Using Baby Names Others Have Used

[Cali_Katy]

I'm curious as to what everyone's threshold for deciding a name is off-limits because a friend or family member has already used it. How close does the relationship have to be before you'd veto it? Does it matter if the name is a more common one, like Emily, or a more unique one, like Sailor?

I tend to think that, especially with more common names, people get a little too possessive. It's not as if your child is never going to encounter another person with his or her name, unless he or she has a wildly unusual name. I agree that it can get confusing, though, with family and close friends, so I can understand wanting to avoid to using a name someone else in your immediate circle has already used.

We named our son Benjamin; three months before he was born, my sister's SIL (her husband's brother's wife) gave birth to twin boys, one of whom was named Benjamin, too. We had already decided on the name and decided to stick with it because it had significant family meaning for us -- it was my husband's grandfather's name. We don't live near them, so we figured the only people it would really be confusing for is my sister and her family, who now have two nephews/cousins named Benjamin who are rougly the same age. Their older son's name is Alex, which we also love, but we've decided not to name our new baby that since re-using two of their kid's names would just be too weird. I don't know why that's the line in the sand for me, but there it is.

Another name we love is William, with a nickname of Will. Very close friends of ours named their three-month-old son William, with a nickname of Liam. They do live in a different state than us, though, and we only see them once or twice a year. I wonder if they'd be annoyed if we used that name?

[PinkMartini]

I personally agree, people are -WAY- too possesive with names... I wouldn't give a second thought if a family member named their DC after ours or if we named our DC after theirs... It's ok though because my IL's tend to name their DC off the wall names we'd never use

[Southlooper]

We named our DD Sophia. This was the first name that both DH and I liked. However, I felt I had to pass on the name because my friend, who can be quite posessive, already claimed the name "Sophie" if she had a girl. So, we settled in another name. It wasn't until 2 days before DD was born that we changed our mind and went with what we really wanted.

My friend lives in another state and we rarely see each other. There is no guarentee that she will ever have a baby girl, and if she did we are so far apart that it really wouldn't make a difference. I'm just VERY careful not to refer to DD as "Sophie" when I talk to or e-mail my friend.

My former boss has 2 grandsons named Michael. I think I read that Rose Kennedy had 6 great grandchildren named Rose, 5 Michaels, and a few Roberts, Christophers, Christinas, Joes, and Johns sprinkled in there. My brother and SIL used my grandmother's name (which is the same as my MIL's name) for their daughter's middle name. If we have another girl we will use the same middle name.

Life is too short to go with a name with you are not comfortable.

[AHammer]

Well, if we ever have a boy he will have the same first name as his cousin. It happens to be my grandfather's name and my brother's name, so hopefully no one in the family has a problem with us using it also. I don't care if it will be confusing or "they used it first" (I don't really think they'll have a problem with it, but I'm just saying, if they did, it wouldn't change our decision.)

[Wrighty26]

I wouldn't mind if someone in my family or any of my friends decided to use my son's name. I'd actually think they'd have great taste! At the same time- I do know what you mean. My cousin has 2 boys - Alexander and Ethan. Both names I love, but both names I kept off my list because of my cousin. My reasoning - in my family there are a lot of "Michael's" and it gets very confusing. We resort to nicknames and full names when we are all together!

If I do have another boy (someday) I don't think I will take Alexander or Ethan off the table. She does live in another state --and her boys will be way older.

[kmmommy]

My step-mom's cousin has a DS with named Kaiden and our son is the same. Coincidentally enough we also liked Kennedy for our DD which is her DD's name. We didn't use it though. I just couldn't.

My BFF stole her DS's name from my short list in case we had another boy (pg at the same time but she was due 10 weeks before me). Whatever. There are tons of names out there.

I say go for Will if you really like it.

[jennylou]

DS's name was the name of DHs cousin (who lives out of state and we didn't really even think about him). Also, another cousin has a son with it as his middle name - it took us forever to decide upon a name and it was the only one we agreed upon for a boy. In talking with the parents about names we mentioned that it was the only name we both liked. They both encouraged us to use it. It's a pretty popular name though, so I wasn't worried about using it and him being the only one with it. Another one of DHs cousins is marrying a man with that name.

DDs name is more old fashioned, so I'd be surprised if someone used it, but I wouldn't be upset.

