a rollercoaster of a day. I can't even imagine!

AHavnes -- I don't watch Brothers and Sisters, and now I'm really glad that I don't. What a tough scene to watch.

cr8zy -- I'm glad AF seems to be on the way.

Lizzy -- How are you feeling?


me -- DH and I just got back from the RE app't. It went really well, I think. She reassured us that there's a definite possibility that the 2 m/c's were just flukes, but she was also very clear that two m/c's so close together was something to investigate. So I'll go to the lab tomorrow morning and have about a zillion vials of blood drawn. They're testing for all sorts of antibodies and doing chromosome analysis. They're also throwing in a thyroid panel since it's been a while since I had one done, and Graves Disease runs rampant in my family.

After my next period's over, I get to go in for an HSG. Oh, and as soon as we're ttc-ing again, she's going to put me on progesterone suppositories, which shouldn't make me sick like the pills did. She said that since I'd spotted throughout both my pregnancies, progesterone would be a good thing to do.

So that's it. The journey's started. I'm hoping to have some answers soon and get back to being pregnant -- and staying that way!

[jenahdawn]

After all this hassle I'd hate to think it was all for naught.

One of my LJ.local ladies friends just went through one. They found nothing and she basically said, "It was all for naught"....no, even if they DON'T find anything, it's not for "naught"! It's a GOOOOOOD thing if they find nothing! Good luck tomorrow!

MLA, oh, here's hoping all of the results come back quick and (sorry, but I know you understand) that AF shows up (and leaves) quickly!

[Lizzy]

MLA, thanks for asking about me. The worst of the physical stuff is definitely over. I am starting to feel back to normal. I don't know how I am doing emotionally... I just go with whatever I am feeling. It was good to be at work today and have my mind occupied.

I am glad you had a good RE visit and I hope that you will get the answers you need from the testing.



I found out that my MIL had two miscarriages before my husband (the first she carried to term). I know my mom also had one, after her second child. In a way it is comforting to know that you are not alone... in another way you just hate that it has to be so damn complicated and such a roller coaster for the body and the mind.

[cr8zyforaf]

lizzy - you are certainly not alone. I was SHOCKED at the amount of women in my life that had been through the same - and I didn't even know until I told them what I was going through. The physical part is easy - the emotional part is hard...one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with.

MLA - I am so happy - it sounds like the RE visit was a huge step in the right direction. When you get pregnant - the RE will monitor you closely...my DD was conceived with an RE (and I was also on progest supp vaginally until about 12 weeks and next time, I will insist on prog. supps)....you are well on your way to having a baby placed in your arms..I just know it. DD was conceived the month I had my HSG (and we had been trying for almost 2 years).

hiphop - I am so sorry. And I agree with jenah - DH has to get one every five years - it is def all for naught - even if they find nothing. And not to make light of a bad situation - but I remember laughing when DH was up all night after drinking that horrible juice.

So I had some spotting this AM..and nothing since....weird. I wonder if I should put spotting on my FF chart - it was hardly anything...

[MLA]

Thanks, Jenah. I hope AF shows soon, too. I still don't think I've o'd!

Lizzy -- I found out after my m/c that my mom had one, as well. It's weird how we don't know these things about people until something happens to us. There's such a taboo when it comes to talking about it. I'm glad you're feeling better and glad that work seems to have helped you get your mind off things.


ETA: x-posted w/cr8zy . . . Thanks for your encouragement. I hope you're right! I just read about the anecdotal evidence that fertility is heightened for about 3 months after an HSG, so I'm definitely hopeful!

[Taylandra]

Lizzy- I'm glad that you are physically feeling back to normal and you have some family members you can talk to about the experience. Just keep hanging in there and we're here if you need to talk!

HipHop- What a day you had! I'll be thinking about you during your colonoscopy-I hope that they don't find anything. Good luck!

MLA- Sounds like you had a good appt! I hope you get some answers soon.

Ladies, thanks for the kind words. I'm feeling much better now that AF has come and the PMS mood is gone. Oh, and the icing/Gilmore Girls fest didn't hurt either!

[Annette]

taylandra-Glad to hear you are feeling better. Sorry about AF.

lizzy-glad you are feeling better.

mla-Good luck with your tests. Maybe we can be pg together.

hiphop-SOrry about your roller coaster day and the fact that you can't eat anything. Hope the colonoscopy goes well. Are you awake for that?

cr8zy-hope AF arrives soon.

Sorry if I missed anyone.

me: I think I finally O'd, so I am hoping this cycle will end soon.I've never O'd this late before.

[Lizzy]

Good morning everyone... I have charting questions for you. First, when do you think my temps will return to normal? They are still in the post-ovulation range, I haven't gone below my coverline yet. Second, my chart looked triphasic for awhile. Then my temps dropped a little, around CD 41 or so. Do you think this could be indicative of anything? At the time I just told myself that it was because the weather was starting to get cold, but... I don't think that's it, because my temps are usually pretty consistent regardless of how warm or cold it is in the house. Chart (http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/lizaugust02)

[Lolly]

HipHop, what a crazy day for you. That is odd that a digital test would register a positive. Hope the colonoscopy goes well, and of course hope that they don't find anything.

MLA, so glad you finally got to meet with an RE. I bet it feels good to have an action plan ready.

Lizzy, glad you're feeling better. I never told my mom about what happened, but I know she had one between my brother and I. I did tell my MIL and I knew she had one, but it turned out she had four between having DH's sisters. And each one seemed different from the others. She did get pregnant again successfully. Anyway, bad as it was to hear, it was also comforting to know that you're not alone.

[hiphopgirl]

Lizzy - I'm glad that you are physically feeling better. It is oddly comforting to know that others can relate to your pain even if it is so sad that other people have to know what it feels like. I'm glad you have people you can talk to. It helps. As far as temps are concerned, I temp'd after my D&C and my temps were all over the place. The following month my chart was back to normal and that's when I got pregnant again.

MLA - I'm glad your visit went so well. Did they want you to have a post-m/c period before running the tests? I asked the nurse yesterday (after finding out that I was down to a 2) and she said I had to wait until I had my period. I was just wondering if that was standard procedure or if my nurse was just being stupid?

So I was right, they didn't find anything. Eh, maybe it wasn't "for naught", but it certainly feels like it. They want me to come back in 5 years, but I'm tempted to wait until I'm 50 just like everybody else. That was NO FUN!

[MLA]

Lizzy -- Your chart doesn't look weird to me . . . Even when I just get my period, my temp stays high for a few days at the beginning of my cycle because there's still progesterone in my body. I'm imagining that's what you're seeing, especially since your progesterone levels were probably even more elevated because of the pregnancy. I wouldn't worry about it just yet.

hiphopgirl -- Well, I'm glad theyd didn't find anything, but I'm sure you're not thrilled to have had to go through the test! And to answer your question, the doctor didn't seem to think I needed to wait until I'd had a period to have the testing done. So I went today. And they took 10 tubes of blood! It was crazy! I should have some results in about a week. I guess it takes a while to get the results in since some of the testing was genetic.

[cr8zyforaf]

hiphop - I am glad they didn't find anything.

MLA - that is a lot of blood!! It sounds like you are with a really good RE.

So, baby shower extravaganza starts this Saturday (I've got 6 to go to between now and Christmas) and I thought I was OK with it..but now I am getting a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it. And most of DH's extended family do not know what happened so I am sure to get a lot of 'when are you having another, your not getting any younger' comments like I did 8 months ago at another family baby shower. I just pray I don't cry..this should be a happy time for SIL and it isn't about me.

[cr8zyforaf]

Oh, and still no period. I had some mild (very mild) spotting and now, nothing.

[ahavnes]

cr8zy-Good luck with the baby shower marathon. I’m so sorry you have to endure that right now. I love how everyone assumes that you’re having another baby when your child gets to be around 2. I’ve just been saying “Well, it will be a while. Abbey is handful enough for us right now.” That seems to shut them up! And it’s definitely true! :)

MLA-Holy moly, that’s a lot of blood! I’m glad the appointment went well and that you are on your way to getting some answers.

Hiphop-Glad they didn't find anything, although I'm sorry about the rollercoaster you've been through this week.

Lizzy-I am a charting disaster. Wish I could help!

[Alanna]

Oh, and still no period. I had some mild (very mild) spotting and now, nothing.

I will just hijack this if I may ;)

This is really interesting to me - I mentioned to my m/w that my two cycles post m/cs I had spotting prior to my period.

I havent ever had spotting before ever.

In July I had 4 days where i alternated between spotting and nothing before finally getting my period -

this past cycle (october) i had 3 days of really super light spotting then my period.

I didnt know if this was common in the cycle post m/c or if it was more generally indicative of a progesterone problem.

I am curious to see if i have the same spotting this cycle since we are TTA - or if it is something that is just part of a wonky post-m/c cycle...

did other people have spotting prior to AF showing for the first time post-m/c?

Maybe this is common?

[cr8zyforaf]

Allana what did your midwife say about the spotting?

If I still don't have a period by Monday, I am calling the doctor. I am on cd37 now. I did take a prenancy test a few days ago and it was negative thank goodness...so I don't know what it could be. I don't usually spot.

It wasn't even really spotting - it was more like red blood tinged discharge - and I put a tampon in....but there was nothing on it (sorry for TMI). I know I am not pregnant....I just didn't think it would take this long.

[Alanna]

cr8zyforaf - my m.w wasnt sure what to make of it - she said to me that post mc cycles are always really weird - but she wanted me to pay attention this cycle to see what happens.. I am supposed to get my progesterone tested next cycle - so I will find out whether there is an issue there anyway...

[Sand]

hiphop
So, baby shower extravaganza starts this Saturday (I've got 6 to go to between now and Christmas) and I thought I was OK with it..but now I am getting a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about it. And most of DH's extended family do not know what happened so I am sure to get a lot of 'when are you having another, your not getting any younger' comments like I did 8 months ago at another family baby shower. I just pray I don't cry..this should be a happy time for SIL and it isn't about me.

Ugh, hugs to you. I've got my last of 4 showers in the past 2 months this weekend. I get that same sick stomach, still. The difference is that most people know that I've lost so many pregnancies so they dont ask, but the fear is there. I hope you can manage to not cry, but if you do that is okay too. Is there someone there that knows that can deflect those type of conversations from you? If you feel it coming excuse yourself to the bathroom. I'm sending you all the hugs I have. Or you can tell them what happened...that usually shuts people up. ;)

Lizzy - I'm sorry I cant help, I've never charted.

------
So we had our 1st appt with the NEW! and hopefully IMPROVED! RE. So far at first impression I like him much more than the other doc. He is sending us to the lab to get a Karyotype test. (I believe its another blood draw, yes?). It scares me that this is the next step because I feel a little doomsday that there is something wrong with [one of] our chromosomes and we'll NEVER have a baby. But I have to make myself be strong. It takes a long time to get the results (weeks!) so I get to freak out for a while still. Oy.


Sending good thoughts and hugs to everyone.

[Alanna]

Hi everyone!

I got my call from my midwife with my bloodwork results from my recent testing and they all came back .... normal. She said that for now I should think of my 2 m/cs as hopefully random occurrences. If I have a third m.c I will be off to see an RE and have further testing.

I am not sure how to feel about it. I was hoping that these results would make me feel more in control and more secure about ttcing next time... and well - they dont.

I will take progesterone next ttc cycle starting on 5 DPO. and I guess that is good - since I feel like that might be at least part of my problem and i havent had my progesterone tested. so that makes me feel a little bit more secure about the next time - but I wish that I had something concrete -

to make things worse I am having one of the longest cycles in my history of charting... :(
__________________________________________________

Sand - yay for a new and improved RE! thinking of you - I hope that he is able to get to the bottom of things very quickly with a positive outcome!

Cr8zyforAF - thinking of you as we approach the weekend - I hope people will be kind and leave you some space -

[cr8zyforaf]

Alanna - thanks. I am still not spotting/no period...but spotted very lightly for about 1.5 days...

Sand - Hugs. I hate waiting also....even if something *is* wrong with one of your chromosomes..that does not mean you will never have a baby.

I've decided to call the RE again...I just feel like something is wrong with my hormones. I don't feel right and I don't think it is good that my period is only a speck of blood. I want some blood tests - it will make me feel better...I am not telling anyone but my mom that I am going. Most people tell me I worry too much but I would rather be proactive.

[MLA]

Sand - Good for finding a new RE. I hope that you get good results!
Cr8zyforAF - I'm hoping this weekend is as painless as possible for you.
Alanna - I completely understand your feelings. I'm actually scared that my RE will get back to me, saying that there's nothing wrong. I sort of want something *small* to be wrong so that I can fix it and feel in control. Isn't it bizarre how these feelings work?

[Lizzy]

Question for those of you that use Fertility Friend - how the heck do you turn off the Pregnancy Tracker? That will eventually drive me crazy. I checked the "miscarriage" box but that didn't update it.

I am doing ok. I have continued to feel very numb but emotion breaks through every once in awhile. Yesterday I was really hurting because my husband's family had not said anything to me. They had called him to see how I was doing, and intellectually I know that they care, but emotionally I really needed some sort of acknowledgement myself. Especially since my MIL experienced several losses, geeze, you would think she would say something. My husband said something to her about it, and later she sent me an email. Apparently she had already been planning to mail me something, so there are no hard feelings. It was nice to hear from her, especially since she experienced miscarriage before carrying to term. Last night all I could think about was how if it weren't for the miscarriage, I wouldn't have my husband today. He is really my rock right now so that was an overwhelming thought.

