WOHM Support And Help

[scout]

New members are ALWAYS welcome to this thread! Due to the number of members, I am unable to update or add stats because this first post is over its character limit! Please join, read along and respond at your leisure! We're glad you're here!

Name: Tracie (Scout)
Career: Teacher
Child: Maxwell, born 2/24/05
Daycare: In-home daycare

Name - wildcat
Career - Senior Internal Auditor
Child - due 9/22/05
Hours WOH - ~7am-4pm
Daycare - In-home care

Name: ladybug0525
Career: Sales Analyst
Child: Jack, born 05/16/05
Hours: 7:30 - 4:30

Name: Andrea (Mommy2Maren)
Career: PICU RN
Child: Maren, born 1/18/05
Hours I'll be WOH: Varies! Night shift (7pm-7:30am)

Name: Amy (cgmom313)
Career: Project Manager
Child: Catherine, born 3/13/05
Hours I'll be WOH: Typical is M-F 8:30-5p

Name: Katrina (Dally)
Career: Technical Editor
Child: Annalie, born 5/12/05
Hours I work: I have a flexible start/end time
Daycare: Three days with grandma & grandpa; two days in a day care facility

Name: Kelly (Kaeden’s Mommy)
Career: Workforce Management Coordinator
Child: Kaeden - turned 1 on August 15
Hours I work: 8a-4:30p
Daycare: None

Name: Shannon (Shannon)
Career: University housing administrator
Child: A boy
Hours I'll be WOH: 8:30-4:30

Name: Heather (jrdhbunny)
Career: corporate event planner
Child: James, born 4/26/05
Hours I'll be WOH: 7:40 a.m.-6:30 p.m.
Daycare: SAHD

Name - twinnyme (Melissa)
Career - higher education administrator & freelance editor
Child - Rebecca (Becca), born 1-14-05
Hours WOH - 18 hours, Hours WAH - approx. 12-15
Daycare - Center 3 days a week: Tuesday through Thursday

Name - Lisa (Brady)
"Career" - Marketing
Child - Connor, born 3/5/05
Hours WOH - I work 8:30-4
Daycare - In-home care
Name: leeann (lee60657)
career: attorney
Child: DD born 2/20/05
Hours WOH: M, T, TH: 8:30-5:30
Daycare: Nanny

Name: Ashley (ajlanden)
career: Marketing Director (Non Profit)
Child: DD born 12/15/04
Hours WOH: M-Th 7:00-5:00
Daycare: Center

Name: Tracy (tray622)
Career: Middle School Language Arts teacher
Child: Zoey, 10.6.04
Hours I work: 730-300
Daycare: In-home daycare

Name: Susan (Orange)
Career: R&D Chemist
Child: Sarah, born 7/8/03
Hours: approx 7:30 to 4:15
Daycare: Center

Name - Alison (alisong)
Career - Epidemiologist/doctoral student
Child - Felix, born 1/21/05
Hours WOH - I work three days a week, 9-5
Daycare - Nanny share

Name: Charlene (shar473)
Career: NICU Respiratory Therapist
Children: Shelby, 11 yrs/ Sydney 2 mos.
Hours Work: 7p to 7a
Daycare: None

Me: Cyndi (mama915)
Career: Executive Assistant
DC: Chase 3 years, Sierra 11 weeks
Hours: 8:30am-4:30pm with a 1+ hour commute each way
Daycare: Center

Name: meribeth (tin roof rusted)
Career: webmaster
Child: liam, 5/10/03; #2 due 4/28/06
Hours I work: 9-5
Daycare: small day school

Name: Michelle (myshel)
Career: High School English teacher
Children: Luka, 6 weeks
Hours Work: 7am-3 or 4 pm
Daycare: Grandpa Nanny

Name - Rosa (happy1nuv)
Career - IP Security Engineer
Child - Nic, born 5/18/05
Hours WOH - will be M-F, 8:30-5
Daycare - close to work

Name: Natalie (modern gal)
Career: occupational therapist
Child: conor, 5/16/05
Hours I work: 8- 4:30
Daycare: daycare center

Name: A (marchfamily)
Career: Corporate Manufacturing Planner
Children: E (DD), 7.5 months (1/9/05)
Hours Work: 7am-4pm
Daycare: SAHD, MIL one day a week

Name: Lolavix (Kris)
Career: Associate Professor of Science
Child: Caroline (12/1/03)
Hours I work: Vary.

Name: Iris (IrisHope)
Career: Compliance Officer
Children: Julia 20 months (1/30/04)
Hours Work: 8:30-4:30 (10 minute commute)
Daycare center is at work

Name: Lisa (LTJC)
Career: Assistant Director in Career Development Center at local university
Children: Matthew, almost 17 months
Hours: 8:30-4:30 (5 minute commute)
Daycare: Center, 5 days/week

Name: Sasha
Career: Assoc. Director of a non-profit org.
Child: Sarah, born 5/16/05
Work Hours: Typically 9-5
Daycare: Daycare

Me: Ohana
Career: Financial Analyst
DD: 21, almost 22 months
Work Hours: 6:30-3:00
Daycare: Center subsidized by the company

Name: Cynder
career: Web Designer for University
Child: DS born 05/19/05
Hours WOH: M-F 8:00ish - 5:00ish
Daycare: Center

Me; Franni
Job: Business Analyst
DD: 10 1/2 months

Name: Erin (erin16nj)
Career: Corporate Account Manager (Telecomm)
Child: Cole, born 12/12/04
Hours I work: 8:00-5:00
Daycare: Center

Name: Sheryl (Rileymom)
Career: Staff Development Coordinator/Trainer for Non-Profit
Child: DD 7/14/03
Hours: Mon-Thurs 8:30-5:00
Daycare: Center (not a chain)

Name: Renrel
hours 9-5:15
Lunch is spent at preschool
Center daycare, less than 5 minute walk from work.
20-35 minute commute, depending on traffic

Name: Stephanie (SiValleySteph)
Career: Electrical Engineer
Child: Lucas (DS) - 09/27/04
Hours: M-F 8-5
Daycare: Center

Name: Tracie
Career: Financial Analyst
Child: Katie - 7/21/05
Hours I work: 8:30-5:30
Daycare: Kindercare

Name: Sara,
Child: Macy 3/2/05
Career: I work in health care, variable shifts, 8:30-4:30, some 10-6, and some 1-9pm.

Name: CurlyWig
Career: I'll be working from about 9am to 2-3pm or so

Name: Colleen (onlycolls)
Career: Director of Volunteers at a Hospital
Child: Meghan DD (4-22-04
Hours: M-F 8-4:30
Daycare: 2 days a week a neighbor comes to our house and 3 days a week at a small family day care

Name: Kate (Kates)
Career: Documentation Specialist for Software Company
Child: Grady, born September 21, 2004
Hours: 8:00-4:30
Daycare: In-home daycare

Name: Alex (alex67)
Career: Web Designer
Child(ren): Trenton, born 08/29/05 (and DD who is 12)
Hours I'll be WOH: 8:00 - 4:30
Daycare: Mom/DH

Name: Sophia (sophiapb)
Career: Chief Administrative Officer of a Wall Street Broker/Dealer
Child: Alexandra (Alexa)-5/26/2005
Hours I work: 8:30-5 with 1.25 hour commute each way
Daycare: Mom

Me: Angie
Career: Attorney
Child: DD, 5/03
Hours: 7:00 am - 3:30 pm, Thursdays off, 30 minute commute one way
Daycare: Center

Me: Alicia
Career: Fundraising and Marketing
DD: Abbey 5-29-05
Hours: 7:30-6:00 (including 30 min. commute)
Daycare- Center on site

Name: Jacqueline
Career: Operations for Retail Store
Child: Christian, born 8/26/5
Hours I work: 8:00-5:00

Name: Erika
Career: Management/IT Consulting - Project Manager
Child: Andrew, born 7/27/05
Hours I work: 8:00-5:00 (in a perfect world - in reality often 7-6)
Daycare: looking at multiple centers

Name: Heather (BridalLace)
Career: HS Foreign Language teacher
Child: Elodie, born 5/7/05
Hours I work: 7:30-3:00

Name: Deirdre (docoNY)
Career: software support/trainer
Child: Orla, born 7/9/05
Hours I work: 9a-5p
Daycare: group family care

Name: Allyson (allyray231)
Career: marketing anaylst
Child: Aiden, 6/10/05
Hours I work: 8:30-4:30
Daycare: nanny

Name: Michelle (shellbell516)
Career: chemist
Child: Rachel, 8/18/05
Hours I work: 8:30-4:30
Daycare: local daycare close to home

Name: Lisa
Career: Pharmaceutical Research
Child: Courtney, born 8/25/05
Work Hours: typically 6-3
Daycare: Daycare

Name: cocopop
Career: Analyst
Child: Alexandra born 3/6/05
Hours I work: 7am - 2pm, Mon - Thurs

Name: Christine
Career: Controller for a flooring company
Child: Jillian, 8/17/05
Hours I work: 8 to 4
Hours in dc: 7:30 to 4:30 (in home care)

Name: ilona
Career: software developer
Child: Hazel born 5/26/05
Hours I work: 8am - 4pm, Mon - Fri
Hours at day care: 7:20-4:30 (in-home provider)

Name: Heather (hmbay)
Career: Web Application Programmer
Child: Colin born 11/7/2003 and Alex born 9/10/2005
Daycare: SAHD

Name: Jill (JillyB)
Career: Accountant
Child: Landen, born 8/3/05
Hours WOH: 7:30 - 4:30
Daycare: Daycare center

Name - Kat (Cat Bride)
Career - Tax Accountant
Child - Tahlia, 5/9/04
Hours WOH - M,W,T 8-5pm
Daycare - In-home care

Name - Noel
Career - Business Research
Child - Madelyn, August 18 2005
Hours WOH - Tues - Thurs 7:00 - 3:00 (6 - 5:30 including commute time)
Daycare - Mother in Law's

Name: Christine (Dragonfly_71)
Career: Insurance Policy Service and Underwriting
Child: Alexander, born 10-8-05
Daycare: Daycare center at my work

Name: Nettreefrog (Jules)
Career: Senior Technical Analyst (basically an intermediary between developers and finance)
Child: "Cheese" - age 11; future child - EDD May 10th, 2006
Hours I work: 9a-5:30p
Daycare: "Cheese"

Name: Lauren (lauren f s)
Career: Customer Service/Marketing Assistant
Child: Ava, born 12.16.06
Daycare: at home with DH

DD: Addison born 9-8-05
Occupation: Commercial Property Manager
Work Scheudle: M-F 8:00 - 5:00
Daycare: NAEYC private school

Name: MrsChappy
DS: Ben born 6-8-05
Occupation: Pediatric Audiologist
Hours at work: Wed, Thurs, Fri 8:30-4:30
Daycare: nanny

DS: Patrick born 8-29-05
Occupation: Attorney
Work Schedule: M-F 8:00 - 5:00
Daycare: Kindercare

Name: Amber
Career: 6-8 grade teacher (Tech. Ed)
DC: Mackenzie 10/12/05
WOH: 7-3
Daycare: mom

Name: Marie
Career: Counselor
Child: Lexington "Lex" born 7/09/05
Hours I'll be WOH: 7:30 -3:00
Daycare: Daycare center

Name: Kim (cr8zyforaf)
Career: Project Manager/Systems Analyst
Child: Ashley Marie (9/6/05)
Hours I'll be WOH: 7:30 -3:30
Daycare: Daycare center

Name - Kiki
Career - HR
Child - DD-8/05
Hours WOH - 8-4
Daycare -my mom

Name - Katie (ktdelsur)
Career - healthcare marketing
Child - Andrew, 12/5/05
Hours WOH - 8am-4:30pm

Name: Jess (jess&dan)
Career: Executive Assistant
Child: Nathan, born 1/31/05
Hours: 7:30/8:00 - 4:00
Daycare: Center in my office

Name: bluebunny
Career: attorney
Children: son 16 months
Hours: 8:30-4:00ish Wednesdays and Thursdays, 8:30-12:30 Fridays
Daycare: Center

[majorgal]

Subscribing in the new thread...

[Renrel]

Just looked at my info and wanted to update.
hours 9-5:15
Lunch is spent at preschool
Center daycare, less than 5 minute walk from work.
20-35 minute commute, depending on traffic

[dionysia]

Joining!

Name: Di
Career: HR Generalist
Child: Leo, born 9/26/06
Hours: 9/80 schedule (every other Friday off)
Daycare: Kindercare (center)

I am going back to work full-time on January 2. Until then, I am working from home via VPN for a few hours every week to run payroll for my company.

Di

[NYN]

i would like to join too. here are my stats:

Name: Teba (NYN)
Career: university administration
Children: Catie, born 7.22.05
Hours: 8:30-4:30 M-F
Daycare: Center near my home

[twinnyme]

Thanks for starting the new thread, Scout. Can I update, too? (changes in red)

Name - twinnyme (Melissa)
Career - higher education administrator & freelance editor
Child - Rebecca (Becca), born 1-14-05
Hours WOH - 18 hours, Hours WAH - approx. 12-15
Daycare - Center 3 days a week: Tuesday through Thursday

THANKS!!

[EJH]

Didn't see myself listed...

Name: Erin
Career: Fundraiser
Child: Arden, 8/22/2005
Daycare: Center
Hours: Tu.-Fr. 8-6.

[dandygirl]

Thanks for the new thread. Joining again:

Name: Amanda (dandygirl)
Career: HR Director
Child: Madeleine, 8/1/2006
Daycare: Center
Hours: M-Th 9-5:30, WAH Fri

[scout]

Didn't see myself listed...
I apologize for that. The first post is at it's limit (and had been for some time in the original thread), so I haven't been able to add anybody new for some time. :(

[IzzyJune2006]

Me too...

Name: Izzy
Career: Scientist
Child: Annabelle, 6/5/2006
Daycare: in-house family daycare
Hours: M-Fr 8-4:30 (flexible), some travel

[tray622]

I have forgotten about this thread :)

We had a horrendous experience with our in-home childcare provider. To be honest, the situation was very relaxed and maybe that was half the problem. The lady was the mother of one of our students. She is a nanny for another teacher and would watch Zoey and my friends DD too. On days we needed to be at school early, we would drop them off with her and she would take them around the corner to the teachers house she nannied for. You may be guessing my issue already. We bought her carseats and for about week we began seeing only one seat in the car. I take Zoey very sporadically since DH works from home a lot so I bought her excuse that she just puts it in when Zoey is there since she isnt there full time. One day my friend just felt wrong. I watched her class and she waited at the house where the lady nannies and watched her pull up WITH ZOEY NOT IN A CAR SEAT!!!!! WTF!!!! She decided to leave her DD there so Zoey wasnt alone, came and got me, and we yanked the girls right out. Our girls have been together at a couple different sitters for the last 1.5 years and it is sad to see them separate. It was a blessing in disguise though since we found a wonderful preschool for Zoey and she is absolutely thriving and her personality has changed from night to day. We are very blessed that nothing happened to her and we found such a great place for her :)

[allyray231]

coming in to sign on.

[{b}]

I'll be joining the working world again come Friday. Sigh... maternity leave went by too fast!

Name: {b}
Career: Newspaper designer/copy editor
Child: Lauren, 9.13.06
Daycare: I work nights, DH works days, there will be some time baby is at Grandma's (my MIL)

[blondegirl]

I joined towards the end of the last thread, so I'll post my stats again!

Name: Micheleen
Career: Administrative Assistant
Children - Rosalyn 6/3/99, Skylar 2/21/05 , Jace 1/26/06
Hours I work: MWF, 9-5
Daycare: Center. (My mom is moving to the area in Feb, so hopefully, she will watch the kiddies!)

I've been back to work for a month now, after being a SAHM for 1.5 years. DH is a chef, so he has insane hours, doesn' usually get home until 10pm or later. Pickups are the most difficult for me. From my job, daycare is 10 minutes in one direction, home is 10 minutes the other way (if that makes sense???) I have to pick oldest DD up first, since her afterschool program is only until 5:30, and she goes to school right near home. Then I have to drive all the way back past my job to the daycare center. We don't usually get home until 6. But we seem to be in a pretty good routine!

DS and youngest DD are doing VERY WELL in daycare. I couldn't be any happier with the way they adjusted to it.

[trishcutie]

Can I join, too?

Name: Trish
Career: Software sales
Kids: Juliana, 3.5 and Gabriel, 2
Hours: M-F, 9-5
Daycare: Nanny

[scout]

Welcome, everyone! :) It's great to have all of you here.

Tracy what a scary situation. :( I'm glad you found a good place now, though!

[majorgal]

I didn't see my stats either....scout, you do a great job maintaining this thread....I don't think it is humanly possible to capture everyone. Thank you for trying to wrangle us together!

Name: Kim
Career: Fundraiser
Child: Aidan 4/29/05
Daycare: Center at my workplace
Hours: M-4 7:45 - 4:45

[Winter Biscuit]

Please add me to the list :)

Name: Winter Biscuit
Career: Training manager
Kids: DD 12/17/03; #2 due in mid/late January 2007
Hours: M-F, 7am to 3pm
Daycare: Center

When DD was first born, I WAH one day a week (Wednesdays) until she turned 2. By that age, I realized that it was nearly impossible to get any work done AND supervise her closely (I have toothpaste stains on my carpet to prove this ;)) so I stopped WAH and started going to the office 5 days a week.

Once #2 arrives, I intend to WAH one day a week again for at least the first 12-18 months. It was SO nice to have a break from pumping EBM when I WAH on Wednesdays and could nurse my DD instead of pumping. And being home on Wednesdays really helped break the week up for me. I'm really hoping everything works out just as nicely with #2.

[pgbg]

I lurked for almost a year on the other thread, so decided to finally officially join!!

Career: Surgeon
Child: Jacob 9/2/05
Daycare: center affiliated with hospital where DH and I work, anywhere from 6:45-6:15 (although most days 8-5)

We love our daycare and DS has thrived there, but it's amazing we've gotten by without a nanny for this long. I always worry about horror stories like the one tray622 mentioned with the carseat...

This thread made life much easier for me when I went back to work!! Thanks everyone :)

[mkvh]

I'd like to join, too!

Name: mkvh
Career: IT Trainer
Child: Clara 7/12/06
Schedule: Monday & Thursday 7:30-5:30; Friday 7:30-12:30
Childcare: The In-Laws

I'm really blessed to have family watching my DD. But it has its own challenges. It's not so easy to provide constructive criticism when it's A) FREE and B) your MIL who raised 4 perfectly fine boys of her own!

[dandygirl]

Tracy what a scary story! So glad you found a more suitable place for your DD. I can't imagine!

QOTD must apologize in advance if this was covered on the old thread, but I'm wondering how everyone is managing the division of responsibilities at home with their DPs. My DH is super sweet and helpful, yet this weekend (my first weekend after returning to work) I felt kind of annoyed at him at various points when I was scrambling together laundry, etc. I prep bottles, the daycare bag, etc. each weeknight, take on most of the household stuff, bathe DD (which I love and don't want to pass off!), etc. He'll help when asked, but I'm thinking it would be better for us to just divide up some of this more clearly. Just seeking enlightenment...we're new at this, so I'm sure we have lots of room for improvement! :rolleyes:

[IzzyJune2006]

dandygirl... Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I think it's a proven fact that men just don't have the multitasking skills that women have. They just don't think of that many things at once.

I have had many days of frustration. Everytime I get there I think of ways that I can involve DH and make productive changes. They don't always work, but we make progress.

We have divided some of the tasks... the main one being who cares for DD in the evening. We both work full time and I was feeling that I was the one responsible for her care ALL the time (though he would watch her from time to time). We divided up the evenings of the week. So on Wednesday and Friday, DD is under his care. On Monday we share half because we take turns going to the gym.
On Sunday nights he's responsible for making sure my car is ready to go on Monday morning (tank full of gas, tire and oil checked).

Those are our main ones. This week I am attempting another one. I have exclusively been responsible for DD drop off and pick up at daycare (it's just what makes sense for our schedule and commute). On Wednesdays, he will be in charge of taking DD to daycare which will give me the opportunity to work late. We will see how this goes. I'll work from home in the morning to avoid non-carpooling rush-hour traffic.

I still feel responsibility for a lot of little tasks and it's my fault for not off-loading them (or maybe I'm just a control freak!). So I do most, i.e. all of the laundry, feeding-related tasks (cleaning, pumping, bottle management, etc).

HTH!

[blondegirl]

dandygirl- also posting to say you are not alone!

DH and I have been going through this forever, especially before I went back to work. DH is a great person, helpful, and a wonderful daddy. But he is a chef, so he works crazy hours and feels that his days off are just that, his days off. I care for the kids 95% of the time (feeding, baths, bedtime, etc.), and do a majority of the house work, laundry, etc. He will help if I ask, but I didn't feel that I should have to ask.

It took my getting totally strung out and frusterated (after many fights!!) for him to start chipping in more regularly. Now, on his day off, he helps to clean up, and does more with the kids when we get home. He also takes oldest DD to school on days I work, and I am working on him to do some pickups/dropoffs at daycare, too. But I won't push my luck just yet!!

You definately need to get it out there, and it will really help with getting into a routine and such if you talk about what you can do and what he can do.

[SiValleySteph]

We have had a pretty good division. I pick DS up from daycare. We hang out or run errands and then I get him dinner and ready for bed. DH come home sometime around dinner or bed, and then I put him to bed. DH makes dinner. We eat. DH cleans up while I moan about how tired I am. I used to make DS's lunch during this time. He started a new daycare last week and we are no longer making his lunch... hmm... guess this means I should help out more with the clean up. I have DS in the morning until DH is up & ready and then I leave for work and they have breakfast and play before DH drops him off.

It works pretty well and has evlolved over time.

[Franni]

OUr method sort of evolved from a tit-for-tat division of chores.

If I give DD a bath, DH would dry her, lotion her up and brush her teeth. Since I get home earlier, I would play with DD for a few hours. DH does the bedtime routine with her. While DH was doing the bedtime routine, I would be making our dinner.

[jh124]

dandygirl- I am also frustrated! I have discovered that DH will do a lot, but he needs to know specifically what/when to do something. Drives me crazy. In eight months of daycare, DH has never once packed the daycare bag or made bottles for the next day.:mad:

But, he picks DS up from school, feeds him, and makes dinner while I bathe DS and get him ready for bed. Then he cleans the kitchen at night after dinner. So he does have some redemption, but when I'm constantly working from the moment I walk in the door until I go to bed, and he's sitting on his ass watching tv, I get bitter and resentful.

[nettie]

Dividing duties for us happened naturally, but was greatly helped by the fact that DH stayed home with DS for two months while I worked. So DH definitely knows all the stuff that needs to be done. I think that for both of us, we feel guilty relaxing while the other is running around. So while I'm nursing, DH makes dinner. I'll be putting DS to bed, DH will be doing dishes.

For chores that alternate we divide pretty evenly, I do drop off, DH does pick up. I do night wakings after 3, DH does them before hand.

Our only source of disagreement is that DH will be doing things I think are totally unnecessary, like updating Quicken nightly, ugh, when there are still more pressing things to do. But overall, things are working well!

[dandygirl]

Thank you everyone for your replies! I'm sure this will evolve for us too - I did just RTW last week after all! And like I said, I'm also feeling guilty for being the slightest bit resentful. I drop DD off at daycare and DH picks her up, but beyond that it just seems I'm handling the bulk of her care plus the household stuff. The "what's for dinner?" question is what really sends me reeling! I did ask him to look through some cookbooks this past weekend and choose some things that sounded good to him so some of the planning is on his plate, and he not only picked a few things but also cooked dinner last night!

I suppose the biggest part of this is that we're women and multitasking is second nature to us -- the fact they somehow don't notice us racing around with our arms/minds overflowing still gets me, but I know the only way to really get through is to talk openly about it.

Many thanks for making a gal not feel so alone!

[ajlanden]

I think the division of duties is one of the hardest things on a marriage. Just when we thought we had it figured out, we had another kid. Now we are back at square one. My #1 piece of advice is to COMMUNICATE. I think all too often we women hold in our frustrations because we don't want to ruffle feathers. NOt to mentioned the fact that we are expected to do it all (don't get me started!) If you need help, tell DH! I know that mine can be a little clueless about what I need him to do, but is more than happy to help if I can tell him how.