[MidwesternGal]

I absolutely *hate* it when people "call" names. Hello, you don't own a patent on the name, for goodness sake!! This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. Tying in with this, I hate it when people think you named your child "for them" when you really just liked the name. :rolleyes: I had to x off a favorite girl's name because DH's best friend's daughter had that name and we'd never hear the end of it.

One of my good friends emailed me, asking me to tell her what my girl's names choices were, because she had "called" several all ready. Um, she wasn't even pregnant and wasn't planning to even TTC in the next 3 years!!!

Anywhoo, long story short--name your kid whatever you want. Life is waaaaay to short. However, I will say that if someone else tells you that their kid's name will be X (and it's fairly uncommon) and it's on your very short list, it would be courteous to mention that to them, so they don't think you "stole" it at the time of birth!

[MichelleRenee]

Well, even though I have a brother AND a cousin named Michael I still married a Michael.... but I do draw the line at my son's first name being Michael as well. Even though I love the name, it is just getting too confusing!

The way I see it... it really doesn't matter. There are family memebers we see a few times a week and family members we see a few times a month. I wouldn't use any of their names or any of their kids names simply because it would be too confusing and there are way too many great names out there. But family/friends I don't see often? I wouldn't hesitate to give my child the same name as one of them.

Now if there were a name I was absolutely IN LOVE with and another family member used it before I could I would probably still consider using it, even if it were going to cause some confusion. On the same token, I loved the name Madison for a girl for years, but once BIL named his dog Madison I took it off my list.

[LeslieR]

This is something I think about all the time. It's funny to me the names that we have deemed off limits because a close friend or family member used that name while at the same time, everyone and their brother in DH's Italian family is named Frank, Anthony, or Sal (Salvatore).:rolleyes: In Italian families it is tradition to name the first born son after his grandfather. Some follow it and others don't (we didn't; BIL didn't). DH's cousin married an Italian guy whose parents are 1st generation. He has two brothers and every single one of them named their first son Rocco after the grandfather. So, basically, there are 3 little Roccos running around. I don't know how they differentiate!

For us: I love the name Jacob, but we can't use that because DH's nephew is Jake. We love the name Jack, but one of my good friends just named her baby Jack. I love the name Noah, but my youngest cousin's name is Noah. We're essentially left with no names because they're all "taken". This is just personal preference to us. On the flip side, it wouldn't bother me at all of if someone named their son the same name as DS.

[hmbay]

Well DH is from a bigger family and there have been a lot of boys born. We struggled with both son's names. With DS2 we were down to two names in the hospital: Alexander and Brayden. He had a friend who had a son named Brayden and he had one cousin we rarely see with a son named Alexander. We chose Alexander and THEN found out that two cousins he does see also had sons named Alexander (R had just had the baby recently and I don't think anyone told us what she named him and P always called the boy Zander so we honestly thought he was named Zander and that Zander was not short for anything). Ooops. Oh well. Too late now. We only see R and P once or twice a year so although I'm almost wishing now we'd picked Brayden what's done is done.

[jdevaz]

I think it depends on how many people have the name. For years, by DH and I had chosen the name Olivia for a girl, if we ever had one. Then five, yes FIVE, cousins on both sides named their daughters Olivia within 18 months. We just decided that there are too many names out there to have our daughter be confused with one of her cousins. It didn't help that two of them had the same last name as us as well.

[BTB]

Then five, yes FIVE, cousins on both sides named their daughters Olivia within 18 months.

I generally agree that people get too worked up about family members sharing names, but there is a line somewhere and the above is definitely beyond it! In that situation I'd look elsewhere for names too, there are so many nice ones.

In the end, though, I think that because people feel differently about this, and some do feel strongly about it, that it's more important to take your particular family's feelings into consideration than to be "right" that no one has dibs on a name. If SIL, for example, feels strongly that her wee one be the only one in the family with a certain name, is your own child having a certain name really more important than her feelings? It just doesn't seem worth causing any family strife.

[karlatta]

To me, it depends on if the name is still a "name" or if I've started to identify it with a particular person/child.

For example, I love the name Mason. One of my good friends named her son Mason. I still love the name, but when I hear or see if, I picture her son. (I spent a lot of time with them, so I know him well.) It's become "his" name, and I don't think I can use it on my child.

