hiding to poop

[1_mommy]

my bff has a dd who is 3.5. (she will be 4 in aug)
she has been pt'd since october. she has never religiously gone #2 in the toliet. well now it has gotten so bad, that she hides when she has to go and can poop in her panties up to 3 times a day, and she doesn't even care if she sits in it! (she was at my house yesterday and did it twice, the second time we didn't even know she had done it)
her mom has threatned her with diapers, but she just doesn't care, bribery isn't working

does anyone have any suggestions how my bf can maybe go about getting her to go on the toliet?
i am at a loss since everything i had suggested, they had tried with her.

my friend wants to put her in school this fall, but she can't go if she keeps going in her pants

[lil_geek]

Just a thought... will totally depend on the kid. Haver her explain that she can't go to school until she can do #2 in the toilet.

Worked for friends of ours witha delayed 3.5 year old boy. He was in diapers 24-7 and then when they explained he couldn't go to school until he was potty trained... within 2 weeks he was in 'big boy' underware 24-7

[jessesgirl]

My nephew did the same thing. What worked for my mom who ultimately trained him (don't ask why, long story) was she had him going to the bathroom hourly, even if it was just to pee, until he got comfortable just doing #2 on the toilet as well. I don't remember how long it took her to do it. Consistency was the key as well as looking for the signs (ie, hiding to go) where then she made the extra effort to get him into the bathroom to go. I think it took her only a couple weeks. She did use bribery, but not so much where she told him that he would get a treat if he went. She just gave him a cookie and praised him verbally for going #2 after the fact, then it became an incentive where he learned if he did one thing, it resulted in something extra good.

[Neen]

Going #2 on the big potty can be scarey for some kids. Is she using the big potty or potty chair? Is she having any pain when she goes #2? or was there something that happened that's making her afraid to use the potty for #2?

A co-workers daughter had this issue, and because her parents would get mad at her for pooping her pants she started to hold it in. She because severly constipated and is just now (at 6 almost 7) able to control her bowels. She had no feeling in her rectum (from the constipation) and has had to be on several medications to correct the problem. I'm not saying this will happy to your friends daughter, but it could.

[Rico'sAlice]

my bff has a dd who is 3.5. (she will be 4 in aug)
she has been pt'd since october. she has never religiously gone #2 in the toliet. well now it has gotten so bad, that she hides when she has to go and can poop in her panties up to 3 times a day, and she doesn't even care if she sits in it! (she was at my house yesterday and did it twice, the second time we didn't even know she had done it)
her mom has threatned her with diapers, but she just doesn't care, bribery isn't working

does anyone have any suggestions how my bf can maybe go about getting her to go on the toliet?
i am at a loss since everything i had suggested, they had tried with her.

my friend wants to put her in school this fall, but she can't go if she keeps going in her pants


This isn't that unusual for children who were initially diaper trained- which is almost all Americans. (They get taught to be happy with sitting in it. But that's a different convo.)

It might be helpful if you posted a little more about the original methods/techniques they used for potty learning and what things they have already tried to address the problem more recently.
Hopefully they haven't done any sort of punishment or scolding when she does go in her pants b/c that can set up negative associations with BMs.
Do they do modeling, does DC ever help mom out when she needs to poop (handing TP, flushing, etc.) For some kids the flushing is the issue, seeing the poop go byebye is a little scary.