Wedding Gift on a Budget

[udsweetpea]

I'm so sorry if this has been posted before. I searched but found nothing.

We're on quite the budget, and I need to come up with a wedding gift for next weekend. I usually spend $50 on wedding gifts, but since we're on a budget, I'm wondering if maybe I could make something. Do you ladies have any creative ideas?

Thanks!

[Sami]

To be perfectly honest, I would hate it if I received a "homemade" gift. Sorry. Maybe I sound superficial, but that's the truth! Probably before I got married it would have seemed ok to me, too, but trust me, no bride wants a homemade gift. In an IDEAL WORLD, everyone would stick to the darn registry (sorry, my own rant!)

Maybe you could go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and get a $50 gift card? Or just write a check? Or maybe a $50 gift certificate to a restaurant they can use for a date night?

The way I look at it, if you make something it's going to cost you something -- probably at least $20 in supplies. Plus, the cost of your time.

[May27JnJ]

I'd just get a basket that they could use somewhere in their house and fill it up with tissue paper and different kitchen things. Utensils, tongs, serving items.

[HeatherFL]

Well, this wasn't a wedding present, but for after the wedding I made my friend a collage collection of things and pictures that had to do with her wedding. You could do the wedding invite and engagement pics and other stuff like that. She has said of everything they got, she loved it most. :D (Of course she may have told everyone else that too LOL!)

You can sort of see it here. Hanging on the wall in their first apartment:

http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g230/HeatherJWFL76/MISC/collage.jpg

[HeatherFL]

Also, Swarovski (http://www.swarovski.com/index/) has some beautiful things! They have these cute little wedding bells (http://shop.swarovski.com/is-bin/INTERSHOP.enfinity/eCS/Store/en_US/-/USD/SW_DisplayProductInformation-Start?ProductSKU=02626792&CategoryName=020327137&ProductPage=0) for $40. You could write something about "rining in their new life together." There are a lot of other options starting at around $30. :)

~H.

[kk junebug]

if you're going to go the homemade-gift route, i would also suggest framing their wedding invitation.

we received our invitation matted in a nice, black frame from a guest who couldnt attend our wedding and it was SUCH a nice gift! very thoughtful.
we have it on display in our apartment. it's nice cuz we no longer have any invites, and its a nice keepsake!

[Nigellas]

but trust me, no bride wants a homemade gift.

No bride? *shrug* My DH and I LOVE the blanket that my aunt made us.

[May27JnJ]

I love homemade gifts. Go for it.

[jen]

Homemade sounds wonderful.
Everyone's suggestions have been great. I would much rather have a thoughtful gift than no gift at all.... it just shows that the person is thinking of you and wants to show a token of congratulations.

[singerwife]

[QUOTE=Sami;1330450]but trust me, no bride wants a homemade gift.[QUOTE]

That's not exactly true. I received a homemade set of placemats and napkins that I absolutely loved. I also received a homemade photo album, a quilted wall hanging, and some art by our artist friend.

Maybe it's true for some brides, but I really loved my homemade presents.

And the best present? This will sound made up, but it's true. A friend of ours was in grad school and broker than broke. When we would have her over for supper, we always seemed to serve pie. There were terrific conversations over the pie, and so I was thrilled to unwrap a bottle of wine with an OXO pie server strung around the bottle neck with a ribbon.

It was a nice reminder of good times, personal, and practical.

Is there some personal thing that you think the bride and groom might enjoy? Do they like wine? Books?

You could always look at Coldwater Creek's outlet section online. Sometimes, they have amazing throws/blankets for $20 or so.

[May27JnJ]

You could start a scrapbook for them. That would probably work really well if you know the couple and what they're doing for their honeymoon.

[fastlayne224]

I am the queen of budget gifts, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the hunt to find a great gift at the lowest prices. Do you have a Tuesday Morning store nearby? They have nice things at really low prices. Also, I go to some of the nicer stores, with high end merchendise and scour the clearance section. You would be amazed at the deals you can find. Just recently I got a Waterford Crystal Decanter set with a price tag of nearly $200.00 on clearance for $29.99. It made a great gift and fit my budget.

If you do decide to go the home made route, how about a cook book. Gather great tried and true recipes and helpful tips and put them in a great book or recipe box. I got one of those at my first wedding. It was probably my favorite thing.

Erica

[Medako]

I love homemade gifts. They're just so personal and take much more thought than simply buying off of the registry. (don't get me wrong, we loved getting stuff we registered for - but we also loved the things that were handmade especially for us).

As part of a wedding gift I'll be giving in the next few weeks I got a set of pyrex casseroles that were on the couple's registry (less than $15) and I'm etching their name in the bottom.

The larger one (9x13) says:

Lastname
Est. 2007

And the smaller one will just have their last name. I'll be able to do it all for under $20.

(it's a really simple process, if anyone is interested in how to do it, let me know)

[LyLMyssChaos]

I LOVE the idea of homemade gifts!! When I got married, one of my co-workers was in art school (and we worked at an ice cream shop) and was so a "starving artist." She made us this gorgeous pillow:
http://www.dropshots.com/photos/196116/20010101/000000.jpg

I love it because not only is it gorgeous, but she took time to make it!

We also received a hardcover copy of the book "Disney's Beauty and the Beast" with a personal inscription written in it. I cried reading the inscription because it really did touch home for us.

So a great gift doesn't have to be expensive. A wedding is a GREAT time to do something personal and unique!

[snowzilla]

A PP mentioned having the wedding invitation framed - I had this given to me as a wedding present and loved it.

However, the same gift-giver at a later wedding, giving the same gift (she did it for all in my group of friends, and we all love our framed invites and they hang in our homes) - told me that she had found out that it is supposed to be bad luck to give a framed wedding invitation as a present. :confused:

I've googled this and can't find anything (and I don't care anyways - I still love my framed invite) but has anybody ever heard of this superstition?

[SpelKen]

Medako,

Can you post directions? That's a great gift for a friend of mine.

[udsweetpea]

Thanks for all of the great ideas! I'm not sure I could actually MAKE something. I guess what I meant was putting together a bunch of items in a basket or something. All together it would be a great gift but each item would be fairly inexpensive. IKEA has kitchen gadgets for dirt cheap. Do you all think a big basket of kitchen necessities would be good or no? I keep asking her where she's registered but she hasn't answered so I'm not sure if she's already registered for kitchen gadgets.

Plus, do people bring actual gifts to the wedding? I usually only see the cards.

Thanks again for all of the great ideas!

[udsweetpea]

Maybe you could go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and get a $50 gift card? Or just write a check? Or maybe a $50 gift certificate to a restaurant they can use for a date night?


That would defeat the purpose of not spending $50.

[BethIrish]

I actually only bring a card to a wedding. If I were to give something tangible I would either have it mailed to the house or give it to them at another time. We usually give money.

I'm going to be honest and say that I would rather have a home made gift than a basket full of kitchen utensils I may or may not need. But, we (meaning my husband, cause he's the one whoe cooks!) are also rather snobbish when it comes to gadgets - he likes only the "best" and gets annoyed at sub-par stuff!