If someone wants to use the same name I do, that's fine with me.

[Medako]

We had the first boy for a LONG in our circle of friends and family. We didn't tell anyone the name before he was born and we got lots of "don't name him x, y, or z - that's what we want to use when/if we have a boy". It was kinda annoying. In reality, we were going to name our child whatever we wanted (turns out DS's name wasn't on anyone's "do-not-use" list).

Would I be bothered if someone used the same name we did? To be honest, probably (if it were close in the family/friends. I wouldn't mind so much if it were more distant friends that we don't see often.). There are so many names out there, it's not that hard to come up with something different.

[mmm0708]

My DH and I didn't have any restrictions. We considered names that were already used within the family. Not using a name that a friend used wouldn't even occur to me. If I like the name, so be it. The only name we veto-d was my DH's male cousin, as the same last name would have been the same as well.

[flygirl]

I've considered this issue, but every time I worry about possible confusion I think about how many damn Jennifers there are. Obviously no one in the '70s was concerned about sharing names.

The five Olivias is a bit much, but since they're on separate sides of the family, it probably doesn't seem so strange to them.

[Chelsea524]

For me, we are really close to all of our siblings, seeing then at least once a week if not more. So using the same name there we just wouldn't do, but our cousins we wouldn't care about a repeat in a name. The only exception I have to that is if they would have the same last name, I wouldn't want them to have the same first name too. My 2nd ds has the same name as one of dhs friends, he thought it was pretty cool to have a baby named after him, even though thats not why we chose that name. There is one name I have crossed off my list for boys names because ex-dh just informed us he is using it for his baby due in a couple months, its a name that we both liked when we were married, I guess he got to if first, no biggie.

I really hate the whole, you can't use that name, I am going to use it if I ever have a girl. DHs sister has done that for years on the name Reese that everyone in the family likes because it is after their dad who passed away, she's not even sure she will have another kid, let alone a girl but has thrown a fit anytime someone mentions that name.

[jdevaz]

regarding the 5 Olivia's - 4 of them are on my DH's side.
all of them don't see each other that often, but we see all of the them quite a bit.

[Txfish]

I guess I'd say if the same name was getting used within one family, I'd want some pretty decent separation -- different generations, distant cousins or just people you don't see a lot. I'd consider that kind of duplication. I'd never dupe a name that close relatives or friends/neighbors have. I'm pretty sensitive to name popularity and work to find names that are nowhere near the Top 50 -- I'd definitely get bent if people started taking my names.

No one in my family re-uses names at all -- it would definitely be weird for anyone to start it now. We have one overlap that I'm aware of, and it's like 2nd or 3rd cousins who lived in different countries: Andrew and Andres. And everyone of us is a little sensitive to having something that's not wildly popular, so we would never dream of stealing a name that someone loves. That even goes for extended -- I pay attention to the names in my BIL's families, so my sis's don't have dupes to deal with. (My dh's family, on the other hand is full of Williams, *all* called Bill, and Jennifer/Jennys and everyone's middle name is Rose. Isn't tradition grand.)

I even hate it when a name I've picked and love ends up on a popular TV character, because I hate the endless future of "oh, did you name her after...." and of course the potential for the name trend explosion. Enter Emma, the Friends baby.

[coquelicot]

DH loves the name Ethan, but two of our friends have already used it for their babies. We might still use it, though, because it would still be the first Ethan in either of our families. I could take it or leave it. He knows a Garren, and he decides that if we had a second son, he'd like to use it. I'm more reluctant on that one because the parents probably wanted something original for their son.

As for William--heck, if you like the name, go for it. It's not like there aren't 50,687,376 other Williams out there already. Not to mention the numerous nicknames you can generate from it to distinguish your son from others (love the Liam nickname, by the way!). Or you could just do what my ILs did with DH--call him by his middle name.

That being said, though, there are some names that are off-limits for us. Kathryn (or any spelling thereof) being one of them. It's just too stinkin' common in DH's family. Not only am I a Kathryn, but DH's grandmother is as well, and as a result, DH has an Aunt Kathy, a cousin with the middle name of Kathryn, a niece with a middle name of Katherine, and a cousin's daughter with it as her real first name. Just too confusing. And we probably won't do Elizabeth, either, because it's the middle name of both his niece and a cousin's daughter, and the first name of another cousin.

