Which appointments for DH?

[pugzy]

My DH probably won't be able to go to all of my doctor's appointments due to work, so I was wondering which appointments are the best ones for him to go to?

He came to my first ultrasound at 7 1/2 weeks, and my next appointment is at 13 weeks. I was told this is going to be a super long appointment without an ultrasound but with the hearbeat. Do most people bring their DH's to this one? I realize that this is all a matter of opinion, but I'm just curious what other people do.

[jennylou]

My DH usually only makes it to one or two appts - and they are typically an u/s appt.

[Chelsea524]

If he's not able to make it to all of them I would try to have him there at least for the first time you get to hear the hb and the big u/s, the rest are all about the same things and usually pretty quick

[Ericka_Jarett]

My DH came to the 1st u/s (14 weeks) and the 20 week u/s with our daughter, we never had more appt after that (she passed at 24 weeks)

With our son we had a 6 week u/s and he was there for that one. Then he took off for the 20 week u/s which was suppose to be a level 2, they made a mistake and did that at 18 weeks instead. So he still came to the 20 week u/s and then every appt after that since I had an u/s every 2 weeks for the next 14 weeks and I couldn't drive as I was on bedrest.

[Katie&Micah]

I'm only 21weeks.. so I can't say for sure. But so far dh has only been to my 20 week ultrasound. I just asked him and he said he might go to 1 or 2 more to listen to the heartbeat, but that's about it. The appt. are so boring right now I can't imagine why he would want to be there.

The husband of one of my friends went to every single appt. during her last pregnancy. Of course he also goes to all her gyno, dentist, regular dr. appt's too. So obviously that's quite different than how we do things.

ETA: My dr. is only doing 1 u/s on me as long as there are no complications. If we had more he would definately come to those.

[lauren f s]

My DH came to all the appts where we had an u/s (3) and for the first time we heard the heartbeat. I had an u/s at 28 weeks, when I also had my GTT test, and he came to that. Even if I hadn't had the u/s at that appt, I'd have asked him to come along to keep me company for the hour of waiting. All the others are all so quick, I didn't see a point in him coming unless he really wanted to.

Sometimes, though, I'll arrange my appts for early afternoon and he'll come along to those and then afterwards we'll go out for lunch so we can have a little alone time before we pick DD up from preschool.

[RobynScott]

The husband of one of my friends went to every single appt. during her last pregnancy. Of course he also goes to all her gyno, dentist, regular dr. appt's too. So obviously that's quite different than how we do things.

Wow! My DH has been to all of my pregnancy appts but I don't take him to any others.

I told him he doesn't have to come to the routine appts - but I guess as long as he's able to, he wants to.

He's been to the u/s as well so if he has to miss an appt in the future that will be ok. (but I admit it's nice to have him there ;))

[wonderousglance]

DH only went to my 1st appt and our 20 week u/s appt. He isn't planning on attending anything else until the birth. :)

[Katie&Micah]

wonderousglance
My husband jokingly asked me if it was necessary that he attend the birth. :rolleyes: I told him that since he attended the conception he also gets to attend the birth.

[PinkMartini]

My DH wasn't at all interested in going to any of my dr appts either :rolleyes: He could've (I could've made them late enough for him to attend) but really, all I did was pee in a cup, get weighed, BP checked and that's about it. Last year when I was pregnant with my DS he came to the big U/S at 17 weeks when we found out he was a boy. Now that I'm pregnant again, I'm making him come to my appt next week, when we should be able to hear the hb for the first time and of course to the big U/S again....

[Sarah6690]

DH came with me to my first appt where they did an u/s. Then I was referred to maternal fetal medicine because of my quad screen results. He came with to those 2 appt which were both u/s. And will be coming with to my 30 week appt which is another u/s. That will probably be it unless they do any more u/s.

[blondegirl]

With DS and DD, DH only went to the big u/s appt. Not a single other appt.

[LexyLou]

With DD, DH went to almost all of them because at our Dr. in CA we only went in the very beginning to ensure viability and then at 12 weeks, 18 weeks, 24 weeks, 28 weeks, and then monthly until 34 weeks when it was every two weeks.

This time it's a monthly appointment and it's in and out, so he's only gone to the first one and the u/s. I think when we get further along and there is more to see/do he'll come to more.

