Spin off....Pet Peeves when you are a guest

[colz85]

Spun off from the "what do guests do" thread.....


When you go to someone's house, what are some things hosts can do that make you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome?

[AHammer]

not having the essentials in the bathroom. TP, towels, hand soap, etc.

[Baxter78]

Not taking the time to show you where the essentials are (towels, sheets, glasses/cups, etc.)

[Standrea]

An "awkward" atmosphere. Like, when there is little to no conversation.

[shopaholic]

Not having anything to drink. If you are having people over at least buy a 2 lit. of something.

[salysaturn]

When they sit and yack on the phone...or watch TV.

[eli1126]

ITA about the bathroom essentials: toilet paper, soap, hand towels, a plunger, some fragrance spray.

Taking your shoes off-It's one thing when it's raining or snowing, but having to walk around dirty floors in my socks skeeves me out.

[colz85]

Not having anything to drink. If you are having people over at least buy a 2 lit. of something.

Yeah. I just come from a family where the second you walk in it's "can I get you something....Diet Coke, water, juice?" So to me, that's how you welcome someone.

[KK812]

When there are other guests there that you don't know and the host(ess) doesn't introduce you(obviously this applies to small gatherings, not large parties).

[rubyredslippers]

My XMIL was always shoving food at me and the kids, and her feelings would be hurt if we turned it down.

She would also turn the thermostat up to the melting-point-of-iron position whenever someone went to take a shower. I used to close the bathroom vent and pile towels on it just so I wouldn't melt.

[Adaya]

Assuming that I just love your pet and I want them to jump on me, lick me, kiss me or be "on" me in any way. I don't dislike cats and dogs, but I'm not a huge fan either.

I have a number of examples, but here's one that annoyed me the most. A coworker had a baby shower for another coworker at her home and she had 4 cats. Okay, no problem. Think again. The cats were quite friendly. No problem. But as the guests were sitting on the sofas and chairs, eating and mingling, they'd jump up on up on the arm rests or the backs and hang out. Or they'd try to jump in our laps, which I found odd since I hear cats need time to warm up to guests. This happened throughout the whole shower and some people were visibly uncomfortable. I was one of those people, so I just left early. Along with sneezing and watery eyes, I just didn't like them jumping up on me and walking behind me on the back of the sofa. Not my kinda party.

[CarolinaGirl]

This applies if I'm an overnight guest:

Dirty sheets on the bed - If you're going to invite me to stay at your house, then at least have clean sheets.

[artist]

Arguing with your spouse or scolding your kids in front of me.

[jajacobsen]

This applies if I'm an overnight guest:

Dirty sheets on the bed - If you're going to invite me to stay at your house, then at least have clean sheets.

Amen to that!

Honestly, poor bedding is one of my HUGE pet peeves. So many people give their guests a crap bed, crap sheets, crap pillow and crap towel. What gives?

Not everyone has two set sof really nice sheets, towels, pillows and blanket. I was always taught that you gave your guests the best that you had, been if it meant a short term sacrifice. So if you only have one set of nice stuff - your guest shoudl be using it!

But honestly, in reality, I'm just grateful if the sheets are clean. Why do peopel think this is optional?

[PG-rated]

A dirty/untidy bathroom. I don't want to see hair on the floor, or your tampon box on the counter, or anything of that nature.

[salysaturn]

hee hee...now that you mention the sheets thing, we just bought a new set just for that purpose. They aren't HIGH QUALITY, just your basic 250 ct white sheets. We really didn't have sheets for our spare bed (we used queen sheets on a full bed), but I thought it would be nice to have nice new clean sheets :)

[AHammer]

Oh I thought of another one.. giant dogs with no manners. I get pretty nervous around big dogs, and I have a friend with a big dog who jumps on guests for HOURS. Seriously hyper. I'm never comfortable when the dog is in the room, but she won't put her away. So I don't go over there anymore.

[lauren f s]

A dirty house. If you invite me over, pick up. I don't expect a spotless house (Lord knows mine always isn't!) but pick up the clutter, wipe down surfaces, and stick dishes in the dishwasher. Dirty kitchens really, really bug me.

