"The House that Got Away?"

[ginadc]

Does anyone still have regret over a house they wish they'd bought?

2+ years later, I'm still suffering non-buyer's remorse over a house we didn't buy. To start out, we do have a lovely house. It's an 1890s Victorian on a gorgeous street, near a cute town center and right near DH's train station. Backyard pool and deck, three stories, lots of character and charm, a lot of updates that were very nicely done.

On the other hand: there's a lot of work that still needs to be done. The hardwood floors on the main floor will ultimately just have to be replaced...they're on their last legs. To go into everything that we'll need to do in the next 5 years would be too long, so let's just say: a lot. Plus, there are a couple of huge handicaps that can't be changed. There is no family room, and we love to entertain--the flow of the house just really doesn't work well for parties. (We could add one, but at 100s of Ks.) There's no garage, and no room for one unless we rip out the gardens that we love and that were part of the reason we bought the house. The deck and pool are great, and mean we can have good summertime parties, but the pool and stone patio are 80% of the backyard, which means you have to watch kids like a hawk all the time and can't just let them romp in the yard. (We were at a BBQ at friends' yesterday and I was so covetous of their safely fenced yard, Trex deck with gate, and the ability to let kids just roam freely.) We are finishing the basement, but it's so small and with such low ceilings and such a complicated setup that it will be very expensive to complete and we'll still not get a family room out of it (playroom, wine cellar, pantry/storage and workshop).

Speaking of letting kids roam freely--as you can imagine, an 1890s Victorian is really tough to kid-proof. Victorians are gorgeous in so many ways, but so impractical in others.

Meanwhile...there was a house we saw when we first started looking, and we didn't think we were quite ready to buy b/c our other house hadn't sold yet. As it happened, we ended up juggling financing to make a bid on the house we own anyway, so we probably could have done the same thing with that one.

It had everything that I wish this house had: a gorgeous family room off the recently renovated kitchen, level yard (in need of some basic landscaping and a fence, but that's it) with nice new deck, garage, finished basement (with ceilings you don't crack your head on), and basically, everything had been recently renovated. The wife was really depressed about moving because she had just put so much care into renovating the house, but her husband had been transferred. Plus, it was significantly less than this house. The only negative--our big bedroom set, then recently purchased for our much larger house further away from the city, wouldn't have fit in the MBR or any bedroom and we'd have had to get rid of it. In retrospect, big whoop. The location was also good, on a gorgeous side street slightly further away from the cute town center, and maybe 15 minutes walk to the train station instead of 10. Literally, we would've maybe had to spend $5K on landscaping and a fence and that would have been it--the place was absolutely turnkey. We were idiots not to jump on it and do the same creative financing thing we did a month or so later with this house.

I think had we actually had DD at the time, especially if she'd been a toddler, I would have bent over backwards to get that house and not considered this one. There's so much about this house that just isn't kid-friendly to me, and it's driving me crazy. But DH loves this house and just shuts me down whenever I get frustrated or down about how much more work we have before it's remotely the way we want it, the fact that there are things that will never be the way we (I?) want, and how much it'll cost to get there. I honestly wish we could move again, but DH would sooner die, and while we could probably get what we paid for this house, we'd take a loss overall what with commissions and taxes.

So I guess this is both just a vent--because I can't talk about it with DH--and a question--has anybody else ever had this experience? Am I the only crazy one out here still bemoaning the house that got away?

[BTB]

Uggh, yes.

We almost bought a home very similar to this one, except it was 12 minutes closer to "stuff" (malls, restaurants, DD's daycare) and was more polished - fresher paint in better colors, newer carpet, etc. And, it was $30,000 more. Went quickly for list price, too.

It would be worth it now to save that 24 minutes (round trip) each day. And I'd love to not have to deal with painting. We drive right past THTGA (the house that got away) every day and so often I think "we could be home now". If DH is with me, I say it out loud. Drives him nuts!

I console myself by remembering we never intended to buy our "forever house" and that I'll prioritize location next time.

FWIW, we closed 13.5 months ago.

[Hello Kitty]

I think it's pretty common. When we were househunting, there was one house in an amazing neighborhood, a fixer-upper but still grossly over our one-income price range (like 50% more :p). I really wish I would have pushed our finances some and lived off of savings, ate ramen, whatever, to try and get in there.

I'm incredibly happy in our house, and I enjoy not being house poor, but I do believe that we are effectively priced out of that neighborhood and would never be able to buy in at the current rates. Ah well!

[ManteoChik]

Oh yeah, and there are STILL days where thinking about it really ticks me off..lol.

We moved away from our hometown (and home state) for aboue 2.5 years for SO's job and my school. The whole time we were gone, we continued to watch the real estate in our hometown - which happends to be CRAZY. The last time we came home before moving (we came home in August for a couple of weeks, then moved that December) we saw a house FSBO while driving around to look at another house.

