Montessori

[Delta]

Does anyone have their kid(s) in a Montessori school?

Our 3 yo son will be starting in one this month. I love the Montessori method and philosophy. That said, I am apprehensive about one particular aspect about *my* son in a Montessori classroom at this point (he's been in regular preschool for about 1.5 years.)

What concerns me the most is the fact that each set of materials has a certain purpose and can only be used for that purpose. For example, the pink tower blocks can only be used for building the tower, not for knocking down or building something else. Also, obviously there are materials in the classroom that the younger kids cannot use because they are for the older kids. My concern is that there is so much temptation for a curious and active 3 yo that he's going to feel really frustrated. I can certainly see the purpose in this system, but my son tends to be a "my way or the highway" type person.

My hope of course is that this program will help him develop more self-control, but I still have my doubts.

I know it takes time for the kids to get used to the way Montessori works, and the the vast majority of them do learn and are able to use self-control. But still. When I expressed my concerns to his teacher she said he would learn soon enough and she wasn't concerned at all. But I just wanted to see if other parents out there had any other Montessori experiences - good or bad.

[KKay]

My DD began Montessori at 2.5 y.o. and LOVES it. I had similiar concerns about her understanding the concepts of each learning station/negotiating with other kids, etc. However, she caught on to the system quickly and is learning a lot.

[vancouvergirl]

A legitimate concern but not to worry. I taught preschool/kindergaten and have observed many Montessori classrooms. All 3 of our children have gone or are currently going to Montessori preschools. If you've ever observed a classroom, it's the funniest thing because it's so quiet and orderly. And no, they have not weeded out the kids who are "movers and groovers"; it is simply an exception system with very well trained teachers. A lot more can be expected from 2, 3 and 4 years olds other than allowing them free reign to run around in dress up clothes and play with blocks. That is great too, don't get me wrong! But for the most part that can happen at home. Children absolutely crave the type of environment found at Montessori and thrive on it. I think of it as developing different strengths and opening up their world as the children become independent thinkers and creative problem solvers. The authentic learning that your son will experrience will keep his attention.

Another concern is that is is too strict but I think this is mostly voiced by parents who have not yet become familiar enough with Montessori. Reading up on Montessori history and methods is strongly encouraged for all prospective parrents. There are lots of books out there. Here is one example: http://www.amazon.com/Montessori-Science-Angeline-Stoll-Lillard/dp/0195168682/sr=1-2/qid=1170356907/ref=pd_bbs_2/104-1253963-3588720?ie=UTF8&s=books

Trust the teachers. They have heard concerns like yours many times and it's something that is addressed properly. But first make sure your school is accredited. There are many "montessori style" programs because Montessori was never copyrighted.

[Delta]

Thanks for your responses!

Yes, it is an accredited AMI school that goes all the way up into upper elem. It's hardcore. ;)

Yesterday we took our son to the classroom for the first time (we'd been in it before) and it was like watching a bull in a china shop. That was my fear, but it was a little worse than I had imagined.

Anyway, he starts the phasing in process in a few weeks. I am eager to see what happens.

[LeighW]

My DD (3 yrs, 9 mos) has been in a montessori preschool since last June. It was summer camp, and then "real" montessori started in Sept. Her school is also AMI accredited. I would call it hardcore (for the montessori part, there's the usual free-for-all aftercare in the afternoons).

I've only observed once, but what her teacher and the director told me is that (a) kids catch on quickly, and (b) there is some leeway when new kids are learning the ropes. They don't expect the new kids to understand and incorporate all the rules at once.

I'm also impressed at how quiet and orderly it is in her classroom. Two teachers and 20 kids. Never chaotic. And all the kids are happy.

My DD loves it. It's amazing to me how quickly she figured things out, so to speak.

Of course, she's still 3. One day she was sent home with a note saying she goofed off too much and purposely broke something. (In case you are worried he'll go overboard and turn into a little robot . . . .).

[vancouvergirl]

Keep us updated! Good luck with everything. :)

[jessmaine]

My daughter goes to a Montessori preschool and she is loving it. I think that they are pretty hardcore as well. She just has learned so much this year. She was in a toddler program last year at the school and this year she has moved into the 3 to 5 class. She is 4 yo. I love it becasue I think that she is learning so much without thinking that she is really learning. She has learned how to write a ton of words and it working on math. It just amazes me that in a class of 25 kids with 3 teachers that it is so quiet. All the kids are so interested in the works and they understand the processes of them. There are a few kids like you describe your son but then seem to be mellow now. The lead teacher is like a child whisperer. She is just the best. I would NEVER send my daughter to another school . Her school is very $$$$ so I looked into a lower cost option and after sitting in the classrooms I was horrified and I knew that Paige would NEVER thrive is a crazy place.
I love it and I am actully thinking of keeping her in the school as long as I can. It goes to third grade.