That being said, we are working out how to handle 2 kids under 2 while we are both working FT. It is a work in progress. I usually take care of the baths and bedtime while DH cooks/cleans up. I get up early on the weekends with the kids and he takes care of the baby while DD naps to allow me a good nap. Luckily we have cleaning lady biweekly, so we both do daily upkeep only. I do the laundry and he does all the outside chores.

It isn't easy...

Thanks for the new thread! I will try to stop by more often.

My mom has been watching DS since I have been back at work. Friday he starts at the daycare where his sister is. I didn't know I would be so scared. I thought I was a pro... :(

[jesseybell]

Today was my first day back to work and we started talking about this topic over the weekend. It will take some time to figure it all out.

Right now DH will do drop off and I will do pick up. I've told DH that I will have the bottles ready for him and her clothes picked out in the morning. I will try to get her dressed if I have time. I would love to feed her in the morning, but since I am exclusively pumping I just don't have the time without having to get up before 6. I did tell him that I could imagine that 1 day a week I'd like to be able to switch drop off/pick up duties so I could work late or do errands after work, but his schedule is more strict than mine so I don't know if his boss would let him leave early.

Currently DH and I do not eat dinner together but I want to start cooking for the both of us, especially when DD starts eating solids I want to institute the "family dinner". I planned on doing it while I was on maternity leave, but it was hard without a schedule. Now I'll get home around 5:30 and he at 7 (hopefully earlier). I want to try to have dinner ready and then we'll work together on the bedtime routine (right now she's going to bed with us at midnight!). We both want to get back to working out so I can see us alternating evenings when we are responsible for her.

He's been doing the last feeding and putting her to bed but I want to start taking it over. Honestly, if it had been up to me she would have already been on a better schedule than she is, but since evening has been "my time" I've let it slide and let him put her to bed his way even though I don't agree with his method (or lack thereof). Also, we need to be consistent - I kept trying to tell him that she really should be fed in a quiet, dark room in order to get her tired, if there was a game (and kind) on tv he'd feed her in the bright, loud living room and then put her in her bouncy chair wide awake.

The one thing I've told him I need him to start doing, or at least helping with, is cleaning the bottles and my pump stuff. As long as I am still pumping, now that I am back at work, I need more help. I've made it very clear that he needs to do additional chores so I can have time to spend with DD while she is awake during a time when he's usually done a majority of the childcare while I've puttered around, but also done chores.

But I've also resigned myself to the fact that it's never going to be 50-50 as much as I would like it to be.

[IzzyJune2006]

So he does have some redemption, but when I'm constantly working from the moment I walk in the door until I go to bed, and he's sitting on his ass watching tv, I get bitter and resentful.

I could have written that one word for word!!! The weeknight schedule has helped that one a lot!

[{b}]

mkvh - I'll be in a similar situation vbery, very soon! I return to work Friday, and the ILs will be watching the baby for a few hours two days a week. i'm nervous. Especially since FIL is hell-bent on ruining nursing for us. At 23 hours after birth, he was telling me "it's time to start formula." He tried to give our niece Italian sausage at 3 months - literally was shoving a forkful into her mouth. :(

Any advice before I head to work in a few days? I'm nursing, and pumping is going well, but of course I'm worried about that. I also work nights, and weekends, so I'm sure my schedule is going to cause havock for a while as we all adjust to returning to that.

[dandygirl]

{b} Regarding your upcoming RTW, just take it easy on yourself is the best thing I can suggest. So sorry about your challenges with the ILs -- I'm not sure how I would've reacted to the formula pushing, but it wouldn't have been pretty!

I am still nursing and now pumping at work -- that's going well. Basically I nurse DD when she wakes - 6:30ish, drop her at daycare around 8/8:30 and I pump around 10/11 and again mid-afternoon. I've been pumping around 18-20 oz's during the day, plenty for 3-4 4 oz bottles at daycare the next day, plus some for the freezer. DH picks her up at 5:30 and I race home to feed her around 6, depending on when she ate last. She nurses again before bed, and usually once more during the night.

What I've liked about this process is knowing how many oz's she is getting during the day. That's otherwise so ambiguous when you're exclusively nursing.

[shirsty]

Weeknight routines What has really helped us was simplifying our weeknight routines. We eat very simply during the week for dinner so it's really fast (slice some fruit, bread and cheese, salad, etc) so we have more time to play with DS and do his bedtime routine all together. After he goes to bed we try to only do dishes and get ready for the next day, just so we have some downtime (though it ususally only turns out to be 1-2 hours). I was making myself crazy trying to actually COOK things after work, so we gave that up and now only really cook on the weekends (we might do mac and cheese during the week but that's as involved as it gets).

[jesseybell]

I have been completely anal the last couple of days with writing lists and stickies to make sure I don't forget anything - having her 4 bottles for daycare and making sure my pump stuff is in order is #1 priority - once they are ready to go I've relaxed a little. Things like laying out her clothes and my clothes the night before are nice extras.

What everyone has advised me is to not have high expectations for the first week. It really does take a while to get the routine down and even then its ever changing.

[lowcountrywed]

Can I join?

Name: Melissa
Career: PR Coordinator for a non-profit
Children - Joshua (5/14/2006)
Hours I work: M-F, 7:30-4
Daycare: Inhome Daycare (DH also watch DS quite a bit since he's in the restaurant biz, but we pay for full time care)

[cr8zyforaf]

Thanks for starting the new thread.

weeknight routines - I am 100% on my own - my DH runs his own business (which is running him and our marriage into the ground...but that is another thread) and is never home. He does try to help out in the AM...but I am the type of person that would just rather do something myself than have to ask and give specific direction. He does try to be helpful and I get annoyed, which I know I need to work on.

[mkvh]

{b}--One of the biggest things I DIDN'T do was make specific lists/written instructions. I think that would have helped. I kinda let them wing it and then backed myself into a corner having to then correct them. If I had to do it again, I would spell EVERYTHING out.

As for FIL ruining your nursing relationship, ARGH!!! I think my FIL thinks it's weird, but my MIL regrets nursing only one of her 4 children, so she backs me up a bit. I have a good relationship with them, too...so I bring things up in a "did you know..." way, and that seems to work. Like I explained how the carseat works in a crash rather than telling FIL not to leave the handle up. He was pretty fascinated and now is much better at making sure the seat is in the right way.

As for the Italian sausage :eek:!!!!!!

Routine/Division of Duties
After many tearful days, DH has really started trying to pitch in in the mornings, which is OUR rough time. He gets up first and takes care of the dogs and himself. Then, while I'm finishing up getting ready, he gets DD up, changes and dresses her. He's then out the door, and all I have to do is nurse/pump and pack the bag. It still is stressful and overwhelming, and I always feel rushed. But that's what I get for trying to get a little extra sleep.

Evenings are better. I usually do pick up as well, and I've been trying to do either crockpot or leftovers for dinner. I also bought things at the grocery that would be quick to make since I work till 5:30 and don't get home till close to 6:30. DH always has been good about dinner, even BC. So if he gets home early, he will start dinner. He also is 100% responsible for bathtime.

The things that wears on me is the PSYCHOLOGICAL effect of the responsibility. Regardless of how equally the work is divided, the primary responsibility for taking care of her rests on me. DH could go on with minor, if any, changes to his life, and mine is completely different. I don't resent the changes--I'm thoroughly happy being a mom. But it is A LOT.

[cr8zyforaf]

Regardless of how equally the work is divided, the primary responsibility for taking care of her rests on me. DH could go on with minor, if any, changes to his life, and mine is completely different. I don't resent the changes--I'm thoroughly happy being a mom. But it is A LOT.

This is so well stated. I feel the same way. Becoming a mom is so different than becoming a dad.

[{b}]

mkvh - Good iodea, spelling everything out. MIL will be doing 100% of the caretaking while she's there, FIL is just (always) a nuisance. He won't be allowed to drive her anywhere. I won't get in a car with him, I'm not letting baby! The problem with that, however, is that MIL doesn't drive at all. Thankfully, they are within walking distance of a hospital, if an emergency arises. She'll only be there without DH or I for about 4 hours two days a week.

Very true, what you said about becoming a mom vs. becoming a dad. I think DH is a little jealous of our relatrionship, of how much of my attention is diverted away from him toward her. We'll strike a balance soon enough, I'm sure, especially with me going back to work and DH taking over the majority of the time while I'm gone. Yet another huge transition is upon us.

[ajlanden]

{b}-Good luck!! I think writing instructions down would be a great idea, espeically if you think you ILs won't respect your wishes when it comes to feeding.


lowcountrywed-Welcome! I am in non-profit PR too.


I posted this in my LJ a couple weeks ago. I thought it might make me laugh in 10 years! :D
Weekdays
5:00am--alarm goes off. Sometimes I am in bed, most times I am out on the couch with David.
5:05 am--get in the shower
5:45 am--usually if David is not awake he hears me and wakes to eat. I wake up DH.
6:00 am--Dani usually get up and get her a banana and milk. While Dani is eating and watching Dora, I change David and get him dressed for the day.
6:30 am--I get Dani changed, dressed, hair combed and teeth brushed.
7:00 am--DH is done with his shower and ironing (yes, it takes him longer than me). I pack up David and say goodbye to Dani.
7:05 am--I leave to drop of David at my parents house.
7:30 am--Arrive at work
Work...I have been either running errands or working out on my lunch hour.
5:00 pm--Leave work to go to my parents house to get Davey
5:30 pm--Get home and find something for Dani to eat
5:45 pm--Feed Dani and the Dogs
6:00-6:45 pm--Play with Dani and David
6:45 pm--Give Dani a bath, get her PJs on, read books and night-night
7:30--Give David a bath, get him dressed, give him a bottle
8:15--Put David in his PNP and pray he falls asleep
8:30--Eat Dinner with my hubby in front of the TV
9:00--Get the kid's clothes and daycare stuff layed out for the next day
9:15--Get my clothes ready for the next day
9:30--Go to BED!
(Get up and feed David as needed in the night.)

One thing that has been a lifesaver to me is the be able to get some stuff done at lunch. I am constantly going to buy diapers or milk during my lunch hour. I don't know when I would do it, if I could leave at lunch.

Anyone else want to share their detailed schedule?

[dandygirl]

AJlanden I don't know if your schedule is funny -- like you said, maybe in a few years -- but it certainly is remarkable! I think we're all quite successful new mommies to get through very similar looking days alive!

mkvh I agree with cr8zyforaf -- you stated the differences between becoming a new mom vs. a new dad perfectly.

****
Our days have been going well. I've officially been BTW one week now, but I definitely have some days that are harder than others. I was missing DD like crazy yesterday. A coworker just had her DS two weeks ago and she stopped in to have lunch with me. Believe me, I was envious of her and all the weeks of leave that she has ahead! I left work a little early to pick her up assuming (correctly) traffic would be a nightmare on Halloween. I just can't get to her fast enough! Had a great night with her - I bathed her with DH made dinner (yay!), then the three of us hung out while we tried to get her to sleep. We somehow all fell asleep before 9. Now why don't I feel more rested today? ;)

[psusna]

I don’t think that I ever officially joined the old thread...

Name: psusna
Career: For-profit PR, publicly traded company
Children: Jackson – 5/3/05
Hours I work: M-F 7-4
Daycare: Center

This thread has been so helpful. I’m glad to see it continuing and growing with new members!

[Amaye]

Joining in....

Name: Amaye
Career: VP Compliance
Child: Mia, 3.5mths (born 7/22/06)
Work Hours: Normally 9-5.30 (still figurint it out)
Daycare: Nanny

I just started work on Monday and so far things are going well. I thought it would be a lot harder for me to go back to work but I'm actually ok. Which of course makes me feel guilty that l'm missing Mia every single second. I guess part of it is that Mia is more than a handful and coming back to work has become my own time to be me? I don't know.....

I am also trying to figure out a schedule that will work for us. DH is very helpful and does try but I think l do need to ask for help and not expect him to magically read my mind. The nanny comes in so that helps with the getting ready time for me. My big issue is that Mia doesn't have a set schedule so everyday has been a different adventure.

The main problem is that Mia doesn't sleep well. I have a set night time routine for her but it doesn't work. I give her a bath around 7pm, nurse and then she falls asleep. Problem is getting her into the bassinet. I put her down, she wakes up, rock her back to sleep, put her down and she wakes up. We can do this for over 1hr and if I'm lucky, she sleeps. If not, by 9.30/10pm, I bring her back out, have dinner and start all over again. Ugh! And add to that she is going through her 3month growth spurt right now, I pretty much haven't sleep since l started work.

Let's not even get into figuring out what we have for dinner. I think l need to invest in a crockpot. In the past, I would cook when I got home as l like to try different dishes but I guess that's going out the window. It's just a huge adjustment I guess.

[SiValleySteph]

I'll post my schedule.

6:30 DS wakes up and pokes me from his position between DH & I ... or ...
I wake up and can't fall back asleep even though I try really hard ... or...
7:00 Alarm goes off and I rush to turn it off before DS wakes up
I shower like every 2 of 3 days, sometimes DS showers with me or DH
I get DS diapered and dressed and sometimes we do potty sitting
7:30 DS starts asking to go downstairs and get breakfast, so I tell DH he'd better get up
I try and finish getting ready while making sure DS doesn't impale himself with a hanger or something like that
I ask DH why it always takes him so long to get ready in the morning and can he please hurry up
7:45 or 8 The three of us head downstairs
DS gets his breakfast with Daddy - he gets cracker & yogurt while DH gets his breakfast
I kiss him goodbye and he either is totally happy to see me leave or totally sad, no in between, if his totally sad I have to sit in the car for a few minutes feeling horrible before I can leave
8:15 I tell myself I will leave earlier for work tomorrow and stop spending so much money on Starbucks as I pull into the Starbucks for a coffee & pastry
8:30 At work
10:00 Start making lunch plans with friends over IM
11:30 Go to lunch
1:00 Tell myself I will take a shorter lunch tomorrow
4:45 Try to start distancing myself from work problems
5:00 Pack up computer to theoretically work from home
5:05 Get to car in parking lot and realize I left my keys in my docking station
5:10 Leave work, hoping traffic is good so I won't be too late to pick up DS
5:25-5:30 Pick up DS from daycare
5:45 We stop off at some sort of store or activity 3/5 days or so
6:30 I promise myself I will feed him dinner earlier the next day
7:00 He eats some of my healthy-ish dinner before requesting more cracker & yogurt
7:10 DH comes home and I ask him why can't he come home earlier
7:15 play time
7:45 Get DH to brush DS's teeth
8:00 Get DS in his jammies and off to bed
8:20 Eat dinner with DH that he has just cooked or I try and cook something real quick
9:00 Start complaining that I am tired while laying on the couch
10:45 Say that I should really go up to bed soon
11:15 Go up to bed and get ready for bed
11:30 Realize I am too tired to do my pilates
11:45 Asleep
12:00 Oops, woke up DS when we went to bed, get him back to sleep

Etc.

:cool:

It's gotten so much easier just in the last 2 weeks when DS started at a new daycare and I'm not making lunch for him every night. We don't take anything with us to daycare in the morning - just his blanket on Mondays and diapers/wipes when needed. I don't pick out clothes before hand or anything like that. DS picks out his own.

[blondegirl]

I"ll post my schedule for my work days, but I can't promise it will be too accurate!

I try and make bottles/lunches night before, get as much stuff in bag as I can beforehand (unrefrigerated snacks, diapers, etc). I pick out clothes beforehand also.
6:30 (or earlier if DS wakes up) - shower. if DS is up, feed him his bottle.
6:40 - DD2 (and DS) usually wake from the shower. Occasionally they will sleep until 7 if I'm lucky
7:00 - get breakfast for DS and DD2. while they are eating, I do my makeup and blow dry my hair.
7:15 - start getting bag together (lunch and stuff), make my tea, make DD1 lunch.
7:30 - change DD2 diaper, get her dressed, while DS is still in highchair, chomping on some cheerios.
7:40 - change DS and get him dressed.
7:45 - wake up DD1, if she isn't up already. Get her breakfast, do her hair, make sure all her school stuff is set to go.
8:00 - I finally get dressed. DH comes upstairs.
8:10 - bring bags out to car.
8:15 - load up DS and DD2 in car. Head off to daycare. Dh takes oldest DD to school.
8:35 - arrive at daycare.
9:00 - arrive at work. don't get to leave my office on lunch break, so I'm here all day.
5:00 - leave work.
5:10 - arrive at DD1 school, head back to daycare. (On M, DH picks her up, so I head right to daycare.)
5:35 - arrive at daycare (on M, arrive at daycare at 5:15)
pack up things at daycare.
6:00-6:10 - arrive home, depending on traffic (on M, DH has dinner ready when we get home about 5:45. DS and DD2 have a bit of playtime before bathtime on Mondays)
6:15 - start dinner, unless I used the crock pot.
6:30 - dinner for all the kids.
6:50 - bath for DS and DD2. DD1 does homework.
7:15 - DD1 showers, while I get DS and DD diapered and into pj's.
7:30 - DD1 does nightly reading gets ready for bed, DD and DS play.
7:45 - DD1 straightens up her room, watches some tv.
8:00 - DS gets his bottle, read a quick book, and into bed he goes.
8:15 - read book to DD2, put her to bed.
8:30 - start to cleanup, do dishes. get whatever i need for next day ready.
9:15 - tackle the 5 loads of laundry I have waiting for me! fold, put away, start new load. (if there is a show I want to watch, I'll divide my time cleaning/watching)
9:45 - sit down to relax, have something to eat if I haven't already (if DH brings from food from work, I eat when he gets home)
10:15 or sometimes later - DH gets home. complain about how tired I am, say I'm going to bed.
10:30 - always say I'm going to exercise after I'm done cleaning/when the kids are in bed - almost ever get around to it! spend time with DH.
11:30 - finally end up going to bed

Obviously, days when I am off, the schedule is pretty diiferent. Every other Wed, DD1 has girl scouts, so we drop her right off at 6:00, then I get home about 6:30 with DS and DD2, cook dinner/eat. DS and DD2 play for a bit, then pick up DD1 at 7:30, bathing routine/bedtime follows, a little later than other days.

[ajlanden]

I love reading the schedules!!

Amaye-
It's just a huge adjustment I guess.
Amen!!! The guilt is the worst thing about being a WOHM, I think. I hope you get the sleep thing figured out. That must be so hard. Do you have any sleep books? Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child is my favorite thing in the world.

amurphy-Yay for help!!!!! You sound like you have a good DH!

[jesseybell]

After 2 days of daycare pointing out how much DD slept during the day (and I wasn't even working full days) I decided its time for a nightime routine (we've been putting her down with us at 11-12). A phone call from MIL last night threw things off a bit, but we got her in bed by 9:00. We debated between waking her to eat at 11 since she hadn't had her final bottle and we decided to thinking she'd then STTN until 6:00. Nope, was up at 3:30 for the first time in ages. But I will write it off to us changing her schedule and she'll be 3 months next week.

I'll be back to read other people's schedules to get inspirations. It's even a little hard to try to do a schedule this week since I am not working a full week....speaking of which, I should go wake her up to eat so I can try to get her down by 8:30.

[mmisabel]

Hey there!

I think this will be a great thread for support. I've been back at work about 1 month. It's been going as smoothly as possible. I'm lucky to work with really supportive people.

Name: mmisabel, Megan
Career: Nurse at a residential school
Children: Nathan, 4 months
Hours I work: 32/40, M-F 7:30am-4pm
Daycare: Center on Mon, Tues, my mom on Thurs, DH's mom Friday. I'm off every other Weds and the ones I work he's with my mom or DH takes off (confusing, huh??!!)

I agree with people that I'm just exhausted. Then I read blondegirls schedule and I think I needed a nap!!!

SiValleySteph - you cracked me up!!

Schedule -
up at 5:30am - shower
6am - wake up DH
6:30am - take my pills, pack up pump stuff, rush to feed DS. Although now he's refusing boob so DH may start giving him a bottle then while I pump.
6:45am - leave for work, usually late and stressed;)
DH changes and packs up DS and takes him to the appropriate destination
7:30am - first one at work, check email and mess around
12:30pm - lunch, can run errands if not busy.
4pm - rush out of here, feeling guilty if there are any issues with my kiddos, luckily the other girl I work with is awesome and will cover for me! Drive home, so excited to see DS
4:45pm - Pick DS up. Listen to my mother tell me he needs cereal in his bottle and should be napping better, or listen to MIL (in her own way) talk about how she has just the right touch, informing me what HE wants (like I dont' know, errrrrr) and she does it best. Daycare is wonderful, they just give me a nice report and praise him:)
5:00pm - get home, unload EBM and clean up a little. Feed DS or he might take a catnap.
5:45pm - DH gets home. While he hangs with DS I throw together dinner.
6:30pm- Bath DS
7:30-8pm - last feed, down for the night.
8:00pm - laundry, clean or just relax and catch up with TIVO and DH
9:30pm - aim for bed, doesn't usually happen.

One thing that has been a HUGE help is Dream Dinners. www.dreamdinners.com I go 1x a month with girlfriends and we have quick tasty meals for the week. It's a little pricey but worth it. There are similiar types of places all over.

[dandygirl]

Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child is my favorite thing in the world.

I completely agree -- this book has been a lifesaver for us, and the 2 hours of wakefulness rule seems to be clockwork for our DD.

Here's our "schedule" -- and I'm using that term very loosely.

4:45-5:30 - DH gets up to go to the gym
5:45 - alarm goes off; hit snooze quickly to not wake DD and tell myself I'll work out tomorrow.
6:15 - crawl out of bed quietly in hopes of brushing my teeth and getting coffee; if I'm lucky, I throw wet laundry in the dryer from the night before and get a few other minor housekeeping things done.
6:15-6:30 - hear DD making cute wake-up noises on the monitor
6:30 - see DD's beautiful big smile as she stretches and wakes up; change her diaper and sit down to nurse
6:45/7 - play with DD
7:15 - peel myself away, put DD in her bouncer in our bathroom while I take the world's fastest shower.
7:20 - jump out, go through my routine to get myself together for work while constantly entertaining DD by talking, singing and generally making a fool of myself :)
7:50 - get DD dressed for the day, pack up her bottles and diaper bag for daycare.
8:00 - head to the car like a sherpa, diaper bag, pump, work bag and baby in tow.
8:15 - arrive at daycare. Unpack bottles, diaper bag and hang out with DD and the other kiddos.
8:45 - peel myself away and drive to work
9 - arrive at work; try to get actual work done but periodically checking CC for more interesting reading material.
10/11 - pump
12/1 - lunch
2/3 - pump
5:30 - hit the door running to make it home and see DD (DH picks her up at 5:30)
5:30-6+ - sit in awful traffic
6 - dash into the house to see my family; nurse DD and play
7 - try to figure out something appetizing and easy for dinner; convince DH to cook
8:30 - we all end up asleep on the sofas together.
midnight - wake up and tell myself I'll be better about putting sweet DD in her bassinet at 8:30 rather than keeping her all to myself; put her and DH to bed, then head back to the kitchen to prep bottles, wash pump and maybe do a load of laundry while I pump one last time.
2:30-4 a.m. - somewhere in this window DD wakes to nurse and quickly goes back down.
6:00 - start again!

[nettie]

I know that I'm probably the only Mom in the world to say this but I hate HSHHC. Somethings were helpful, like the two hours of wakefulness, but I spent much of my maternity leave wondering why DS didn't follow anything in that book, and how his lack of sleep would hurt him developmentally. If only DS could have read it.

I'm fascinated by the schedules. SiValleySteph too funny.

Mine:

6:30 DH gets up to shower
6:45 DH grabs the baby monitor, I get up to shower
7:00 if not sooner, DS wakes up, I run around trying to finish getting ready, DS gets impatient
7:10 DS nurses, DH gets me breakfast and leaves
7:30 I diaper and change DS, lots of peekaboo on the changing table
7:45 DS plays on our bed while I change.
7:55 Grab full bottles and pumping bottles, load up stroller
8:00 Walk to daycare
8:15 Hang out at daycare for 15 minutes, chatting with caregivers, playing with babies
8:30 Metro to work
9:00-5:30 Work, with an hour lunch
5:30 Metro home
6:00 DS generally naps, DH prepares dinner, I prepare bottles, DS's food for next day
6:30 DS decides to wake up and nurse as soon as my dinner is ready
6:45 I eat cold dinner
7:00 DH and I play with DS, bathtime 2 or 3 times a week
7:45 Nurse DS, read bed time story, DS hopefully asleep
8:15 Sometime laundry, ironing, make babyfood, most likely internet, some TV, knitting, chatting with DH
10:30 BED!

