How many kids do you want? [Archive]

PookiePrincess

07-25-2005, 03:04 PM

DH was an only child and he feels he missed out by not having any siblings-

My FH is an only child and feels the exact opposite...he loves being an only child. He feels that he got all the attention he needed and most of the material things he 'deserved.'

I ideally would like 3, he would like 1. We will compromise at 2. (With help from his mom, who said we could NOT have just 1 child...I believe she only had 1 for health reasons.)

I asked him what happens if we have 2 girls...would he want to try for a boy? He said no, 2 is it. I guess we'll see.

LDS Angel 19

07-25-2005, 03:09 PM

DH and I had agreed to have four. Now, we're not so sure though.

solongtogo

07-25-2005, 03:15 PM

My first pregnancy has been quite terrible and I'm not anxious to repeat it anytime soon. We're gonna stay with 1. If I get pregnant again, so be it, but 1 is the magic number with us.

aligirl

07-25-2005, 03:19 PM

We're planning on 3. Jay really wants 3 :)

Toonces

07-25-2005, 03:30 PM

We've always said "3 or 4", but I'm leaning more toward 3 these days. :)

mel7dog

07-25-2005, 03:40 PM

DH and I are both from families with 3 kids.

He says only 2, I say I am willing to have 4 to get a girl (LOTS of boys in DH's family :rolleyes:)

Depending on how rough pregnancy is on my body, and how we are financially, I see us having 2-3 :D

Camdynlyn

07-25-2005, 03:45 PM

I want to have 2 and adopt 1 (I don't care when in life I adopt but I have always KNOWN I want to adopt) but Hubby said we can have 3 if we have our own. He really doesn't want to adopt, but I think he is warming up to it.

I think we will more than likely have 2 if we get a boy and a girl or 3 if we are trying for either a boy or a girl after having 2 of one. Does that make any sense??

marathongirl

07-25-2005, 03:45 PM

We're thinking most likely 2. I'm from a family of 3 and DH from 2. If we're in a good spot financially for three then maybe, but I'll be happy with two.

jennylou

07-25-2005, 03:45 PM

DH always said 2 and I always said 4 (jokingly, b/c I really wanted three). Now, after a major life changing event, I think we are leaning towards having a total of 4.

sublime311

07-25-2005, 03:47 PM

We would love two, but at this point we'll be MORE than happy with one healthy child.

caramello

07-25-2005, 04:22 PM

Ideally, we want two. We both come from families with two kids. I want it to be an even number when we go to Disneyland and I don't want someone to have to sit in the hump seat in the car (and I'm not ready to drive a minivan yet!). That being said, it really depends on my health and whether we get the little girl I've always wanted. :p

BooeyJ2

07-25-2005, 04:31 PM

DH and I are totally content with one, but who knows...maybe sometime 2-3 years from now we might consider another :)

Reenie

07-25-2005, 04:37 PM

If we get to choose, we want three. :)

tenofcups

07-25-2005, 04:39 PM

Ideally, I'd always wanted two children, but realistically we'll have one--if we get lucky since I'm now 42 and we're TTC.

moderngal

07-25-2005, 05:01 PM

just one

bciob22

07-25-2005, 05:49 PM

I only want one, however I already have 3 :rolleyes:

Actually when I was younger I wanted 7 :eek: Once I started having kids I wanted 2 and then ooooppps #3 showed up.

karlatta

07-25-2005, 05:58 PM

We both agree that we'd like 4. More than likely, some will be adopted and some will be biological.

HSSweethearts

07-25-2005, 06:20 PM

If all goes as planned, we agreed that we want 3 children. We want them close together in age so I estimate that I will be pregnant every other year for the next 6-7 years! :eek:

lady1297

07-25-2005, 06:46 PM

This has been neat to read. Thank you, everyone, for sharing!

AlisonCO

07-25-2005, 07:02 PM

Two will be plenty for me:)

onomatopoeia

07-25-2005, 07:10 PM

I want a boy and a girl. If the next one is a boy again, we may try for a 3rd. I was an only child and never babysat so having a child has been a big adjustment and I am not sure I will want a 3rd or not.

