What no one told you about TTC [Archive]

pocahontas

01-17-2007, 12:06 AM

~There are those who seemingly get pregnant every time their DHs breathe or sneeze on them and there are those that don't (and the latter category is a lot LARGER than you'd imagine.)
~Sex on demand, sex that has to be timed just right, and sex for any reason other than frivolous pleasure can really SUCK.

Asha

01-17-2007, 07:29 AM

ditto - poca - sex starts to get really old.

DelSol

01-17-2007, 07:47 AM

Totally agree with pocahontas.

I never thought it would be like this and take this long. I've only started my TTC journey so I don't know if anything is wrong so I pray every night I get that BFP with every cycle that passes.

honeygirl

01-17-2007, 10:21 AM

There will be nights where you're pissed at DH but will have sex anyway b/c it's the "fertile time".

It can be a big stressor on your marriage.

You may have to take pills that make you a hormonal mess.

After a few cycles you'll try almost anything whether it's drinking grapefruit juice, putting pillows under your back after sex, drinking special tea, taking your temp every day, etc.

It may take longer than you think.

Asha

01-17-2007, 10:23 AM

sex isn't the only way to get pregnant.

conceiving a baby can cost a fortune.

Kelly's Girl

01-17-2007, 10:26 AM

That everyone's an expert. People feel compelled to tell you what is going to work to get you pregnant- relax, go on a vacation, have a glass of wine, adopt and you'll get pg! :rolleyes:

That it can be draining financially and emotionally.

That TTC will divide some couples and bring some closer than they ever thought possible.

That as difficult a road as it can be, without a doubt, it is so worth it.

ETA: I cross-posted w/Asha but wanted to agree with her post, and say that making a baby with medical intervention doesn't make it any less a baby. It shouldn't matter HOW you get pg, and there's no shame in achieving a pregnancy throught the means necessary for YOU.

jimmysgirl424

01-17-2007, 10:59 AM

That sometimes your DH will be unable to...finish the deed because he feels he is under too much pressure. Or, he may have performance anxiety and not be able to do the deed to begin with.

That you and DH may get so frustrated by the whole thing that when it is the fertile time of the month, you look at each other and say "I don't wanna"!!

Jess71903

01-18-2007, 04:47 PM

Girls, so far all of you have hit the nail right on the head!

That it would be such an emotional journey
That it could be such a long journey-I though only "other people" had trouble getting pregnant!
That I would get so sick of people asking "when are you going to have one of those" or "when will you start a family" and that it would make me feel so broken
That complete strangers would *know* how to get me pregnant better than I did (again- relax, my friend's cousin's wife's sister just adopted and it happened, etc)
That sex would get old
That my hubby would show me what an awesome man he is when I felt so terrible about everything.

karlatta

01-18-2007, 04:51 PM

That it could take longer and be more difficult than you ever imagined.

That no matter what, there would be people out there who would disagree with your decisions.

j*east

01-18-2007, 06:10 PM

Uh...that it kinda sucks?

(Not all the time. But a lot.)

Annette

01-19-2007, 05:48 AM

We've only been at it for 3 months and it's a lot harder than I thought. It's hard not to get your hopes up each month.

craftgenius

01-19-2007, 06:48 AM

Wow, you guys are really hitting the nail on the head!!

I found this one mentioned by jimmysgirl to be true...and it totally surprised me because my DH is normally ALWAYS READY!!!

That sometimes your DH will be unable to...finish the deed because he feels he is under too much pressure. Or, he may have performance anxiety and not be able to do the deed to
begin with.
I got totally pissed at DH several times when he "cracked under pressure" during ovulation time.

A few more...
--I never knew that the whole process would be so stressful! I thought DH and I would have FUN doing to do...but it was no fun at all. My DH described it as a "science project".

--It seems like when you are TTC, EVERYBODY you know is getting pregnant around you. And you never thought you would feel this way, but you may become a little envious of them.

--I never thought that seeing Aunt Flo show would totally ruin my day, causing me to cry my eyes out and be sad the rest of the day.

--(I was told this by a doctor friend) If you are stressed about trying to get pregnant, the stress can affect your mucous production reducing your chances of getting pregnant.

LDS Angel 19

01-19-2007, 06:57 AM

If you're charting, losing your thermometer, or being woken up at the wrong time, or for whatever reason forgetting to temp, can be a national disaster.

Loud_curly

01-19-2007, 08:24 AM

In addition to what everyone else has said...

- That you'll start wondering if you waited too long to start a family.