A hot house. My MIL refuses to turn the a/c on - even now when it's 98 degrees every day. And she wonders why we won't come visit with the kids :rolleyes: Again, I don't expect you to make the house cold as I keep mine, but I really don't want to be sweating while I'm visiting.

And ITA with offering a drink! My grandma always offers a drink and snack and is seriously offended if you say no!

[udsweetpea]

Forcing their fat-laden meals down my throat or making me feel bad for not eating it.

Falling asleep.

Dogs who jump on me and makes Freddy Crugar marks on my legs and the owner doesn't say a thing.

[Adaya]

Oh I thought of another one.. giant dogs with no manners. I get pretty nervous around big dogs, and I have a friend with a big dog who jumps on guests for HOURS.

Yes!



Dogs who jump on me and makes Freddy Crugar marks on my legs and the owner doesn't say a thing.

And yes again. Those comments are along the lines of my post above. I've had similar experiences. And I don't visit those friends anymore that have dogs that do that. When they ask why I won't come over and I tell them, they just laugh it off or and say, "oh the dog just really likes you" or "they won't harm you". Um, no, get your dog off of me because I don't like it. Period.

[jess&dan]

This applies if I'm an overnight guest:

Dirty sheets on the bed - If you're going to invite me to stay at your house, then at least have clean sheets.


Completely agree! A year ago we were staying at our SIL's house. First, she handed us the sheets to make the bed ourselves. But as if that wasn't bad enough...the sheet had a huge red stain on it. Give you one guess as to what that most likely was! My poor DH was so grossed out (it was on his side of the bed) that he slept on the floor. Yuck! Plus, her house was just plain dirty...but that's a whole other story!

[ysolde]

ITA about the bathroom essentials: toilet paper, soap, hand towels, a plunger, some fragrance spray.

Taking your shoes off-It's one thing when it's raining or snowing, but having to walk around dirty floors in my socks skeeves me out.


OMG! When my Ex- BIL and his wife would come over, they would take off their shoes, and walk around in their dirty, stinky socks! ICK!!!!! What is up with that? :eek:

[Kimberland30]

When there isn't enough TP in the bathroom.

Or if it rolls from under the roll instead of over the roll. :D

[Niobe]

Dogs who jump on me and makes Freddy Crugar marks on my legs and the owner doesn't say a thing.

YES! I like dogs, I really do. But I've been bitten before and get nervous when dogs start jumping on me. Especially a dog I don't know well. I hate it when I go to someone's house and they just let their dog maul me. The dog may just be friendly, but I don't know that and it makes me very uncomfortable. Control your pet!

I don't like houses that are super-clean, have dust covers on everything, can't sit on certain chairs, etc. If I wanted to visit a museum, I would. I wanted to visit a home and I prefer them to be, you know, homey. I don't like houses that look like no one lives there.

[udsweetpea]

Or if it rolls from under the roll instead of over the roll. :D

I'm anal, but I always fix other peoples' TP if it rolls from the bottom. :)

[AHammer]

I don't like houses that are super-clean, have dust covers on everything, can't sit on certain chairs, etc. If I wanted to visit a museum, I would. I wanted to visit a home and I prefer them to be, you know, homey. I don't like houses that look like no one lives there.

I would take that over a pig sty any day! I have two friends who keep disgustingly dirty homes. They probably don't know what a vacuum or mop is.

[DallasLady]

Dirty houses. Don't invite me over if you don't have the decency to clean the place. I don't enjoy filth as much as you seem to.

My biggest pet peeve is BIL's wild dog. They refuse to send him to any kind of training. He tears up their furniture and carpets, pees and poops all over thier house but they don't think it's a problem. They love to have people over, and they think it's funny that the dog jumps all over everyone and eats food out of everyone's plates. After the last visit, I told DH I am not taking my daughter over there again. I cannot tolerate their dog jumping all over my 10 month old, barking and snapping at her and taking food right out of her hands.

[Standrea]

This applies if I'm an overnight guest:

Dirty sheets on the bed - If you're going to invite me to stay at your house, then at least have clean sheets.

How about a condom wrapper, and a PILE of dirty socks towards the foot of the bed, under the covers!! Worst part, was that we didn't find them until the next morning!! ICK!