Sarah

07-25-2005, 07:32 PM

At least 4, maybe 5 or 6. :D

snowzilla

07-25-2005, 07:48 PM

We always thought we'd have four, but now that #3 is almost here, we've come to the realization that 3 is more likely how things will stay. So we're treating this baby like he/she is the "last" (which means he/she is going to be spoiled rotten, unfortunately, LOL).

However, I don't think we'll explore "permanent" means of birth control for at least a year, so we can see if we change our minds about a 4th. ;)

April1234

07-25-2005, 07:52 PM

4-7 children is what we decided on. DHs mom and dad BOTH have 9 brothers and sisters on each of their sides. We are TTC #2 right now..As soon as he/she is 6-8 months we will TTC #3 etc. :)

tracer

07-25-2005, 07:54 PM

We have always wanted 3. Now that we almost have 2 boys we will definitely have one more to try for a girl. If we get another boy, I am afraid I will be done no matter what!

2labradogs

07-25-2005, 09:23 PM

We are very content with our two boys. DH is open to trying for more after the boys get older, but right now I am pretty sure I am done.

littlebear

07-26-2005, 03:47 AM

I absolutely hated being pregnant, but we'll try for one more. After two, I am DONE even if I get a second boy.

ButterflyJen

07-26-2005, 05:40 AM

Always wanted three. Then we had DD (who is a high-energy child). Now I'm leaning towards 2. :) Two will be enough. Then they can't team up on us.

mamax2

07-26-2005, 05:48 AM

I want 3, DH wants 2. I'm pg w/#2 right now and if this baby is a boy, I think I *may* have a shot at convincing him to go for #3 - if he feels we're in a good enough spot financially in a few years. However, if this baby is a girl, he's already said absolutely not because he doesn't want to 'risk having 3 girls' :rolleyes: Ever since I was a little girl, I always envisioned myself as a mommy of 3 kids - 2 girls & 1 boy, so we'll see what happens.

tlew12778

07-26-2005, 05:56 AM

Ideally 2. Possibly 3 of the first 2 are the same sex... although I think 3 is a lot for us especially considering we don't plan on starting to TTC until I am 29-30.

My sister has 6 children of her own. She lost one of her DS at 6 months so she has 5 at home now. She also has 2 step-daughters. When they were all little (they span 10 years in age) her house was a total zoo. Her kids are all well behaved and everything but there was just so much going on all the time you couldn't even hear yourself think. While all of her kids say they like having so many siblings, they also all say they do not want to have as many themselves when they have children.

That said, her recoveries got increasingly difficult the more children she had (just as an FYI for those considering this many). She actually hemmoraged after the birth of her last daughter which prompted her to say "no more". She took depo for a while until her DH got fixed ;).

I am one of 4 and FH is one of 2. I don't think that this has a bearing on how many children we want.

Jane&Andy

07-26-2005, 06:24 AM

I'm one of 3 and DH is one of 6.

Ideally I'd like 4. I like having more than 1 sibling but with an odd number its easy for 1 to get left out (I'm the youngest by 6 and 8yrs so I was the one left out!). DH wants 2. His parents had way more kids than they could afford so he worries about finances.

So I'm hoping to convince him that we should have 3. But we'll just see how we feel after 2. If we have 2 boys then I think we'll definitely try for a girl. If we have 3 boys I'll give up. :p

jessied1025

07-26-2005, 06:30 AM

Ideally we would like 2 a boy and a girl. However if the first 2 are of the same sex we might try for a 3rd hoping for the opposite. :)

usafwife

07-26-2005, 07:03 AM

DH was an only child and he feels he missed out by not having any siblings

I was an only child too. I feel that I missed out by not having any siblings too. And now that I'm older, I definitely would like to have had a sibling.

We have talked about having 2. Ideally we would like the next one to be a boy since our first was a girl. We will see if that happens. If the next one is a girl, I think we will try for a 3rd. There are times that I'd like to have 3 but then I think that 2 is just fine.

