Going Crazy RE: Napping

[MidwesternGal]

Okay, I'm going absolutely nuts.

DS has NEVER been a good napper. When he was really little (think 4 weeks and under), he'd just fall asleep playing on his blanket.

Now, however, at 3.5 months, he pretty much refuses to take an afternoon nap. It's driving me crazzzzy, having to "entertain" a 3.5 month old from basically 10:30 a.m. until 7:30 at night!!!!!!!!

He will usually get up for the day at around 7-8 a.m. He goes down for a nap between 9 and 10, and it's usually only a half an hour.

I feed him at around 12:30/1 p.mish. He is pretty tired by then, and sometimes dozes off while eating (BF). I rub his back and his ears to keep him awake.

I will rock him a bit and then when he's either asleep or very drowsy, lay him down. Two seconds later, his eyes POP open, and he's up. He will NOT go back down. He'll play quietly sometimes, sucking on a paci, for a while, until fussiness sets in again. I'll feed him around 3 again, but he'll do the stupid 10 minute nap while eating and then be awake for the rest of the evening, pretty much fussy the whole rest of the day from 3 p.m. on.

What do I do to get him to take a nap in the afternoon?

FWIW, he DOES STTN at least 6 days a week. (He wakes when DH's 8 thousand snooze alarms go off, but I bring him to bed with me and he sleeps for another hour or so). So his bedtime is 7:30/8 p.m. and then he comes to bed with me around 5:30/6, then up for the day around 7-8.

I realize there are others who are dealing with no STTN, but I *really* need a shower!!

[babylove]

I'm sorry you are having a rough time getting your little guy to nap :( My DS isn't the world's best napper either. I figure that if he STTN that's good enough for me...but then again, I'm at work 3 1/2 days a week so I'm not the one who has to entertain him on those days when he won't nap...but I digress...I know this might not be the most popular approach (no flaming please!), but have you tried letting him cry for a little while? Some people say you have to wait until 6 mo to really let them CIO, but we tried this with DS when he was around your son's age and it really worked (ok, so not for naps, but at night it worked!). Good luck!

[PinkMartini]

I agree with Babylove... My DS is almost the same age as yours and we've had to let him cry in his bed for a little bit to get him to sleep a few times. He's a crappy sleeper as well and he still doesn't STTN. Naps are just as bad. I've found that letting him 'wear himself out' by crying for 5-10 min's actually gets him to sleep.

And I'm home with him all day as well, so I know exactly what ya mean when you say 'entertain' him all day long...

[jennylou]

I'll give some non-CIO advice. At that age, I didn't set DD down for naps. She'd wake up. I'd use the bouncy chair after bfing. If she started to wake up, bounce. She'd fall asleep for a little while, but I might have to bounce again to keep her napping more than a few minutes.

As for showering, I believe it was about that age that she started coming into the shower with me.

Oh, and my maitai at that point was good while we were out of the house. :)

[Ericka_Jarett]

midwestern - have you tried letting him nap on his tummy? I know Easton sleeps better on his tummy, he will take a 2 hour nap and 2 - 30-45 min naps everyday. I agree with letting your DS fuss (not that he is outright screaming) a bit, does them good sometimes.

If you want a shower just put him in a safe place and if he fusses so be it, get your shower, he will be ok.

I stay at home all day so also know about entertaining all day. Easton goes between laying on the counch, jumping in his jumperoo, laying on his mat on the floor and his swing.

It will get better.

[babylove]

I agree with Ericka...as long as your son is in a safe place and you know he is ok, it's fine to let him cry a bit while you shower...crying isn't bad for them, just hard to hear as a mommy!

[Delta]

My son is your son's age and he sleeps in the swing.

I nurse him or bounce him to sleep and then set him in the swing (the cradle one.) Sometimes he wakes up but 90% of the time the swing puts him back to sleep.

Why do you wake him up when he falls alseep breastfeeding?

[smurf]

At that age, the only way I could get my daughter to sleep was in the sling. I just stuck her in there (a mei tai), bounced her a bit, and she'd be out in no time. Sometimes I could transfer her to the crib, but sometimes I just kept her in it for an hour or so while she napped.