- That, even after 6.5 years of a great marriage, your DH can still be your best friend and partner in this TTC journey.

- That not succeeding at TTC while everyone else around you seems to be having no problems can make you feel like a complete failure. Despite how great you've excelled in all other arenas...

jimmysgirl424

01-19-2007, 09:08 AM

That you will become a "toliet paper starer" at the time of the month when AF is due. :p (running to the bathroom, wiping and looking!)

For craftgenius, who said:

I got totally pissed at DH several times when he "cracked under pressure" during ovulation time.

That getting mad at your DH when he can't or won't perform doesn't help, cause then he gets mad at you for pressuring him.

(I did it twice and ended up regretting it wholeheartedly when he refused to cooperate for the rest of my fertile time because of it)

DelSol

01-19-2007, 09:24 AM

--It seems like when you are TTC, EVERYBODY you know is getting pregnant around you. And you never thought you would feel this way, but you may become a little envious of them.

--I never thought that seeing Aunt Flo show would totally ruin my day, causing me to cry my eyes out and be sad the rest of the day.

Totally agree with these. Second one was me yesterday and AF isn't even here yet. First one, my cousin just got married in October and was PG the next month. I found out a few days before Christmas, I was a tad pissy about that one.

That you will become a "toliet paper starer" at the time of the month when AF is due. :p (running to the bathroom, wiping and looking!)

That getting mad at your DH when he can't or won't perform doesn't help, cause then he gets mad at you for pressuring him.

(I did it twice and ended up regretting it wholeheartedly when he refused to cooperate for the rest of my fertile time because of it)

I'm a toilet paper starer today!

Agree getting mad at your DH doesn't help because like jimmysgirl's my DH did the same thing to me.

What else can I add...

*No amount of praying isn't going change if you caught your egg or not. When it happens it will happen and only God knows when that will be.

Kelly's Girl

01-19-2007, 09:33 AM

First one, my cousin just got married in October and was PG the next month. I found out a few days before Christmas, I was a tad pissy about that one.
OMG, I found out this a.m. that my cousin, who got married in Nov., is pg. I am a tad pissy today. And then I feel like a big meanie for it.

That getting mad at your DH when he can't or won't perform doesn't help, cause then he gets mad at you for pressuring him.

(I did it twice and ended up regretting it wholeheartedly when he refused to cooperate for the rest of my fertile time because of it)
Logically, I think everyone knows it doesn't help to be mad at the person who is supposed to be helping you get pregnant, but (at least in my experience) sometimes you just can't help it. :D

jimmysgirl424

01-19-2007, 10:27 AM

Logically, I think everyone knows it doesn't help to be mad at the person who is supposed to be helping you get pregnant, but (at least in my experience) sometimes you just can't help it. :D

I hear ya. Unfortunately, what we as women sometimes forget (or at least I did, anyway) is that usually when our SO can't/won't perform "on demand", they are already feeling bad, guilty, less manly, what have you. When we get mad, it only adds to their feelings of ineptitude and they go on the defensive.

jimmysgirl424

01-19-2007, 10:32 AM

This is one that I know many of us have done at one point or another.

That we will do strange things to ourselves to find out if we are pregnant; including secretly poking at our boobs to see if they are sore, or not as sore as they usually are when AF is coming, or more sore...you get the point.

That we will occasionally bankrupt ourselves buying a million pregnancy tests and POAS every day after ovulation "just in case".

katiems118

01-19-2007, 10:39 AM

That because your boobs are sore, and have been for the last 7 dpo, you could be pg this month, but in reality its probably from eating too much salt....

DH says we are going to BD everyday of my fertile window, the problem is FFgives my window as a 15 day window...who can keep up? (My O date is very unpredictable)

QueenofCA

01-19-2007, 11:58 AM

I haven't read through this whole thread, but here are mine:

That it is okay to have different feelings from day to day about TTC. Some days I feel *so* ready, other days I feel a little more ambivalent. That's normal, I think.
Start saving in advance for pregnancy tests. Those suckers are expensive!
Each day can feel like an eternity, when you're in the 2WW.
That you'll want to let everyone know that you're TTC, but resist that temptation. It's not a good idea, IMO.

pocahontas

01-19-2007, 08:30 PM

That you'll want to let everyone know that you're TTC, but resist that temptation. It's not a good idea, IMO.
OMG! Great one! I made this mistake and now certain chicks I absolutely can't stand lurk on a couple sites I'm on (including probably this one) just to be nosey and see if I'm preggo. :mad: Anyhoo, I need to add...