If you are going to do a basket of some sort, maybe make it "themed" and include food etc. How about seeing if you can get a nice spagetti bowl from Marshalls/Target etc and filling it with fancy noodles/sauce/spagetti server thing and maybe a inexpensive bottle of red wine?

eta: one of the nicest gifts we got at our wedding was a basket filled with goodies from a Marshalls type place. Hot Cocoa, cookies, snowman cookie plates, dish towels and a bunch of other "stuff." We were married in December, though. Maybe you could do something "summery." Or, if they are honeymooning at a beachy place - a beach bag filled with trashy mags (People, Maxim, Cosmo), suntan lotion, his-n-her flip flops etc?

[Medako]

to etch a glass dish...

*cover the bottom of your baking dish with contact paper.
*make a stencil of your text or design. (I use MS Word and just make it look how I want - size, font, etc. - and then once it's printed, trace the outline onto the BACK of the page. I'm sure there's an easier way, but that's how I do it)
*center & secure (with tape) your design page on the bottom of the casserole dish. (Make it to where it will read correctly through the bottom of the dish)
* use an exacto knife and trace the design. Remove design sheet and the contact paper from inside your text or design.
*rub etching cream over the contact paper and let it sit for about 5 minutes. Rinse off with warm water, dry, and remove contact paper.

It will be diswasher safe.

**etching cream can be found at places like Hobby Lobby and Michael's (don't forget to use their coupons!) with the glass art things.

[greenbunny]

I got a handmade quilt and a foil-embossed and decorated framed invitation, and they are my favorite gifts.

Wedding invitations and photos are always nice, but you could also do alternate photos. Maybe you could contact the parents and get copies of some childhood photos, and do a collage of both of them as kids. Or, if they got engaged somewhere special, do something related to that.

[May27JnJ]

I guess what I meant was putting together a bunch of items in a basket or something. All together it would be a great gift but each item would be fairly inexpensive. IKEA has kitchen gadgets for dirt cheap. Do you all think a big basket of kitchen necessities would be good or no? I keep asking her where she's registered but she hasn't answered so I'm not sure if she's already registered for kitchen gadgets.




I've done this for a bunch of weddings and it's a hit!! Put it in a laundry basket so they can definitely re-use it. Tissue paper and some ribbon and it will look great!!

[Medako]

Here's the casserole that I etched yesterday. It's sitting on the lid so you can see it a little better.

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i162/mom2jackryan/Picture002.jpg

[greenbunny]

Medako, that looks awesome. I have four weddings in a row coming up, and I think you just saved my Mastercard.

[Happy1]

We received several homemade gifts for wedding gifts and we love each one of them. We got:

-A knitted afgahn (made extra long so that my tall DH would be able to use it too)

-A small quilt meant for hanging on the wall with a quilted frame attached to the middle for us to put a wedding picture in (it actually matches our celestial theme in our bedroom)

-A CD from a friend of mine who was in college at the time. She put a bunch of love songs that she thought fit the relationship between my DH and I. I loved it because she actually put thought and time into it and I knew it was all she could honestly afford to give.

Nikki :D

[May27JnJ]

-A CD from a friend of mine who was in college at the time. She put a bunch of love songs that she thought fit the relationship between my DH and I. I loved it because she actually put thought and time into it and I knew it was all she could honestly afford to give.



This seems like such a small but absolutely wonderful gift! Wow. That must have been neat.

[Happy1]

Plus, do people bring actual gifts to the wedding? I usually only see the cards.

It probably depends on your social circle. At ours, gifts are always brought to the wedding. There's a specific gift table set up along with a card box. In other social circles, the actual gift is money thus where you see all the cards. In still other social circles, all the gifts are sent to the couple's house prior to the wedding (or after) so there are no gifts at the reception.

Nikki :D

[JennW]

There are tons of nice things you can make with the wedding invite. We got a shadow box type thing like that that we loved.

Another great idea I got for my shower was a first house kit (if they aren't already living together or don't have much stuff). You can include anything from cleaning products to around the house tools, etc. that are inexpensive. I think she filled the basket (wicker laundry basket) with stuff from the dollar store. We are still using the baskets and many of the things in it almost four years later! That may be difficult to bring to a wedding though.

We got a wedding cross stitch that we loved, too. Kind of a personal gift so maybe not if it's not a close friend/relative but a great gift nonetheless!

[Medako]

I can't take all of the credit. I saw it on Rachael Ray back before Christmas.

It's especially nice if the couple has registered for the pyrex (or whatever) because then you're still getting something off of the registry and adding a little personal touch without spending a whole bunch.

[justHB]

Okay, I'm probably going to get flamed for saying this, but if you're only planning on spending around $25, no matter what you buy, the people you're giving it to are going to know you cheaped out on them. Cheap kitchen gadgets are just that - cheap. And please, for the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT make something for them if you are not an artisan. My one friend who is a stain glass artist made a frame for our wedding invite and it was GORGEOUS and one of our favorite gifts, but she was a skilled artist. Another friend who fancies herself "crafty" made us a scrapbook of our wedding photos as a gift and it was quite possibly the cheesiest thing I'd ever seen. That old adage, "it's the thought that counts?" Yeah, I've only met a handful of people for who that was true.

Perhaps I'm more materialistic than your average bear, but a number of people cheaped out on our wedding gifts and it just made me think they (1) couldn't be bothered, or (2) didn't really care. We registered for a mixer and one of DH's family members bought us a $13 one on clearance at Target. We registered for a gorgeous vase at Pottery Barn and another family member bought us a "replica" (ha!) at Big Lots. I know they cheaped out and five years later, I still think they're cheap. Cheap shit is just cheap shit, you know?

I understand you're on a budget, but it sounds like the girl hasn't registered yet, which leads me to believe her wedding is still a ways away. Perhaps you could set aside a couple of dollars from each paycheck so that by the time the wedding comes around (1) you didn't really feel the pinch and (2) you've saved up the same amount of money you usually spend on people. Or, why don't you buy a really great, nice cook book (you can usually get them for around $24.99) and then buy one really nice kitchen gadget (maybe Kitchen-Aid, Calphalon, or OxO at Target?) and incorporate it into the wrapping of the present? You could spend less by looking at the Bargain section of Barnes & Noble and Borders - I've found some very decent cookbooks that are on sale for $16.99 and under (which I promptly snap up). You likely won't have to spend over $35 - $45 dollars, but you won't be remembered as the friend who got the cheap, crappy gift. I really think you could do it if you planned in advance and budgeted appropriately.

[May27JnJ]

If that's the case then just slap $25 in a card and call it a day.

[BethIrish]

I get what you're saying HB...theres a difference between being thoughtful and giving something you made (and that you are skilled at making) and being cheap.

FWIW, I like the cookbook and nice kitchen gadget idea.

[udsweetpea]

justHB I mentioned in my first post that the wedding is next weekend. Money's been tight since I knew about the wedding, and I thought I'd have more money to spend by now.

I know the bride fairly well, and I know she'd never think of me as the cheap friend. She knows money is tight.

[udsweetpea]

If that's the case then just slap $25 in a card and call it a day.

I was going to do that but thought it wouldn't be enough. I'm hoping to find a bunch of things on sale and spend $25 but hope the gift is worth $50 or above.