[jesseybell]

This is what we are aiming for for a schedule:

6:00 - I get up, get DD's bottle ready so DH can feed her whenever she wakes up, pump, feed the cats
6:20 - 7:15 - Take a shower, get pumping stuff together, get as much of DD's stuff together, change and dress her if I have time
7:15- I Leave for Work, DH gets up and gets ready,gets DD ready if I haven't
8:00 Arrive at Work (At same time DH will be dropping off)
11:30 - Pump
3:30 - Pump
4:30 - Leave Work
5:15/5:30 - Arrive at Daycare for Pick-up
5:35 - Arrive home
5:30-7:00 - Feed DD, play with her (DH gets home between 6:45 and 7:15)- In the future, make dinner and eat
7:00-8:00 - Bedtime routine (pump during this time too while DH is doing part of the bedtime routine)
8:00 - 10:30 - TV, chores, wash pump stuff and bottles, get bottles ready for daycare, put out DD and my clothes, maybe just maybe get in a workout
10:30 - Last pumping/ Last feeding for DD (though her last feeding has been 11-12 this week, but that is just too late for either of us to get enough hours sleep (ha!))

Of course there is a BIG hole here and that would be the issue of dinner. DH gets home so late. Hopefully he can change his schedule so he's home around 6:30 so we can eat dinner 6:30-7:00 before doing bedtime routine. I don't want to wait until 8:00 to eat, and once she's on solids I'd like to all eat together

This week I've been doing drop off with DH so since I'm there I've been getting DD ready so we've been ready later than when I would normally leave, but earlier than when he'd leave.

When DD wakes up can also throw off our schedule in terms of how much I can help out with her in the morning. I am not going to wake her up- I'd actually like her to sleep until about 6:45/7:00 but she's still in our room so my movements wake her up if she's not already up.

[dandygirl]

I know that I'm probably the only Mom in the world to say this but I hate HSHHC. Somethings were helpful, like the two hours of wakefulness, but I spent much of my maternity leave wondering why DS didn't follow anything in that book, and how his lack of sleep would hurt him developmentally. If only DS could have read it.

Nettie - I'm sure you're not alone. HSHHC was given to me as a gift by my very Type A SIL at one of my baby showers, so I had solid assumptions about it before I even read it! In the early weeks with DD I found it to be too scientific and not really helpful (or maybe my sleep-deprived brain just couldn't handle the material). Only in the last few weeks has it worked for us as a ST tool, and the one piece of it that really works for us is the 2 hour rule. You have to take what works from you with any of these books and not worry yourself with the rest. I think we'd all go crazy comparing our babies to some "textbook" example otherwise! :)

[blondegirl]

mmisabel - ya know, you would think that the schedule on my days off would be a little less chaotic, but it definately isn't.

nettie - I'm sure you aren't alone. I've never even read HSHHC. Just not my thing.

I'm totally starting to feel overwhelmed with everything. I almost had a total meltdown last week (who knows, maybe I did!!). I think that's what it took to get DH to help out more, but I'm still totally stressed.My house is no where near as clean these days as it used to be and that drives me crazy. But I know my kids are thriving in daycare, and my working is something we need to do financially right now. This too shall pass! (I hope!!)

Gotta love daycare :rolleyes: Just came back from DSs 9 month WBV, and he and DD both have ear infections. None of my kids have ever had ear infections. They've only been in daycare for a month now, and they are both sick!! But I guess that's a fact of life!!

[Wrighty26]

I never officially joined the old thread...and totally missed that a new thread started...

So officially:
Name: wrighty26, Michelle
Career: Assistant Project Manager/Instructional Designer
Children: Braeden (7/6/06)
Hours I work: MWR 7:30-12, TF 7-6 (and I make up my hours throughout the day when B is napping/at night)
Daycare: DH - we have opposite schedules (for the most part)

Going back to work has been pretty easy for me - in part because my DH is just AWESOME. Seriously, if he had breasts and could pump we'd be doing stuff almost 50/50.

I am having one of those weeks though where everything feels like it's going to implode. I've been having a lot of "mom guilt" and "assistant project manager guilt" lately - all at the same time. I'm letting my type A personality get the best of me though - and I've now realized that I really need to just chill out on both things!

Here is my schedule - on a day that I come home early. I think these days are harder than when I work 10-hour days (although there is more guilt on those days!):

4:00 - Wake up to feed B (usually this is when he wakes up)
4:30 - Go back to sleep
6 - Turn the alarm off
6:20 - Get out of bed, get ready (begrudingly)
6:45 - Pump before leaving the house
7:30 - Fight traffic (which is stupid because I live 5 miles from my job) and get to work
9:45 - Pump
11:45 - Speed out of work (I usually get caught up in something)
12 - Get home and feed B/Rush DH out the door (he has to be at work @ 1 and it generally takes him about an hour to get there)
1 - Put B down for his first afternoon nap
1-2 - Work
2-4 - Run errands/Play with B/Take a walk/Feed B
4 - Put B down for his 2nd nap
4-5 - Work
5-6 - Play with B
6 - Feed B
6:30/7 - Bath the boy - although lately we've been showering together. It helps me kill two birds with ones stone!
7/7:30 - Feed B and put him to sleep
7-8/9 - Work
8/9 - Make dinner and eat
9-10 - Watch TV
10-10:30 - Pump/Get ready for bed (shower if I haven't already)/Wait for DH to get home
11/11:30 - Read/Go to bed

[majorgal]

Nettie....Ugh. I hated HSHHC, too. Aside from being poorly written I thought it was far too rigid for us and it had me totally freaked out that I was screwing up my child's life if he didn't get the EXACT sleep schedule suggested in the book.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel too guilty to post a schedule. It's hectic, sure, but I am lucky in that my DH truly does 50% of baby care. OK, I may do most of Aidan's laundry, but other than that it is pretty much split. So, I can't complain too much.

All of these schedules are making my head spin....and it is still so similar to my life!

[Renrel]

Schedule - with a 3yr old


Alarm at 6:30, hit it and get up with the next buzz
Take a shower, brush teeth, make up, get dressed.
7:30 wake up DS, nurse, get him dressed, feed him a small breakfast, maybe read him a book
8:00-8:15 leave the house with DS
8:15-8:40 - drive to garage in front of daycare and walk DS to school in the stroller, hoping he does not jump out and want to race.
8:40-9:00 - help DS toilet and read him a book before running to work.
9:00-9:05 - run to work, change shoes, turn on computer, say a little prayer that most of my hearings will not go forward or at least be simple.
9:05- rush to start my 9am hearing.
10:00 run my next hearing
11:00 run my next hearing
12:00 check in on cc and hang for way to long
12:30 go to daycare and sit with my son while he eats and chats, read him a story as he starts his nap.
1:00 run back to work
1:05- start my 1:00 hearing
2:00 - run my next hearing
2:00-5:15 - write my decisions and prep my cases for the next day
5:15 - pick up at daycare and struggle to get DS to leave
5:30ish leave daycare, chat with other moms
5:45-6:10 drive home
6:20-6:50 - DS watchs a video and I cook or start prepping dinner
or
6:20-6:50 play with DS and try to get dinner started
7:30ish - DH gets home - He may make dinner or finish cooking dinner
8:00ish - eat dinner as a family
8:30 - DH gives DS bath or plays some more with DS
8:50 The getting DS dryed off and dressed production (my son's rules for this are quite complex, he must be totally covered head to toe by a towel, DH must carrying him to me and hand him to me. I must hand him back. We both must walk to his room. We have a play fight about not letting him out of the towel, which allows us to really get him dry, he fights getting dressed, requiring one of us to drop him into his pants, ect.
9;00-9:30 - DH and I read stories to DS, help him brush his teath, he either nurses or has a bedtime snack and gets into bed.
9:30 - DS announce he "has to go"
9:30-9:45 DS sits on toilet and reads to himself. May or may not poop.
9:45 - put DS back to bed.
9:30-midnight - clean up dinner dishes, try to talk about important stuff like which house we should buy, make any phone calls, spend way too much time on on-line, do work I did not finish at work, try to create a sibling for DS
midnight - crash and burn

We have a cleaning person come in bi-weekly. Our home is a mess and our bills are frequently late. But DS will only be in to me for a few years and I want to take advantage.

DH is very good about cooking, shopping, laundry and any general cleaning not done by the cleaning people. He is actually better than me.

DH does have to work late or network or house househunt some evenings. Then I am on my own with DS. Sometimes I take him to the libary and we have dinner at the little cafe, which may be no more than yogert.

Weekends we are bad. We all sleep in till 9 or even 10. We have a DS who allows this. The problem is nothing get done on the weekends. It is noon before we are all dressed finished with breakfast, which is really when DS should nap, but since he slept till 10 and just ate breakfast that ain't happening. In the afternoon we may, house hunt, shop, visit friends or family, go to a playground or whatever. We try to make a menu for the week and shop from it, so that week days nights are easier. We do a few loads of laundry. DS often crashs in the car anywhere between 3pm and 5pm. We usually will let him sleep with one of us out in the car with him. I used to be so much better about sleep schedules. :o

[lowcountrywed]

Your schedules are making me exhausted! I think writing mine out may make it seem worse to me, so I'll just live in denial. I will say that I have it pretty good since DH takes care of DS in the mornings. I only have to feed him. DH's schedule changes from week to week, so sometimes he works until 1 or 2 and then is up when DS is up. I have to give DH a lot of credit - his life/schedule has changed dramatically now that we are parents.

I know that I'm probably the only Mom in the world to say this but I hate HSHHC. Somethings were helpful, like the two hours of wakefulness, but I spent much of my maternity leave wondering why DS didn't follow anything in that book, and how his lack of sleep would hurt him developmentally. If only DS could have read it.

I hated that book too. I know a lot of people rave about it. I started reading it around 6 weeks. Until then DS had been a great sleeper and very pleasant baby. Around 5-6 weeks was when his fussing began. According to HSHHC, this is when babies should stop fussing so much and start sleeping longer. Plus, I hate the fact that it contradicts itself every other page- I was wondering if it was just me, that I was so sleep deprived that I just couldn't understand, but then I heard someone else say the same thing. Although, the 2 hours wakefullness thing did really help us, so I guess that was worth the money I spent on the book.

[kindermom]

I am thankful that I have a very helpful DH. Here is my schedule Tues-Thurs

5:15 alarm goes off
5:40 drag myself out of bed & hop in shower
6:00 make coffee for the commute and pack M's lunch
6:10 leave for work
7:15 arrive at work
3:30 leave work
4:50 arrive at ILs to pick up M
5:15 leave ILs
5:35 arrive home, put M in her play room, give her a snack and milk
5:40 start dinner
6:30 eat dinner as a family
7:00 pick up kitchen whil DH plays with M
7:10 go to playroom and hang out as family
7:45 go upstairs to prepare M's things for bed
7:50 DH brings M up and I brush her teeth and put on jammies
8:00 M is in bed
8:00 to 9:00 hang out with DH
9:00 to 10:00 lie in bed and watch TV and fall asleep

[EJH]

Oh fun -- schedules! DD is 14 months old.


5:30 -- DP wakes and gets in the shower. She takes the world's longest showers.
6:00 -- I roll out of bed and figure out everyone clothes for the day, iron them etc.
6:30 -- DD usually is awake in her crib. If not I go and stare at her until she wakes up. (She'll sense I'm there and basically just stand right up, LOL).
6:30-6:45 -- DD and I shower. She wreaks havoc in the bathroom while I blow my hair dry.
6:50 -- Head downstairs and deliver her to DP for nursing.
6:50-7:10 -- Get myself dressed. If I've been good the night before, just throwing the pre-made food into her bag, if not, rushing faster to get food and sippies together. Plus our lunches. Get DP's pumping stuff together and all her bags ready to go.
7:10-7:20 -- Get the kid dressed.
7:20-7:40 -- I have no idea what this time gets filled up with, but for whatever reason I can never get out of the house until 7:45.
7:50-8AM - Travel to daycare. Get DD situated, her stuff put away.
8:15 -- fly out of the door and down to the car and hope there is no traffic (stranger things have happened).
9AM (hopefully :o ) -- Arrive at work
WORK (and CC ;) )
5PM -- Dash out the door and make my way to daycare
5:50 -- Arrive at daycare and retrieve the kid.
6:20 -- Arrive home. Get her set up in her high chair with dinner
6:30 -- 7pm Figure out what we're eating and throw it together whilst cleaning sippies and filling for the next day and getting her food together
7:00 -- DP arrives home, nurses DD, who lately has been falling asleep
7:30 -- DD to bed
8:30 -- try and force my arse to the gym.
10:00pm -- fall asleep on the couch (both of us)
1AM -- wake up and go upstairs. (DP will stay downstairs and pump)

Relaxing, no? :p I'm currently debating trying to fit the gym into the morning. It's so easy to skip it at night, and I used to workout every morning and love it. (Before DD) She rarely wakes before 6:30, so if I'm at the gym from 5-6, and home just after 6, it shouldn't throw anyone off.

Erin :)

[mkvh]

7:20-7:40 -- I have no idea what this time gets filled up with, but for whatever reason I can never get out of the house until 7:45.

Erin--I had to laugh at this because I have the same "black hole" in my morning schedule! Exactly where DOES that 20 minutes go???

[EJH]

Erin--I had to laugh at this because I have the same "black hole" in my morning schedule! Exactly where DOES that 20 minutes go???

LOL! I'm glad I'm not alone! I just can't figure out why I can't get out before 7:45!! But if I don't aim for a 7:45 departure, I'm not out of there until 8 or after and that's really not good!

[cynder]

This is such a blast reading these schedules esp. the toddler ones since DS is now getting older.

The Life of a 17 Month Old Child
5:30, 6:00ish DS starts to wail (when did the delightful cooing stop?)
6:00ish After determining he will not go back down, DH goes and gets sippy of milk. As soon as DH enters nursery, DS stops wailing and immediately plays with stuffed animals in crib while saying "Truck, truck" over and over again.
6:00-6:30 DS drinks sippy in our bed and after he's done, will wrestle off the bed and play with everything on our nightstands while dancing to Wiggles CD. Dog will take refuge in our bed. Between us.
6:30-7:15 Whoever is doing drop off, takes a shower first. The other parent feeds breakfast and dresses DS. During this time, there will be one mini tantrum at some point.
7:15-7:45 Play with the parent who is dressed and showered while the the other parent goes to shower and get ready.
8:00 Daycare drop off - this will involve giving DS a piece of fruit to hold in the car for class donation. By the time, we reach daycare, half the fruit will be eaten.
8:10 9/10 times, kisses and hugs and "Buh BYE!" 1/10 crying at being left behind
8:30 Park on edge of campus to get to office
8:45 Run, walk, jog to office. Will most likely be wearing uncomfortable shoes.
9:00 Fall into office in a sweaty mess
9:00-4:30 Work, lunch, chat, web surf
4:45 Make journey back to car, while hoping that there are no traffic jams
5:15-5:30 Pickup DS and chat with teachers/parents
5:45 Now that it's dark, get home, strap DS into his car, wrangling dog into leash, give DS veggie booty snack and sippy and walk dog 1-2 blocks to do her business because she won't do it in fenced backyard.
6:00 Cobble dinner (microwave veggies! Morningstar patties! Lastnights leftovers!). Dinner must be served right then otherwise all hell breaks loose. Dog must have access to under the booster seat for prime scavager spot. Depending on weekly menu will start adult dinner prep and cooking.
6:15 Feed dog. Play and read with Mommy and Daddy.
6:50 Dance Party with the iPod.
7:00 Clean up time with Mom's cheesy clean up song. I bathe DS while DH gets his sippy and the bed cleaned up.
7:20 DH and I lotion, dress, and comb DS. Everyone falls into bed for book and sippy time.
7:30 DH brushes DS's teeth while I straighten up DS's room. Kisses and then cutest thing in the world happens - DS sticks his butt in the air and curls into a ball. Cover with blanket and pat butt.
7:30 -8:00 DH does his bathroom time/ Fantasy Football planning (don't ask) while I finish cooking
8:00 Dinner, wine,catch up. Once a week, I try to hit the gym - not very successful...
9:30 Depending on night, laundry or downstairs cleaning, otherwise reading or watching TV
11:00 DH does dishes and cleans kitchen (So AWESOME)
11:00 Feed and backyard potty for dog. BED!
Repeat

Looking at this now makes me happy because we've hit a good stride. It took us a LONG time to get here. The best part is that DH's schedule became more normal this summer and I don't feel like I am juggling as much. It's really hit that 50-50 spilt when it comes to parenting. I still do alot of the housework but it seems easier now that I am not stressed. I love that a couple days of the week, I don't have daycare duty and can take some time in the morning and evenings for myself or run errands without child.

[psusna]

DS – 18 months today. It took us a while to get here, but DH has become a great partner.

5:45—Alarm 1, hit snooze. DH goes back to sleep while I turn on/watch the news
6:00—Alarm 2. Wake DH, who goes to get DS (it’s 50/50 if DS is awake or not). I get into the shower
6:10---DS dances around and drinks sippy of milk while reading books and brushing his teeth (after the milk). DH dresses DS and I get dressed
6:20—Bye Bye and kisses for DH who then gets ready for work. DS and I go downstairs to put on coats and get in the car
6:30—Pull out of garage. Get in conga line of traffic to work/school. DS eats O’s and dried fruit in the car.
7:10—Drop DS at school, talk to teacher, etc
7:20—Arrive at work
work – lunch – errands
4:00—Leave to pick up DS
4:15—Arrive at school, pry him from his girlfriends, kisses to teacher, kisses to girls (he’s the only boy in his room right now), stop and say bye bye to the infants and their teacher, get back into conga line of traffic. DS plays with his Leap Fridge DJ to entertain us or points out objects he sees (bus, truck, car goes beep beep,etc.)
5:00—Arrive home and have snack usually consisting of cheese and crackers. DH or I entertain him while the other cooks
5:30—Dinner for all (4 out of 5 nights, I just can’t seem to get an entire week down just yet) or DS solo
6:00—Play with the parent who didn’t cook (the one that doesn’t cook, cleans up), dancing, books, blocks, etc. Some nights we run short errands
6:45—Upstairs. I get DS’ things ready for the bath, lay his clothes out for the next day, straighten his room – DS and DH have a tickle war
7:00—Bath, brush teeth, etc. DH bathes DS while I get online to finish some work items.
7:15---I’m back to do lotion, brush hair, etc.
7:20—Pjs, books (we alternate nights putting him down), bed with puppy and paci
7:30—Clean up from dinner, toss in a load of laundry, go run errands, etc.
9:00—Upstairs and pay bills, tie up any loose ends for work, set out clothes for tomorrow, etc.
10:00--Asleep

We are a pretty well oiled machine at this point. DS’s internal clock runs off of this schedule. If I’m not in his room at 4:!5 to get him, he has his head out the door going Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! Creatures of habit I tell ya.

[Franni]

My 2 year old DD's sked

7:45 AM - Wake up
7:45 - 8:00 - brush teeth and washing face
8:00 - 8:30 - breakfast
8:30 - mommy and daddy leaves for work
5:30 - 6:00 - return home
6:00 - 7:30 - free play....anything goes. We color, read, paint, rough-house, throw a ball, take a walk, dance, sing, etc. During this time, DH & I try to have a rule that we pay attention only to her during this time (ie no talking about our day, no dinner prep, no checking the mail, etc) It's such a short time that we have her attention that I don't want her to have to compete.
7:30 - 7:45 - bath time
7:45 - 8:15 - sleep routine (reading books and singing 17 barney songs). One parent cooking during this time.
8:30 - 9:00 - dinner
9:00 - 12:00 - adult time (watch tv, read, relax and unwind)

[Winter Biscuit]

A Day in the Life of a (Nearly 3-year Old) Toddler's Mommy (AKA Our Schedule)


Sometime between 2:00am and 3:00am -- DD wanders into our room and lightly taps me on the arm. Without opening my eyes, I grumble "Five more minutes!" in a pleading voice (thinking that it was DH tapping me to tell me it is time to wake up). Tapping continues until I finally realize that it is DD. "Mommy, I have to go potty!" I attempt to haul my pregnant body out of bed, sleep-walk to the bathroom and help her go potty, silently telling myself that I can't wait for the day when she can do this herself. Or better yet, I can't wait until she wakes DH up to help her and lets me sleep. I go potty myself, put her back to bed, and spend the next 30-60 minutes trying to get comfortable so I can fall back asleep again (not easy when you have a big ol' pregnant belly).

5:30am -- Takes me a while to realize that someone is tapping on my arm again. It usually takes me a while to realize that THIS time it's DH and it's apparently time to wake up for the day. I usually grumble, groan, beg for "Five more minutes!" or maybe I'll even snap, "I KNOW, it's time to get up, leave me ALONE!" Sometimes I do all of the above. (Bless DH for putting up with me...)

5:45am -- Finally drag myself out of bed and hit the shower. 9/10 times I waste precious time and resources just standing there under the running water, not doing anything useful other than savoring the "me" time and trying to wake myself up. Promise myself that "TOMORROW" I'll actually shave my legs.

6:00am -- I am finally awake and dressed. Spend a few minutes drying my hair, then go to DD's room and attempt to wake her up. She takes after her mommy and will usually toss, turn, snap "I don't want to get up!" and otherwise refuse to get up. I silent vow that "TOMORROW" I will wake up and get ready earlier so that I can get DD out of bed earlier. I attempt to wake DH up, snapping at him that "I don't have time for this, I am going to be late for work AGAIN! I need you to wake up and help me with DD." (DH tries to help out, but DD cries "NO! I want MOMMY! I want MOMMY to help me!") When DD finally gets up, we put her on the potty (which can take up to 10 minutes, especially if she insists "Not THIS bathroom! I want to go potty DOWNSTAIRS!"), then we take her downstairs and get her some breakfast. By this point, DH is nearly done with his breakfast and I silently curse him and wonder why HE has time to eat breakfast every day but I don't.

6:15am and 6:30am -- My black hole. Most days, I have no idea what I do during this period or where the time goes.

6:30am -- attempt to get DD dressed. 7/10 times she obliges. 3/10 times she puts up a fight. "Not THOSE pants! I want to wear my (insert name of outfit that is seasonally inappropriate)." Some days, I ask myself WHY I care if she is dressed in a cute matching outfit for daycare, and I vow that "next time" I am just going to take her to daycare dressed in her pajamas or a mismatched outfit, rather than deal with this, I also try to convince myself that "next time" I won't care what the other parents think of me when they see me dropping my kid off with a dishtowel "cape" tied around her neck a la Superman. I try to remember to grab some food for lunch/snacks so I actually have something to eat. Mustn't forget that I'm pregnant and really ought to be eating for two...

7:00am -- we finally get in the car and head to daycare with a Raffi CD blaring away (unless DD is in one of "those" moods where she ONLY wants to listen to Christmas songs in July, or she ONLY wants to listen to the CD that happens to be in daddy's car...)

7:15am - 7:30am -- drop her off at daycare, get her situated, etc. Then run out the door, hop into the car and peel out.

7:45am to 8:00am - roll into work fashionably late (I'm supposed to be AT work AT 7am) and vow that "TOMORROW" I will wake up earlier and get out the door in time so I can arrive at work AT 7am for once.

8:00am to 3:00pm - work and CC ;) I usually snack at my desk all day (no time to eat breakfast at home) and sometimes I'll actually put some make-up on (no time to do that at home, either).

3:15pm -- pick DD up from school. It's usually another 15-20 minute struggle to convince her that it's time to go home, that it really IS cold outside and that she needs to put her coat on, and NO we can't take that toy home, and no honey, we can't go to the playground today because it's rainy but maybe tomorrow and will you just get in the freaking car already...

3:30/3:45 to 5:00pm - run errands and/or spend time with DD. If she insists on playing independently, I'll usually hop on the computer.

5:00pm - start making dinner. DD usually "helps." Continue spending time with DD.

6:00pm - DH is home, we all eat dinner together.

After dinner until 7:30pm-ish -- do dishes, spend time with DD.