~If you are the "technical/analytical" biology head like myself...learning this much about your body is an AWESOME experience.
~That you will believe there must be a universal world conspiracy that couldn't be more unfair when you see young unwed women just poppin' out babies left and right and you waited because you wanted to do in the way you were "raised" was correct: 1) marriage and then 2) babies yet you can't seem to pop out even ONE! And you think...gee, I shoulda just popped out a couple when I was a fresh outa high school like these other girls! :rolleyes:

silentbunny

01-20-2007, 12:23 AM

That telling everyone you know you're pregnant at 6 weeks might come back to bite you in the ass... and that you'll then have to endure months of sympathetic looks because EVERYONE knows you miscarried.

How very mechanical sex can be... "No!! Don't pump in and out when you ejaculate! Just stay right there by my cervix!!" :rolleyes:

Squee

01-20-2007, 05:30 AM

Ahh I do wish this thread was around a year ago! Theyre all great ladies..

one more to add...

That hearing the words "just relax" uttered can make you want to throttle someone!

jimmysgirl424

01-20-2007, 07:29 AM

That hearing the words "just relax" uttered can make you want to throttle someone!

A few more phrases in that vein:

"It will happen when its meant to happen"

"Don't worry, as soon as you stop trying, you will get pregnant!"

"I got pregnant on my honeymoon!"

"Oh, you are TTC? Did you hear that your 15 year old cousin is pregnant? Yup, she had sex one time and now she's knocked up".

"Don't worry"

"Well, are you having sex at the right time?"

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

taffers

01-20-2007, 09:02 AM

A few more phrases in that vein:

"Don't worry, as soon as you stop trying, you will get pregnant!"

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

OMG, I HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE that one!!!!!! I don't how many people have told me that. Why the he11 would I stop trying when I'm trying to have a baby???!!!

The other related one that goes along with "just relax" is "just relax and don't think about it, then it will happen." Again, how do you not think about something that is totally consuming your life?!!!

Kelly's Girl

01-20-2007, 09:13 AM

Why the he11 would I stop trying when I'm trying to have a baby???!!!
Well, Taffers, maybe you "aren't doing it right"? Or "if you didn't stress about it, you'd get pg." :rolleyes: ACK- that kind of thing drives me nuts!

I thought of another thing noone told me (as I start a new month of TTC):
That one 4-week period, one measly month, which goes by like a blip on everyone else's calendar, can last a freaking eternity. Every day is like the clock is mired in concrete and won't move. The last 2 weeks of the month (the 2WW) is its own special version of hell with the pause button on.

Wrighty26

01-20-2007, 06:10 PM

That you would willing take Robitussin every day when you aren't sick/have a cough

That your husband could ever utter the words, "Do we have to?"

That you would set an alarm for 5am on the weekend so that you can take your temperature

That you will spend a fortune on HPTs - even though you swear you won't each month

That you could ever go so POAS crazy

That you would pee in a cup and "save it" so that you can test more than once

That OPKs don't work for some people

That just because your Dr. diagnoses you with infertility, doesn't mean you can get pregnant

That when you least expect to get a BFP, you will but you won't believe it because you've gotten so many damn BFNs

That despite all of the drama, disappointment, and tears - you can't wait to TTC again (even if you aren't ready to have another baby)

lorbo

01-20-2007, 06:54 PM

how much it would hurt to think about TTC after a miscarriage

Jill1228

01-20-2007, 08:40 PM

That there is NOTHING wrong with waiting until you are older and more stable and established when you start TTC

how much it would hurt to think about TTC after a miscarriage

what she said! :(

Jill1228

01-20-2007, 08:43 PM

I learned this one the hard way! :( You gotta resist yelling going to the roof top and yelling, "OMG MY SH*T WORKS!"

That telling everyone you know you're pregnant at 6 weeks might come back to bite you in the ass... and that you'll then have to endure months of sympathetic looks because EVERYONE knows you miscarried.

honeygirl

01-20-2007, 08:59 PM

You'll understand and use the following acronyms on a regular basis: BD, OPK, CM, EWCM, POAS, BFN, BFP, MBFP, 2ww, FF, OS etc. Odds are you only knew a couple of them (if at all) prior to TTC.

You'll talk about your CM with complete strangers (well online strangers at least).

You'll become aware of what is coming out of your vagina and what it looks and feels like. ;)

You may find yourself spending hours looking at charts on FF or OS (during your 2ww).

You talk with strangers (online) about when you have sex (and if you aren't having it).

j*east

01-21-2007, 07:14 AM

No matter how many times you promise yourself you won't get worked up, and how many times you write notes to yourself in your journal about not getting excited the next time, you still get your hopes up every cycle.

