separation anxiety--what can I do to make my dog feel better?

[chefker]

I am wondering if this is something to worry about. Hubby travels--a LOT--for work. Our 3 year old basset Ivan, goes into a FUNK every time DH leaves on a trip. He won't eat, cries/howls in his sleep at night, won't play like normal. Then after a few days alone with me, he'll become 'himself' again, but VERY clingy to me. I mean, I can't even go to the bathroom without Ivan trying to follow me in, and normally he's not like that at all, he knows his boundaries.

We finally realized that when Ivan sees DH's suitcase, he's figured out that someone is leaving for an extended period of time. So now DH has to put his suitcase in the garage the night before going on a trip, so the dog doesn't see it!

I don't want my dog to be so sad, but I don't know what to do! I thought about putting something with DH's scent on it--like a T-shirt--under Ivan's head while he's sleeping. It just breaks my heart hearing him cry, even though it doesn't happen the ENTIRE time DH is gone. :(

[nordey]

That's so sad, it just breaks my heart. I'm not sure if I can be of much help to you. I had a dachshund (Atti) growing up that had terrible separation anxiety. We were never really able to help him overcome it, I just wanted to let you know I feel for what you're going through.

I have heard that sometimes getting another dog will help the situation. The theory being that they have someone else (besides a person) to bond with that will be with them all the time. I don't think works for ALL dogs. When our family was finally ready for a dog about 5 years ago I was adamant that we were getting 2 because I didn't want to re-live the nightmare of Atti. One of our dogs, Linus is VERY attached to me, follows me around everywhere, is on my lap if he can be and I'm sure he would freak out when we leave home if not for his sister (Lucy). Yes, Lucy is her brother's babysitter.

[chefker]

I have wondered if another dog might be good company for Ivan. he just loves other dogs!

I guess the only good thing is, I'm home a lot, as I work from home two days a week, and I don't work weekends, unless there's OT available. So there's almost always someone here. Ivan is just soooooo attached to my husband, it hits him really hard when he's not around.

Since Ivan was a rescue dog (was neglected), I think he has abandonment issues stemming from way back....and when someone leaves, he seems to think they're not coming back.

Hopefully he will eat supper tonight, he wouldn't touch his breakfast. :(

[catch]

Aww, poor Ivan :( He sounds like such a sweet dog. What if sometimes your husband grabs his suitcase and Ivan and just goes for a spin in the car? Maybe it would help him in some way. Or your husband could leave with his suitcase and come back after an hour. Just so that Ivan sort of understands that your husband will come back and that the suitcase doesn't always mean a bad thing.

My dog Spencer used to cry something awful when I had to go to work. It would break my heart. What I started doing was giving him a little piece of his favorite snack before I went to take out the garbage. Then I'd give him a piece when I went out to do laundry. Then when I left to work. I only give him this particular snack when I have to go somewhere. It's sort of let him knows that I have to go, here's something yummy, I'll be back :) Since he never gets this snack when I'm home, sometimes when he sees me putting shoes on, he's dying for me to leave so I can give him the snack, lol. And then I got another puppy and I think that also helped. Now I have two little mouths waiting for their snack before I go. No crying.

Not sure if that will help any, just an idea. If your dog does love other dogs, maybe a companion would be good for him too. We have a new pup and Spencer is usually distracted with him. He's not always waiting for me to entertain him, he's got a schedule you know, things to do, people to see, lol.

Good luck!

[fats]

Ugh, I totally know what you're going through only worse. My dog has horrible separation anxiety. She's had it forever. For her it's not just being in a funk when we're gone, she actually has accidents in the house.

When I first moved in with DH she would do it whenever I was gone. He recently told me that a few times she would hide under the bed after I left! Breaks my heart! Now that we've been living together a few years, she's usually ok if I leave and he's still home but it's awful when we both leave. She starts to get anxious as soon as she can tell we're getting ready.