7:30pm -- bath time, potty time, brush teeth, get into pajamas. DH tries to help, but 9/10 times, DD will throw a fit that she wants MOMMY to do it.

7:50pm -- read a few books to DD. Once again DH might try to read the story (he used to read to her every single night) but 9/10 times DD insists that she wants MOMMY to read.

8:00pm -- lights out. DD usually insists that I lie down with her for just a few minutes.

10:00pm -- I wake up with a stiff neck and realize that I had fallen asleep in DD's bed next to her. Tell myself that I guess I'll have to tackle the (insert name of household chore that I intended to tackle after DD fell asleep) "TOMORROW." Give DD a quick kiss on her forehead, climb out of her bed, and go downstairs to find DH so I can complain about how HE really needs to help out more with the bedtime routine and we have to find a way for HIM to take over more duties (even if she only wants MOMMY to do everything) because I really don't have time to deal with this every single night. I love my DD but I need a break. My tirade usually includes something about how I have so much STUFF to do and it's no WONDER I never get anything done and how the hell are we going to make things work once #2 arrives in January and...and...and.... (and did I mention "Bless DH for putting up with me" yet??)

By 11:00pm - I pass out in bed and remain comatose until I feel the tapping on my arm at 2-3am and the vicious cycle repeats itself...

[tray622]

Winter Biscuit - LMAO! I can relate to a lot of it :)

Our 2 yeard olds schedule:

600 - wakeup and get her dressed (then get baby's diaper changed)

620 - in the car with daddy

630 - drop off baby with MIL

between 645 and 700 - drop Zoey off at preschool

They nap from 1230 - 230

between 3 and 4 - pick Zoey up

15 minutes later - pick up baby

500 - dinner

600 - baby in bed

between 630 and 700 - Zoey in bed

:D

[SiValleySteph]

You guys are hysterical! I love that we all have a sense of humor with the chaos of life as a mother. :D

I totally hate HSHHC or whatever it is. I've actually never read it, but it always drives me nuts when it's treated like a Bible that we must follow word for word. I didn't really find I needed any parenting books. They just annoyed me. My compromise was to have Dr. Sears The Baby Book and What to Expect The First Year. That way I had two extremes and could figure anything was probably fine. :)

[SiValleySteph]

I want to wear my (insert name of outfit that is seasonally inappropriate)." Some days, I ask myself WHY I care if she is dressed in a cute matching outfit for daycare, and I vow that "next time" I am just going to take her to daycare dressed in her pajamas or a mismatched outfit, rather than deal with this...

Hahahaha.

DS went to daycare today wearing his "helicopter shirt, helicopter shorts," nevermind that it is chilly and raining today. I thought I could just get away with the shirt with a long sleeve underneath and pants, but he insisted on the pants, too, so we compromised with some knit pants underneath the shorts. DH almost had a coniption. Then he claimed he had to wear his black & green reindeer Christmas socks. We had to draw the line there. Anyways, he looks rather silly today, but he likes it! :D

[ktdelsur]

AH, schedules....DH has grad school, so I am the one that does this alone every morning.

5:45-6 a.m. - wake up. My alarm goes off at 5:45, but my 11-month-old alarm clock may or may not go off before that.

6 a.m. - 6:20 or so - feed DS. When he's done with his food, and is just finishing his bottle, I'll get his daycare bag together and clean up our breakfast mess.

6:30-7 - take shower while DS is in exersaucer, finish shower, put on robe and towel upon head, then go get DS dressed. Put DS BACK in exersaucer while I do my hair and make-up. Usually put bottom half of work clothes on at this point w/ bra. LOL (in case of any random spills, spitups, or sticky hand prints). When he cannot be in the exersaucer anymore, I am not sure what the heck I'm going to do.

7-7:15 - finish getting dressed, putting DS's shoes on/combing his hair, loading the car, finding my shoes, etc.

7:15-7:30 (here is my black hole...I dont know why it is hard for me to leave before 7:30.)

7:30, off to daycare, then straight to work (they are about 5 mins apart)

8-4:30 - work work work

4:40 - pick up DS and head straight home

Depending on whether or not DS has napped that afternoon (lately he's boycotted his afternoon nap), we'll go home and I'll feed him dinner while cooking ours. He may nap for 30-45 mins before he eats though, making dinnertime close to 5:45 or 6.

DH gets home lately around 5:30/5:45, so after dinner is a bit of playtime, then bath/PJs/bed by 7-7:30.

[cynder]

Winter Biscuit

Oh.my.god!! I def. snorted out some water reading that!! Maybe I shouldn't wish so hard that DS gets more verbal skills because I think his bemoaning actually translates to what your DD is saying. Though I have to admit, the kid could care less on what he wears.

And of course everything is, TOMORROW. I had been saying that about weather proofing our deck when I realized that summer time is over.

By the way, congrats on your pregnancy! I hadn't realized until now.

[Chimichanga]

I'd like to join :)

Me: Jen
Career: Marketing
Schedule: confusing :) Normally 7:30-4:30
Child: DD, Reagan 3 months
Daycare: 1 day a week at center, in-home from DH or I rest of the week.

I work FT. On Mondays DD goes to a day care center at a church; we're so lucky to find a PT daycare option. I WFH on Tuesdays and keep her with me. Right now DH works from home W-F and has her with him.

On those days when DH watches her, I have to wait for him to get home from work; usually around 8. I get into work at 8:30 and work until 5.

Our schedule is:
3:30 - nurse DD; usually she'll go back to bed
5 - wake up and shower
5:30 - take the dog downstairs, feed him, let him out and set out DD's clothes
6 - bring DD downstairs and put her in her swing while I pump
6:45 - leave for daycare (if it's monday)
7 - play with DD
7:45 - pack up pump, pack a lunch and maybe eat breakfast
8 - leave for work
8:30-5 - work
5:30 - arrive home and start watching DD
6 or 7 - nurse her and cuddle time. Maybe get some dinner
8 - start the dishwasher/laundry and straighten up the first floor
9 - start the night time routine; bath, bottle and bed
9:30-10 - DD is down for the night
10:15 - sleep

We're waiting to see what our schedule will be. DH recently got downsized so he won't be able to work from home 3 days a week. I *think* SIL will watch DD two days a week, and we'll add 1 more day of daycare to the schedule. But, with a more "standard" schedule, I can take half days on Friday which would be great.

[IUAlum]

Joining in. Since I'm STILL at work, and don't see an end, I need you guys more than ever. I've been reading this thread since I was PG, and it's definitely helping!

Name: IUAlum
Career: Finance- Planning & Analysis
Schedule: Usually 8:30 to 5
Child: DS, Seth, 3/12/06
Daycare: Center 3 days, my mom 2 days

I work full-time. I am lucky to work 5 minutes from home. Unfortunately, daycare is 15-20 minutes away (each way). So my commute has increased quite a bit. Usually one of us will drop off and one will pick up, but often I end up doing both. My DH travels for work, sometimes a little sometimes a lot. Those are rough days.

Our schedule goes something like this (on a daycare day).

5:30ish- Hear DS flopping around in his crib. Look on video monitor, see his eyes are wide open.
5:30ish + 5 more minutes- Get up and go to kitchen, put a bottle in the warmer. Then go to the bathroom. By then the dog has usually heard me so I let him out and feed him and by then the bottle is usually warm.
5:45- armed with warm bottle, head to DS's room. Lately, I'm met with silence. On the mornings where he's actually fallen back asleep, I use that time to get dressed. Otherwise, I go in and feed him and then he goes back to sleep until about 6:45.
6:15- DS wakes up again, this time for good. I go into his room and smell what woke him up! But he won't allow a diaper change until he's been fed.
6:30ish- Finish feeding DS, call out to DH that he really better get out of bed.
6:45- Finish dressing DS and hope DH finishes his shower soon so I can do something frivilous like brush my hair.
7:00- Try to find time to pump while DH complains that he's late (well then don't keep hitting snooze while I'm up and taking care of everything!) but I am almost done with the pumping.
7:15ish- Leave the house.
7:30ish- Arrive at daycare. Jockey for position in the fridge for the tall Dr. Brown's bottles which only fit in the door of the teeny tiny fridge. It's this tiny little mini fridge for a room of 8-12 babies. I don't get it.
8:15ish- Arrive at work.
5:00- Get to leave! Fight traffic to get to daycare
5:20- Get to daycare, hope DS isn't napping. Usually he's awake, though and happy to see me. A good part of the day! :D
5:45- Get home. If DH isn't home, have to contend with a crazy dog. Fun.
Play until 6:15ish
6:15- Into the highchair for dinner and other wacky hijinks
6:45- Bathtime
7:00- Bottle and bed

The time between getting home and sleep are way too short.

After that I eat dinner, and veg in front of the TV. Then I either load or unload the dishwasher- we run it every other day for all the bottles. I prepare the bottles for the next day, then take a shower and go to bed.

DH is generally helpful. For a couple of months he used to stay home with DS one day a week, so he knows what goes into taking care of him. Which helps. It is just frustrating in the morning when he doesn't account for helping me into his time needed to get ready and he sleeps until the last possible minute just like before. I'd love to be able to do that.

We're very lucky because DS basically sleeps through the night. The last couple nights have been interesting because he has started rolling onto his tummy at night and then can't get back. He usually ends up falling back asleep on his tummy but he either plays and giggles or cries for 10ish minutes at a time. Which definitely wakes me up each time and I don't fall asleep as easily as he does.:rolleyes:

Work is generally understanding and flexible. This weekend sucks because we have to work the whole weekend. They are going to give us comp days to make up for it, which is good. It's just hard because I really recharge on the weekends spending time with my little guy.

Tonight DH brought him by the office for 15 minutes. :( I miss him.

OK, back to work. Bleh.

[Baby Lust]

Joining!!

I went back to work FT when DS was 10 weeks old.

Looking forward to following along! :)

[shirsty]

Nap schedule on the weekend? I am curious about how many of you follow a different nap schedule on the weekends. During the week at daycare (FT M-F) my 1-year-old DS will take one 2-3 hour nap in the afternoons. They allow morning naps in his group, but don't encourage them. There is so much activity at daycare it seems to work OK for him. But on the weekend when he's home with us, it's a slower pace, and he is still taking 2 naps, and I worry this isn't good for him. Well also he's been waking at 4:55 like clockwork for the past couple weeks so I'm wondering if this is part of the problem. :rolleyes: Anyone care to share how naps are different on the weekend and if you think it makes a difference? TIA!

[{b}]

We have no schedule. I just started back last night, and DD is only 7 weeks old.

First night of work was... busy. So busy, I only pumped once, and so busy, I didn't have time to realize how upset I was about leaving baby. Cried on the way home and I live less than 10 minutes from work. Damn hormones.

It was really exhausting. I wasn't quite prepared for how hard the first night would be from a physical standpoint.

[dragonfly_71]

Schedule for a 12 month old

5.20: alarm goes off, DH gets up and gets ready for work
5.50 DH leaves for work and I get up and have coffee
6.00-7.30ish: "me time with interruptions" shower, get dressed, have breakfast, read my book or play online, maybe watch the news for a bit with another cup of coffee. Sometime during this time DS will wake up and stand in his crib crying. At that point I take him out, sit in the rocking chair with him and give him a bottle of milk. I do this quietly and without much ado and he usually just drains the bottle while still half asleep and then goes right back to bed. So usually this process only takes about 10 minutes. I also pack my lunch sometime during this time. DS's daycare provides meals and snacks so thankfully I don't have to pack for him.
7.30 wake DS up for the day. Change his diaper and possibly get him dressed. Some days he stays in his PJ's until we get to daycare.
7.45 -approx 8.50: put DS in the car and drive to work (daycare is at my work), DS usually sleeps in the car
8.50: take DS into his classroom and get him dressed (on those days when we didn't do that at home), then either play with him for half an hour or, if he just wants to sit down and eat breakfast right away, I leave and take a walk around the lake or find a quiet spot and read my book some more.
9.30-6.00: work with 40 minute lunch. Until recently I would spend my lunch with DS but now he gets upset when I leave, so I can't do that right now. Hopefully once we get past that stage I can have lunch with him again.
6.00 (if I can leave on time, sometimes more like 6.30): pick up DS and drive home. Once again DS sleeps
Arrive home around 7.30
7.30: dinner (DH gets home around 4.00 and cooks)
8.00-9.00: bath time, play time, possibly a walk around the neighborhood
9.00-9.15 (approximately) nighty time in the rocking chair (cuddling, a bottle of milk, more cuddling) then put DS in his crib, turn off the light and go back to DH in living room. DS falls asleep within a few minutes.
I also fall asleep within a few minutes but on the couch.
sometime around 11.00 wake up, wake DH up, and we go to bed.

[psusna]

Shirsty: Once DS started taking 1 nap at daycare (after he turned 12 months and moved rooms) he still took 2 naps on the weekends for a LONG time -- until he was at least 15 months. It didn't mess with his daycare nap at all. We felt he would still be taking 2 naps/day if daycare was set up that way because he was pretty tired when he would get home. We saw it as a way for him to relax and catch up on some sleep. He phased out the 2nd weekend nap on his own around 15.5 or 16 months -- sometimes it still sneaks back in, but he's basically on his daycare nap schedule on the weekends now.

[shirsty]

psusna thank you that is exactly our situation. I think if I was home with DS he would still take 2 naps a day. We just switched daycares a couple weeks ago so that may be part of it - but he was dropping the 1st nap at the old daycare too and they were still on an 'nap on demand' schedule. I think my DS will be like yours and give it up in a couple months. So I guess I won't worry about it anymore! ;)

[EJH]

Shirsty--We follow DD's lead on naps on the weekends and Mondays when my DP is home with her. Her naps this weekend have been odd -- a 4 hours :eek: nap yesterday from 1-5....and then today she's done a couple of 40 minute naps and that's it. Though she took a very extended nurse nap on DP's lap.

It'll be interesting to see once she's in the toddler room full time, they nap from 12:30 to 3:00 (or 3:30, can't remember). I wonder if she'll get into that pattern at home. Until this point they haven't done scheduled naps.

Erin

[twinnyme]

Nap schedule on the weekend?

My DD goes to daycare three days a week and is in the toddler room (she's 22 months). They nap there from 12:20 to 2:20 but on the days she's home with me (Friday through Monday) she typically naps 1:00 to 4:00 p.m. - for the last month and a half or so. Before that I was lucky if I was able to get her down for the 12:20 to 2:00 time at home.... and her naps varied. But somehow they consolidated into this amazing nap schedule in the last few weeks (which is fabulous because I work during her naps on the days I'm home with her). I doubt it will last - already the naps seem to be going down a bit; today was 2 hrs. 45 minutes; Friday was 2.5 hours. But although the time is different that she goes down for her nap I think it's because she's stimulated *slightly* less at home. We always go out for the morning somewhere, then come home, play for a while, have lunch, then do nap routine (books and milk) then she naps, but still there's less other kids interaction and I think that lessened stimulation allows her to stay up longer - but to also sleep well when she does sleep (because we DO have a lot of stimulation in the morning, just different stimulation).

I'm loving reading everyone's schedules - I just haven't had the time or energy to post mine. A couple of times I've had false starts on writing it, but then gave up and just continued to enjoy everyone else's.... Needless to say, my schedule is very similar!

[scout]

Has any parent ever pulled their child out of a daycare that your child goes to? Last year, I had recommended my in home daycare (Tina and Elsa where my ds Maxwell goes) to a teacher I work with and he's been taking his daughter there all year. I thought he'd been happy about it--raving about all of the wonderful projects they do and all of the play time, etc. that happens. Today, he came into my room and said he wasn't going to be bringing his daughter to Tina's anymore. My heart just sank and I felt terrible. I've always thought that what Tina does is so fabulous. Maxwell loves it, and other than a few nutritional issues, and minor nap issues when he was a baby, I've never had any problems. The other teacher just said that his daughter has been begging him not to send him to Tina's anymore and seems angry. She's also been complaining of stomachaches. His daughter is one of only two girls, so I don't know if that's it? I asked him if there were any red flags or anything that I should know about and he said no, just that his daughter didn't seem happy. He's bringing her to a daycare where another teacher's kids go.

Should this be enough to concern me? I know all of the other parents are beyond thrilled with Tina and I know I've always been very happy. There's another girl around Maxwell's age that goes there who is very happy there (according to her mom anyway). Last year, I was there every day when I was nursing Maxwell and everything was always really great. Whenever I go to pick Maxwell up, the kids are always happy.

I just feel like crying, and I don't really know why. I know that some places just aren't a good fit for certain kids, and it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the actual daycare. But what if that's not it? what if there's more? My mommy gut has always been so happy with the care Maxwell receives.

[ktdelsur]

scout: I think if your Mommy gut hasn't given you a heads up yet, you are probably ok. I'd probably just spend the next week or two being very vigilant about what is going on there, and make your decision from there. I've never changed daycares, so I don't quite know what to tell you in that dept.

How appropriate that you guys are talking naps around here.

On the weekend, DS will take at LEAST two naps (midmorning and midafternoon). Sometimes even THREE, depending on how his mood is...ha.

Lately, I am picking him up at daycare and realizing he's been awake since 10:30 a.m./11:30 a.m. with NO nap in the afternoon whatsoever (I pick him up around 4:45 p.m.). So, he'll nap in the car on the way home, and we'd let him sleep until he woke up himself (usually close to 5:45 or so)...he'd wake up crying, cry through dinner, and fuss until bedtime around 7 p.m. It was hell! What a difference one nap makes, huh?

Daycare said they tried "everything" to get him to sleep - putting him in the crib and letting him be (he just played and talked to himself for awhile), swinging him, putting him in the pack n' play, rocking him, etc. He just "wouldn't" go to sleep.

I guess I can't fault them, really (?) - he's the one who won't sleep. There's just so much going on there with 9 other babies (DS is currently one of the oldest and the only boy until January).

Yesterday, though, he hadn't napped and I had to go to Target. I felt bad waking him up only 10 mins or so after he'd fallen asleep in the carseat, but somehow, he was perfectly pleasant the rest of the evening. Maybe I shouldn't let him sleep as long after daycare - just wake him up when we get home. You know how sometimes you feel groggy and irritable after a too-long nap, right?

[ktdelsur]

One other question - for you Moms with older kids - was your daycare helpful in the transition from formula/BM to whole milk? Any tips?

[pgbg]

scout I don't want to scare you, but you posted here to get opinions and this is just mine. Sounds like your DS is happy there and that's great. But the reaction of the other girl sounds to me like she was being abused. Kids sometimes act out after abuse by being angry, sad, or withdrawn, or get physical manifestations like stomachaches. How old is she? It could have just been one occurrence that made her feel uncomfortable, and she decided she didn't want to go there anymore. If you feel comfortable enough, can you ask the daycare provider why she thinks the girl left? Again, it could mean nothing. Maybe she didn't like not having other girls around (depending on her age). I think if you and DS are happy there, then you just need to decide how much this is going to bother you. I really didn't want to respond, but your description of the girl's reaction kind of made my skin crawl. Sorry and good luck!

[bluebunny]

I don't keep up with this thread but I happened to read it today.

Scout, I would listen to your gut. I have a friend who has a three-year old who has been in daycare since he was an infant. She has changed daycares twice. Both places were highly recommended by many people, including some of her close friends. Her DS seemed unhappy, so she changed. When I was looking into centers, I asked her what to look for. Her advice was that I look at several and go with my gut. She said that she looked at some of the most reputable centers in our area and didn't get a good feeling until she found the one where her son is now. She also has had other friends (including me) look into the daycare where her son now goes and had decided not to enroll their child. I didn't like her daycare for several reasons but her son is happy there and has lots of friends. There is nothing wrong with the daycare, I just don't see it being a good fit for my child. Good luck!

[mmisabel]

Scout - That's a tough one. You shouldn't feel guilty that this daycare didn't work out for your co-worker. I would hope that if it was something more than he would have told you, maybe just ask him one more time if he had an "safety issues" with it. I think everyone's idea of a good daycare is different and individual. It's definitely a touchy matter. I bet if your gut has always told you that your son is safe and happy, then he probably is. Plus, you've spent time their yourself, and that's another positive aspect. I would try to pay extra close attention over the next couple of weeks and maybe even talk openly with the providers about why this other child didn't adapt well. Maybe there were some issues with her? Maybe she went to daycare at an older age then your child and just couldn't adjust? Do some investigating, but don't make yourself sick over it! Good luck and keep us posted.

[shirsty]

Scout I agree w/mmisabel, I think it's a great idea to talk to the providers openly about it. I also agree that the girl's 'symptoms' could suggest abuse - but they could also just be symptoms of a bad fit. I think it definitely warrants some followup but not extreme worry at this point.

I just switched daycares with my son 1 month ago. The primary reason was that the owner allowed the infant room to be over ratio in the AMs until the 2nd staff person came in, and blew me off when I called him on it :( We are MUCH happier in the new place. Funny thing is, before DS started at the old place I called a reference who had 2 kids there and raved about it. She had just switched her kids from the place we just switched our DS TO (make sense?). To us, the new place is FAR superior but obviously to this other family it wasn't (though the reasons she gave me for leaving were $ and having to send lunches, so take it FWIW.) Good luck!!

ktdelsur yes our (new) daycare has been really helpful, both in encouraging sippy use and moving to milk. DS is on all milk in sippies now (with an occasional bottle at night still). They mixed it w/formula for awhile but he just wasn't into it - he didn't like the taste of the mix but has been OK with straight milk. I can tell he's still acquiring the taste for it, but overall they have been very helpful. It has worked better for us to have him try it before his food at meals/snacks, then he's a little more motivated to try it. Also after crackers when he's extra thirsty! ;)

[scout]

Thanks for the input. Sounds like your DS is happy there and that's great. But the reaction of the other girl sounds to me like she was being abused That occurred to me as well. But how? By whom? There are two daycare providers there at all times. When would this be happening? By one of the boys?

Ugh.

This sucks.

[jh124]

Great 20/20 piece on working mothers. Just a heads up in case anyone in the west is interested.

[tray622]

Great 20/20 piece on working mothers. Just a heads up in case anyone in the west is interested.

I enjoyed the piece and wish things were just simpler for working families.

[twinnyme]

Great 20/20 piece on working mothers. Just a heads up in case anyone in the west is interested.

I missed it. Was it the first segment? I tuned in at around 10:20. I was a little upset I missed it. :(

[jesseybell]

It is available at abc.com - under the News section.

ETA:I watched it and I am not sure if it is the whole thing- there are 3 different segements that seem pretty short.

[ginad724]

I watched the 20/20 piece and didn't think it was all that great. It just really touched upon the huge issue that it is. What I did think was most alarming is that the US is one only three nations who don't offer government-sponsored paid maternity leave. The other two countries were Papau New Guineu and another very small nation in Southern Africa whose name escapes me. That's just pathetic.

Another thing that really hit me was the interview with the Deputy Secretary of Labor, who was a woman. She said that people cannot expect government to be responsible for maternity leave and they should save ahead of time and have some personal responsibility to be prepared. Easy to say coming from her cabinet level position, I guess. But what about the middle to lower income families that are just scraping by?

They did interview a HR woman from IBM who has an extremely family-friendly workplace and she said that they don't do it to benefit the family, they do it because it benefits their business. Woman/Men who have a more understanding, flexible workplace perform better, are more loyal and do not suffer in productivity.

It's really just a bad situation.

[majorgal]

I watched the 20/20 piece and I thought it was OK. I am GLAD it was out there because I think the issue of family-friendly policies need to be more on the forefront of the political arena, so, anything to raise awareness is a godo thing in my book. I just wish it went into more depth. I really wish the IBM HR rep had provided some tangibles as to how the family-friendly policies improve the bottom line. I've read a bunch, but I think more people need to see them.

The stats about maternity leave were eye-opening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news, At 18 1/2 months, we finally have to deal with Aidan crawling out of the crib. I had him in the crib for a time out, and I was in my room for the 90 seconds. All of a sudden I heard his crying get louder, and I thought my DH had gone in the room. When I peered around the corner, I saw Aidan standing in the doorway. I put him back in the crib to finish his time out and watched through the crack of the door as he slid up and over the crib again. Let the games begin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

scout: No real advice other than trust your gut. If you make spot visits often and all has been OK, I think your gut can be trusted. I am just sorry you have to deal with this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ktdelsur: Our Center was fabulous. They made the transition seamless. They waited until we were ready and they gave/give him only what I ask them to. Aidan was cow's milk sensitive until about a month ago, so he was on soy milk and they always helped me monitor how much was left so I coudl replenish in time. I would talk with the lead teachers/provider and share what your goals are. My guess is that they will be accomodating.