And you rationalize, "Well, *this* could really be it!"

jodylovesscotty

01-21-2007, 09:28 AM

That it will happen for you somehow, someway. Staying positive will help you more than it will hurt you.

kimthebride

01-21-2007, 11:07 AM

- How normal it becomes to be handling your pee, peeing on your hands, spilling cups of your pee, etc. every day while using fertility monitorrs, OPKs and pregnancy tests.

- How long you will stare at your CM trying to figure out *exactly* what category it falls under.

- How you become obsessed with wearing big white underwear to catch even the tiniest of specs of possible implantation spotting.

- How you are willing to drink things that disgust you (grapefruit juice and Green Tea come to mind!) on the slightest chance it might help.

- How much you don't know about your own body until you begin the TTC process. And how once TCOYF opens your eyes, you start thinking how there should be a campaign for it to be required reading during puberty for all girls.

- That you realize how strong (or not) your marriage is once you realize things aren't going to be easy. The testing, the grasping of the concept that there is a chance you can't concieve, the leaning on each other's shoulders as you each take a turn to be weak...

- That the word spreads quickly but quietly to those who might need your counsel. That people you barely know will approach you and ask for help, advice, your story because they are coming to terms with the possibility of their own fertility issues or just are starting to TTC and know your experience could help them. And how much you genuinely want to help others in your old shoes.

- That even with the odds piled against you, the miracle can happen. Twice, even. And you have no idea until that happens exactly how appreciative you can truly feel in life.

rubyslippers

01-21-2007, 11:26 AM

That during said firtile window you will avoid taking any meds that *might* dry up your CM. I've spent the entire weekend in bed with the worst cold I've had in years. Of course after spending all day in a sneezing/coughing fit I was borderline PO'ed with DH for NOT wanting to DTD with me last night. Then when I got out of bed and caught a glimpse of myself in all of my PATIENT ZERO glory I couldn't blame the poor guy and laughed until I was crying!!

kris97

01-21-2007, 11:38 AM

That even if you achieve success in all other areas of your life through hard work and dedication, you can still do everything "right" and not get pregnant.

pocahontas

01-21-2007, 12:03 PM

- How much you don't know about your own body until you begin the TTC process. And how once TCOYF opens your eyes, you start thinking how there should be a campaign for it to be required reading during puberty for all girls.
OMG, YES! I was soooo mad after I read TCOYOF that no one had made me read it before my freakin' 30's! :mad: That should just be against the law it's such a travesty!

~That you'd never imagine for many of us pills and potions can get you a baby quicker than good ol' fashioned sex. :rolleyes:
~That certain people who get knocked up accidentally or without trying may say stupid, insensitive things while you sit there at month 12 of TTC listening to them drone on and on, but you have to let it roll off your back and resist the urge to completely THRASH them. :D
~TTC "with struggles" will allow you to find out who you're REAL friends are and some people you thought were...will surprise you.
~You hate having people's "pity"...so sometimes you withdraw.

InDueTime

01-22-2007, 10:40 AM

In addition to what everyone else has said...

- That you'll start wondering if you waited too long to start a family.

So where I am at right now!!!

I read through these soooo many are true for me!!! As I have been going through my pre-TTC and now TTC phase this and other sites have kept me grounded in knowing that I am not alone and others are experiencing and going through the same thing. Doesn't make it any easier but it helps a whole lot!!!!

sea74

01-22-2007, 12:15 PM

Kimthebride- How much you don't know about your own body until you begin the TTC process. And how once TCOYF opens your eyes, you start thinking how there should be a campaign for it to be required reading during puberty for all girls.

- That you realize how strong (or not) your marriage is once you realize things aren't going to be easy. The testing, the grasping of the concept that there is a chance you can't concieve, the leaning on each other's shoulders as you each take a turn to be weak...

YES. YES. And YES to both of those!

Jess71903

01-22-2007, 03:37 PM

After I started charting and saw how easy, how cool, and how informative it was, I was SO mad that middle and high school health class was such a waste of time! (28 day cycles with O on CD14-what a crock!) I agree with Pocahontas. TCOYF should be read yearly by girls and women after puberty!

gadget28

01-22-2007, 03:52 PM

That being on the Pill for so long was a waste...because you are not as fertile as you thought you were.

And when doctors tell you that taking the pill for a long period of time will have NO effect on your future fertility--they are WRONG!