Katie1

07-26-2005, 07:44 AM

I would like to have at least 4, maybe 5. I come from a family of 4 and it was the perfect number- even though the house was a bit crazy it is great to have a big family.

When I was younger I pictured myself with a huge family of 6 or more, but now that I'm finally starting a family I am not as interested in that idea. Our first baby is due in September and we'll see how I feel after that, and how easily I bounce back after the pregnancy. It's been pretty easy so far so I think I'll be okay with four.

Neen

07-26-2005, 08:07 AM

I always wanted an even number so I wouldn't be faced with a child suffering from the "middle child syndrome" BUT I have 3 and that's it. (it's a long story, but it's my ex's fault that I am no longer able to have any more!) I am happy with my 3 kids, they couldn't be better!

SiValleySteph

07-26-2005, 08:58 AM

We have one kid now. We may have another one. I'm really happy with one for now and so is DH, but DH is definitely set on having a second. We'll see how we feel in a a year or so. Right now we are both not ready for a second child.

I came from a family of 4 kids - all girls. To be honest, (as #3), I hate the feeling that I may have only been born because my parents were trying for a boy. I was named after my dad, so maybe they gave up after I was born. :p So many people have posted that they may try for a 3rd if their 1st two are the same sex. I just hope you really want to have a 3rd - boy or girl - when you do that.

linda_loo

07-26-2005, 10:09 AM

I was an only child too. I feel that I missed out by not having any siblings too. And now that I'm older, I definitely would like to have had a sibling.

Me three. We have 2 girls (3 yrs and 20 mo), and I am very happy to have given them a sibling. One of our greatest joys is watching them play together - it is fantastic!

tin roof rusted

07-26-2005, 01:03 PM

we want 2 kids.

LRL

07-26-2005, 02:03 PM

We have decided on three, but we have funny reasoning as to spacing. DH and I have both noticed that having children in different times in your life makes you appreciate them differently. Definitely a babys smile might be different to someone in their late 30's as it is to someone in their early 20's. So we have decided that two of our children will be close in age, and that one will be more spaced out- maybe 4-5 years. We have not yet decided if our baby due in Feb will have a sibling close in age, or if we will wait to have another for a while. Yes, we're weird for our crazy reasoning. Just for reference, DH is from a family with two children, and I am from a family with four.

julietchicago

07-26-2005, 02:34 PM

2-3. Right now we just pray for one, and we will go from there.

LexyLou

07-26-2005, 03:40 PM

I came from a family of 4 kids - all girls. To be honest, (as #3), I hate the feeling that I may have only been born because my parents were trying for a boy. I was named after my dad, so maybe they gave up after I was born. :p So many people have posted that they may try for a 3rd if their 1st two are the same sex. I just hope you really want to have a 3rd - boy or girl - when you do that.

I agree with this. I always feel badly when people say they really wanted a boy/girl. I wonder if their children know they should have been the opposite sex. DH's cousin has 4 boys and she always talks about how she wanted a girl. I know she loves her boys to death but I feel badly for the last two because she was obviously trying for a girl.

We probably will have three. I'll take any sex or combination. :)

DallasLady

07-26-2005, 03:51 PM

I want 2 or 3, DH wants 4 or 5. But since our reproductive organs are not exactly cooperating, we'll be lucky to get 1.

DisneyGirl

07-26-2005, 04:04 PM

I want threee and Dh wants ONLY 2. We ahve our two kids right now but If I could have my way and by chance DH agrees to #3(dought he will) I would love to ahve that baby when #2 is about 3-4 yrs old. But, If I only have the 2 I have then I'm very Happy and blessed.

Candy

07-26-2005, 06:13 PM

[QUOTE] DH and I are totally content with one, but who knows...maybe sometime 2-3 years from now we might consider another[QUOTE]

This is exactly how we feel too.
I'm warming up to the idea of another one though. We'll see.