[jajacobsen]

I can see a lot of sides of this. I think what you relly need to do is consider teh age and "place in life" of teh couple. What do they erally need or want?

As a 39 year old bride marrying a 40 year old man, both of us had well-established households and kitchens, we didn't need more "stuff." His dad downsized at the same time and sorta dumped a lot of stuff on us. Two years later, we're still having yard sales. Literally. I think we are onnumber 4, and that is because it has taken us a lot of time to wade strough and sort out all the stuff.

A new couple just starting out may need sets of Christmas ornaments, kitchen stuff, etc. We certainly do not as we have about 12 bxes of combined Christmas stuff (on the list to be purged for the next yard sale).

I think Just HB was a ittle more tactful than Sami, but I agree with them. I don't need or want cheap stuff. I already have tons of that in my house. And I really don't want soemone's artistic intepretations or craft thing. I'm sorry, I'm picky and I don't like that sort of thing. If you are a professional artist, then yes I woudl love your picture, photo, or ceramic piece. But I already have my own scrapbook and have planned exactly how I want to memorialize my wedding. Framed invites we got, well the invite was taken out and the frame either used or (usually) went in the yard sale pile. Along with ameteurish ceramics, etc. Sorry.

That does not mean I only wanted big, expensive things. Not so! Because DH and I were very overwhelmed with stuff, really less was more for us. Our registry had a good range of gifts on it, from $4-250, and was selected to fill in teh gaps we had in our household stuff. Did we "need" anything? No, but peopel do liek to give gifts and we wanted to give them guidance. But let me tell you, a $25 gift card (especially to placed like Home Depot), or cash was much, much more appreciated than doo dads or gadgets. So much more so.

As we were older, we didn't need a lot of stuff but we were also paying for everything ourselves, so cash or GCs were really appreciated as we had little free cash for months (well, it's been 2 years and we're still tight due to home renovations). Maybe a young starting out couple would need more of the smaller ticket stuff and would want and really need it though.

That said, I LOVE the etched Pyrex that Medako posted. WOW! Especially of the bride registered for the Pyrex dishes I think it would be a really wonderful gift. I may use that myself!

[Hello Kitty]

I agree with HB and JJ, and I wasn't a materialistic bridezilla.

Friends bought us a mattress pad off of our registry for $15. It was something practical, something we wanted, and something we use to this day. I think many people understand that you can be a wedding guest on a budget. And to risk sounding like a mom, if they don't understand that, then you don't want to be friends with them anyway. ;) So if you don't have some crafty skill, don't sweat it, just give whatever you feel comfortable giving, and don't worry about trying to make it bigger than it is.

[greenbunny]

Now that I see what HB wrote, I realize my gifts fell in line with that. Everyone who gave me handmade gifts was incredibly talented, and one actually was a professional artist. My friend who made my scrapbook took over a year to do it, and it is incredible.

One inexpensive item we got that we love is a throw embroidered with a design incorporating our names and wedding date. It looks like the sort of thing you could get at Things Remembered.

[jajacobsen]

I agree with HB and JJ, and I wasn't a materialistic bridezilla.

Friends bought us a mattress pad off of our registry for $15. It was something practical, something we wanted, and something we use to this day. I think many people understand that you can be a wedding guest on a budget. And to risk sounding like a mom, if they don't understand that, then you don't want to be friends with them anyway. ;) So if you don't have some crafty skill, don't sweat it, just give whatever you feel comfortable giving, and don't worry about trying to make it bigger than it is.

Exactly! And even more importantly, don't sweat about it. Your frieds know you and liek you, and yes they will appreciate a gift, but I would have been horrified to think someone was stressing over a gift for me.

I was not a materialistic bride either, even if my post above sounds like I was. (I did not have ANY showers because I was previoslu divorced and because I really didn't think we needed more stuff so why agree to be the honoree of a party the sole purpose of which was to give you stuff?)

But, as we were paying for everthing ourselves, certain household things were neglected in the preceding years. Our towels became quite worn, as did our sheets. Let me tell you, the not very expensive but practical stuff that we had registered for (as in stuff we actually needed) was very, very much appreciated and as I registered for hosuehold items at Target, would fit most price ranges)

[Medako]

If this is a close friend of your's and you foresee your financial situation improving, would it be possible to give a nice card with a gift to come later? If this friend knows of the tight money situation, I'm sure they would understand.

I also like the idea of hitting up some department stores clearance stuff to see what you can get at great discounts. With new summery stuff coming out about now, it probably wouldn't be too hard to find some things being marked way down.

[tenofcups]

I don't have anything special in mind, but if you usually spend $50 and are willing to spend $40, you could buy at Bed Bath and Beyond or Linens N Things with their 20% off coupons. If you happen to see something on sale and use the coupons, you could go even lower -- and basically be getting the same things that you normally would for less money.

[bookworm]

If things are that tight, I'd get a nice card now then start saving $1-2 a week and send a gift within a year. I'm sure your friend will still appreciate it then!

[laura]

I'm with the "less is more" crowd. I would rather have something that I want/need which costs $20 than 25 things from the $1 store, KWIM? I don't agree with padding a gift to 'make it seem like more' b/c I think that defeats the purpose of gifting. If $25 is what you can afford to spend, then spend that on something either a) from the registry or b) something extraordinarily thoughtful. Alternatively, you could do bookworm's thing, or a variation where you give an IOU that says you will take them out to dinner at a later date - something like that. Or you could give them a $25 bottle of champagne + something homemade like baked cookies or something for their wedding night, or wine and cheese set up in their room, that kind of thing. I really could have used a snack, personally. ;)

[ejs]

I know you said you asked her where she registered and she didn't reply. (How she avoided the question in a conversation, I really don't understand, but....) Have you tried looked online for her registry? You know where she lives so you can figure out what stores are near her. When someone in our area gets married, I'll check the registries at Macy's, C&B, W-S, and Pottery Barn and I usually end up finding them.

Proper etiquette says that you do not take gifts to the wedding. You are supposed to mail them, usually prior to the wedding.

[udsweetpea]

I know you said you asked her where she registered and she didn't reply. (How she avoided the question in a conversation, I really don't understand, but....) Have you tried looked online for her registry? You know where she lives so you can figure out what stores are near her. When someone in our area gets married, I'll check the registries at Macy's, C&B, W-S, and Pottery Barn and I usually end up finding them.


I asked about her registry via email. And I've been searching online with no luck. Thanks for the suggestion though.

[am_81]

Okay, I'm probably going to get flamed for saying this, but if you're only planning on spending around $25, no matter what you buy, the people you're giving it to are going to know you cheaped out on them. Cheap kitchen gadgets are just that - cheap. And please, for the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT make something for them if you are not an artisan. My one friend who is a stain glass artist made a frame for our wedding invite and it was GORGEOUS and one of our favorite gifts, but she was a skilled artist. Another friend who fancies herself "crafty" made us a scrapbook of our wedding photos as a gift and it was quite possibly the cheesiest thing I'd ever seen. That old adage, "it's the thought that counts?" Yeah, I've only met a handful of people for who that was true.