I told DH that if he wants to name a daughter after his grandmother, either use her maiden name (which, slightly re-spelled, is a nice girl's name) or her given first name (Rosa). A bit more on the original side.

[AttyGrl74]

We have chosen to use family names - our daughters are named after our grandmothers.

It would be natural for others in our family to have the same name. But they don't.

Now my HS BFF was going to use DD#1's name as her baby's middle name, but chose not to because of my daughter. I wouldn't have minded. I probably would have ribbed her to no end though, claiming that her daughter was named for mine! :D

[Sophia]

I don't know how I feel about this. I don't think people "own" the right to use names (except for senior, junior, II, etc), but I prefer to use names that aren't already in use in my family/friends circle.

[BeachBum]

After having a child already, I would be more inclined (than I was before DS was born) to use a name that someone else used. I guess now I see first hand how important having a name you love is. I have also seen how close friendships can change, people can move, or the child gets a nickname that would prevent a duplicate in the first place.
I wouldn't name my child the same first name as his cousin, but other than that I am pretty open.

[stevesbabygirl]

I don't know how I feel about this. I don't think people "own" the right to use names (except for senior, junior, II, etc), but I prefer to use names that aren't already in use in my family/friends circle.

I agree with this. We don't have any repeat names on either side of the family, except for one Jessica on my side and one on his side. The name we picked for our DS-to-be isn't used by anyone in the family, nor is it particularly liked :rolleyes:. Our girls name is very similar to the name of my cousin's daughter, but that's about as close as it gets for us.

[eponymous]

Friendships come and go over the years, but your child's name is going to be stuck with them forever: it's often the first and occasionally the only thing that people will learn about someone else, all through their lives.

[scubasam]

Honestly, I think using whatever name you want, regardless of who used/is going to use it, is totally your perogative and is ok if it's a name you feel strongly about.

Personally, because I grew up a Jennifer, I want my kids to have first names that are at least unique enough that they're not going to have 5 of the same in their classes growing up. Middle names can be the same as anyone and I don't mind. DS' middle name is the same as his dad, grandfather and great-grandfather. Of course, that is in the sense of carrying on a tradition but there are a couple other family members w/ the same name that aren't part of that tradition.

If DC#2 is a girl, her middle name will be the same as my sister, my sister-in-law, 2 separate friend's daughters and several other people we know. Even w/ the similarity to other people, it's a name that is special to me and I want my daughter to be named after my sister and I'll have no problem using it.

If DC#2 is a boy, we're going to have a really hard time w/ a first name b/c many of the names we like are already taken by very close friends. Again, if the name meant a lot to me, I'd have no problem using it but I'd also want to ease confusion for children that will grow up together.

A bf of mine named one of her twins the same name that her hubby's cousin named one of her twins. It caused a little family squabble but when it came down to it, bf used the name b/c it is her father's name and again, it went back to a special tradition for her and not about using her cousin-in-law's name. And, the fact that the cousin is in New Zealand, bf is in the US and the kids won't often see each other, they seriously couldn't see a big issue.

I do think that it's a very touchy subject for some people though and I can respect why. One of my other bf's had a name that she loved for YEARS for her someday daughter and right before she found out what DC#1 was, she heard that a good friend of hers used the name as her daughter was born. Bf was sooo upset and I totally understood it. Her friend knew the importance of that name to her and completely disregarded her feelings....and had no known reason for choosing this name other than she thought it was pretty. Bf ended up having 2 boys and is done having kids so in the end it didn't matter but it's the principal. Now she jokes w/ me that if my DC#2 is a girl, I should steal the name from this other girl. ;)

[jesvet]

It would be weird to me if a close family member (sibling or cousin I was close to) named their kid the same name because we would probably be encountering them for the rest of our lives. But I wouldn't tell them NO you can't do it.

I agree people are ridiculously possessive. My mom and her best friend both had daughters, three months apart, and both chose the name Jessica. We saw each other a lot growing up and it was no big deal. Unless the name is copyright protected, it's fair game!

