I am such a jerk.

[shimmerstar]

Tonight was my mom's birthday party and we were all there celebrating. Right in front of everyone, I called my brother's new girlfriend by his old girlfriend's name. And to make it worse, the ex has been terrorizing this new girl. The reason I called her that is because I had just gone through my parents computer and deleted all the pictures of old GF, so I had her on the brain.
I feel like such a crapface. I told my brother I was sorry, and he said "just don't make a big deal out of it". Then later my dad apparently told her about the computer. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I am so mad at myself. They have been dating for 5 months now and I hate that I might have hurt her feelings. I can't stop thinking about it. :mad:

[BTB]

My first thought was - hey, people understand, I still call accidentally call my IL's dog by their previous dog's name every now and then, and then feel terrible because that dog died unexpectedly and it was really hard on the family. I think people know sometimes names slip out out of habit.

I'm not sure what to tell you though, I'd say consider sending some sort of small token of apology to the GF if you feel it's necessary, but then your brother asked you not to make a big deal out of it and that certainly would.

If you apologized once, I'd let it go. You feeling bad about it proves you're a nice person, a jerk wouldn't think twice and would be out kicking kittens. :)

[Jennifer]

I did this with my brothers girlfriend too (and they've been dating over a year!)...it happens - appologize and make sure to use her name ;) and it will all be fine!

We all have what my friends refer to as "brain farts"

[IrisHope]

It sucks but it happened. Forgive yourself and let it go. We have all done things like this.

[eli1126]

My sister dated a guy named let's say "Ben" and then they broke up and she married "Ken".....We've all been there, but don't beat yourself up :)

Beth

[cr8zyforaf]

My MIL forgot my name at a family gathering - yet remembered his brothers girlfriends name (they had been dating for a few months, I had been dating DH for about 2 years) - she was calling us up for a picture so everyone heard her say "come on up Sue and uh, uh...." Sh*t happens...don't beat yourself up over it. I just laughed it off.

[cakes]

I've done this ~ my brother is now dating a girl named Erin and his ex is named Erika (and they both look identical, but that's another story :rolleyes: )

I've done the calling by the opposite name thing a lot of times, I feel so bad though, but my mom does that same thing too. And Erika was psycho towards both my brother and his current gf since they all had to live in the same house in college so neither are fond of hearing her name.

Edited: Because I managed to flip the girls names. Now hows that for bad :rolleyes:

[IrisHope]

DHs best friend just got divorced from his wife Leslie. He's not engaged to Linda. Ugh, I just know I'm going to f-up one day soon.

[DiscoDiva]

I've accidentally called my DH by my ex-DH's name! Now that is putting your foot in your mouth! But, sometimes it just happens.... what can you do?

For the record, I have absolutely NO interest in my ex-DH, and DH knows that.

[Lizard]

We went on a trip with my BIL and his girlfriend Kristen a few weeks ago... my husband called their hotel room, didn't recognize the voice that answered the phone and said "Shannon?", which was his brother's ex's name. :eek: He apologized up and down, and was really embarassed about it... later on BIL said, "You think that's bad, Kristen once called me by HER ex's name during sex". So now he doesn't feel so bad. :D

I've been called my husband's ex-wife's name several times, by some of his family members... it doesn't bother me. We're humans and bound to make mistakes. :)

[lml41981]

DH's grandmother calls me by our niece's name. I'm Lyndsey, she's Sydney. She's 3. One would think that after two years of marriage to her grandson GMIL would call me by my own name...especially considering that my name is her own maiden name. It makes me livid when she does it, but that's because I know that she really does know my name, she just thinks she's being cute.

The first couple times it happened, I laughed it off. It wasn't until it got to be a pattern that it started pissing me off. So, hopefully the girlfriend is the same as me and hopefully you won't be like my GMIL and make it a pattern. ;)

[shimmerstar]

Thanks, it makes me feel a little better (in a sick way) to know that so many other people have done this. ;)
I still feel really depressed about it. Mainly because he called last night and said "don't worry, no one's mad". Then I asked him if they were still planning to come here next weekend and he said "I'm not making any guarantees". Since they were into the plan a few hours earlier, I can't help but think she just doesn't want to be around me anymore. Or that he is mad. He is super protective of his girlfriends around my family, so I may never see them again!
Then part of me gets mad because it really shouldn't be that big of a deal. I can't read her very well yet, so I can't tell if she is real upset about it or just laughed it off. For all I know she could have been crying hysterically all night about it.
I wish I could just erase last night!