Perhaps I'm more materialistic than your average bear, but a number of people cheaped out on our wedding gifts and it just made me think they (1) couldn't be bothered, or (2) didn't really care. We registered for a mixer and one of DH's family members bought us a $13 one on clearance at Target. We registered for a gorgeous vase at Pottery Barn and another family member bought us a "replica" (ha!) at Big Lots. I know they cheaped out and five years later, I still think they're cheap. Cheap shit is just cheap shit, you know?

I understand you're on a budget, but it sounds like the girl hasn't registered yet, which leads me to believe her wedding is still a ways away. Perhaps you could set aside a couple of dollars from each paycheck so that by the time the wedding comes around (1) you didn't really feel the pinch and (2) you've saved up the same amount of money you usually spend on people. Or, why don't you buy a really great, nice cook book (you can usually get them for around $24.99) and then buy one really nice kitchen gadget (maybe Kitchen-Aid, Calphalon, or OxO at Target?) and incorporate it into the wrapping of the present? You could spend less by looking at the Bargain section of Barnes & Noble and Borders - I've found some very decent cookbooks that are on sale for $16.99 and under (which I promptly snap up). You likely won't have to spend over $35 - $45 dollars, but you won't be remembered as the friend who got the cheap, crappy gift. I really think you could do it if you planned in advance and budgeted appropriately.

Ditto this.

[Kellie]

I 100% agree with HB.

[tlew12778]

Someone once posted either here or on WC this basket of candles gift. It had a poem and different colored candles for different events. I thought it was really, really nice, but I could never find that post again :(.

I would have loved it if someone had put a basket of snacks in our hotel room for after the reception. We were dieing of thirst and had to get room service to bring us water at 2AM!

A CD or a quick 1 hour print job of photos from the wedding would have been nice to take on HM too.

[udsweetpea]

Someone once posted either here or on WC this basket of candles gift. It had a poem and different colored candles for different events. I thought it was really, really nice, but I could never find that post again

I was thinking of that too! I think maplekitty posted that.

[AHammer]

Jeez, I usually don't like to be bitchy, but I am shocked at how selfish some people are! Why do y'all think that simply by getting married you have earned the right to be showered with expensive presents by people who might not be able to afford something nice? Maybe you've been rich all your life and you just don't understand that sometimes, to some people, $25 is a lot of money.

[laura]

Jeez, I usually don't like to be bitchy, but I am shocked at how selfish some people are! Why do y'all think that simply by getting married you have earned the right to be showered with expensive presents by people who might not be able to afford something nice? Maybe you've been rich all your life and you just don't understand that sometimes, to some people, $25 is a lot of money.

I think people are saying they would rather get something thoughtful no matter what the cost than a 'filler gift' that is just a bunch of stuff put together to make it look like it costs more than it did. I guess you can call that selfish if you want - to each her own. I don't see anyone who said a) they expect people to shower them w/ expensive gifts just b/c they are getting married or b) they've been rich all their lives. The OP asked for opinions and she got them. She doesn't have to agree with or like them, nor do you.

[AHammer]

I think people are saying they would rather get something thoughtful no matter what the cost than a 'filler gift' that is just a bunch of stuff put together to make it look like it costs more than it did. I guess you can call that selfish if you want - to each her own. I don't see anyone who said a) they expect people to shower them w/ expensive gifts just b/c they are getting married or b) they've been rich all their lives. The OP asked for opinions and she got them. She doesn't have to agree with or like them, nor do you.

I agree that "filler gifts" aren't always the best, but some people were implying that "anything homemade" or anything less than what was on the registry is utter crap and worthless. I just think it's rude to judge people or think less of them for getting inexpensive gifts, that's all.

[endymion411]

I agree that "filler gifts" aren't always the best, but some people were implying that "anything homemade" or anything less than what was on the registry is utter crap and worthless. I just think it's rude to judge people or think less of them for getting inexpensive gifts, that's all.

i agree with what you're saying. especially in reference to this...
And please, for the love of all that is good and holy, DO NOT make something for them if you are not an artisan. My one friend who is a stain glass artist made a frame for our wedding invite and it was GORGEOUS and one of our favorite gifts, but she was a skilled artist. Another friend who fancies herself "crafty" made us a scrapbook of our wedding photos as a gift and it was quite possibly the cheesiest thing I'd ever seen. That old adage, "it's the thought that counts?" Yeah, I've only met a handful of people for who that was true.

and this...
And I really don't want soemone's artistic intepretations or craft thing. I'm sorry, I'm picky and I don't like that sort of thing. If you are a professional artist, then yes I woudl love your picture, photo, or ceramic piece. But I already have my own scrapbook and have planned exactly how I want to memorialize my wedding.

just because someone is a "professional artist" doesn't mean that what they create is something that appeals to me or that i would want in my home or that they put any more thought into it than a "non-professional" crafter. (for me anyways)

[Leia]

I had a friend once who requested no gifts, so I had the idea to donate trees in honor of her wedding. Perhaps you could make a small donation and present the couple the certificate along with a small tree or large plant?

Or even just get them a tree (assuming they have a yard). I think that would be lovely - you could add some sentiment about it growing with them (or something equally sappy).

[AHammer]

I had a friend once who requested no gifts, so I had the idea to donate trees in honor of her wedding. Perhaps you could make a small donation and present the couple the certificate along with a small tree or large plant?

Or even just get them a tree (assuming they have a yard). I think that would be lovely - you could add some sentiment about it growing with them (or something equally sappy).

haha -- "sappy" -- good idea!

[Katy]

I'm with some of the gals on the artsy thing. If someone is good at something, then by all means, create away. Two of our guests were our photographer for our gifts. For my BIL's wedding, we were their DJ -complete with professional lights and speakers - for their gift (though I also threw the bridal shower and gave a gift then). I also think the idea of a donation to something they support would be a good idea - the good thing there, a price isn't listed when the organization sends the card (at least that's the case with the American Cancer Society).

Otherwise, I love the ideas of cookbooks. In fact, there's an entire industry in bridal cookbooks! (http://amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw/103-8387062-9193414?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=bride%2C+cookbook&Go.x=0&Go.y=0&Go=Go) and most are right in your price range. Personally, I go with books that have images or illustrations as well as other good info so it's more of a resource than just a cookbook. I know that BB&B sells some cookbooks too, so if you use a 20% off coupon you should be able to get the cookbook and a little something extra to go with it.

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/517Y2W0CNGL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg

http://g-ec2.images-amazon.com/images/I/41HANMZBA4L._AA240_.jpg

[udsweetpea]

I found out they're registered at BB&B, and there are some cookbooks on there as well as some kitchen utensils. And I have a 20% off coupon there. So, I'm thinking of doing up a basket of a cookbook, the utensils, and a bottle of wine. Is that ok? But then I'd need to give that to her before the wedding, and I probably won't be seeing her. Oh, etiquette rules ... grrr!

[Katy]

I wouldn't worry so much about the bring a gift to the wedding thing. It happens. We had folks bring gifts to our wedding in Vegas (including family), totally not thinking that we'd really have no way to get it back home. We ended up having some local friends carry it back with them and drop it all off a couple of days later. But it happens, and there's not much you can do about it.

Sounds like you've got a great idea. Good luck and have fun! FWIW, these silicone pot holders (http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=104417) freakin' ROCK!!!

[udsweetpea]

Oooh... I have those silicone pot holders! They're amazing!