[Tonysweetie]

The name we picked for our DS is a family name but it hasn't raised any issues. Also a friend of mine had a baby back in October who named her son his name also. Of course she had it picked first but a mutual friend of ours emailed me and told me I couldn't name our son that b/c she had already named her son. I was apalled. Who really cares about that sorta thing? We didn't pick it b/c she named her son that, we pickd it b/c we liked it. :rolleyes:

[pocahontas]

My mom and her best friend both had daughters, three months apart, and both chose the name Jessica. We saw each other a lot growing up and it was no big deal. Unless the name is copyright protected, it's fair game!LOL...and this is EXACTLY how I got my name. :D My mom knew a lady who delivered her daughter in January and used the name Felicia which my mother had already chosen for my name, but I wasn't due 'til April (then came late in May anyway). My mom is the type who likes to be original. So she scrapped that name lest she be thought of as a copy cat and didn't decide on a name for me until she was sitting in the hospital room and the lady who was sharing the room with her had a book of girl names (but she had no use for it since she'd had a boy). So she gave it to my mom who immediately saw my name and fell in love because it began with the same letter as her name and she wanted at least one child whose name was close to hers. (My older 2 siblings were named for their father).

In like fashion, I am truly my mother's child...all about originality. :) So...no I would never WANT to knowingly use a name already circulating around my family or circle of friends. (It's already bad enough my DH is adamant about a junior). :rolleyes: And the amusing thing about it is...he won't allow me to utter the 2 girls names we've chosen for fear of someone taking them and using them on their kids. LOL :p (They are not the popular "you hear 'em every day" kinds of names and in fact I've only seen ONE CC'er EVER use one of the names which must be some kind of record. lol ;) Luckily, she and I aren't in the same state.)

[mindy75]

The line I draw is among close family members and close friends with regard to names that have no significance. My SIL had twins, she named one of them Taylor. Her cousin had a little girl and named her Madison. Then their younger cousing named her dd Taylor Madison. Come on now?! These people are close and that child will never have her own name. I don't think that's fair. However, there are a few family names that we might use as mns. My dad's name is John, so is my bro and my grandfather. None of my cousins have used it, I guess they think we have dibs. :p We wouldn't care if they did use it. Through the history of my family the fb son is named John in one way or another. My bro doesn't plan on having children, so if I had a son, I'd totally use it. Even if he did use it, I'd still make it part of my son's name. I did get annoyed by people calling dibs on names when I was pregnant with DD. If you havent' used it yet, then it's still up for grabs IMO. I suggested the name Olivia to a friend of mine a few years ago. She used it and it's pretty common now. That takes it off the list for me. Even though DD is bound to encounter someone else in the world with her name at some point or another, I would prefer it not to be her cousin or my best friend's little girl.

[lml41981]

I would be thrilled if someone close to me chose to name their DD Natalie. It is a great name.

When we get pg again, if it is a boy, he will be named for my grandfathers. My cousin's son is also named for my paternal grandfather, but I don't care. I have just as much right to that name as she does. Also, if we have a girl, she'll be named for my grandmothers. My cousin is named for my paternal grandmother, but again, she's my grandmother and I can use the name if I want to. I happen to really like the name Victoria. We may even call her Tori, which is my cousin's nickname.

[Janey]

This was actually kind of an issue for us recently.

Both my cousin-in-law and I are (were) pregnant at the same time -- her with her second and me with my first. I have had a name picked out since I was 22 or so. We see them about twice a year. She gave birth 2 months before me, and named her baby a 'nickname' of my name (Say, frex, she named her baby Allie and I wanted to name my baby Allison, and use the nn Allie). They knew I was going to use that name; I knew the nickname was on their list, but only because we'd just discussed it at Thanksgiving. My whole extended family collectively sucked in their breath and turned and looked at me to see what my reaction was going to be.

I basically shrugged and said I probably wouldn't have done what they did, but having them name their daughter Allie is certainly not going to change the plans I've had for the past twelve years. I will admit I'm a little annoyed for my 89 year old grandmother, in that she will have to keep two Allies straight, but that's not anybody's "fault," (especially since I'm not even certain I'm having a girl!) and it still isn't going to make me change my plans.

[dionysia]

I'm with Sophia.

