I am SO SICK of my friends!!!!

[miaclear]

Our so called really great friends (husband and wife) have once again cancelled on us. They were supposed to come over tonight for drinks and conversation, real laid back. SHE was the one who wanted to do something. SHE was the one who emailed everyone today saying she needed some adult conversation (don't EVEN get me started on the kids topic). I didn't even want to do anything but felt bad for her cause she's stuck in her house all day with her son (she was recently laid off) and begs for girls nights practically every night.

And just now she had her husband call to say that she was sick and they were canceling. This is a common issue with them. If it's her not being sick, it's him, or the kid. I'm the one getting sick of it.

The best part of this story...tomorrow is their moving day. They closed on their new house over a month ago and have waited to move in till a convenient weekend for DH and I to help them. THEY waited six weeks because we were busy with other things and vacations to move into their new house. SHE did NOT ask if we could help them move. She asked "when is a convenient time for you to help us move?" Sounds thoughtful....well girlfriend...maybe we just don't want to help you move again. You damn well better be packed this time. Cause moving two houses into one in the middle of a Texas summer is NOT my idea of fun. And you damn well better feel better tomorrow!

Ok....got that off my chest.

(just adding that in her own way she is a really good friend)

[GeekGirl]

Hey, Zelda and I are having margaritas over in her rant post...care to join? There's plenty to go 'round! :D

[PG-rated]

Ah, this sounds JUST like the first "couple friends" we ever had in the city - they're always talking about how we should do something, but can never get their acts together to actually plan anything. We would often come home on a Saturday night to find a message on our answering machine saying something like, "Hey, guys! It's J and K. We're heading out for dinner and drinks and wanted you to come along. Call us in the next 20 minutes and we'll pick you up." :rolleyes: But when we would call them to suggest something a few days ahead of time, they'd agree, tell us they just had to "check the schedule," and never call us back. We stopped making an effort to see them months ago - they get invitations to our parties, but that's it.

[camberne]

I have friends like that, although it's generally only when it's not at their house. If we're supposed to do something where we have to drive over to visit, there's generally not a problem. But, if we decided to do something at our house, they're always sick. Not just our house, but other friends' houses. (So it's not an issue of being at my house, it's anyone's place but their own.) It's like they always expect everyone to go to them. Occasionally, she has been known to show up without him. However, he has (in three years time) only been to ONE event at anyone's house other than his. Everyone comments on it. And they don't have a big place, so it's not like there's a lot of room over there... so we can never get together with more than one other couple at their place. We still invite them, we've just stopped expecting them.

[BethElena]

miaclear - i helped my FH's coworker move...don't ask how i got suckered into that. this SINGLE GUY had more crap to move then I've seen huge families have! i ended up carrying boxes up to his 3rd floor apartment, only to open them at the top of the steps full of sand - yes, sand. He collected stupid crap like that.

I would do what some of the other ladies do - still invite them, but don't expect them. that way you won't be disappointed when they cancel.

[Kimberland30]

I feel your pain. We too have friends like this. It got to the point where I stopped planning anything with these two.

One constantly runs late. Like HOURS late. I once invited her and her husband over for dinner. Talked to her that afternoon. Come 7:00 they didn't show, and I called her cell and no answer. I ended up going to her house (right down the street) and she was freaking cleaning her carpets! She said "Oh, we can't come because DH is still working". Uh, couldn't call me and let me know? I was so pissed that I haven't invited them out anywhere since.

Another friend in our group always cancels. If we make plans in our out, she'll call that day with some mystery illness. Or headache. Or whatever. So I stopped asking.

Now if I want to go out with these two, I wait for them to call. It became an issue a few months ago (about me never making plans with them) and when I told them why, it made them realize that it wasn't all my fault. I'm just tired of waiting for them or them canceling.

[miaclear]

The moving ended up not being so bad. They had been staying at her parents for a couple months while they closed on the new house. So everything was already packed from that move. Otherwise I'm sure it would have been pretty bad.

Then that night she suggested again that they come over....and they did. We had a good time too.

While we were moving she mentioned that the night before (the one they bailed on) she ended up feeling better when her husband got home but decided to go our to dinner instead just the two of them. THAT is very typical of them.

[Boopy]

We have a couples friend like that. Actually, it was DH's friend originally and the four of us have now become friends. Our situation is a little different in that we live 6 hours away from each other now. So when we get together it's for a weekend trip or something. The latest incident happened in June when we were meeting in NYC for a long weekend away. About a week before they called to tell us they wouldn't be able to afford it. :mad: :( This was after months of planning, lots of phone calls and emails. We asked several times if everything was priced ok for them, like the hotel the restaurants. They said everything was fine with them. :confused: This wasn't the first time something like this has happened, but this was the biggest one. We've pretty much decided from now on we will plan an activity with them as if they are not coming and then if they do actually show up, it's just be a nice surprise!