[MidwesternGal]

Well, later today I tried to let him cry in his crib but he screamed bloody murder until I finally went up 15 minutes later. Got him up, rocked him a bit, put him down semi-drowsy. RAN downstairs, grabbed a shower, and by the time I was out 10 minutes later, he was up. . . AGAIN!!

Ericka--We had to buy a sleep positioner to put around him at night because he wakes himelf up screaming when he rolls onto his tummy. I tried for a few days to get him to sleep on his tummy at night, but he refuses to lay his head to the side. I haven't tried it for a nap after being drowsy though. I will give it a shot tomorrow.

Delta--I want him to be awake for BFing because sometimes the problem is that he falls asleep and is still hungry when I lay him down. So then we start all over. I want to be able to feed him until he's full, then lay him down for a nap. I have a small WAHM job and things to get done (besides showering, LOL) while he's sleeping, so I can't be starting the whole process over every 1/2 hour because he is still hungry.

Oh yeah. He hasn't fallen asleep in the swing or bouncy in about a month.

[maybebaby]

This also may not be the most popular answer, but to me, it seems pretty frustrating to "fight" the baby so much...babies often just aren't good sleepers at a young age, and I don't know if there's something you can do to "fix" it.

Itsounds like he's cranky because he's overtired. If he wasn't cranky or fussy, I'd probably let him stay awake and not worry about it. MyDD sometimes seems in really good spirits all day, doesn't want to nap, and I just go with the flow. Most days, she does take a couple of naps. The few times I have felt like she really "needed" a nap and she wouldn't take one, I would take her out in the stroller until she fell asleep and then bring the carseat into the house and she finishes the nap in the house in a dark room (still in the carseat).

On the shower problem, I used to bring my DD into the bathroom in her bouncy seat until recently (when she figured out how to get out of the bouncy seat!). Now I usually fill her baby bathtub with blankets and toys and she plays pretty happily in there on the floor, right next /outside of my shower.

[Delta]

Yeah, with one baby I used to wait to shower until he was asleep, but now with two kids I do it when I can, even if that means the baby is hanging in the swing and my toddler is watching TV.


Delta--I want him to be awake for BFing because sometimes the problem is that he falls asleep and is still hungry when I lay him down. So then we start all over. I want to be able to feed him until he's full, then lay him down for a nap. I have a small WAHM job and things to get done (besides showering, LOL) while he's sleeping, so I can't be starting the whole process over every 1/2 hour because he is still hungry.

Oh yeah. He hasn't fallen asleep in the swing or bouncy in about a month.Yeah, doesn't really fall asleep in the swing either, but he tends to stay asleep when I put him in there more easily and longer than he does just laying down on a flat surface.

Have you tried nursing laying down and then sliding away when he's asleep? That's what I always did with my first.

[Sevilla]

Would he fall asleep in a baby carrier? That's what I did with my DS for naps from when he was born until a few weeks ago (he dropped to just one nap and stays asleep great now, whereas he wouldn't before).

It actually worked wayyyy better than trying to lay him down on his own. In a carrier he would take good length naps (over an hour) and wouldn't wake up/startle at noises like the phone ringing, me unloading the dishwasher, etc... But laying down he startled at the smallest things and woke up and was overtired. I decided that what was most important was him getting the sleep he needed, not him sleeping laying down alone. So I did what worked and i'm glad i did - it made things a lot easier all around.

When I had him in a carrier my hands were free to get work done/clean up/ etc... (the only thing i couldn't do was shower, but i would shower when he was awake). I think using a carrier would be a good option for you since it sounds like he'll fall asleep on you. What happens if you let him fall asleep at the breast and *don't* delatch him. Does he suck in his sleep? My DS did that if he was still hungry. I would often sit on the bed with him nursing/napping in my lap and surfing the internet with my other hand. I logged lots of CC hours his first few months ;). A mei tai like www.babyhawk.com would be great (they come in all kinds of colors and patterns).

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v452/Champagnepunch/Babywearing%20Thread%20Pics/double.jpg

Honestly - i think the concept of being able to 'lay the baby down for a nap and having them sleep on their own for an hour or two' is not as common as you might think. I know so many parents whose babies weren't great nappers and who just did whatever it took to get them to sleep. And i would not do CIO at this young of an age. I believe 5-6 months is the time when the CIO experts recommend starting.

