Delivery: Scared or Nervous?? [Archive]

Astara

07-20-2005, 01:01 PM

I am just wondering how all of you ladies that are about to go through delivery or already have feel about it. Sometimes im perfectly fine about it, but other times I'm really nervous.. even scared about it. I keep being afraid of all the things that could go wrong, drugs, and everything. I know this is normal.. but I dwell on it a lot! I thought it might help to get other's input on how they feel as well. :)

Lisam618

07-20-2005, 01:06 PM

Let's see I had my son almost 8 years ago! I was not scared at all! Then when the pain came, I got a little more scared, it flew by so quick I was glad it was over.

I would be scared if I had another, it was painful, but that's just my birth story! I've had some friends who say it was a breeze. I guess it's just how your body handles it!

Good luck

jh124

07-20-2005, 01:58 PM

I will admit I am really scared and nervous. My mom had a rough time with both my brother and I (I was almost 9 lbs and breech and he was almost 12 lbs), so I grew up hearing how horrible our births were. All I can associate with it is pain and more pain.

Honestly, I've kind of blacked out that part of the pregnancy/baby process. I mean, I know it's coming but I would rather focus on the cute newborn clothes and what color my nursery is.

{whistle, whistle} Denial ain't just a river {whistle, whistle}

lml41981

07-20-2005, 02:48 PM

I'm not really scared. I was scared before because I plan to go drug-free (despite the fact that I've used Zofran and Tagamet during pregnancy...I want a drug-free childbirth) and I was worried I'd fail. Then we decided to take classes and I feel at peace (we ended up choosing Bradley classes even though I originally thought we'd go with Birthing from Within). I know that the possibility is there that I will end up needing a C or taking the epi, but I also know that if that happens, I will have done all I could to prevent it and it was just part of the hand I was dealt. I'm not afraid of the pain...it will be temporary...and besides, has mere pain killed anybody? If it were really scary and horrible, there'd be a lot more only-children.

ktdelsur

07-20-2005, 02:49 PM

For the longest time, I wasn't scared one bit. My mom had both of us (my 8lb brother and my 9lb+ self) with no meds and ALWAYS said she didn't understand why women on TV always scream bloody murder when they have babies. She said it wasn't that bad at all and her doc even said, "Wow, hardly a peep out of you!" I'm hoping I have the same experience.

My only fear is having to have a c-section. I had surgery for scoliosis in 1990 and have consulted my ortho surgeon along with my OB concerning epidurals, etc, and while it IS possible for me to have a spinal block/epidural, I would be considered a 'high risk' case since I still have a small curvature where the spinal would be placed. Scares me to death that I might have to have general anesthesia to have this baby....chances are slim considering my luckily good genetic background of "easy" births. We'll see.

usafwife

07-20-2005, 03:00 PM

I gave birth to our daughter 3 weeks ago yesterday so it's still fresh in my mind. I wasn't nervous or scared about the birth during most of the pregnancy. When I hit 38 weeks I started to get more nervous/excited/scared. I worried about knowing when to go to the hospital or if I'd know I was actually in labor (I'd been having B-H contractions for weeks). I was awakened in the wee hours of the morning to my water breaking and painful contractions started coming within 30 minutes. There was no denying that I was in labor.

Sandie78

07-20-2005, 03:17 PM

I'm a little nervous, but mostly I just try not to think about it. I figure that I'll survive and it will be worth it. Honestly, I'm more concerned about throwing up during labor than the actual pain because I hate throwing up!

Astara

07-20-2005, 03:23 PM

Im so glad so many have responded so far! :) Just knowing others feel the same puts my fears at ease a whole lot.. thanks!!

solongtogo

07-20-2005, 04:01 PM

I'm more nervous than scared. I think it's because no matter how many people can tell me how many stories, I've still not done it myself...fear of the unknown...

lcarlson90

07-20-2005, 04:20 PM

I was really scared of labor before I got pregnant. I always thought that I would never get pregnant because I was so afraid of the pain of labor. For most of my pregnancy I tried not to think about it. When it got close I did have a couple of scared thoughts. I was suprised that the morning that I went in for my induction I was really calm and excited to get started. It was a great experience and it wasn't that bad and I am a wimp.

Astara

07-20-2005, 07:10 PM

It was a great experience and it wasn't that bad and I am a wimp.

LOL good to know.. I am also a wimp so maybe it wont be so bad after all :)

doubleR

07-21-2005, 07:40 AM

sandt8704

07-21-2005, 07:58 AM

I am due on 1/7/06, and honestly...right now it's not bothering me. I know I'll be taken care of. I know it will hurt, but that's OK. I will have drugs. But I'm not scared or nervous....yet.

Astara

07-21-2005, 09:07 AM

honestly, I'm terrified. and I don't know what I'm more scared of, going natural or having a c-section. an epidural also scares me, but I can't imagine doing it without one. I am such a wimp.