Thanks for reassuring me about bringing a gift to a wedding.

[Katie&Micah]

So, I'm thinking of doing up a basket of a cookbook, the utensils, and a bottle of wine. Is that ok?

I think that sounds really nice!

[alisong]

I found out they're registered at BB&B, and there are some cookbooks on there as well as some kitchen utensils. And I have a 20% off coupon there. So, I'm thinking of doing up a basket of a cookbook, the utensils, and a bottle of wine. Is that ok? But then I'd need to give that to her before the wedding, and I probably won't be seeing her. Oh, etiquette rules ... grrr!A friend of mine gave us a nice cookbook plus a cookbook stand - that was a great gift!

[lady1297]

I think your idea is wonderful.

And I am loving the etched pyrex! I may just do that to mine so I get them back!! :)

But I do have to say that I think this comment:

Okay, I'm probably going to get flamed for saying this, but if you're only planning on spending around $25, no matter what you buy, the people you're giving it to are going to know you cheaped out on them.

Is just rude. I understand that a cheap gift may look cheap, but these people did what they could and what they thought they could afford. If you don't like it, take it back to the store and get store credit. I have some cheap candlesticks I got for my wedding from a friend of my dad's and I display them right next to my crystal and silver. I don't have a problem doing it because I know that the women did what she could and at least thought to buy us something. I think registries are crazy greedy if you think that you should only get what's on there for people. People have freedom and they have the freedom to chose a gift they want to give. Chill out and be thankful you got anything.

[Medako]

Okay, I'm probably going to get flamed for saying this, but if you're only planning on spending around $25, no matter what you buy, the people you're giving it to are going to know you cheaped out on them.

Then I guess I've both gotten AND given the short end of the stick. A $25 gift is perfectly acceptable if that's what you can afford. There are plenty of thoughtful gifts out there that don't cost $100+. Never once did I think that I was being "cheaped" because someone got me a less expensive gift than someone else. I was greatful for everything we got, even the less desirables. If it didn't suit our tastes, it simply went back to the store for credit. It's beyond greedy to expect anyone to spend a certain amount for a gift.


And I am loving the etched pyrex! I may just do that to mine so I get them back!!


This was exactly the reason for etching. How many dinner parties or pot luck type things have we all been to and never got our dishes back? There's no doubt who it belongs to when it has your name permanently etched in the bottom. :)

[myshel]

I found out they're registered at BB&B, and there are some cookbooks on there as well as some kitchen utensils. And I have a 20% off coupon there. So, I'm thinking of doing up a basket of a cookbook, the utensils, and a bottle of wine. Is that ok? But then I'd need to give that to her before the wedding, and I probably won't be seeing her. Oh, etiquette rules ... grrr!

I love this idea! I'm really into giving themed wedding gifts-- movie night, spaghetti dinner, pizza and beer, wine and cheese, etc.-- and I think your idea is fabulous!

[SingleWhiteFemale]

udsweetpea, if you're getting more than one item at BB&B, they do accept 20% off coupons on each item you buy. If you would like a couple more of these coupons, PM me your address. I know you're in PA and I'm in MD, so they'd get to your pretty quickly/by the middle of the week.

[udsweetpea]

SingleWhiteFemale Thank you so much for letting me know that and offering your coupons! I have a bunch I can use, but thank you anyways :)

[KrissyCat7]

I really like the picture that Heather posted. I think that is great.

Check out Marshalls or TJMaxx. Maybe you could find a really nice picture frame or even some photo albums.

Are you good friends with the couple? Could you put together a scrapbook for them? Or even start one for their wedding scrapbook...including their wedding invitation.

You dont have to spend a lot to have a thoughtful gift.

Another idea is to take a lot of pictures during the ceremony. And during the time between the ceremony and reception get the film developed at a 1 hr place (or digitals printed out)...and put them into a photo book. I would have loved that.

[PG-rated]

You can give the gift after the wedding if you won't see her before. We got a whole bunch of gifts in those first couple of months. Just make sure to have it to her before she packs the thank you notes away. ;)

[Katy]

I'm laughing about the $25 gift thing. The only $25 gift that I complained about was from a guy that didn't RSVP and showed up anyway with his MISTRESS :eek: and both were in jeans!!!! In that case, I think that his $25 gift was not only totally and completely lame that his actions were beyond rude. Otherwise, I just added every $25 gift card in with all the other gift cards and spent them :D

[EJH]

I love the candle basket idea..this is the poem

A basket of candles that come in a pair
In all different colors, for you two to share
The white ones burn first
They are wrapped in white lace
To celebrate your first married night
In your new chosen place.
The green pair is taller, and also much thinner
Burn with the first company you have over for dinner
The dark blue candles are for after your first fight
Use them to burn while making up all night
Pink candles set the mood and pave the way
For your first married Valentine's Day
Now, when your first year of marriage is through
the cream anniversary pair will light for you two.
Red candles aflame, both your futures are bright
Celebrate promotions you've worked toward with all of your might.
By this time we hope, maybe, just maybe
You can light the purple ones, on the birth of your baby.
And just when you thought you'd put these away
Take the light blue ones out for your fifth anniversary day.
Now just one more pair left for the big 25
The anniversary pair that will keep your love alive.
Congratulations bride and groom (enter names)
On the start of your forever
May the two of you always be happy together
And burn these candles
Just the way we said
But please don't forget - blow them out before bed!!

[Katie&Micah]

That candle basket idea is so neat! Does anyone have any pics of this?

[Fenway]

Jeez, I usually don't like to be bitchy, but I am shocked at how selfish some people are! Why do y'all think that simply by getting married you have earned the right to be showered with expensive presents by people who might not be able to afford something nice? Maybe you've been rich all your life and you just don't understand that sometimes, to some people, $25 is a lot of money.

I understand that a cheap gift may look cheap, but these people did what they could and what they thought they could afford. If you don't like it, take it back to the store and get store credit. I have some cheap candlesticks I got for my wedding from a friend of my dad's and I display them right next to my crystal and silver. I don't have a problem doing it because I know that the women did what she could and at least thought to buy us something. I think registries are crazy greedy if you think that you should only get what's on there for people. People have freedom and they have the freedom to chose a gift they want to give. Chill out and be thankful you got anything.

I completely agree with the above statements. I also despise the whole rule about giving a gift expensive enough to "pay" for your meal at the wedding. We invited you to celebrate with us, not to collect gifts.

I also love homemade/handmade gifts. But, I did receive that poem with a basket of candles, and I have to say, after being married for a year and a half, we have yet to use any of them. It is a very cute and thoughtful idea, but it isn't something we ever think of using. I think it depends on the couple.

ETA: I just re-read the poem. We are 5 sets of candles behind. :o

[AHammer]

I completely agree with the above statements. I also despise the whole rule about giving a gift expensive enough to "pay" for your meal at the wedding. We invited you to celebrate with us, not to collect gifts.

ITA that the "gift offsets the dinner cost" is kind of inconsiderate. If you invite someone who makes little money to a wedding that cost $100 a head, do you really expect a $100 gift from them when that's a huge portion of their monthly income? I know i wouldn't...

I don't want to pay for someone else's party. I want to give someone a gift because I'm happy for them!

