Lose weight before the baby or just get pregnant?

[Pink_Converse]

If you were me would you lose weight before you get pregnant or just do it? I am 26 years old, I'm 5' 3" tall and 151 lbs. I also have a arthritis and a slipped disc in my back so carrying a lot of weight in my stomach area could potentially be very painful for me. Ideally I'd like to get down to 130 lbs before getting pregnant, but then again I am tired of waiting. We were supposed to start trying this month so I am anxious about just getting pregnant already, but also want to be healthy and want my baby to be healthy of course. I'm very torn about what to do. I eat relatively healthily and just started exercising consistently this week, 30 minutes of cardio a day, and I plan to slowly build that up and start some strength training. I almost just want to keep trying to lose, but also start trying and just see what happens. Thanks in advance for your advice. :o

[jennylou]

I wouldn't wait, but that's because there is nothing that says you will get pregnant right away. Why not start eating healthy, excercising and TTC all at the same time. Then, when you get pregnant you can continue to eat healthy and excercise. If it happens that you try for a while, you may lose some weight and tone up.

[allison]

I'm losing weight before we TTC. Two years ago I tore my ACL and gained weight so I, too, want to be more healthy in preparation for having a baby so I do cardio 4 times a week for an hour, weight training twice a week, and pilates twice a week. My pilates instructor is wonderful and is having me concentrate on the muscles that I'll use for carrying and delivery. It's wonderful!

It's definitely a hard decision, especially if you are already ready to start TTC. Dh and I aren't at this point so it wasn't that hard of a decision for us. I haven't been much help with this post, but I will say that my body is totally reshaping itself and I'm much more happy which will make me happy when I'm pregnant.

ETA, I just read Jenny's post and I agree, my pilates instructor says that I can continue the pilates during my pregnancy which I'm looking forward to. :)

[Pookie]

As someone who did get pg before losing weight, I'm planning to lose weight before TTC #2. It did take us 1 1/2 years to get pg, so I'm glad I didn't wait. However; I did end up with PIH (pg induced hypertension) where being overweight is a contributing factor.

[Camdynlyn]

We will start TTC in Dec/Jan and I plan on loosing at least 15 pounds. I am not overweight by my standards (I am 5'9" and weigh about 165lbs) but I would like to tone up a little to look better. I could easily top 200 lbs at the rate I am going with a baby.

[mel7dog]

If you were me would you lose weight before you get pregnant or just do it? I am 26 years old, I'm 5' 3" tall and 151 lbs. I also have a arthritis and a slipped disc in my back so carrying a lot of weight in my stomach area could potentially be very painful for me

Although I agree that you can loose weight while TTC, if I were you I'd try to "get into gear" with healthy eating/exercise before TTC. If you already have health issuses the extra baby weight could be very painful on your small frame. Besides so many woman plan to loose weight after a baby, but get so busy with the baby they don't have time. Why not try to begin to loose weight and have TTC be your reward?! :D

[lml41981]

I was losing weight when I got pg, but I wasn't anywhere near my ideal weight. It has caused me to feel incredibly self-conscious and down about myself because I feel like I just look even more fat (especially when people who are very slender pre-pg make comments about just looking fat when they are still much more slender than I was pre-pg...but that's my issue to deal with). My biggest challenge has been finding cute maternity clothes. Even hiring a seamstress was a bust because she did a shoddy job and didn't follow my style (that I clearly explained and showed to her). I get so frustrated not finding clothes that look cute and flatter me. I feel like the clothes I do wear make me just look even more overweight...it's not a pleasant cycle.

I will not be overweight when it is time to TTC again. Pregnancy pushed me over the edge. :(

If I were you, I'd get started losing the weight you want to lose and start TTC when you are at a point where you're more comfortable with your weight.

[Abby'sMom]

We were TTCing for a few months before I decided I wasn't comfortable with my weight. Since we weren't succeeding anyway, I started a food pyramid based diet and kept a food journal. I lost about 15 pounds (which was essentially my goal, though if I wanted to be really thin I could've kept going). And then we got pg after 7 mos of trying. Extra weight **can** (not always will, of course) have an impact on TTC. I have artiritic knees so I probably wouldn't have been able to walk if I'd not lost that weight pre-pg. IMO, even as someone who took a little longer than average to get pg, I'd take a little while to start the weightloss process before seriously TTC. It could well have been my extra weight that kept us from succeeding earlier.