I've decided that next time around, I will still share the news with my mom, my sister, my MIL and my BFF. Not so sure about my BIL/SIL, they will probably hear through the grapevine though. Next time I won't share the news so early with my brother, he's just young and naive and can wait. Also won't share with another friend that we told last time - he's a guy and just has no sense about these things.

[cr8zyforaf]

Lizzy - I entered data for my d&c that I guess it calculated as a period...so that started it over. I did send an e-mail to customer service because even after I entered that I had a miscarriage, my pregancy tracker still continued which wasn't something I wanted to see.

[Annette]

cr8zy-i hope you get answers soon.

lizzy-{{{hugs}}}

MLA-you hit the nail on the head. I feel the same way!

alanna-I hear ya on the long cycles. CD31 for me. My bloodwork was normal too, which is good, but it still doesn't tell me the root cause.

sand-glad your new RE will work out for you.

me: I left work early today since I'm feeling miserable with a horrible cold. Tomorrow's our 6 yr anniversary, so our plans are on hold now depending on how I feel.

[hiphopgirl]

Alanna - That is my number one fear about getting any testing done. I feel stupid hoping that there is something wrong with me, but having two unexplained m/c's seems almost worse. Big hugs. I hope that taking progesterone will help.

cr8zyforaf - I hope you are able to get some answers from your RE. That does seem strange. Also, hugs for getting through the baby showers this weekend. I can only imagine how hard that will be.

Lizzy - Sorry you weren't getting support from your IL's. I think it can be so hard for them to know the right things to say. HUGS...

I finally got AF yesterday. I am some what relieved that I appear to be back to normal. Now I just have to schedule those blood tests.

[Lizzy]

I figured out how to get rid of the Pregnancy Tracker on Fertility Friend. In case anyone else needs this info... from your chart, click on Pregnancy Tracker. Then click on My Account. There is a link to delete your account. It will ask you several times if you really want to delete the info. Don't worry, it won't delete your charting data.

[Taylandra]

Lizzy- I'm glad you figured out how to delete that...B/c I had no idea! Good to hear that your IL's weren't ignoring you during this time as well.

Cr8zyforaf- Add me to the list of folks hoping you get some sort of answer.

MLA- Funny that you say that about wanting something little to be wrong, just so it can be fixed. I feel that way about other things, especially since I can be a control freak!

Alanna- I hope that your cycles get back on a shorter track! Mine have been shorter lately, but they can go up to 42 days...It's maddening...

Sand- Hurray for a new RE!

*hugs* to anyone I missed that might need them...I just wanted to pop in before bed.

[ahavnes]

Just coming out of lurkdom to say that I hope all of you get some much-needed answers soon.

By the way, I was reading Marie Claire last night and the feature article was on Nicole Kidman. She said she had an ectopic pregnancy at the beginning of her marriage to Tom Cruise and a miscarriage at the end. Wow. I never knew that.

[GlamaGal]

Hi everyone. I just stopped by to see how you all were doing. I too hope you all get some answers soon.

I also read that Marie Claire article yesterday and it made me realize again that we never know what other people are going through, and that celebrities have the same problems we do. Money can't solve everything.

[ahavnes]

Glama- Thank you! That's what I was trying to say, but I couldn't for the life of me think of how to say it! :) I think (for me, atleast) that it's so easy to get caught up in how wonderful other people's lives are, but we never really know the whole story.

[jenahdawn]

I knew NK had a miscarriage later. I don't know, I'm of two minds: One, it's such a personal thing, 2, if someone that high profile starts speaking out about it, there wouldn't be this shame and stigma, you know?

[MLA]

I knew NK had a miscarriage later. I don't know, I'm of two minds: One, it's such a personal thing, 2, if someone that high profile starts speaking out about it, there wouldn't be this shame and stigma, you know?


Personally, I wish more celebs would come forward with their stories of m/c or infertility. I think it would make it easier on everyone else. Of course, I'd never want to force someone to talk about their experiences, but if they're open to it, I think that celebs talking about these things could be really helpful.

[jesseybell]

This is a thread I never want to join, but unfortunately it is time.

We went in on Friday for my nuchal test at 11w2d and the results were not favorable. We were faced with excrutiating decisions. I went in today for a CVS test but an u/s prior to the procedure showed no heartbeat. I did feel a sigh of relief as the decisions were going to be difficult, so in that regard we've been spared. I am awaiting word of when I will have a D&C.

We have a 15 month old DD at home which is helping me get through. I don't have a higher risk of having the same abnormalities again, so we will get through the procedure and start trying again in early spring...are maybe we'll actually 'see what happens' during the winter which wasn't something we did before.

[Alanna]

Jesseybell - I am so sorry to hear about your loss and to see you here. :(

I am thinking of you! ((hugs))

[jesseybell]

Jesseybell - I am so sorry to hear about your loss and to see you here. :(

I am thinking of you! ((hugs))

Thank you.

I see Peaks on your chart :) Crossing my fingers for you. I really do sware by the CBEFM, so hopefully it will do good things for you this cycle!

[MLA]

Jesseybell -- I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Lolly]

Jesseybell, I'm so, so sorry for your loss and that you had to join this thread. The ladies in here offer great support though! I'll be thinking of you.

[Jodi AKA BostonTeacher]

Hi Everyone,

I am here to join the thread :( However, I wanted to personally thank each of you for your openess and stories. I have spent the better part of today reading through this thread from start to finish and have found it to be a huge source of support and encouragement at this time. While I am sad to know so many of you have experienced this, it made me feel much better to know I was not alone. I also found it very inspirational to see so many with healthy pregnancies after a m/c.

To give you a little background I found out I was pregnant on 10/21. I had been having some serious nausea and had been falling asleep by 7pm each night the week before. While I couldn't pinpoint my LMP I assumed I was at around 6 weeks then. The OB's office ordered betas to determine when they could do an ultrasound to date the pregnancy.

The initial beta came back in the 300s. She seemed surprised that it registered on a HPT and said the number was fine, but that I was newly pregnant. I knew this wasn't the case. I had 3 more draws. The number doubled during the first two, but still had be at around 5-6 weeks when I knew I was around 8. The last draw did not show a huge increase.

I think in my heart I new it wasn't viable and in many ways I am grateful for that. We went in for the ultrasound yesterday and the tech said, "oh you're still early...like around 6 weeks." I think I knew then where this was going because clearly I should have been at 9 weeks by my calculations and given the low betas I had been prepared for that. I truly can not imagine the shock and heartache if no heartbeat was detected and I went in assuming all was well.

The tech sent us up to meet with an OB. I found him to be very patient, compassionate and he truly handled the situation in the best way anyone could. He told me to take the night to process all the info he was giving me and that I could either schedule a D&C or wait to see what happens naturally.

The only concern with the latter is the upcoming weekend and holiday.

After reading through this thread I was prepared to schedule the D&C, but still felt like it was a huge decision to make. We have a wonderful 2 year old and while we were thrilled with the timing of this pregnancy it was our first and only attempt at TTC since his birth. I am anxious to just move on and I am afraid of how long I will be waiting for this to happen on it's own. He also said that if I opted to go the natural route and found it to be too uncomfortable to go to the ER. I think I am more comfortable with a scheduled D&C than dealing with an ER doctor.

Anyhow, the office called today and said, "your procedure is scheduled for 11:30 tomorrow." I am taking that as a sign that the decision was made for me and I am looking forward to just getting this over with.

Again, thank you all for being so open and honest. I can't even begin to explain how much your posts have helped me understand this process better.

For those of you who have had a D&C can I ask what recovery was like? I am a 3rd grade teacher. The doctor seemed to think I could return to work the next day. Do you think this is accurate?

[MLA]

Jodi -- I don't have any experience w/D&C, as both my m/c's were natural and didn't need any intervention. I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss.

Two new members in one day. That's really cruddy. :(

[tealynn]

Jesseybell and Jodi, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some comfort in this thread. Every one here so understanding and supportive. Don't be afraid to say it like it is...we understand what it's like and how hard it can be.

It kind of sounds like a Hallmark card but I really mean it!

[ahavnes]

Jessybell- I am so sorry for your loss. Finding out at the end of the first trimester is heart-wrenching, but like others have said, there is some great support in this thread. I wish you well in the D&C and over the next few days.

Jodi- I am so sorry for your loss. To answer your question, the recovery for a D&C is the easy part. :o I felt a little stiff and sore all over my body the next day and had a sore throat from the anesthesia, but other than that I was fine. I was able to chase my toddler around if that tells you anything! ;) Please feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. Truly, the surgery and physical recovery were a piece of cake. Again, I am so sorry.

[jen]

Haven't been here in awhile, just wanted to come offer some support.

Jodi & JessyBell, I'm so sorry for your losses.

[jesseybell]

Jodi - I am so sorry for your loss as well. Good luck tomorrow. I wish I could have mine so quickly.

The doctor called and my D&E is scheduled for Saturday afternoon. My OB has office hours on Thurs and Fridays and the schedule is very busy then anyways. I am glad that he will be the one to do it.

General Anesthesia or Sedation? I really haven't had time to read up on this, but I have known people who have had both kinds. My OB said they do it through local and heavy sedation. I am a little scared of that because I've never had anything but general, but at the same time I take so long to come out of anesthesia that I would be there until midnight.

I just hope and pray I won't start bleeding before then. I am staying home and working until then just in case.

[Jodi AKA BostonTeacher]

Thank you everyone.

Jesseybell: I wish you could get in sooner, but I agree that having your doctor do it adds comfort. My understanding is that my doctor will use general anesthesia. I specifically asked because I am petrified of all things medical in general and wanted to be sure that I would be unaware. He said it was a very light anesthesia, but when I asked him to clarify he did say that I would be out and have no memory of it. I hope this is the case.

I'm concerned with returning to work. As I mentioned, I am a teacher. I love my staff and they really mean well. I just know that if someone "goes missing" for more than a day, they inquire. Clearly, a 3 day hiatus is going to cause people to ask if I'm alright. While I don't feel as though this needs to remain a secret, I'm just not in a place where I can talk about it without tears yet. The last thing I want is to have to face my students with crying eyes.

Again...thank you!

[Mrs.Chappy]

Jodi, i am sorry for your loss.
No, you can't return to work the day after a d&c. I had mine on a Thur and was told to take it easy for 5 days. No lifting,etc. I think you will be too sore. immediately after, in the recovery room i was crampy. Then just sore for several days. then the emotional kicked in so i was in no shape to return to work for several days. And even still, it was hard emotionally. The physical should heal within several days. Does this help??

[jesseybell]

My doctor said that I would have no memory of it whatsoever. Maybe I'll get the cute anesthesiologist (actually I couldn't tell if he was cute, he was all covered up) I had when I had my DD - after 21 hours of labor, 2+ hours of pushing, at 9:30 pm I was professing my love to him for all the cool drugs he gave me.

I am not sure what I will do about work next week. Monday I didn't go in because I just couldn't face anyone. And the rest of this week I just don't see the need - though I can work from home. I just don't want to see anyone until it is all over.

But for next week, I think they will be okay if I was to continue staying at home. Thankfully it is a short week. I was planning on taking Wednesday off as well, though I am no longer cooking Thanksgiving dinner like I originally was going to.

[Annette]

Jesseybell & Jodi-I'm so sorry for both of your losses. {{{hugs}}} I hope the D&C's go well for both of you.

[Sand]

Jesseybell - I am sorry for your loss. I hope you find the support you might need here. I wish I could help you with your d&c questions, but I haven't had a d&c with any of mine. I'd made up my mind I would have had general once, but ended up not needing the d&c. I remember everything from a different procedure when I was under light sedation and I dont think I would want to remember. Sending you good thoughts and a quick physical recovery.

Jodi - I am sorry for your loss too. I'm also sorry that work is such a concern. Hopefully you will feel well enough to keep it your business only until you want it to be anyone else's.

[ThreeYell]

Jesseybell and Jodi, I'm so sorry to see both of you here. My heart breaks for each new person going through this. :(

My situation was a little different because I was induced and delivered first then had the "C" part of a D&C. I already had lots of drugs in my system but when they did the D&C they gave me Versed (sp?). It's not general anesthesia but it knocks you out completely for a short amount of time. You won't remember a thing during the procedure or, if you're like me, for about an hour after. I was awake and having conversations when I came out of it that are 100% gone from my memory.

I hope you both get through the physical part quickly and easily. We'll all be here for the emotional part after. Thinking of both of you.

[Annette]

I've had the light anesthesia for a wisdom tooth extraction. Like Three Yell, I don't remember a thing from the event or the ride home.
I was out 3 days with the first m/c and 1 day with the second. The second was not as far along and I think it was a chem pg.

[miel]

Jerseybell I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you will be under. You won't remember anything with versid--at least my husband did not when he had it for a procedure.

Jodi I'm sorry about your loss.

I was actually sobbing like a maniac yesterday minutes before going to teach and maybe I'm wrong but I swear no one could tell. And these are college students. But I still think you should take time off.

I kept mine a secret for a variety of reasons but I think it is better if you can tell people.

[ahavnes]

Anesthesia- My OB must really have wanted me out b/c they gave me Versed on the way to the OR and then the gas that totally knocked me out. I had the breathing tube and everything. Hmph.:cool: Just as well.

Annette- I just realized we are in the same town (Austin)! Small world. :)

[cr8zyforaf]

jeseybell - I am so sorry for your loss.

Jodi - I am so sorry.