Sophia

01-22-2007, 05:00 PM

that it would make me so emotional and weepy
that I'd be so obsessive
that it would take so long and be so hard
that sex would feel like work
that it would seem like *everyone* else was pregnant
that I would hear such rude and invasive questions and comments, not only from people I was close to, but people I would never choose to discuss such things with
that having to "take back" an announcement after a miscarriage is horrible
that people forget your loss quickly and don't refrain from the rude questions/comments like you'd think they would
that after the miscarriage, seeing a BFP would make me cry from fear, not joy

jajacobsen

01-22-2007, 05:20 PM

[QUOTE=Sophia;1166170

that sex would feel like work

snip

that I would hear such rude and invasive questions and comments, not only from people I was close to, but people I would never choose to discuss such things with[/QUOTE]

So true!

Wrighty26

01-22-2007, 06:49 PM

Heidi9771

01-23-2007, 06:18 AM

...That the most sensitive pg tests are the internet cheapie ones for under a buck each (I'm a poas addict.)

jessied1025

01-23-2007, 02:58 PM

I agree with everyone's comments!

~"Just wait, it will happen" is the one comment that drives me nuts!!
~When it comes to doctors and appointments you learn that nothing is private anymore!
~The biggest thing I learned throughout this difficult experience is that I have one of the most amazing and wonderful husbands a person could have. :)

kimthebride

01-23-2007, 03:47 PM

Maybe its just me (and my friends make fun of me for being hung up on this)...

But I just don't like the 40-week-pregnancy thing. Not only does it assume you O on CD 14 (yeah right, try CD 25!!) but also says you're pregnant before you're pregnant. As soon as I was into TTCing and dealing with my issues, this came to light and seemed just stupid & inaccurate.

Thus:
No one ever told me I'd become such a stickler for "real" versus "OB weeks".

Annette

01-23-2007, 06:33 PM

Heidi9771

01-23-2007, 06:52 PM

kimthebride and Annette, I always thought that method of determining the due date was illogical too. Then again, some OBs don't even care about looking at charts...silly to discount that type of info!

kimthebride

01-23-2007, 07:07 PM

So if you do chart and you do know when you ovulated, does the doc still go by LMP or are they smart and go by O date?
I debated my OB into the ground when I was pg with DS so he went by my O date, even when the u/s dated it a few days different. And I delivered naturally on the due date I calculated per my actual O date.
Thus, this time he just goes by what I say. :D

I'm so glad I am not the only one!

Jess71903

01-23-2007, 07:10 PM

Oh, no. That drives me nuts too! So, basically we're all one day pregnant the day AF shows up :rolleyes:. How stupid. If I had been charting and my O day was more than a day or 2 from CD 14, I would tell my dr. that LMP was 2 weeks before that day, because I know mine wouldn't listen to me.

LauraPerg

01-24-2007, 07:25 AM

I just wanted to thank you guys for posting about this stuff and letting us girls who are new to TTCing or are just starting to think about it in on some of the "secrets". We really appreciate your honesty!!

honeygirl

01-24-2007, 11:37 AM

Another reality (and I hope this doesn't step on anyones toes) is that in the beginning of TTC you may be devastated when that BFP doesn't come the 1st, 2nd or 3rd month. However, this reaction will really bug the ladies who have been trying much longer. Sadly, we've all been there. I was the same way back in the beginning, and now the newbies bug me. ;)

I thought of a happy one: When you first start TTC and are no longer on BCP or using condoms it feels great! Kind of naughty even. ;) Such a relief to do the deed the old-fashioned way.

kimthebride

01-24-2007, 11:43 AM

I thought of a happy one: When you first start TTC and are no longer on BCP or using condoms it feels great! Kind of naughty even. ;) Such a relief to do the deed the old-fashioned way.

Lol! So true, so true....

pocahontas

01-24-2007, 12:36 PM

Asha

01-24-2007, 12:42 PM

the ability to give birth isn't what makes you a woman.

jessesgirl

01-24-2007, 02:17 PM

...That the most sensitive pg tests are the internet cheapie ones for under a buck each (I'm a poas addict.)

So true! Now everytime I see a commercial on TV for tests that "can predict pregnancy earlier before your missed period", I just roll my eyes with sarcasm.

Adaya

01-24-2007, 06:34 PM

j*east

01-25-2007, 05:56 PM

Oooh, I just thought of a big one...