I'm hoping that as my due date approaches, I just feel ready and some of my fear is distracted.

I'm also planning on taking some childbirth classes with my husband, so hopefully that helps too.

I feel that way too. it just seems like everything scares me.. lol at least your not as bad as me.. I'm thinking about not going to childbirth classes because im afraid to know too much!! lol how sad is that?!

Jodi AKA BostonTeacher

07-21-2005, 10:58 AM

I will most likely be induced tomorrow.

A little background...I have a history of being absolutely terrified of doctors/hospitals/needles/etc. I'm talking extreme phobia. I used to pass out in waiting rooms.

The thought of getting pregnant scared the hell out of me. I remember getting the +hpt and having so much anxiety. However, the pregnancy has gone great and I've been fine for all of the blood work, exams, etc.

I am scared of labor/delivery/induction/c-section/etc., however I am amazed at how much calmer I am than I thought I would be. I think it only hit me recently that I will actually be going through one or all of the above and at the same time I am kind of excepting of the idea that one way or another I need to get this baby out.

I'm REALLY hoping to get caught up in the moment when it comes and am trying not to dwell on in too much ahead of time.

doubleR

07-21-2005, 12:02 PM

Astara ~ your're too funny!! I think that a lot of my fear comes from not knowing what to expect, so hopefully the classes help. although the few articles I've read on the 3 stages of labor definitely scare the crap out of me ;) I think at that point though, you're just so ready that you're not thinking about all the pain, etc. this is what I'm hoping for!!

Jodi good luck to you!!!!

it can't be THAT bad, there would be so many more single child families, right?

Astara

07-21-2005, 12:27 PM

it can't be THAT bad, there would be so many more single child families, right?

That's true! :) at least we arent giving birth to quints.. now that would be scary! ahhhh~

Goodluck Jodi!! be sure to let us know how everything went!

nicks

07-21-2005, 02:23 PM

Sandie- I almost died when I read your post! I have that SAME exact fear! I swore I was the only one out there that was worried about that. Glad I am not alone. :)

Tracie

07-21-2005, 05:18 PM

I'm pretty much not thinking about it, or trying not to! At this point, it seems so far in the future, it's not worth worrying about. I'm sure as my due date rolls around I will be a wreck though. I hate pain!

Megande

07-21-2005, 05:39 PM

I really tried not to think too much about it, since I was going to have to do it one way or another. *Nothing* about my labor or delivery went the way I expected it too. My mom had two incredibly short and easy L&Ds, so that is what I was hoping for. I ended up with a 9 lb, 9 oz, 23 inch long baby who was posterior. I was in labor for 32 hours and ended up with a C-section that the doctor called "traumatic" (the baby was too far down in the birth canal so I had internal tearing, etc). I can't think of anything that went the way I wanted it to go. But honestly, it was still not worth worrying about. Honestly, the waiting and even little bit of worrying that I did was worse than the labor itself. Even long labors are over before you know it, and you have a wonderful baby at the end. I think that being pregnant for 9 months is *much* harder than L&D!

(I was trying to be encouraging, not scary....I hope I succeeded!)

chefker

07-21-2005, 06:45 PM

I'm not nervous about childbirth per se. I have a high threshold of pain, so the whole process doesn't really frighten me.

What I am nervous about is just being in the hospital! My father has been in and out of the hospital--a LOT--since 1987, and spent 17 weeks in a coma. As a result of visiting dad in the hospital, and seeing him in that state, I just HATE being in hospitals period. I didn't even go visit my cousin in the hospital when she had her little boy over two years ago, and I'm his godmother. :(

I just freak out and feel like I'm going to faint the minute I go into a hospital, it's an irrational fear that I need to get over. If I could just give birth at home, I probably would do so!

isign

07-21-2005, 07:22 PM

Sandie- I almost died when I read your post! I have that SAME exact fear! I swore I was the only one out there that was worried about that. Glad I am not alone. :)

You aren't alone :D I'd rather be in major pain than throw up. It's almost like a phobia ;). We aren't expecting yet, but just the thought - I'm scared of the unknown, what's totally out of my control. I like to be in charge of my body, but I know that my body will be in charge of me.

AusMarchBride

07-21-2005, 11:38 PM

I'm frightened of the pain of labour. I intend to have an epidural, but I'm still concerned that it won't work properly, or I'll get to the hospital too late, or something else will prevent it from being administered/working.

Honestly, if there was no risk to the baby or me, I would have an elective c-section. But I won't because of the risks.