As far as the d&c..it was fine (I was almost 3 months when I had it done) - I was up and very anxious to leave the hospital. DH took me to lunch and then we went and got DD right after. I was physically fine but did nothing but lay around - I took some time off of work and I had plans to do a ton of stuff - but I did nothing but lay around and cry. The physical part was a piece of cake - the emotional part stunk.

I did get my period...I have not made the appointment with the RE...DH was in a very serious accident at work - he broke his leg in numerous places, has been through 2 surgeries, and is still in the hospital (this happened on Sunday)..one tragedy after another.

Baby shower was fine this weekend - I only cried once and had to get snarky with an aunt who after three times asking me what I was waiting for - I finally snapped and screamed "i just had a miscarriage" to which everyone looked like they wanted to crawl under the tables.

I had a quick dinner with my three daycare mommy friends last night - and one announced that she is 6 weeks pregnant so I was up all night crying about that - I am the last one in the group who isn't pregnant or already has 2 and all of our girls are exactly the same age. I feel sick even thinking about it.

[MLA]

cr8zy -- I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. That's awful. My thoughts will be with you, hoping he heals completely and quickly. Hugs to you.

[jesseybell]

cr8zy - Ugh - I am so sorry about your DH. That sucks!

I hope I am up and about quickly - my parents are taking DD over night, so while it would be nice to see her Saturday evening, DH and I will need our rest. And DH will take Monday off and take her to daycare (thankfully daycare is just down the street)

Right now I feel like a ticking time bomb, waiting to see if I start bleeding or not. I really hope I do not.

DH and I work together and a lot of people know that we want another child but not a lot of people at work knew I was pregnant. But over the last couple of months I have gotten quite a bit of 'So now it's time for #2' - I don't know how I will react when I get those again. I have to send a co-worker a baby gift - she was one of 2 people I had told. I feel a little guilty putting a sticky in the box telling her, but it's not like we're close so I won't be emailing her while she is on leave, so it's the only way I have to tell her.

[MLA]

jesseybell -- hugs to you. It's hard to figure out how to deal w/the loss when people don't know about it.

me -- My BFF had her baby girl yesterday. I'm absolutely THRILLED for her and her DH. The baby's perfect, and my BFF is doing well (it was a scheduled c-section, due to all sorts of factors including gestational diabetes leading to a big baby who was breach and refused to turn around). I'm really, truly so happy for her, and I don't begrudge her any of her happiness. But here's where I feel like a complete asshat. I'm feeling sorry for myself. I'm sad, sad, sad that I'm not pregnant. I've been feeling on the verge of tears for the past hour or so, thinking about my m/c's.

Add to that the fact that I STILL don't have my test results from the RE, and I'm feeling pretty cruddy. :(

[cr8zyforaf]

Right now I feel like a ticking time bomb, waiting to see if I start bleeding or not. I really hope I do not.

I felt the same way - and I did not start bleeding. I found out on a Wednesday and couldn't have the d&c until the following Monday. I did as little as possible (fearing any activity...s*x for example) would start the bleeding.

MLA - I am so sorry. I don't think you should feel like an asshat - it is totally normal (I feel sorry for myself all the time...last night all I wanted to do was scream when I found out my friend is pregnant but instead I ate a big piece of cake that I didn't need and went home and sobbed myself to sleep) - it is sad and I think we all feel sorry for ourselves..it is a completely cr*ppy thing to have to go through and then the mixture of emotions of being happy for our friends but secretly wondering why it can't be us (and what did we do to deserve this) is horrible. How much longer do you have to wait for the results?

[MLA]

Thanks, cr8zy. I think I needed to read that. To answer your question -- I don't know when I'll get the results. The lab technician said it would take about a week, but yesterday was a week and still nothing. And I've not gotten response from the nurses at my RE (I've called when they're in meetings and had to leave messages). Maybe I'll try calling again . . .

[jesseybell]

I felt the same way - and I did not start bleeding. I found out on a Wednesday and couldn't have the d&c until the following Monday. I did as little as possible (fearing any activity...s*x for example) would start the bleeding.


I know, I have been taking it relatively easy. I have been on self-imposed pelvic rest since conception (I am at a higher risk for an incompetent cervix, though it didn't present itself during last pregnancy) so I am dieing to have sex, especially since I don't know how long we'll need to wait until after the d&c. But I don't want to risk starting to bleed

Pregnant Friends - We have 2. One is my neighbor who is due in March - our DD's are 13 months apart and I was looking forward to having newborns together. Now it looks like our second children could be 13 months apart as well. We have another friend who is due 2 days before I was - we had to cancel her daughter's 3rd birthday party for this Saturday (even if the D&C wasn't that day we would have canceled). Luckily though we don't see them that often. I have 1 friend who has been trying for 5-6 years - no matter when she gets pregnant I will cry for her, tears of joy. We really were the last of our friends to have children (most have already had #2 as well), so I don't expect really any pregnancies upcoming, thankfully.

[cr8zyforaf]

I would call again - they totally understand your wanting answers.

One thing my ob told me was to not feel guilty for my feelings. I had a very candid discussion with SIL - who is 8 months pregnant about how hard it is for me to see her and how it had nothing to do with me not being happy for them and more to do with me being sad for what I lost and I felt so much better. You may want to mention your feelings to your friend - it may make you feel so much better just to get it out in the open and I am sure she would totally understand.

[cr8zyforaf]

jessy - 2 weeks. I had to wait until after my 2 week checkup to have s*x.

[jesseybell]

jessy - 2 weeks. I had to wait until after my 2 week checkup to have s*x.

That is good to know. I have an appointment on November 30th which would have been my 15 week check up - I presume he'll want me to keep that one. I am going to call the office though to make sure that they put in the computer that it is a d&c follow-up, not a routine pg exam so they don't hand me a cup to pee in as soon as I walk in.

[ThreeYell]

Oh no, cr8zy! I'm so sorry about your husband's accident. Hey universe, let up on cr8zy and her family, OK?

MLA, you're happy for your friend. And you're sad for you. They aren't mutually exclusive and you are far, far from an asshat. I'm sorry things are rough right now.

[Jodi AKA BostonTeacher]

Hi Everyone,

I had my D&C today. While I'm sure I will have my ups and downs in the weeks to come I can honestly say that I feel SO MUCH better right now. It's kind of hard to explain, but I feel like a giant "reset button" has just been hit for me. Finding out on Monday that the pregnancy was over, but not knowing what was going to happen in terms of when I would start bleeding, how much blood, how much pain, where would I be, would there be a complication, etc. really had me anxious, stressed out and even more upset. The D&C was the best option for me.

The blood test was the most painful part. After that they took me into the room, had me strip down into a johnny and started an IV. This was around 1:00. I met with the doctor and anesthesioligist briefly. The wheeled me into the OR and I went to sleep. When I woke up I felt like I had a UTI, but that was the only pain involved. Turns out that it was just discomfort from the catheter (sp) they had inserted during the surgery. After I peed I felt fine. I was up and walking around by 4:30 and feel fine at this point. I am bleeding a bit, but it just feels like a period.

As I mentioned before reading through this thread was so helpful to me when I learned of my miscarriage. I wanted to share m story so that others would know it wasn't bad at all.

Obviously, there will be a lot of emotional healing to contend with, but at this time I am just so happy to not be pregnant. By that I mean that the limbo period of technically being pregnant, but knowing that it wasn't going to amount to anything was far too much for me to handle. Right now I feel like I am back at square one and while I would prefer to be 9w pregnant with a healthy baby this is a much better place to be in than where I was the past few days.

cr8zy Oh Man! Your poor hubby! I hope he recovers quickly.

[sunmoonstars75]

(x-posted just about everywhere)

jenahdawn update - no baby girl yet, but she was admitted yesterday afternoon after her appointment. They confirmed today that she has mild pre-e, and will be at the hospital until Saturday night or Sunday morning, when they will start induction.

She is thinking about all of you, and was sad to hear there were new members of 'the club.'

I'll be sure to be back when I have more info.

[Annette]

Sun-Thanks for the update on Jenah. How far along is she?

cr8zy-I hope your hubby has a speedy recovery.

MLA-I hope you get your test results soon. It's okay to feel how you're feeling. {{{hugs}}}

jodi-glad your D&C went well.

jessey-hope you are doing okay.

ahaves-I PMed you.

me: Well my 7dpo progesterone test results were 8.2. Is this okay for a sticky pg?

[ahavnes]

sunmoonstars- Thank you for the update. Please let her know we are thinking of her too!

cr8zy- I am so sorry for you and your DH! That's horrible! Speedy recovery vibes.

MLA- I totally know how you feel and I think it's perfectly normal. I had the same feelings last week and it has been almost 4 months since my D&C. It really does take time to heal, so don't beat yourself up. You have every right to feel sad from time to time.

Jodi- That is exactly how I felt after my D&C at 12 weeks. I hope you have a speedy physical recovery and I am so glad things went smoothly today.

Annette- I know nothing about progesterone numbers, sorry! :o I sent you a PM about getting together.

[Sand]

sunmoonstars - Thank you for the update on Jenah. I will be sending her my good thoughts and prayers.

[Taylandra]

Jesseybell and Jodi, I'm so, so sorry to see that you have joined us. Jodi, I'm glad that the D&C went well and you are feeling ok physically. Jesseybell, I hope that your D&C goes smoothly. I don't have any experience with that procedure, but it sounds like you have gotten some good info from the other ladies!

MLA- Don't feel like that! This past weekend, I have been so happy for my friends who just had their baby last week, my BFF who had her baby shower, and another friend who is due in a week. But, like you, I have felt so irritable and sad that I am not pregnant right along with them. I haven't really thought about "I would be XX weeks right now" until this weekend. It sucks and I just want to think positively again. Good luck hearing from your RE soon as well!

cr8zy- I must have missed your post...I hope you and DH are okay or at least on the way to being ok!

Annette- Ditto on not knowing info about progesterone numbers...I hope you get an answer soon!

Sunmoonstars- Thanks for the update. I hope everything goes smoothly for her and baby!

[jesseybell]

Jodi - I am glad that you are doing okay. I am just so anxious to get mine over with. I hate this limbo: I am not pregnant, but I still kind of am. It also sucks that today is Wednesday - Wednesdays are the day I turned a new week, the day I would look at FF's pregancy site. I would have been 13w today.

I spent more time today "untelling" people, which sucks. But on a good note I got flowers from work - the card was "hope you are feeling better soon" which I felt was very appropriate. "I am so sorry for your loss" flowers would have sucked.

[hiphopgirl]

jesseybell I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your D&C goes well. Mine wasn't bad at all. In fact, the only reason I took the whole day off was because I was sad and couldn't face anyone. Physically I felt fine.

Jodi - I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad that you are feeling better. You will have good days and bad days. I can remember the initial relief after the D&C so I know exactly what you mean.

MLA - If you're an asshat then I don't know what that makes me because my thoughts have been much darker than that sometimes. I know you are happy for your friend. It's okay to be sad for you. Like someone else said, they are two different things and don't have to be mutually exclusive.

cr8zy - I'm sorry about your DH. Good for you for saying something to your aunt. Hopefully she was sympathetic afterwards.

Sunmoonstars - Thanks for the update. I hope all is going well for Jenah.

[MLA]

Thanks, everyone, for letting me know I'm not alone in these feelings. I really appreciate it. I spoke w/the RE's office yesterday, and they couldn't find my name in the lab's system. That could be due to the results not being in yet, or it could be due to them having lost the results. I really hope they haven't lost them. I don't want another 10 vials of blood drawn! :eek:

I think AF is on her way, finally. It took me forever to O this cycle, so it's been an unusually long one -- not surprising since its the cycle after my last m/c.



I haven't really thought about "I would be XX weeks right now" until this weekend. It sucks and I just want to think positively again. Good luck hearing from your RE soon as well!


Taylandra -- I know what you mean. A friend of mine who's due about a week before I would have been if my first pregnancy had stuck, had her 20 week ultrasound last week. That made me realize that if I'd held onto that pregnancy, I'd be going in on Friday, and I'd know the gender of my baby. :(

[Eric's Wife]

I have been lurking for awhile since my m/c. Hugs and sympathy to all of the new members who have joined.

Taylandra: I also have thought about how many weeks I would have been along with the pg. I would have been finished with the first trimester.

cr8zyforaf I wish I had the courage to tell it like it is to people who were questioning you about being PG. I have a coworker who keeps asking me when I am going to have a baby. I want to say it like you did to that relative but I haven't had the courage.

Jodi I'm a teacher too. I found out that I had miscarried at school. Luckily I didn't have to deal with too many questions. I hope you have the same "luck".

[jesseybell]

I woke up this morning to find crusts on my nipples (sorry if TMI) meaning I was leaking in the night. I haven't had this since I weaned back in February. With DD my breasts didn't grow at all during pregnancy but this time they were already really full. Just another thing I can't wait to go away as it is a reminder.

[cr8zyforaf]

Ericswife - if you give me their number, I will call them :)....I can be blunt at times and I wish I could keep my mouth shut more.

jesseybell - I am so sorry. I can't even imagine. I am thinking of you.

MLA - do you have any answers?

Me, I haven't even had time to think about it - the RE called me back but I haven't returned their call..with DH in the shape he is in, it will be months before we can even think about TTC...yet another thing to be sad and angry about.

[ThreeYell]

jesseybell, I'm so sorry. I had milk come in, too, and it just about sent me over the edge. I hope it goes away soon.

[miel]

Jerseybell I'm sorry, that's very tough.