[chefker]

Didn't realize there's a new thread. Here I am. :)

Name: Kerrie
Career: Legal Assistant
Child: Ian, 11 months (born 12/31/2005)
Work Hours: 7:30 to 4:00
Daycare: Monday, Thursday-Friday, with private in-home daycare; on Tuesday & Wednesday I work at home, and the IL's watch DS



So funny to see all these schedules posted, I recently posted my daily schedule in my journal. I'll re-post mine here to share.

5 a.m. - Wake up; shower, blow dry hair, get dressed, brush teeth, apply makeup
5:20 - Get Ivan up, walk & feed him, pack my lunch; pack Ian's bag for daycare. Load up the car.
5:40 - Get Ian up, change his diaper & clothing; get his coat on, strap him into carseat
6:00 a.m. - Leave house, get coffee at DD on the way
6:45 - 7:00 a.m., depending on traffic - Arrive at Chrissy's, drop off Ian. Spend few minutes with him to say goodbye.
7:20 - 7:30 - Arrive at office
7:20/7:30 - 4:00 - WORK
4:15 p.m. - Pick up Ian from daycare
5:30 - Arrive home. Prepare snack for Ian, while I prepare dinner. Mike takes Ivan for his walk at this time.
6:00 - Feed Ian supper & bottle (usually I prepare it, and Mike feeds Ian while I finish preparing dinner)
6:45 - 7:00 - Hopefully dinner is done by this time, so we eat!
7:00 - Playtime with Ian
7:45 - Bathtime for Ian
8:00 - Ian's bedtime
8:30 - I watch a little TV or exercise. Maybe do laundry or housework, although I do the majority of housework on the weekend.
10:00 - 11:00 - Bedtime. I like to be in bed by 10 since I get up at 5.


Makes me tired to just look at it. And I've seen other schedules here that are even more full than mine!

[Renrel]

Scout - For what it is worth, when I was in elementary school, I think 2nd grade but maybe kindergarden and 1st grade as well, I often had stomach aches which appear to have been stress related and did not want to go to school. I was not abused to the best of my knowledge but I did find school a bit stressful at that age. I had trouble finishing homework and things like that. I was a sensative kid and wanted everbody to like me and everybody to get along. (My mom says that one of the issues with being the oldest child is that when you hit school are not the center of the universe anymore it is as bit shock. Though at that age I had a sibling and had been to part time preschool, but I probable was used to having adult fawn over me and that probably did not happen at school. Thus culture shock and stress.)

Not sure if that has any connection at alll, but when I read you post I immediately thought to how those symtoms equaled stress for me as a child. And as an adult I continued to have stomach and later neck problems in relation to stress, though those issues have not arisen for me in years now. Maybe this child is very sensative and this center was not a good fit for her. She needed more attention, or less atention, or more structure, or less structure, or less activity, or less noise, or or more meditation of teachers in her interactions with other kids or something. Maybe at home there are no rules and she can't get with the program of rules at school. Maybe at home there are very strict rules and daycare is so open ended she can't handle it. So many possibiltites that have no effect on your child.

[mmisabel]

scout - I think Renrel made some good points. One thing that crossed my mind was the possibility that this child started daycare at an older age than yours. A colleague of mine sent her daughter at 13 months and she had a horrible time adjusting. She cried, refused to eat and sleep at daycare. There was nothing wrong with the facility, it was the child being upset that she wasn't at home anymore. I've even heard of kids having trouble adjusting as young as 7-9 months old. How's the situation now??

[scout]

Chefker Welcome! :)

In other news, At 18 1/2 months, we finally have to deal with Aidan crawling out of the crib. I had him in the crib for a time out, and I was in my room for the 90 seconds. All of a sudden I heard his crying get louder, and I thought my DH had gone in the room. When I peered around the corner, I saw Aidan standing in the doorway. I put him back in the crib to finish his time out and watched through the crack of the door as he slid up and over the crib again. Let the games begin.
Isn't that a scary feeling? My ds did this a few weeks ago and it was so unnerving! Will you transfer him to a toddler bed?

I really appreciate all of the help, advice and support regarding my daycare situation last week. I'm feeling a lot better. My son always asks to go to daycare--even on weekends--and everytime I go there, he seems so happy. It's always been a loving place and I needed to remember why I chose it I think that my coworker's daughter was just having adjustment issues. She is a sensitive child, and the daycare is nearly all boys, except for one girl. My coworker's daughter didn't have anyone her age there--everyone was older or younger. I think it just wasn't the right place for her. I am SO grateful that I had all of you to give me different perspectives and you gave me a lot to think about and also reminded me to be diligent! Thank you!

[majorgal]

scout: It wasn't exactly scary, because he was SO careful with it. BUt, we knew that night we needed to start the transition. The next night he was up five times between 12 and 2:00 AM...he climbed out of the crib, threw open the nursery door and stood at the gate and yelled, "TA-DAAA!!" The next night we put his crib mattress on the floor and got him sleeping on that. Two nights ago we put his full size mattress on the floor and when we get back from our Thanksgiving trip, we'll convert the crib to a bed. Right now, the crib is in the basement....bizarre not to have a crib in the house.

It's been more than a week since Aidan slept in his crib, and, knock wood, I think we are well transitioned. He has been getting up once or twice a night, and he cries for a minute, then gets back into bed and goes back to sleep. So, I guess we are now, fully, in a Big Boy Bed!

[cynder]

Quick, does this sound right? Our center called saying that DS threw up as soon as he got up from lunch and to come get him. He was napping when I called. Our car's in the shop so I knew getting my husband (we work in the same area) and getting to DS would be a long process, so I asked them to wait until after his nap and to check his temp even though he wasn't feverish before nap. I just called and he's still napping so they haven't checked anything but they said that he would automatically have to stay home tomorrow because he threw up that one time. Obviously we'll keep him home if he's not feeling well but does that sound right - one puke and you're home the whole next day?

[ajlanden]

cynder-Our daycare's policy is that if they are sent home for illness reasons, then they have to be out the next day, unless you have note from the doctor saying they can return. Such a pain in the behind. A lot of times, if they call and say she is borderline, I make the decision to pick her up, just so I don't HAVE to keep her home the next day.

Hope he is okay!!

[Renrel]

I think many have a policy similiar to yours. My daycare/preschool is more flexible, actually my last center was also.. They don't insist a child go home and stay home just because they throw up once, since children sometimes throw up for non-illness reasons. If they are not acting wrong and needed too much attention for a caretaker to provide given the other kids in the class the kid can stay unless they throw up again. In general if a child is acting OK and not taking too much attention they can come to daycare. The center figures the same kids are together day in day out and the kid was contagious for a few days before they showed symtoms, so everyone was likely exposed already. There are a few exceptions but we have not run into them.

[blondegirl]

My center allows 2 vomits along with other symptoms before they send home. I don't remember reading anything about staying out the next day if they are sent home - I'll have to read some more into that.

[Renrel]

For those of you with older kids, toddlers and preschoolers, how do your centers handle the holidays. I am Jewish and my kids is one of three Jewish kids in a class of about 30 kids. (2 classes really) My prior center just did nothing other than a nondenominational holiday winter party. My new center trys to acknowledge all holidays they are aware of. This means Christmas is very present in the classroom, since there are more christmasy stuff around than chanuka or kwanansa(sp) or any other groups which may have holidays this time of year. At the holiday party Santa visits and give out presents.

Just today I found myself facing a book center where 1/4 to 1/2 of the books were christmas themed and my son asked me to read two of them to him. At sleep time they played a christmas/holiday tape which along with the Santa and winter songs included some that mention christ and Jesus. And at lunch one kid told me he and his mom are going to get a tree soon and DS wanted to know when we would get out tree. When I said we were Jewish and did not celebrate christmas or get a tree he got upset. He said you get trees for christmas. I told him again about how we are Jewish and celebrate chanuka (which is really not how I want to respond since the holidays are totally unrelated and you don't do one instead of the other.) He told me that was not what they talked about a circle time. Now I don't know what the discussion was about exactly at circle time, but if they were talking about who was getting christmas trees or what they were doing to prepare for the winter holidays I have a problem, since as Jewish we do not do much this time of year. Chanuka is a small holiday which has already been gussied up too much because our kids and sometimes we can feel maginalized when we are not part of all the Christmas Hoopla. I don't want to kill the joy for the rest of the kids but I also don't want my kid feeling like the odd man out in school.

I need to talk to the teacher tomorrow but I don't want to sound like a complaining parent who wants the whole class geared toward their kids needs. I also worry that if they get into talking about Santa I may have to talk to my son about the fact that Santa is made up. I am not going to tell him Santa will not stop at our house because we are Jews, since that makes being Jewish sound like a bad thing, that Santa does not like us. But the kids will talk about everything and anything and I really don't want my son to be the center of a preschool is Santa real debate.

And I am sure they will do something for chanuka and they will invite me to do a themed thing if I want to. My friend has done one for many years and this year is her last year as part of the center. But I doubt that there will be on going discussions for the next month about chanuka. It will be given a few projects and stories here and there. But it is likely that Santa and presents and such will be talked about in general at lunch and play yard time and in relation to all those books during free time. I am afraid that Chanuka will be a cultural lesson and Christmas will be a more of a on going theme, like talking about plants and sun and the beach all summer.

[cynder]

Thanks for the quick info. It looks like it was a fluke so they didn't enforce anything.

Renrel Our center keeps it pretty non religious. I am not sure what it will be for the holidays but we had a Fall Festival instead of a Halloween party. I don't know what I would do but how did your family deal with it when you were young?

[Winter Biscuit]

cynder - I'm responding a little late, but just wanted to mention that our center's policy is that if the child vomits, has diarrhea that runs out of his/her diaper or underpants, or has a fever, he/she must be picked up and cannot return to the center until 24 hours after the last episode of vomiting or diarrhea or until the fever has been gone for 24 hours WITHOUT controlling it via medication. Their reasoning is that they are not staffed to provide sick care, so it is in everyone's best interest if the child remains home until he/she is well enough to return.

If a child puked for a non-illness reason like Renrel mentioned, I am not sure how they would handle it or if they'd make exceptions based on the fact that the child was otherwise behaving as normal. My DD has only had to go home 2 times in the last 3 years for vomiting, and she was clearly ill both times (flushed face, crabby, fever, etc.) It can be a PITA to stay home but I honestly don't mind the policy because if she is truly sick, I don't want her there anyway.

Renrel - that is a tough situation. I am glad that you plan to talk to the director, and I hope they can work something out with you. I don't have any advice because my DD attends a Christian daycare center so Christmas is definitely celebrated and mentioned. Still, it sounds like your center has gone a little overboard. Although I do celebrate Christmas myself, I would personally be a bit uncomfortable if our center was playing Christmas carols at naptime, replacing regular books with Christmas-themed books, etc. In this day and age, I think it's important to teach young children about diversity as best as we can, and putting so much focus on one Christian holiday just doesn't seem right. (And again, I say this as a Christian who celebrates Christmas!) It excludes those who don't celebrate Christmas, and even those who DO celebrate Christmas don't necessarily embrace the religious aspects of the holiday and could very well be uncomfortable about the mention of Christ/Jesus in the songs, books, etc. Maybe you can ask the director to focus more on "winter" (snowmen, snow, winter traditions like sledding down a hill, etc.) and some of the things that happen during winter (which could certainly include a discussion of Christmas and any other customs/traditions of other religions, although I fully appreciate and respect that Chanaukah (sp?) is NOT the "Jewish Christmas) rather than putting all the emphasis on "Christmas." After all, winter lasts an entire season while Christmas is technically only one day (although our society has turned it into a season that begins long before Halloween). At the very least, I'd ask them to tone it down a bit, or ask them to constantly remind the kids that SOME people celebrate Christmas and participate in the various holiday traditions like cutting trees down, but not everybody does. It will be impossible to keep Christmas out of the classroom, as kids who do celebrate get excited and can't help talking about it, but it just doesn't seem right for the teachers/center to be emphasizing it when there are children in the class who do not celebrate Christmas. Good luck - I really hope you can work something out.

[EJH]

Cynder -- Not sure what our "vomiting" policy is. DD had diahrrea (according to them) 3 times in one day and I was told she had to stay home the next day, even though she was fine.

Renrel -- Our center is non-denominational, I don't know if they are even doing any sort of holiday type stuff. I doubt it b/c one of the classrooms had a cd on today and the E.D. heard Xmas music and went running in to tell them to stop the cd!

Random update on DD -- she's in the toddler room now and has been for about a month. It's fantastic. We are so happy that she's been moved up. Their days are structured, they always have activities planned, it's just wonderful. We got her off the bottle completely and onto a sippy about 6 weeks ago and she's now napping on a cot. She's growing up!

Erin

[blondegirl]

Renrel-I'm not sure what our current center does, since we have only been there for a few months, but my oldest DD's center (that she went to many years ago!!) always celebrated all the holidays - kwanza, hanukkah, christmas, etc. They put up decorations for each, had special lunches w/ foods of the certain culture, etc.

I have noticed that on our calender, it does say they will decorate the classroom for xmas (but I don't have Dec. calender yet, so I'm not sure what type of activities will be done.) We are raising our kids jewish and catholic, so I am ok with the christmas theme at school, etc since we will be stressing the Hanukkah aspect at home. (Plus, my kids are still really too young to know any better.) We are also not overly religious, and don't stress the christ/religious aspect of the holidays. I agree with what Winter Biscuit said about seeing if the class could focus more on the winter themes, instead of santa and xmas, such as snowmen, reindeer, etc.

I think speaking to the teacher is a good idea. Could you send in some Hanukkah books to add to the book collection, or some Hanukkah decorations the teacher could put up around the classroom? Just an idea, as I really haven't put too much thought into this, but I know it will come up in a few years when my kids are older. (My oldest is 7, and isn't an issue, and never really was with her since we lived in a very diverse area and there had always been many cultures around. Not soo much in our new area though!)

[Renrel]

The school actually down try to be very even handed , celebrating everything. There are chanuka decorations and they will spend a week on chanuka, a week on christmas and a week on Kwanza this month. But the thing that makes me uncomfortable is that little things like I mentioned can create a feeling of what is the normal status quo, and that everything else is diversity awareness if that makes sense. The books were not religous, but there was Barnie christmas, and Pooh Christmas, and Froggie Christmas ect. My son is bound to start asking about Santa visiting our house if every other book he sees is about Santa. If I tell him Santa will not visit our home because we are Jewish, than being Jewish is a bad thing. If I let Santa visit our home I am selling out my own culture. If I tell him Santa is make beleive there are going to big issues with the other kids.

But I was really put off by the teachers reaction. I did not feel like she really listened to what I was saying. She heard the start of what I had to say and immediately jumped with how they will do all the holidays, not just Christmas, there are chanuka books in the special book area where the kids are supervised (book that need extra care), they did not even start the holidays yet, they only decorated the room, kids are going to talk, DS may be interested in Christmas and that is why he is picking out christmas book, not because there are limited other choices. Very defensive and leaving me feeling as if I am out of lining for bringing up the subject. She did not take the time to let me express my concerns. To ask me for any details or explainations of my concerns. About what I wanted from her or the school. I am not sure I could have answered all of these questions but if she asked I would have felt she was interested in trying to meet my needs. Instead I felt like she was intent on defending her way of doing things and nipping any requests for changes in the bud.

I think mostly I wanted her to listen to why this time of year makes me uncomfortable in regards to my son's upbringing so she can truely be sensative to things that might not be on her radar. Maybe she would be anyway, but she does not know that and niether do I. The fact that she had two Jews in her class last year does not mean she understands what it means to be Jewish, any more than having a black friend and taking a diversity training class allows me to know what it feels like to be Black. I ned to listen to my friends concerns to become truely empathic and responsive.

Maybe I am overly sensative, though I don't think so. At least not to the point that I expect the class to change to address all of my discomforts. But I don't think she realizes that just doing all the holidays evenly does not address the issue that a Jewish kid is likely to feel his differerence more deeply this time of year. In fact giving Chanuka equal billing with Christmas and Kawanza can be problematic since it is a minor holiday that has nothing to do with the other, besides being at this time of year. And I know she can't stop the kids from talking about Santa and Christmas trees and the like, but that doesn't mean we should not talk about the fact that that will happen and how to deal with it. I am not sure if just telling him that not everyone celebrates Christmas satisfactorily address the issue, though I am not sure what I do want her to do. What do I want her to do or say if DS starts taking about Santa visiting his house. Or about why Santa won't visit his house. What if he talks about getting a Christmas tree. About the presents Santa will bring him. Wil she remind him that he is Jewish and will not? Will she just ignore it, and let him create his fantasy of what he wants to happen? Will she tell me about these kinds of questions and converstations if they take place in school?

I think I need to talk to the director about my feelings about this teacher more than about the holiday thing. I was very excited that she has a masters in education, but I think she needs to learn more about listening skills and communication.

[maybebaby]

Renrel it's far harder to be in a minority religious group...I would tell your DC what you want about Santa and let the other kids' parents worry about what they tell their kids about Santa.

I grew up Jewish and remember that I always thought the other kids talking about Santa were a little crazy. I don't think I disillusioned anyone though. :-)

[EJH]

UGH. Okay, here's what I hate about having a boss without kids.

Daycare just called me. Arden is screaming in the back -- apparently she woke up from her nap really upset and won't calm down. (been 15 minutes of crying, which is so unlike her)

I don't feel like I can leave, b/c my boss will get so mad and I'm already on his sh*tlist (always have been, and am the only one reporting to him). I had them go see if MIL next door could get her calmed down, and if not to call me back. I just HATE this. I should be able to go get my kid without fearing for my job security. (and it's not that i can't work from home, he just doesn't approve of such a thing)

:( erin :(

[shirsty]

Hey Erin that really sucks. Sorry you have such a crappy boss, and I hope that Arden calmed down soon! I am sure it was the icing on the cake to have to ask MIL to go over instead of being able to go yourself :rolleyes: hugs!

[psusna]

Oh Erin, I'm sorry :( I hope that your MIL was able to calm Arden, but you are right -- you should not feel trapped by work.

[EJH]

Yep, you know I hated having to have MIL go over...but I just couldn't leave. Luckily, DP was in a training class and got out early so she was able to go get her around 3. She definitely had a bit of a fever from her shots and wasn't herself tonight. I'm hoping she's okay in the morning because we really need to be able to send her to daycare. I hate feeling like this. Especially working for an office that touts itself as "family friendly" -- it isn't for me!!

There's just no worse feeling than not being able to go get her. Sigh.

[jojobear]

EJH: Sorry to hear you feel trapped. I felt really bad when you first posted your situation. I'm kinda in the same boat. What sucks is that I am the only woman in my group of about 15 guys of which none of them have an infant at this time. And even if they did...I'm not even sure if any of them are the type to be the primary go-to parent for daycare.

[twinnyme]

I'm hoping she's okay in the morning because we really need to be able to send her to daycare. I hate feeling like this.

I hope Arden's okay this morning! I'm sorry this is happening - I know how you feel and it's tough, tough, tough. Thinking of you.

[Winter Biscuit]

Erin - I, too, hope Arden is OK this morning. That really sucks. :(

[EJH]

Jojo-- I'm sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Other folks in the office have young kids and report to someone with young kids who, although his wife stays home, understands the needs for flexibility.

Melissa -- Hey -- Thanks :)

Winter - Thank you :)

So she's okay this morning. I think she's definitely still reacting to the shots though. It's my own damn fault, we usually arrange for her to have shots on say a Friday in case she reacts. I didn't realize she was getting shots at her 15 month appt. She was okay to go to daycare, I told them to give her motrin this morning (forgot when I left the house, and I leave them a bottle). I also asked that if something similar happens again, could they try taking her to gross motor or something that we know she loves, to try and distract her. They started to say, "oh well, then that only leaves one person in the room" and I said, yes, but perhaps you could call the ED or AD to come and take Arden. MIL can't really have her in the factory because it's such a safety hazard now, and they shouldn't (no should I) rely on the fact that she's there. I think it's a bit of a crutch for them especially b/c they feel like they don't have to work through an issue if A is upset. It's such a long back story, I know they fear MIL coming through the door and hearing Arden upset etc. Thankfully she's just too busy anymore to make her surprise visits. I actually think this is the only time in the almost year she's been there that I've actually asked them to go get MIL.

In other news, was offered a new job last week. It's good in a way (a very nice pay raise), but her commute will be awful and she'll lose the great flexibility we've had, plus she has to go back 5 days (she's been at 4). She's struggling a lot with the decision, and I feel so bad. It's a great opportunity, this company basically made this position for her, but she's now going to be going into Boston every day (probably around 1.5-2 hours each way). She also feels guilty about Arden having to be in daycare 5 days a week. Her current boss tried so hard to get HR to give her a raise so that she would stay, but HR refused. Don't even get me started on the 1-woman show that is their HR department.

Anyhoo, it means that we lose any semblence of flexibility we've had in terms of balancing work and family. I played the lotto yesterday. Hoping we win a few million on Friday, that would help a lot. ;)

Erin

[psusna]

Erin: I’m glad that she was doing better today. You situation is definitely unique with MIL being so close to her center, that would drive me bonkers. Anyhow, congrats to DP on the new job. Is it something where perhaps she can work it for a year or so to get the experience and parlay it into something closer to home at that time? I know you’ll find a way to make it work, but I know that changing the way things are now stinks. Change stinks. Hang in there! -- good luck with Lotto ;)

[EJH]

PSUSNA --

Actually yes, it's definitely something she can do for a year and use it to jump from. In her field it's not uncommon to do that, so that's a plus. We've talked about her doing contract work, where the real $$ is, but we want to make sure that things with me are very steady if we make that commitment. Right now, they're unfortunately not.

[Renrel]

EJH - I am sorry you had such a bad mommy day and that your need to support your family conflicts with your need to care for your family. It is a shame this country is so concerned with "family values" it has failed to provide support for the real live families that depend on it in the manner most other country have.

I had a talk with the assistant director of daycare that went well today. I told her about the issues I am having with our daycare teacher and she was very receptive. She told that they have been working with this teacher on her parent communcation skills and that she appreciated my bring it to her attention.

The teacher did come to speak the the directors about my "holiday" concerns for ideas on how to address them. So she was in some manner responsive to my concerns. I did notice that there was a non-holiday tape on at nap time yesterday and more chanuka decorations and Kwanza decorations today.

The ass. director and I both agreed that this teacher has strenths in things like creating a child centered classroom and behavor managment/discipline, but she his trouble with communication and tends to become defensive or drop the ball when she feels challenged or unsure of herself. But she apparently does allow a message to filter down after she had time to think and will try to address the matter, after having had a defensive reaction. I can do the same thing and I have seen other do this as well. I can live with it. It is a normal if not the most effective way to deal with critisim.

This is her first year as a lead teacher and she is young, so she has much to learn. In her last position the lead teacher was an older woman who handled all this stuff herself. I also doubt there is much parent communciation training in teacher school, but I could be wrong. She was also home schooled so the interaction of parent and teacher was not something she would have observed growing up. parent and teacher were one and the same.

We also talked a bit about the holiday season. The director shared how my friend had done alot over the years to teach her about the Jewish holidays since she was raised Catholic and did not know much about them, but that I was giving her a much more personal point of view of what it can be like to be Jewish this time of year. The many parenting questions and issues that a Jewish parent confronts on how to be Jewish in a Primarily Christian based culture. I felt that she for the most part heard me and would incorporate some of my concerns into how she dealt with the holidays in school. She told me how last year there was a problem because some of the teachers decorated the class room around the subject of the week. So when they did the Christmas week the whole classroom was decorated in Christmas stuff, with the intention that the following week it would be decorated for Chanuka and then the next week for Kawanza. She explained to them at that time that it was fine to have the subject for the week be one holiday but that it was not ok for someone to walk into the classroom and get the impression that only one holiday was recognized by the school. That it would make parents uncomfortable.

But the issue of the parent/teacher communication, was the more important one we dealt with, to me as a parent, to my son as the student, to the teacher as a professinal , and to the directors as the managers of the school. The directors' expections for this teacher are that she will continue to work on this issue for many years. There will be no sudden change in behavor. And that is a reasonable expectation. Communication skills are not the kind of thing you master over night. There is so much emotional baggage as well as historical habits to deal with on top of just learning"skills." The directors' request of me is that I not allow the teachers issues to stop me from approaching her about issues. That the only way the teacher can grow is to have situations where she has to communicate even when it is not comfortable for her.

Unfortunately my "talk" took about 45 minutes and I did not get to visit with my son at lunch. He will be annoyed with me when I pick him up at the end of the day.

[DallasLady]

Bump.

[Renrel]

update- I feel as if the teacher is making an effort to be more interactive with me. She is doing a good job of making it seem natural even though I am sure it is contrived for now, since there is a change. That is fine, it is the only way we will get to natural. Both teachers are probably trying a bit too hard to make sure they take to my son about hanuka. This week Hanuka is actual the theme for the lesson plans. I brought in a chanuka CD and several chanuka books, along with enough little draidles for the whole class to help them out. They do have their own materials but I wanted some books that the kids could handle themselves and all the schools chanuka books are kept where the kids have to be supervised while looking at them. I also brought in a tape of jewish lullabies.

And it is silly but the fact that while talking to one of the Christian families about each visiting the others house during the holidays to learn about the others traditions their son started talking about wanting to celebrate chanuka made me feel better. That this was not just an issue for the minority Jewish family, that main stream kids were just as intriqued by the holidays the don't celebrate.

My son continues to ask me to reach chistmas books in school. I read them by try to limit the number of times I say Chistmas, but saying just day or evergreen instead of christmas day or christmas tree, unless it is really necessary in the story to use the word Christmas. After all, for my son Christmas day is not the most wonderful day of the year, it is a day when he gets to stay home with us but nothing more. At home I bought a bunch of chanuka books so we are reading those and he is learning about his culture and religion through me and DH. He has not asked us for a Christmas tree or how Santa will find our house or anything like that. We will see how he reacts to Santa visiting for the school party tomorrow. I told him a man dressed as Santa will be coming. I think it will be fine.

[psusna]

Today is one of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. DS has been having sleep issues, which means I’ve been having sleep issues, and I’m having a major problem with my cost center at work today that involves an error on my part and an error on the part of Accounts Payable. Sadly, my error is bigger than theirs. It’s one of those days where I feel like I should quit because I’m obviously not giving 100% to either home/DS or my job right now. How do you motivate yourself to keep going on days like this?

[smiles33]

Psusna: I'm sorry to hear of your horrible day! I don't have any helpful advice as I know I was feeling just that way on Friday when I had an ugly situation rear its head at work and I found DD with scrapes and scratches all over the back of her legs and arms (which I found out was apparently caused by another older child walking over her as DD is the youngest by several months in her daycare class!!!).

I felt helpless, frustrated, and even angry at being caught in two bad situations. But today, after a whole weekend of being sick and miserable (which distracted me from those issues) and home from work for 2 days (which makes me miss work), I'm better able to put everything in context. Still, that sinking feeling of "Am I just doing a half-assed job in both places now?" hasn't completely disappeared.

Wish I had something more meaningful to add....

[psusna]

Smiles: It's nice to know we're not alone! I'm so sorry to hear about your DD' scrapes and scratches. I hope she is ok. Thanks for the supportive words -- tomorrow is another day!

[LittleStar]

Psusna - I wish I had some advice. I can only let you know that you are not alone. I've been struggling with the same thing. I'm not being a good "worker" and not being a good mommy (well, at least I feel that way) lately. Last week was awful. DS was sick so I had to miss a ton of work. Anyway, this week is much better. I just keep telling myself when I have bad days/weeks that it has to get better...and it usually does! Hang in there!

[jesseybell]

Half assed at home and at work - I know how you feel psusna- I have only been back to work for 6 weeks and it can be very difficult. Tomorrow I have to write my annual review (we do a self evaluation) and I have nothing really outstanding to write about for the first time ever. I drifted through the first 6 months before I went on leave, but I really thought I would jump in when I got back. I like my job and I want the sucess I've had in the past. But my mind is just not there (more due to lack of sleep rather than lack of desire) which makes me more frustrated. I need to talk to my supervisors - I need to be more busy. And in the past I've brought work home if I found myself goofing off too much during the day (ie on CC!) but I don't want to do that because my evenings are short enough with DD. It really, really is hard to do well in both I am finding....and I've only been a parent for 4 months.

[Sasha]

I'm looking for some advice on whether or not to say something to our Center's owner or ED. DD (19 months) has 3 teachers in her room. I have a very difficult time communicating with one of them, albeit she is not the lead teacher. She has a very thick accent, making it difficult for any of the parents to understand her, and I don't think she has a very good grasp of the English language. She doesn't seem to understand things I try to tell her. Example, this morning I said that DD had a bad night and was up a lot because she is cutting 3 teeth. She took it that I said DD slept really well and that DD told me she had a headache. :confused: Thankfully, the main teacher was in the room too and cleared up the confusion to this teacher. She is always the teacher there when I pick DD up in the afternoons and she can't give me good answers when I ask how DD's day was. Sometimes she just ignores me. I know for a fact that I am not the only parent who dislikes this teacher or has a difficult time communicating with her.

We already had a major problem with this teacher not too long ago, and I probably got her in some trouble. It resulted in her not being allowed to change DD's diaper at all and then not without supervision. I don't want it to seem like I have some sort of thing against this teacher, especially considering she is not from this country and I don't want it to seem like I am racist or something. And since the other two teachers are there, and I can always ask them the next day how DD is doing, that is why I think maybe I should just let it go. So, considering all these factor, WWYD?

[Heidi9771]

Sasha..effective communication is so important, and it sounds like with the diaper issue, and her inability to be able to understand English, and communicate back effectively is a real problem.

Your concerns should be heard, and you should have a conversation with the Director. Write instances down...dates, etc...come armed with information to back up your concerns. It shouldn't matter what race she is...remember...a key element of success to working in childcare is being able to effectively communicate to and with others (including the parents) who are caring for our children, in some cases, most of the week! If this employee has a problem meeting this key requirement, and it is causing concern and problems...speak up! It IS a valid and important concern. :)

[jesseybell]

Sasha- I would say something to the director. I finally had to talk to the director the other day. I hated doing it, but this is your child's welfare you are talking about. One of things I had to complain about was that when I pick her up, only the "floaters" are still around (I am picking up at 5:30 and I know at least 2 of the 4 infant teachers are still supposed to be there, but they leave as soon as the ration allows) so I too don't get a good assessment of how my DD's day was.

While I was not complaining about a person in general, one of the teachers thought I was and was really pissy about it for a day but seemed pleasant today to DH. That made me even more pissed off- I don't want to feel that I can't say something. I am not going to complain every day (I finally said something after I felt that they had made 3 mistakes on her feeding chart over a 6 week period of time) but I don't want to feel intimidated by speaking up.

I don't think you should feel that you would be perceived as being a racist by saying something. Daily communication is key - I hate it when the lead teacher isn't there when I drop off because sometimes I wonder if the other teachers tell each other what I say.
I will admit, I specifically did not pick one day care because 2/3 of the infant teachers had thick accents. I didn't even think about me communicating with them (what did I know back then!), I was concerned about language development down the line. I hated feeling that way, but it was a concern of mine.

[psusna]

Sasha: I agree with the PP's, I think you need to say something. Jackson has an ESL teacher as his secondary teacher. We were very concerned at first because she was afraid to speak to anyone -- but the ED explained that a condition of her employment was taking an ESL class for her first 6 months of employment. We can tell she is going as her English has improved so much. Our major concern (like jesseybell said) was that this point in our DC's development they are learning language, speech patterns, idnetifying objects, etc. We were afraid her inability to speak our language would impact Jackson's ability to learn our language right off the bat, or cause confusion between what he heard/learned at school and what he heard/learned at home. That is what we were most concerned with at the time, but it's worked out great. I think it would make you feel better about Sarah's care to discuss it with someone.

[smiles33]

Just jumping in to add, FWIW, that having a limited English speaking teacher shouldn't have any negative consequences on your respective DC. Brains are wired to learn languages and kids can pick up quickly when someone makes a grammatical mistake. My own immigrant parents still don't speak perfect English and I recognized that at an early age because I heard perfect English at school and on TV.

And, there's an added bonus if the teacher also speaks her own language with the child, as that may actually help with your child's brain development since it challenges your brain to learn different languages (if I recall my college linguistics course correctly). I think that same course also talked about how the young child's brain is more receptive to language acquisition and you lose that special "ability" by the time you get to age 7-10 or so.

As a bilingual speaker myself, I know that I, as well as all of my fellow American-born cousins (we all have immigrant parents who prefer to speak Chinese at home), grew up speaking both Chinese and English without a problem and were able to switch back and forth effortlessly depending on the situation. I still recall how my cousin's 5 year old daughter would purposefully speak in English when she didn't want her grandmother to know what she was saying. Kids are surprisingly adept at distinguishing between the different languages and knowing who can speak which ones.

Hope that provides some reassurance to those concerned about the impact on your DC.

[psusna]

Smiles: Excellent point. Thanks for the different perspective.

[Sasha]

Thanks for all the input, ladies. When I picked DD up yesterday, I saw the Center owner and decided to talk to her. I made a point to say that I didn't want to be "that parent" or seem like I had something against this teacher, but I wanted to bring the communication issue to her attention. She was very glad I did, as it turns out that it is something she is aware of but no parent has ever brought it up, even though she has heard the grumblings. She reassured me that this teacher is just the aide in the room, and they make a point to tell her to say something to the parents if she doesn't understand them. They are working with her on her English, and her daughter also works there in another room, and she helps if there is a communication problem. She also said how nurturing and loving this woman is to all the children, which I know because DD does seem to really like this woman, and can even say her name. I'm not going to be overly concerned about it because DD will be moving up to the next room within the next month or so, and I feel more comfortable communicating with the main teacher in the room anyway. I wasn't looking to get this woman fired or anything, I just wanted to see if they were aware of the issue.

Smiles - Thanks for your point too. The speech learning aspect had crossed my mind too, but more so in a way of, geez, do the kids understand what this teacher is saying to them? This woman does not speak her native tongue, but just has an extremely thick accent (she is Indian). However DD's main teacher is Hispanic and does speak Spanish sometimes to the Hispanic kids. DD has picked up on it, and for months now has been saying "agua" for water. I really love that she is picking up Spanish so early.

[SiValleySteph]

Smiles, I completely agree with everything you said! My DH is trilingual - Mandarian, Shanghainese and English. :D

My DS is in a home daycare where 2 of the 5 providers do not speak any English (Mandarian only) and 1 speaks limited English. It has been so great since we started. DS has picked up several Mandarian phrases in the 2 months he's been there. We are fortunate, though, that DH can communicate with all the teachers if we need detailed information. The 2 younger providers (the daughters) are completely fluent in English with no accent.

I do know how it is tough, though, when you can't get information that you want.

[smiles33]

I'm glad to see that you got a better resolution, Sasha! I forgot to mention in last night's post that I totally understand your frustration with not getting enough information and being concerned about safety issues if a daycare provider can't communicate effectively. My post was narrowly focused on the impact on children''s language development so I hope it didn't come across as not validating your very real concerns about the teacher.

And psusna, I hope I also didn't come across as "judgmental" as I think it's a natural response to be concerned about kids' language development when they have a caregiver with limited English skills. I would likely have had the same concern were it not for my own personal background growing up with two languages.

Wow, SiValleySteph, I didn't realize your DS is trilingual! I used to think it was "crazy" difficult for kids to be able to navigate in more than 2 languages but apparently it's more common than I thought. That's a great skill to have!

Hope you all have a good day! I'm working from home today which means more time to surf CC. :)

[SiValleySteph]

Wow, SiValleySteph, I didn't realize your DS is trilingual! I used to think it was "crazy" difficult for kids to be able to navigate in more than 2 languages but apparently it's more common than I thought. That's a great skill to have!


Well, DH is trilingual. DS is only semi-lingual. hahaha. :D He's very good at English for a 2 year old and is picking up more Mandarian. We're not going to try and do too much Shanghainese since everyone in Shanghai speaks Mandarian as well these days. DH's family speaks Shanghainese with themselves, but they are all fluent in Mandarian as well. It's very complicated. :p

DS will probably not be a true billingual unless we put him in Chinese school (which I think is a good idea) since DH speaks English at our home.

[psusna]

Smiles: Oh heck no! I really did/do appreciate your perspective :)

[christy1010]

I am so grateful to find this type of thread! I have had the daycare from hell daytoday! My 19 month old DD is currently in a home daycare. I went to dropp her off this morning and the grandaughter of the daycare operator who also helps with the daycare was sitting in the daycare alone. Her comment to me was "We have a minor problem". She goes on to say that her grandma is in the emergency room at the present time because she was having back trouble, which apparently she was having trouble with last week, but I was never informed of. Anyway she states that the daycare will be closed today due to her not being able to handle all the kids. I completely understand that, and I am sympathetic to the operator's situation. What bothers me is this. Whey do they not keep parent numbers at home with them instead of at the daycare so if there is a problem the parents can be notified earlier instead of as they are dropping off the child? I was told they would call to let the parents know the status of grandma and if daycare was closed on Thursday. It is almost 8:30pm and I have not heard a word.

On a second note, my DD is transfering to another daycare in January because it is closer to my work place. I need to give notice to the current daycare provider, what information should I include besides specifics such as when her last day will be?

[dionysia]

Yesterday at our daycare trial run:
"We've secretly replaced Leo with a clone that naps in the crib & even the swing. Let's see who notices!"

Yes, my "I won't nap anywhere but on Mamma" and "I will last 15 minutes tops in the swing and wouldn't be caught dead sleeping in it!" son napped in his crib & the swing at daycare. :eek:

Of course, I tried to replicate their results today with no luck. I even tried the 'put him on his side with a lovey up against his cheek' trick. Harumph. :cool:

Leo's bedtime is now 8-8:30 pm and he has adjusted to the schedule quite well. Color me impressed. He used to sleep 11-8 or so. Now it's 8:30-6.

Di

[ajlanden]

christy-They should've definately called you. That is crappy. As for leaving, when we left our daycare (center) last year, all I told them was that DD last day would be "such and such". Nothing else. I wanted them to ask me why, so I could give them a piece of my mind, but they didn't. :D

Di-That is awesome that he slept at daycare!!!! We have the opposite problem. No sleeping at daycare, but sleeping great at home. It isn't easy, is it?

[twinnyme]

Yes, my "I won't nap anywhere but on Mamma" and "I will last 15 minutes tops in the swing and wouldn't be caught dead sleeping in it!" son napped in his crib & the swing at daycare. :eek:

Of course, I tried to replicate their results today with no luck. I even tried the 'put him on his side with a lovey up against his cheek' trick. Harumph. :cool:

Leo's bedtime is now 8-8:30 pm and he has adjusted to the schedule quite well. Color me impressed. He used to sleep 11-8 or so. Now it's 8:30-6.

This brings me way back, Dionysia - or maybe just 21 months back.... :) My DD was like your Leo - would NOT sleep at all at home for the first three months - she took catnaps for 15 minutes at a time, and probably slept no more than an hour in 13-hour days, no matter what I did. Nights were a little better, but naps, forget it! Then she began daycare and it was like a miracle happened - I figure the providers must have more experience than me, and that's how it happened, but however it did, I was grateful. It still took her a while to get on a better schedule at home, but it did happen, and now she is down to one nap a day and naps great (thank goodness). I call her my "recovering catnapper" :D and was SO grateful to daycare for this change in her schedule (and many other things, too).

I hope it continues to go well, both daycare and your return to work.

christy1010 - sorry you had such an awful daycare day yesterday! I hope they finally called you in time enough for you to plan for today.

[smiles33]

Question: do any of you take your DC to playgroups on the weekend? We haven't been because weekends are so busy catching up on both household errands and trying to squeeze in quality family time.

But when I was talking w/DH last night, I realized we wouldn't have anyone to invite to DD's first birthday party other than family and our friends. Her daycare friends all live close to my work, which is a 45 minute drive from our house.

I'm feeling a little sad about this, but I don't see how I can help her make friends close to our house without sacrificing a lot....

[SiValleySteph]

smiles33, Definitely NO playgroups on the weekend. Ugh. I can't imagine trying to squeeze that in. Weekends are family time for us. DS has some non-daycare friends that our children of our friends. That's good enough. I would not worry about this at all for a 1st birthday party - kids at this age only engage in parallel play so they won't even care really. I think playgroups before 1-1/2, maybe even 2, are really about parents socializing. We didn't invite any daycare friends to DS's 1st birthday, just our friends and their children. We bypassed the whole thing for the 2nd birthday by going to Hawaii. A bit drastic, perhaps, but made the whole thing very easy. :)

[Renrel]

smiles33 - We did not do playgroups or playdates from when he started DC at just before age 1 until he was almost 3. Then we started doing a few playdates, like 3 in 6 months. We started making some time for them because at age 3 there are more interactive and I wanted DS to have more experience with one on one interactions at his home and at other peoples homes. Sharing his toys, respecting another childs toys, which is different then daycare's toys and with manners involved in being a host or guest. It also gives us a chance to interact with the parents of his school friends. As for parties, at 1 yr we still had our first year playgroup to attend, along with our friends and relatives. Yr 2 we had only daycare friends and like you those were near work. We just had a party out of state at my mothers for relatives. This year he is in a different school but still near work not home. We did throw a b-day party and invited all the kids in his class as a few from the other (older) preschool class that he plays with during times the classes are mixed. We had 8-9 kids, with their parents, at a indoor playground type place. It worked great. He also had a party in school. We have been invited to 3 other parties in the year we have been in the school. One for a friend from his toddler class, one who is the daughter of a friend from before we had kids and is in the older preschool class (when he was still in the toddler class) and one since he entered preschool. Even though the kids are from all over they still show up for the b-days parties. Though of these 4 parties only one was at a home, the other three were at public sites - ours, at a playspace, a zoo and a children's museum.

[ajlanden]

No playdates here. Weekends are family time!! That time is precious! Birthdays, so far, have just been family too and have been very fun. I suppose as they get older, we will invite friends from daycare.

[DallasLady]

Name: Giovanna (DallasLady)
Career: Teacher
Child: Alexandra, born 9/18/06
Daycare: In-home daycare

Hi ladies!

I'm joining your ranks starting Wednesday. I teach 8th grade science and I have been off for 15 wonderful weeks. I am really dreading going back, especially since DD just got her first cold yesterday :( She has a runny nose and a bad cough. Ugh, I am so sorry that she is sick and so stressed out about starting daycare this way (she did have 3 half-day "trials" the week before Christmas, so this isn't her official first day).

[shirsty]

welcome to the new moms! Starting back to work is the absolute toughest but it will get better. I still have my days where I think OMG I'm making a huge mistake!!! But they are getting fewer and farther between thankfully. Give it some time, work on your routine, and hang in there!

playdates My DS is only 14 months, but we are definitely among the weekends-are-for-family group. I am very hesitant to schedule anything extraneous for the weekends, they are for time together and relaxation, as much as possible.

[jesseybell]

2 months back to work and we are STILL working on our routine. Our morning routine really is quite a disaster (ie, I should be leaving by 7:30 at the absolute latest while DH should be doing drop off - I end up dropping off a lot and even if I don't drop off, I leave at the same time as DH and DD)

I think my "grace" period at work is probably over - I need to buckle down and work hard. I really want to. I am actually upset they haven't given me more work to do. I want to be busy, so I can be engrossed in being and an employee during the day - would make the days go faster!

After 2 months of pumping at work, I am going to be giving up the pump. I tried to WOHM and pumper and I was able to contribute incredibly to my stash in the last 2 months. But time has come. It will be a sad day to hang up my pump, but I am looking forward to be able to go to lunch and take other breaks.

[{b}]

UGH! Why, why, why is there no water in the cooler in our office today? Grrrr. I am so dehydrated, but I can't stand spending another $1.25 (Highway robbery!) on bottled water! My pumping session earlier was dreadful!

[Winter Biscuit]

No playdates here. Weekends are family time!! That time is precious! Birthdays, so far, have just been family too and have been very fun.

Same here. We occasionally do get together with some friends who have children the same age, so DD still gets social interaction with kids her age on the weekends, but we don't have any special play groups or anything. DD just had a birthday a few weeks ago and we did a little party at daycare with all her friends - much easier to do it there than to try to invite several toddlers to our house (I haven't met all of their moms/dads, plus they live all over the place so it's not like everyone would have been "local"). I also agree that at the younger ages, the birthday parties and playgroups are more for the parents. Yes, they teach important skills to children, I don't dispute that. But I don't think a 1-year old will really notice if any of his/her friends are there or not since they aren't really into interactive play yet at that age ;)

{b} - I hope you find some water! $1.25 is a small price to pay for a decent pumping output ;) although I know what you mean - I hate spending money on bottled water too, especially when we have a water cooler at work. I started buying cases of water at the grocery store for $4-5 and keep them in my car so I can bring my own bottles.

DallasLady - Good luck today, and I'm sorry your DD is sick :( Hope she is feeling better and hope all goes well today!

[dionysia]

Lesson learned:
Make Leo's bottles smaller rather than larger, since whatever he does not drink in one feeding has to be tossed. I don't want to think about how much milk was tossed yesterday because I filled up his 9 oz bottles thinking they could be used for 2 feedings. :(

Pumping yesterday at work went pretty well.

Di

[LTJC]

Rejoining...

Name: LTJC
Career: Career Development at local university
Children: M - 2 1/2, D - 5 months
Childcare: Corporate center daycare

Back to work after a long 5 months off. For me, the first day back is not the worst; it's the week of anticipation beforehand that gets to me. Both kids had a great day! For anyone whose children attend a daycare center, has JUMPBUNCH ever been offered there? M can take a free "class" at the end of the week and I'm curious what other's experiences have been. Also, for anyone with two in daycare, do you drop off older or younger first in their respective rooms?

Thanks! Hang in there ladies. It does get much easier.

[{b}]

Di - Is that a daycare rule? Because unfinished BM can be refrigerated and reused at the next feeding, from what I understand.


I stole water yesterday at work from another department! I felt badly doing it, because I know each department has their own water budget, but dude, I had to! The only reason we were out was because the holidays had messed up our delivery. Pumping is MUCH easier when you have lots of water! :D

[dionysia]

{b} - yes, it's a daycare rule. :(

In addition to bringing smaller bottles, I can bring BM in bags and just have them fill up the bottle with 5 oz at a time.

Di

[mmisabel]

Good luck to the mom's heading back to work. The first 2 weeks are SO hard, but it truly gets better.

Jesseybell - I put away my pump over Christmas too. I wasn't too sad to end that relationship :)

Di - My daycare has that throwing out BM milk too. Don't they know it's liquid gold??!! :)

[shouldaeloped]

hi everyone! I've been reading along but have never posted here before!

I'm shouldaeloped
career- corporate recruiter for a Fortune 15 company
child- DD, 6 months
childcare- local church daycare. she loves it there!

I wanted to respond to the playgroup thing. we haven't gone to any playgroups but I am trying to start one. we haven't been living in this city for very long and need to meet people. some of the ladies I have met at daycare seem to be very cool and I have other friends that I would love to socialize with more. . all with babies between 8 weeks and 8 months. so I am going to give it a shot. I invited dads too so maybe it can be a big group of family and friend time? do you all think it will backfire? will no one show and leave me with a lot of toys laying around and a big bowl of m&m's all to myself?

[Renrel]

Hard to say what will happen until you ask. You might suggest that the first "meeting" will be a chance to talk about what if any kind of network, if any, the other parents are looking for outside of daycare. Throw out ideas like a yahoo group where you can post question like where to find mitten in February; co-op babysitting; pot luck dinners for the family; New Years party where the kids come and everyone leaves when their kid has had it, but you still get to dress a bit and do cocktail and such for awhile, getting group discount tickets to kid shows that come to town, or just a bi-weekly or monthly get together for parent and child at someones house. Maybe alternate with mommies and daddies so each parent gets some alone time in the house and some bonding time with child and other parents. It also will allow you all to talk in more depth about any concerns you have about daycare or to update each other on what you see each other kids doing when the parent is not around.

