So sad to leave house

[shortcake]

I am feeling very materialistic and wrong about this but need to vent somewhere. :(

My DH just got a job he is really excited about in the Bay Area of California. The pay is only so-so, but the opportunities and day-to-day of the job sound great. My family lives nearby, which will be a HUGE treat after being away from them for the last 4 years.

However. We will be leaving our comfortable 4 bedroom home that we have put a lot of work into and fallen in love with, and moving into...who knows what. I'm not sure we can afford to buy anything at all. Our plan is to rent first and scope things out. But seriously, homes are basically twice what they cost here, and with two young kids we can't afford to put them in daycare and have me work so we are stuck on his single not-so-spectacular income. We are faced with the choice of either a small home in a less than ideal neighborhood OR a horrendous commute, if we buy.

I know I should look on the bright side and be thankful we will be near family, the job will be nice for DH, and even that we CAN afford to rent a decent place if we choose to just rent. It's just hard for me to give up what we have here.

Sorry, just really needed to vent! And if anyone else has done this kind of thing, would love to hear that you are glad about it in the end! :)

[MrsD108]

I lived in Virginia for a few years and loved my house there and was very upset when I left it to move back to Ohio. Ohio is home and where all my friends and family are. I had to rent a 2 bedroom home that was quite small but in the end it was worth it. I do own my home now with my husband after being back in Ohio for 6 years and the time has actually flown by. Time passes quickly and it sounds like in the future your family would be better off closer to family and a job that your DH will be happy at.

[shortcake]

Thanks MrsD - it's so nice to hear from someone who went through something similar and ended up in a home they are happy in! And of course there are all the positives with this move as well.

[laura]

I had a huge shock when we re-located to the Bay Area from Boston. We didn't have a house, but we had a huge apartment that we rented from my ILs (so fairly cheap-though w/ its share of crazy IL drama :p) and we could do whatever we wanted to it such as paint, fix up, etc. We bought all of our furniture, etc assuming we would move from there to our own comparable or larger home; moving 3000 miles to a place twice as expensive did not ever even occur to us until it was basically upon us. Fortunately my husband's job offer was phenomenal for him both at the time and in terms of where it has led him here, but still - it was hard.

I think it is good to be completely honest with yourself about the tradeoffs of what you are doing. I don't think it means it is a bad or wrong decision, but I think trying to tell yourself you aren't feeling those things would be much worse. Just wanted to let you know I can definitely commisserate on the sticker shock aspect!

[justHB]

When we moved from Pittsburgh, PA, to San Francisco five years ago, we gave up a brand new 1200 sqft condo with parking for a 500 sqft apartment w/no parking. We had to get rid of nearly everything and we were paying through the nose. It was tough, but it all turned out so well in the end. While I'm sure it'll be hard and stressful at first, the area truly is great to live in and I think after a time, you can and will be happy here.

[shortcake]

Laura and JustHB Thanks guys!

Laura - that must have been a shock if you were unprepared! At least I'm (we moved FROM there only 4 years ago - rent for our 1 bedroom apartment was only a couple hundred less than our current mortgage).

JustHB - Glad to hear it all turned out well in the end. I have seen pictures your beautiful loft (I think that was you) glad you found a home you love. We won't be living in the City, but we ARE looking forward to being in the Silicon Valley again, with all the things it has to offer.