EJM

07-26-2005, 06:39 PM

I'm one of 6 kids and DH is an only child. I don't think he's missed having siblings until spending more time with my family, so now he definitely wants more than 1 child. We'll see how it goes with the first, but we always talk about having 3 or 4 kids.

HGMorgann

07-26-2005, 06:41 PM

We would like 5 or 6. We love kids. i would like to adopt too....

Cat Bride

07-26-2005, 11:04 PM

dh wants 1, i want 2. we're talking about #2 right now so we'll see. DH's reason is financial, i just don't want DD to be alone.

RileyMom

07-27-2005, 08:31 AM

I definitely want 2. Originally we talked about just one, but I would really like to give DD a sibling. God willing, anyway. More than that would be more than I could physically and emotionally handle at my age (38). :)

T&M'sMommy

07-27-2005, 09:26 AM

twins run on both sides of my family and in his family, and because we only want two, we fully expect the next pregnancy to be twins.

I believe the twin gene is maternal related(I could be wrong) so its only you/your side of the family that might give you a set of twins. However it would be cool and if that's what you want, I wish you all the best :D

AusAshMommy

07-27-2005, 10:00 AM

I come from a family of 4 kids (me being the oldest with 1 adopted, the youngest) and my DH is an only child and was happy that way, never thought he was missing anything as an only child.

That being said, we have 2 right now and I was supposed to get 'fixed' after our DD was born, but when she was 4 weeks old I started having fleeting thoughts of a 3rd, which I guess stems from the fact that our DD was supposed to be a twin (long story won't go into it) So we've agreed that in 4-5 yrs when we're better off financially and settled where we're going to be for the long haul we'll have #3. Who knows we may have #4.

When we got married we agreed that we wouldn't have any kids period...obviously we shot that out the window and we're thrilled with the two we have and would love to have more :D

Chris'slady

07-27-2005, 10:02 AM

I want 3

Natasha

07-27-2005, 10:16 AM

Between the two of us, we each have a son, and a daughter o the way. unfortunetly, his ex is doing everything in her power to keep his son from us. So, if we never get more than minimal custody of FH's son, we may try for another in a few years...we'll see. I always wanted 6, but FH says no way, unless we win the lottery...

Jodi AKA BostonTeacher

08-25-2005, 06:08 PM

We definitely want a sibling for DH. We are both in love with the idea of adopting from China, and that was the plan for #2. However, we had such a great pregnancy/delivery experience that we can't wait to do it again.

Time will tell.

MMHinCA

08-25-2005, 08:35 PM

We definately want 2 and 3 if we are financially able to.

Allegra

08-25-2005, 08:35 PM

Holy Cow some of ya'll are brave!

It took ten years for me to say ok to having one. (the responsibility terrifies me!) DH has always wanted 2 or more. Now he says he's too old. (we're 38 - me, and 45 - him) I've told him the decision to have #2 (or more) is up to him since I made the call on the first one! :)

Allegra

Freckles

08-25-2005, 08:38 PM

I have always wanted 4 children, Hubby wants 3 MAX.
At this point, I would be thrilled with just one precious baby.

wagsgirl

08-25-2005, 08:43 PM

We've always agreed to have 3 or 4. I grew up wanting the Brady Bunch and DH wants 3. We have 2 right now, the youngest being 6 months old, and I already have the baby bug again...Realistically, though, we probably wouldn't TTC until this time next year when DS is 18 months.

DH came from a family of 4 kids (His mom says 4 is too many ;) ). I came from a family of 2. I love my brother to death, but sometimes I wished that I had someone else to play with/talk to...

Littlelamb11

08-25-2005, 09:59 PM

When i was in highschool, i wanted 8. LOL! Oh how naive i was back then about how much work it is to be a parent and about things like our finances and saving and paying for college educations.

Then i got older and ventured into reality. :p DH and I initially wanted 2 (or maybe 3). then we had DD. for 2 years, we were almost positive we wanted her to be an only. We really felt at the time that we wanted to give all our love to her and only her and we were really in love with our little family of 3.