ETA: I second trying to cosleep for one nap per day - that should help him get at least one good sleep in. He'll stir between each sleep cycle, so having you there to nurse him back to sleep/soothe him back to sleep should help. Also, i think you're keeping him awake too long. Until he's older he shouldn't (ideally) go more than 2 hours between naps. So if he wakes up from nap #1 at 10:00am, he should be already asleep by noon (not starting a nap routine/being fed - already fed and asleep. you'd start feeding him a half hour or so before the '2 hour mark' b/c otherwise he'll most likely get overtired and you'll end up with him cranky and not sleeping well). You'll have to adjust the times you're feeding him to be closer to 2 hours apart instead of 3 hours.

[Ericka_Jarett]

Midwestern - I wouldn't try the nighttime sleeping on him just yet. I didn't do that with Easton until late last week and he is 5 months now. I was able to leave him nap on his tummy, since he always turned his head, even in the very beginning, as in the hospital they had him on his tummy occassionally. Just start with a nap and pat his back a little and see how he does.

Hope something works for you. I am fortunate in that Easton falls asleep in his swing and will sleep for an hour or more if I let him, I can lay him down and he will just talk and possibly even fuss a little and drift off to sleep and he will even fall asleep in his jumperoo sometimes, just jumps and plays so much that he wears himself out. CIO (outright screaming or tears streaming) and fussing (just little noises and movement) are different in my sense of the words. I don't let Easton CIO unless we are driving and I can't get him a bottle or his pacifier (will when we stop)

Easton falls asleep in the baby carriers when we use it if we are out and about, will usually sleep the whole time. I have been holding him until he falls asleep as of lately, because of his teething. He has been taking a pacifier since birth. We try to push off giving it him if possible, but when he wants soothing it's either the paci or his fist he goes for.

I know you have a swing, do you have a bouncer or jumperoo? I know for us Easton can spend an hour in his jumperoo and be a happy little guy. I sit in front of him for a while and will talk to him while he is in it (even when I am in the room next door) so he has my attention and interaction still. The bouncer we use when I want a shower and he is awake.

Your doing great, he will adjust. Easton is not really on a schedule for anything, just sort of makes his own schedule.

[MidwesternGal]

Sevilla--I like the idea of being able to carry him around while working. The only problem with that is he's all ready close to 20 pounds (yup, a big boy!) and I wonder if something like that will make my back hurt??

I've tried to do the 2 hour up and down schedule but he would scream and scream.

Delta, I will try putting him in the swing while he's asleep and see if it keeps him asleep. I never thought of that before!!

We do have a bouncer, but DS is starting to try and sit up in it, so I decided I'd rather not have him in that (it says not to use if baby can sit up). We have a doorway jumper--there are no activities on it, but a tray where I can place toys. We got it out yesterday and he was less than enthused. We do have a walker (I blocked the wheels from moving) and sometimes he entertains himself with that for 15 minutes or so, but if he's fussy, it doesn't help.

Oh, and like maybebaby mentioned, if he was happy and cheery most of the time he was awake, this wouldn't be an issue--I woulnd't have to stop and move him around or calm him or listen to fussiness while trying to get my work done! I'm perfectly happy to go about my day with a happy awake baby!

If the long naps thing is not as common as people make it seem, then when does it become normal? It seems like everyone I know tells me that I should "cherish" his naps because when "he gets older" he'll be even harder to put down. Ack!!

Thanks so much for your help so far ladies--I am open to all suggestions and ideas!

[Sevilla]

My DS is 20 lbs and i can carry him for a few hours no problem in a mei tai like above :). As long as you get a quality carrier*** that distributes the weight well, you can carry even heavier toddlers comfortably. (***not something sold in stores like target or bru. I'd recommend either a Babyhawk or Kozy - www.kozycarrier.com)

In the meantime, i think the main thing is to help him catch up on his sleep no matter if he naps in the crib, you drive in the car, you hold him his whole nap (btdt) or you cosleep. When he's sleep deprived it will make it harder for him to have a routine and nap schedule. If you can get him well-rested that will make figuring things out easier.

[Ericka_Jarett]

Midwestern - the 1st day Easton was sure about his jumperoo, but he quickly adjusted, So don't give up on it just yet, keep trying.
good luck