[Twylla]

If it were me, I'd start TTC and eating healthy and exercising all at the same time.

But you're not me, and that may not be what's best for you.

A pp mentioned having TTC be your reward for losing a few pounds. That's sort fo what's working out for me. I signed up to run the Honolulu Marathon for the Arthritis Society this December, and we're going to start TTC right after. Our original TTC date was next July, so we moved it up a bit as a "reward." Maybe the same sort of thing could work for you.

Oh, and I wanted to mention that my aunt who suffers from rheumatiod aerthritis says she went right into remission for her 2 pregnancies. Not sure if that happens to all arthritics, but I hoped it would make you happy! :)

P.S. BDing sure will burn a lot of calories!!! ;)

[jennylou]

Since others, who are overweight are sharing their experiences, I just wanted to let you know that I did not experience a negative pregnancy because of my weight.

I did not get hypertension, nor GD. Remember, it doesn't matter what size you are, look around the boards, you'll find people of all sizes who become afflicted with these issues.

As for looking fat/preggo. Maybe it's my shape but I thought I looked PG. I mean, I knew that the outside world probably just thought I was a bit heavier, but it didn't bother me. Also, by the time I was about 25 weeks, you could see it was baby belly. At that point, people started holding the elevator for me, holding doors for me...people who didn't know me. Also, I liked my maternity clothes! Sure, I had to look around for most of it, but I always have to look around for it. Also, someone told me the other night that I had a very cute PG belly. :)

I had some complaints towards the end of PG: swollen ankles, back ache, tiredness, etc. But, it seemed to me that everyone who was as pregnant as I, was complaining about the same things!

I just wanted to give the flip side. :)

[Mystikal]

I am totally in your position. DH and I just started TTC in May, and since October I have been slowly losing weight. I've gone from 155 to 138 (and I'm five feet tall.) I am not at the weight I wanted to be at when I got pregnant, but I figure we are only TTC right now, and it might take a while.
My main reason for losing weight and getting in shape is so that I can have healthy habits established when my children are born so that they will have a healthy role model.
I think that you are doing the right things by eating healthier and exercising. Believe me I know how hard it is to wait when you want a baby so badly. Maybe if you put off TTC one more month or so, you could potentially lose 8-10 pounds in a month, and then dive into TTC full-force while continuing to eat healthy and exercise?
Either way good luck with both your journeys!! :)

[Pink_Converse]

Thank you all for your advice and experiences. Mystikal's advice really sounds do-able to me. Maybe I should try really hard to lose all of August and if I feel better about things then I should start to try or reaccess the situation then. It's just so hard to wait! I finally get DH 100% on board with having a baby and I'm not in a position to go full force into it. It's dissappointing.

[jessied1025]

pink_converse I can totally relate to how you are feeling. DH and I are going to start TTC in October of this year. I could definately lose a couple of pounds or at least start eating better. I am about 5'4" tall and I weigh about 150. My DH doesn't think that I am over weight, but that I could tone up. I would like to weigh about 135/140. My biggest concern about being pregnant is how my ankles are going to handle the extra weight. I broke one and spranged the other one pretty bad in high school and they have never been the same since.

I started this week taking longer walks with our dog and doing sit ups before bed on my exercise ball. The next thing I need to do is start eating better. We are not home very often due to being involved in volleyball and softball during the week and our weekends are always busy. So it makes it easy to grab some greesy food on the way home.

I wish you lots of luck! :)

[LeslieR]

I wanted to lose weight before I got pregnant, but I never did. The desire to have a baby outweighed my desire to lose weight. I can't say for sure whether being heavy has put an extra burden on my body during my pregnancy or not. Who knows-I still might have gotten GD anyway, my knees might still have given me trouble anyway, etc. I wish I wasn't as heavy as I am now (not only was I heavy to begin with, but I've gained a lot of weight during my pregnancy), but I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so excited to meet our son and to be a mommy. It's all been worth it. I will say this, though-I plan on losing A LOT of weight before my next pregnancy. :)

[emmjay]

I think you can do both at once - that's what I'm doing! I started Weight Watchers today, and I am going off BCP this weekend. Ideally I want to lose about 20 - 25 lbs, and since I figure it will take at LEAST a few months before I get pregnant, I'm hoping to lose most if not all of that weight before that happens. I don't want to pass on unhealthy eating habits to my future children, like Mystical said.