[Rico'sAlice]

Well, my experience is maybe not be directly relevant but I'm gonna share it anyway.

My Dh has come to all of my appointments but 1. I have found that the ritual of going to the appointments together has been very important. It gives us a space where we really slow down and totally focus on our baby. However, all of my appointments are at least an hour long and we don't have to spend anytime in a waiting room. Generally we talk through emotional issues relating to the upcoming birth, ideas about how he can be supporting me during the PG, exercises to do, etc. So, it's not like he just comes to watch me pee in a cup and have my blood pressure taken.

We didn't have any US or doppler & by the time we could hear a heartbeat, we'd already been feeling fetal movement for a while. So there was no one "big appointment" for us.

[Cali_Katy]

Both times my husband has only come to the 20-week ultrasound. I had an ultrasound at 31 weeks this pregnancy that he would have attended, but he was out of town.

[whitlockan]

DH has only missed about 2 of my regular OB appts and 1 peri appt. All my OB ones have literally been 15-20 min long, nothing super intense. Peri on the other hand were 30-45 min Level II sono (w/4d) so he came to every one of those, they were every 4 weeks due to SUA (Single Umblical Artery).

Maybe its just our area but whenever he couldnt come I was literally the ONLY preg. lady in that office that didnt have her husband with her, it was a wierd feeling, were talking at least 10 pregos at a time in there too.

[nuhmah]

DH only went to my first, the 20w u/s, and then we had to have another u/s at 32 weeks due to some kidney complications.

[jesseybell]

DH came to almost all my appointments, but we have different circumstances in that we work together and before the baby we were commuting together, so it was just as easy for him to come with me and then go to work together. Plus he has a very hard time getting time off of work so I think he used it as an excuse to be out of the office (anything baby related his boss doesn't say a thing). There were definitely appointments where I felt bad for him being there because there was more time spent in the waiting room and in the exam room than with the actual doctor.

Who knows what we'll do next time since we won't be commuting together any more. I like him going with me, but it will be harder.But he'll definitely go to the first few and any ultrasounds. Then at the end I'd like him to be there.

[allyray231]

my husband came to them all- I made them after work so he could come.

[daisysue62]

With my DD my Dh came to all but one appointment (it was a boring routine appt and he was at home waiting for the new laptop to be delivered). The reason he was able to make all of them was that he was in grad school and my midwives clinic was 2 blocks away from his school and he was able to walk over without any problem (we had only 1 car at the time).

With this pregnancy Dh will probably only come to a few appointments since he works an hour away from my midwives clinic. The appointments he will come to he'll work from home that day and drive the 20 minutes into town for the appointment. Oh, and he'll *definitely* be going to our one and only u/s at 20 weeks. He's really excited for it. I'll probably ask him to come to one of the later appointments (32 weeks or so?) to talk about our birth plan since he's an integral part of it. I will not be giving birth unless both my husband and a huge tub are present :D

[amew]

I'm almost 17 weeks. So far my DH has been to my first appointment at around 7 weeks (which included an ultrasound) and the nuchal translucency ultrasound we had for the first trimester screening at around 12 weeks. He has offered to come to the other appointments, but I didn't see any reason for it. He will definitely go to the 20 week ultrasound and probably to one or two of the later appointments, but we haven't really talked about it.

[spps]

With DS my DH came to the level 2 u/s, two regular ob visists soemwhere in the middle, and then what turned out to be my second to last appt where my BP had skyrocketed and my last appt the following morning to see if it had come down enough to avoid induction (which it hadn't :( )

This time he hasn't come to any appts so far, but I needed him to stay with DS who I did NOT want to bring.

[karlatta]

DH went to all of my u/s appointments, but nothing else.

We had three ultrasounds at the RE's office before 10 weeks, and he came with me to all of those. Then he came to the big u/s at 18 weeks. He probably won't ever even step foot into the OB's office, unless I end up with unforseen complications.

[jessesgirl]

I might be in the minority here, but my DH comes with me to all my appointments, except for the one that I had last month that was last minute. He is really excited at the idea of being a daddy and just wants to be really involved with the pregnancy. I have no problem with that, in fact I appreciate his support.

