The Brain Fart thread... [Archive]

chefker

06-05-2007, 10:06 AM

I think this thread is long overdue. Especially for the likes of me....this goes BEYOND mommy brain, I think. :p

Today at lunchtime: I'm washing my two lunch containers in the sink (I brown bag it usually) - one dish for salad, one for my meal. I'm trying to force one of the covers on and it WILL NOT fit. Meanwhile I'm cussing under my breath, until I realize...I'm trying to fit a Rubbermaid lid on a Tupperware container, and vice versa. :rolleyes:

Last week: I wake up in a PANIC, seeing the alarm says 5:30. "I OVERSLEPT, I'M GONNA BE LATE!" I shout to nobody in particular. As I jump into the shower, I hear DH from the bedroom - "What are you talking about, it's SATURDAY. You don't HAVE to go to work today!"

Oh. Duh. :)

And, another one that has happened more than once - my cell phone rings, and I put my iPod to my head and say, "hello? why is my phone still ringing!" (and no, it's not an iPhone either!)

HeatherFL

06-05-2007, 10:20 AM

LOL on the cell phone.

Lately, I'll literally be talking on the phone and getting ready to leave the house and say, "Where's my cell phone?" UGH...

Leilynne

06-05-2007, 10:23 AM

I frequently answer my home phone by saying " *** Hospital, Department of Dietics, Leilynne speaking! I think I may spend to much time at work.

May27JnJ

06-05-2007, 10:27 AM

I told my boss "Bless you" when she opened her Diet Dr. Pepper can a few weeks ago.

I always call my mom and I never remember what I called her for.

I'll get up from my desk to make copies and forget what I was doing with the paper I wanted copies of in my hand.

Fenway

06-05-2007, 10:27 AM

LOL on the cell phone.

Lately, I'll literally be talking on the phone and getting ready to leave the house and say, "Where's my cell phone?" UGH...

I do that all.the.time!!!!

My worst brain fart...
When I started packing a lunch for work, I'd back it the night before and put it in the fridge, then in the morning I'd always forget it. I got the bright idea to put my keys in top of my lunch bag in the fridge. The first morning I did that, I looked for my keys for a good 5 minutes before I remembered they were in the fridge. When I finally remembered, I opened the fridge, grabbed the keys and still left my lunch. :rolleyes:

Weddings by

06-05-2007, 10:36 AM

Fenway, that's funny!

Well, they all are. :D

salysaturn

06-05-2007, 10:42 AM

yup...all the time.

Last year, around Thanksgiving, a co-worker and I were talking about T-day Dinner. He said he wanted to get a good roasting pan(not one of those tin throw away ones). I said, "you know, I bet Black Friday they will have good sales on those". And he goes, "ok, I will check". The we realized that wouldn't help :)

For DH:

He had to get his oil changed in his car, and he asked if I wanted to drive my car...somehow I don't think that would have worked.

greenbunny

06-05-2007, 10:43 AM

I know I'm spending too much time on the computer when I'm reading a magazine and look at the bottom corner of the page to check the time.

My classic is to put in my contacts, put my glasses on top, then panic at the blurriness and think I'm having a sudden attack of blindness.

DH thinks it's amusing to respond to my answering the phone at work "Company, this is greenbunny" with "Home, this is DH" and a few times I've replied "Oh, hi, where are you?"

May27JnJ

06-05-2007, 10:45 AM

DH thinks it's amusing to respond to my answering the phone at work "Company, this is greenbunny" with "Home, this is DH" and a few times I've replied "Oh, hi, where are you?"

DH does something like this but when he calls me at home he'll ask me where I am. What? :confused:

salysaturn

06-05-2007, 10:45 AM

LOL...FENWAY.

It reminded me of one said co worker did. He had his lunch, a liverwurst and ham sandwich. As he was leaving, his door got stuck, so he put his sandwich down on the sidewalk, and jungled the door, and left for work...leaving the sandwich. Of course, it was a day that it was suuny and about 80 degress outside. He tells me, at least it made it off his counter, where he usually leaves it.

Fenway

06-05-2007, 10:45 AM

Oh, I have another one.
My dad is a twin. Every year I remember his birthday and forget my uncle's.

LIZNKEITH

06-05-2007, 10:59 AM

AmandaLeigh

06-05-2007, 11:01 AM

I often get up from watching TV and walk into the kitchen out of habit. I'll stand there trying to remember what I went in for, only to realize that I got up to go to the bathroom, not to get a snack.

chefker

06-05-2007, 11:07 AM

Couple of times (yeah, more than once) I've talked to my bosses on the phone when their out of town. I've ended the call with "Love you, bye". :eek:

LOL! I've almost done this a few times, but caught myself.