Then we started to entertain the thought of giving her a sibling. DH was an only (although with step-sibs he never lived with) and i was the baby of 2. My sister and I have been through so much the past couple years taking care of my aging and now terminally ill mother. We lost our dad when we were in high school so our mom has become completely our responsibility. I can't imagine having to face this alone and i realized how that is what Annabelle could be doing in the future as an only child and us as her aging parents. Although we hated each other for most of our childhood, i'm so happy and blessed to have my sister in my life. We're such a big support for each other and we have been through so much. I can't imagine going through this alone and i would never want Annabelle to face something like this alone either. DH and I realized that something would truly be missing if we didn't give Annabelle a sibling to share her childhood and the rest of her life with.

So, here we are on #2 and we're 99% sure we're done. Although my pregnancy with Annabelle was easy and this one is turning out to be just as easy thus far, I really don't enjoy being pregnant and I'm looking forward to having my body back once and for all and closing the factory for good. :p

Lisa

08-26-2005, 05:07 AM

I want 4, Dh wants 3 but I think I'll win, I have just 1 sister and always wanted atleast one more

Hawaii2SJ

08-26-2005, 08:48 AM

I want 3 but DH says 2. Like a few pp we will have to see how financially stable we are. We're expecting our first baby soon and we both agree to try for another one by the time DS is 2.

suzubeane

08-26-2005, 09:04 AM

I believe the twin gene is maternal related ... Yup - not only that, but it's fraternal twinning only that's inherited. One egg dividing (identical twins) is considered a fluke, where the tendency to release more than one egg a month (and therefore the opportunity to conceive fraternal twins) is genetic.

(Mom's a fraternal twin, so I did my homework!)

/OT

Kristen78

08-26-2005, 09:13 AM

I would like 3. My DH says 2. He came from a family of 4 kids and I come from a family of 2 kids. The other day though he mentioned us having 2 more, so we'll see how it goes after this first one arrives. :)

LeslieR

08-26-2005, 09:17 AM

When I was younger I wanted 4. DH and I agreed on 2, maybe 3. But, after my labor experience and the reality of how much work one baby is, I swear I would be happy with just one. Of course, it hasn't even been 3 weeks yet, so it's still fresh in my mind and I'll probably change my mind later once I have some distance from it.

lml41981

08-26-2005, 09:25 AM

I believe the twin gene is maternal related(I could be wrong) so its only you/your side of the family that might give you a set of twins. However it would be cool and if that's what you want, I wish you all the best :D
No, it is definitely not what we want. We would like any possible future pregnancies to be singletons only...but if twins were to happen, then we wouldn't argue against it. Kinda late to turn back at that point. :p

Good to know his side doesn't damn me any further than my own, though. ;)

btw...I was supposed to be a twin, too, so there's a chance it won't happen to me. I hear it skips a generation. My mom miscarried my twin (vanishing twin syndrome?) at about 8-10 weeks pg and was about to have a D&C (seriously...they were wheeling her to the room to have it done) when the doctor rushed in and said, "Wait! You're still pregnant." I like to say I was a miracle baby. ;)

Koala_Gurl

08-26-2005, 10:43 AM

At least 2...but we haven't ruled out 3...

cgmom313

08-26-2005, 12:38 PM

I would want 3, but I think we are going for 2. For a couple of reasons. It took me a while to conceive #1 and my age 35 :( .

So since my DD is 5 months old. My dh and I are talking about starting to try after her 1st b-day.

dionysia

08-26-2005, 01:20 PM

1, possibly 2.

I'm an only child and have never regretted it.
DH is one of two and though he and my SIL fought like cats and dogs when they were kids, they are very close now.

Di

sandt8704

08-26-2005, 01:28 PM

I'm going to start with 1, but we'll probably have 2. I am 32, my DH is 39, so I'd like to wait maybe 3 years after my 1st is born to try for a second.