[LRL]

Just wanted to share my thoughts on this subject…

DH and I have both been losing weight over the last year, before I got pregnant. For us it was also a lifestyle change and a desire to show our children how to eat/be healthy. It was not so much about losing the weight, which of course was a bonus. We also considered that me being an ideal weight would reduce the chances of having complications with the pregnancy, back problems, gestational diabetes, etc. When I got pregnant I was about 5 pounds from my ideal weight and feeling great. At just over 10 weeks of preganancy, I have gained 3.5 pounds with no morning sickness. So far, so good. However, I have heard people say that women who lose weight just before getting pregnant usually pack on many more pounds easily during pregnancy. I am not sure how the dieting "method" affects this idea though- for instance- if you are starving yourself, you probably will gain weight once you start eating again, you know?

That being said, I do not know what my health during the pregnancy will be because that is not guaranteed regardless of my weight, but I have given myself better odds. I am happy with our decision to get healthy before we even got close to TTC. We also got lucky in that is was very easy for us to TTC. I have to tell you that I might have regretted the lost time if we had experienced TTC problems- doing both at the same time sounds like a great idea, because losing weight is all about getting healthy and developing better habits. These are things that will take you a lifetime to refine- much longer than we all have to TTC! :)

[abbytfox]

Thought I would share my story...We started TTC right before our 2 year wedding anniversary. Wanting to look and feel great on my wedding day inspired me to lose about 15 pounds. Since then, I had been watching my weight slowly creep back up (what can I say, less exercise and we LOVE to eat!) even though I did aerobics 3-4 times a week and walked a lot! I have always eaten a pretty healthy vegetarian diet, but just too much of it. I was disappointed with my weight gain, but ready to get started on our family. We got pregnant right away and I am now 20 weeks! (So the whole thing about being heavier hindering your chance of getting preg may not be the case for you as it wasn't for me) At first, it was hard for me to see the weight gain and not feel preggo, just really thick. Now that I am showing more I feel good and definitely pregnant, not just big. I still have a very pear shaped body and certain days I feel are hard for me body-image-wise, but I am thrilled to be pregnant and wouldn't have changed the way it happened. However, I think before the next one, I will try to get down to a more desirable weight for me. I can understand that is hard because you really don't know how long it will take you to concieve. I think the women who have suggested eating healthily and exercising while TTC have a great idea. Good luck to you, whatever your decision is!

[Medako]

I personally didn't lose any weight before TTC and had no problem getting pregnant. Since then, I've lost about 10 lbs in the first 15 weeks of pregnancy (morning/noon/night sickness will do that to ya!).

I know a girl though who's story/situation might give a little different perspective. Her pregnancy wasn't planned and when she found out she realized that she needed to get into better shape before the baby got here. She started eating healthier and doing light to moderate exercises. At 7 months pregnant she had only gained 5 pounds in overall weight, but it was all going to her tummy. She'd managed to "redistribute" the weight from her arms, legs, hips & thighs. Her doctor said that the baby was growing perfectly fine and even though she hadn't gained much weight overall, she'd gained where she needed and lost where she wanted.

So, what I'm trying to say is that eating healthier and being able to get into better shape doesn't HAVE to be done pre-pregnancy and if you guys are realy to TTC now, I say go for it!

[Pink_Converse]

At this point, I think we are going to start trying asap and keep up the trying to lose weight and exercise. I'm not going to be hardcore dieting, just eating better and adding more exercise, so I should be fine. Thanks for all of the advice and keep it coming.

[njdiva]

Good topic...
This is one of the main reasons why I joined a gym & actively became conscious of what I was eating at the beginning of this year. When I saw my weight quickly increase - since our wedding (2 yrs ago)... I did not want to add baby weight on top of that ... because I knew I would be even more miserable.