[Alanna]

my dh went to the first one and then all the ulrasound ones (i had 3) and then also he went to my GTT testing ones (luckyme got the 3hr twice!) he mihgt have gone to some routine ones sprinkled along the way too... especially at the end...

I liked having DH at the first one.. they take a lot of personal medical history and family medical history... it helped having him there to supply his side... i also thought it was good to have him meet the M/W and see where I was going so he would know what i was talking about when i was relating stories about later appts.

[andrew&shannah]

To date, my DH has come with me to every appointment. He plans to attend all of them provided he is not on travel (unlikely) or anything. I am really glad he wants to and is able because it's nice to have someone there even if they are quick pee in a cup type appointments.

[snoopy30]

My DH came to the first appt. and then the ultrasounds. I was fine with him not being at the others since they were fairly uneventful. It's totally though up to you and him and what you'd like.

My doctor did however ask that my DH be at my 36 week appt. since that's when she went over when we should go to the hospital if I'm in labor, etc.

[Asha]

it would be nice if he could, but his work hours are crazy, and he doesn't have the type of job where he can just leave for an hour or two to come to an appt.

he did come to the big u/s appt, and i am sure once the due date looms closer, he will come to some of those appts too. he will also attend any childbirth/nursing classes that i take.

[emmjay]

For #1 he came to all of the u/s appts, which were the first one at 8 weeks, the nuchal translucency u/s, and the big 20 week one. He also came to one of the very last ones when I was past my due date because I knew my OB was going to bring up induction and I wanted to be sure I didn't cave in and agree (I told him beforehand to NOT let me say yes! ;) ). We also did a 10 week Bradley childbirth class together, and he came to the infant safety class and hospital tour.

For #2 he'll probably come to the same u/s ones again (no classes this time around). I'm hoping he won't have to come at the end again - I'm keeping my fingers crossed that #2 won't show up at 41+ weeks like #1 did!

[Cali_Katy]

This time he hasn't come to any appts so far, but I needed him to stay with DS who I did NOT want to bring.

Hah, that's a different thread altogether. My DH, as I said, has only been to the ultrasound appointments, but my DS has been to almost every single one! :p

[shaqangel]

I guess we're in the minority too since my dh came to all my appts. (and my 6wk check up too!) he chose to come cos it was something we were doing together and he liked being able to chat with the doc and get to know him as well. we scheduled all our appts to were he could attend. even with ds doc appts he goes to all of them.

if your dh cant make it to all - i would definitely say go to the u/s ones and were you hear the h/b.

[KiKi'sMommy]

My DH came to the first appt., any ultrasound appointments, and anything after 30 weeks. I started to have blood pressure issues with my DD at 35 weeks and I was so glad he was there when they sent me to Labor and Delivery (although I was released the same day). I started have blood pressure issues this time around 29 weeks and he has been going with me every since.

[stevesbabygirl]

My DH has gone to all of my appointments so far. I have one in a week that is just for bloodwork and the GTT, so he won't be going to that one, but I have an appointment one week later, and he'll be there.

[jenji]

My DH wants to be there for ALL of my appointments. I have told im it's not necessary, but I'm really excited that he wants to be there. He travels a lot for work, so he may not be able to make it to all of them, but I'll try to schedule around his business trips.

[Wrighty26]

My husband came to my 12, 20, and 40 week appts. The majority of my appts were - as you all described weight, pee, bp, and baby's hb. At 12 weeks we heard the h/b for the first time, at 20 weeks we had the u/s and at 40 weeks he came because he was off of work and I asked him to drive me b/c I felt uncomfortable. It's a good thing he came to that last appt b/c we decided (together) to opt for induction. Although -- maybe I would have been more inclined to say no if he wasn't there!

[wendalah]

My husband would like to go to my very first appointment, which is in a week. I told him he's welcome to come, but he doesn't really need to (it's at a horrid time in terms of rush-hour traffic).

[DianeCourt]

My DH came to the first appt., any ultrasound appointments, and anything after 30 weeks.

Ditto here, except we did after 36 weeks when the appts. were weekly. I can't imagine dragging him to all of those "other" appts. where I was in & out of the office in 15 minutes and things were routine.

[KeliAnn]

My husband went to the first ultrasound (10w) and the gender-revealing ultrasound (20w). I think that'll be it for him until it's time to go to the hospital.