There are 3 members of my family with the same first name (David/Dave). My uncle, my cousin (uncle's brother's son), and my husband. For years, we called my uncle Big Dave and my cousin Little Dave. Well, then my cousin grew up to be taller than my uncle and I got married. ;) So now we call them David A., David C., and Dave S.

My best friend from childhood named her daughter the same name I want to give a future daughter. But she spells it a little differently than the spelling I like and the nickname they use for their daughter is a different one than I would use. Plus she lives half the country away. ;)

Di

[Neen]

My ex-SIL did this to me. I had chosen the name Alexis (my mom's middle name) when I was pregnant with #2. Well we had a boy. She got pregnant and named her daughter Alexis. When I got pregnant again, I told my then husband that if this baby was a girl I was naming it Alexis and I didn't care if his sister had used the name. Well, we had another boy so it wasn't an issue.

I wasn't over protective of the name, it just had special meaning to me and was going to use it.

[Kanga]

I think it depends if the name is a family name or not. Elizabeth and William are family names in my family so there's a few of us named Elizabeth/William or some variation of the name. The names have been in the family for generations and nobody wants them to die out so it's pretty much an unwritten rule in my family that if you choose either of those names you can't exactly expect that no one else will ever choose it.

Other than Elizabeth and William we don't have any repeats unless they were married into the family so I can't see anybody starting now. We named dd#1 Daytona and no one else in either of our families are race fans so I'd be surprised if someone in the family used it, but I wouldn't be upset. The vast majority of our friends are race fans so I could maybe see one of them saying they had already decided on the name before dd was born or that they just happen to like it and want to use it but it isn't likely and I wouldn't be upset or dissapointed, etc.

Dd#1's middle name is Bailey, the same as the daughter of a friend of ours. I never thought anything of it until a mutual friend of ours 'reminded' me it was B's daughter's name. I told her yes I knew that and didn't see it as a big deal and she just couldn't understand it. Now that's going too far on the possessiveness. B has never said anything to me about it, and I'm not even sure if he knows that's her middle name.

[maplekitty]

when i got pregnant i first thought i wanted to name dd abigail (we eventually chose it as a second name because its so popular right now - and i always hated being one of 2 or 3 sarah's). anyways, i chose this name because my mom who had passed away 2 years earlier name was gail. when i told my group of gfs, everyone thought that was so nice, except one friend who said "noooooo, that's the name ive always wanted to name my daughter" - um, news to me, but whatever. and even after naming my daughter after my deceased mom, she still was insistant on using the name aswell "one day" when she has a girl......whatever! :rolleyes:

[Bibay626]

Ashamed to admit that I tried to "claim" names in the past! But I was never rude about it like the stories you ladies have shared! I never said a mean thing to someone that mentioned one of "my" names LOL =) I guess that's kinda normal, so long as you don't get too possesive!

I did subtly let people know of our possible baby names over the years and more so now that we're expecting. I agree that I kinda draw the line when it is close family members. It gets too confusing!

In the end, it's everyone's right to name their baby what they choose, especially if it is a sentimental name.

[lauren f s]

This is an issue for us right now.

DD is named for my grandmother, Ava. I picked her name and while DH didn't care for it, he let me use it because it was special to me. However, he claimed naming rights for DS. He chose James, after his uncle who helped raise him.

My nephew's name is James Connor, but he goes by Connor. NOBODY knows that his first name is James. I didn't even realize it until several weeks after we'd decided to use the name. When I told her what we were naming DS she was furious, telling me that by us using the name James it made her son's name less special. She kept after me for weeks, harassing me and insisting we use something different. We're not. I understand her irritation, but James is basically his middle name and I do not think middle names are relavent in this case. She asked how I'd feel if she had a daughter and named her Elizabeth (DD's middle name). Why would I care? It's her middle name! Ava would upset me, but not Elizabeth. My nephew never goes by James and if one person did call him James, I absolutely would not use it.

I think she threw such a fit and was so upset because I wouldn't cave in. She's very used to throwing fits and getting her way and when I wouldn't change anything, she got more upset. What she wasn't understanding, though, is that this is DH's choice. Not mine. If it were mine, I'd have probably changed to avoid the drama. But I do think she over reacted a bit.

[stevesbabygirl]

Lauren,

I'm sorry, but that's just ridiculous! James is a family name, and it has special meaning. Plus, it's not exactly an obscure name that no one in the world has ever used. Good for you for not caving in!