So I am currently have a gym routine going where I go 3-4x a week and I also pay close attention to what I eat.... it's a constant struggle but I have lost close to 12lbs... But it was not a struggle I wanted to BEGIN after I got pregnant.

Just trying to be a little proactive ;)

[red_canuck]

I have PCOS, and overweight and after 2 years of TTC, it was going nowhere for us, and the next step was meds. I decided I would get my body in order first, and started exercising everyday. 2 months into exercising daily, and losing some weight, I got pregnant naturally :) Optimally, i would have loved to lose more weight before getting pregnant, but that just gives me a goal for after the baby comes. I would though like to be my prefered weight before TTC #@, so i can enjoy the baby belly a little more ;)

[kimthebride]

Well...I also have a bad back, and though I was a "healthy" weight before TTC I began working out with a trainer to strengthen my back (and body) to be able to handle the extra weight of pregnancy. Doing this caused me to lose a little weight, but made me sooo much stronger. Other than a pinched nerve I had in my 1st trimester (obviously not weight-related!), I had almost zero back pain during pregnancy, was able to remain healthy, active, and not whiney the entire time. :)
If you want to TTC right away, I'd say go for it but start at least a strength-training regimine to get that back into shape. I feared being miserably in pain with my back, but the exercise really helped me.

[Pink_Converse]

Well, yesterday we found out we both need new tires and I need new shocks and this alone will be around $1600 we did not plan for, and our washing machine is making crazy noises, it will be atleast another month before we TTC. I am beyond dissappointed but that's life I guess.

I am still eating better and exercising, we started "playing" tennis as well. We are REALLY bad, but it's fun.

kimthebride-do you have a journal on this side? I enjoyed yours on the WC.

[onomatopoeia]

As someone who was on Atkins when I got preggo, I don't recommend that diet.

I was down to 130-135 ( can't remember) and I was looking good. Then I found out I was pregnant and was told I needed to eat carbs. I ballooned up to 155 in 2 months!

If I had been down to 130 (just by regular exercise/diet) I think that I wouldn't have gained so much so fast.

I ended up at 42 weeks pregnant weighing 180.

Now my son is almost 9 months old and I weigh 128. I lost the weight by exercising, eating right, and working hard.

So, please don't do any low carb diet b/c once you need to eat carbs, you will gain weight fast.

[kimthebride]

Another thought, Pink_Converse:

I was preggo at the same time as an associate of mine who was (in her opinion) about 20 lbs overweight and I'm guessing 5'2" or so. She came to my work baby shower when we were both 7+ months preggo, and I had gained almost 30lbs by then but she only gained 7 - yet we looked the same size in the belly (I'm almost 5'10").

So...because I was thin to begin with I needed to gain more weight. Since she wasn't, her body didn't put it on.

BTW I am journaling on LJ with the same name - let me know if you're over there, we can friend each other. :)

[ktsb]

I am beyond dissappointed but that's life I guess.



I know how you feel. I'm also TTC (and trying to lose a little weight) and once you decide you want it, it really becomes a part of you.

Sorry about the unexpected expenses and I applaud you for being so responsible but I'm not sure why you can't still TTC if you really want to? It's not expensive and it would be almost a year or so until the baby is born, right?

--Katie

[Pink_Converse]

ktsb-It really had become a part of me, I felt I had kind of lost something i never really had or something.

I don't really understand either. I'm trying to. I kind of think it's just another excuse to put it off by DH. We are going to have a talk tonight. I tried to tell him it takes 9 MONTHS for a baby to come out, the debt will be paid off way before that, but he doesn't seem to get that. The whole situation got brought up right before bed so we didn't get to talk too much. I hope to get a clearer answer tonight. He had kind of had me convinced I was just being impatient and selfish and the more I think about it I don't think that's the case, I also talked to my BF and sister who know him and they think he's just not ready and making up excuses and believe me, they will tell me when I am wrong (atleast my sis will). After we married he said we'll have a baby after we get a house (been here 3 years), then he just wasn't ready yet-he wanted to be married for a while, then he said after we get rid of the roomate (been gone since June), then it was after we had our huge debt paid off (got paid off in June due to a bonus), then it was after you quit your job (also happened in June) and now a new set of excuses popped up. I also know he is just getting used to be being the sole provider (financially) and feeling out how our bills will be and stuff, so I do realize that can be stressful.