Both DH and I have younger sisters and we couldn't imagine life without them. I'd like my daughter to have a sibling, too :D

mlfallis

08-26-2005, 01:31 PM

Idealy we would like 4. Of course we want to make sure we have the finances to support them before we TTC at each stage. We are hoping they will be less than 2 years between each child. I am just worried they are going to be all boys but FH already agreed if they are I get a spa day once a month, so maybe all boys isn't all bad. :D

jules1025

08-26-2005, 01:32 PM

Right now we're thinking 3 children. However, I'm pg with my first child and reserve the right to change my mind after giving birth. ;)

ManteoChik

08-26-2005, 03:03 PM

We're both one of two children in our families. We've agreed that we want to have two kids. We've also both agreed that we only want to have as many kids as we can financially handle to spoil and give them everything that we had growing up. That being said I'm sure we'll have two kids.....and no more! lol I don't know that I could handle having more than two kids and I would never want one of them to feel left out.

Koala_Gurl

08-26-2005, 04:49 PM

So since my DD is 5 months old. My dh and I are talking about starting to try after her 1st b-day.

Is it bad that DD is 5 months, and I am already ready for another? I think I can hold out until DDs first b-day too! :)

wagsgirl

08-26-2005, 05:08 PM

Is it bad that DD is 5 months, and I am already ready for another? I think I can hold out until DDs first b-day too! :)

No, that's not bad. I'm right there with ya!! When my DD was born, I was ready for another within 6 months. My DH said "Let's wait until she's 1 to try...I got pg with DS when DD was 1 yr 8m after 6 months of trying. DS is now 6 months old and I'm ready for another!! We're waiting to try when he's probably about 1 1/2...

December27JJB

08-26-2005, 05:28 PM

We want 2. We'll start trying for #2 when DD is about 3 or 4 years old.

Dasha

08-26-2005, 06:14 PM

Given that I will be just past 39 when Baby C is born, that it took me 19 months to achieve a successful pregnancy and that this baby will be my husband's third child, we will not be tempting fate. So the baby that I am currently carrying is the only child I will give birth to, barring some miracle.

Dally

08-26-2005, 06:41 PM

I want two kids, but DH would prefer just one. We're going to talk about it when DD is one. I think I'd be fine just having DD--she's filled my heart so much--but I love having siblings, so it's hard for me to imagine DD's life without siblings. She doesn't have any cousins, either, and I don't think she will.

Of course, I'm 36, so I may not have a choice even if we do want another.

postkalidurga

08-27-2005, 04:46 AM

I used to babysit for a lady with four kids and decided I wanted five myself. Once I hit adulthood I think I wised up a bit. :)

I come from three, my Dh is an only. I could argue for any number of children based on the dynamics but I think ultimately we will have two kids. DH is a financial worrier (with very little need fortunately enough) and doesn't like the arguments against only children as he takes them personally. We have decided to wait until this one is here and about a year old before we make any final decisions regarding siblings.

smiles33

08-27-2005, 08:45 PM

I'm the eldest of 2 and DH is the eldest of 3. I'm leaning towards just 2 kids, as I want to stick to an even number of kids and 4 is just too many considering the cost of living in the SF Bay Area. I don't want just 1 or 3 because I don't want to have a lonely child (which my friends who are only children have mentioned before) and even with 3, one is always left out. I see how DH's middle sister is left out a lot since he's so close to the younger sister.

But, since we "have" to have a boy because DH is the only grandson to pass on the family name for the entire extended family, we could end up with more. I'm thinking we may just shell out the money for the "sperm sorting" lab service so we can try to get a boy if this current baby isn't a boy. Crazy, I know, but ultimately cheaper than raising another child.

kmmommy

08-27-2005, 08:58 PM

We originally said 4, but as we've had DS we decided 2 would be good for us. Twins also run in our families on both sides so we may end up with 3.

DH has 3 siblings and I have 1 full sister, 2 half sisters, 2 half brothers, 1 step sister and 2 step brothers. We are both in agreement that 2 kids is plenty for us. We have plenty of nieces and nephews to love too!