We both looked at the house, then the FSBO sign, then each other. We though, just by looking at this house, its probably out of our price range. We called the #, got the info, and hung up. After talking about it for a few minutes we decided to call the owner back and go see it since the price was actually reasonable. We quickly called me dad and he ran over to meet us - since he wanted to go and ask all the questions he knew we'd forget. The house was perfect for us right now. Just the two of us, no kids (yet), it would have been all we needed - but with some room to grow. Of course there were some things that I'd want to change but all in all it would have been great.

We ended up seeing it twice that week before heading back to FL. The owner told us that people had called but we were the only ones to actually see it. We told her that we'd keep in touch, and let her know within a week or two. I thought this would be sufficient because our market has been *dead* for well over two years. We asked the owners to PLEASE call us and give us a chance to send a good faith deposit (one of our family members could easily run it over) if someone came along and was interested. We went back to FL and SO kinda wavered over it for about a week. FINALLY, we decided to make an offer and the next morning before we could call the owners they called us - to let us know that they just accepted an offer. :(

I think in the end, the owner saw us as two young people who wouldn't have a chance. It would have been perfect because they were wanting to stay in the house until December and that's when we'd be ready to move. Had it boiled down to it, we had family that was our "bank" so to speak. They were going to buy the house (since they have an endless income, and it would have been easy) and then turn around and sell it to us for the same price OR let us rent it for a year and then buy it at the same price.

We've continued to look since then (coming up on one year this august since "losing the house") and there has been nothing. Its really starting to get to me.

[young lioness]

Yes, we had a "house that got away".

Before we saw and made an offer on this house, we made an offer on another house and lost it.

It was an early 1900s Victorian on a double-wide corner lot. The listing was WAY underpriced for the size and amenities, and the real estate market was hot, so we offered $15,000 more than asking. They accepted the offer of someone who offered 5K over asking but waived the inspections.

We like our house but have recently started having issues with the neighbors and are anxious to move. That other house would have needed more work than the house we bought (it had some funky layout things going on upstairs and was decorated in a very 80's hair band style) but it has also appreciated a LOT more than our house has (ours has appreciated by about 20-25%, that house has appreciated close to 40%). So I still think "what if" about that house every once in a while.

[ginadc]

Whew! At least I'm not the only one. BTB, my "house that got away" isn't on my regular driving route, but I have been known to cruise by there every once in awhile just to whimper at it from my car window. Lame or what?

[~queen~]

I didn't have a house that got away, per se, but I did have major house 'regret' after we purchased our new construction home.

It was just the 2 of us (still is!) and we originally wanted a house that could fit a family. For whatever reason, we decided to purchase a house that just fit the both of us, instead of the 1000 sqft larger house that would have cost $30k more. Stupid, stupid mistake because in the end, we felt a little cramped in our house and decided to move. At that time that we sold, the $30k difference was now worth over $250k more in value! Plus, we wouldn't have had to sell to upgrade. Ugh.

Anyway, we never did get over the regret of not purchasing the larger home. Fortunately, for me it was both of us who felt the same way and we were willing to change it, but it was a tough (and costly!) lesson to learn. See if you can get your DH to compromise with you to say you will live there for a few more years, in exchange for moving to a more family friendly house later on.

[dreamgirly]

Yep- we bid 15% over asking, offer to pay all closing costs, and still lost the house. It was in a great neighborhood, hardwood floors, great layout, beautiful backyard that didn't have any neighbors. We still drive by it, every now and then... we had great ideas for the landscaping and exterior of the house, but the people who won the bidding war have done nothing, absolutely nothing to make it reach its full potential. so sad. That was 3 yrs ago...

Since then we bought & sold another house, made a decent profit that allowed us to buy our current home. If we had actually won the bidding on the first house, we would not have the amount of equity/net worth that we have now, so I guess it worked out for the best - but I just knew it was "the house." sigh.

[rileyandfredsmom]

Oh yes...three actually. :( Two of them we missed by mere hours!

The first one was absolutely perfect, perfect neighborhood, perfect setting, perfect layout....except it listed about one month before we were ready to purchase. It sold within 2 weeks of being on the market. I still drive by it and sigh (I have to go out of my way to drive by it and I still do it!)

The other two we saw on the same day as the house we bought. The first one was very nice, nice landscaping, interior in good shape, eat-in kitchen, loft, perfectly maintained, one-owner 20 year old home. We saw it at 11 a.m. on Saturday morning, someone had put an offer in at 9 a.m. and it had already been accepted! Can you say 'motivated seller'???? We were off looking at 'no' homes while ours was being bought!

The second one we saw at noon that Saturday, real hardwood floors throughout, beautiful sunroom, remodeled kitchen, gorgeous pool....the owners had accepted an offer the night before on it.

