RSVPing about a toddler

[Scooter]

We received a wedding invitation and I know from previous conversations with the bride that our toddler is invited. She is going to be 17 months old at the wedding and I am trying to figure out how I should RSVP for her dinner. I don't want my friend to have to spend a ton of money on a dinner if my DD is only going to (maybe) eat a small portion of it.

I'm not sure what the expected thing is, and we didn't have any toddlers at our wedding. :o Should I just RSVP for DH & I and write in that we'll be bringing something for DD's dinner? This is going to be out of state in a city we've never been to before, but should I just plan to find DD some food earlier that day somehow to bring with us to the wedding? Or should I just go ahead and write in 3 dinners on the reply card?

[lml41981]

I'd just RSVP and let her decide if she's going to give a full adult plate or offer kiddie-fare. I'd have some snacks and stuff in the diaper bag just in case she doesn't like the food, though...maybe a Gerber Lil' Entrees or Pasta Pickups that can be served at room temp (I've never bought these, so I can't vouch for whether or not they're good).

[Scooter]

Thanks! So is it a common thing at weddings to have kid meals? I feel so dumb asking, but like I said it wasn't even an issue at our wedding (plus we had a buffet).

It's so hard to plan what she's going to be eating in 3 months, things change so rapidly at this age. I just can't guess so far ahead of time.

[yby1]

Thanks! So is it a common thing at weddings to have kid meals? I feel so dumb asking, but like I said it wasn't even an issue at our wedding (plus we had a buffet).


I would say it's common. We had to give our caterer the number of kid's meals that would be served at our wedding. I think the dishes were chicken nuggets and fresh fruit or spaghetti.

[lml41981]

I think it just depends on how guest-oriented the bride and her family are thinking... My wedding didn't have kid-friendly food...but I had a snotty caterer and few kids in attendance (and most of the kids who came weren't picky eaters, so it didn't matter...the two who were picky eaters were holy terrors during the ceremony, so their father took them to McDonald's and skipped the reception altogether). My sister's wedding was kid-friendly. One of my cousins didn't invite kids to her wedding, but the other two did and they had pizza, chicken strips and the like.

[tlew12778]

Kids from 4-11 were half price at my wedding. Kids under 4 were free. They got regular adult food but that's pretty normal in Italy as all kids will eat pasta anyway.

For the one todder in attendance, I just made sure that there was stroller room in case they brought one.

[jennylou]

I'm in a wedding in September and asked the bride about kids. She said anyone under six was free. So, it's possible that there isn't even a kiddie fare. I was glad to know that because of DD.

[rubyslippers]

I think kids meals are pretty standard. Our reception site did chicken fingers and curly fries for ours. They served the kids at the same time salad was served. It was great, the kids were all happily eating by the time the parents were served.

[myshel]

I'm not sure how the RSVP card is laid out, but when we get those and I respond, I usually write, "2+ 1 toddler" or "2+ toddler and baby." That lets the bride (or whomever) know that the other other people attending with us are small people.

At a recent wedding we went to, the bride and groom offered a children's menu that parents could pick from. This was awesome and not something many of us have had experience with as most wedding dinners in this area of the country are buffet style. The servers even brought our friends' child a sippy cup out on a tray!

[EJM]

At our reception we had kiddie meals available, there were a couple of choices so once I knew what children/kids (under 12) were going to attend I called and asked the parents which of 3 things I should get for their child. So I agree with PPs and would write in "+ toddler".

[jajacobsen]

Our venue didn't charge for children under 6. We had a seated buffet, and I just mde sure there waere some kid friendly options like fruit, rolls, etc. There was no special children's menu. There were no complaints, either.

[snowzilla]

If she is aware and welcoming children to the reception, then she has likely already spoken with the caterer or venue regarding the price on children's meals. I would just note on the RSVP card that the third person is a toddler, and go from there. I would bring backup snacks just in case though. :)

Making sure you note that the third guest is a toddler will help them plan for booster seats and/or high chairs as well. :)

[jenjen0713]

I'm not sure how the RSVP card is laid out, but when we get those and I respond, I usually write, "2+ 1 toddler" or "2+ toddler and baby." That lets the bride (or whomever) know that the other other people attending with us are small people.


This is exactly what we do as well.

[coquelicot]

I think the "2+ toddler" option would be your best bet. At my wedding, we didn't have special kids' meals because ours was finger-food stuff, like mini-sandwiches, cheese, fruit, veggies, pretzels, etc. We figured that most kids would like at least SOMETHING on there. I can't remember if I figured children into the count for the caterer. I think I did. Probably shouldn't have, given the HUGE amounts of food we had left over. :)

[pixielou]

if i know the dinner is a plated meal - i've written "3" on the rsvp card. then on the back of the card, i've written a little note stating that dd is vegetarian and she will probably do fine eating the rolls and veggies off of dh and my plates. i've found that the standard wedding kid fare is chicken fingers and fries - 2 foods that my dd just will not eat. (i have not been invited to a wedding since dd was born where i actually had to choose my dinner - in which case i would rsvp dh and my choices, and still write the note on teh back regarding dd).

if i know the reception is a buffet, i will still write "3" on the rsvp - but not include any notes on the back.

i usually write the "3" since i figure that anybody inviting my dd by name on the invitation knows that she is a toddler.

[Scooter]

Thank you, everyone! Extremely helpful. I'm going to go ahead witht he majority consensus and write 2 + toddler. It won't be a surprise to her anyway, but I want to be clear so as not to add to thepre-wedding chaos. ;0
Making sure you note that the third guest is a toddler will help them plan for booster seats and/or high chairs as well. :)AAAH! I hadn't even thought about that! Good point!

i've found that the standard wedding kid fare is chicken fingers and fries - 2 foods that my dd just will not eat. Yeah, that worries me with some of the posts here. All three of us are vegetarian, so chicken strips will not work for DD. Neither will french fries, because IMO she's way too young to try that sort of food. I think I'll just pack some snacks in the diaper bag, just in case!

[amygrrl]

hey scooter. i would ask what the kid foods will be. at our wedding, i specifically requested cheese pizza for the kids. it was a gourmet thin crust all organic kind of thing. but dan had a cousin who had a kid who wouldn't eat pizza or anything except spaghetti, so i made a special request for him. the caterers were happy to oblige and it didn't cost anything more.