[Ohana]

dionysa Have you shared LLL's guidelines on EBM storage for daycares? It might help persuade them to be a bit more realistic on offering EBM. I know my daycare will allow EBM to be offered more than once and do everything they can to make sure absolutely none goes to waste.

LTJC DH, the kids and I all carpool together most days. DD#1 comes with us to drop the baby off then we all go to her classroom. She loves to help get her little sister settled in.

[shouldaeloped]

thank you renrel! great suggestions and I think I might bring up most, if not all, of those topics! I have the playgroup scheduled for next saturday so I'll see how it goes and then decide whether to continue with it or not. who knows. . . i might be the one that doesn't like it!

[smiles33]

Question: have you dealt with physically aggressive kids in your DC's center/home daycare?

DD had some peculiar "scratches" and rough spots on her legs that we just learned today are actually from eczema. Who knew? I thought it was a daycare-related incident, as we have 1 boy who is very physically aggressive (e.g., grabbing hair, stepping on other kids, hitting, etc.). I'm quite frustrated with the situation and don't know what to do. My mom, who drops by daycare frequently to visit DD, has seen this kid "attack" other kids 3 times now. The teachers will react, but the victim often cries for 20-30 minutes (probably out of shock as I doubt the pain lingers that long). The teachers said to my mom something about how they aren't sure where it comes from as the boy's parents are so nice and sweet. My mom said one teacher thinks it could be because he's an only child.

I just reviewed the policy manual and it doesn't say anything about kicking out kids who are aggressive. I know our center has a LOOOONG wait list so it's not a matter of needing to keep him, but is this considered "normal" development?

[EJH]

Smiles --

I don't know what my daycare's policy is re: aggressive kids. I know that a little girl in A's class was biting a lot (when they were still in infants). I was talking to her mom and I guess she'd bitten one of the other kids, so his parents were called and then she was called, but she wasn't supposed to know which kid was bitten (though she figured it out). She felt awful.

As an only child I have to stick up for my kind and say that's probably not the only reason he's aggressive!! A lot of times that aggression comes from boredom and/or frustration. The little girl in my example has gotten so much better since she transitioned to toddlers, because now she has stuff to do, things to occupy her mind, and doesn't have to fight for the too few toys that were scattered around the infant room.

Not sure that's helpful...but that's all I've got to offer! :o

QOTD -- Are your daycares closed today for MLK day? Ours was open until 12, then they had teacher/parent conferences. Well, um, that means that a) we had to scramble to find care for DD and b) we miss the conferences because uh, we're working parents!!! :confused: I just get so frustrated that we have to pay for the daycare to be closed. Call me bitter. :cool:

Erin

[jengen]

QOTD My center is in-home and is open today. Of course, DH is off so we kept DS home. Just another day we are paying for him not to be there. :rolleyes:

[shirsty]

QOTD our center is closed today too. They cater to govt employees (of which I am one) so they take all the usual govt holidays off. Which we knew going in so it's fine with me.

Kind of related QOTD: do any of you know if the employees/teachers at your daycare get paid for holidays/days the daycare is closed? This may be more applicable to center-type places. I meant to ask about this when we were checking the place out and forgot, and now I can't think of a cool way to ask :rolleyes: I sure hope the teachers are getting a paid day off, if we have to pay and they're closed!!

[Rancid13]

Even though I won't be returning to work for another couple of weeks, I thought I'd join up now. :)

Name~ Jennifer (Rancid13)
Career~ Office manager of a real estate office; also p/t real estate appraiser
Child~ Tyler Kekoa, born 12/2/06
Hours WOH~Mon-Fri 7:30am-4:30pm (though those might change to 8-5)
Daycare~ Grandma nanny on Mon-Thurs-Fri and every other Tues; DH has Weds and every other Tues off

I've been on maternity leave since the Weds before Thanksgiving and am getting very antsy to get back into the working world. I'm so not cut out for the SAHM thing, and am looking forward to having an actual daily routine that doesn't revolve solely around nursing, diapers and entertaining a wee one. I'm dying for daily adult conversation and interaction, plus the added bonus of getting a paycheck to call my own again which will also help with the household expenses and DH won't have to stress so much about being the sole earner for 2 months straight. Even if I just start out on a p/t basis before getting back to f/t hours, that's good enough a start back for me! :)

I think I'm very lucky in that my mom has offered to watch our son when I return to work. We were looking into daycare but have put that on hold for now unless something changes. My mom is still watching my brother's 2.5yo DD full time but she'll be starting preschool soon so that will free my mom up to watch our DS.

[EJH]

QOTD our center is closed today too. They cater to govt employees (of which I am one) so they take all the usual govt holidays off. Which we knew going in so it's fine with me.

Kind of related QOTD: do any of you know if the employees/teachers at your daycare get paid for holidays/days the daycare is closed? This may be more applicable to center-type places. I meant to ask about this when we were checking the place out and forgot, and now I can't think of a cool way to ask :rolleyes: I sure hope the teachers are getting a paid day off, if we have to pay and they're closed!!

I think that the teachers get paid, but honestly I'm not sure.

I'm frustrated that they have parent/teacher conferences during the middle of the day. I think they should offer an evening option for parents that can't make it to the daytime one. We're stuck right now, DP has a new job and no flexiblity (and even once it's an "old job" it doesn't look like the flexibility will be there), and I have little to no give from my boss. And, MIL was able to watch her today but she's moving to Vegas at the end of the month so that won't be an option anymore.

Anyhoo.

[jesseybell]

We are fairly lucky in that our center is only closed 2 days which we aren't (President's Day and Columbus Day) so DH and I will each take one of those days off. And those days are the Center's "professional" days so the teachers actually are working/in-training.

DH seemed a little bent that we have to pay the same amount on week's they are closed a day. What I keep telling him is that 1) the teacher's are most likely getting paid and 2) the per-week cost is calculated for the year, so it's not like there is a per-day charge.

Now if only we could have what my BFF's center has....you only pay for 50 weeks of daycare so if you take 2 weeks of vacation then you don't have to pay....though if you take more than 2 weeks of vacation you do still have to pay those other weeks. That would be fantastic!

[blondegirl]

My center is open today as well. Though I did have to pick DS up, as he has pink eye! Lovely. Left DD1 and DD2 there though, since they were having a good time! (DD2 is schoolage - and they went to Chuck E Cheese's!) I had to come back to work, so I made DH take care of DS until I get off.

I'm also lucky in that our center is only closed on days when I don't work.

[Renrel]

Our center is in a Federal building and caters to federal employee, though I am not one. They close for all Federal Holidays, plus two other days that the teachers get to choose. The past two years they have chosen the two days after christmas. I am a State worker and get all the Fed holidays off so that works out well, though to be honest I love the two days I get off that DS does not. Those are my holidays when I can do whatever I want for the day with no one to answer to. This year daycare closed due to Ford's death and if I did not have an understanding boss that could have been very tricky. Finding out on Friday that Daycare is closed on Monday. Luckily I have lots of vacations days so it was not that bad.

I am not sure of the exact policy on aggression at our center but I know they make a big effort to work with parents to resolve any issues a child may have. They would not expell a child unless it was really interferring with the abliity of the teachers to care for the other kids. There was one child in DS toddler class who has some problem which makes him, well I would not call it aggressive but he would tend to grab a toy he wants or hit if a child took a toy away from him. He just is not capable of the same social skills as other kids. So that child is alway closely watched. There is always a teacher in the area he is, while other children lder toddlers mostly) might be left alone in a center. (The room is divided into 4 or 5 centers). I always heard the teacher calling to each other to make sure someone was shadowing this child before they left him to do something else (get lunch, use the bathroom, start a story on tape) . I don't remember DS ever getting hit or otherwise injured by this child in the year he was in the class. He was almost bitten once but another little girl. She was just going through a normal phase. They did the same shadowing thing with her for the rest of that day. DS took it in stride. He just told me that L is little and doesn't know any better when telling me about his day. The school did not identify who almost bit him but did tell me about the incident. The girl had his mouth on him but they stopped her before she could chomp. She really liked him, so I think she was trying to get his attention when he was ignoring her.

[EJH]

First, Jennifer, welcome! We cross posted. It's great that you have Grandma as your Nanny! This is a fabulous place to come for questions and concerns and vents...you name it!

Blonde Ah yes, my DD has conjunctivitis too. We noticed it last night, called the ped who said sure, if you have old drops, use them, and bring her to see me in the morning (DD has a history of ear infections, and for her the two have always gone hand in hand..thankfully her tubes are still in place and this was just an episode of conjunct!). Field trip to C.E.C., fun! :)

Our center closes in August for a couple of days for training. That's not fun.

Your BFF's place sounds fabulous. We just paid for nearly 3 weeks of her not being in daycare when we were away for the holidays. That hurts.

What prompted my question today was the conversation I had with our friends last night whose DS's daycare doesn't charge on days they aren't open. And they close for the week between Christmas and New Year's, that week is free of charge. We're considering moving DD there, but we need to do some research first, plus I think they are full right now. Have to figure out if it's worth getting on the waiting list.

[SlvSpring]

I'd like to join, even though I don't go back to work until the week of the 29th.

Name-Oona
Career- Preschool Teacher
Child-Jack born 10/19/06
Hours- 8am-4pm (but I am thinking about 8-3:30, we'll see how it goes)
Daycare- In-home day care provider

I am so, so sad about going back to work. Even though it has its challenges, I have loved being home with my son and wish we could afford for me to stay home, but we just can't. :( I am looking for some support as I embark on the challenge of being around children all day but not my son, pumping and everything else that comes with WOHM.

EJH- To your parent/teacher conference issue, speaking from experience, could your child's teacher call you and have the conference over the phone? That is what I do when parents can't leave work in the middle of the day (totally understandable) Maybe you could suggest that?

[dionysia]

QOTD: our daycare was open today. They are closed on Presidents' Day though, so I'm taking PTO from work.

Di

[Winter Biscuit]

QOTD -- Are your daycares closed today for MLK day?

Ours was open BUT they lost power due to the lovely ice storm we had last night so they ended up closing by 9am today. When we dropped DD off this morning, they said that if the power didn't come back on within 2 hours, they'd be sending all the kids home. We did take a chance and leave her there, but eventually got called to come back and pick her up. It wasn't a big deal because DH's company (a Fortune 100 - not any type of gov't) was closed today for MLK day so he was home anyway.

smiles33 - re: aggressiveness, you didn't mention how old your DD or the child in question is, but I do think that some behavior of that type is fairly normal, especially when the children don't yet have the verbal skills to express themselves. I personally think it is unrealistic to expel children for aggressiveness unless 1). the child is old enough to understand what they are doing and why it is wrong (yet continues to do it anyway) and 2). the teachers attempted to work with the parents to modify/address the behavior but for whatever reason their efforts were not working. FWIW, my DD was a biter from the time she was 9 months old until she was almost 2 years old, and our daycare worked very closely with us to modify her behavior until it was non-existent. It took a long time until the problem was "solved", but I am glad they worked with us, given that some biting is normal toddler behavior.

[smiles33]

Thanks, everyone! I talked to our "room mother" who told me that her own son is in a similar phase and that it's normal. I guess I'm just a bit paranoid since my DD is the youngest in the class and the only one not walking so she can't get away from the boy in question. And I don't think I mentioned that she has at least been stepped on (and cried for a while, according to the teacher, who only told me because I asked about scratches on her legs--which later turned out to be ezcema). Anyhow, I figure I just have to hope the teachers are watching out for DD and be thankful my mom drops by often so she is often holding DD (which means DD is out of harm's way).

And, to address the QOTD a bit late, my center takes all the same days off that my university does so they're closed on MLK and Presiden'ts Day. We pay the same monthly rate regardless of holidays, so that meant in December, when the university closes for 2 weeks, we paid almost $1400 for 3 days of daycare because DD was sick and we missed 1 week of school. I know, that's crazy!!!!

[{b}]

Ugh! When doe this get easier! Please don't say never!

DD is 16 weeks old. She has been a monster since Thursday. I think I got about 4-5 hours sleep, interrupted of course, last night and here I am at work barely holding my head up. She just won't sleep, and wants to be held all day. Which would be fine, but I have to take a shower and eat at some point and go to work!

Luckily, she is with either me, DH or my MIL. She went to MIL's today and my newly-PG SIL and BIL were there - good thing, because MIL was going to need all the help she could get today!

I've never been this exhausted in my life. I thought by now we'd be doing better, in more of a routine, and she'd be easier, somehow. Blah.

[IzzyJune2006]

{b}
Yes it does get easier. I too am a routine person. You find out soon enough that routine doesn't have the same meaning with a baby.
When I went back to work (11 weeks pp), I never thought I'd be able to keep it up. We're still not on a true routine, but I've settled into it and it works. The stress as eased and I know what to expect from the days, commute, and DD.
I have worked with daycare such that she is in a good state when I pick her up in the afternoon and that eases the evening routine.

Hang in there!

MLK Our daycare was closed.

[Amaye]

This is a new mom panic/vent so just bear with me.

DD usually stays home with our babysitter and I'm very used/happy with that. The babysitter loves her and knows her different moods/schedules. Well, the babysitter called in sick yesterday and today again so I had to take DD into our backup daycare at work which is Bright Horizons. I have been there and like it but today I'm having doubts. There are 3 toddlers there and they immediately latched on to DD. One seems to be coughing and one seems very aggressive - trying to grab DD or pushing toys into her. There is another child that is missing his mom and is crying so one of the teachers is with him which means the other has the 2 toddlers and DD. This is normal right?

Sorry - I don't know what to expect. I'm worried about her having a hard time sleeping with other kids, or refusing to sleep, etc. I logically know that she will be fine and the teachers are great but I still can't seem to concentrate. Ugh!

[Renrel]

- We pay for daycare/preschool each week regardless of whether it is open or we are out, but we do have a very reasonable fee so I don't feel that bad about it.

Amaye - That does sound pretty normal, for some days anyway. Kids in daycare do get sick and cough on each other. The center should be encouraging them to cover their mouths but it take time for them to learn this. Kids are often not aware of their own strenth and that can come across as aggressive, though that word has a more negative connotation then what you seem to be describing, since the child seems to want to "be nice" to your child. And it is very typical for the older kids to get very excited about the babies. When my son first transitioned into the toddler room the older girls kept trying to help him eat and drink, even though he knew how to do this for himself. He would give me this confused look. "Mommy, what are they doing?" I also saw older girls pulling out the back of the younger one's pants an announcing that they needed diaper changes. :rolleyes: And for short periods of time it will be normal to have a teacher giving extra attention to a new child or a child having a rough day. Though this should not go on for very long. If a child it preventing a teacher from attending to the other kids there is a problem. At some point a new kid has to be left to cry until they figure out that it does not get them extra attention and they decide to join the group. But it would probably have bothered to if you saw a child crying the whole time you are there and the teachers doing no more than telling him now and then that he was OK and suggesting he join in the playing. If a child is crying because they are sick and the teacher needs to keep holding them, then that child should be sent home. Anyway, that is what I have seen in the two centers I have use, one of which was a Bright Horizons. Not everyday will be like what you described, but days like that do happen.

[MichelleRenee]

I am here to join.

Name: Michelle
Career: Environmental Health and Safety Technician
Child: Tristan Michael - 10/27/06
Hours WOH: M- 8:30-5, T,W,R- 7:30-4:30 F- varies
Daycare: DH is home with him T and R, he goes to a sitter M and W and is with me Fridays.

I have some concerns with our weekly routine. It is a bit complicated and that concerns me.

My job has funny hours. I basically set my own hours between 7am and 5pm. 3 days a week I am out visiting clients and the other two days I am in my office. On Friday's I can bring Tristan in with me and sometimes I work from home.

On Monday's and Wednesday's he goes to a sitter who lives down the road from us and also watches his 7mo cousin. She is great with him but can only watch him 2 days a week.

On Tuesday's and Thursday's he has been home with DH up until now. DH will still be home most of the day but is starting back to school today and will need to leave before I get home. He will be dropping Tristan off at his mom's for the 1 hour between his leaving and my coming home. Luckily she lives right down the road.

Friday's have been a little hectic. My boss is the one who suggested bringing Tristan in and has had no problems with it but trying to work and care for him at the same time is HARD. Especially since I can't bring all of his stuff with me. I just feel so wiped out after a day like that. I love having him with me but I just feel that I need to make different arrangements for my Fridays. My concern is that he is going to too many places and has no structure during the day. I don't know how that will affect him.

I can continue to bring him to work and just do my best to deal with the "overload" or I can take him to my sister's house. I am just not sure what would be best for him. Am I not giving him enough structure?

[allyray231]

HI ladies. I am coming back into the thread since things are a bit difference with out child care now.

We moved and DH s currently home with DS. Once DH finds a job, DS will be in daycare full time. We found a place we light and plan to start him one day a week but I am freaking out.

1)there is a LONG waitlist and I am so worried if we put him in one day a week that he loves it and when he has to go full time, there is no space for him

2) he was in a nanny siutation before so the whole daycare thing is soo new to me! I feel so lost as to what to ask all of that stuff.

The staff has been nice but I hate that everytime I ask them if there will be a spot open they say they don't know!!

[jrsygirl]

allywe are currently going to be transitioning froma anny to daycare for our twins in a few months too... I would talk to th edaycare director. I would find it hard to believe they can't give ou an estimate on when they would have room. OUr center that we are on a waiting list for was able to give us a month based on when they thought kids would be moving up to next classes etc. Obviously if someone were to leave it would be sooner however we are in the tough position of needing two spots because we have twins. But still I would think they could give you a worst case scenario date.

[Amaye]

Renrel Thanks!!! I think I have calmed down a little bit. I called and they did get her to take a nap. I agree that the other kids did want to "be nice" to her and one of the teachers was there supervising so it should be ok.

I guess it's just something I will get used to over time. I'm sure it's good for her to see and play with other kids anyways. Thanks again for your reassuring words!

[jesseybell]

How often do you call daycare to check up on DC? DD is 5+ months and has been in daycare for 2 1/2 months and I'll admit, I've never ever called daycare. Granted, she hasn't been sick yet and hasn't had a night where she's been up all night teething. I think I may call in those situations. But I have a co-worker whose daughter is the same age as mine and I hear her calling every day.

I guess part of me doesn't want to take the teachers away from watching the kids, but also part of me, if my daughter is having a bad day (which luckily she hasn't one yet) I don't really want to know about it until I pick her up because there's nothing I can do about it and it will just make my day that much harder.

[mgrace]

I'm here, too.

Kind of related QOTD: do any of you know if the employees/teachers at your daycare get paid for holidays/days the daycare is closed?
The teachers do get paid for holidays/other closing days. We also get 2 weeks vacation without having to pay, which is nice.

[blondegirl]

How often do you call daycare to check up on DC? My kids started daycare when they were 8 months (DS) and 19 months (DD). WHen they first started, I called once a day, around lunchtime, to see how they were doing. I only called for the first 2 weeks. I called because DD would scream when I dropped her off, she had never been left with anyone other than family, and I needed to be reassured she stopped crying and was ok. When I called, I always spoke to the director, who most often already knew how DD and DS were doing, and if she didn't, she would go and talk to the teacher with me on the phone.

[twinnyme]

Welcome to the new members!

QOTD: How often do you call daycare to check up on DC?

I don't think I can catch up with all the posts from the last couple of days, but I can answer this question! :)

When DD began daycare at 3 months, I hardly ever called. I think it was because I didn't want to "bother" them - and also because they called me a few times that first week, and always for good reason, so I felt like I was informed. DD has been in daycare since then and I don't think I've ever called them to check in on her. I think I also don't want to interrupt their service to the children, and I am confident now in their care of her. I can't imagine calling every day!

The other QOTD of recent: Yes, our center was closed on Martin Luther King Jr. Day. But DD goes to the center only Tuesday through Thursday so it didn't affect us anyway. I don't know if the employees get paid. I hope so! (I think they do since it's on the list of holidays that the center is closed that we get each year - and I believe those are paid holidays.) Like mgrace, we also get two weeks vacation for free, as long as we give 2 weeks notice that DD will not be in (prorated since she's part-time so 6 days).

[ajlanden]

allyray231-Daycare waiting lists are the worst. It is hard to be parent and have that unknown, but after a BIG ordeal with DS and a waiting list at our current daycare, I have stepped back and looked at how hard the list must be to manage. First off, our daycare doesn't move kids up to the next room until they are developomentally ready. For example, the babies have to walk before they can go to the 1 year old room (another example is PTing). They don't always know when the kids will take that leap. Second, it is hard to know who will be leaving. Kids come and go at a moments notice. All that being said, they should be able to give you an estimate, but I understand why they are hesitant. That is what happened to us....they gave us an estimated date and there wasn't a slot by that time. Anyway, best of luck!! I LOVE the daycare enviroment!


How often do you call daycare to check up on DC?
With DD, I would go and see her at lunch every day until she had a regular nap that fell during lunch time. We are at a different daycare now that is further away, so I don't go see DS. I also don't call either. The staff is every good about calling me with questions or concerns throughout the day, so I don't feel it is neccesary. Now that I think about, I kinda feel bad for DS. I don't worry near as much with #2 as I did with #1. Ah, the great joys about being the second kid. :mad:

I am starting new job on Monday. No changes for the kids, expect hopefully a new house soon!

[RobynScott]

Hi ladies - I think I am going to start reading along if that's ok. I am not a mom yet (due in July) - but I know that I will be returning to work (hopefully next January - haven't discussed with work yet) - so I thought it would be good to follow along here!

We're already on the list for the daycare center we think we want for next January - though there's one more near us we may check out.

Hope it's ok if I just read along - I know it will be a while before I really have anything to 'add'.

- Robyn

[EJH]

QOTD -- Calling the daycare

Almost never, to be honest.

Welcome to all the new moms (and moms to be!).

Mommy guilt, a vent:

So today was one of those particularly rough mornings. DD had an awful night last night. She's got a pretty bad cold and did not sleep well...we're just having a hard time in general because DP started a new job last week and so constant nursing her back down is getting really tough. DD was up and down until about 2AM when I took her downstairs and turned on Elmo to try and distract her so DP could finally get some sleep. She snuggled with me on the couch while her cold medicine kicked in, then she got, of course, a second wind. :rolleyes: I turned off Elmo and just let her run around until finally she came to me and crashed. She slept on me for the rest of the night. She was up to nurse before DP left for work and then I put her back to bed and let her sleep until 8:30 or so. It's tough because I really don't have the time at work but I just felt so, so awful at the thought of having to get her day started at the usual 6:30.

She didn't want to go to daycare, she was so upset when I left. I take it back, she was happy to be there as long as I was staying with her. I just got a phone call from them asking if she had any motrin at school so I said yes, and please give it to her, apparently she's had her hands shoved in her mouth since she's been there (teeth). I told them to call me back in an hour if she hadn't calmed down. It's just not like her at all. My boss will FLIP if I have to leave, regardless of my ability to do my job from home. Hopefully she'll settle in, she was fine during her art project so maybe if they keep her busy enough she'll make it through the day. Days like this suck.

Erin :(

[LittleStar]

EJH-So sorry about your day (and last night). I hope that DD is feeling better and can make it through the day.

We are home - snow day!! H's school is closed, and although both of our office's are open, DH and I are working from home. I drove to my office early this morning to pick up some files to work on, but of course, here I am on cc :rolleyes:

QOTD: I only call to check on H if he's been sick. In the nearly 6 months he's been in daycare, that's probably only 4 or 5 calls.

Waiting list: I knew from friends that the waiting lists for the downtown church daycares were really long, so we got on early. I also called/emailed every few weeks to re-affirm our interest in this particular school (which we got into). I had already had H, and it was probably 1 month from me going back to work, that we found out we were for sure "in." Now that we're expecting #2, I need to see how that works (if we're guaranteed a spot, etc.), but I won't talk to the Director til next week after my 1st u/s.

[psusna]

EJH: I'm so sorry. I hope that the Motrin helps Arden and she can get into the groove and have the day fly by for her. Your work situation is so, so hard. You deserve major kudos for making it all work!

QOTD: I've called 3 times in 16 months, the most recent being on Monday. He had transitioned to a new room and was crying hysterically when I left. I called a few hours later just to make sure he calmed down and was doing ok.

