Opinions please

[chloechloe]

Okay so I am 5 weeks from my due date and still have not made plans for the birth plan. I realize if I am GBS+ it would be a definite hospital birth but I don't know that yet. So here are my options and I would love to hear your opinion on them.

1. Hospital birth with early discharge. The con being DD can not visit, due to visitor retriction and she still nurses twice a day and won't see the baby until after we get home. She will stay at my mom's house.

2. Home birth with DD here, and my new babysitter. That way if DD wants to see me she can and the babysitter can keep her busy. Would the babysitter be too freaked out?

3. Home birth and have my mom pick DD up and keep her until the baby number two. My mom can not be told about the homebirth and we would call after. But DD wouldn't see me until after the baby is here.

[ignutzz]

Given your concerns and stress regarding this birth, it seems homebirth would be a good option for you. I admit to a full-on, vehment bias towards homebirth though, :D so bear that in mind.

Even if you are GBS+, it does NOT preclude you from birthing at home. If you have a midwife, depending on the state, she can administer anitbiotics (if you want them). Additionally, there are steps you can take to get rid of the GBS, or, if you still have it at birth, reduce your infection risk: Article about GBS (http://www.mothering.com/articles/pregnancy_birth/birth_preparation/group-b.html)

If YOU are comfortable with having your daughter with you while laboring, I would keep her at home. I'm not sure if a regular babysitter would be a great option though, unless you talk to her about everything in advance. More importantly, will YOU be comfortable and at ease with this person in the house?

Do you have friends nearby that are homebirth friendly that could watch your daughter?

[jennylou]

Are you sure that your DD can't visit you in the hospital? Seems cruel to keep a child away from their mother....

[Tenny]

Are you sure that your DD can't visit you in the hospital? Seems cruel to keep a child away from their mother....

That seems weird to me too..

Another option I thought about and I'm not sure what kind of health care provider you have. But can you go to a birthing center? I know a lot of birthing centers allow and actually encourage family to be with you. If that was the case DD can be there with you or she can go spend time with your Mom if the labor is taking a long time. They can come and go as they please depending on what time of day it is and how you feel about it.

Good luck with what ever you decide!

[PinkMartini]

I don't understand the difference between option #1 & #3 :confused: Either way your DD won't be around until after your 2nd DC is born...

[pocahontas]

My mom can not be told about the homebirth and we would call after. Uh...I'm confused to (albeit not about the same thing as PinkMartini.) But WHY can't your mom be told about the homebirth...is it a secret? :confused: Just wondering...

[Toonces]

Uh...I'm confused to (albeit not about the same thing as PinkMartini.) But WHY can't your mom be told about the homebirth...is it a secret? :confused: Just wondering...

I assumed it's b/c her mom doesn't like the idea of a homebirth. I know if I had wanted to do that, my mom would've given me a really hard time.

I'd keep your options open. You have 3 choices now. Do you have to make a decision now or can you wait and see how your labor goes before you choose something definite? You know how L&D goes and it's hard to plan something definitive. Regarding the early discharge... the hospital where I delivered had a "rule" that newborns couldn't leave until 24 hours after birth. For DS that would've meant leaving at 10:40pm. So my OB gave me the go ahead but the hospital wouldn't let DS leave until 10:40pm. :rolleyes: Needless to say I stayed with DS in the hospital. You might want to see if your hospital has any rules like that.

[chloechloe]

I wouldn't tell my mom because she is a panicky kind of person. And if she were here during my labour, she would be all weepy etc. I have some time to think it over and decide on my best choice....

[boilermaker]

Based on both this post and your other one, it sounds like your hospital and their staff is not ideal for you. If you think you can handle a home birth, I'd start seriously looking into all the options and requirements for that. As for your older DD, if you want her at your house for the birth, I'd talk to your doula or midwife about babysitting options. They may be able to recommend someone who would be able to handle a home birth without a problem (maybe someone who has done it before or even a second doula).

If you do decide to go with the hospital, do you only have one option? Can you look into any other hospitals in the area? I do think it is a little odd that your DD wouldn't be allowed to visit. All the hospitals around here allow the siblings to visit no problem, just no other children. Also, if you do go with a hospital, it sounds like you could really use a birthing advocate. Someone who will stand up for you when you can't. There is no way I would have let a nurse take my blood while I was using the bathroom. She could have waited. But if you didn't feel comfortable or able to insist on that, you need someone at your side who will.

[bluebunny]

I would go with the homebirth. Based on your other post, it sounds like you would be more comfortable in your own setting (as would I!). Have you looked into birthing centers? Do you have a midwife? I would have someone keep DC1 at home. Do you have a close friend or neighbor who could keep her?

[LexyLou]

Are you sure DD can't visit you at the hospital. I know other children aren't allowed, but I'm pretty sure siblings are always allowed.

[blondegirl]

Ditto what pp's have said - My husband was allowed to bring our other kids up the hospital anytime he wanted when DS was born.