[Brandles]

I've got a friend like that. There's always something that comes up at the last minute--or after the event. And she's always inviting me over to her house (1 1/2 hours away) for some kind of party: Tupperware, Longaberger, Creative Memories, Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple, Homemade Gourmet, Mary Kay, USBorn books. I was always worried that having one or two of those parties would be such an imposistion on friends and family! Um...I guess not. The last time she had a party, she made it clear that we were supposed to bring our DH's to help her DH build their deck! :eek: :eek: I didn't even dignify that invitation with an email.

We're meeting for lunch tomorrow...I'm half expecting her to cancel at the last minute!

[ShelbyMay]

We are "friends" with a couple like this. They are actually DH's oldest friends (from high school), and that's the main reason why I don't just write them off. We stopped calling and inviting them to do stuff. Now they call us a couple of times a month, make plans with us, and then don't show up. Okay, they show up about 25% of the time. They also don't bother calling either before or after the event to explain what happened. One time, they told us they were actually on their way to our house and then never showed up.

I finally got fed up recently and confronted them about bailing on us yet again. It turns out that she is pregnant and was sick. I am still mad that they didn't bother calling, but I felt like I would be the rude one if I didn't congratulate them and let it go for now. :rolleyes:

I also have a "friend" who only contacts me to invite me to direct sales parties. If I invite her to an event (where nothing is being sold) she doesn't even bother to rsvp and then doesn't show up or even mention the event ever again.

[shopaholic]

this is a reason why I don't choose to have many friends. Seems everyone always cancels/plans change and after a while I get fed up. Sometimes it better to hang out along then constantly have things change.

[Marie]

We have a couple like this. They cancelled on us three times in a row - on stuff that was planned weeks in advance because with their *busy schedule* they just don't have that many weekends open. Ok, whatever. We've stopped asking them to do anything with us but will still see them occassionally at group get togethers.

We obviously just weren't high enough on their priority list but hung in there because we wanted to keep them as friends.

[skyblu]

I read this thread earlier, and tonight, I immediately thought of all of you as this happened to me:

About an hour and a half ago, I was on the phone with an acquaintance (a friend of a friend) who recently came here from Chile. We were talking about the culture differences between South America and here (I'm from Argentina) and what we miss about our countries. We agreed that we miss the active social lives we had when we lived back home (both from big cities) and we lost living in the American suburbs.

So, she lives in the same town as me, and her husband is away for business. Since I had no plans for tonight, she suggested an impromptu drink/dinner at a nearby Cheesecake Factory. I tried to wiggle out of it, I was feeling lazy. Plus a full day of horrible heat in my non-AC'd car and an hour at the gym had left me pooped. She practically begged me, saying how she misses her friends and she knows nobody here other than our mutual buddy (who lives in NH, an hour or so away). So I gave in.

I hopped in the shower and, anticipating an evening at a fairly nice restaurant in our fairly posh town, I put on a skirt and nice top, heels, and a little makeup. I even put on perfume. She had asked me to call her on my way out, since she lives only 5 minutes from the restaurant. I did. I called and said "I'm ready to walk out the door".

Her response? "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm feeling kind of lazy and it's sooooo hot. Can we reschedule?"

Um, didn't I *JUST* say the same thing, and you begged me to change my mind?

I was forewarned that this chick is even flakier than the mutual friend we share (which is saying a lot), and I even jokingly thought, as I was getting ready, "Wouldn't it be funny if she cancelled on me? That would totally cement her flakey reputation!". Yeah. Not so funny, as it turns out. Now I completely lost my motivation to cook (which is what I was going to do before deciding to eat out), and I wasted time, energy, and sweat, not to mention makeup and perfume, which I had to take off 15 minutes later.

GRRRRRR!!!!!!

[acagreene]

I've got one. DH's best friend from high school and his wife were supposed to come to our destination wedding. They were all kinds of excited about it. He was supposed to be the best man. We bought tickets for the whole group of us and everyone was supposed to pay us back eventually. 2 months before the wedding, they suddenly decided they didn't have enough money to go....even though we offered to let them pay us back "whenever" and even though they had just bought a house - doubling their monthly housing costs, she quit her job and they got pregnant on purpose.... So we were stuck with two unusable, non-transferable airline tickets and no best man. My DH, being the kind of person that he is, sent them the tickets which they could trade in for another flight within the year. They never sent us the money for the (almost $1,000) and we have never spoken again. How's that for bailing?

[miaclear]

Wow! Bailing and out $1000. That's the shit :mad: