GAME - The wrong answer game

[Adaya]

Johnny Carson

How do you put out a grease fire?

[sublime311]

Water!

What is a pregnancy test used for?

[nicole]

It tells you if you need a hearing aid.

Where can you buy a diamond tiara?

[sublime311]

Home Depot

Other than popcorn, what else can I buy at a movie theater concession stand?

[nicole]

Earmuffs.

Where do polar bears live?

[sublime311]

Equador.

What are sugar plums?

[nicole]

They're microscopic creatures that carry tiny chisels and they chip away at your teeth if you don't brush them often enough.

What is the Big Red Spot?

[sublime311]

My shirt after eating spaghetti.

Why did Elvis gyrate so much?

[Adaya]

Because he had ants in his pants

What is sausage made of?

[sublime311]

cold nachos.

What is the best way to hold a pencil?

[Adaya]

between your toes

What kinds of shows are shown on Game Show Network?

[sublime311]

Silent movies.

What caused the Great Depression?

[Adaya]

Everybody was too happy all at the same time and then just all of sudden crashed and went into a deep depression.

What is silly putty?

[sublime311]

The stuff you put around your silly tub to seal it.

What are some good uses of Duct Tape?

[CLW4KU]

Heal a broken heart

Why do people people leave flowers by your door on May Day?

[CLW4KU]

Wow! I killed it!

Let's try.....

How many legs does a centipede have?

[mgrace]

4

What color is grass?

[CLW4KU]

red

how long do you bake a cake?

[c'est la vie]

3 hours

What are you doing right now?

[sublime311]

Sleeping.

Where does "mountain spring water" come from?

[Toonces]

A rusty well

What sport does the Super Bowl represent?

[CLW4KU]

The all-star bowling league

How do you score a touchdown?

[Adaya]

By driving around a track 100 times.

What is 100 divided by 100?

[pontmarie]

17

Where's the sky?

[Adaya]

in the refrigerator

What is your middle name?

[whos that girl]

Adaya!

What is an endoscopy?

[sublime311]

An Irish guy with a funny name... End O'Scopy.

What is an extinguisher used for?

[Adaya]

lighting cigarettes

What does "vice versa" mean?

[sublime311]

It's the process of holding the glued parts of your Nissan Versa together using an ancient grip-like tool.

What is the primary purpose of myspace.com?

[Adaya]

to find apartments

What is the Super Bowl?

[sublime311]

The ideal bowl from which to eat Cherry Garcia ice cream.

What is the purpose of filing.

[pocahontas]

It is actually the phonetic spelling of a Chinese prophet's name (Phi Ling).

Who was the host of American Bandstand?

[May27JnJ]

Band-Aid is was a convention they had.

Who invented the light bulb?

[Brandles]

According to my 3rd graders, it was ANYONE but Edison...either Benjamin Franklin or Alexander Graham Bell (the other two choices).

What is the answer to the meaning of life?

[May27JnJ]

To get presents.

What does GYN stand for? (HaHa!)

[pocahontas]

Grotesque Yucky Necessity :D

How do you say, "Hello" in French?

[mindy75]

Adios

Why do we need oxygen?

[pocahontas]

Because Oprah has everything else...why not her own channel? :rolleyes:

What is a Mod's job?

[Adaya]

they dress fashion model's

Who is cupid?

[nicole]

A short green creature that grants wishes.

How many pecks are in a bushel?

[whos that girl]

3 1/2

Why is the sky blue?

[Brandles]

Because it would be absurd if it were red!

Why is snow cold?

[AmandaLeigh]

Because it keeps the earth from catching on fire

What do you ski on?

[Adaya]

stilts

Where is Hawaii located?

[pocahontas]

Only in my mind...:D

Why do people snore?

[Adaya]

Ugghhhhh......Star Wars I guess.

Always feel like there is an eyelash in your eye or a hair in your throat?

[sublime311]

Cheese is the answer. It always is.

Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

[pocahontas]

What?! There are only highways and byways in life!

What is a riddle?

[sublime311]

It's the act of getting rid of an annoying middle sibling.

What are the names of the seven dwarfs?

[whos that girl]

Bastardino, Cranky, Goofy, Stoner, Greasy, Pretty, and Mushy.

What do you use glue for?

[sublime311]

To ensure long lasting make-up applications.

What was the name of Charlie Brown's dog?