Well it looks like another chemical pregnancy. I guess it won't be as hard as the other one because I'm not as far along.

[jesseybell]

miel - I am so sorry that this ended up being another chemical pg. Hugs to you.

[Lizzy]

jesseybell and Jodi - I am so sorry for your losses. I hope this thread will be a comfort to you.

me - my body is officially back to normal. Now I am feeling conflicted about TTC... I am having a hard time wanting to try again. I know that I really do want to try again - having kids has always been part of my plan. But right now I'm just not feeling it. I suppose it is part of the process. I am trying to decide if I should just push through the feelings and get ready to start trying ASAP, or if I should just wait until I feel like I want to try. Neither option has a lot of appeal.

[cr8zyforaf]

meil - I am so sorry,.

[Taylandra]

Just wanted to pop in quickly to say sorry to meil...I really wish that you weren't having another chemical pregnancy! :(

ETA-Sorry about the type...I hope you knew what I meant!

[Annette]

miel-I'm so sorry. {{{hugs}}}

[miel]

Thanks you guys. I knew from the first minute it was a chemical. It's not the same as before where I sort of had the attachment you get with pregnancy.

I am fairly sad I no longer qualify for fertility treatments. So this just means I have to hope and pray this freak accident of two pgs. in a row continues and then one of the eggs is a keeper.

[hiphopgirl]

miel - I am so sorry for this loss.

[jesseybell]

I am home from my D&E. The worst part was waiting - we got there at 12 for a 1:30 procedure, which didn't start until 4:00. They kept us in a waiting room with another couple for a few hours. But once it got started it was over quickly. I was under completely - i guess what they meant by not full anesthesia was that I didn't have a breathing tube. I wasn't even in an OR - it was down right in my room.

I am just thankful that part is over and on to the healing, both physically and psychologically.

[miel]

Jerseybell I'm so glad that part is over. And that you were under. Take care of yourself.

[DansGirl]

Don't know if I threadmistresses are still adding stats, if so, here's mine, if not, no biggie.

DansGirl
Me: 27
DH: 33
DD: 9 months
M/C: @ 12 weeks, Sept. 17, 2007
____

Boy I hate to be joining this thread and, by the date of my M/C, you can see I've been resistant. Thank you to those of you who have guided me here. A big thank you. Lurking has been helpful, now I'm ready to post.

We found out we were pregnant when DD was a little over 6 months. Shock quickly subsided to sheer joy. I would look at DD and 'see' her new bro/sis playing alongside. We were immediately a family of 4. I made plans to quit my job when baby arrived, life was good...

I had an appointment at 8:00 a.m. on Monday, Sept. 17th for an ultrasound. Didn't have an ultrasound this early with DD, but Dr. wanted to get size and due date squared away. Its odd b/c that night b/f I laid in bed and whispered to DH, "something's not right." I physically felt fine, but something swept across my thoughts, some premonition. DH reassured me everything was fine and I quickly agreed and said, "I'm just hormonal" and fell asleep. DH left that morning for a business trip. He was very disappointed he was missing the appointment - as he came to most of my appts. for DD. But I said I would call him right after with an update. As I laid on the ultrasound table, I again had that feeling from the night b/f (again, I physically felt fine). The ultrasound tech proceeded with her business. She didn't look at me, however, (I now understand why). Later, Dr. came in with the bad news - no heartbeat or movement. He thinks the baby died around 10-11 weeks.

Stunned, shocked, in disbelief, I headed home called DH (who I caught before he boarded his plane). He rushed home and we laid in bed and wept. I was going to tell work that day that I was pregnant, instead I called and told them I had a M/C and would be taking the week off. We hadn't told many people but we made a few calls, including to our babysitter who kept DD a little later that day.

4 days later, on Thursday, I had a D&C. I woke up from the anesthia (sp?) sobbing for the baby, but other than emotional sh*t, recovery was no problem. I only bled for maybe 1/2 day following the D&C. Other than that, no physical pain, not even a Tylenol.

I'm sorry to write a book, there's so much more I could write, but this is a start.
_________
I'm so sorry the rest of you have endured this and pray for you all.

[miel]

Dansgirl

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is strange how people have those premonitions. You write about it so well but I wish you didn't have to.

[DansGirl]

Miel: I've never been much of a writer. But IRL, I don't have many friends who really know this feeling, so writing has helped. I'm sorry to hear of your chemical pregnancy. B/c I'm an idiot, I didn't even know what that was until this thread. I'm sorry you have to know what it is too.

[Annette]

jessey-glad to hear the D&E went well.

dansgirl-I am so sorry for your loss. Don't be sorry about writing your thoughts. We're here to listen. {{{hugs}}}

[Eric's Wife]

Dansgirl: sorry for your loss. My mom had a similar feeling with my pregnancy. She said that she just couldn't let herself get excited for my PG (my 1st) until we had an ultrasound. She wasn't sure why she felt this way before I had the m/c but I guess it was a premonition after all.

[cr8zyforaf]

Dansgirl - I am so so sorry. Your story is so much like mine. My heart aches for you.

[ahavnes]

Dan's Girl- I am so, so sorry. Your story is so much like mine. I also found out at 12 weeks and, like you, I had a bad, bad feeling. Funny how we women know these things. I am just so sorry you have to go through this as well. It seems like so many women in this thread have lost babies at the end of the first trimester. I just don't get it. :o

jesseybelle-Glad the surgery went well.

[Sand]

Dansgirl - Dont ever be sorry for putting your feelings into words here. That is what this thread is here for. I'm so sorry.

[sunmoonstars75]

Miss Lillian Grace has made her arrival!

I am so pleased to announce the arrival of Lillian Grace, who was born this evening at 9:24 pm. She is 18" long and 6'11". Dad sounded over the moon and Mom is doing well. I'll let her give more details when she gets home, which will be this week sometime.

Congrats Jenahdawn and family!!

[Annette]

sun-That is great news from Jenah! Tell her congrats for us.

[jesseybell]

Dansgirl - I am so sorry for your loss as well. I think I had a feeling too. When I went for my nuchal test I almost grabbed a pair of maternity jeans because I planned on telling work that day. Something told me not to though.

As for me I am doing okay. Pretty much dealing with bleeding which really comes and goes which is annoying. I called in sick from work today - I planned on working from home as I have been since 11/9, but I really just wanted a day off. After all, I spent my Saturday in the hospital. That isn't a fun way to spend a weekend.

[ThreeYell]

miel, I'm sorry for another loss.

Dansgirl, I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome to the thread. Your post was so moving, especially where you wrote about knowing something was wrong. I had the same feeling. I think it's pretty amazing that your body can let you know something like that and ever since, I've been making an effort to listen to my body, especially now as we TTC.

jesseybell, I hope you get to have a relaxing day at home today.

And I am so, so happy and excited for jenahdawn! Congratulations, jenah, and welcome to the world Lillian Grace!

[DansGirl]

Thank you to all your warm welcomes.

Isn't it interesting how many of us "felt" something wrong. Intuition at its best (and worst) I suppose.
...

Congrats jenahdawn - what a beautiful name for your DD!

[Lolly]

miel and Dansgirl, I'm so sorry for what both of you are going through.

Jesseybell, glad you feel better and I hope you get to relax today.

[hiphopgirl]

Dansgirl - I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort from all the women here.

jenahdawn - Congratulations on the birth of your baby girl.

[cr8zyforaf]

Great news about jenahdawn - thanks for the update.

[jesseybell]

Going to the mall yesterday with DH and seeing pregnant women and women with little, little babies wasn't that hard. Calling my OB right now to make sure that my 11/30 appointment is in the computer as a 'D&C follow-up' and not a '15 week visit' sucked!

[cr8zyforaf]

jesseybell - Glad to hear you are doing well. Just a warning..going back to the ob for my follow up was horrible. I sobbed from the minute I got there until I left..and it was totally unexpected because I thought I was dealing so well. Going back to the place where it all happened set me back and I wished someone would have warned me that it could be a horrible experience.

[jesseybell]

jesseybell - Glad to hear you are doing well. Just a warning..going back to the ob for my follow up was horrible. I sobbed from the minute I got there until I left..and it was totally unexpected because I thought I was dealing so well. Going back to the place where it all happened set me back and I wished someone would have warned me that it could be a horrible experience.

I am nervous about it, though none of the m/c stuff happened there - it was all at the hospital's fetal medicine department. But knowing that we would have heard the heart beat and we would have scheduled our 'big u/s' for shortly before Xmas is going to suck.

[Lolly]

jesseybell, down the hall from my OB's office is a ped. office. While I was in the waiting room I remember hearing a tiny new baby crying out in the hall, and I remember thinking of that as a sound that made me happy, not sad. But once they called me up to the front desk to have me fill out paperwork, I could barely get out that this was now a followup visit, not a regular visit, because I was miscarrying. Actually saying it out loud at that moment was worse than sitting next to a pregnant woman or seeing a little baby (which did not bother me at all). Luckily I sat back down, right back next to a pregnant woman, and I stopped crying after a minute. But that was two days after I found out. I didn't have my D&C until a week later. Going back for that followup was fine.

I too felt something was wrong when I had miscarried. I just did not feel pregnant at all. I recall telling the few friends that knew that if it wasn't for the repeated positive pregnancy tests, then I wouldn't believe I was pregnant (I took a ton of tests for weeks). I think that's why I'm having morning sickness this time. To remind me every few hours. Still worry from time to time though. I even stopped by the OB's office yesterday just to have them use the doppler on me. I needed that reassurance then, and I'm so happy they let me come in. I'm trying not to be overly concerned with everything this time, but its really hard not to.

My heart aches for all of you and you are always in my thoughts!

[MLA]

miel -- I'm so sorry that you've once again had to deal with this. It's not fair.

DansGirl -- I hate that you had to join this thread. I'm very, very sorry for your loss.

me -- I've been out of town and away from the computer for several days, which is why I've not updated yet. So here it is: Regarding my test results, I got some of them back (still waiting on 2), and they're normal. The only thing the doctor was a little concerned about was that one of my results indicated that I don't have as many normal, healthy eggs as a woman my age should, but she said it didn't strike her as something to freak out about. So, I'm waiting for the 2 results to come back, and I have to go in for my HSG. Once all the results are in, I'll have another app't with the doctor to discuss next steps.

ETA: I'm soooooo happy for JenahDawn! Congratulations. :D

[Annette]

jessey-glad to hear you are doing better.
For me, the follow up visit the day after I m/c'd was extremely difficult. It was hard to be surrounded by pregnant women and newborns. I am hoping I have morning sickness for my next pregnancy.

mla-Glad to hear your results are normal. When is your HSG? I hope the rest of your tests are normal.

me:Tomorrow's my HSG and I hope I stop spotting. I'll keep you guys posted.
I met up with Alicia (Ahavnes) today for lunch. It was nice meeting someone here IRL.

[hiphopgirl]

MLA - I'm glad your results are normal. They can tell how many eggs you have just by your blood test? Or did they do something else?

Annette - Good luck with your HSG. Can I ask a dumb question? What is involved in doing the HSG and how do they think it can help? I thought that was something that was done for people who had a hard time getting pregnant, not those of us that are having a hard time staying pregnant. I just want to know if it is something I should inquire about when I go see my doctor.

I can't remember if I posted this already, but I finally got my blood draw done late last week. They drew 11 vials of blood. I'm kind of hoping that it is the same stuff that MLA had done so we can compare notes ;) I'm guessing that I won't have my results until next week due to the holiday. I wonder if it is too high maintenance of me to call next Monday. I'm so anxious to find something out.The practical side of me is prepared for there to be nothing unusual - after all the two m/c were totally different (fetal death vs. blighted ovum). It seems weird to me that I am hoping that there is something wrong with me. That's not typically something you root for.

[DansGirl]

MLA: Good news on your tests and I hope your upcoming appt. has more good news.

jesseybellB]: My advice for the follow-up appointment is to arrive as late as possible so as not to wait around in the waiting room for a long time. It's a pretty quick appointment. ((hugs)).

[B]Annette: I hope you stop spotting too. Just remember that not all spotting is bad. good luck with the HSG.

Lolly: that's so nice of your doc to just let you stop in for the doppler, they sound very understanding.

hiphopgirl: Try to have a good holiday and not wonder too much (I know, easier said than done). : )

[MLA]

hiphopgirl -- Yeah, they were able to tell how many eggs I had from the blood. I'm guessing it has to do w/levels of hormones or something.

We'll definitely have to compare notes on the tests!
And believe me, I understand you wanting something to be wrong. I was a little disappointed that everything seemed "normal" so far.

As far as the HSG goes -- you're right that it can help doctors figure out why someone can't get pregnant, i.e. they can tell if your tubes are blocked. But it shows more than just that. It can show if you have a fibrous or malformed uterus, which makes it impossible for a good implantation to happen. Since you've already delivered a healthy child, they probably figure your uterus is fine, but it can't hurt to ask your doctor about it.

[Jodi AKA BostonTeacher]

Question: Were you ladies told how long you should wait after a miscarriage to start TTC again? I just called to schedule my D&C follow-up and won't be seen until 12/28 which is actually much later than I would have thought. I am going to be away the week they had openings and then b/c of the holidays 12/28 is the soonest available. He had originally told me to see what happened with getting my period and we would chat at our appointment.

That brings me to question #2. How long afterwards was it before you got your period? I hate to be blindsided by it. I only had the D&C last week and so I wouldn't assume to get it anytime soon, however, I have had a wicked migraine all day and I only have gotten them in the past as a part of PMS a few days before my period.

