Attention Span

[kimbers]

I just got back from a kindergarten assessment test for my 4.5 DD. She did fairly well on the test but I was there with her. She didn't want to go with the lady alone. Once she started to feel comfortable she started acting up, the lady would ask her a question and she would get all giddy and answer & then go on and on about something else. She was shy about certain things and not so shy about others. It was interesting to watch.

After the test, the lady told me she didn't think my DD was ready for kindergarten because her attention span was limited. She also thought the separation from me was an issue as well. DD goes to preschool now and rarely has a problem of me leaving her there, but she's been there for 2.5 yrs. The lady also mentioned that because we did the testing after her regular school time, she may have associated the time as "play time" not actual school time. So she wants us to come back in the morning later this week to retest.

My question is about her attention span. I know she has a short one. She doesn't always pay attention to what we say and do what we say. Sometimes I have to ask her numerous times to do something. At her current school (Montessori), the teacher tells me that she will sit to color with no problem but when it comes to schoolwork (writing, etc) she usually wanders around if she doesn't want to do the work. She ends up having to take it home and I have to sit with her while she does it. It takes so long because she lolligags & I have to keep getting her back on track.

So what can/should I do? Do I need to threaten her, take privileges away? Is this normal 4.5 yo behavior? Anyone else with experience with this?

[firefly]

i'd go with normal behavior. my 4.5 dd goes to montessori and when I'm with her she can speed through her math and language jobs to show me practical life.

When you dd is interested in something how long does she attend to it? 'I'd also talk to you dd and tell her what is expected of her. something along the lines of, Today is the day you go see your kindergarten, the teachers need you to do your best to see what jobs you need to learn there. If you act silly the teachers will not know that you are ready to go to Kindergarten (assuming she's excited about starting K)

Isn't attention supposed to be 1 minute per year of life until age 5 when it's double their age?

[southerner]

First of all, who's doing this assessment? This isn't for public schoool, is it? I'm skeptical about anyone who would spend what? an hour? with a child, then tell their parent that they aren't ready for kindergarten.

FWIW, I think this is normal behavior for children this age. When you say she "went on and on about something else," that sounds typical for this age, to me. They're just now developing a real imagination and often go on and on when they are learning to use it, even lying at times. I don't know other factors about her "wandering" behavior, so it's hard to say if her level of activity is normal or not. I wonder about her environment, when you say you have to ask her to do things several times at home. Is there a lot of external stimuli in the room when this happens? Also, does she do this when you only ask her to do specific tasks or is she like this w/ everything? Maybe she has no confidence in her abilities to do "school work" and wandering is her avoidance mechanism? Also, are the request you're making to her simple enough for her to process and follow through on? If you're asking her to clean up, wash her hands, and go get her fork and spoon right before dinner, then maybe that's too much for her to take in at once? Just throwing these random things out as food for thought, that's all.

There are a lot of things you can do with her to help her build her attention span. Find activities that interest her and make them into a project w/ a lot of different parts. It's going to be easier for you to get her to focus for longer periods of time if the task is something she's motivated by and excited about (as opposed to writing). For the non-preferred activities, you'll need to get creative to find ways for her to get excited about them. Is she only writing with a pencil/crayons/markers and paper? Does she get to do things like finger paint? Also, does she like having stories read to her? Would she listen to an audio tape that beeps when you need to turn the page?

[kimbers]

Thanks for the responses ladies...

firefly
something along the lines of, Today is the day you go see your kindergarten, the teachers need you to do your best to see what jobs you need to learn there. If you act silly the teachers will not know that you are ready to go to Kindergarten (assuming she's excited about starting K)

Regarding this, I had just made the appointment for the testing in the AM while she was at school. I picked her up & we went over there, so she was probably caught off guard. I have said something similar to what you suggested for when we go back this week.

Isn't attention supposed to be 1 minute per year of life until age 5 when it's double their age?

I hadn't heard this, but glad to know she sounds normal. She will hold her attention when we do fun things like games, cooking, wash dishes, etc. Things she enjoys.

southerner
Your right, it was a private school. We've been looking into in our kids going to a private school and I think all the ones we've looked at so far do this testing. This isn't my 1st choice of school but I took her because the test was free. I was also curious to see what they actually test for. The Director of the preschool was the one who tested her. After, she mentioned that the school was very academic and the kids needed to be very focused on their work.

I wonder about her environment, when you say you have to ask her to do things several times at home. Is there a lot of external stimuli in the room when this happens?

For the most part no, I ask her to pick up her toys, shoes, etc but it's while they are playing. She/they ignore my requests & continue to play. I guess that's my problem. I'm sure they don't want to stop playing just to pick up toys because I want them picked up right? I should be asking when they're finished playing or ready to go to another room. I just don't want to always be the one to pick up.

It happens at dinnertime too. Just last night while we were eating, she felt she needed to get up before she was finished to do something. I don't even remember what she was doing. My DH kept telling her she needed to sit & finish. He eventually gave her a timeout for not listening.

It's going to be easier for you to get her to focus for longer periods of time if the task is something she's motivated by and excited about (as opposed to writing)

I agree, she loves to play games & do other fun stuff and will sit still to do them so it's just a problem when it is something she doesn't want to do, like school work. How do I get her motivated to do that?