[Adaya]

Garfield

What's in a Mars bar?

[pocahontas]

Little green men and rock salt

What is a male chauvinist?

[Adaya]

a sleazy Las Vegas stripper

What is in a tuna casserole?

[sublime311]

Venison, cherrios and string cheese baked for 4 hours at 475 degrees.

Why are French fries called that?

[Brandles]

Because they were invented by Garfield and shipped with Nermal to Abu Dhabi!

What color was Washington's white horse?

[sublime311]

He was a natural brunette.

Who delivered the Emancipation Proclamation?

[Brandles]

The Woggles!

Why is snow white?

[CLW4KU]

because the smurfs are blue

what makes the grass grow?

[BumbleB]

Kool-Aid!

Why does an Octopus have eight legs?

[CLW4KU]

Because 6 isn't enough and 10 is too many!

What ingredients are in chocolate chip cookies?

[sublime311]

Squid, poker chips and yogurt.

What makes non-stick pans work?

[pocahontas]

Vaseline

What is the square root of 9?

[BumbleB]

2,142 and 1 penny


What makes the telephone ring?

[mgrace]

The sun

Who was the 1st US President?

[sublime311]

Kennedy

What happened to Michael Jackson's face?

[Adaya]

his monkey, Bubbles has licked it everyday for the past 30 years

What kind of equipment do you need to ski?

[mindy75]

A surf board and a bikini.

What type of fuel powers most vehicles?

[pocahontas]

Voodoo.

What is the purpose of TV commercials?

[sublime311]

To end world hunger.

Why are stuffed toy bears called "teddy bears"?

[CLW4KU]

Because the word "chainsaw" was already taken.

Why was six afraid of seven?

[sublime311]

Because six is a vampire and seven had eaten some garlic toast.

in what country was the ice cream cone invented?

[pocahontas]

Iceland

Who are the Beastie Boys?

[BumbleB]

Christmas Elfs who run around with scary masks on - quite ridiculous, really.


Where is the North Pole located?

[Adaya]

in South Africa

What's in a BLT?

[sublime311]

bananas, loganberries, and tangelos.

What is SPAM?

[CLW4KU]

SPAM is what contractors put in your walls to make sure they can withstand tornados.

What is the purpose of the tongue?

[sublime311]

Toe jam cleaner. (ok, ew.)

What is a mechanical pencil?

[pocahontas]

A robotic device they used on that cartoon The Jetson's.

Where is the Taj Mahal located?

[sublime311]

The Mall of America

What are the plactic tips on showlaces called?

[CLW4KU]

Shoehorns

What color do you get when you mixed yellow and blue?

[Brandles]

Puce!

Why is it cold in winter?

[sublime311]

Because the sun takes a long winter's nap.

How do mammals feed their babies?

[Brandles]

With drive thru McDonald's!

Why does Adobe Acrobat keep crashing my computer?

[Adaya]

Your computer is on its period.

Where is the Statue of Liberty?

[tgr68]

Colorado

What is the world's largest mammal?

[Brandles]

The cockroach.

When will it get warm again?

[Adaya]

December 2008

What is the deal with Donald Trump's hair?

[Brandles]

A million dollars and a barrel of spending money!

What is a "shoe nut"?

[sublime311]

The present your kitty leaves for you in your slippers.

How is catnip different than marijuana?

[Brandles]

They are both green.

Who the heck called me from a 330 area code?

[sublime311]

Marge Simpson. She wants her hairstyle back..

lol

What is an Oscar?

[Adaya]

a chocolate candy bar with peanuts

What is in a bouquet?

[Brandles]

The word "banquet" spelled wrong.

What state touches no other state?

[tgr68]

Kansas

How old am I?

[Brandles]

72!

Why is the Academy Award statue called "Oscar"?

[mindy75]

Because "Horatio" just didn't have the same ring to it.

Who hosted the Oscars this year?

[Brandles]

Horation Q. Whoose-A-Fat, III!!! (that's one of my nick-names for my cat!)

What color are the leaves on the trees?

[AmandaLeigh]

pale blue.

When do the flowers bloom?

[Brandles]

When the moon is in the 2nd house and Jupiter alligns with Mars...

What is Joe Bucky Tire?

[Adaya]

The Michelin Man's uncle.

What are "Livestrong" bracelets?

[Brandles]

A #1 with cheese and a Coke!

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

[pocahontas]

He actually wouldn't 'cuz he got hit by that mack truck on I-70 and is now roadkill.

What do frog legs taste like?

[Adaya]

chocolate cake

Where does one wear a wig?

[AmandaLeigh]

In the swimming pool.

Why do we eat birthday cake?

[Adaya]

To mourn the passing of our loved ones

What is in the "special sauce" at McDonald's?

[May27JnJ]

Snot!

Where do babies come from?

[pocahontas]

Depends...typically the boys are from Mars and girls are from Venus.

Why do we use utensils to eat?

[mindy75]

Because it's a Federal Offense if you don't...

What are the three branches of the US government?

[pocahontas]

Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbass. lol

Where was the Emancipation Proclaimation signed?

[sublime311]

Mexico City

How old do you have to be to have a sweet sixteen party?

[Brandles]

21.

When does Daylight Saving Time begin this year?

[sublime311]

Groundhog's Day


How is ice cream made?

[Brandles]

Just like wine is!

Why did Longaberger build a big basket?

[pocahontas]

Because everyone knows "SIZE MATTERS". ;)

Why do some kids drop out of high school at 16?

[mindy75]

Because they are the smartest people in the world

What do teachers do?

[Brandles]

(Man, the things I could say.... ;) )
Hang out all day, get paid for nothing and have fun!

Why do grow-light bulbs cost so much?

[pocahontas]

Because they are trying to get us all to go back to using candles and kerosene and forget lightbulbs were ever invented.

Why is CC is addictive?

[Brandles]

Because it goes well with a nice merlot.

When is St. Patrick's Day?

[pocahontas]

The same day as the other holiday involving "green", Christmas.

What is the best topping to put on pizza?

[Adaya]

shoelaces

What is the capital of Argentina?

[whos that girl]

Paris

What is the speed of sound?

[pocahontas]

The name of a movie with Julie Andrews.

How do rocks form?

[sublime311]

By mixing yellow and blue together.

Why is the place in Arizona called the "Grand Canyon"?

[pocahontas]

Well, it was either that or "Place With Rocks That Hurt My Bunions"...needless to say, they liked "Grand Canyon" better. :D LOL

What is a quadrilateral?

[sublime311]

another clever name for a circle.

What does IRS stand for?

[pocahontas]

Irrelevant Random Shit :D

What is the purpose of a cell phone?

[sublime311]

To stop the voices in your head.

How is a calendar organized?

[pocahontas]

By time zones, longitude, and latitude

What is the Final Four?

[CLW4KU]

The Final Four is the sequel to the Three Amigos

What are you supposed to do on a honeymoon?

[pocahontas]

Moon people after eating a jar of honey? :o

Why do people get headaches?

[BumbleB]

Because their legs are tired

Where does bottled water come from?

[pocahontas]

A dump truck.

What is hay fever?

[1_mommy]

when you watch to much tv

who was the first president of the united states?

[sublime311]

Johnny Carson

What do construction workers do?

[whos that girl]

Dance to the Y M C A!

What do we use a pen for?

[sublime311]

Scratching the inner ear.

What is a debit card?

[pocahontas]

The card next to the joker in the deck.

What is a Pussycat Doll?

[sublime311]

Boo Boo Kitty from Laverne and Shirley

What's a "Clapper"?

[mgrace]

Someone who claps for you, and just for you

Who is Mr. Potato Head?

[pocahontas]

My Ex-BF :D

What are the ingredients in blueberry muffins?

[Adaya]

noodles and carrots

What do you use toothpaste for?

[msnicolea]

lubrication

Why is the sky blue?

[pocahontas]

Angels came down and made it that way.

What do you do with a telescope?

[Adaya]

pleasure yourself when your SO goes out of town. (I crack myself up! :D)

What do you do with a floppy disk?

[Kimberland30]

Put cheese and pepperoni on it and make a pizza.

What is a calculator?

[Adaya]

a compact car made by Nissan

What comes in a Happy Meal?

[sublime311]

valium and vodka

What is a vegeterian?

[Adaya]

a short-haired cat

How many miles is a marathon?

[May27JnJ]

7

What does OBGYN stand for?

[Adaya]

Overly Bold Girls You Need

What do you wear to a masquerade ball?

[sublime311]

A moisturizing face mask and sneakers (that's all).

Who was the first super model?

[pocahontas]

Boy George

Why do so many celebrities get divorced?

[CLW4KU]

Because the sky is falling

Why do April Showers bring May Flowers?

[sublime311]

To get the Pilgrims to America.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[Adaya]

Because Colonel Sanders was chasing it with hot grease and his secret herbs and spices.

What colors are Easter eggs typically dyed?

[sublime311]

Pooptastic Brown and Blackest Black

What is a tampon?

[Adaya]

a type of sub sandwich made with cheese and veggies

How fast do NASCAR drivers go?

[sublime311]

They travel at the speed of light.

What is pi?

[Adaya]

a slice of pizza

What color is jade?

[pocahontas]

The same color as marmalade because they rhyme, of course. ;)

Why do we sweat when it's hot?

[sublime311]

because the sun has a deal with antiperspirant companies to keep them in business.

What causes waves in the ocean?

[Adaya]

a bunch of people farting at the same time near the shoreline

Who are the Supremes?

[sublime311]

Singing diapers from a TV commercial - similar to the California Raisins.

What is kettle corn?

[Adaya]

creamed corn cooked in a big witch's kettle

What kind of magazine is People magazine?

[pocahontas]

It's not really a magazine...if you put lemon juice on it and hold it up to a light you'll be able to see the secret alien code inside. :p

What is scuba diving?

[Adaya]

the desperate activity of digging for the last few fries in the bottom of the bag

Who is currently the Secretary of State?

[pocahontas]

the ghost of Richard Nixon

Why is the lion cowardly in the Wizard of Oz?

[Adaya]

Because his mother dropped him on his head a few times.

What kind of food do you get at Subway?

[1_mommy]

spicey mexican food

Who is the current President

[Adaya]

Doctor McDreamy

What is American Idol?

[sublime311]

The official name of the tiki god from that Brady Bunch Hawaii episode.

Who or what is a Sanjaya?

[Adaya]

a flatbread rolled and stuffed with peanut butter and bananas

What is Crunch and Munch?

[sublime311]

The two lions at the San Diego Zoo.

What is a "hemi"?

[pocahontas]

The code name you use when you want to "overshare" that you have hemmroids. :D

Why do sports teams have mascots?

[Adaya]

To carry them away when a team member gets hurt

What do women use to shave their legs?

[AHammer]

hunting knives.. obviously.

Why is a wine glass shaped like that?

[sublime311]

So that you get a piggy nose when you take a drink as is customary in Europe.

Who invented the internet?

[1_mommy]

Ronald McDonald

Why did the chicken cross the road?

[sublime311]

To borrow a cup of sugar.

What is the difference between a clock and a watch?

[Adaya]

A clock only has lowercase letters and a happy face and a watch just has a happy face.

When is Christmas Eve?

[sublime311]

It's on Eve's birthday.

What is serendipity?

[pocahontas]

A new dip made from asparagas and chicken liver.

Why should you wear a helmet when riding a motorcycle?

[Adaya]

it helps you see the road better

How many legs does a centipede have?

[pocahontas]

Actually they don't have any...it's wheels that make them go that fast!

Why do they use all those symbols in trigonometry?

[CLW4KU]

because they can't hear

Why is a blackboard green?

[AHammer]

because aliens designed it, and tha's the way it was on their home planet.

why doesn't it rain much in the desert?

[pocahontas]

Because then people would have to go to the bathroom more often.

What is "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" about?

[Adaya]

It's a movie about a drag show held at a bar called "The Zoo".

How much do things cost at the dollar store?

[sublime311]

prices are set on a sliding scale based on your last year's tax return.

why do cats purr?

[whos that girl]

Because they are hungry.

What causes the onset of stupidity in Washington D.C.?

[sublime311]

Inbreeding

What are the colors of the spectrum?

[mindy75]

the United Colors of Bennetton

What do you celebrate at a birthday party?

[sublime311]

HS graduation.

what does a ceiling fan do?

[mindy75]

cheers for ceilings

When is the next presidential election?

[sublime311]

Right after the changing of the guard in London.

In cartoons, why does a light bulb over someone's head represent an idea?

[CLW4KU]

Because if the light wasn't there how could we see it? It'd be dark

Why do the days of the week end in "y"?

[pocahontas]

To remind us "y" we should be grateful to see another day.