Thanks so much and Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

[jesseybell]

Question: Were you ladies told how long you should wait after a miscarriage to start TTC again? I just called to schedule my D&C follow-up and won't be seen until 12/28 which is actually much later than I would have thought. I am going to be away the week they had openings and then b/c of the holidays 12/28 is the soonest available. He had originally told me to see what happened with getting my period and we would chat at our appointment.

That brings me to question #2. How long afterwards was it before you got your period? I hate to be blindsided by it. I only had the D&C last week and so I wouldn't assume to get it anytime soon, however, I have had a wicked migraine all day and I only have gotten them in the past as a part of PMS a few days before my period.

Thanks so much and Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!


I am sorry you couldn't get in to see him until 12/28. My OB wanted to see me in 2-3 weeks....I just so happened to have an appointment 2 weeks out since my m/c wasn't detected at the doctor's office.

Our genetic counselor told us after 2 cycles. My doctor told me on Saturday at the D&C 8 weeks, regardless of cycles. He said to expect AF in 4-8 weeks....now if only I would stop bleeding. Not that it is out of control and he did say to expect a week, but physically the bleeding is the only sign of the D&C and I want it gone - especially since I can't stand pads. I bled for 8 weeks with DD and it was just so miserable. I am always afraid of leaking, thus my black pants get really old, really fast.

[hiphopgirl]

Jodi AKA BostonTeacher - I got my period exactly 30 days after my m/c - both times (1st was D&C; 2nd was natural). I was told to wait one full cycle to start TTC after my first m/c. We didn't set a date with the second. Everyone here will tell you that it has more to do with readiness than with any medical reason. The only reason they even tell you to wait the one period is for pregnancy dating. It is obviously a lot harder to date a pregnancy if you've never had a period. Sorry you can't get in to see your doctor any earlier. I can only imagine how frustrating that is.

jesseybell - I know exactly what you mean. It felt like the bleeding went on forever (it was actually a little less than two weeks with the D&C I think). Pads are the worst and you just want it over already. Hang in there.

Me - The nurse's ears were burning because she just called to tell me that of the tests she's gotten back, everything looks normal. She only rattled off about 4 tests so it looks like the verdict is still out on the majority of them. She didn't mention anything about my eggs so I don't think that was one of them.

While I appreciate the fact that she called me to tell me the results it is still somewhat unsatisfying. I just feel like now I know what isn't wrong with me. That doesn't really help. Sigh. Oh well. It could be worse. It could be much, much worse.

[miel]

Did anyone have PPD symptoms after their mc? I seem to get them. I think it is the progesterone swing but I don't know. I'm really dreading when this one finishes because I'm already getting all weepy and I hate what came after that the last time.

Hiphopgirl I wonder if sometimes it is not bad luck also. Do you know if something is wrong and just have to find out what? Did you look at immunity? I'm sorry if you wrote about this and I don't remember.

[Lizzy]

MLA - I'm glad that your results are normal... but I am sure that this news was a mixed blessing of sorts.

Jodi AKA BostonTeacher - I combed the net for information on when to TTC again. I really couldn't find any compelling reason to wait. I waffled on whether or not I was emotionally ready for it, but it's been almost three weeks now and I am ready to go.

miel - my emotions are definitely still messy. My husband especially has noticed that I react differently to stress, etc. I am not sure what to expect this week with the holiday and lots of visiting family, not to mention a wedding this weekend.

[Annette]

hiphop-for the HSG, they shoot radioactive dye up your uterus to see if your tubes are open and it also checks for malformations, like polyps, fibroids, etc. There's an HSG thread in the infertility subforum. Hope that answers your question. I hope your blood tests come back normal. But I understand the wanting the tests to come back with some result.

mla-I am disappointed too that everything is normal since it doesn't explain what happened. I still think I have a progesterone issue.

jodi-I m/c'd naturally and I had a normal cycle afterwards.

me: HSG went well and not as painful as I thought it was going to be. Just some slight cramping. Tubes were clear and from what the tech could see my uterus looked fine. So now we can finally start trying again. Maybe my luck was bad? I hope I get a nice sticky BFP for Christmas.

[Jill1228]

Jodi, my AF came 43 days after my D&C

[miel]

Lizzy I hope that things are OK for you over the holidays.

[cr8zyforaf]

MLA - glad you got some results but yes, it sounds like finding nothing wrong was a mixed blessing.

jody - AF came 47 days after my d&c...however I had spotting about 7 days prior to AF. As far as how long to wait, my ob told me not to wait too long due to my age (35)..she told me the standard line they give is 3 cycles but she said she found no medical evidence to support waiting that long so told me it was ok once I got my period to start. Sorry you can't get in sooner with your doctor - that stinks.

hiphop - I can understand that verdict being unsettling...it is so frustrating, isn't it?

me, I am depressed. Everyone was saying how excited they are today about SIL's baby coming in 6 weeks...it is just so sad. And there is no chance of us trying any time soon due to DH's broken leg (he has to go back in for surgery on Wednesday)...I feel sad and empty and hating life because it all seems so unfair.

[Lizzy]

cr8zy - I am so sorry that you are feeling depressed. I would feel the same way - right now I am so afraid that a friend or family member will become pregnant soon.

Also, I forgot to mention that my husband broke his leg in January. His was more of a typical break, but still... it was a very challenging time for both of us! He had a hard time dealing with it and I was suddenly responsible for everything with the house, the pets, not to mention his transportation. Hang in there!

[jesseybell]

cr8zy - I am sorry you are feeling so down. It is supposed to be such a joyous time of year....but so often it doesn't seem like it.

I was feeling a little down myself today. I was supposed to cook dinner - it was only going to be DH, me and my parents (and DD) but I was looking forward to it. But obviously as soon as we learned about the m/c we switched it to my parents. I physically could have done it today but I wasn't up for the planning it would have taken. I didn't want my parents to take any pictures of me today - I didn't want my little flabby bump captured on film.

We found out (sorry, I should say I found out - I didn't tell DH until the morning when the line was darker) that I was pregnant 2 years ago on Thankgiving. Last year I asked to be pregnant again this year, so there was that reminder. As for next year, who knows what that will bring. Technically I could have a child already, but I am not counting on it.

[Eric's Wife]

Sorry the holiday was so tough on everyone. It hit me as well. We were driving to my parents house when it hit me. What bothered me was DH saying nothing to me at first and when I said something to him, his response was that there was nothing he could say to make me feel better! I had to explain that by saying nothing it made things worse.

[ThreeYell]

I'm sorry people had a rough time yesterday. Add me to the club. One SIL was excitedly telling me about all the people in her family who just announced their pregnancies. I'll be spending part of Christmas with all these people. Yay. :rolleyes:

I'm 3 or 4 DPO and already trying to talk myself out of testing next Thursday, which would have been my due date. Part of me thinks that if I got a BFP, it would make it a happy day. But my therapist and I talked about how it doesn't work like that. The baby I lost and any new baby are two separate things. Having another baby isn't going to make it like the miscarriage never happened.

[MLA]

You know what? We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. And I think that's because we had an "un" Thanksgiving. We didn't visit family, and I didn't cook a big meal. Instead we stayed at a really nice inn that's about 30 minutes from our house and enjoyed time together as a couple. I don't think I would have had such a nice holiday if it had been traditional. I bet being with family right now is hard since we were all going into this holiday season thinking we'd be pregnant (or for long-time members - that we'd have a baby). It really is hard.

I'm sorry so many of us had such a hard holiday. I'm hoping that the rest of the season is easier on everyone.

[Annette]

Our thanksgiving was spent with friends and they're all single with no kids, so I was able to keep the m/c's off my mind. These friends don't know what happened.

[miel]

Jerseybell So sorry you were down. That is sad. I know that there are some things that just trigger those thoughts. ((((Hugs)))))

Ericswife Yes, this is hard because people get scared to talk but they have to talk. It's like people have to be taught what kind of sympathy to give. But we aren't in a position to do that.

Threeyell You can't make up for loss, it's true. Hope you are feeling better.

MLA Nice to hear you had a good holiday. Un-holidays are the best sometimes. I had an unholiday and it was very nice.

cr8zy I'm sorry you are depressed. It does seem unfair sometimes.

Annette I'm glad you could keep things off your mind. Hope you are doing well.

[MLA]

So, I go in for my HSG on Monday. I'm scared. Not of the results, but of the procedure. Wimpy, much? :o

[Annette]

MLA-The HSG really wasn't bad at all. Just take some advil beforehand and you will be fine. For me, I felt a little crampy during the procedure. The setup felt similar to an annual. Good luck!

[jenahdawn]

Our Thanksgiving, besides being sleep deprived, was shifted to Friday (because of what happened this past Sunday!)

But, it almost seemed harder. It was just immediate family, but comments were made and people acted as if the girls just never existed. That was something I dreaded...knowing that it would hurt for people to not acknowledge their existance...I guess I just didn't think it would happen so...soon?

[DansGirl]

Can I join the club?

This was DD's first Thanksgiving and, for the most part, it was lovely. But seeing her play with her cousins, being reminded of the numerous family pregnancies (all of whom have springtime due dates, as I did) - was harder than I thought it would be.

To add it everything, DH & I are more than ready to try again. We want our children close together and would love to get pregnant again asap. Problem? I haven't had my period yet. Doc said 4-6 weeks for it to return. At 7 weeks, I called the nurse and said it hadn't returned, should I be concerned? She said to wait until 12 weeks to schedule an appointment. I'm still Bfeeding DD, so I'm pretty sure that's the reason. But my cyle returned after her pregnancy - where is it now? I'm optimistic that's why it hasn't returned, but its still a cruel joke.

[cr8zyforaf]

Dansgirl - it took about 8 weeks for mine to return..but the nurse did say it could take 3-4 months which I thought was horrible. I am sorry...I know about wanting the kids to be close..I will be lucky to get a 4 year age gap between mine which p*sses me off.

MLA - HSG was just slightly uncomfortable for me. I bled a bit afterwards and had some cramping. I will be thinking of you..I think the anticipation is harder than the actual procedure. Good luck.

jenahdawn - I am sorry - people can be so clueless at times.

[hiphopgirl]

cr8zy - I'm so sorry that you are depressed. I'll try to cheer you up with this visual... my son was conceived while my DH had a broken foot. I was so pissed at him for breaking his foot because we'd been trying for about 5 months. I didn't want to take a month off for it to heal so I pretty much told him to suck it up :) Obviously a broken leg is much worse, but now when I think back about how driven I was it cracks me up.

Dansgirl - I'm so sorry that it is taking so long. I remember how eager I was to get back at it after my first m/c. Even waiting 30 days was a challenge. I can only imagine how frustrating that is.

jenahdawn - Congrats on the birth of your daughter. I'm sorry that your relatives were being so insensitive.

MLA - Good luck with the HSG. I hope it goes well.

Oddly enough the holidays weren't as hard on me as I expected them to be. The only thing that ticked me off was something my SIL said. She gave me her old maternity clothes (I asked her to because I knew she was just going to give them to goodwill and I'd rather have them and not need them). Anyway, I told her to pray that I get to wear them soon and she said "Try to relax". WTF? Because I'm so stressed out that's why I keep having miscarriages? I'm not sure she knows about the second one because I never told her, but even so, that's a pretty stupid thing to say to someone who is trying to get pregnant. Gah! People are dumb.

[Lizzy]

Hi everyone... sorry to hear that the holiday was difficult. Mine was not too bad. My husband's aunt/uncle did ask me twice when we would be starting a family. I replied with an ambiguous "hopefully soon". Their questions didn't bother me much, I realized that they have good intentions. I think that just about everyone else in the family knew about the m/c.

I started bleeding over the weekend - I guess this is my period, though it is only three weeks since the miscarriage began. I only had 10 days of not bleeding. But the bleeding now seems much like a period, just a lighter one.

[firefly]

Ladies, I hope that the rest of the Holidays will be gentle on you..
Alicia, have you gone back in for another hcg draw?

[ahavnes]

firefly-Funny you should ask, I am leaving in about 10 minutes to have it done. I will be in Las Vegas for the rest of the week (for work, not fun :mad:), but I will try to sneak on to update. Thanks for remembering!

[firefly]

ALicia, hope you manage to sneak in a little fun while in Vegas. my hubby just went on business and got to see some star wars thingy. (yea not my thing but he loves the sci fi stuff) and my sil said that "the producers" is in vegas for a limited time.

[ThreeYell]

MLA, hope things go well today.

I was doing so well this cycle, trying to stay positive or at least not obsessive-compulsive and miserable. I'm about 6 DPO and not even tempted to start testing in the next few days. Real progress for me. Then I talked to my acupuncturist today and she said not to expect to see results in her treatment for 3 cycles. This is only the first cycle. That sent me into a tailspin. I am so sick of trying and failing. I'm getting more and more scared that we're going to have to get an RE involved. How is that possible? We've gotten pregnant twice so easily. What on earth is going on now?

Of course the fact that my due date is on Thursday is probably responsible for my mood. I keep replaying the days leading up to DS's birth. I never in a million years thought that I would be where I am this week.

[jesseybell]

*sigh* 3 more mommies in my DD's Mommy's group just got BFP. Our list of repeat offenders is so long but I am the only one who had to bow out of the RO list (well the only one who had made it known to the group). Little things like that that make it hard sometimes.

Today is my first day actually in the office. It's a big office so not a ton of people know and I know a couple of people who do know are being kind and not saying anything. That kind of makes it harder.