I see the second home frequently as it is only one block over from the house we purchased...it makes me sad sometimes. Especially since our house needs so much work....work that was already done on the other homes. But I do love my house, love the layout and neighborhood....eventually it will look just as nice as all those others!

[Renrel]

Me to. There was a house we saw on a rainy weekend right after we had backed out of an agreement on a other house due to mold issues that made my DH very antzy. The house we backed out of had a great yard, a great school system, was near friends and a block from the excellent town libarry. But it was also smaller than we wanted and on a semi-busy street. Anyway, the week of negotations and inspects had us exhausted and a bit depressed. DH did not even want to go looking but I insisted.
The house we saw had a wonderful large living room, big wide stairs, a nice sized kitchen we could live with but we want to redo, a basement with really high ceilings and all the bedrooms we needed. It had things we would not like but it probable would have served our needs well. It did need alot of work - updating of electical work and the water heater are what a remember and I don't know if the cost of those would have made it a deal breaker. We went back a second time that day to look again. I went home and tried to do comps. (DH usually did those but he was not into doing any housing stuff that week) The house we looked at was one of, if not the, least expensive in the neighborhood. There were several millon dollar homes in the area. This one was asking something like 700,000 and was assessed at 550,000. We decided to go back the next week and ask the renters if the basement got water when it rained, since this was part of the mold issue at the other home. The renters were not there but we could see the yard, which was better then DH had thought and we talked to a neighbor who told us the soil is sandy, to drained very well. The house we looked at did get water through the basement door doing to being lower then the neighboring plots, but that could likely have been alleviated with some creative landscaping. We took a walk and found some lovely woods and a playground within 2 blocks. Everyone we met was sooo nice and loved living in the neighborhood. The school turned out to be excellent and apparently because it is small the kids tend to stick together even when they move on to jr high and high school. We both thought we would love living in this neighborhood and that the house could be a great deal depending on how much we bring the sellers down. We e-mailed or phone our realter that we wanted to see it with him at the open house the next day. We got an e-mail back that it just went under agreement. I did a search of the neighborhood and only 4 homes sold anywhere near our price range in the last 2-3 years. I have been kicking myself for not pushing DH harder because I really think we could have made that house work for us and would have loved living in that neighborhood. We still don't have a house and I do not have good feelings anymore about finding one this year.

[EJH]

The first house we saw when we were looking 3 years ago was in a great town, great school system, walk to the commuter rail etc. Top of our price range and TINY...but relatively recently renovated. Big piece of land (for the area, anyway). We could have, as the years went by, built on to give more room. The house was adorable but for me it was the location that I think we really missed out on.

Now we're in a huge house that needs work, in a crappy school system etc. We drive by that house often and we always lament...that's for sure.

[jonesygrl]

oh for sure. granted, it was at the top of our price range (in fact, if i'm being totally honest, probably just outside of our price range) so in the long run it was for best.....but i still miss it! it was a beautifully renovated spanish bungalow, with three larger bedrooms than our house now, a functional kitchen that was beautiful, and a second bathroom (that we wish we had), as well as a huge, well-landscaped back yard.

we went through hell and back with the owners: we offered, they countered with demands, we recountered and met their demands, they recountered, we did the same...and back and forth. it was a truly awful two weeks. we finally just couldn't swing things the way they wanted - they literally wanted every appliance, the jacuzzi, PLANTS?, and everything that wasn't part of the walls and we knew that we just didn't have the $$ to rebuy everything they were taking out of the house - and walked away. it was the hardest thing we've ever done!

it's no where near where i would ever have to drive, but i've def been to known to make special trips to visit it.

[Paperweight]

My house that got away wasn't really anything special.

Meaning that it wasn't a huge, exciting house at a great price or anything like that. It was a fixer upper and priced accordingly. Only one bathroom, a small bedroom on the main floor and an open upstairs with a bedroom. It needed new everything. But for some reason I just really loved it. It was an older home with tons of character. When we were there I just had a good "feeling" about the place.

DH could bring himself to agree with me. It did need ALOT of work, didn't have a great foundation, and even the recently built dream garage couldn't sway him. But everytime we talked about it I would choke back tears and finally sob over this house that I couldn't have.

DH felt terrible about not giving me this house. And I would be so apologetic. I knew he was right about everything. I wasn't trying to make him feel bad, but I literally couldn't stop the tears. I felt like I was destined to have that house. It was really weird.

Probably DH would have eventually agreed around but luckily someone else bought it and it ceased to be an issue. Probably a good thing too, as much as I wanted this house, it was kinda scary how it made me feel.

I still take walks past it and wonder about that house.

[greenbunny]

The one we lost bidding on had such a better yard than our current place, but later I discovered that the next-door neighbors run an archery school in their backyard! :eek: I don't care how great a house is, I don't want to live next door to novices with weaponry!