No one ever told me that the SWH thread isn't *really* about seeing what happens. When I started TTC, I though "SWH" meant, y'know, not really thinking about it, but not using BC. So I joined the SWH thread and quickly became overwhelmed with all the CM tracking, DPO counting, OPK using, etc. Not that there's anything wrong with any of those things, obviously (esp. since I do them all now :o), but as a newbie, I got sucked into the obsession before I knew what was happening.

So...if you need/want to get PG ASAP, join a charting or SWH thread...but if you genuinely want to go off BC and not think too much about it, a group thread may not be the best choice. :)

southerner

01-25-2007, 06:24 PM

Ditto! Some things are making me a little nervous though. ;)
yup :o

Chelsea524

01-26-2007, 09:33 AM

That no matter how close you are with some family and IRL friends, sometimes keeping the TTC thing a secret it a good choice. We told our family and a hand full of friends that we were ttc and now, 9+ months later they just don't understand how hurtful it is to have the question "are you pg yet" asked EVERY.TIME.YOU.SEE.THEM, and that if you are sick they always assume its because your pg and don't believe you when you say you aren't.

Everyone thinks they deserve the right to know everything about your ttc process, what the tests show, what the dr said, what the next step is, this goes along with DON'T TELL THE WHOLE WORLD YOU ARE TTC!

That you could actually welcome AF sometimes, CD 114 here:rolleyes:

dancn226

01-26-2007, 09:53 AM

That if would put you into a depression every time AF would show up!! Piss you off so bad, you are in tears!!!! Damn it sucks!!!

CapeCod04

01-26-2007, 11:00 AM

...that you could become so comfortable with getting up in the stirrups for your session with the d**do cam (not sure if I can use that word on here) that you demonstrate (fully clothed) for friends

...that you would begin to refer to the ultrasound wand as a d**do cam

....that a needle-phobe can become comfortable with blood draws

....that you decide what to wear for work based on whether you have an u/s and b/w that day

...that you learn how to calculate doubling times

...that some people without fertility issues can be incredibly selfish and insensitive

jennylou

01-26-2007, 11:22 AM

Chelsea524

01-26-2007, 11:32 AM

Jenny thanks, I have finally seen my dr, he was booked out quite a while but I just got a shot to start AF a couple days ago, just waiting for her to arrive so I can start clomid.

jennylou

01-26-2007, 11:48 AM

Good! Hopefully you'll get your BFP soon! :)

Kelly's Girl

01-27-2007, 11:54 AM

Oooh, I just thought of a big one...

No one ever told me that the SWH thread isn't *really* about seeing what happens. When I started TTC, I though "SWH" meant, y'know, not really thinking about it, but not using BC.

OMG, I have never been in the SWH thread, b/c that is EXACTLY what I thought it was- just kicking around, not paying attention, and seeing what happens. I would have been blown away to find it was all about CM, FF, TCOYF, etc, etc. Not the place for me when I was first TTC (and not really the place for me now b/c of IF issues! :D)

DianeCourt

01-30-2007, 06:58 PM

.....that getting pregnant the second time isn't guaranteed to happen in less or equal time that it took to get pregnant the first time. :o

Jenean

02-14-2007, 06:42 PM

That the word spreads quickly but quietly to those who might need your counsel. That people you barely know will approach you and ask for help, advice, your story because they are coming to terms with the possibility of their own fertility issues or just are starting to TTC and know your experience could help them. And how much you genuinely want to help others in your old shoes.

....that you decide what to wear for work based on whether you have an u/s and b/w that day

So true!

That you can discover so much about yourself as an individual and as half of a partnership.

That such an emotionally horrible experience (in some ways) can change you so much and make you come out a better person in the end.

That even though you knew what an amazing man you married, he can continue to amaze you every day with how loving, supportive, understanding, and incredible he can be.

How easy it becomes to talk about your bodily functions! :p

Tandis

02-14-2007, 07:15 PM

--That being late doesn't always equal a BFP - even if your LP is fairly regular and suddenly you're 3 days late

--That you'll do the dumbest things to achieve a BFP just because you saw it on a message board that it worked for someone (can we say bread wrapped in tinfoil stuck under our mattress?)