But on a good note I've lost 5 lbs in a week, so I can't complain there.

[cr8zyforaf]

MLA - good luck today.

ahavens - Good luck!! Have fun in Vegas.

Jessy - I am sorry. I am also the last in my mommy group to be a RO....one lady just annouced she is pregnant at our last get together - now I am the only one... Great news on the weight loss.

threeyell - I am sorry. I have also been thinking a lot of how it was when I first brought DD home and how I was robbed of that. It sucks, doesn't it?

I am just p*ssed..this whole thing with DH's leg is just unreal..he can't even get up to go to the bathroom...I am sick of being the care taker...sick and tired. He goes back in for surgery on Wednesday and we will be back to square one again...I am filled with sadness all the time.

[MLA]

cr8zy -- I'm so sorry about your DH. It's got to be so stressful for you guys.

jessey -- That first day back at work's not easy, is it? Thinking of you.

threeyell - I bet that your due date coming up is not helping w/the news from your acupuncturist. I'll be hoping that it doesn't take as long as she said it could.

me - The HSG is done. I'm not going to lie. It was really NOT fun. Not fun at all, and I hope never to have to do it again, but it's over, and I got through it. And it could have been way worse.

The doctor who did it said that everything looked normal, but my doctor will have to look at the films, as well. So, we'll see. . .

[miel]

cr8zy Wow, I'm really sorry. I thought about how hard it would be to do all this stuff without help. I hope things get better soon.

MLA I hope they figure out what it is and find an easy way to fix it. I'm going to get one soon, I hope.

Jessy For some reason this makes people very uncomfortable. I think they know it is very painful, though. I think people mistakenly think they hurt you by talking about it.

[jesseybell]

I was having a conference call with my client and my team. Someone who used to work at my client had a baby last week, so I was telling my team the news. Someone at the client was like ('Oh, I thought you were going to tell us you were expecting again'). A couple of people at the client know so they probably gave her the hairy-eyeball. I don't work directly with it and obviously she couldn't have known, but everyone on my team just looked at me (with sympathy). I really did want to leave the meeting and cry.

I find myself walking around majorly sucking in my stomach so there is absolutely not doubt in people's minds...especially since before I was gone I was starting to show, so I know some people were starting to wonder, so now I am making them either rethink their beliefs or wonder....Hmm, I was out for 2 weeks. I looked pregnant, now I don't. Not that they would say anything. miel - you are right. I would never say anything to someone I knew had had a m/c unless they said something first.

[hiphopgirl]

Ugh, the woman at work who is due in April just before my due date is now into maternity clothes. I knew it had to happen at some point. She's been really showing for awhile now, but now that she's in maternity clothes it is so much more obvious. I want to cry when I think about it.

Last week I was on the verge of tears when she was talking about her "big" u/s appointment and showing everyone the pictures. When I put her cube right outside of mine* I clearly wasn't thinking about all of the conversations I would be forced to over hear. With every new milestone she encounters I feel like it is ripping the scab off a wound and pouring salt on it. At this rate I wonder if it will ever heal.

Lord, grant me strength over these next 5 months. I think I'm going to need it.

* She reports to me and we just moved to a new building. As her manager I was in charge of placing all of my direct reports in the new space.

[jesseybell]

hiphopgirl - I am sorry you have to see that everyday. There is a woman here due in April, but thankfully I don't have to see her often. Another is due in January but only looks 4-5 months pregnant, but I hear her gushing and I just have to walk away. Her kids will be 21 months apart just like mine would have been. We did just have a boat load of deliveries in the last 6 weeks, so there aren't a ton of us to be "next on the list" - it just sucks because everyone is looking to me to be pregnant.

Another downside is my bbs are now back to their post-weaning deflated look. Yuck.

Really the only positive thing now is eating really healthy so my stomach doesn't stick out at all so no one can mistakenly think I am pregnant...plus it makes looking in the mirror easier.

[ThreeYell]

cr8zy, jesseybell, hiphopgirl, I'm sorry things are rough. The reminders at work, especially, must be so hard.

MLA, I'm glad the HSG is behind you.

My due date is tomorrow and of course, it's coinciding with the worst part of the 2WW. I'm determined not to test. I'm to the point where I think that AF will hurt less than yet another BFN. We covered our bases well this month but I'm not at all optimistic. Even my acupuncturist doesn't think that I've got much of a shot for another 2 cycles until we get the imbalance in my liver meridian (don't ask, I have NO idea what that means) under control. I feel like my entire life is on hold until I get pregnant again. :(

[MLA]

hiphop -- I'm sorry you're dealing with that. It must be really tough. I don't know how I'd deal with it.

jessey - Man, people just don't know that their words, however innocent, can really hurt.

threeyell - Hugs to you. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

me -- Well, I'm annoyed right now. My RE is still waiting on my chromosomal testing results. So all the results except those are in. They expect to have them in the next week and a half, or so. This means that my followup app't is on December 10 -- CD 24. So no ttc-ing this cycle, which means that 2007 is a bust in terms of that. I was looking back at my goals for the year, and getting pregnant was one of them. Now I just have to hope that 2008 will be better. Sigh.

[Eric's Wife]

cr8zy, jessey, hiphop sorry things are going tough for you right now.

I've noticed since the m/c that I have had more severe physical pms symptoms. I have been getting backaches and sore BBs each month. I am convinced this is god's cruel joke to give me false pg symptoms each month! LOL Has anyone else experienced a change in their PMS symptoms?

[jen]

Eric's Wife, funny you should bring that up.... I have noticed my bb's are now very sore just before aunt flo arrives. Thankfully we haven't been TTC since July because of all the testing we've had, so I haven't had to work myself up into a tizzy thinking I'm PG! January will be a different story! :rolleyes:

[jenahdawn]

MLA....September is a great month....Sept 2nd.....I'd even be THRILLED if you happened...you know...and Sept 27th... :)

[stacy654]

Stacy654
Me: Stacy - 29
DH: Brian - 29
Married since: June 2004
M/C: D&C on November 26 would have been almost 10 weeks pregnant.

I don't wish this on anyone, but thank you all for sharing your experiences.

[MLA]

jenah -- Thanks. I'm hoping for September. It IS a good month!

Stacy -- I'm so sorry you're here. I was supposed to be a June Mommy, too (and an April Mommy, actually). You'll find a lot of support here.

[Annette]

Stacy-I'm sorry you had to join us.

MLA-That sux you have to wait another month. Believe me I know the feeling.

threeyell-I'll be thinking of you as well. Due dates are tough.

cr8zy-I hope your DH heals up quickly. I can't imagine the stress you are under right now.

hiphop & jesseybell-Sorry about the work reminders.

me: I'm excited that we are finally TTC again, but scared about having another miscarriage. I do feel that now that I am past my due date, I have been able to move on.

Sending {{{hugs}}} to everyone here.

[Eric's Wife]

Stacy: Sorry you have to join us. I'm really down tonight. Not sure if it's PMS or just the holidays and the emotions from the m/c catching up with me. Ever since thanksgiving I have been down and not interested in getting ready for the holidays. My DH has been setting up the xmas tree and i just don't have any interest in it. It hit me tonight why. I had so many hopes about the pregnancy and was excited about being pg around the holidays. It seems like the longer it's taking me to get pg again the more down I'm getting. My DH is trying to understand what I'm feeling but I don't have anyone IRL who has been through this to understand what I'm feeling. DH's words tonight really hurt: He basically told me that I shouldn't be upset since I wasn't pg for long and that IT SHOULDN'T COUNT!!! That put me over the top with my emotions. Thanks for lettting me vent.

[miel]

Eric's wife Oh, I am so very sorry. So very, very sorry.

I don't know why your DH said that but here is one thing I think was going on with my DH: It wasn't really 'real' to him. He wanted not to be sad. I do think sometimes that is a strategy people use to deal with loss. Maybe your DH is thinking the same thing--just move on, don't be sad? It sounds like he is saying it doesn't matter but really it is just a way to keep it from mattering because people are scared of the sadness.

People just do not understand, I've found.

I think a lot of my issues are caused by the hormones. I believe this because I've had these issues before with a pregnancy. So do take care of yourself and consider seeing a doctor if it gets really hard because it is not easy on the body or the mind to go through this.

((((Hugs)))))

[Eric's Wife]

Eric's wife Oh, I am so very sorry. So very, very sorry.

I don't know why your DH said that but here is one thing I think was going on with my DH: It wasn't really 'real' to him. He wanted not to be sad. I do think sometimes that is a strategy people use to deal with loss. Maybe your DH is thinking the same thing--just move on, don't be sad? It sounds like he is saying it doesn't matter but really it is just a way to keep it from mattering because people are scared of the sadness.

((((Hugs)))))
I spoke with DH after I typed this and you were right. He apologized to me for saying that. From what he said I don't think it was real to him too. Thanks for your thoughts.

[jesseybell]

Stacy - I am so sorry that you have to join our grou

Eric's Wife - I am glad that you got things straightened out with DH. Is is hard for them to get it when they can't see it or feel the symptoms. With both pregnancies DH didn't believe it until he saw them at 14 and 12 weeks respectively.

[hiphopgirl]

Stacy - I'm so sorry that you have to join us. I hope you can get some comfort from everyone here.

Eric's Wife - I'm so sorry that your DH said that to you, but I'm glad you were able to talk about it with him. I think our hubby's need us to tell them how they should be acting.

Annette - I will be keeping all crossables crossed as you go through the TTC journey again.

I have a confession to make. Even though I said I wasn't going to actively TTC until January I broke down and used OPK's to determine the best time and then we sort of covered our bases. I did it all on the down-low (i.e. my DH doesn't know I was using OPK's. He just thought I was particularly frisky last week.) I keep telling myself that I wasn't "really" trying because I wasn't temping/charting; I was just not avoiding (yea right).

Here's the thing. I'm at ~ 6 DPO and I have heartburn. The last two times I've had heart burn were my last two pregnancies (both times it started at about 6-7 DPO). I keep telling myself that it is psychosomatic and that I am probably NOT pregnant. Then I tell myself all the reasons why it would be good if it turns out that I am not pregnant. This is a little game I'm playing with myself so that I won't be disappointed when (notice how I didn't say if) AF comes next week.

I think I'm officially cracking up. I think I might be just a short-bus ride away from crazy town.

okay, but seriously... I have some Progesterone left over from my last pregnancy. Should I start taking it just in case? I'm putting this in really small font so as not to jinx anything.

[ThreeYell]

Stacy, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Annette, best of luck TTC again! It's good to hear that things got better after your due date. Thanks for giving me hope.

Eric's Wife, I'm sorry you're down right now and that your DH isn't helping. That's why I thank God for this thread. No one really understands except women who have been there themselves. I hope you catch some Christmas spirit soon.

hiphopgirl, Can I sit next to you on the bus to crazy town? I'm 9/10 DPO and spending all my energy assuming I'm not pregnant, because I haven't been all the other times. Funny you should mention heartburn because I've had some the past few days too. I'll have my fingers very quietly crossed for you.

[cr8zyforaf]

Stacy - I am sorry for your loss.

MLA - I am sorry. I know exactly how you feel - I wanted to be pregnant by the end of the year and given DH's physical condition..not happening...I haven't even called the RE back..what is the point?

Eric'swife- I am so sorry. My DH is the same- he wants to understand and he just can't. We had this big discussion this past weekend and he feels I should just 'move on' and accept that it happened for a reason. They just don't get it. Even my friends who have never suffered through this say things like 'this happened for a reason - can you imagine being pregnant now and dealing with all of this:?' ummm, yeah, I could.

hiphop and threeyell - I have my fingers and toes crossed for you both.

Me...Dh's surgery was yesterday - 7 hours. He is in a lot of pain and miserable. To make matters worse, his brothers wife went into labor this morning - she is probably pushing as I type - she is 6 weeks early. And, my mom friend who told us she was pregnant - she is loosing the baby I think...and now I feel like an asshat for being jealous that she was pregnant.

[jesseybell]

hiphop and threeyell - Oh the agony of the 2WW! Crossing my fingers for you.

cr8zyforaf - I am so sorry you are having to deal with so much at one time, with DH and SIL. And your poor friend.


Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment. The good news is that the bleeding appears to have stopped after 11 days. Thank goodness.

Once we have the go-ahead to have sex tomorrow, we are entering a whole new world for us. We've never just 'seen what happened'. For both pregnancies once I went off the pill, I charted but we avoided until we were ready and I was blessed with getting pg right away (I do have a history of endometriosis so there was that pressure to get pregnant fast so the endo didn't have time to come back) and after DD I went on the pill at 6 weeks, so no SWH. It's going to be weird. No charting for me for a few months (I say that now - I have been addicted to my fertility monitor in the past, but I dont want to drag it out yet).

[akacharlotte]

I have not posted here in awhile. We are still TTC without success. At my DH's request I stopped charting this past cycle. He thought the stress of trying to BD on command was getting to us and it was. I was so confident November would be our month.

Overall I'm doing well. The sadness hits me on occasion though...like Thanksgiving. DH's two cousins both have new babies. Well 5 months and 2 months. It was so hard seeing the babies. Normally I'll would be be cooing, playing, and holding the babies but I just avoided them as much as possible. Not to mention hearing MIL and FIL talk about their future grandchildren really upset me. I know they want grandchildren and DH and I want to give them grandchildren but being reminded of it by others so frequently makes me want to scream.

I do have an appointment with a new OB/GYN on the 18th of December to talk things out and see what if anything we can test for problems.

I'm hoping 2008 is a very good year.