[udsweetpea]

Thank you all for your input on this! I finally went out today and purchased the gifts. I had already had an unused basket and a bottle of wine, $11 left on a Macy's gift card, and 2 20% coupons for BB&B. Therefore, I was able to get a bunch of stuff without spending more than I wanted. I picked up the following from her registry- a Pyrex 1 quart measuring cup, Oxo Good Grips stainless steel measuring spoons, Cuisinart soft grip spaghetti spoon and regular spoon, 2 dish cloths, 1 kitchen towel, and a Rachael Ray cookbook. I put all of that in the basket with the bottle of wine, and viola! I spent about $47 :)

[Fenway]

Awesome!

I loved recieving that kind of gift where you get a bunch of the smaller things on the registery. Sometimes those things get overlooked for the bigger ticket items, but those smaller items are things you use everyday. KWIM?

[mrs_pell]

I think your gift is great! I'm sure they'll love it.

I also wanted to add that we had a ton of actual gifts at our wedding, and every wedding that I've gone to also has a gift table.

Okay, I'm probably going to get flamed for saying this, but if you're only planning on spending around $25, no matter what you buy, the people you're giving it to are going to know you cheaped out on them.

So incredibly rude...

[thedoorchick]

I also despise the whole rule about giving a gift expensive enough to "pay" for your meal at the wedding.
That's not a rule, it's an urban legend. That being said, I do agree with your general point.

[EJH]

Sounds like a great gift you pulled together. It's so hard to be strapped and want to do "right" by your friends for weddings. We were in a similar position last year and we had to get creative! Great job.

[endymion411]

Thank you all for your input on this! I finally went out today and purchased the gifts. I had already had an unused basket and a bottle of wine, $11 left on a Macy's gift card, and 2 20% coupons for BB&B. Therefore, I was able to get a bunch of stuff without spending more than I wanted. I picked up the following from her registry- a Pyrex 1 quart measuring cup, Oxo Good Grips stainless steel measuring spoons, Cuisinart soft grip spaghetti spoon and regular spoon, 2 dish cloths, 1 kitchen towel, and a Rachael Ray cookbook. I put all of that in the basket with the bottle of wine, and viola! I spent about $47 :)

great job putting the gift together!

[myshel]

Thank you all for your input on this! I finally went out today and purchased the gifts. I had already had an unused basket and a bottle of wine, $11 left on a Macy's gift card, and 2 20% coupons for BB&B. Therefore, I was able to get a bunch of stuff without spending more than I wanted. I picked up the following from her registry- a Pyrex 1 quart measuring cup, Oxo Good Grips stainless steel measuring spoons, Cuisinart soft grip spaghetti spoon and regular spoon, 2 dish cloths, 1 kitchen towel, and a Rachael Ray cookbook. I put all of that in the basket with the bottle of wine, and viola! I spent about $47 :)

This sounds like one of my "infamous" gift baskets! Great work!

[kk junebug]

i'm also commenting on the $25 comment, it's one thing where you know the person did all that they could and it's the thought that matters.
but it's also another thing when you KNOW the person has money to spend, and they still stiff you w/$50.
perhaps it varies where you live, social circles, etc. but it's considered lame when a person who is a fairly good friend & is NOT financially strapped & they either don't give anything...or give you a cheap gift......

[thedoorchick]

First $25 is too cheap, now $50 is too cheap? Sheesh.

What's that saying about how even though people have money, that doesn't mean you're entitled to help yourself to it? Or something like that.

[kk junebug]

First $25 is too cheap, now $50 is too cheap? Sheesh.

What's that saying about how even though people have money, that doesn't mean you're entitled to help yourself to it? Or something like that.

Again, i think it all depends on what's considered the "norm" for gift giving where you live...but yes around these parts (CT.) $50 IS considered cheap if it's from someone you know can do better than that.

shallow? in the grand scheme of things-perhaps, but that's just the way it is where I'm from and in my social circle. Especially when you go out of your way to spend atleast $100 on someone's wedding...and then that same couple doesn't give you anything? how can that not go unnoticed?

[thedoorchick]

$50 IS considered cheap if it's from someone you know can do better than that.
How can a person possibly know all the intimate details of another person's finances and make a judgment about what they might be able to afford?

[kk junebug]

How can a person possibly know all the intimate details of another person's finances and make a judgment about what they might be able to afford?

(this is just a specific incident from a friend of ours) but if you see your friend going on extravagant vacations to Costa Rica, and then buying a new SUV that's all pimped out...and then having him SHOW US a brand new bling-bling watch he just bought the night of our rehearsal dinner...you can't help but wonder WTF when you get his "gift".

he's been to weddings before, he knows whats the "norm" on gift giving in our circle.

now i understand people will read this and think, "greedy, much?". but i've already stated that this is the norm around my group of friends.

[Larissa]

Andrea, it sounds as though you put together a nice basket that included stuff off of her registry which just makes it all the better! Any chance of you posting a photo, I can never get gift baskets to look right but love the idea?

[udsweetpea]

Larissa Thanks! I'll post a picture as soon as I get back home on Thursday. It doesn't look perfect, but I did what I could with it :)

[jajacobsen]

I think it really depends upon the area and social circle. It seems to me, from threads here, on WC, and my own experience when I married someone whose family all lived north of tha Mason Dixon line, that especially in the northeast, there is an expectation that wedding gifts will be rather lavish. There is even the custom of "covering your plate" which iIhad never heard of before I ran across it on WC. I'm not saying the expectation of expensive wedding gifts is right ot wrong, as each social group defines its own customs.

Here is the South, things seem less clear. There is no "shower gift from registry; money for wedding gift" type of rule. People often bring gifts to the wedding reception, where often there is a table set aside for that purpose. There also seems to be less of a high $ expectation of gifts, or possibly that is just in my social circle.

I know I was blasted before for saying that I didn't want "crafty" things, but honestly I think that is a fair statement as that is my taste. I mean, the point is to try to get the bride and groom thngs which are their taste, right? As opposed to the taste of the giver? Or possibly I am confused as to the point of gifts being something which will please the recipient, not just the giver.

That said, I never expected expensive gifts and a considerate bride will have a broad range of prices in her registry. I would rather have a really useful $15 gift (like any of the OXO good grips stuff) than a $100 useless item or something that is completely not my taste (Victorian, Shabby Chic, cutesy things, etc... all fine but so not me or my DH).

I will say that if one is buying at the lower price range, it is probably wiser to stick to items off the registry, because then the giver can be assured that the gift is something the bride and groom truly want and can use.

It sounds like the OP was able to do so, within her price range, and I am sure the bride will be thrilled with the gift. Additionally, personalizing cookware, in the way that Medako posted with the etched pyrex ware, is a great way to add value and give a truly unique gift, without adding cost.

