When to announce pregnancy?

[pugzy]

I'm sure there is a thread on this, but I couldn't find one. I'm only 5 weeks pregnant, but I'm bursting at the seams to tell people. When did you announce your pregnancy?

I know some people announce right away, but I would like to wait at least until the possibility of m/c is "less likely". So when is that?

TIA!

[RobynScott]

We told immediate family (parents and siblings) immediately. I told one work friend around 6-7 weeks b/c I had to tell *someone*. Told another friend after we heard the heartbeat at 10 weeks. We told some other close friends around the same time.

Most everyone else we told when we were right about 13 weeks - we really wanted to get out of the first tri before saying anything. Told work at 15 weeks.

CONGRATS!

[cr8zyforaf]

I told everyone in our immediate family before the pee even dried on the stick - we had been trying for quite some time so I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Most of my friends and coworkers knew early on- I was extremely sick from week 4 on.

Congrats.

[PinkMartini]

We told family immediately - at 6 weeks when I found out I was pregnant. I told my work pretty early on as well - maybe 8 weeks...

ETA: We heard the HB at 6 weeks, otherwise we would've waited to tell anyone until we heard it.

[Pookie]

Some people like to wait until 12 weeks to be out of the first trimester, but things can always happen. With my first pg, I just had a "feeling." We only told a few people. I m/ced at 6 1/2 weeks. With DS I knew it was going to be good, but we still waited until 10 weeks. Next time I'm going to wait to see a heartbeat. My OB's office does an early u/s at your first appt (8 weeks), so if we see the h/b then, we'll start telling people.

[lil_geek]

From someone who is NOT pg yet....

We plan to tell immediate family right away. My thoughts are that if something happens I will want to have my family to turn to for support (my aunt had 3 m/c before she had her kids).

Friends we will likley tell late/after first trimester.

[jessesgirl]

I told immediate family right away. I waited until the second month to tell the rest of the family because we wrote in our Christmas cards. I told my boss at work right away because I wanted him to be aware of the fact that some issues might come up at the last minute. He was pretty good at being understanding for the morning sickness and having to come into work a few minutes late because of it. When we heard the heartbeat for the first time is when we let everyone else know.

[Tonysweetie]

We told our families a few days after we found out. To hard to keep that secret! We told friends and the rest of our family not to long after. Others we waited until I was 11 weeks.

[Asha]

We plan to tell immediate family right away. My thoughts are that if something happens I will want to have my family to turn to for support

this was part of my rationale for telling immediate family and friends right away. i would need all the love and support if a m/c happened. we couldn't deal with something like that on our own.

also, immediate f&f knew we were undergoing fertility treatments, and i didn't want them waiting on pins and needles since many of them had been so supportive of us.

its also nice to be pampered right away.

[Pine Tree]

We waited until 13 weeks to tell immediate family, mainly because we loved having the news be a private secret before I became "public property". I think our families were surprised we waited so long to tell, but were all very supportive. We started telling friends after that slowly. I told a few people at work soon after that, but didn't officially tell everyone at work until I was 4 1/2 months.

[ejs]

We told immediate family at 6 weeks, after our first appt. We didn't tell others until 20 weeks, after we got our amnio results.

[Sevilla]

We waited until we heard the heartbeat at 12 weeks before telling anyone IRL. Your risk of miscarriage drops hugely once you hit 12-14 weeks and have heard the heatbeat. I am so glad we waited that long, it was fun having it be a secret just between DH and i for awhile.

[kdotp]

With our first two pregnancies, the only person who knew IRL was my sister (and she only knew because she lurked on WC). I miscarried both of those, and for me, personally, it was easier not to have to deal with the sympathy or looks from people. I'm not an open person and to let so many people know my personal business was not comfortable for me. I found more than enough support from WC, CC and LJ.

With DS, we waited until I was 13 weeks. That's when I felt comfortable sharing the news. We'll probably wait that long with any future pregnancies.

[Natasha]

I told my mom and sister immediatley with both. My son was a HUGE surprise, and I never actually told my dad and s-mom (I was 19). They obviously figured it out after awhile. ;) We waited till 10-12 weeks to tell anyone with our daughter.