[lauren f s]

stevesbabygirl: Isn't that crazy?! It almost makes me wish we'd kept the name to ourselves until after he was born!

[stevesbabygirl]

That is pretty ridiculous. Maybe it's good though because she will have had enough time to get used to it before he makes his arrival.

[Tenny]

"Claiming" names gets on my nerves. We named out DS Andy (yup, just Andy) and my nephew's name is actually Andrew. But nobody ever calls him Andy they always call him Andrew. I did "ask" my sister before hand and she was fine with it.

DS full name is Andy Cole and a friend who was due a few months after me called and asked if I would mind if they named their son Cole. I said I didn't care one bit so they named their son Cole.

The funny part is my nephew's full name is Andrew Alexander, my DS's name is Andy Cole and BF son's name is Cole Alexander. My nephew thinks it the coolest thing in the world that all these babies are named after him! :D If he only knew the truth was we just all liked the names!

[lady1297]

My SIL named her youngest (of 8) John after her husbands family I believe. I just named my youngest John after my Dad, Uncle, and Great Grandfather. I don't care a bit about using the name, she didn't like it. Her comment was "Well, guess we'll call him John Albert, since mine is John" Well, whatever. Call him anything you want, his name is John until we decide if we want a nickname. This is the same SIL that intentially took her own sister's girl name and used it as a middle name, one of 3 middle names she gave her youngest daughter-because she could I guess...I mean, who needs 3 middle names?????? Yeah, I have no sympathy at all...don't care a lick!!

FYI: My mom's generation has 4 cousins named John, all called John and none of them cared or were confused.

[AndreaMMS]

I guess I'm in the minority. Personally, I would be very annoyed if a close family member wanted to name their child "Naomi," since one of the reasons we chose it is because it isn't that popular (I went to the Social Security website and if a name we liked was in the top 100 we took it off the list), and we made a point of letting everyone know that that was part of our criteria. It's a pet peeve of mine and my husband's - I hated being one of three girls named "Andrea" in my classes in elementary school. My husband had it even worse- my husband, his father, his cousin AND his cousin's father are all named Richard! So finding a name that was at least somewhat unique was important to both of us.

If it was a friend wanting to use it - particularly one whom we didn't see often- I would be less annoyed.

However, I pay the same respect to my family and close friends- if I know a name is on the top of their list I won't consider it.

[LexyLou]

I was just thinking about this.

I think honestly a couple of factors are important.

1) How common the name is. Like if I pick a really unique name and then my cousin uses it, yes, I would be annoyed. But if it was a more common Top 10 name then I don't think I win any originality points and have to be willing to share the name with others.

2) How close I am to the person.


I have had a boys name picked out since before DD was born. We knew if she was a boy we would name her this and now that we are pregnant with #2 we know that we will name him it also if it's a boy.

In our playgroup we have a little boy who is DD's age who has the name we want to use. I already told the mom I was going to name my DC that if it's a boy. She didn't care at all.

Also, my good friend here just had her baby boy on Friday and named him a very similar name. Before she had her baby (she didn't find out the sex), we discussed names and discovered we both liked a similar name and neither one cared.

The name isn't a Top 10 but it's not a super unique name either...If these girls were family members I wouldn't name DS this name but since they are friends I will.

This sounds horrible but also, they are here in NJ and we only plan on being here 2 years more AT MOST. So although I hope to keep the friendships with these ladies, our children won't be interacting on a daily basis throughout their lives, which is another reason why I'm ok with them having the same/similar names.

[eli1126]

1) How common the name is. Like if I pick a really unique name and then my cousin uses it, yes, I would be annoyed. But if it was a more common Top 10 name then I don't think I win any originality points and have to be willing to share the name with others.

When my sister was pg for DD #1, they did not tell anyone the name they picked. My cousin who is not pg and has no plans to be pg in the near future told my sister "It better not be Emma because that's my name if I have a DD." My sister told her that she hated to burst her bubble, but that it was about 80% of the population's name as it was the number 1 name that year :p

While I do think it is silly for people or family members to claim names, I think that naming my own children the same name as someone else, would depend on a few things. How close you are to the family member would be a factor for me. My DNs' names are Madison, Macey, Rhiley, and Mia. I wouldn't use any of those names for my future children. They will be close to their cousins and it would get too confusing. However, there are family names that I think everyone in the family has a right to. I probably wouldn't use a family name as a first name if a family member I am close with and my child will see often has already used it for a first name, but I would consider it for a middle name.

