Wedding gift to mail overseas?

[claire]

A dear friend of mine is getting married in Europe and I won't be able to make the wedding. I'd like to send her something more than a card, but I'm at a loss for ideas and they don't have a registry over there. I haven't seen her in over 6 years and meanwhile she moved to a different country, so I have no clue what she might need for the house.

Any ideas? It would have to be something fairly small and light that won't get damaged in the mail. Maybe I should just send cash, but it seems so impersonal.

[tlew12778]

Honestly I would not send a gift. What country are we talking about here? The postal service in Europe is not always very reliable and lots of stuff gets "lost" going through customs. Also, she could get slapped with a customs charge. Do not send cash. She would have to convert it and it will probably get stolen in the mail anyway.

It is very common in Europe to send telegrams for weddings. I know it sounds archaic but if you go to the website of the post office for her country, they will have something about telegrams and how to send them. As an American, I thought it was sort of neat.

Are you absolutely sure she has no registry? None of my family purchased off my registry bc they couldn't deal with the fact that it was all in Italian (which I couldn't help). I didn't really even tell them about it officially.

You could order off Amazon.co.uk. See if she has an Amazon wishlist. At least if the stuff does not arrive, they will send it again at no charge.

[Asha]

try to send something light (so you don't have to pay a fortune in shipping) and not too expensive (so you won't get too upset if it gets lost.) since you aren't attending the wedding and haven't seen her in 6 years, i don't think an over the top gift is necessary. how about mongrammed handtowels or monogrammed stationary?

[claire]

tlew12778, you are totally right about the unreliable postal service in Europe. She's getting married in Bulgaria but she lives in Madrid, Spain, which should have better service... Thank you for the amazon idea, I will check if she has a wish list; if not I'll just send a nice Hallmark card and lots of warm wishes. It's the thought that counts, right? A telegram is a really good idea too, they are more reliable and so much faster than regular mail.

Asha, thanks for the monogrammed towels idea, that would be good for mailing purposes. You're right, I don't need to spend a lot considering how long it's been since we've seen each other. But since we grew up together and write to each other a lot, I still feel really close to her. She couldn't come to my wedding either... the challenges of maintaining a friendship from afar.

[nettreefrog]

Friends of ours wired money into our account... Other friends sent interesting things that we couldn't find over here (in the US) -- like products for the home from France -- or kitchenware from Tunisia.

[Mrs. M.]

You could go with Amazon money. Or send Amex gift cheques. Or find a local place that does gift certificates (department store, museum restaurant, posh hotel brunch,... ) and have that shipped directly to her.

Not all countries do telegrams anymore. I don't know about Spain, but some countries over here phased them out a while ago.

[tlew12778]

Bulgaria has them but that part of the website is only in Bulgarian...

[claire]

Thank you all for the great ideas!

[claire]

Oh my... I googled some websites that send international telegrams. They are expensive!

First Class Telegram $29.95 + 0.89 per word in message

Think I'll just send a card via certified mail... I have another month to figure out the gift - I feel a mall trip coming on.

Interesting: Effective January 31, 2006, Western Union discontinued all Telegram and Commercial Messaging services.

[Larissa]

I agree not to send a gift at all because of shipping costs and customs expenses. They may bring up something they would be interested in having in the near future (I complained to a close friend about our lack of photo frames and she got us some) that you could order from a Spanish website and have sent to her.

[jajacobsen]

I definitely want to reinforce the customs issue. When I lived in teh UK, anytime I received a "carepackage" or gift from home, I got hit with a 30-40% of teh declared value as an import duty. Which means teh recipient pays it. Not very nice when its a gift. I would send an amazon gift card, or soemthing liek that. It can be used anywhere.

[AmyE]

Do they celebrate Christmas? How about a nice ornament? Something relatively small, light, but not too fragile or expensive. Bonus if it's something from your local area, and even better if it's flat and can go in a padded envelope. We have a brass cutouts of local landmarks or pine cones, for example. If you have one of those Museum stores in your local mall, it's a great place to look. Or on the web, of course.
Does she like to cook? Maybe a local cookbook from where you guys grew up?

Our German friends couldn't make it to our California wedding, and sent a lovely German throw blanket (fleece) that we use all the time.