And I've got quite a few months to keep worrying about this, I'm only 10 weeks :rolleyes:

bamboo

07-22-2005, 12:28 AM

I had my baby 12 weeks ago and it was the best experience of my life. I had a natural homebirth and it was incredible. Not painful at all, just truly amazing. I wasn't scared or nervous beforehand- I was really really excited and curious. The only things that scared me were unecessary medical interventions, which is why I chose to birth at home. It was better than I could have hoped for!

jp'swife

07-22-2005, 07:02 AM

My due date is right around the corner. I think I'm getting more calm and just anticipating his arrival more than being scared. I'm still a little nervous though. Now, if you asked me back in December when I found out I was prego---then hell yes I was nervous! Now I just want him out! I want to meet him and hold him instead of carrying this weight on my anymore. It feels as though you just get mentally ready as the due date arrives. Like your body and mind just want to get down to business.
I'm going to be going the epidural route though....I'm thinking I'll need the meds!

red_canuck

07-24-2005, 08:31 PM

yeah, nervous more than fear, like solongtogo said, it's the fear of the unknown.

cr8zyforaf

07-25-2005, 12:34 PM

I agree with red_canuck and solongtogo - fear of the unknown. I am also worried about throwing up. However, my biggest concern is cr*pping while I am pushing..seriously - if I p**p while I am pushing I will absolutely die.

lml41981

07-25-2005, 01:07 PM

ktdelsur

07-25-2005, 02:17 PM

LML:

I have a bit of that fear myself - but I've recently read that if you don't let go of that fear, you're just hindering labor and not pushing correctly. Sooooo I'm just going to try and get over it. I've been told it happens more times than not, and at the time you can't tell what's going on anyway - the docs/nurses have seen it all, so... :p

HSSweethearts

07-25-2005, 07:08 PM

I'm very very scared. I saw my sister deliver both of her babies, and the look of terror she had when she thought she was about to poo on the table still haunts me. It didn't end up happening, but it could happen to me. Silly fear, but it's what I worry about.

LeslieR

07-25-2005, 08:03 PM

kimthebride

07-29-2005, 03:05 PM

My son is 8 weeks today, so it's all still pretty fresh in my mind!

I cant say I was ever scared, just more nervous about a few things, mostly because I can create a BIG SCENARIO in my mind making potential situations so much worse than they would actually be, lol:
- Horrible pain, tearing my vagina during delivery
- Not being able to get drugs
- Having DH watch all that stuff gush outta me, and poop on the table, thus never wanting to have sex with me ever again

Reading all the L&D books I could helped ease my mind, even though I never got to a birthing class.

Well...
In retrospect I think my L&D could be considered "scary" because it was SO FAST it was almost out of control (by me, by the medical staff). I went from 1st contraction to pushing in 2 1/2 hours - which was about the amount of time it took to get DH home then us to the hospital! It was too fast to get an epi: I was totally drug free. However, I just focused on breathing thru contractions and got through it ok. And I SWEAR to you, the baby did not hurt coming out. And luckily the body rids itself of poop while you are in labor, so there was no pooping on the table. :)

I found that once labor progessed, I got In The Zone and did quite well with it - no mind space to waste on worries! You just have a job to get done, and you do it.

Astara

07-29-2005, 06:42 PM

I am scared shitless. And I just realized how much tonight. We just got back from our last lamaze class which included a tour of the hospital. I stepped one foot in that L&D room and was overcome with a panicky feeling, almost burst in tears, and had an overwhelming sense of "I don't want to do this."

I'm being induced next week. ugh.

ahhhhh!!! you poor thing... I will probably have the same reaction.. GoodLuck on being induced.. may you have a *fast and painless delivery* :)

kimthebride Thank you for posting.. its nice to hear how someone felt about L&D before actually doing it, then hearing how they felt when the time came. 2 1/2 hours is scary fast but wow I would love that~ lol maybe I will get that lucky and hurry up and get it over with! :)

kimthebride

07-30-2005, 06:23 AM

No problem! I know how much I wanted to hear EVERY SINGLE L&D STORY EVER before I had my own munchkin, just to prep me. :) Good luck!

shushyk

07-31-2005, 02:27 PM

I don't know if I should join in and subscribe to this thread or stay away :confused: I have not been that nervous until more recently when I think I realized that this baby has ONE EXIT :eek:

I HATE hospitals, I know someone else mentioned bad experience going to the hospital. I had a tumor removed suddenly after just turning 18 and had to stay at the hospital by myself. I got an infection and ended up there for almost a week :( and since then, I just go into panic mode when I go in there. There are so many sick people there and grosses me out. Not to mention all the OTHER fears in general about pushing the baby, dealing with the pain, and all the fears of what could go wrong - Ummm I am trying NOT to think about it. I am 30W and don't have much longer to go.

I am trying (what a friend suggested) to reinforce positive beliefs that everything will be fine. The baby will fit just fine, come out easily and smoothly... and DH is trying to help me visualize these things. I think after our hospital tour I will feel better too having "seen" where I will be easier to visualize.

Glad to know I am not alone.

Anyone have any other suggestions on how to release the fear and anxiety?