--That things you said you'd never do to achieve a baby would become totally doable when you start counting in terms of years

--That you'll be willing to go into years worth of debt just to achieve a baby

--That it can stregthen your marriage

--The amount of guilt you'll feel when you know it's your body that keeping you from getting pregnant

--That you'll get to the point that you actually contemplate asking DH for a divorce just so he can marry someone else who can give him children (and then remarry you after he has said children)

--You can never recover from IF, even after you become pregnant

--Also, that people who know what it took for you to become pregnant quickly forget and make insensitive comments about your "next" pregnancy (Hello! Still pregnant here! With twins! When I say we're not having anymore kids I mean it! No matter that *you* think we'll "change our minds" and be pregnant again in a couple years!)

jajacobsen

02-15-2007, 09:58 AM

When the doc tells you, "you have a strong chance of multiples" that fills you with excitement and fear!

pocahontas

02-15-2007, 10:44 AM

When the doc tells you, "you have a strong chance of multiples" that fills you with excitement and fear!LOL!!!! :D Ahhh, isn't that an...umm, interesting feeling? :p

jimmysgirl424

02-15-2007, 10:51 AM

That women on a message board can become your biggest supporters, cheerleaders and sympathizers without being judgemental; in a way that nobody IRL can be. (don't know what I would do without the SWH thread when we were TTC)

sea74

03-29-2007, 08:17 AM

That women on a message board can become your biggest supporters, cheerleaders and sympathizers without being judgemental; in a way that nobody IRL can be.
AMEN!

And that you can go from feeling "okay" to "totally losing it" in a split second when you feel that it just wasn't your month again.

jajacobsen

03-29-2007, 09:55 AM

That you enter into it with an "if t happens, it happens" viewpoint, but then when it repeatedly does not happen, despite all the modern chemistry and medical science you can throw at it, you become crushed. All the years of trying to avoid pregnancy somehow reverse on you and seem to be a cruel twist of fate.

Crystal_Orchid

03-30-2007, 12:33 AM

How much I would miss coffee, wine, sushi, caeser salad, sandwiches, on and on.

Sex would become a chore.

How obsessed I would be over my temperature.

la_bride_2004

04-02-2007, 05:41 PM

-That you can be completely fertile by every definition known to medical science, but if you marry a man who isn't, YOU become infertile by definition.

All the years of trying to avoid pregnancy somehow reverse on you and seem to be a cruel twist of fate.

Amen.

southerner

10-25-2007, 08:10 PM

There is no so thing as the perfect time. There's always going to be a "but one more..."

kendriln

11-02-2007, 07:37 PM

I haven't read through the whole thread but:
*There are SO many moving pieces to get into place -- financially, emotionally, physically
*You can't tell everyone you're TTC
*The amount of information to learn about your body is amazing, and OVERWHELMING!!!
*Turns out the girls in high school who got pregnant right away may have known what they were doing! ;):rolleyes:

numberlady

11-03-2007, 05:58 AM

You can wait and wait for the "perfect" time to TTC and then it can take a really really long time to actually get pregnant.

Eric's Wife

11-03-2007, 06:09 AM

As much as you may be a planner and plan for a perfectly timed summer baby (i'm a teacher), your body has other plans.

PookiePrincess

11-03-2007, 06:45 AM

As much as you may be a planner and plan for a perfectly timed summer baby (i'm a teacher), your body has other plans.

Or you start a month early in order to time for that perfect "teacher baby" timing and your body decides that's the month!

jenahdawn

11-03-2007, 07:08 AM

You may be one of the lucky ones and get pregnant easily...but it doesn't always end well. 15 months of being pregnant (and a 6 month break to recover between) and nothing to show for it, yet....you wonder if you will ever get to bring a child home.

babyjinks

11-03-2007, 08:45 AM

Nobody told me that HPT's would be my "lottery" addiction and I would "play" and play hoping to win....that the next POAS would be my jackpot hopefully.

dancn226

11-04-2007, 08:38 AM

That it sucks, and every time you get a BFN, your heart breaks all OVER again!!!

MLA

11-04-2007, 08:55 AM

That there is such a thing as a "little bit pregnant." And that a BFP isn't necessarily the end of the ttc game because you may not be bringing a baby home.

pocahontas

11-04-2007, 09:00 AM

That even once you GET pregnant the worry doesn't end because you are still petrified by the constant horror stories of what has happened to other people's babies and wonder if yours could be next. And you also wonder if it's a fluke that you even got pg anyway since it took so long the first time and if there will ever be a way to do it again in the future.

numberlady

12-01-2007, 01:59 PM

That you could get so angry/resentful when you hear someone is TTC. I am jealous just thinking that she will get pregnant before me. Having negative thoughts about someone who just wants the same thing as me is just wrong, but yet, I can't stop the way I feel.

sea74

12-01-2007, 05:03 PM

That you'll live your life in two-week increments :(

pocahontas

12-02-2007, 05:16 PM

MLA

12-02-2007, 07:23 PM

Wow...3 days after this post I guess I found out how prophetic that first sentence could be. :( Uncanny...