[Renrel]

I have a 3.5 year old so I don't really know anything. Take anything I say with a grain of salt.

But, she sounds normal to me. My experience and from what I have read, kids in general do not hear grown ups when they are focused on something else, like play. There attention is totally focus on what interests them. I think the Montessori theory even talks about learning how to discriminate between what is important stimuli and what is not, though I forget the age range (just read the winepidia report on Montessori last night, I could have this wrong.)

Most book I have read talk about the need to get your child's attention before you make a request/give a direction. Getting down to their level and looking making sure they are looking at you. I know this helps with my son, as does having him repeat back what he is supposed to do and what the conquence is if he does/does not do it (which may be a good or bad). I also notice that sometimes it is hard to get him to focus on me even when I am right in his face if he would rather not deal with what I want, and he in general has a very long attention span. (I can read him long books meant for 1st and 2nd graders and he does not lose interest. ) It is a matter of what he wants to be doing. He will build with tinkertoys for ages but anything with drawing/writing he loses interest after a short period, though this has been improving recently as he has started to take an interest in his own art work.

I tend to favor a preschool situation that allow children a lot of freedom to choose what they want to play with and for how long. I know that is not the philsophy of every school. If a school is going to required worksheet type activies then a willingness and ability to do things that you are not interested in for an extended period would be necessary to suceed in that enviroment.

To my mind, each child develops at their own pace and most will get interested in a certain kind of activity when they are ready for it. Until then they will try to avoid doing it. It is important to encorage them to try new things and to show them how things work, but I would not expect a young child to be willing to spend long periods paying attention to something that bores them.

Also think about how many times adults completely tune out a toddler who is standing next them them saying "daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy" (please fill in any name, this is not just a daddy issue) , over and over while daddy is engaged in a stimulating adult converstation. I have watched this so many time (with very good attentive involved parents as well as those who are less so) and the parent seems genunually suprised when they look down and see this rather patient young person at their feet trying to get their attention. So adults too have trouble listening at times if they would rather being doing something else. And how long can you watch Clifford the Red Dog or the Wiggles before you wander off to do your own thing or start daydreaming.

[southerner]

After, she mentioned that the school was very academic and the kids needed to be very focused on their work. Luckily, this Director was honest with you. So, think about what this may mean for your DD in the long run. If you think their expectations are going to be too high for her, then I'd really encourage you to take that into consideration. Also, Directors of preschools don't necessarily have to be very experienced or educated. Just sayin.
For the most part no, I ask her to pick up her toys, shoes, etc but it's while they are playing. She/they ignore my requests & continue to play. Giving her a transition warning will be helpful. "In five minutes, it's going to be time to clean up for dinner." If you have a timer or something, the auditory cue will be an added support for you. Also, maybe you could make cleaning up into a game. One more thing, think about the amount of stuff you're asking her to clean up. If it's a lot, then she may feel overwhelmed by the amount of stuff and have a hard time deciding where to start (adults are just as guilt of this!). You helping her will make it seem like a less daunting task. Or at least getting her started will.
I agree, she loves to play games & do other fun stuff and will sit still to do them so it's just a problem when it is something she doesn't want to do, like school work. How do I get her motivated to do that? I'd start with not calling it school work ;) Work is not something adults even like to do, so you have to make it fun and interesting to her. Also, earning a break in the middle might motivate her. I'll be honest though, I don't think you should be forcing her to do this stuff at this age. She has umpteen years ahead of her to learn this stuff, she'll get it in time. You have to be careful not to make her resent "work" at such an early age or else you'll have bigger problems on your hands down the line. Think of what happens when she feels she's not good enough, not working hard enough, not sitting long enough, etc. I'm not saying that you're telling her these things, but those are the feelings she gets when she's being forced to do something she doesn't want to do, fussed at for walking away, corrected if she writes her letters out of order, etc.

HTH!

[Asha]

how old will she be when she starts kindergarten? children change a lot from 4 years to 5 years. her attention span will most likely improve as she ages. i have worked as a teacher from grades prek-6, and there is such a huge difference in the maturity of prek students and kinder students. anecdotally, i also exclusively taught first grade for 2 years, and i noticed a huge difference in attention span between the children who were pushed into kinder early vs the children who were put into kinder at a later age. it doesn't sound like your daughter will be going to kinder early if she is 4.5 now.

[kimbers]

Your responses have really helped me to think about this. Thank you all for your input.

I'll be honest though, I don't think you should be forcing her to do this stuff at this age.

I don't think I should be forcing her to do this stuff either, but if she doesn't do it in school don't you think I should be having her finish it at home? It's mainly writing her alphabet. She needs to know this for when she starts kindergarten. I don't want her to think she never has to do homework either.

southerner-
I do understand and agree with what you are saying about her having all the time in the world to do all this stuff. I think my DH is the one who seems to be getting on me for not "pushing" her more. I'll slowly bring up some of these points to him & hopefully it will help him see that too much pressure is not a good thing.

Asha-
She'll be 5 in August