Along similar lines, my boss must have mixed me up with one of his buddies one time - I dropped a case off to him in his office, and as I left he yells to me, "Thanks, big guy!" Um....what? Big guy?

MrsD108

06-05-2007, 11:07 AM

Couple of times (yeah, more than once) I've talked to my bosses on the phone when their out of town. I've ended the call with "Love you, bye". :eek: Talk about being mortified. I guess I'm just used to talking on the phone to DH and my Mom.

I have done that a few times to my boss and once I did it when DH was in the car with me. He still teases me about it.

artist

06-05-2007, 11:19 AM

These are hilarious!

I have A.D.D. so a LOT of my life is just a big brain fart! :D

May27JnJ

06-05-2007, 11:19 AM

I have A.D.D. so a LOT of my life is just a big brain fart! :D

Ditto! :D

artist

06-05-2007, 11:23 AM

Ditto! :D

All I can say is thank God for drugs and therapists and books! :D

(Oh, and EXTREMELY patient friends and family!)

May27JnJ

06-05-2007, 11:34 AM

All I can say is thank God for drugs and therapists and books! :D

(Oh, and EXTREMELY patient friends and family!)

I agree and thank God for...

I love that new Justin Timberlake song.

artist

06-05-2007, 12:07 PM

I agree and thank God for...

I love that new Justin Timberlake song.

:D

LOL!

Ribbit

06-05-2007, 12:45 PM

I told my boss "Bless you" when she opened her Diet Dr. Pepper can a few weeks ago.

This nearly made me spit juice all over my computer! It's so something I would do. :D

shopaholic

06-05-2007, 01:11 PM

I was listening to music on the computer. It got too loud so I pointed the TV remote at the monitor to turn down the volume....

LittleFredPunkinHead

06-05-2007, 02:47 PM

Had to laugh about the cellphone... Just the other day I was talking to my parents on my cellphone, and then started looking for my cellphone so I could look up a phone number from my contacts list. :rolleyes:

And, I'm constantly running around frantically looking for my keys only to realize they're in my hands.

Another thing I'm constantly doing- calling my husband by my sister's name and vice versa. They're the two people I'm closest to, so I guess it makes sense, but it's still seems a little too weird and Freudian for me. ;)

SunnyAB

06-05-2007, 02:54 PM

TEARS are rolling down my cheeks, I'm laughing so hard! I am just SO glad I am not alone in the world of 'Duh'. ;) :D

phoenics

06-05-2007, 04:53 PM

I'm in my office trying to control the snorts of laughter. This thread is hilarious.

I KNOW I have brain farts all the time but I can't think of one NOW! Guess that's a brain fart in of itself.

thelittlebabu

06-05-2007, 05:02 PM

Couple of times (yeah, more than once) I've talked to my bosses on the phone when their out of town. I've ended the call with "Love you, bye". :eek: Talk about being mortified. I guess I'm just used to talking on the phone to DH and my Mom.
I once signed an email to a coworker with "Love, me". I didn't even notice and the coworker never said anything. I noticed it going through my Sent email folder and was so embarassed. I almost replied with an explanation/apology, but decided to just let it go.

imagirliegirl

06-05-2007, 05:29 PM

I am the queen of putting things in the wrong place. Milk in the pantry, peanut butter in the fridge, ice pack in the drawer. But in my defense I have MS so I just blame it on that. :D

I work at a doctor's office and one day I gave pretty much every patient the forms to fill out with our work up form instead of history form to fill out. People kept coming up to me with the most bizarre looks saying, am I supposed to know what this means? D'oh!

May27JnJ

06-06-2007, 04:51 AM

I am the queen of putting things in the wrong place. Milk in the pantry, peanut butter in the fridge, ice pack in the drawer. But in my defense I have MS so I just blame it on that. :D

I do that all the time!!! DH was eating fried chicken with his hands :rolleyes: and had it all over. He asked me to get him some hot sauce and a bottle of water. I got up and looked in the pantry. I said, "We don't have any. I thought we just bought water!" Then I realized when I saw Hamburger Helper boxes.

kari

06-06-2007, 06:22 AM

I travel lots for work and live in Northern California. I usually fly out of Oakland airport but the one time that I was flying out of San Francisco, yep, I accidently went to Oakland. :( D'oh!

petdoc08

06-06-2007, 06:41 AM

I am always looking for my sunglasses when they are on my head. DH usually lets me rush around like a fool for a couple of minutes before cluing me in. :rolleyes:

My mom has a legendary brain fart. She is a school teacher and accidently wore two different shoes to work one day. Not only were they different colors (navy and black), one was a flat peep toe and the other was a closed toe pump. I can see how the colors could escape her, but didn't she notice her new limp? Apparently she didn't realize it until lunch and rushed home to change (after being mortified).