[Lisa]

I dont know what to think...we are the first on both sides to have kids. We of course have heard SIL, sister extended family mention their claimed names;) I think it would annoy me if someone in my close family named there kid the same first names as mine but i dont think I really say anything either. As far as friends I think its all fair game. My DH thinks we should be happy if someone like the name enough. We do have some name over laps with DH's cousins and I wanted to name this DS andrew and I have a cousin just Drew not andrew and I still do it. I dont see him much and I know he could care less.

[MizLarner]

For me, it depends on how close I am to the parents or how often I expect our children will be together. I won't name my kids the same name as a kid at church, unless there is a large difference in age.

[spps]

It wouldn't bother me at all if someone used the name we were going to use. In fact my BIL and SIL choose to named their son Avi, 2 months before we were going to name our son Avi. Since we had picked the name in memory of my grandfather and they just liked it we didn't care and used it anyway. FWIW at the time we lived about 5 minutes from each other and the kids got together about once a week.

[kristin]

My older sister named her son John Ryan a year after we had our John Patrick (who we call Jack). It's our father's name. My mom told me that she was very upset after we named our son (we did not discuss names with our family beforehand) because she felt entitled to use it for her future son (although she wasn't even pregnant at the time). I think that's ridiculous.

When her son was born she told me his name was J. Ryan, and that they would call him Ryan. When I asked what the J was for, she said they just liked the way J Ryan sounded. I don't know how she thought she could keep the charade up, because even their Christmas cards are signed "and John Ryan". Everyone called him John Ryan for the first few months of his life, and now everyone calls him "Bubba" (don't ask). I would have appreciated her being a little more upfront about it.

That being said I was royally pissed for about a year. But I never said anything, because really, they are not going to change their child's name because I'm not happy about it. My sister and I are very close, which makes the situation all that more odd.

I have had plenty of people who are close to us use John or Jack, and it does not bother me at all, since the name is so common. My DD's name is very unusual, and we have had friends ask us if we minded if they used the name (but they all had boys) and we wouldn't mind at all. But my sister? Yep, I minded alot!!!! I guess it's one of those things you have to suck it up and get over it.

[KK812]

That is pretty weird kristin.

I think if you know that someone close to you plans on using a certain name, than you should try to avoid using it. I don't mean it's on their short list, but that it's THE name they're going to use.

When my sister was expecting, she and her husband were tossing around names when we were out to lunch. They wanted a name that started with a C, and then asked if we have thought about names for our future children. I said yea, if we have a son we think it will be Cxxxx. Her DH turned to her and "whispered" "Hmm, how about Cxxxx?"(the name I just said)! I had to force myself not to let my mouth hang wide open in shock. Fortunately, they had a girl, but said that if they ever have a boy they will name it Cxxxx or a variation of Cxxxx. It made my blood boil at the time, but now I don't even care(ok, I care a little, but can you blame me?!).

[stevesbabygirl]

kk812,
Wow, that's pretty brazen!

[pontmarie]

Okay, so long story - couple A are really good friends with us, couple B are really good friends with couple A, i.e. we are not good friends with couple B and only see them when couple A have a party.

We were at couple A's at a get together and said what we were planning to name DS1 (Aidan) - immediately, wife B jumped and said, loudly, "no! that's what we want to name ours!!!"

She wasn't pregnant and as far as I know, she still hasn't had kids, but it just bugged me that she was basically yelling at us for taking "her" name. I just looked at her and said, "oh honey, we only see each other when we visit couple A so our kids might never even meet." Everyone laughed but she was really upset that we were taking her name. I should have told her that Aidan (and variations) has been really popular and she was going to meet other Aidans no matter what.

[TazLuv]

I think if it is a family name no one has any right to get mad at you. If its not a family name then I agree it depends on the relationship of the children and what they're going to be called. However, with that said we have a girl's name picked out and we're not telling anyone what it is unless we have two children and neither are girls. Boys names are a whole other story, I don't know what we'll do.