[GlamaGal]

Well, I had migrated from this thread in the hopes to not jinx myself. However, we just found out at 18 w our baby has anencephaly. I will be having a D&E in the near future. This is the only place I could think of where I could truly leave my emotions. Has anyone had a D&E? Apparently I will be asleep. My only concern is being a mom to my daughter. I'm afraid of amnesia (not waking up), but I cannot give birth to this baby because that trauma- I don't think I could function afterwards.

I guess the treatment afterwards is high folic acid (10x normal) when we decide o TTC. I'm pretty numb.

[cr8zyforaf]

akacharlotte - I am so sorry. Can DH talk to his parents and just tell them to drop the whole grandchild line for awhile? I am also ready for this year to end...maybe 2008 will be better for all of us.

glamagal - I am so sorry. I will be thinking of you.

[jesseybell]

GlamaGal - From one May 08 mommy to another my heart absolutely breaks for you. I am so incredibly sorry you are having to go through this.

I had a D&E (versus a D&C) - the difference is the tools used for the extraction. I was asleep, though they said it is a light anesthesia so you wake up much quicker. I completely understand wanting to go the D&E route versus induction.

Again, I am so, so sorry.

[MLA]

GlamaGal - I'm so very, very sorry. It's not fair that you're dealing with this again. :( Hugs to you. You're in my thoughts.


HipHopGirl - I say you should start taking your progesterone now. You have it, and you may, in fact, be pregnant, so why not? And by the way, I'm crossing everything possible for you!

akacharlotte - I'm sorry your IL's are pressuring you.

cr8zy - If I were you, I'd contact the RE, anyway. It's surprising how long the testing can take. I'm sorry about your DH's surgery -- and about your friend who may be losing her baby. You're not an asshat for having been jealous, though.

ThreeYell - I have my fingers crossed for you!

JesseyBell - I think DH and I will just SWH once January comes, too. Or at least that's what I'm telling myself. Who knows once we're back on the wagon if I'll be able to keep from obsessing?

[akacharlotte]

glamagal-I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH.

cr8zyforaf-Thank you. I spoke to DH about it and he said he will talk to them whenever I feel like it is getting to be too much. It only bothers me when I'm feeling down about the m/c and not being PG/having a baby.

MLA-Thank you. They are really good about it most of the time and I only get upset about their comments when I'm feeling down. Strange enough FIL is worse about it than MIL. He points out every cute baby etc. I don't think MIL even realized I heard her say anything. She was talking to someone else. I'm ok with letting it go for now and I know DH has my back if it gets out of control for me. Right now I wish I had not been so vocal about our TTC plans with them.

[MLA]

akacharlotte - Can you refresh my memory -- do your ILs know about your m/c?

[ThreeYell]

akacharlotte, I'm so sorry about the bad luck TTC. In some ways, I think it's almost worse than the loss, or at least more frustrating.

glamagal, Oh, I'm so so sorry. I can't even imagine. Did they give you the option of inducing first then doing a D&E if necessary? That's what I did. At first I wanted to go straight to the D&E because I didn't think I could handle delivering but after talking to my doctor and my good friend who is also an OB, we decided to induce with serious, serious drugs to make sure I was as out of it as possible. I got a constant mix of valium and demerol and, though I remember delivering I was so drugged that I didn't have any sense of panic or anything. The doctor and nurses kept telling me that the induction would work well because I have had a previous vaginal birth and they were right. I had kind of a D&C for the end and they put me out but it was with fast acting anesthesia and I was awake and coherent immediately after, though I don't remember about the first half hour after.

I totally get it if you don't want to try the induction, though. It's such a personal decision. I just wanted to tell you that it wasn't that bad for me. I hope that's OK.

I'll be thinking of you.

[Eric's Wife]

Glamagal I'm so sorry for your loss.

[GlamaGal]

ThreeYell- Thanks for sharing. I haven't scheduled anything yet. The dr. I spoke with wasn't mine, but he said that at my dr.'s practice her partner did these types of things. I particularly like her b/c she was there for the first part of DDs delivery. I guess I am just not strong enough to go through the induction. After hearing your story, I guess I'll consider it, but the dr. today said I may have to have a d&c/d&e after induction anyhow.

update- my ob office called and I am going down there today to discuss the procedure/give consent. Then on Monday I'll go in for the softener and Tuesday I'll get the procedure. I'm full of questions but I'm glad to be getting this going. I want two more kids and on this track I'm not getting anywhere fast.

[ThreeYell]

Would you go into the hospital Monday night and stay until the procedure? If you're not adverse to it, ask about drugs to keep you out of it. They should give you anything you want. When I was trying to decide I talked a lot with my college roommate who is now and OB and asked her what she would do. She said that she'd go in overnight for the cytotec (or cervadil or whatever they're using) and "snow herself" with drugs so she would be out of it. In the morning, she'd have the D&E if she hadn't delivered overnight. That's the plan I followed. I just ended up delivering about 8 hours after they started the cytotec. But again, she said there was no problem with going straight to a D&E. It's all personal preference.

Please PM me if you have any questions or need anything.

[hiphopgirl]

GlamaGal - My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.

akacharlotte - I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time of it. I can only imagine how frustrating it can be. Hopefully your ILs can chill on the grandchild talk for a bit.

[akacharlotte]

akacharlotte - Can you refresh my memory -- do your ILs know about your m/c?

Yes, they do. It happened less than a week after we told them. :(

threeyell-Thanks. I don't know what is worse...losing a baby or getting AF every cycle. :confused: Seeing my failure every month is most definitely frustrating.

hiphopgirl-Thank you. :)

[Annette]

glamagal-I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You'll be in my thoughts. {{{hugs}}}

aka-Sorry you are having trouble with TTC. I hope your new OB has some ideas for you.

jessey-good luck with SWH.

cr8zy-Hope your DH has a speedy recovery.

[Lizzy]

Stacy - I am sorry for your loss. I was supposed to be a June mommy too. :(

glamagal - I am sorry for your loss. I hope you get the answers you need from your OB.


I just recently finished Coming to Term by Jon Cohen. It's all about "uncovering the truth about miscarriage" and I found it fascinating. Cohen wrote this book after his wife had four miscarriages. It's interesting to learn what we know about why miscarriage takes place, but also disheartening to find out how little really is known.

[GlamaGal]

ThreeYell- They are doing the laminaria placement on Monday. I guess it has seaweed in it to soak up stuff and will dilate me. Then I come home and I guess I'll cramp. I think I'll ask for pain meds. I bet they'll tell me to take 4 Tylenol or something ridiculous. My luck I'll end up in the ER that night. Anyhow, I guess Monday they'll tell me when to go to the hospital for Tuesday's procedure (I assume it's 1st thing in the a.m.) and I'll recover there for a few hours and go home. All sounds so chilling, eh? After this and the follow-up checkup, we're interviewing new OBs. I'm not satisfied with their bedside manner. Too clinical for me. I'm a sensitive gal. Thank you for speaking with me about this. I have no one to speak with who's been through anything near this. I guess that's good for my friends.

[jenahdawn]

GlamaGal,

Ugh, I agree. It sounds so clinical. It's a BABY, not a PROCEDURE!

I wouldn't necessarily do your f/u with that OB if you don't feel comfortable. Or, if you still do, find your new one soon and do a "This is what has been going on" appt with the new one.

I'm so sorry you are going through this!

[miel]

Sorry to be annoying about my ongoing saga...but it went like this

1. Abnormally rising hcg levels. Told: Pregnancy is not viable. No way, no how.
2. Kept rising. Told: Could be ectopic. Come in for ultrasound
3. Came in for ultrasound. No fetal sac, no pole. Should be seven weeks. Measures 5. But now they won't tell me for sure if I am just waiting for a miscarriage or if something else is happening. I have to wait a week.

Has this happened to anyone else?

[Annette]

miel-This sort of happened to me with my 2nd pg. I had gotten a BFP, went in for bloodwork that day, follow up b/w 2 days later and the doctor wasn't thrilled with the #'s cause they weren't rising as they should be. He told me to wait a week and come in for another test. The day I came in for the test, I started m/cing that afternoon and my levels were already dropping. The waiting a week sucked cause I didn't know how to feel. I hated being in limbo like that. I was never that far along to have an u/s and my levels were only in the 100's.

Good luck to you. I really hope you get good news next week.

[miel]

Thanks Annette. I guess what I was wondering is: Is it possible to get good news? I just don't see how this could turn out to be a good pregnancy. HCG levels extremely low all the time, never doubled, not growing right. But maybe I don't know enough about pregnancy.

I'm sorry for your mc. Yes, this being in limbo is hard. I'd already accepted the situation. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but then I feel so guilty like I wrote the little thing off.

[MLA]

akacharlotte - Wow. I can't believe they're saying anything when they know about the m/c. That's just not right. :(
Lizzy - I think I'll check that book out. I've not heard of it.
GlamaGal - If I were you, I'd definitely look for a new doctor. The office I was using during my first m/c was not supportive at all, so I found a new doctor. I felt much better about my experience w/the 2nd office.
miel - I don't have any answers for you, but I want you to know that you're in my thoughts.

[hiphopgirl]

Miel - Your story is exactly like my second m/c. Feel free to PM me and I will give you the whole long saga (or just read way back in this thread because I think I posted about the whole thing). I went in at 6 1/2 weeks, they saw a yolk sac, but no fetal pole. The doc didn't want to make a call without numbers so I got two blood draws. The numbers were such that they should have seen a baby. They weren't doubling, but that in and of itself was not the big deal. I held onto hope all the way until I was about 10 weeks along. I think you may have hope, and I don't want to be the person that dashes your hope. Like I said, PM me and I can hopefully talk through your particular situation in more detail (in other words, don't look at my story as proof that this pg is not viable)

GlamaGal - I agree with everyone else. Get a new doctor - stat. You deserve to be treated with kindness and compassion. Ask around for recommendations.

[stacy654]

glamagal - I am so sorry you are going through this... I am not sure how different a D&C is vs. a D&E but I just had a D&C this past Monday. I was completely out of it, and woke up fairly quickly. Afterwards they gave me a shot of moriphine (sp?) and a pain pill before leaving the hospital. I don't remember anything from the procedure, other than having to jump up on the operating table because it was so high.

I would definitely suggest a new dr. to anyone who doesn't agree with how their dr. is treating them. Mine has been wonderful and I can't imagine going through this without her support.

[Lolly]

Stacy, I am so sorry for your loss.

GlamaGal, I am sorry to hear the news :( I agree with finding a new OB soon after next week.

miel, limbo does suck. I think they just want to wait another week, just in case any dates were off. And if you were only measuring 5 weeks, I think they want to check again to see if you've grown and if anything else shows up in the sonogram. With my mc I went in at 8 weeks and was only measuring 5, then I went back 3 days later, then 5 days after that just to keep checking.

akacharlotte , that really is insensitive of your IL's. Especially since they know. I wonder if they even realize what they're saying and how it affects you. I would want DH to talk to them about it now.

hiphopgirl and ThreeYell, crossing my fingers for you both too!

[cr8zyforaf]

meil - I am sorry. With DD, I was also measuring behind (however my HSG levels were good) and they had me come back in a week and everything was fine. With my miscarriage..same situation but I was with the ob and the the RE so no HSG levels - measuring small come back in a week. So, they probably aren't telling you anything because it could go either way.

akacharlotte - that is extremely insensitive of you inlaws - I was under the impression that they didn't know. I am so sorry - I would have DH say something to them.

hiphop and threeyell - my fingers and toes are crossed.

glamgal - find a new doctor. I wouldn't even wait - I would find someone new to help you with what you are currently going through. I am so so sorry.

Stacy - glad to hear you have the procedure behind you.

Me, nothing new. Went to see my new nephew in the nicu...they are worried about his lungs - so he is covered in tubes and monitors. Really heartbreaking.

[jesseybell]

glamagal - I am sorry about your OB -I definitely would find another one after this

miel - I am sorry that you are in limbo. Waiting around is heart-wrenching.


I had my D&E follow-up this morning. It went well. Thankfully they took me into the room right away so I didn't have to sit in the waiting area with the pregnant people.

They were not able to detect the issue with the initial tissue tests they did. I guess there is another one they can try. But ultimately it doesn't matter if we know or not.

He said waiting until spring is okay (even though I'll be 37 3/4 by then) - A matter of months wouldn't make an difference. I don't want to wait too long because if something were to happen again I would want to turn around and try again right away before the end of the year. He said that AF should come back in 4-8 weeks but he wouldn't worry until 6 months :eek:

He said next time around I can elect to come in at 8 weeks for an u/s if I want - That is their standard line for people who have m/c - We'll take them up on it but it's not like it will put me at ease since we saw the heartbeat up to 12w2d.

I teared up some on the drive there, but I was completely fine seeing 2 women who were 8-9 months pregnant. What got me as I was leaving the building a woman walked through who looked to be 4-5 months pregnant.

But I feel better now that I am home.

[ThreeYell]

GlamaGal, did they say how much you would dilate at home? Can they assure you that you won't deliver at home? I had cytotec which is maybe stronger than what they're giving you but things moved very quickly for me, quicker than they thought they would. I wasn't as far along as you are so maybe that's the difference. Still, I don't think it's worth any risk that you'll deliver at home, or even in the ER. You should be in L&D surrounded by nurses who know how to handle everything. If you do wait at home, demand strong pain drugs and something like Valium for your mental state. Cramps, my ass (sorry, I'm getting really mad at your doctors). It's contractions. That's how the cervix dilates. If you don't want to feel anything, and I didn't because I didn't want it to remind me of DS's birth at all, you shouldn't have to.

miel, I don't have any experience with your situation but it sounds incredibly frustrating.

