PDA

View Full Version : How can I hint for a 2nd shower?


Sare79
07-22-2005, 04:26 PM
I know the title may spark some contraversey, but I have a serious question. My FH has a big family that is *extremely* close. His aunts, uncles, cousins convene for dinner about once a month. I love these people a lot and want to include them in my shower guestlist. There are 16 of them.

When I made up my original shower guestlist- it came to 40 excluding out of towners. My MOH offered to have the shower at her apartment buildings ammenity room. But she has not heard anything back from the strata guy and she is just moving in there next month so the two messages she has left is starting to border on crazylady. My mom has a common room too, but it is small and not the best place to house 40 women unless we sit classroom style, which I am so not into.

My MOH told me at lunch today that the option she has come up with is to do an "around the clock" shower and literallybring people in shifts to her apartment. While I think it is amazingly generous of her to offer that, it means for hours her FH will be kicked out of the apartment, for hours she will have to be refreshing the food ( because the late shift people are not going to want food sitting out all day), and put tremendous amounts of pressure on herself, the other bridesmaids and me.

So, my foremost thought is to have another shower for Joel's side of the family. No one has offered, but everyone has asked when my shower will be. How do I ask/hint that it would be better to have a separate shower? Or a family one and a friend one?

I know that a shower is a privelege, and I do not mean to be selfish. I would really like to invite all of these people so I can see them before the wedding, not because I want presents from them.

PG-rated
07-22-2005, 04:34 PM
Well first of all, keep in mind that not everyone will come. If you invite 40, you'll probably only get 30. Second, I imagine that unless your MOH is very careful to invite people who know each other for the same shift, it will be very frustrating for the guests.
This might not be kosher, etiquette-wise, but instead of hinting around for a 2nd shower, maybe you could hint around for space. When people ask when your shower is, say, "Oh, MOH is still figuring it out because she can't get the common room in her building. Do you know of a good space we can get for little or no money?" Maybe someone else has a common room, or will offer to let you use their house.

maplekitty
07-22-2005, 04:54 PM
Sare....if you want....I will offer my house for your shower. We had 60 people at our housewarming and it all fit just nicely :)

When's the shower planned for?

email me.....

ejs
07-22-2005, 05:56 PM
If you see the people once a month, won't you already be seeing them before the wedding? Why do you need to see them in a "shower" situation?

If you really want to see all of these people, host a lunch for them at a restaurant. And make sure to tell them not to bring gifts because you emphasized that.

Sare79
07-22-2005, 06:23 PM
ejs- I meant in a social situation, not the big formal family meals that we go to. I like to think that perhaps Joel's cousins and I would be able to talk a bit more freely than we do at the dinners when everyone is gathered at the same table.

And, frankly, after paying for the whole wedding myself, I don't feel like buying everyone lunch and dinner. :rolleyes:

harness2be
07-22-2005, 07:05 PM
i had the same problem as you are having and i just checked into the churchs large room downstairs and it was free. don't hurt to check that out. if you or a family member is a member of a church it don't hurt to ask..