[KK812]

I'm anal, but I always fix other peoples' TP if it rolls from the bottom. :)

Perhaps, then, you are on the "Pet peeves when others visit your house" list, since some people like it that way. :D Kidding, of course. I would definitely notice it, too.

[villanelle75]

I'm anal, but I always fix other peoples' TP if it rolls from the bottom. :)

Seriously?!

I guess mine rolls over the top (the paper falls over the front of the roll), so I'd be safe, but I would think my guests were incredibly presumptuous and rude for "fixing" my toilet paper if they didn't like the direction it went! How is that any different from rearranging their linen closet if you don't like they way they have it organized? Or disciplining their children if you disagree with their methods of doing so?

[wendalah]

Damn, I don't even notice how the TP falls.

[udsweetpea]

Seriously?!

I guess mine rolls over the top (the paper falls over the front of the roll), so I'd be safe, but I would think my guests were incredibly presumptuous and rude for "fixing" my toilet paper if they didn't like the direction it went! How is that any different from rearranging their linen closet if you don't like they way they have it organized? Or disciplining their children if you disagree with their methods of doing so?

I was being sarcastic... going along with all of the other threads about how things in your house are arranged.

[villanelle75]

Oh thank goodness!!!

[Weddings by]

Talking on the phone! :(

[Kanga]

I went to visit a (childless) friend out of state leaving my daughter behind, making it clear I wanted one last weekend away childfree before my 2nd dd came. She then proceeds to take me to her sister's house with two teething kids, her aunts house with 5 catty sisters, etc.

[PG-rated]

The shoe discussion raging in the other thread reminded me of this one:

Being asked to take off my wet shoes in a mud room, which then requires me to walk through puddles in my socks to get inside.

[ysolde]

The shoe discussion raging in the other thread reminded me of this one:

Being asked to take off my wet shoes in a mud room, which then requires me to walk through puddles in my socks to get inside.

AAACCCKKK!!!!

[kugrrly]

I'm anal, but I always fix other peoples' TP if it rolls from the bottom

That would really upset me if someone changed the way the TP rolls. Just be happy that it is there to use.

ETA....did not read the next page. :)

[ysolde]

Hehe. I provide Charmin. I provide a little silver bowl with a few packs of "Petals" (for those who prefer the pre-moistened towelette experience). I leave a lit scented candle in the bathroom. There is a tube of moiturizing hand cleanser, and two kinds of hand lotion on the sink. When I have guests, there is either a thick hand towel, or a linen hand towel, depending on the season. Check under the sink, and there are air sickness bags. Basically, you can have an upset stomach while puking, not make a mess, not leave a bad smell, clean yourself up three different ways, and be fresh and moisturized on your way out.

[eli1126]

Hehe. I provide Charmin. I provide a little silver bowl with a few packs of "Petals" (for those who prefer the pre-moistened towelette experience). I leave a lit scented candle in the bathroom. There is a tube of moiturizing hand cleanser, and two kinds of hand lotion on the sink. When I have guests, there is either a thick hand towel, or a linen hand towel, depending on the season. Check under the sink, and there are air sickness bags. Basically, you can have an upset stomach while puking, not make a mess, not leave a bad smell, clean yourself up three different ways, and be fresh and moisturized on your way out.

Now, that's a bathroom :)

[villanelle75]

Air sickness bags!!! What a great idea! Dh is out of town and tonight when we talk, I am going to tell him to appropriate the bags from his flights home.

[ysolde]

Now, that's a bathroom :)

Lots of IBS in my family. Not to mention one of my best friends. :o

[Tracie]

ITA about the big dogs that jump. I am not much of a dog fan, and I absolutely hate it when dogs jump on me!

I also hate it when a house smells like wet dog. Ew!

The other thing is cat hair. Growing up I had a friend whose house I would always leave covered in cat hair. I love cats and I loved her cats, but that was just gross. We have a cat and I am always very meticulous about cleaning up the cat hair before any guests come over!

[Fenway]

Fighting! I have a friend who constantly argues with her DH when there is company over. It is so annoying and uncomfortable. I don't go over for that reason. I'd leave in such a bad mood from dealing with it all night.

[Kanga]

Oh, and dogs. I LOVE dogs, really love them, BUT I still hate when they tackle me as I walk in the door. Especially my parents cocker spaniel. As I stand by the door with a toddler in one arm, a baby in a carseat in the other, and a diaper bag in the mix of it somewhere, the least you could do is open the door for me rather than waving at me through the kitchen window. And they wonder why I ring the bell:rolleyes: Controlling the dog so I don't have to would be a bonus. My parents also usually go on about their daily business when we visit. Drives.me.nuts. One wednesday my mom asked me to come visit and invited me to the local pool. My dad was OOT. He calls that Saturday and asks if we'd like to come down again on sunday (1 hr drive). I didn't really want to but felt bad since he hadn't seen the kids in a while. Packed them up (no easy task, that's for sure), took them down. He stayed for a few hours, putzing around the house, then decided to go on a motorcycle ride with friends. That left me, visiting with my mom who I'd just seen a few days prior. It's not unusual for them to run errands, watch movies (I wouldn't mind watching with them but no toddler sits through a 2 hr movie, least not mine), mow the lawn, etc. Um, YOU invited ME down.

[angel17]

Forcing their fat-laden meals down my throat or making me feel bad for not eating it.

I had to quote/repeat and bold this. I CHOOSE to eat a certain way. I don't care if YOU don't think I need to lose weight. PLEASE stop policing how and what I eat. I'm NOT going to stuff my face with junk food just to make you happy. Being a guest doesn't mean I have to completely change my personal habits for your comfort.

[Fenway]

Hehe. I provide Charmin. I provide a little silver bowl with a few packs of "Petals" (for those who prefer the pre-moistened towelette experience). I leave a lit scented candle in the bathroom. There is a tube of moiturizing hand cleanser, and two kinds of hand lotion on the sink. When I have guests, there is either a thick hand towel, or a linen hand towel, depending on the season. Check under the sink, and there are air sickness bags. Basically, you can have an upset stomach while puking, not make a mess, not leave a bad smell, clean yourself up three different ways, and be fresh and moisturized on your way out.

Wow! You are so accommodating, and that's just the bathroom. You sound like a fabulous host. Feel free to invite me over anytime. :)

I guess that could be another pet peeve... people who invite themselves over. :p

[Kanga]

Or worse yet, don't let you know their inviting themselves over, then walk in without bothering to knock, talking loudly on their cell phone and waking up your children. Then go on complain said kids are cranky and don't want to see them

[MLA]

For me it's a dirty guest bathroom. If you're having people over, clean your bathroom for goodness sake! And please provide clean hand towels.

[Rosebud]

If I've been invited somewhere for dinner, I hate it if I arrive and the host is running around frantic, nothing is ready, no one offers me a drink and instead leaves me standing there while they panic about the food.

Look, we've all run behind when company is arriving and I've definitely had times where I wasn't ready to go when my guests arrived. But I'm thinking of the people who are NEVER ready. I have a girlfriend who- without fail- will have her hair in a towel and the food not even started when we arrive a little after the appointed time. I always find it really stressful. She and her husband start yelling at each other about who has to prepare what. I can't really be of much help in the chaos. It sucks.

When someone walks in your door, I think the very basics of hospitality indicate that you should greet them with a smile, offer them a drink, and chit chat. If you have more cooking to do, make sure DH/SO stays and keeps your guests company when you duck back into the kitchen. Don't stress out your guests!

[silvergrey]

That reminds me of one of mine--when you're invited over for a BBQ and they light the charcoal after you get there, meaning it'll be at least two hours before you eat. I always make DH light the charcoal an hour before party time, so the grill gets hot, and burgers can be cooked when guests arrive.

[silvergrey]

Or they'd try to jump in our laps, which I found odd since I hear cats need time to warm up to guests. This happened throughout the whole shower and some people were visibly uncomfortable.

I have a pretty friendly cat. One day, a guest was wearing very strong cologne, and Cleo decided she really liked the cologne. She kept slowly crawling straight up his chest, rubbing herself all over his shirt the whole way. I'd remove her and she go straight for him again. I was so shocked, it took me a couple minutes to realize I should shut her in the bedroom...she was basically molesting the poor guy! :eek::o

[MrsT]

Definitely no TP in the bathroom or a towel or soap to wash hands

People who don't watch their kids and leave me to do the job (I don't mind, just ask!!)

People who have pets (usually dogs) that smell HORRIBLE and are allowed to jump all over the guests (Just put them up or outside for a while - or better yet, bathe them before you have guests. please!!)

Leaving precious breakables on coffee tables and low-lying surfaces and inviting a bunch of toddlers over. (Seriously, I watch my kid, but sometimes I spend the entire time redirecting my child because he's entranced by the crystal whatever on the table - and from the other thread I now know that you'd rather me spend my time doing this than just moving the breakables up for a few hours)

[sublime311]

Shortage of towels is a big one for me.

Long story, but DH and I house sat for his ex-wife last year. As I was getting ready to take a shower, I realized there wasn't a washcloth set out. So, I got dressed again and went out to look for a washcloth. Not one single washcloth could be found ANYWHERE in the house. Not one - I even looked in the dirty clothes hamper to see if I could wash a load of towels... I asked my step-son what he used to wash with and he said, just soap - no scrubby or towel!! I used just soap that day, but we went straight to Target and bought some for our stay. Who doesn't have washcloths???

Another pet peeve, is when people don't use liquid hand soap, but have a big soggy bar sitting on the sink. Ew.

ETA: Cushy toilet seats. Or worse. When I was little my mom's aunt and uncle had a FUZZY toilet seat. I kid you not. Like a troll doll head kind of fuzzy. Not the toilet cover... THE SEAT that you put your bottom on. That is just wrong.

[kalogrias]

Taking your shoes off-It's one thing when it's raining or snowing, but having to walk around dirty floors in my socks skeeves me out.

You'd hate coming here -- in Korea, it's considered extremely bad manners and rude NOT to take off your shoes before entering the house. Most places have ondol (below the floor, heated through water pipes) heating so the point is to feel that through your socks. It's also meant to keep your floors cleaner -- and believe me, it works! We don't allow shoes in our house (we have an area for people to take them off) because we realized that it was MUCH easier to keep the floors clean when we weren't constantly Lysoling off street nastiness.

Long story, but DH and I house sat for his ex-wife last year. As I was getting ready to take a shower, I realized there wasn't a washcloth set out. So, I got dressed again and went out to look for a washcloth. Not one single washcloth could be found ANYWHERE in the house. Not one - I even looked in the dirty clothes hamper to see if I could wash a load of towels... I asked my step-son what he used to wash with and he said, just soap - no scrubby or towel!! I used just soap that day, but we went straight to Target and bought some for our stay. Who doesn't have washcloths???


We don't ever use washcloths. Or scrubbies. Either one of us. My skin is too sensitive to be scrubbed down like that, and DH doesn't like them. We have hand towels that are by the sink so that there is a way to dry off your hands after washing (and we do have pump soap), but the only towels besides those that you'll find in our house are bath towels and smaller towels that are designated for hair drying. Though maybe now I should go buy washcloths for people? :confused:

My biggest pet peeve is dirty sheets. Not much to add to what PPs have said, but I would rather sleep on a couch with no sheets, in my clothes, than on a bed that has dirty sheets. Yuck.

[Foley42]

Another pet peeve, is when people don't use liquid hand soap, but have a big soggy bar sitting on the sink. Ew.
MIL and FIL always have bar soap in their bathroom. I know it's cheaper, but it totally grosses me out.

[Adaya]

Who doesn't have washcloths???



After traveling to other countries and even to homes here in the U.S., I found that many don't have washcloths. Many of the hotels where I stayed in South America didn't have washcloths. So now, I just pack my own anytime I go anywhere just in case.

[Sin Nombre]

I'm really very easy to please; I just need the basics. The only thing that really bothers me is if I'm invited to stay over somewhere, PLEASE let me know ahead of time if you're a non-coffee household, so I can arrange to bring or get my own immediately upon waking. Otherwise, I am going to be jonesing like a junkie.

[thedoorchick]

I never use washcloths. Don't know why, I just never liked them. But I do have them available for houseguests.

[thedoorchick]

I'm really very easy to please; I just need the basics. The only thing that really bothers me is if I'm invited to stay over somewhere, PLEASE let me know ahead of time if you're a non-coffee household, so I can arrange to bring or get my own immediately upon waking. Otherwise, I am going to be jonesing like a junkie.

Regarding this, I really do think it's good manners as a host to have coffee available. We're a non-coffee household, but I keep some around because I know most people prefer that to a Diet Coke in the morning. ;)

[wendalah]

I don't use washcloths. I have some, I think, somewhere...I think as part of a registry gift for our wedding? We just lather up directly with the soap.

[udsweetpea]

That reminds me of one of mine--when you're invited over for a BBQ and they light the charcoal after you get there, meaning it'll be at least two hours before you eat. I always make DH light the charcoal an hour before party time, so the grill gets hot, and burgers can be cooked when guests arrive.

I HATE THIS! I don't want to arrive at 6 expecting dinner in a short while and then have to wait until 8 for some burgers!

[Kanga]

I HATE THIS! I don't want to arrive at 6 expecting dinner in a short while and then have to wait until 8 for some burgers!


Same here! Especially if the sides are all pasta salads and the like because i'm not fond of them and have nothing to munch on in the mean time.

[LittleFredPunkinHead]

DH and I are not coffee drinkers, so it took us a little while to learn on the coffee thing. But both his parents, my parents, and my BIL are coffee drinkers, so we eventually got there. ;)

(This reminds me though, we still haven't finished unpacking from moving earlier in the year, and I haven't found the coffee maker yet. I better find it before we have any guests!)

On the flipside of the coffee thing- most people are good about it, but some people... It drives me absolutely nuts when we have coffee-drinking guests who make a pot of coffee, somehow manage to slop it around everywhere and then don't bother even attempting to wipe it up! Dh's uncle is like this. Dude, there's a whole row of paper towels next to the coffeemaker and a dishrag in the sink on the other side!

[Kimberland30]

Oh the BBQ thing really gets on my nerves too. I can't count how many times we've been invited to a cook out, and it's hours before we actually eat. We were at one house for about 3 hours once, and needless to say I filled up on beer while waiting for dinner. Beer on an empty stomach = instant drunkeness for me, so it was quite a trip. But I was famished when I finally ate, and ate myself right into a coma.

[Niobe]

I don't keep washcloths or liquid hand soap either. I don't think I've used a washcloth for bathing since I was a kid, I've never owned any. I lather up with the bar of soap directly. And I don't keep liquid hand soap because it's full of chemicals that irritate my skin, so I only use natural bar soap. I've never thought about soap being gross - it's soap, isn't it inherently clean?

[KrissyCat7]

It totally disgusts me that people expect their guests to sleep on dirty sheets. YUCK!

[maplekitty]

No waste basket in the bathroom!! How awkward is it to have to sneak into the kitchen unoticed with a wrapped up tampon or maxi pad in your hand!!!

[Brandles]

How about this one--NO TRASH CAN IN THE BATHROOM!! :eek: I kid you not! I needed a trashcan in the bathroom, and I searched under the sink and in the closet for it! I had to wrap my "monthly" trash up in TP and throw it away out in the kitchen--where other people were sitting/standing around, talking and eating! :eek:

Also, dogs that aren't controlled by their owners. No, I don't want my toes(or any other part of my body) licked by a dog. I also hate it when people let their dogs jump up on me--especially if I have hose on or their paws are dirty!

In HS, I was visiting a friend and his mother decided that she was going to shelack (sp) the wooden kitchen floor! :eek: It did not look like it needed it and it made me almost throw up. I had to leave. From then on out, I always asked whether she was doing that before I would visit.

[Brandles]

OMG--maplekitty and I must've cross-posted! If you lived in Ohio, I'd think that we visited the same person! ;)

[miaclear]

A hot house. My MIL refuses to turn the a/c on - even now when it's 98 degrees every day. And she wonders why we won't come visit with the kids :rolleyes: Again, I don't expect you to make the house cold as I keep mine, but I really don't want to be sweating while I'm visiting.


OMG...is your MIL my MIL??? We live in Plano and it's the SAME thing. What is up with that! Especially now that we have a baby. I'm not going to bring my infant to her house so he can melt. Ugh.

[Fenway]

OMG...is your MIL my MIL??? We live in Plano and it's the SAME thing. What is up with that! Especially now that we have a baby. I'm not going to bring my infant to her house so he can melt. Ugh.

I share the same MILDEW too!!