[boilermaker]

I waited until 8 weeks to tell family only because I wanted to tell them in person and that was the first chance I got. If I had been able to see them earlier, I would have told them earlier.

I also told 2 really good friends around the same time.

Everyone else, we just kind of told them as we went along..so anywhere from 10-20 weeks. I told work at 14 weeks when I thought it was obvious I was showing (hindsight, I prob could have gone another month or so..)

[jajacobsen]

For me, I know announcing my pregnancy will cause some issues at work and I also knwo many of my friends will be surprised as I am 40+ and have had health issues so i am sure they assme we "can't."

We currently are TTC and going through IUI, looking at IVF. My first cycle of IUI failed and that was hard. However, it is nice to come to work and meet with friends, etc and not have all the (well-meaning) but prying questions. If Ihave an early miscarriage, I don't think I could get through the day if people kept asking me about it or offering sympathy.

So we will wait until 10-12 weeks, if we are lucky enough to get a BFP.

[Jess71903]

We told immediate family and close friends right away, mainly because we were starting IF treatment and we wanted them to be able to pray for a healthy pregnancy instead of for me to get pregnant, and because I was supposed to have surgery the day we found out in pre-op. They would be asking how it went.

We told church at 9 weeks after my 1st u/s where we saw the hearbeat. My dr. said your chance of miscarriage goes down to about 2% for the remainder of the pregnancy after you can see or hear a heartbeat. I told my boss about a week later, and work not long after that, but they didn't have to know since I am a contractor and just my boss had to know in order to be able to replace me.

If you want to know when is a good time, it just depends on your personal preference. I think I would have told close friends and family early anyway, because like PP, I would need the prayers and support.

[MichelleRenee]

We told everyone the day we found out... I was 3.5 weeks along. Everyone knew we were trying and kept asking and asking.....

[Wrighty26]

We told family at 8 weeks, I told work at 10 weeks, and then our friends at 12 weeks. We actually had not heard the heartbeart anything until AFTER we told everyone, but I felt pretty good about everything. Next time I will probably do the same.

[spps]

With DS we told immediate family at 12 weeks, and everyone else between 16 and 18 weeks. This time we will tell immediate famly at 12, adn everyone else soon thereafter b/c I am starting to show much much sooner.

[polarama]

Ours was very tiered. Not everyone IRL knew about my PCOS and that we were seeing an RE. I told one friend the day after I got the BFP--she knew we were trying, knew when I was planning to test etc.

I told my parents and sister the week after, when we got my 2nd beta back. They were told not to tell anyone.

At six weeks, I had an u/s and saw the h/b, but we kept it a secret for a few more weeks. At 9 weeks we told my ILs and asked that they keep it to themselves (they didn't)

At around 11, I let the cat out of the bag for close friends and extended family. I "came out" at work at 14 weeks.

[MidwesternGal]

I told 3 friends the day I got the BFP, because I was freaking out (in a bad way--very very unplanned).

We told family (and therefore, everyone else knew right after them) at around 14 weeks, because it coincided with Easter, so it worked out nicely, everyone was there.

[BTB]

We told our immediate families the day after we found out. We chose to do that for two reasons: we'd been trying a while, and wanted people to know that, and decided that if we were to lose the pregnancy, we wanted our familes to know that, too. We had a fun, celebratory weekend.

Two weeks later, I was placed on bedrest for heavy bleeding, and a week after that missed SIL's wedding. Given that we would've had to tell family then, when things were going wrong, I was really glad for that time we had to share it and be happy about it, that we got to say "we're pregnant!!" instead of "well, we're pregnant, but..." I stayed on bedrest two months, and had a complicated pregnancy, the first trimester was the hairiest and I was so grateful to have so much support. I missed "work" (it was actually school, then) while on bedrest as well, so they found out early, too.

Barring circumstances like that, you can tell when you're ready. There's never any point in pregnancy where you know you're bringing home a baby, it's smaller with time but there's always that chance. I don't not tell people about my daughter, because something might happen to her, even though something might. *shrug* Tell people when you're comfortable with them knowing.

