Question re: Separation Anxiety & Night Waking

[yby1]

DS is almost 10 months old. My parents normally babysit him while I'm at work, but they are out of town. Either DH & I alternated taking time off to be with him, but my Aunt did watch him for 2 days last week. Ever since then, DS has become super clingy. He gets fussy if I walk more than 3 feet away from him and then crawls to me, and pulls on my pant leg so that he can be picked up.

The kicker for me is that on Saturday he started waking up at 9:30pm and he's done it for the last 3 nights. DS is nornally a good sleeper, he'll sleep from 7pm to 4am and then I'll bring him in bed with us and he'll sleep for another couple of hours. So this took me by surprise. On Saturday, I was able to get him back to sleep easily, but New Years Eve was tough. He woke up at 9:20 screaming bloody murder. I walk in his room and he's standing in his crib facing the door just waiting for me. When I pick him up he just hugs me tight and doesn't want to let go. I tried comforting him back to sleep, but he was keeping him self awake. Around 10:45 he finally fell asleep and I put him back in his crib, but he started wailing again around 11pm. I thought about just keeping him awake for the New Year, but he looked so tired, that I just took him to bed with me and nursed him to sleep - which took an hour since it was primarily comfort nursing. Yesterday was more of the same, but I gave him Tylenol before bed to see if it would help since he's teething. It didn't help, so I just brought him in bed with us again. None of us are getting much sleep since DS is such a wild sleeper. :( I have to add that DS only wants me to hold him at night, if DH gets him, he continues crying.

DH took DS to the pediatrician today to have his ears checked in case he had an infection, but he got a clean bill of health. So I'm guessing that this is separation anxiety? How long does this last? I'm willing to bring him in bed with us for a little while, but if this is something that will be going on for months, I'll have to look into alternate methods.

TIA!

[solongtogo]

you'll see it peak right around now and again somewhere around 15-18 months. It lasted for at least 2 weeks each time dd got it. SA sucks...nothing made me feel worse than leaving a crying child holding her arms out to me in the arms of my daycare provider :(

[Mindy3094]

My DD is 10 months old and seems to have gotten really clingy the last couple weeks as well. She follows me around the house and if I stop moving, she is on me wanting to be picked up. Nap time has gone down the toilet. I can relate a bit. Fortunately, she is still sleeping well at night. <knock on wood>

When she does wake up into her night time sleep, honestly we do CIO. It totally sucks but I am so afraid if I start going in there, she'll expect me to come in every time and just cry longer and longer each time or get into the habit of waking up every night and crying. When she does wake up, she usually only cries for maybe 5-10 minutes but one night a couple weeks ago (when the sep anxiety started) she went for 40 minutes. It was awful. Then she fell asleep and slept until her normal wake up time around 7am.

I hope it only last a few weeks and she can get back to her normal nap time routine. It's pretty bad right now. It's like she's afraid if she goes to sleep, she'll miss something. I'm defn. interested in hearing more responses. :)

[yby1]

I hope it lasts for just two weeks. I *think* I can deal with two weeks. DS is with DH now and he's fine, but I'm afraid about how he's going to act when my parents come back next week. Hopefully he'll be ok.

Mindy3094 - fortunately naps have been ok for us, but the difference is that he wakes up with an almost "scared" sounding cry instead just the general waking up sounds that he used to make. I'm not opposed to CIO, but I'll give it a few more days to see if he goes back to his normal routine. I hope he does. *crosses fingers* Good luck to you! I hope your DD's naps get better soon. :)

[jdevaz]

yby1 -
I could have written your post.
It breaks my heart every time I walk into my DS's room. He's standing in his crib, arms outstretched, just waiting for me and then holds on for dear life!
Ours started last week after we came back from two nights away (stayed with my parents). I'm hoping it goes away - I can deal with a few weeks.

[BeachBum]

My advice would be avoid bringing him to bed with you at the "new" night waking times. I would sit with him in his room and nurse, soothe etc.

In speaking from my own experience, those extended soothing times were hard to break once the SA times passed. I think that SA is a very real "fear" or "challenge" for them so I do think that reassuring is important. But, my child liked being brought to bed and it was a very hard habit to break.

[smurf]

I think my DD is going through some separation anxiety, but at 6.5 months, isn't she a bit young? She's doing all the things everyone has described in this thread though. Cries when I put her down and walk away, is waking literally 30 minutes after I put her down at night (and then every hour after that), and won't be comforted by anyone but me; and when she's tired, she only wants me, DH can't even entertain her.