[lawgirl4]

my husband went to a Montessori school through the end of second grade and LOVED it. However, he was then put into a regular public school for third grade and beyond, and had a *really* hard time transitioning. He's still sad about it! so if you make a committment to an educational philosophy, and your child likes it, be sure to have a long term plan in place... and be sure to consult your child if/when you make a change!

[firefly]

My dd(4 1/2) started montessori last school year. she's in the 3-5 room. I cannot say enough wonderful things about her school. She's in the 'largest' class(35 kids 3 teachers 12:1 ratio) she's still going 1/2 day and it's not as crazy expensive as montessori's in the city but it is the most expensive option in our town. I keep thinking that maybe option x,y or z would be better but then I look at her , and her classroom and her friends and I know this is the right decision. my only regret is that our montessori only goes throught K.

I am seriously considering commuting 1/2 hour each way so they(my younger dd (2) will be starting montessori as soon as there is a space in the 2's room) can continue on through 6th grade.
That being said when my 2 yo comes into p/u or drop off her sister the 2 yo WALKS (running isn't allowed indoors) to the 2's room and begs and begs and begs to go to M's montessori. pease I have allowed her to 'observe' the 2's room and she follows the routine already. walks over tries to hang her coat up, washes her hands sits criss cross on the blue line and waits for instructions. she is able to carry the job trays and stays focused on her job for a good 15 - 20 minutes (things like scooping rice or using tweezers to pick up puff balls) ((She's really into practical life right now) ) and is able to carry her job tray back to it's correct spot and shelve it right.
(braggy mom)
my 4 yo is reading at a beginning first grade level, can count by 1's to 1000 (and beyond) can add, subtract and multiply , can tell you features of a mammal, reptile and bird, knows some interesting facts about Asia, Africa, and the US It's an amazing program.,

[fats]

How young would you recommend starting your child at Montessori? The school near me has a program for 18 months - 3 years (I think - I forget the upper level) and I was thinking of enrolling my son when he turns 18 months. He's not in day care - home with our au pair while I'm at work, and she's great with him but I'd like him to have some more stimulation and interact with people other than her and kids his age. Do you think 18 months is too young for maybe a few days a week (half days)?

[firefly]

our montessori starts at 24 mo. And really if a spot opens up this year I'd gladly take it. I think you need to look at your child to know. Does your child seperate easily?, nap during the class time? our montessori is 5 days a week they don't offer less... it's part of the philosophy. you'd spend 1/2 the time reteaching the 'rules' so to speak.

So I don't think that 18 mo is too young. but it does depend on the child.

[anemone]

I'm thinking of enrolling DS in a Montessori program that takes them from age 2. They only have 2 mornings a week for 2 hours a session.

fireflyAre you sure that the Montessori "rule" for a 2 year old infant is to have them in full time? I'm not that up to speed on the entire Montessori philosophy as yet, but I'd have thought that separating the child from the parent for that length of time so regularly is against most early childhood philosophies...at least until after 3? Also, all the programs where I am only take the children at that age for a couple of mornings a week, so it's not even an option.

[Delta]

The AMI schools recommend that the kids go every day so as to establish a routine.

DS's school starts at age 1.5 and they do go every morning for 3 hours. The classes (as with all accredited schools) are divided like this:

1.5-3 yo (toddler)
3-6 yo (primary aka children's house)
6-9 yo (lower elem)
9-12 (upper elem)
Adolescent

So far DS has been on 3 pre-visits with his teacher where she's presented lessons to him. He starts the school this week. Already today DS informed me that he was going to give me a lesson in trains on his Thomas set. Ha!

[anemone]

Thanks Delta, there are obviously some regional differences (I am in Australia) as the school I am looking at is definitely a member of the Australian Montessori association. Interestingly, most over here don't offer class below age 3, and those that do only take them from age 2 and up.

[firefly]

Austrailia is leading the educational world lately.

yup the 'rule' here is every day 2's room here is 9-11:45

[Delta]

I just wanted to update that my son is thriving in his Montessori school. I really can't believe it. He loves it. His teacher and I had a conference last week and I am just so proud of what all he is doing and has accomplished already. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful school so close to us. I urge anyone who is considering Montessori and willing to commit the 3 years to the primary program to do it!

