xpost: Wedding in Charleston SC

[paiger]

i posted this in my area, but want to make sure people in that area or similar areas see it:
DH and i were invited to a wedding in Charleston at 7pm. is anyone in that area (or have been to a wedding in that area) that can tell me about the dress code for a wedding like this. is it common knowledge that this is going to be super fancy? i'm REALLY worried about what to wear, and it is a month away. where i am from, there are no super fancy weddings as it is a really small town with always sunday dress weddings.

DH only has a light brown suit. we had planned on getting him a black suit in the fall for a conference he's going to, but i'm worried that the material isn't dark enough for the wedding. it isn't khaki colored or anything, but it is a caramel-like brown. he has a blue shirt and a colored tie to go with it.

i think the nicest dress i have (i hope i fit into it!) is a black dress. the problem is that it isn't the best of materials (it came from Express), and it is one of those neck lines that cross over so it is a 'standing dress'. aka, it tends to come open when i sit, so i'll be fidgeting with it. the only other semi-nice dress i have is this one from The Loft:
http://s7ondemand1.scene7.com/is/image/AnnTaylorLoft/126410_9000?$outfit$

it is made out of cotton, though, so the material is not at all dressy. i just have mostly church type clothes. help!!

do i need to bit the bullet and explain to DH that we have to get his black suit and get me a dress (or one or the other). how do i tell if the black dress is appropriate, and what should i buy if i can't wear my other dresses.

[CarolinaGirl]

It really depends on whose wedding it is. Are they themselves more formal or casual? The dress you posted looks nice. You will probably see some dressed more formal than others. Lately, the look is more coctailish, especially after 6pm, so if you had a little black dress that is strapless, that would probably be perfect. For men, usually a wedding that late calls for a tux, but I've been to late weddings where the men wear a dark suit. Like I said, it depends on the couple getting married.

[amew]

I'm not trying to scare you at all, but most of the several weddings I have been to in the Southeast have followed the old ettiquette rule that a wedding held after 6 is blacktie. My DH and I found out the hard way when he showed up to a 7pm wedding in Atlanta in a dark suit and was literally the only man there who wasn't in a tux.

Unless your friends are formal people, chances are it's not actually blacktie, but a dark suit for your DH and a cocktail dress for you may be in order. Do you mind sharing where it is (outside, hotel, country club, etc.)? That might help clue us in. But f in doubt, I would call the couple or one of their close friends and ask -- better than showing up and feeling that you are not dressed appropriately.

[paiger]

I don't necessarily think they are formal people (ie black tie), but I will have DH ask about the cocktail dress/dark suit thing. However, that's why I came here to ask first, b/c it is the groom that is DH's friend. I don't know her well at all (we've spoken a few times), and I think sometimes you can't rely on boys to really know! I think the groom wouldn't want DH to think it is too formal, so he would tell DH one thing, then I'm stuck relying on him when I know that a 7pm wedding in a place like Charleston would be really fancy.

i am in a wedding this weekend and the dress on the right is the one i'm wearing. the look of the dress is in the bottom picture, but the color is better in the top picture. what do y'all think of this? i am going to take the skirt to have it made more A-line after the wedding, but it is definitely taffeta. does it scream bridesmaid dress? could it be considered a cocktail dress? i'm trying to weigh ALL my options to present to DH if i need a new dress for the wedding.
http://*****************************/makeamatch/catalog_page_9.jpg

http://**********************/db/it-t.xml?cmp-image=t,/db/mam_8725citrusgreen_dress.fpx&cmp-color=t,x000000&cmp-image=b,/db/mam_8725citrusgreen.fpx&cmp-image=s,/db/mam_8730_1.fpx&cmp-color=s,xD2D770&cmp-end=1&wid=180&hei=320&cvt=jpg

[Golightly]

Oh, that's pretty... That might work just fine. What about adding a wrap in a pink or blue to make it look less bridesmaidy?

If the wedding is black tie, which tradition generally dictates for after 6pm (or at least very formal), I'd wear that pretty bridesmaid dress. Don't forget that in a pinch you can always rent a dark suit or tux for your DH and bring it with you to the wedding. If you get something very understated and simple, and add his own tie and shirt (with the suit option) no one will know.

Good luck! I bet you guys will look perfect.
Cheers,

[ktdelsur]

If it didn't say blacktie, don't go TOO formal.

I used to live in Charleston - so tell me this: WHERE is the wedding/reception being held? That will tell me a lot. I think your first dress from The Loft should be fine, though.

[paiger]

okay, the invitation doesn't say black tie, so does that mean it isn't?

the ceremony is at St. Luke's Chapel w/ a reception at The Wickliffe House.

the invitations are thermapresses (not engraved) and the reception invitation is on the invitation not included in a separate card, so is this an indication that it isn't as formal as the time suggests. we didn't have engraved invites and also included the reception info on the actual invitation, so that's why i thought that meant maybe just dress clothes but not formal.

[amew]

okay, the invitation doesn't say black tie, so does that mean it isn't?

No necessarily. Under the most traditional ettiquette rules, one would not put a dress requirement on the invitation, but rather would let the time of day dictate the dress (as Golightly said, tradition would dictate that a wedding after 6pm is blacktie).

If itis blacktie, I think the b-maid dress you posted would be fine. If you don't feel comfortable calling the couple, their parents, or someone in the wedding party, you could try calling the reception site and asking them what the typical dress is for an evening wedding at that location.

[ktdelsur]

I would choose something midway between the first dress you chose and the bridesmaid-look dress. I think the bridesmaid's dress is too dressy for this. I've been to both of those places and something in between would be fine.

I recently went to an evening wedding and wore a sleeveless black dress w/ heels, and a colored wrap so I was not entirely "black". Maybe that is an option?

If your DH was expected to wear a tux - it would say so, in my experience. A dark suit would be fine.

[paiger]

we heard back from the groom, and it isn't black tie.

so, do you think a dark suit is a must? DH's suit is very much like the color of this jacket, but he doesn't wear it w/ that shirt and tie look. his shirt is royal blue and the tie is much more understated.
http://198.246.251.11/fpx/look_template.psd.xml?cmp-show=378476_GB_S05&cmp-show=441203_KC_F03&cmp-show=550591_JF_S05_collar&cmp-show=550591_JF_S05&cmp-show=813171204_S04&cmp-end=1&qlt=90&rgn=0.279,0.0375,0.207,0.240&wid=153&hei=177&ftr=5&cvt=jpeg

y'all must think i'm completely inept!! i so appreciate your help w/ this! thanks, paige