pProm-Need Advise for a Friend

[Tenny]

I have a good friend of the family who's water broke two days ago at 18 weeks. She went to the Dr (high risk) and they told her that there is no hope and that he was pushing her to got to L&D to have the baby last night. He also told her that she can have an D&E if that is what she decided, but there is no way the baby will make it.

I find this unbelievable. I went online and read lots of stories where that wasn't true. I'm so angry with her Dr for not giving her all the options, he is pushing her to terminate the pg. She is so torn over what to do. He is telling her she is putting her life at risk if she tries to continue the pg.

Please does anyone have any good links for me that I can show her that there are other options other then terminating? Also does anyone have a good high risk Dr that will give her ALL the options in the Philly/South Jersey area?

As of last night the baby still had a heartbeat.

[LDS Angel 19]

Yikes. How scary, and how sad that her dr. is being like that. I've heard lots of stories about PPROM on various message boards, and while it's a near miracle, positive outcomes are possible.
I "know" Sully130 here on CC, who had PPROM around that time, and was on bedrest for about forever (I think nearly 20 weeks) and ended up with a healthy son. Maybe she'll see this thread or you could PM her.
Best wishes for you friend, keep us updated.

[moderngal]

I liked the high risk docs at Jefferson in Philadelphia, particularly Dr. Berghella

[Tenny]

I liked the high risk docs at Jefferson in Philadelphia, particularly Dr. Berghella

Thank You I will have to pass that one to her!

LDS Angel 19 I just wish her Dr would give her all possible outcomes, just not the negative ones Wow, Sully130 is an inspiration to us all!

And for anyone else that may read this I found this great website about PROM

http://www.kanalen.org/prom/

[ceaserbride]

I have no advice but just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking about your friend and the babe. They are both in my prayers

Please keep us updated!

[Tenny]

ceaserbride Thanks! I don't have an update and I'm almost afraid to call and get one. She is actually due just 3 days after me so as you can image the whole situation hit me pretty hard. I'll let you know an update as soon as I do.

[Sully130]

Yes, LDS is right, I did experience pPROM, actually even earlier than your friend, at 16w3d. The doctors didn't have much hope and they offered termination as an option, but fully supported me in not terminating as well. Recently my mom told her ob/gyn about what happened to me and he told her it was unheard of and he would have urged me to terminate. It's crazy. As long as you are monitored, there is very little risk of just waiting and seeing.

The key for your friend and anyone going through pPROM is maintaining ANY level of amniotic fluid. Prior to 24 weeks, amniotic fluid is crucial to lung development. I have read stories and known of people through the kanalen.org site (fabulous site, and I joined the email list serve and the ladies were so supportive and helpful) who had minimal fluid early like your friend and ended up with babies who made it (some born prematurely...some on oxygen for a while, and varying degrees of problems or not). Yes, some do not make it. Yes, probably more do not make it than do...but babies do survive! The rupture can reseal...that's what happened with me.

I went on strict bedrest. I stayed in the bed all day every day, completely vertical except for a pillow or two under my head, for 20 weeks. After 32 weeks I allowed myself a little more freedom, but I still spent all but 1-2 hours a day in the bed or on the couch. I walked very slowly everywhere I went. I only got up to go to the bathroom. Until 24 weeks (when viability is possible) I showered twice a week and washed my hair once a week. I showered for less than 5 minutes each time. I kept myself as clean as possible. Infection is a HUGE risk to someone with a rupture. I used Purell all the time and did not let anyone who was sick near me. I didn't eat very much food that was not prepared by my family (another way for germs to be introduced...probably a bit much on my part, but I was obsessed with being germ free). I drank over a gallon of water a day (usually one glass every hour). Bending straws are a must for someone on bedrest, by the way! My family packed a cooler for me every day with lunch and snacks so I never had to leave the bed. I had a 2-quart pitcher of water by the bed and another container in my cooler. I actually had to live with my parents b/c my husband was out of town for five months. My mom would come home at lunch every day and refill my pitcher. Aside from the bathroom, I NEVER got out of bed in those first weeks. Never.

Medically, I had an ultrasound once a week to measure amniotic fluid and check on the baby. I had my white blood cell count checked weekly to monitor for any signs of infection. My doctor told me that absolutely NO ONE was to do a "digital" exam on me without her express content...another way to introduce infection. Let's see... At 26 weeks I had steroid shots to develop the baby's lungs. At 32 weeks I had a booster. At 26 weeks I started having weekly NSTs (non-stress tests) to monitor the baby for any signs of distress. But, by 24 weeks, my fluid levels were completely normal. I remained on bedrest until 36 weeks though just to be sure I didn't rupture again.

Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. I hope and pray your friend is hanging in there. Miracles do happen. I have to go get my little miracle up from his nap right now! He was born, by induction, at 38w5d and is absolutely, perfectly healthy. :)

[Tenny]

Sully130 Your story is amazing and an inspiration to us all. I'm so glad that your story had a happy ending!!

It is interesting that you said that you Dr. told you that NO ONE was to do a "digital" exam. After they knew her water broke the Dr did an exam first with his fingers and then used the spectrum. She said when he used the spectrum a big gush of water came out. I was really surprised they even did that.

But I do have an update and unfortunately it isn't good. She developed a fever over the weekend and it was determined that she developed an infection. They had to take the baby. I am extremely sad for her and her family.

Thank you again for your story.

[Sully130]

Tenny - I'm so sorry about your friend. I can't believe her doctor did an exam even after he knew she was leaking fluid. It may not have been what caused her infection, but why even cause that risk, you know? On me the first ER doc was doing the exam and as soon as she saw what she thought was fluid, she stopped and called my OB. My OB came and did as sterile of an exam as she could (for the sole purpose of testing the fluid). As soon as that came back positive they never touched me again.

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. Before my son was born, I lost my daughter at 23 weeks (to something other than pPROM) so I can really feel her pain. It was nice of you to be so concerned for her.

[Tonysweetie]

I'm sorry to hear about your friends outcome. I'll be praying for her.

[Tenny]

Sully130 Wow, you have really been on a roller coaster ride. I'm so sorry to hear about you daughter. My heart really goes out to you! What do you suggest would be the best thing for me to do for my friend? She lives 900 miles away and I wouldn't be up that way until May. I was thinking a nice card and maybe a gift certificate to a restaurant. Would that be appropriate?

Tonysweetie Thank you that is very sweet of you!

[LMG462]

Sorry to hear about your friend. Maybe a nice gesture would be a donation in her honor ( or baby) to the March of Dimes or some type of research group if any for pProm.

[Sully130]

Tenny - I think that would be very nice and appreciated. I would forget to eat for weeks following my daughter's death. A donation to the MofD as suggested would also be a nice gesture.

But I will say the most important thing is that you call her, or send a card. Just let her know you are thinking of her and you acknowledge her loss. If you know what her due date was, write it on your calendar and make sure you call her on that day (or send a note) if only to say, "I'm thinking of you."

Some of my closest friends didn't know what to say after my DD died so they said nothing. It was very hurtful to me. I know they were devastated and didn't know what to do, but even just saying, "I don't know what to say, I'm just so sorry" is so comforting. And saying (almost) anything is better than saying nothing.

Just don't say anything like, "Your child is in a better place," or "God needed an angel" or anything like that. I know it sounds nice, but truth is, when you lose your child you just want them back. And all those well-intentioned comments just cut like a knife. Anyway...it's kind of you to want to reach out to her. Just make sure you continue to do so. She'll be grieving for the rest of her life probably, though it will get easier over time. It's been nearly two years since my DD died and just a few weeks ago one of my friends asked about her and it made me feel good that they remembered.