[catmom]

DD won't be starting preschool until next year, but I'm thinking ahead since I'll have to start looking around this fall. I really like the idea of montessori and how the activity is child-led, but I'm wondering if it might be a bad fit for DD. She is a super-imaginative kid who is really into pretend play more than almost anything else, and she also likes to "repurpose" objects (ie, she pretends a fork and spoon are mommy and daddy and makes finger puppets out of ziti noodles). From what I've heard about montessori, pretend play is discouraged and "repurposing" objects is just not allowed. Since I think her imagination seems like her biggest strength, I really don't want to discourage that. I would be interested in hearing from parents who have their kids in montessori as to how this kind of play is managed at school. Are my impressions just wrong? Have I been getting bad info, or is that pretty much what it's like?

I think she might do very well in a waldorf-style preschool, but that isn't an option for us since the nearest one is much too far away.

[firefly]

my dd is exactly like yours. and we are a montessori family. We were initally very wary of the lack of 'pretend' and imagination stations. However My dd will be starting her 3rd (and sadly, final) year of Montessori. She's still just as imaginative and does very very well in School. The kids are 'normalized' into what is acceptable with no shaming, or guilting, or anything to make them feel that imagination is bad just that this isn't the place for it. I know that at our Montessori's daycare (before and after the regular school day) the kids can play with the 'daycare toys' which includes dollhouses. and blocks, and the pretend play stuff. just during the school hours they are taught to focus on the 'job' they are doing. imho it's a great way to teach them about how some times we act one way in one placy (say Church or Synagog v.s another Grocery store or Circus)

My dd has told me on the playground they are not allowed to do superheros but that has been in most public schools for about a decade now, and while in class they are all industriously working so there really isn't time to miss the puppet theater or train table.

i

[jesvet]

catmom-
That is why I chose not to put my DD in Montessori. I think it is a wonderful program and so many children do well in it, but I want her to be able to foster her imaginative skills. Check the school out before you decide- many Montessoris are less strict on that interpretation, but the one by my house is very strict Montessori and the children do their "work" as they call it, all day. As soon as I went in and saw how well behaved and quiet the children were, I was so impressed but I also knew it wasn't the right fit for our family. My very limited understanding of the philosophy is that Maria Montessori believed that since children were prone to confuse reality and imagination, they must be firmly rooted in reality before engaging in imaginative play.

I loved the Waldorf I looked at but it was a bit of a drive, and pricey. Very much opposite philosophy, but both were great in their own way.

We went with I guess what you would call a "standard" preschool that combines group time with free play.

[LeighW]

Catmom, my 4 year old has been in a traditional montessori school for a year now. We love it, although I was initially concerned about the lack of imaginative play. It has turned out to be no big deal. She gets plenty of pretend play in the extended day program (the montessori part ends at 1:30 pm) and I have not noticed a decrease in pretend play at home. We have plenty of dress-up sessions, make-believe games of all sorts, etc. My DD repurposes objects all the time. She has a whole set of play food, but usually, seashells and acorns are the food at her tea parties. :)

It really all depends on the school's philosophy and the teacher. And, if your DD is going to stay for an aftercare program, that is usually more mainstream daycare--lots of pretend play.

I would go visit some montessori schools and see if you feel comfortable with the philosophy and teaching style.

[catmom]

Thanks, ladies. I will definitely go visit some schools. I also worry that the 5-day week might be too much for her, but I think it's probably too early to call that right now. I with that there was a 3 day option, but I understand that contradicts the montesorri philosophy. I wonder if I could put her in a "regular" 3 day preschool next year and than transition her to the montessori the year after, when she'll be 4.5.... hmm.

[firefly]

The 5 day a week thing freaked me out. I sent S the month after she turned 3. I will have to say that when we have 'vacation days' she misses the activities and her peers. It's much harder on the parents. It also helps the kids transition faster and easier. There will be days. actually it was 18 months into school my dd started having crying at drop off. I attribute it to 3 teachers that transitioned in and out of the room (she had 3 teachers total and 2 had been with her for 18 mo the third one kept changing due to maternity leave, (2) health (3) husband job moved. And one of her best friends in the class was crying at drop off, and so that friends mom stayed all day with her. (S wanted me to stay at school with her all day)

[huango]

2 questions:
I need to do more research and visit a Montessori school, but can it help my CRAZY active aggressive 3.5yrs old DS? I swear, that statement of 'boys will be boys' is stretched by my DS. This kid wakes up making monster sounds, and falls asleep making monster sounds. My child-less cousin calls him "KID ON REDBULL".

like one poster's comment: like a bull in a china store, that is my kid.
Right now, he's only doing 1 morning a week at a play-oriented preschool. Mainly because of the option of 1 day a week, but also because DS goes to VERY STRICT Chinese lessions school Sunday afternoon. But I need HELP w/ Sundays, because he acts like he has ANTS IN HIS PANTS. this kid can't stay put in his seat. Last week, he almost landed on the kid in front of him when he fell forward from tilting his desk.
Do you think Montessori program would help mellow out my CRAZY son???

my husband went to a Montessori school through the end of second grade and LOVED it. However, he was then put into a regular public school for third grade and beyond, and had a *really* hard time transitioning. He's still sad about it! so if you make a committment to an educational philosophy, and your child likes it, be sure to have a long term plan in place... and be sure to consult your child if/when you make a change!