I'm VERY confused.

[ktsb]

It sounds like you know what's really going on. If he sticks with the financial reasons as an excuse there isn't really even a lot of expenses after the baby is born what with baby showers and all.

I wish you luck tonight. It sounds like he's not totally opposed to the issue, just maybe not ready. It might help to really commend him for being concerned about the finances.

I was in the same boat. If it helps, some men really come around more when you're pregnant. That's what happened to me. A friend of mine said her husband really came around after the baby was born.

Keep us posted!

--Katie

[tbell]

As someone who was on Atkins when I got preggo, I don't recommend that diet.

I was down to 130-135 ( can't remember) and I was looking good. Then I found out I was pregnant and was told I needed to eat carbs. I ballooned up to 155 in 2 months!

If I had been down to 130 (just by regular exercise/diet) I think that I wouldn't have gained so much so fast.

I ended up at 42 weeks pregnant weighing 180.

Now my son is almost 9 months old and I weigh 128. I lost the weight by exercising, eating right, and working hard.

So, please don't do any low carb diet b/c once you need to eat carbs, you will gain weight fast.

Wow, thanks for posting that. I am on Atkins and loving it, but am doing it for all the previous reasons listed and want to be a healthier weight before we TTC. Kind of makes me think twice about my diet...

[miaclear]

We'll be TTC next spring. I've been an on again off again WW member forever but decided I need to get on the ball and get back into meetings. Doing it by myself just doesn't work. I'd love to loose 30-35 lbs before we TTC in HIGH HIGH hopes that I'll be able to keep off the fatty stuff and just get a cute baby bump. Or if that doesn't work....at least I'll start off a lot lighter ;) I'm not overly overweight right now, just at the very top end of healthy...but I can already tell that my joints and my back just don't like me. I'd like to have that taken care of before TTC.

[Pink_Converse]

He's not budging. He said if we are in debt he will worry and think about it every day and not be able to enjoy the beginning of the pregnany and it's not fair to him. Why should I be the only one to enjoy it. He assures me he is ready for a baby, we just need to get over this next month or so. I guess I have to give him the benefit of the doubt or just be miserable the next month. I just have to accept it and psych myself out for it and be positive so when I do get pregnant and look back the whole experience is surround with positive memories and not negative ones. Easier said than done with this pessimist!

[ktsb]

Well Poo. I know how you must feel.

Did he at least acknowledge your feelings? Did you happen to address the "it's always something" issue too? I know it's really hard in this situation because you don't want to be mean and make him mad and make him REALLY not go for it out of principle or male pride (been there too!). You kinda have to tread lightly.

Yes you are right it won't be as fun if he's somewhat against it. My DH wasn't against it he was just apathetic about the whole thing. This round he's really for it and it makes a HUGE difference.

I just hope ONE month is a compromise and not him getting to hold all the beans just because he is the bread winner.

[Pink_Converse]

It's definately just a compromise, in as much as this is the last time I'm going to let him put it off and I want us both to be happy when I become pregnant. It's a reluctant compromise ;) . I'm so ready but I'm willing to wait one more month rather than beat him over the head with the idea and later feel like I forced him into having a baby. I've felt that way in the past about things, moving in together, getting married and it has really taken away some of the special-ness ( is that a word) and good memories. He doesn't feel like I forced him into anything in the past, but I do. I'm always ready for EVERYTHING before he is.

[ktsb]

I've felt that way in the past about things, moving in together, getting married and it has really taken away some of the special-ness ( is that a word) and good memories.....I'm always ready for EVERYTHING before he is.

OMG your DH and I must be related!!! And that's mostly what happened to me. :rolleyes:

All righty then I hope to hear you are TTC starting September 1. And that's MORE than a month ;)

[Pink_Converse]

ktsb-Thanks for listening and for all your advice. I appreciate it. I will keep you all posted on us TTC.