My family doesn't get along with DH

[strwbrygirl]

My family just doesn't get along with DH. I'm not sure if it's just that they don't "approve" of him, or just don't want to make the effort to have a conversation with him, but it ticks me off. He's not absolved of everything, either- when we're with my parents, he doesn't take the initiative to speak with them, either. If possible, I usually visit my parents without DH- it's just easier for everyone. However, definitely not the *best* solution. At this point, I don't think he's seen them since Christmas- every time I go up to visit he doesn't want to go or has some sort of activity (for which I end up making excuses). I know that my family is quietly glad that he's not there and that they "get me to themselves," but I think that ALL of them (DH included) are being selfish- and maybe I am, too. I've spoken to all of them individually and asked them to "make an effort"- find some common ground, etc, and Christmas was OK... we were all trapped in my brother's house in TX and had no choice but to get along. At this point, DH and I have been together for over 8 years-- so, I doubt that things will change much. I'm just sad because I have a great relationship with my MIL and wish that my parents and my brother and my DH would all become friends, at least.

Does anyone else have friction between parents/family and your DH?

[houseblend]

What a pain! My family doesn't outright disapprove of DH, but sometimes we wonder if they like him. When we were dating, long story short, but there was another guy I was friends with. My parents actually asked about this friend and asked me wouldn't we be a better match? My family isn't so emotional, so it is hard to read them, but DH always feels like they don't like him. Of course, it makes him not want to be around them since they make him feel that way. I say Screw It, and if they don't like it, Oh well. I bring him to all family events in hopes that one of these days they will grow to love him like their own son.

I'm not sure it helps anything by not bringing him around. Do you know the reason they don't like your DH? Maybe if you encourage your DH to start more conversations with them, then they will warm to him more?

[Rose]

I can't blame your DH. If I knew my IL's didn't like me I wouldn't want to be around them either. If it's your family that doesn't like them, and you can't get them to make an effort, things probably won't change much. Your DH would probably be a lot more comfortable if they made an effort.

If your last visit together went well maybe you can ask DH to extend an olive branch and just try one non holiday get together and go from there.

[Kristy119]

Oh my gosh I could have written that post word for word! I really don't have much advise to give other than to continue to talk to them and maybe get one side to budge alittle...
<<hugs>> I am in the same situation, my inlaws are wonderful and love both me and my daughter as if we had been born into their family. But my family is not so welcoming. Its sad really. I hope that you have better luck than I have had trying to get one or the other to meet in the middle. FWIW - I would try to take your DH to more things. Otherwise your family will never accept him or the marriage.

Good Luck!