I love this thread. I think Montessori is what my 3.5yrs old DS needs. But I have heard the same comments as from Lawgirl's husband. So what happens after the program ends?

thank you for your help.

[Delta]

I need to do more research and visit a Montessori school, but can it help my CRAZY active aggressive 3.5yrs old DS? I swear, that statement of 'boys will be boys' is stretched by my DS. This kid wakes up making monster sounds, and falls asleep making monster sounds. My child-less cousin calls him "KID ON REDBULL".YES! YES it can! It has been so awesome for my 'high energy' (as his Montessori teacher put it) son. It really does help them to control their movements and become more deliberate and more considerate of those around them. I was the one who made the bull in a china shop comment regarding his first visit to his M classroom. He's since learned how to control himself and is doing so, so well. I really can't say enough about it.

As for the commitment to Montessori...we are committed to finishing out the primary class (which is age 3-6.) After that it just depends. I'd like to continue on the Montessori track for various reasons (I don't want my kids attending government schools, I love the self-directedness of M, etc.) but if I don't feel his academic skills are up to par in the school, or if he really doesn't want to continue in the school and it's a bad fit, then we will look elsewhere. I'm really not concerned about the transition at this point, honestly. I feel that the M method is too beneficial to not put him in there for the primary years.

[firefly]

YES Montessori a good montessori program will do just as Delta said. They will help your son become more 'aware' of himself and making deliberate moves.

I'd love to keep my kids in Montessori all the way up.. However ours ends at Primary (age 6) so we have a few options, 1. public school. (um no thank you, expecially the one we qualify for) 2. Catholic school, (I taught at one of them and my 5 yo neice is there currently) 3. make the commute for the Montessori that goes older. (which would entail moving my then 3 yo to a new montessori school, and transporting the twins 90 minutes each way to drop off and pick up the girls) so really we're going to do the #2 thing unless we move a. to a place with better public schools or b. closer to the secondary montessori school.

That being said my oldest is SO looking foreward to going to school with her cousin again next year. (they were both at Montessori last year)

[artist]

I'm sure your son will end up being just fine! One of my friends is a montesorri teacher (and was trained at the training center close to where I live, which I saw once). I remember hearing her go on and on about the Montessori method, etc. I remember hearing all about the pink block tower too! :)

ETA:
Duh. You started this thread in February! But it sounds like things have been working out great so far. :)

[SiValleySteph]

DS goes to VERY STRICT Chinese lessions school Sunday afternoon. But I need HELP w/ Sundays, because he acts like he has ANTS IN HIS PANTS. this kid can't stay put in his seat. Last week, he almost landed on the kid in front of him when he fell forward from tilting his desk.


How long are they requiring a 3.5 year old to sit still in a desk? That sounds difficult for most 3.5 year olds, IMO.

Delta, Would Montessori really help a preschooler sit still in a desk for lessons? I thought Montessori helps with discipline because kids are independent and empowered and in control of their own education. Does that translate into desk sitting?

I'm curious!

We are considering Montessori for elementary (K-5, I think), but it's hard to find out the real differences between the way it is implemented at this school from the typical public school.

[huango]

SiValleySteph: I don't know how the other 14 (yes 16 kids for 1 teacher --- parents are allowed to stay in the class) 3.5-almost 5years old can do it.
It's 45minutes of class, then 10min break, then another 45minutes. These tiny precious children just sit there and listen or color or repeat after the teacher, while sitting quietly in their chairs.
It's so old-school learning: flash cards, repetition, writing on the board... No songs, no games, no movies...

One thought is that DS will behave better when he gets older, but there's another kid there who's ~5. while too young for the Kindergarten class, he's too old and BORED for this class. He knows all the answers when the teacher asks him. So this kid acts out. i'm afraid that my DS will continue this behavior and end up like this boy.

update on Montessori: I spoke to a friend who has 2 girls at Montessori who are loving it. and one of the girls have similar traits as DS: bossy, aggressive, strong-willed, etc, and she's thriving at Montessori.
So we're going to 2 different Montessori for their Parents' Night.

