Skip the church?

[beachlvr]

So, we've been invited to dh's cousins wedding. The wedding itself is at 4pm on a Friday, the reception is at 7.

The cousin (knowingly) planned this wedding for the week that my dh's entire family (parents, brother, sister, us) are to be in another state for a family vacation. We had all planned on leaving the vacation a day early to attend the wedding. But it's a 6 hour drive to get there, and I have three kids, so I really have an 8 hour drive, best case.

Is it tacky to skip the wedding and just go to the reception? I really don't want to cut another day off our vacation just to get back so I can go to the church service, and that 3 hours buys us a lot more leeway in our day.

[ejs]

I'd either attend both or skip both.

[PinkMartini]

I'd either attend both or skip both.

Ditto!

[tlew12778]

I agree with the others.

[Asha]

personally, the most important part of a wedding is the ceremony. though, it is not completely uncommon in our area to skip the ceremony. how close are you to the cousin?

[jennylou]

I thought it was incredibly rude of people to come to our reception but not to the wedding ceremony.

[bookworm]

Is it tacky to skip the wedding and just go to the reception?

Yes. It was actually my father who taught me this one (I asked him once), so I think it must be a pretty egregious violation.

[Fenway]

All or nothing. It surprises me how many people skip the ceremony. I find it very rude.

[Maggie8202]

I also find it rude, but it is a common practice where I am. But I think it may have to do with people planning the ceremony and receptions many hours apart and very far away from eachother. My favorite part of weddings is the ceremony so I hate to skip it.

[j*east]

I'd do all or nothing. It's one day of vacation, but it's your cousin's only (I imagine) wedding day.

I was invited to a wedding once where the ceremony was on a Friday at 4 and the reception the next morning an hour away. The bride, a not-very-close work colleague, actually told me not to come to the ceremony, which I thought was weird. I ended up skipping the ceremony and going to the reception, mostly so DH and I didn't have to miss work, but it felt really strange/meaningless, and I'm not sure why she wanted it like that. (The invitation clearly invited everyone to both--it wasn't a reception-only invitation.)

[beachlvr]

Darn. I had a feeling that's what you all were going to say. Guess we'll just be getting up really early that day.

We're not particularly close at all, but we do like each other when we get together.

[j*east]

Darn. I had a feeling that's what you all were going to say. Guess we'll just be getting up really early that day.

That's what I was envisioning for you--sorry! If it helps, my sister and BIL often travel with their kids that way--throw them in the car in pjs at 4 a.m., drive several hours while they sleep, then get breakfast and finish the trip. It cuts down on stops for them. Their kids are 3, 6, and 10. Good luck--I hope it works out OK.