[jennylou]

I think $25 is cheap if you're buying gifts that aren't on their registry. If you are putting together a gift from the registry it's a different matter. In that case it's things that they want. Now, if a person merely goes to the dollar store, walmart or Target and picks up a bunch of random things, well, it may not be received well. For instance, we received a few gifts that had Dollar General stickers on them. Most, if not all, have not seen any use in our kitchen. It's not that I'm a snobby cook, either, they were just, well, cheap. If the same person had simply bought less and bought off of my registry, it would have been very appreciated. :)

As for homemade gifts, if you aren't crafty, I don't think you should be attempting crafy type gifts. We received a crafty gift that was hideous. I then had to display it in my home for fear of offending that person (who visited often and went out of her way to tell me the best spot to put it). I just took it down less than a year ago and am hoping it's never asked about again. ;)

[kris97]

While I make it a priority to appreciate all gifts, however much they cost, I do think it's important to recognize the vast disparity in typical wedding gifts among different social circles and geographic regions. If you look at the "What do you spend on a wedding gift" thread in this forum, you'll see that: in many parts of the country, 25-50 the amount people typically give for wedding gifts, whereas in New York or LA, the amount might be 5 to 10 times that. While some of the above posts might perhaps have been worded more tactfully, I do think this is an important thing to keep in mind: while we should all appreciate any gift, if you have 200 people at your wedding, and 199 give you gifts of a certain size, that one $25 gift card may be an anomaly.

[PG-rated]

Again, i think it all depends on what's considered the "norm" for gift giving where you live...but yes around these parts (CT.) $50 IS considered cheap if it's from someone you know can do better than that.

shallow? in the grand scheme of things-perhaps, but that's just the way it is where I'm from and in my social circle. Especially when you go out of your way to spend atleast $100 on someone's wedding...and then that same couple doesn't give you anything? how can that not go unnoticed?
I grew up and got married in CT, and we got gifts ranging in value from $40 to $1000. I'm sure some people at the lower end of the scale could've afforded more if they wanted, but I didn't think for one second that anybody "cheaped out" on us. I personally think you're giving the entire state a bad name with your whole "where I'm from" bit. Your particular group of family and friends clearly has opinions on what a wedding present "should" be, but they're unique to you, not to the area.

[laura]

I'm confused that you spent $47 b/c I thought you had said the point was to spend around $25 instead of your normal $50... ? And if you were ok with spending $50, couldn't you have just put that in a card? I mean I think what you put together is fine, it just seems weird that I thought the entire point of this thread was to spend less than you normally do, and then you didn't.

In any case, on the expectation issue - the CEO of my MIL's company (her boss) came to our wedding w/ his wife as his guest and didn't get us anything for a gift, not even a card. I find the lack of acknowledgement in rather poor taste, but otherwise we just had a chuckle about it and moved on w/ our lives. I mean what can you do? FWIW, he does have the money, he just doesn't believe in giving a gift for an 'expected' occasion. Apparently he is "famous" for it amongst people he knows, but MIL was still mad about it anyway. :p

[udsweetpea]

I'm confused that you spent $47 b/c I thought you had said the point was to spend around $25 instead of your normal $50... ? And if you were ok with spending $50, couldn't you have just put that in a card? I mean I think what you put together is fine, it just seems weird that I thought the entire point of this thread was to spend less than you normally do, and then you didn't.

Actually, it had to go on a credit card (which will be paid off at the end of the month) because I didn't have an extra $50 to give in a card at the time but I could pay for it when the money comes in at the end of the month. So, I didn't spend the $25 I originally wanted to spend. But my gift is worth $100, and I only spent $47, so I'm okay with that.

[ShamrockBride]

That sounds like a great gift to me. I'm in a similer situation this summer with several close friends, not to mention my brother is getting married too, and he and his FW gave us a very nice, expensive gift for our wedding two months ago. DH is going through Law School, and I barely have a part time job, so these ideas to make gifts off the registry more special are great. I'm for sure using the pyrex idea, as well as the candle basket. Maybe we could keep these ideas coming. I love them!

[Medako]

my suggestion is to watch for coupons and sales. There are deals out there, you just have to watch for them.

[pocket]

If you only want to spend $25-$30 I would go with a bottle of wine or champagne meant for their 1st anniversary. This will be quite a nice bottle of wine. Also, have you considered going in with a friend on a gift?

[mgrace]

I think your gift sounds great. If you put thought into the gift, whether it is homemade or purchased, the bride and groom should be happy to have such a thoughtful friend.

[kimthebride]

Your gift sounds great - I know I'd appreciate it. :)

And I just had to put this out there: I have friends and family with no money, and I found it neither tacky nor offensive when they gave me little or no git for my wedding. It was a gift to me just to have them share in my day. I truly mean that.

[mommy2allyandaveri]

I didn't read the whole thread so I appologize if someone has already suggested this, but what if you took their wedding invitation to Aaron Br. or something and had it frame with a nice mat or something. We got this as a wedding gift and LOVE it!!!

[allyray231]

While I make it a priority to appreciate all gifts, however much they cost, I do think it's important to recognize the vast disparity in typical wedding gifts among different social circles and geographic regions. If you look at the "What do you spend on a wedding gift" thread in this forum, you'll see that: in many parts of the country, 25-50 the amount people typically give for wedding gifts, whereas in New York or LA, the amount might be 5 to 10 times that. While some of the above posts might perhaps have been worded more tactfully, I do think this is an important thing to keep in mind: while we should all appreciate any gift, if you have 200 people at your wedding, and 199 give you gifts of a certain size, that one $25 gift card may be an anomaly.

I agree with this

Having said that it is a GREAT gift! You did a wonderful job and I am sure it will mean a lot to them.

[udsweetpea]

For those of you who wanted a picture of my gift basket...

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i178/udsweetpea/Tim%20and%20Theresa%20Wedding/002.jpg

It's not great, but I like it :)

[Sin Nombre]

Your gift shows a great deal of care and thoughtfulness, udsweetpea. I’m sure your friends will absolutely love it.

From my own wedding experience, I have to disagree that a handmade or an “other-than-registry” gift will be remembered negatively. I’m embarrassed to admit that while I greatly appreciated the extreme generosity of my family and friends, I can’t for the life of me remember who gave me the Waterford goblets (or how many), and who opted for the Noritake. Some gifts I received, however, are forever etched in my memory:

- My musician/writer friend, who constantly struggles to make his child support payments, writing a song for us and performing it at our reception;
- A gorgeous black-and-white photo album that arrived about a week after our wedding, capturing candid photos of us at the wedding;
- A shadowbox with our invitation, program and other small favors from our wedding creatively displayed, which is still hanging in my living room 5 years later;
- A card with $25.00 in it, from my favorite uncle of my DH. This uncle is a sort of aging hippie, who lives on a communal farm and has devoted his life to spirituality and doing good for his neighbors. He initially declined our wedding invitation, and we later found out it was because he was too embarrassed to attend because he couldn’t afford to give us a gift. We called him and begged him to come; that no gift was necessary, and offered to pay his travel expenses. When I opened the card and saw that $25.00 (which was probably all the discretionary money he had designated for the entire month), my eyes filled with tears at his generosity. I was fortunate enough to have opened many cards with $100, $500 and even $1000 checks in them, but I’ll never forget that $25.00 gift.

Personally, I don’t think location has as much impact as might be imagined – I had a Long Island, NY wedding, which certainly can be considered the epitome of “pay for your plate” country! Just my opinion, but I’ve always thought the concept to be ridiculous.

[Rose]

I think it turned out really nice Andrea!