I'm so sorry, pocahontas. :(

babyjinks

12-02-2007, 09:59 PM

Another thing nobody told me...How much it would hurt when people ask isnt it about time you try for number two....or are you gonna try for another baby..and I cant shout I just lost baby number 2 thanks!

Julss05

12-10-2007, 03:00 PM

How patient you have to be. For most of us it doesn't happen right away which I'm learning:(. Just because you DTD close to or on O doesn't guarantee a pregnancy. How emotional it would be. Before we were TTC I was happy AF showed and now I cry. I told myself before going into this that I would stay strong and not get emotional but it's impossible:o. That DH would have different feelings than my own in regard to TTC and the only way to understand these differences with each other is to have more open communication. That if you obsessed over every detail of your wedding it will most likely be the same with TTC. Loss of concentration and stress is inevitible especially during 2WW. Sometimes your husband IS right when it comes to TTC so hear them out, might be worthwhile. Explaining cycle stuff to a man isn't the easiest thing to do even if you've been together for a long time:rolleyes:. You'll be looking for anything to keep your mind off TTC. If you want to chart and test with OPK you may change your mind and want to do it the old fashioned way once you get going:).

pocahontas & babyjinks Sorry:( Wishing you two success TTC in the future.

Lochlann

12-10-2007, 03:47 PM

Amen Julss05, I could have written your exact post!
Pocahontas, I'm so sorry for your loss.:(

I'd like to add...
That you'll search out every reason for why it hasn't happened yet and wonder "is it me or is it him?" and then get mad at yourself for reading into every little thing.

That you'll become the most impatient person in the world when you're waiting to test!

That you may be upset with yourself that you didn't start trying sooner.

sea74

12-11-2007, 10:29 AM

cr8zyforaf

12-11-2007, 10:43 AM

pocahontas - I am so sorry sorry for your loss.

babyjinks - I am so sorry for your loss. I could have written your post - I am so sick of people telling me how I am not getting any younger and that A needs a sibling I could scream.

katiems118

12-11-2007, 11:28 AM

Trying to convince yourself after many cycles and watching many couples get pg on the first month and subsequently give birth, that it will work for you eventually.

You get to the point where you want to give up and stop focusing on ttc, but you cant. because, what if?

sea74

12-11-2007, 11:57 AM

you want to give up and stop focusing on ttc, but you cant. Seriously. I wish I could. I don't know how. I'd love to go 30 minutes w/o thinking about it.

pocahontas

12-11-2007, 07:23 PM

Pocahontas When I posted last week I noticed the dates of your post and the date your son was born. The timing was profound. I continue to say prayers for you and your family every day. I hope the new year brings you nothing but joy and abundance.

Pocahontas, I'm so sorry for your loss.:(

pocahontas & babyjinks Sorry:( Wishing you two success TTC in the future.

I'm so sorry, pocahontas. :(Thanks a lot, ladies. Wishing you a BFP in your holiday stocking!

MSH

12-11-2007, 09:04 PM

That it would completely change my personality. Becoming obsessed at every little cramp, temp etc. Being so insanely jealous of other women TTC and getting PG before me and when they did think "why didn't they loss their baby like I did" ... I would never wish pain upon anyone else but it was killing me inside to have to admit failure and having no control.

That nothing is for certain, getting PG is only the first step, staying PG is a whole other story.

MLA

12-12-2007, 07:44 AM

That nothing is for certain, getting PG is only the first step, staying PG is a whole other story.

So true.

LMG462

12-12-2007, 10:00 AM

That you will become so obsessed ttc that visiting ttc forums only annoys you more because seeing other people obsess as well only reminds you of how obsessive you are. (Did that make since?)

Liza

KK812

12-12-2007, 02:20 PM

That age really is nothing but a number. Just because you're relatively young doesn't mean you won't have problems.

DaninMike

12-27-2007, 09:18 PM

That you will become so obsessed ttc that visiting ttc forums only annoys you more because seeing other people obsess as well only reminds you of how obsessive you are. (Did that make since?)

Liza

Totally!

Julss05

01-05-2008, 05:52 AM

Even though you're TTC you'll be totally shocked and surprised once you do get a BFP.

Heidi9771

01-05-2008, 06:42 AM

That if you have occasionally have cycles longer than 40 days, the CBEFM (Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor) really will NOT help you conceive because it will miss the window of your fertile day. Use the internet cheapie, pee on a strip kind instead. You'll spend less money on CBEFM test sticks if you have longer cycles, and you won't waste tracking a precious cycle!