Natasha

06-06-2007, 11:21 AM

When I drive, I get into auto pilot mode. Very often, I end up at home or at my mom's (my two most common destinations), and realize I was actually headed somewhere else. It drives me crazy, because we both live in fairly large cities, so I have usually gone WAY out of my way.

chefker

06-06-2007, 12:20 PM

Natasha - I've done the auto pilot thing soooo many times. Usually it happens when I drop DS off to daycare (my office is about a 5-10 minute drive from there). And most of the time, I catch myself before I go TOO far out of my way.

Well one time I mindlessly got on the highway and was heading home, instead of heading to work! I work in MA and live in CT - and I did not notice my error until I saw the "Welcome to Connecticut" sign and thought "OH SHIT!" :o

greenbunny

06-06-2007, 12:24 PM

Re: driving to the wrong place, I cannot tell you how many times I accidentally drove to the wrong house after we moved. Since the old house was up the street from my mom's, I'd just drop by her place to say hi then. For about a month she must have thought I was gearing up to ask for a big favor or something.

Kimberland30

06-06-2007, 05:26 PM

I'm another one who brain farts with driving. Once I was half way to work when I realized that both of my kids were still in the back seat. :o I had to turn around, call work and let them know I'd be late, and head back towards home since the sitter lived a mile from my house.

When I move offices at work (I am now upstairs), I kept walking into my old office, wondering where all my stuff went. Then it would hit me. Unfortunately I did this All.The.Time and still get joked about it.

chefker

06-13-2007, 04:34 PM

I just had the MOTHER of all brain farts. Maybe this should go in the 'mommy brain' thread, but man...this one's pretty bad. :o

I was outside this evening, spraying Roundup on the little weeds growing in between the brick path that outlines the perimeter of my inground pool. I look down and see a strange shape in the water....I say to myself "Oh my God. A SHARK!" Never mind the fact that A) I live a good hour + drive from the ocean, and B) Who has a shark in their POOL? (other than Kevin Federline, that is. :D)

The 'strange shark-shaped object' I saw was the reflection of an airplane flying overhead. *palm.slap.forehead*

Fenway

08-10-2007, 11:35 AM

I have to bump this thread. I did the stupidest thing today.

To get to the back parking lot at my office, you have to walk down a long hallway and the door is at the end. If you take a left at the end of the hallway the bathroom is there. We keep our bathroom locked because we are in the city and people tend to come in and trash it.

I needed something in my car, so I walked down the end of the hallway, took a left, stood in front of the bathroom and pressed the unlock button on the remote for my car.

Of course, the next thing I did was look around to make sure no one saw what an idiot I am. :o

kugrrly

08-10-2007, 11:47 AM

I needed something in my car, so I walked down the end of the hallway, took a left, stood in front of the bathroom and pressed the unlock button on the remote for my car.

hehehe I just had a good laugh. :)

salysaturn

08-10-2007, 02:12 PM

I needed something in my car, so I walked down the end of the hallway, took a left, stood in front of the bathroom and pressed the unlock button on the remote for my car.

I do this ALL.THE.TIME (to try and open the garage door to the house :(

salysaturn

08-10-2007, 02:13 PM

I use my key-chain alarm turn-offer (for the house alarm) to attempt to unlock my car :(

Baxter78

08-10-2007, 03:14 PM

I love this thread! :)

My most recent brain fart...DH and I were walking out of a Blockbuster store after purchasing a few DVDs. I was focused on looking at the rack of pamphlets they had in the exit area as I was trying to open the door. I kept pushing and pushing, but it would not open. DH finally said, "What are you doing? The door is over here." I came back into reality and realized I was pushing on the glass wall divider and that the ACTUAL door was to my right.

I tend to have many visual-spatial brain farts. Once, I was in a mall, saw Victoria's Secret, and decided to go in. Bam - I walked right into the wall - totally misjudged where the door was in relation to my body!