My friend's response to the difficulty in transition is similar to Delta's: Montessori is too beneficial to not put him in there for the primary years.

[ez2luv]

I saw this thread and wated to jump in with my experience.....

I enrolled my DD in Sept and for the 1st week she loved it.
But, then hated it - and not just disliked -but hated!!
She has NEVER been one to not leave mommy or dislike playgroups or daycares. She handles change and new environments better than any other toddler I know.
I found it so strange that she disliked it so much - even to the point of fear....we tried for weeks and then took her out.
Her stress wasn't worth it - she was misearable and woke up crying everyday saying she didn't want to go.
I talked with the teachers about why - someone else in class? etc...
They had no idea - but they got her name wrong everyday so i questioned if they really knew what she was doing each day.
....long story short - Ill try her in preschool next year - but a different one. I really got a bad feeling about the one here...all the kids were so unhappy (and I overheard many of the other parents saying how their child hated it) Anyway....???
Who knows.
I obviously enrolled her because I loved the teachings and the method.
I have many friends who have had their children in Montessori and loved it....but mine didnt.
I don't know if I'll ever know why.

[catmom]

Her stress wasn't worth it - she was misearable and woke up crying everyday saying she didn't want to go.

fwiw, my friend had almost the exact same experience at a local montessori with her DD. And every time she went to observe her DD in the classroom (the have a one-way window), her DD was either sitting alone doing nothing and looking miserable or lying on the floor alone sucking her thumb. The school's philosophy was to let her do whatever she wanted, and they made no effort to engage her or try to get her involved in any of the activities, since *according to them* that was against the montessori philosophy of child-led learning. I know there are some great programs out there, but this one seemed to really take things too far! I was really surprised, because I sort of assumed that montessori schools were all pretty good (especially for the amount of money they charge), but there are good and bad ones, just like anything else. (oh, and my friend pulled her DD out after the first week).

[lilo]

bumping up this thread....

I am thinking about enrolling my DS into a Montessori school next fall once he turns 3, which means I need to put my name on waiting lists this year. But I'm still not sure if it's the *perfect* fit for my DS and if it will work since both my DH and I work full-time.

For those of you who WOHM, how do you handle all of the school breaks? Do you get a temporary nanny?

I have a good friend whose DS goes to a nearby Montessori school and she loves it. Her DS is a few years old than mine but they are very similar in terms of personality and overall temperament. My DS is really high-energy, engaging, social and like a PP, a real *boy* if that makes sense. He's currently in a daycare full-time, which is fine for right now but I'd like something more structured when he hits preschool age. I'm just wondering if Montessori is the best way to go.

How did you all decide to go with a Montessori program versus a traditional preschool program?

What do you love most about the Montessori philosophy?

[bluebunny]

How did you all decide to go with a Montessori program versus a traditional preschool program?



I went to Montessori school from ages 3-6 and loved it. My DS's personality and temperament is very much like mine and I thought he would enjoy it, too. I checked out a few other traditional preschool programs and did not think that their approach would stimulate and interest my DS the way Montessori would.

What do you love most about the Montessori philosophy?

That is a hard question. Some of the things I like about the Montessori philosophy include:
child-led learning -- instead of children sitting still while a teacher explains a lesson, the children pick out their activities for their work cycle
natural/logical consequences -- I think this "discipline" approach is better than the systems used in many traditional preschools
real-life skills -- the Montessori classroom that I observed had many activities that teach real-life skills, like polishing silver, sponging/cleaning a table, cleaning/grating,chopping a carrot, etc.
multi-age -- the multi-age classroom allows the younger to learn from the older and the older a chance to teach and encourage the younger

And since I just went back and read some previous posts, I wanted to address the "child-led learning" in one classroom where the teachers let the child mope and lie around all day. That is not supposed to happen. The teachers (they are called something else but I can't remember the term right now) should be engaging the child in an activity. The children have the freedom to choose their activities but if they are using them inappropriately or are otherwise not doing their "work", then they should be directed to use the activity the correct way or pick out another activity.

[jen71]

I wen to see a Montessori school today, having no idea what it really was. I want to put DD ina preschool- she will already be 4. It is a Catholic elementary school, but next year they are changing to just preK & kindergarten. I really liked it, the children were so great to watch, & they all were all busy, & I just could not believe the activities they seemed so interested in.

We were looking at another school, that ability tests the kids each year (prek-6th). I thought I liked that idea, but I can see the disadvantages of it also.