[Smittenk]

We waited until after our first ultrasound to make sure the pregnancy was viable. I was 11 weeks along. We didn't start really spreading the news until after 12 weeks along.

[amew]

We have definitely announced in waves. We told immediate family right away, told a few very close friends at around 6 weeks (mostly because we were spending New Year's with them and there was no way I could not drink without raising serious suspicion anyway), told a few more close friends and some extended family after seeing the heartbeat for the second time around 9weeks, strarted telling the rest of our friends and acquaintances around 12 weeks. Told work at 14 weeks.

[sue-bert]

We told our immediate families after the first trimester (~13 weeks). I told people at work a few weeks later. My job sometimes involves lab work, which I managed to avoid all during the first trimester, but I was going to have to work w/organic solvents a few weeks into my 2nd trimester, so I needed to tell them that I could not.

Other people weren't told until the 6th-7th month (I hid it well).

[Lanapoo]

We told everyone fairly soon after we found out, we waited until 8 weeks to tell my mom and dad though because I wanted to tell them in person.

Having been one of those who had a miscarriage after telling everybody (including work), I don't regret for an instant that I did. I'm sure I will tell everyone right away all over again.

I thought it might be awkward at work but it really helped that they knew I wasn't just slacking off when I had to stay home for quite a few days while I was trying to miscarry naturally and they really didn't make a big deal about it when I came back except to say that they were sorry.

I think it all depends on your personality. If it would bother you to have people know if you have a miscarriage then you should keep it to yourself until around 12 weeks or so. If you're like me and think you would like the support from other people then tell right away. You wouldn't believe how many people came out of the woodwork to tell me that they had had miscarriages with pregnancies too. It helped to be able to talk to people about it.

[gizzyntaz]

This is an intensely personal decision, based on so many factors.

I was just reading in one of my books the other day that after the heart starts beating your chance of miscarrying goes to 2% for the duration of the pregnancy. That's good news. So after you hear or see it you can rest easier...

This time we told local friends after we heard the heartbeat.

We'll tell the families (all out of town) next week (start of second tri).

[pugzy]

Thanks ladies for all of your replies, it really helps me to decide when to tell. We have our 1st ultrasound next Tuesdayat a little over 7 weeks preg, so I guess we will tell our families after that. I can't wait!

[karlatta]

Well, some of my LJ buddies knew as early as I did (about 4 weeks), but we held off until we got our second beta back (at 5 weeks) to tell immediate family and close friends.

After that, I didn't really tell anyone. I just kind of waited to let them find out on their own. I think I still have one set of grandparents that doesn't know (and I'm almost 19 weeks!).

I'm kind of weird, and I just don't like calling people up to tell them that I'm pregnant. Maybe I'm immature or whatever, but it feels like such a "Hi, here's proof that I had sex with DH!" moment to me, and it seems weird to share that with my grandpa, you know? But then again, I'm also pretty private. I hardly told anyone I was engaged back when that happened.

[coquelicot]

Not PG, but we plan on waiting until I'm at least 2 months along (maybe even 3) before telling family and most friends. I might have to tell my BFF before then, though. I'm not very big, but any weight I gain is in my mid-section, so I might be able to hide a pregnancy until I'm through my first trimester. Our families don't live nearby, so it might not be hard to keep it a secret.

This is what we say now, but... :)

[MizLarner]

Not PG, but I'm lucky if I make it more than a few days before I tell!

[SQ2]

We told immediate family and close friends immediately. We're waiting to tell a few close friends that live far away so we can tell them in person. Otherwise no one else will know until the 1st trimester is over (13 weeks). It's so hard keeping it a secret! We have an u/s on Thursday and hopefully we'll see a heartbeat which will make me feel more relaxed for the rest of the 1st tri. I will probably tell work soon after we spread the news to more extended family and friends.

[stevesbabygirl]

We told our families at 10 weeks, because it coincided with Thanksgiving, and we could tell everyone at the same time. We told extended family and friends at about 12 weeks, when we announced it on our Christmas cards. Work found out at about the same time.