Why are one of my bosses making me do something over that I did last year that IMHO doesn't need to be revamped?? Grrr...:mad:

[sublime311]

To make sure you have something to do - they don't want you to feel bored an unchallenged with your job.

What is neon?

[whos that girl]

Pastel colors.

Finish the following lyric:

"Head, shoulders, knees and ____"

[sublime311]

eye of newt

What is the most efficient way to blow your nose?

[whos that girl]

By sucking soda up your nose!

Where do aliens come from?

[CLW4KU]

my grandmother's attic

Why do some people have 6 fingers on one hand?

[sublime311]

Because it helps in counting.

What is ice cream?

[pocahontas]

Frosty the Snowman's favorite shower gel

Where is the North Pole?

[sublime311]

5 miles north of the equator.

What are baked beans?

[CLW4KU]

medicine for people who are constipated

What is the main ingredient in peanut butter cookies?

[BumbleB]

Attitude!

Why is it called a sailboat?

[Fenway]

because it smells funny.

How do you wash your clothes?

[1_mommy]

with shaving cream

what is the superbowl?

[Adaya]

a stainless steel bowl that has super powers to make anything you want to eat

What is a dildo?

[Fenway]

Dildo is the main charactor in a new Disney movie.

How do you make a PB & J?

[pocahontas]

With Piss, Beer, and Jalepenos, of course.

What does a printer do?

[Adaya]

make belgian waffles

What is the "root" in root beer soda?

[Chelsea524]

Gasoline

Who was George Washington?

[Adaya]

Paris Hilton's father

How many are in a set of quadruplets?

[mindy75]

52.75

What is the Bill of Rights?

[Sarah Smyth]

A bill us right handed people have to pay yearly.

What exactly is regurgitation?

[Adaya]

saying wedding vows

What do you use a broom for?

[CLW4KU]

to fluff up your front yard before company comes over

What song is sung during the 7th inning stretch?

[Adaya]

My Humps

What is in a chef's salad?

[sublime311]

Soy crumbles, peanuts, and cool whip

What is a waterfall?

[Adaya]

a fall that happens when you slip on a puddle of water

What is an afro?

[sublime311]

A new hybrid car...

what is an armed robbery?

[whos that girl]

When people steal arms.

What is a Hummer?

[sublime311]

A large variety of hummingbirds.

In internet addresses, what does "www" mean?

[mindy75]

Wide World of Wieners...Oscar Mayer network

What goes on a hamburger bun?

[Adaya]

a hotdog

What is a microphone?

[mindy75]

a teeny, tiny telephone

What is that big, orange ball in the sky called? The one that provides heat and light to the earth.

[whos that girl]

Dingleball

What is sarcasm?

[sublime311]

The inability to differentiate between colors of the spectrum.

What is aloe routinely used for?

[Adaya]

a screaming orgasm

How do you do a cartwheel?

[sublime311]

You whittle it out of a fallen tree branch.

What type of instrument is a bango?

[Adaya]

it is a medical instrument used by an ob-gyn

What makes golden raisins "golden"?

[sublime311]

Their winning attitude.

What does the air travel rule, 3-1-1, refer to?

[sublime311]

Resurrecting this dead thread:

3 peanuts per flyer, 1 foot of leg room, and 1 foot fungus aquired during the security check.

Why do golf balls have dimples?

[Adaya]

Because men think the dimples are cute!

What is the capital of Peru?

[sublime311]

P. Duh. "P" is the only capital letter in "Peru".

What is a ringtone?

[Adaya]

The color of a ring.

Who is Spiderman?

[sublime311]

An exterminator.

What is a burn?

[Adaya]

a salsa dance move

When is the next full moon?

[sublime311]

When I take a shower tonight.

What is a harvest moon?

[Adaya]

a moon that has fruits and berries on it

What does CSI stand for?

[permanentvacay]

Cherries Sunlight Indigestion

what's a bifocal?

[Adaya]

a bike with 6 wheels and 2 seats

What is a lei?

[1_mommy]

a cough syrup

how often should you wash your clothes

[sublime311]

You should wash your entire warbrobe at least two times per day. It prevents moth damage.

What is global warming?

[permanentvacay]

a brand of shampoo

what is octane?

[CLW4KU]

the month after septane

What do you find in a mailbox?

[whos that girl]

baby pandas.

How do you get gum out of your hair?