- A card with $25.00 in it, from my favorite uncle of my DH. This uncle is a sort of aging hippie, who lives on a communal farm and has devoted his life to spirituality and doing good for his neighbors. He initially declined our wedding invitation, and we later found out it was because he was too embarrassed to attend because he couldn’t afford to give us a gift. We called him and begged him to come; that no gift was necessary, and offered to pay his travel expenses. When I opened the card and saw that $25.00 (which was probably all the discretionary money he had designated for the entire month), my eyes filled with tears at his generosity. I was fortunate enough to have opened many cards with $100, $500 and even $1000 checks in them, but I’ll never forget that $25.00 gift.

That's so nice!

[honeygirl]

Just wanted to add that I've seen gift tables at every wedding I've ever been to. I've lived in the Midwest, Northwest, Southwest and Hawaii.

[KiKi'sMommy]

One of the gifts I really remember probably didn't cost over 30 dollars. It was a wine bucket with a bottle of inexpensive wine and two wine glasses. It was simple, but very cool and thoughtful. I don't think that gifts have to be expensive to be meaningful.

[Medako]

We have a wedding coming up fairly soon and I've taken a look around the couple's registries and they're just a little on the pricey side. ($1700 mattress? dining room table and chairs? armoire? - yeah, that type of thing) Anyways, I think we might just get them a fairly nice bottle of wine.

I'm wondering if anyone has (or has seen) some type of poem or saying to tie on it giving the intention that it should be opened on their first anniversary. I wanna "foof" it up a little more than just giving them a bottle of wine. Make sense?

[jajacobsen]

And in fairness to a lot of soon to be married couples, I think that we as gift givers should NOT get freaked out when we see really pricy things on the registry, as long as there are items at all end of the spectrum. Although we did not do thins, I do know that some couples pleace really expensive items on the registry with NO expectation that the ietm will be bought as a gift for them, but rather that they will buy it for themselves, at a discount, as part of the registry completion program.

Sadly, we did not have out act together rnough to even think that far ahead.

[Asha]

that's a thoughtful gift, andrea.

I'm laughing about the $25 gift thing. The only $25 gift that I complained about was from a guy that didn't RSVP and showed up anyway with his MISTRESS and both were in jeans!!!! In that case, I think that his $25 gift was not only totally and completely lame that his actions were beyond rude. Otherwise, I just added every $25 gift card in with all the other gift cards and spent them

i admit we did complain about one $25 gift too, but it was a totally different situation than the op. we had a cousin and his wife give us a $25 gc to macy's. that wasn't the bad part. this couple both have very good jobs, and are well set financially. not to mention that dh got them a $500 camcorder for their wedding when he was a student on a graduate stipend. we didnt' expect exact reciprocation but a little more thought and generosity would have been appreciated. we would have been tickled if they had brought the damn camera that dh gave them and filmed our wedding.

we got other gifts in the $25 range, but we knew those guests were in a different financial position, so it didnt' bother us.

[udsweetpea]

As much as we'd all like to think our "well set financially" friends really are that way, they might not be so after all. Maybe $25 was really all they could afford, even if you think they could have afforded more.

[mkredhead]

I agree with udsweetpea. About four years ago, a very good friend got married. I attended the wedding with a card, but no gift. I felt like a total ass because on the surface, I was in great shape - good job, happy marriage, ability to take a trip with my mom. What no one knew was that all of my money was going to support my now former husband who had lost his job and was cleaning me out along the way to support his habits. I could barely buy gas to GET to the wedding, let alone a gift. He didn't come to the wedding - I said he was working, but he was actually at the bar. And my mom paid for the trip to get me out of the house.

You don't know someone's situation unless you're in it.

Subsequently, two years later this couple in question went on a mission trip. I pledged money to support them, equivilent to much more than I would have ever given as a gift.

[artist]

I think making a gift can certainly be a beautiful and meaningful gift.

However, I noticed you mentioned maybe putting together a basket of stuff. I MIGHT veer away from getting kitchen stuff if it's not actually off their registry however since they would then end up with doubles of things.

I recall getting a REALLY cool picnic basket filled with all sorts of great stuff for having a picnic! (Such as small tablecloth/placemat, little candle/candle holder, plastic wine glasses, wine, etc.) I think packing a picnic basket filled with goodies for a romantic picnic would be cool! Or, something LIKE that. For example, a basket of movie items (gift certificate to movie theater, popcorn, snacks, etc.). Or, if they have a house, gardening stuff. Or if they like to camp, maybe camping stuff. Something like that, and with a theme might be kind of fun!

[artist]

First of all, as for my previous post, I obviously missed the fact that you already did put together a gift! (BTW, I think it looks great!)

I think $25 is cheap if you're buying gifts that aren't on their registry. If you are putting together a gift from the registry it's a different matter. In that case it's things that they want. Now, if a person merely goes to the dollar store, walmart or Target and picks up a bunch of random things, well, it may not be received well. For instance, we received a few gifts that had Dollar General stickers on them. Most, if not all, have not seen any use in our kitchen. It's not that I'm a snobby cook, either, they were just, well, cheap. If the same person had simply bought less and bought off of my registry, it would have been very appreciated. :)

As for homemade gifts, if you aren't crafty, I don't think you should be attempting crafy type gifts. We received a crafty gift that was hideous. I then had to display it in my home for fear of offending that person (who visited often and went out of her way to tell me the best spot to put it). I just took it down less than a year ago and am hoping it's never asked about again. ;)

Gosh, I guess I disagree. First of all, I definitely do not consider a $20-25 gift for a wedding to be "cheap". I suppose others said that in their part of the country it is considered "cheap", but here in MN anyway, it is not considered "cheap". (Though I do agree it's pretty sad to give someone a gift from the dollar store and not even think to take the sticker off the item!)

I suppose I agree that it doesn't make a lot of sense for a non-crafty person to attempt a crafty gift, but I also think a crafty gift can be lovely and touching!

I find it very mateialistic that so many people on CC (either in this thread or in past threads here or on WC) are so focused on what wedding gifts they did not care for or that they think their wedding guests were too "cheap". People give what they can. To me it's not about the amount of money spent on the gift. I believe there were some people who attended my wedding who never did manage to give a gift. It really didn't matter to me all that much. I was happy to have those people at my wedding to share that day with me regardless of the gift they gave me or in a few cases couldn't afford to give me perhaps. As for the few who did not show up with a gift, I am happy they still showed up to the wedding as opposed to being embarassed about the lack of a gift. (Besides, I didn't know who gave us what until after our honeymoon when we actually opened the gifts!) When we did open the gifts, the homemade or not off the registry gifts were actually pretty fun to open because it broke up the monotony of opening up gifts that while very much appreciated, were things we already KNEW about since we chose them ourselves!

As for other people mentioning couples registering for outlandish and very expensive gifts, I know at least in the case of my wedding, we first of did NOT necessarily "expect" to get the big ticket items, but we also figured if we did, they were probably gifts that would be purchased by a group of people pooling their money together. However, I think the most expensive items on our registry were probably somewhere around $350-450. (As opposed to a dining room set, armoire, etc.!) We also had MANY much smaller and inexpensive things on the registry.

ETA:
Just to clarify, my comment is not just directed at jennylou, but at anyone in here who made similar comments.