[greenbunny]

My mom's closest friend was killed while on a walk early one morning, she was struck by a car. Her husband has since remarried and I was in the room when someone accidentally called her by the dead wife's name. It's terribly awkward, but it isn't meant to be an insult. Now you got it out of the way, and I'm sure you were mortified enough that it won't happen again.

[ktsb]

You've apologized sincerely. What more could anyone want.

Try not to read anything into your brothers change in plans. I know it's hard but you may be projecting your feelings into the situation much more than you think.

I am bad about doing this too until one day someone told me "everyone's not sitting around thinking about you."

It's just silly for your brother or her to decide they don't want to be around you anymore because of this one totally meaningless thing. They may find themselves without much interaction with family and friends if they are so sensitive.

Hang in there. The fact that you are so concerned shows you are a caring person.

[lawyerlee]

Please don't be so hard on yourself. It was obviously a mistake, and we've all been there. Hopefully she's an understanding person and won't be bent out of shape about it.

[charliezangel]

a completel mistake. On the uncle's wedding day, my grandmother called his new wife by his Ex's name!!!!! Thankfully, she wasn't there to hear it, but we all looked at granma and just dropped our jaws. Of course, it blew over pretty quickly and now we laught about it. If you are really feeling awful, maybe get her a little card and just tell her how much you enjoy having her in your famiy and that your "brain fart" has nothing to do with that. I'm sure she would appreciate the encouragement anyway.

[IrisHope]

I have got to say if she carries this anger and hurt it has more about her than it does about you. I'm sure she's made a mistake before too.

[Tanya]

Totally a mistake, you've beaten yourself up enough for it. I once called a BF by an ex-BF's name in front of his friends, and he was pissed. Nevermind they didn't even hear me :rolleyes:.

Lyndsey, my GMIL will not pronounce my name correctly. No matter how much DH corrects her. It bugs him as much as me. I'm not Taaaa-nya like Tanya Tucker. Jeez.

[katmg]

You've apologized and hopefully she's accepted the apology. Try not to dwell on the mistake.

DH once almost accidently called my by his ex-girlfriend's name. We were having a 'discussion,' (i.e. argument) and he started to say "Di..." instead of "Ka.." Oooh I was pissed. But that was a different situation. ;)

[paiger]

Then part of me gets mad because it really shouldn't be that big of a deal.
it should so not be that big of a deal! my dad is terrible about calling guys in my sister's and my life the wrong name. my mom decided to call DH (Jess) Jeff and did it even during the week of the wedding. she'd known him for 3 years. she did it so much that i said it once to him!

DH's family will recount stories to people, and i have to be like 'that was exGF'. i do it very pointedly and call her by her name...which makes me better! DH's brother did that same thing the night of the rehearsal dinner. i give him the benefit of the doubt that that was only the 4th time i'd ever seen him as he never comes home for visits.

anyway, i would think this exact situation would happen to everyone! i mean it is so easy to do. i think i even read in glamour once that there is a certain % of people that will call their SO by their exes name, and it was totally normal from a psychological perspective.

if they don't come to visit, then there is something deeper going on in their relationship. i remember once after FIL (then BF's dad) did that story thing, i got made at Jess just b/c. there was no point in getting upset w/ him, but i did just get some control. i don't know if that makes sense, but i think there is a bit of a power struggle especially about exes in the beginning of a relationship. so, she's probably just making him grovel about it for no reason!

[oceaneast]

I've been called Jeff's ex name before by his best friend. (I had been with Jeff for over three years when it happened) I laughed it off, I knew he as humiliated. Hopefully your brother's new girlfriend will understand.

[shimmerstar]

Well, I had lunch with them today and it was kind of akward, but they didn't seem mad. I think I'm off the hook this time. I'm so terrified that I will do it again, just because I've been thinking about it so much! I've been repeating their names together in my head over and over, to practice. :D

[AndreaMMS]

Every once in a while my Grandmother used to call me by the DOG'S name!!! How's THAT for insulting? I laugh about it now- the names aren't even similar - the poodle was GiGi, I'm Andrea! :rolleyes:

[Lucy Van Pelt]

My grandmother used to accidentally call my brother by their dog's name, Stubby! It was pretty funny!

[lawyerlee]

Well, I had lunch with them today and it was kind of akward, but they didn't seem mad. I think I'm off the hook this time. I'm so terrified that I will do it again, just because I've been thinking about it so much! I've been repeating their names together in my head over and over, to practice. :D
That's great. :) No big deal. ;)

My mom always mixes up our names with the dog's name. :rolleyes: Niiiice. :D

[kari]

I do this allllll of the time, in fact my parents do it too! My brother had to marry his 2nd wife who looks just like his first! Luckily now-wife laughs it off. Don't worry about, we all do it!