I wasn't as emotional yesterday for my due date as I feared I would be but, oh man, the universe had a cruel trick up its sleeve for us. Our cat died. She had been living with MIL for the past year. When we moved long distance it was a crazy time, temporary housing, etc. that we thought would stress her out too much. So she went to stay with MIL who is the world's best animal mom. MIL and our kitty ended up falling in love with each other and considering that kitty was getting up there in years, everyone decided it would be best for her to stay with MIL. Yesterday afternoon MIL found her disoriented and unable to move and the emergency vet diagnosed kidney failure. They put her to sleep late last night. MIL is a wreck, in large part because she feels guilty for Brady dying on my due date, as if she had anything to do with it. DH was a wreck. I was strangely calm. I think I can't process it right now.

[cr8zyforaf]

threeyell - I am so sorry about the loss of your kitty. I lost my dog to cancer back in August...it was horrible. I will be thinking of you.

[firefly]

Miel. That sounds very similar to what happened to me.

It started Dec 1 last year.
my hcg was doubling normally from Dec 5- Dec 7 they went from 17-33
By Dec 14 the numbers were not doubling normally (i had a very bad feeling about the pg at this point) they were 85

Dec 16 started spotting

US Dec 19
tech had to bring in her superior. found a 'viable' pregnancy and another mass I had a corpus leutem(Sp) of pregnancy was bleeding throughout the TV u/s told to proceed as if this is a 'healthy pregnancy'

Dec 21 bleeding had stopped I was told it may just be a bleeding corpus leutem my hcg have done this so far. 17 35 88 14 72

Dec 28 HPT is the darkest I've gotten during this pgcy
Dec 29 they suspect a right tubal pregnancy

Dec 29 Beta's are now 115
Jan 3 hcg levels are 224 u/s scheduled stat results:I have a globlular right ovary

I have a mass near my right ovary that is nothing... just a mass... clear, no blood flow, but a bit of calcification..

my left ovary is really high, no really really high,


January 9th my hcg levels begin to drop (I don't know the hcg level)

January 11th tod it was most likely molar and I'd have a d&c soon

January 26t told it was definatly molar
January 27th hcg levels drop to 17

January 30th told it most likely is NOT a molar pregnancy

February 5th HCG levels 1 proceed as if this was a 'normal' m/c
told I could resume ttc in 3 cycles.

[GlamaGal]

ThreeYell- you are asking things that I am already fearing. I'm going to clear all of this up on Monday. My DH can go in with me to ask/hear as well. I'll address all of this. I know, labor is an emotional thing, and this isn't something where the pain will be worth it. Thank God my mom can be here thru Tues. I'm so sorry about your cat. I have 3: 2 indoor and 1 outdoor stray that I feed every few days and sleeps in a blanket on our covered porch furniture. I also had a cat die of liver cancer when I was single and she was my "baby".

Jesseybell- I too had to witness pg women at the ob office. I'm more wanting people not to ask about my bump b/c what do I say?? eh I did see others today at the store and had to stop my tears by gulping them down my throat. So you were intubated for the d&c? Sorry...as a side story they had me for the D&E until he said I'd be intubated (when my aunt died unexpectedly 3 years ago, we viewed her body and the tube was still in her. Bad image.) I just need to get over it. I've never had surgery before so I'm scared. I know how you feel about the extra u/s for your next pg. For me, it will really mean nothing, because they often can't spot the anencephaly (esp. if they're not complete) until the baby is larger. So I will have little to no comfort as well.

[MLA]

Oh, ThreeYell, I'm so sorry. :(

[jesseybell]

GlamaGal - I am so sorry you lost an aunt unexpectedly. I can completely understand why you would be scared. I had had four surgerical procedures before, 3 of which I was intubated and it took me all day to come out of the anesthesia. That's what I was dreading until my OB said I wouldn't be completely out, which made me freak out for 4 days prior to my D&E. The anesthesiologist was pissed he made me worry. I was completely out but I was not intubated and the anesthesia they used dissipates out of your system very quickly so I was drinking and eating within 1/2 an hour and left an hour later. But my D&E was very different in the fact that they could dilate me as much as they needed to while I was under. I am glad your DH will be able to come with you to the consultation on Monday to ask all the questions.

[Taylandra]

I haven't been by in awhile-I thought I should come by and offer *hugs* to anyone who needed them.

Jesseybell- I'm glad that everything went okay....I hope that you continue to feel better.

AKA- Ugh...I'm sorry that you had to hear some of those things during Thanksgiving. *hugs*

GlamaGal- I'm so sorry that you are joining us and going through all of this heartache. :(

Miel- I hope your limbo ends soon.

ThreeYell- I'm so, so sorry to hear about your cat.

I know I didn't get everyone, but I am keeping you all in my thoughts!

[kdotp]

I'm sorry for everyone who has to join this thread, but so glad it's here to provide support and comfort.

miel my second m/c was somewhat similar. 4/22/05: Started spotting brown around 7w, went in for betas that were rising, but not enough. After two draws, the Dr. sent me to get an u/s which showed "products of conception" but not viable. Spotted intermittently from then until 5/1/05 where I finally saw red spotting. Light flow from then until 5/7/05 where it suddenly got very heavy and I had to go to the ER because my body was trying to labor through the m/c. In all, it took about 4 weeks from the beginning of the spotting until the end of the m/c. That sucked and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

It appears after 2.5 years and DS, I'm back. I just had a chem pg on cycle 3 of TTC #2. Had 3 BFPs on FRERs but AF started right on time, though definitely heavier than normal. It's just so frustrating and disheartening. I feel as if I'm always on tenterhooks each cycle and don't know which I fear more: getting AF or getting a BFP.

[ahavnes]

I've been out of town for work, so I am way far behind. Just wanted to give you all a quick update that my last monthly blood draw came back at "less than one." This is considered negative. Only 4 more months of draws to go (hopefully!).

Stacy- I am so sorry for your loss.

GlamaGal-My heart is breaking for you. I am just so sorry.

[stacy654]

Sending hugs to you girls who need them...

Trying to work a bit from home today. I have been out of the house now 2 days in a row. Must be some sort of a record...

[hiphopgirl]

GlamaGal - My heart is breaking for you. I am so glad that your mom can be there for you. I just hope that your stomach will flatten pretty quickly so you don't have to deal with any comments or questions.

ThreeYell - I am so sorry about your cat. I had to put my cat to sleep when I was about 20 weeks pregnant with DS. I was so heartbroken I had to take the day off of work.

Stacy - HUGS.

[Lolly]

ThreeYell , I am so sorry about the loss of your cat. I lost my dog, 5 days after my D&C this summer. He died suddenly from cancer (but he never even showed that he was in pain). I evened questioned myself because I was way more upset over loosing my dog than the pregnancy. My dog was almost 9 years old. I still cry about missing him.

kdotp, I'm so sorry you found your way back here. {{{hugs}}}

[cr8zyforaf]

kdotp - I am so so sorry. I am thinking of you.

[MLA]

kdotp, I'm sorry you're back. I so understand this feeling:


don't know which I fear more: getting AF or getting a BFP.

It sucks, and it's not fair. :(

[GlamaGal]

Well the laminaria placement SUCKED. I think I have a sensitive cervix, but still. They grab hold of it while they place these small, ~4 in. long seaweed sticks in there to slowly soak up fluid and while they do that they dilate the cervix up until tomorrow morning. UCK. Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning and I can talk about the anesthesia options with the anesthetist. The way the OB has explained it is: I can have a spinal +drugs to make me really groggy or the general anesthesia. Both have the same recovery time. I know after tomorrow I will be focused once again on what is actually happening- which is the loss of my unborn daughter.

[GlamaGal]

kdotp, I truly, truly know what you mean by AF v. BFP. Both are very scary to me!! I'm sorry for your loss. For me, AF means there's hope for next month. BFP means something could be wrong with the pg again and that I will be in a constant state of anxiety until all tests and ultrasounds come back normal. I think I fear the BFP more. Isn't that very sad?

[jenahdawn]

GlamaGal, I can't stop thinking about you.

Remember, you have my email.

[Annette]

glamagal-Thinking about you.

[cr8zyforaf]

glamagal - I am thinking about you.

[Lolly]

Glama, you're in my thoughts today.

[jesseybell]

GlamaGal - I am thinking about you today. {HUGS}

[hiphopgirl]

GlamaGal - I'm thinking of you today. Sending big hugs.

kdotp - I am so,so sorry. Somehow I missed your post, but I do know what you mean. I cried the last time I got a BFP.

[Eric's Wife]

Glamagal: You are in my thoughts today.

[Mrs.Chappy]

Glama, i'm thinking of you.

[MLA]

glamagal -- Another cc-er who's thinking of you today.

[akacharlotte]

glamagal- My thoughts are with you.

[hiphopgirl]

I just got a call from my doctor. It turns out that I tested positive for MTHFR. I don't remember a lot of the details of what she said. All I know is that she is recommending that I take one baby aspirin and double the intake of folic acid on a daily basis. I'm sort of relieved to have a plan in place, but she said it isn't necessarily the reason for my two losses. I guess my homocystine (sp?) levels aren't abnormal so she doesn't think the MTHFR is a factor, but we are treating it like it was.

I think that if I am pregnant then I do want to go ahead and do blood tests right away so we can find out what my progesterone and homocystine levels are and treat accordingly.

Like I said, I'm just glad to have a plan in place. Then I guess it is up to God where we go from there :)

[GlamaGal]

Everyone, thanks so much for your support. The surgery was delayed today b/c of a tie-up in my OR room, but I made it through and everything went well. Even the OB was very caring and calming for me. Now it's just the emotional trauma of losing my daughter. I got the footprints and she'll be cremated. I think I may have the footprints copied and made into something I could wear, like a charm for a necklace. They broke our hearts to see them, but, I like having a memory of her. The hospital chaplain was so sweet and special, she prayed with us before the surgery, and while I was in surgery she took my DH a memory box for the baby (which she said she was going to do) but she also gave him a soft teddy bear to give to me. After our prayer, she mentioned she had been where we were. I just thought that was so sweet of her and she knew what we needed most, just an extra touch from someone who cared.

[Taylandra]

GlamaGal- I was also thinking of you today...I'm so glad to hear that you had comforting hospital workers around you-the chaplain in particular sounds like she did a great job! I'll keep you in my prayers while you are healing emotionally now.

[Annette]

glamagal-I'm glad to hear everything went well and that the staff was comforting.

[ahavnes]

Glamagal-You have been in my thoughts today as well. Again, I am so sorry that you are going through this, but I am glad to hear the chaplain and OB were supportive and caring. Hugs to you!

[ThreeYell]

I'm glad today is over for you, GlamaGal. You're in my prayers.

[miel]

Oh, Glamagal. I'm so sorry.

[cr8zyforaf]

Glamgal - I am glad you have the procedure behind you - it sounds like you had a great support system. I am so sorry....and I will be thinking of you during this very difficult time.

[Lolly]

GlamaGal, I'm glad the procedure is behind you. I think its wonderful that you were able to get her footprints; that's a very special momento. I think a charm for a necklace, or maybe even a bracelet is a very nice idea. And I'm glad that the hospital had a wonderful chaplain to help provide some comfort during this time. My prayers continue to be with you and your family.

hiphopgirl, I don't know what MTHFR is (I'll go look it up). Hoping the recommendations provided are just what's needed.

[hiphopgirl]

GlamaGal - I am glad that the procedure went well and that you got her footprints. It sounds like the chaplain was a special gift that day. I'm glad she was able to provide you the right kind of comfort. You and your husband are in my prayers. Are you going to do a memorial for your daughter?

[MLA]

GlamaGal - I'm glad that you're done with the procedure and that you had such supportive people around you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

[Alanna]

Glamagal - I am thinking about you and sending you ((hugs)).

[GlamaGal]

Thanks, everyone.

Hiphop- I think a memorial is too much for my husband. I think we'll get her ashes, and I'll have a special place for them, and he will learn to appreciate it. I'm also more private about this. I'm hibernating until I can face the world again.

He wondered why I'd want the footprints made into something as a constant reminder. I told him she'd always be with us, so what did it matter (if we had a physical reminder as well as an emotional one)? He said he thought it would be too hard on me. I told him if it was a "negative" reminder then I wouldn't have suggested it. Last night he hardly slept, so I think he's having a hard time of it. Either it's too close to his father's illness or he's realizing that we did indeed have a little baby girl growing inside me. I don't know. I have to believe strongly in my faith that one day in heaven, we'll be reunited as a family, and our daughter will be made whole. And during the prayer the chaplain said to "remember the love that made her" and that "she was a gift from God that we had to give back". Today I'm trying to focus on the loving husband that I have, the beautiful daughter that we share, and the wonderful relationship that can withstand this and be gifted with more children.

And today on Oprah she's recognizing Mitch Albom's "One More Day" and the late author Richard Carlson "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff". It's a tear-jerker...

[Annette]

Just bumping to see how everyone is....

[miel]

I'm getting my ultrasound today to see where things are at. As I mentioned, I was told many times that there is no way this pregnancy is a go but then since there is something growing I have to monitor it. I suspect it is a blighted ovum. But it gets very confusing because I simply do not know enough about these issues and the doctor was unavailable to speak with me when I had my last ultrasound. I'll probably have to wait this one out a bit.