I've been doing research on the internet recently becasue I was looking up housebreaking info (we're getting a new puppy!) so I came across some articles about separation anxiety as well. Nola has every single symptom they listed! There are supposedly ways to try and get your dog used to the absences although none of these work with Nola. It seems it's only a problem when your husband is gone? You should have him leave for short periods of time (with the suitcase, if that's the trigger) and gradually lengthen those times. I'm talking about 5 minutes at first. Supposedly, this should help the dog realize that just because he's leaving he's not leaving for good.

Getting another dog is NOT a solution. (It's not why we're getting one, we just want a second dog) The dog has separation anxiety because your husband is not there. It's not just because he's lonely, it's specifically linked to your husband. A trainer actually gave me a good analogy - he said it's like if you're in the mall with your small child and you turn around and all of a sudden your kid is gone. The panic that you feel is the same feelign the dog gets when it realizes you're gone.

There's lots of info on the net if you look around for it. Good luck!

[katiadarling]

Just getting anxious when your DH leaves isn't actually true separation anxiety. It just sounds like he just misses him (as opposed to destroying couches, barking and crying, trying to scratch through the front door, having accidents.... fill in terrible behavior here).

That being said, I think your DH could use some of the same techniques used to "cure" separation anxiety to work with this issue. You should watch and identify what triggers the anxiety to start (suitcase for example). Then just randomly set out the suitcase for a little while and then put it away again. When Ivan is used to that (no more anxiety triggered), then you can put out the suitcase, walk to the door, come back. Take BABY steps, you can't go too slowly in the beginning. If at any point he starts getting anxious, go back a step and proceed more slowly. Basically, what you're doing is desensitizing Ivan to the cues of your DH leaving so he won't care so much.

Another thing to do (in addition to desensitizing) is to give Ivan a kong or sterilized bone filled w/ peanut butter or something else yummy when DH goes to the door, and then take it away when he comes back, so leaving is good, being home isn't (because he gets yummy stuff when DH is gone).

A good book on separation anxiety is "I'll be Home Soon" by Patricia McConnell. We've had our dog for about a year and have been working with severe separation anxiety the whole time. Just this past week we fostered a dog and Marley did awesome when we were gone (they were both crated, but could see each other). The foster dog is gone now, but Marley is still doing well when left. (we're praying this continues!)

It could help to get Ivan a buddy (although frankly his anxiety doesn't sound bad at all), but it also could not help... it all depends.

There's my book on separation anxiety! Hope that helped!

[greenbunny]

My cat was also upset when one of us would leave, but she's improved. I do think being in a shelter makes it hard for them to trust people again. I've found that, like another poster mentioned, leaving out worn clothing makes her happy. I sleep in a t-shirt and leave it on the couch for her, she is always cuddling it when I get home. Also, even if we are home, she likes to lay near anything worn. If I have a pair of pants I wore out to dinner laying on a chair, or if DH changes socks and leaves his old ones thrown in a corner :rolleyes: I will always find her laying with them.

[julietchicago]

There are different extremes of separation anxiety. It can be mild, or severe. My lab had this a few years ago pretty bad. Now we leave the radio or TV on when we are gone and that seems to help. Since we have gotten our other 2 dogs she has gotten much better.

P.S. We have a basset too and we just LOVE her...they are great dogs aren't they??

[chefker]

Thanks so much for all the suggestions, girls. Y'all are the best. :)

I don't think Ivan has textbook separation anxiety; rather, he just exhibits his sadness pretty dramatically! Now he has taken to sniffing DH's nasty, mowing-the-grass sneakers, and crying softly. Then he'll sigh and lay next to them. So, maybe he is finding comfort in DH's scent (gross that it comes from his nastiest pair of shoes....)

It does seem worse in the mornings--even on the days I work at home. Perhaps this is because Ivan and DH have a routine; he always walks Ivan in the morning, after I feed him. They take about a 15-20 minute walk usually.

Now that I'm thinking about it, maybe Ivan is noticing that the walk part of his 'routine' is missing (I don't have time to walk him quite as long before heading out to work), and it makes him realize 'something' is amiss. I can definitely make extra time to walk Ivan on days I work at home, but days I go into the office, it's more of a time crunch. :confused:

Great ideas about setting the suitcase out, especially when DH is NOT traveling!