LyLMyssChaos

08-10-2007, 06:57 PM

I have been tearing my house apart for two days trying to find 2 checks because I cannot for the life of me remember where I set them down. :confused::(

carrie9142

08-10-2007, 07:48 PM

This one was my DH's, and I am enjoying telling it to anyone who will listen.

Last week I lost my car keys. I tore my house apart looking for these keys. I thought very carefully to the last time I used them and then tore those places apart twice. I get stuck taking my DH to and from work so I could have a car during the days. Of course, he is making fun of me for being so forgetful and prone to loosing things.

One morning he comes in to the bedroom and says "Baby. I have something to tell you, but you have to promise not to be mad." The keys, my keys, were in one of his pants pockets. Which were, of course, in his office. Good job.

AHammer

08-11-2007, 02:23 PM

I've shown up to work more than a few times with my shirt on backwards. Usually I figure it out around lunch when I realize I've been tugging at my too-tight neckline all day.

Niobe

08-11-2007, 02:39 PM

I have a bad habit of trying to go to work in my slippers. I'll make it out the front door and down to the sidewalk and realize something feels wrong...

I went to Blockbuster last week to return a movie only to get there and realize that I hadn't actually brought the movie. :rolleyes:

NicoleWisconsin

08-11-2007, 02:53 PM

I spend the day with my underwear on inside out at least once a month. What can I say - I'm tired in the morning. LOL

TX Sweetheart

08-11-2007, 04:10 PM

When I was a senior in high school, one morning I got half-way to school before I realized that I'd forgotten to put on a bra! Then when I got back home to get said bra, I realized I'd also forgotten to put on shoes!

MLA

08-11-2007, 04:53 PM

Oh, I have a good one that I forgot about:

The first winter we lived in NC, I got really sick. I blame this brainfart on that illness.

It was right around Christmas, and it was POURING down rain. I had to go get mailing materials and photo paper for Christmas presents, so I headed over to the Office Depot. The parking lot was ridiculously crowded, considering how bad the weather was, but I guess since it was Christmas everyone was out and about. So, I found a spot (about a million miles away from the store) and ran as fast as I could into the store. I had an umbrella, but it wasn't helping much. I get into the store and ask a sales clerk where I can find photo paper. She pointed me in the right direction. Off I went. Found the photo paper. Then I couldn't find the mailing supplies. So I asked another sales clerk where they were. Sales clerk says, "We don't carry mailing supplies." I was incredulous. I said, "Are you kidding me? You're an Office Depot and you don't carry mailing supplies?!?" The response to that? "Well, this isn't Office Depot. You're in Best Buy."

I was mortified. They're right next door to each other, and in my sick and wet stupor, I managed to go into the wrong place.

DH still loves to kid me about that one.

salysaturn

08-11-2007, 05:55 PM

lol MLA...I can see me doing this, yet being 100% healthy :)

I was cutting DH's hair today, and I remembered one I had a few mnths after I first started cutting his hair. He likes longer on top, shorter on bottom...army cut. I didn't have ANY guard on the blade(which I do to cut the sides, except for this one time for some STRANGE reason, I started smack in the middle of his head. He was bald :)

SunnyAB

08-11-2007, 07:58 PM

This just happened today. One of our hardware stores was having all kinds of sales and I was looking for a lazer level - when they have these extra special deals on things, they will often have the item towards the center of the store in bins (and there are ALL kinds of things stacked up and around. Well, I was intently walking around the displays, checking each bin if it had what I was looking for (not really paying attention to anyone around) I came around the corner and all of a sudden hear a fairly loud "we're sorry" I NEARLY said.. thats OK - I think I actually did say Oh... (thinking someone nearly bumped into me or something) and then the VIDEO continued with their sales pitch. :o :D

salysaturn

08-11-2007, 08:19 PM

Irish Elf

08-12-2007, 07:08 AM

I was outside this evening, spraying Roundup on the little weeds growing in between the brick path that outlines the perimeter of my inground pool. I look down and see a strange shape in the water....I say to myself "Oh my God. A SHARK!" Never mind the fact that A) I live a good hour + drive from the ocean, and B) Who has a shark in their POOL? (other than Kevin Federline, that is. )

The 'strange shark-shaped object' I saw was the reflection of an airplane flying overhead. *palm.slap.forehead*

I just read this and laughed so loudly. And now the little one is stirring...but OMG this has to be the funniest thing I have read in a while.

I'm probably laughing so hard b/c this is exactly what would have gone through my mind - and I live in TN!!!

My brain farts usually consist of looking for my glasses until someone takes pity and tells me they are on my head... except for the time they were on my face.

Standrea

08-13-2007, 05:26 AM

I'm always having brain farts. I'll have to think of a good one and come back in.

These are cracking me up!!

MrsBeckyLP

08-13-2007, 05:56 AM

BIL borrowed DH's bike in June, and we still haven't gotten that and the trunk bike rack back from them. When we sold our house in July, I asked DH how we would get my bike to the temporary apartment since the UHaul was already returned and we both drive cars that are too small to fit the bike. He looked at me like I was really dumb and said, "Duh. Ride it." The apartment is less than a mile away from the old house!

Fenway

08-13-2007, 10:24 AM

solongtogo

08-13-2007, 12:05 PM

This morning left house with young child on way to daycare, and then to work. Got halfway to daycare. Realized didn't have wallet with me. Turned around. Got home, went inside to find wallet. Realized it was in my back pocket the entire time. Headed back to daycare, now running late.

MichelleRenee

08-13-2007, 12:50 PM

I went to the store a few months ago to buy all of the ingredients I would need to make my mom's awesome meatloaf. I was so excited to start when I got home. That's when I realized I forgot to put one ingredient on my list.... ground beef!!! I thought it was the one thing I didn't need to write down.

KB57

08-13-2007, 01:05 PM

I posted this in the Really Stupid Mistakes thread, but it's a brain fart as well...

We had first moved to MD(now out), and I needed work done on my car. I took it to the dealership, and they told me 4 hours, and asked if I would like to go to the mall, about a mile away. I said sure, and they dropped me off at the mall, and I got their number so I could call them to pick me up. I shopped, and gave them a call. I told them I was all ready to go and said I would be at the Sears where they dropped me off. I waited and about 5 minutes later, a truck pulled up and slowed to a stop. I got into the passenger side, and the guy goes....what are you doing? I said, "aren't you here to pick me up?" I looked over and his friend was standing there.

I got out of the car real quick and ran back into Sears. I waited and when my ride came for real, I made him prove it

I did something kinda similar a few years ago.
My then BF (now DH) used to pick me up at the subway station after I got out of class, now mind you I worked an 8 hour day and then took evening classes, so by the time I was getting off the train at 9:30-10pm I was exhausted. At the time he lived at home so he used to alternate using his car and his mom's car. So I get out of the train station and walk towards a volkswagen Jetta (thinking its his mom's car, same color and all) and open the door and there's a strange man in the driver's seat that says "hey, you're not my wife!" I was mortified!

Then I see my BF up ahead a little further get out of his car (a Honda) and just shake his head at me like "you idiot!" lol...I'm just lucky the guy's wife didn't catch me getting out of her hubby's car...I might have gotten my ass kicked lol

Standrea

08-13-2007, 01:43 PM

OOOH! I remember one!

One day when I worked (So, at least a year and a half ago.), I was sitting in the office really upset because I had left my hair straightener plugged in and on. DH wasn't able to run home, so I had to beg and plead with my boss to let me leave.

I got home, and looked in the mirror. My hair was curly. I never even straightened my hair that morning! DUH!

lauren f s

08-13-2007, 02:30 PM

My mom just got home from a 5 week trip to China. She sent me a link to all of the photos from her trip. There's one of her standing in front of a wall. I kept wondering why she was standing by some random wall...it was the Great Wall of China :o.

In my defense, once I saw the pictures following the first one, I did realize what it was, but DH and my parents are giving me hell for it!

Niobe

08-13-2007, 02:47 PM

I wear glasses and have prescription sunglasses (that are huge and nothing like my regular glasses). When I left the house today, I put my sunglasses on and my regular glasses in the case in my purse. After walking a block, the sun came out and I reached into my purse, grabbed my glasses, and switched them. Then I wondered why the sun had just gotten brighter. Totally took off my sunglasses and put on my regular glasses. :rolleyes:

Oh, and probably my favorite brain fart ever. FH used to drive a fairly common green Grand Am. I borrowed it one day to go grocery shopping and when I came out of the store, I headed for the row I'd parked, walked up to an appropriate looking green Grand Am, unlocked it, and opened the back door. Went to put the groceries in and encountered a baby's car seat. :confused: I stepped back, looked closely at the car and realized it, obviously, wasn't my FH's. I looked around and spotted his car a couple places down the row. I had totally just unlocked someone else's car! :eek: I quickly shut the doors, locked it up (key worked fine), and hurried over to the proper car. I'm still curious if I could have started the other car with my key.