Waiting lists: Ugh. We put DS on a wait list when I was 6 months pregnant knowing I was going to take 4 months leave when he was born so that is approx. 7 months in advance of when we needed care. I had to call in all sorts of favors, beg and plead and found out 3 weeks in advance that yes, he got a spot. It irritated me b/c when I took him on day one I was expecting a full infant room -- nope, there were two open slots. All of that drama was not needed. Wait lists are like a secret society or something :rolleyes:

[jesseybell]

We didn't have a waiting list at our center, but we are fairly far out in the burbs. If we had wanted daycare near where I work, I would have had to get on the list the day we got our BFP.
We started looking for daycare when I was 6 months pregnant and we were having trouble finding infant care - only 3 centers anywhere remotely convenient to our house. The center we chose did call us up and kind of forced us to make a decision ("it's the only spot left....right now there isn't another spot until February (we started in October)) but now I am wondering if that was a ploy to get us to sign up because there have been other spots filled - 4 kids started in her room the same week.

[EJH]

Well, it's nearly 2pm and they haven't called me back, so I'm guessing that the Motrin did its thing and she's feeling better and has calmed down (and is hopefully taking a nice, LONG, LONG, nap) (though not too long b/c I want her to sleep tonight!). ;)

Jessie - I think our center forced our hand to give them $$ quickly to save DD's spot. Believe me, I know they had space (at least once we got in there!!). It was a pretty new Center when DD started, and they weren't near capacity. Sigh.

[RobynScott]

We're on the waitlist but haven't had to pay yet - I think when they confirm our spot, we will have to pay.

When I called in early December, they told me they were on a waitlist for next September already! (they only take new kids January, June and Sept.) - I just barely knew I was pg! - but a lot of parents with kids in the school were pg with #2 - apparently the daycare is phonecall #2 after the BFP!

We went to check out the center at end of Dec and I need to call them in March and tell them I am still interested for January.

Erin - glad your DD seems to be doing ok!

[twinnyme]

apparently the daycare is phonecall #2 after the BFP!

This is my plan when we TTC #2 this summer. I really want my DD and any future child to be at the same place. We worked hard to choose this place and have been happy with it, and I've seen other families who have had to have one child there and one at another place. (I just found out recently that one family has one child there full-time and the other part-time there and part-time at another place.) You do what you have to do, and we'll see what the openings are like when we need it but I'm hoping we can have them both in the same place.

We are in the suburbs. When I was pregnant and due in January, I looked at places in October on my own, picked the top three, and then made appointments to go back to see them with DH. He kept dragging his feet, though, and made me VERY nervous that we were going to have trouble getting a spot. We went back in December and picked our top choice - the one we saw first that day - and drove back to it to confirm our spot - to start in April. They did tell us at the time that we needed to decide soon because spots were filling fast; but since they had given us only the soft sell in October, I actually did believe it. And it does seem to be one of the more popular ones that I can now tell, so it does fill up quickly - see above story! :D - so I forgave them the "harder" sell on the second visit.

I had to call in all sorts of favors, beg and plead and found out 3 weeks in advance that yes, he got a spot. It irritated me b/c when I took him on day one I was expecting a full infant room -- nope, there were two open slots. All of that drama was not needed. Wait lists are like a secret society or something.

Hmm, maybe I should rejoin my center's PTA if I'm going to have to politick (sp?) for a spot later on! :p

[Winter Biscuit]

How often do you call daycare to check up on DC?

I don't think DH or I have ever called to check on DD. During DD's first year at daycare, I would visit 2x a week to nurse her over my lunch hour, so I always got reports while I was there (if there was anything to tell me). Otherwise, I just saw no reason to call them and pull them away from the kids. We've been in 2 centers since I returned to work after having DD and both of them have been great about calling us if they felt there was something we would want to know about, that didn't necessarily warrant us coming to pick her up. That's been more than enough for me.

[allyray231]

Thanks guys. They said I will get a spot by Sept IF you sign up in Jan (next week) If we had to find him full time before then I guess we would just have to look around.

[Renrel]

Calling daycare. I only call if I had some concern, like DS seemed like he was getting sick when I dropped him off, and that is very rare. I probably also called a bit right after DS transistioned into each place and into new rooms, since
I worried more then.

Waitlist. I was on two waitlists for DS. Both times I signed up while pg though I did not intend to use daycare till DS was close to age 1. The first center I got into a week or so before I had to return to work. The second I got a call for shortly after DS turned 2. We moved him since the second center is less expensive, has more space, provides lunch and other good things. They give first priority to siblings, so long as they have met there requirement to have 50% federal employees (thus getting free rent and utitlities allowing the amazingly low price for quality daycare). We are TTC and it is likely that the director of daycare will know we are pg before our families do, just to be sure. I can take up to 26 wks of unpaid materity of leave (it use to be 52 weeks), so there is some time for us to get a space. If we can't get #2 in to the same center just when we need it I think we will try to arrange some kind of home care. My mom and/or MIL staying with us for a month or two, a nanny or au pair, something.

[twinnyme]

Question: Have any of you dealt with your DC taking his/her clothes, shoes, etc. off all the time at daycare?

We've dealt with the clothes issue for quite a while and DD basically wears only overalls (and sometimes dresses) to daycare now. I am looking for some kiddie suspenders, though, because I'm tired of her wearing the same thing all the time. Any suggestions?

But now she's been taking off her shoes. Yesterday her daily note said "Becca wore only her right shoe and sock all day yesterday because every time we put the left one back on she took it off. I just wanted you to be aware." Aware??? Well, what am I supposed to do about it?? Bind her feet or something? Ugh. (This morning, her primary teacher explained - without my asking - that she wanted me to be "aware" of it in case DD's feet were dirty or something.)

Anyway, this morning I told her that keeping her shoes and socks on all day today at school will help her teachers take care of her better and that if she keeps them on all day she'll get a sticker when she gets home. I also told her "we keep our shoes and socks on at school and take them off when we get home."

FWIW, I do think this is a good basic life skill for her to learn - undressing (and dressing) - but I see where the teachers are coming from. The clothes issue was more easily fixed, though; what do you do about SHOES? Any suggestions?

Also, a vent: Our daycare has had a breakout of lice - yes, lice! The first breakout was a couple of weeks ago and for two weeks we had to wash nap stuff and coats/hats daily; last week we didn't have to anymore. This week there was another breakout and now we have to do the daily washing again for two weeks. It's another kid - both breakouts were in the preschool room (though neither time have they said who it is, which is good), not DD's room, but the whole center has to take these precautions. Yuck - lice. I thought we wouldn't have to deal with this until school at least!

[Mrs.Chappy]

Hi, I don't think i've ever posted here. But i can use some guidance. I work three days a week, Wed, thurs and friday. We have a nanny come to our house those days from 7:30 to 5:30. In december she came to work sick. The next week DH got sick, then i did and DS has been sick since New Years Eve. He has had two courses of antibiotics for ear infections. We are sched. to go back for an ear check to the ped on Friday and if it didn't resolve then we will see a PEd ENT. Anyway, yesterday (when i was at work) my nanny 'accused' me of not telling her that my son had a cold. Her tone is always less than desired but i pass it off as just the way she is. Tues, he was fine, happy all day, we played, etc. He had fever yesterday, then last nite 101.1 and i gave motrin. This morning the nanny paged me and said the fever is 102.5..i think that's the highest he ever had. I advised her to give tylenol ev. 4 hrs\ and that i will call in an hr to see if the tylenol is working onthe fever. I guess in my long winded post, when do you go home to be with your child. I am not overly concerned, except for the fever b/c we are going to the ped tomorrow (DH is taking him as i've missed a lot of days or left early since the beginning of the year due to all these health issues). What do you guys do.. i know daycare is a different story.
Also, i am fuming that she came to work sick...so i have to adress that issue and i 'm a wimp. Plus,. we've asked her several times to get the flu shot and she hasn't. thanks and sorry for writing so much

[allyray231]

Chappy Don't be a wimp. She is an employee and that is the relationship you need to have. Usually if Aiden had a high fever or need to go to the Ped I came home. If it was a low grade fever and tylenol worked then I would let her use her judgement. My nanny was pretty good about telling me when she thought I had to come home.

You should really sit her down and talk to her about your concerns.

[Mrs.Chappy]

Thanks Ally, i will talk to her...i know it has to be done

[allyray231]

I know it is hard to confront people but I find that when there is tension it isn't good for anyone. If you really like her and want to keep her it is better to try and get things out ya know!

[Renrel]

twinnyme - Try hightop lace up toddler sneakers. They seem to be the hardest to get off from what I have heard other moms at daycare with the shoe removal issue say. At our daycare/preschool shoe wearing is not an option. Other than for going in the kiddy pool at swim time shoes must be worn at all times. However many times a child takes their shoes off the teacher will put them back on. With a comment about how shoes are not an option.

[twinnyme]

twinnyme - Try hightop lace up toddler sneakers. They seem to be the hardest to get off from what I have heard other moms at daycare with the shoe removal issue say. At our daycare/preschool shoe wearing is not an option. Other than for going in the kiddy pool at swim time shoes must be worn at all times. However many times a child takes their shoes off the teacher will put them back on. With a comment about how shoes are not an option.

Thanks, Renrel. I thought of hightops but I'm not sure if they'd be uncomfortable for her.... Does anyone know where I can get some? Right now I'm online searching for overalls and suspsenders. :rolleyes:

[Renrel]

If they are a bit uncomfortable maybe you can use them as a consquence. She can wear her other shoes until she takes them off, then the hightops go on?

Oh, and keep in mind with overalls and other one piece that when you decided to potty train you will probably stop using them. I have no idea when that will be for you, but just something to keep in mind as to how many to buy and how long to keep buying them.

[twinnyme]

If they are a bit uncomfortable maybe you can use them as a consquence. She can wear her other shoes until she takes them off, then the hightops go on?

Well, now, that's an excellent point, thanks! Good idea.

I think this is partly my fault. You know how "they" say to never take a baby out of a crib by just lifting her over the bar but to actually put it up and down - so the baby doesn't learn that they can climb over the bar (which, btw, I did all the time)? Well, maybe I taught DD how to take off her shoes by NOT unlacing them - I just usually pull them off :o and apparently now that is what she is doing with even the lace shoes. I never thought she'd be able to get those off!!! I haven't bought her velcro'd shoes in the last year because of this issue but I never expected it to happen with tied shoes! Oh, well.

ETA: I forgot to respond to this part of the post:

Oh, and keep in mind with overalls and other one piece that when you decided to potty train you will probably stop using them. I have no idea when that will be for you, but just something to keep in mind as to how many to buy and how long to keep buying them.

I didn't even think of that. I think we're still a few months away from full-fledged potty training so maybe I'll just buy one or two more to get us through the three days a week she's at daycare (she doesn't do this as much with me on Fridays through Mondays, or maybe I just don't care as much - again, I think it's a good thing for her to learn).

ETA: Mrs.Chappy - sorry you're dealing with that situation. I think it's pretty crazy of your nanny to "accuse" you of exposing her to a sick child when she did the same thing just a few weeks ago!! Anyway, I hope it all works out and that your son gets better soon. As for what our daycare does with fevers - I think (I'm not sure b/c for us it hasn't happened in a long time) they require us to pick up DD if her fever is 100.1 for more than an hour. (They check it once if she feels hot; if it's that high, they call us to give us a heads up, then they take it again in an hour - if it's still that high we have to pick up immediately. The child cannot return until they are fever-free, without medication, for 24 hours.)

[kindermom]

Does anyone know where I can get some?
Our DD wears Converse high tops and she definitely has a hard time getting them off. I found that Nordstroms has the best price and has them the most consistently in stock. I just bought a pair for $20 online, about $24 with shipping.

[EJH]

Melissa --What about Converse...maybe those would be comfy for her and solve the problem?

Mrs. Chappy - Well, daycare calls if a fever hits 100 and we have to go get her (or she has 3 bad dipes or is vomiting). And, just like Melissa said, she can't return until things have been back to normal for 24 hours.

It's part of the work/family balance challenge...for ex., DD has one heck of a cold. She feels awful. She's not been sleeping well, etc, but we've been sending her to daycare because we both really need to be in the office right now. I'd MUCH rather be home with her until she got over this thing but I just can't be. It's tough.

Hope you can work things out with your Nanny. Maybe you can say "here's $5, this should cover a flu shot at your doc's or local flu clinic, we need you to have it by X date" ?? Not sure if that would work...

Erin

[twinnyme]

Our DD wears Converse high tops and she definitely has a hard time getting them off. I found that Nordstroms has the best price and has them the most consistently in stock. I just bought a pair for $20 online, about $24 with shipping.

Thanks so much, kindermom! I just checked the site and they have pink and black available right now, for $20 each. I'll be buying a couple of pair today, I think. I appreciate the recommendation.

[kindermom]

I forgot to mention, when DD gets to pick between her regular Maryjane sneakers and her Converse high tops, she usually picks the high tops.They do run a wee bit small. She is running out of wiggle room her her size 5s but still has some room in her Target/Circo brand Mary Jane sneakers.

[twinnyme]

Melissa --What about Converse...maybe those would be comfy for her and solve the problem?

You are all on the same wavelength! But I do have another question for you, Erin (that I also asked in my LJ): Weren't there some kind of shoes that Arden wore a while back that you found she had a difficult time taking off? I recall them being moccasin-like with high tops but I think I also vaguely recall them being soft, slipper-like. Are they only for slipper-type use or are there harder sole varieties for playing? Do you remember what I'm talking about and what that brand was? Thanks!

Thanks again, kindermom.

[EJH]

Hi Melissa,

Haven't been to LJ yet today --- the shoes are Nawalis, but they're more slipper like than shoe like. I think that's the only kind they make. FABULOUS for around the house slippers for walkers, though Arden's slipper of choice these days is Elmo. She loves them and wears them over her footed pjs. It's a good look.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing converse will be your best bet. I wonder if New Balance has kids hightops....the factory outlet is in Lawrence (near Imajine That)...probably could get some good deals.

[twinnyme]

Hi Melissa,

Haven't been to LJ yet today --- the shoes are Nawalis, but they're more slipper like than shoe like. I think that's the only kind they make. FABULOUS for around the house slippers for walkers, though Arden's slipper of choice these days is Elmo. She loves them and wears them over her footed pjs. It's a good look.

Anyhoo, I'm guessing converse will be your best bet. I wonder if New Balance has kids hightops....the factory outlet is in Lawrence (near Imajine That)...probably could get some good deals.

Thanks, Erin. There's a NB outlet in Lawrence??? Hmm, have to check that out - maybe this weekend.

[EJH]

Yes m'am, there sure is. Take a right out of the Imajine That parking lot... drive down the street to the first light. The commuter rail station is on your left, take a right at that light and the building on your left (mill building) is the outlet. Parking lot is across the street from the building, so on your right after you make the right onto that street. Some FABULOUS prices. I got Arden 2 pairs of shoes for $5 each there a few weeks ago.

[Amaye]

Nanny vent coming up!

My nanny's husband called on Monday morning at 7am saying that she wasn't feeling well and could not make it in. He said that they were going to the doctor's. It was ok because I didn't have to go into work. I waited for a phone call (said they would call me) but nada. I finally called at 6pm and she said they didn't see a doc - maybe tuesday. Luckily for me, my job has emergency daycare downstairs so I brought DD there on Tuesday. It is a huge hassle cos I work in a different state and have to take the subway and another train to get her there. Called Nanny again on Tuesday (still no calls to let me know what's going on) and she said she would be in on Wed. Came in wed, said she wasn't feeling great but she was ok. She said she had pressure on head and around her eyes and couldn't sleep. I thought it was sinus pressure/headache so I bought some drugs for her. I asked about going to the doctor and she said she had an appt on Jan 29th? Said she would be in on tomorrow. Then 7.20am this morning (she is supposed to come in by 8am), I get a call from her husband saying she wasn't feeling well again. So I had to start calling to the backup daycare to see if they could take DD again, pack a bag, her bottles, etc. I didn't get to work till 10am.

At this point, I am really pissed off. I'm sorry she is sick however, if you are sick, go to the doctor!!! If you can't get out of bed, make it to work, you need to see a dr asap not in 2 weeks! If you can't get in before 2 weeks, go to the ER. I'm really not trying to be mean about this but this is not working for me. I can only use this emergency backup daycare for 20days out of the year and for no more than 3 days in a row.

Another thing that pisses me off is the lack of communication. If I don't call to see how things are going, I don't get a phone call. And I'm sorry, if you have to be in by 8am, calling me at 7.20am is not RIGHT!!! What am I supposed to do at that point??? UGH! :mad: They claimed they are going to the ER today but I bet you I'm not going to get a call unless I call again.

DH wants us to start looking for backup in our neighborhood. I'm not sure what to do.

[jrsygirl]

amayesorry you are having issues. We are having problems with our nanny too so I can relate. If I was you I would not only look for a back up but look for a new nanny! The being sick is one thing but the communication is vital. It would make me worry what else was not being communicated.
Good luck. I know its tough! i have twins and I work in the city so I cant imagine having to pack them up and bring them to the emergency daycare my company has.

[EJH]

Amaye --

I too think you should probably be looking for a new nanny. She's not proving herself to be reliable at all!!

[twinnyme]

Erin - thanks again! I'm going to check out that NB outlet soon!

Amaye - how long have you had your nanny? I don't have a nanny but my sister does and when she first started she was "sick" a lot - and canceled quite a bit. My sister got very nervous but then it stabilized and seems to have worked out much better and the nanny took (many) fewer sick days. They've had the same nanny now for almost two years. But I do agree with the other posters and your DH - you probably should look for backup just to be on the safe side.

[helen22]

Amaye, I agree you should look for a new nanny (unless you think this one is truly amazing) - she just sounds too unreliable.

as for looking for backup in the neighborhood - are there other nannies in your neighborhood? maybe you could arrange an emergency backup arrangement with those families? now that DD is older I have been thinking about trying to do that with someone in my bldg. I have emergency backup at work, but it has similar limitations to everyone else's.

[Winter Biscuit]

Question: Have any of you dealt with your DC taking his/her clothes, shoes, etc. off all the time at daycare?

We dealt with this for a while, but my DD was closer to age 3 when she first started. We (and her teachers) were able to solve this by tying her shoes into a double knot. That probably won't work for you, though, if she's simply yanking the shoes off without untying the laces.

Interesting enough, 2 weeks ago I took DD to get some new sneakers and she really wanted the velcro kind. I was leaning toward getting her a regular pair with laces, worried that if I got her a pair with velcro that it'd be easier for her to remove her shoes and she'd be taking her shoes off all the time. In the end, she got the velcro shoes and surprisingly, she hasn't tried to take them off once. Go figure. Hopefully Becca's phase of undressing herself and taking her shoes off will be short-lived!

Renrel makes a good point about potty training and the need to have easy-to-remove clothing to help the child master their independence.

[Amaye]

Thanks for your support/replies ladies.

We have had our nanny for about 3 months and before this incident, I would say that she has been great. She was supposed to only take care of DD but when DD is asleep, she cleans and tidies up the whole place - dusting, moping, bathrooms, etc. She also bakes once in a while and is very flexible with her. I have really been happy with her - this is the first time we have had an issue with her.

Well, she did call today and told me they went to the doctor's office and she had a blood test. She has to go back tomorrow so she will not be coming in again. She said she should be back to regular by Monday.

I decided to start looking for backup around our neighborhood. I'm going to have a discussion with her when she comes back on Monday and see how that goes. Based on what happens/on gut feeling, I will decide if I need to start looking for another nanny.

I really hate this. It took me over a month to find her and I was so happy to find her. I will see what happens.

[mmisabel]

Amaye - Uggh. I am so sorry. I hope it works out for you. What a pain!! I think being a WOHM is one of the most stressful jobs in the world and then throwing this into the mix just plain sucks. Good luck!!

[twinnyme]

We dealt with this for a while, but my DD was closer to age 3 when she first started. We (and her teachers) were able to solve this by tying her shoes into a double knot. That probably won't work for you, though, if she's simply yanking the shoes off without untying the laces.

Thanks, Winter Biscuit - for the suggestion, but you're right, that probably won't work, as she's just yanking them off (and we already tie them in double knots). :rolleyes:

I found some cute pink Converse high tops this weekend (at Sears; Marshalls also had some but not in her size) so this week at daycare will be the test! Thanks, everyone, for your suggestions (and kindermom - thanks for the tip that they run small; I was able to pick up the right size despite DD not being with me when I bought them.)

Amaye - I hope your discussion today with your nanny goes well. Good luck!

[allyray231]

this daycare thing SUCKS!! I am so spoiled having had a nanny.

We went to sign DS up for daycare today in the top daycare in the area. We registerd him to get a spot by sept( (we are going to need care before then but we wanted to get him a stop) I was 9 on the list.

Well we get in the room and she tells me the 2 year old spots are full and she only have M and W. The she looks at the sheet and says she is confused because there are spots open on the sheet but there is a sticky the director left that tells her there are only part time left. So she doesn't know.

And I had to pay a deposit and half the tuition for Sept. Plus be a member of the community center. So I pay over 400 bucks today.

I am going to have to find another daycare I am sure before Sept. I assume peopel have done this? Put their kids in one center until a spot opens up

sorry to be nuts I am new to this!!

[EJH]

Ally --

I think Renrel had her DS in one daycare while they waited for a spot to open in another one...

The start-up costs suck.

ETA --

Melissa -- Oh good, you found some. I was at Marshall's yesterday and saw some and was going to go post in your journal.

[allyray231]

Thanks. They called me back and said he is def in full time for Sept. So we will take that and worry about the in between for now!

[helen22]

allyray, curious - why are you switching from nanny to daycare? sorry if you posted previously and I missed it - I don't do a great job keeping up with this thread. we have a nanny now but I've been thinking about switching to daycare, so wanted to hear about your thinking. thanks!

[allyray231]

helen Hi there! We acutally moved from NYC to upstate NY so we left our nanny there (sniff sniff) I loved her a ton and it was hard to let her go. However, when we moved here we decided since my son is 19 months that he might benefit from a more school type atmosphere.

[Renrel]

We were in one place for a year before moving to our current placement, but it was not really the plan to have in one till the other openned up. I just signed up for two places while pg and the the first one had an openning just as I was returning to work. I forgot about the other. When the called up, just after DS turned 2, I asked them to remind me of what they had to offer. They were half the price, had better qualified teachers, provided lunch and snacks, had a better playground, more indoor space, so we moved. I had not realized when I signed up what a great deal they were. I had a friend who used them, they were convenient to work and it was only $25 or so to get on the waiting list. Thank goodness I did. It probabely saved us around $10,000 last year. But I think it is probably common to take an available spot while waiting to get into a prefered spot. If you can't afford a nanny or have other care arrangements what else can you do?

[allyray231]

Thanks Renrel!

[cr8zyforaf]

Here is a question:

how would you feel if you were in a center and your childs future teacher would also have her daughter in the room with her? For some reason, I am really bothered by this. I know this happens all the time at home daycares and probably isn't an issue - but I choose a center for many reasons - this being one of them. I think it would be hard for the child, because she is so young (15 months) to separate teacher from mommy and I know my daughter is at the age where if I touch another child, she goes nuts. I could be way off here, and if I am, I would like to be told so.

[sem426]

cr8zyforaf i would not be happy with that. we are in a center and i'm not sure what their policy is for situations like that. I do know that my cousin is a teacher at a different center in my area and she needed to switch rooms when her DD was ready to move into her class. They did not allow her to be her DD's teacher. I would hope that my center would do the same.

[cr8zyforaf]

My sister did the same thing with my neice..wouldn't teach her. Unfortunately, there is no policy. Another thing that is annoying - teacher got to choose to put daughter in her room, skipping Infant III so they could be together. It bothers me that she would do this, and bothers me even more that management would let her do this.

[twinnyme]

how would you feel if you were in a center and your childs future teacher would also have her daughter in the room with her?

I don't have the same exact situation, but the primary teacher DD has had since she started daycare at 3 months is the aunt of one of the boys who is also in the room. He is one month younger than DD and has always been in the same room essentially. At one point the center did some shifting of teachers and DD and this boy had a different teacher for about 2 months but except for that, for the last 21 months they have had this teacher in both the infant and then the toddler room. I do think the teacher may have finagled the situation a bit to get assigned to the toddler room shortly after her nephew moved there.

I love this teacher - Christine! She is wonderful and very fair to all the children. In some ways, I think it has worked to DD's advantage, because she has had consistency in her teacher since she started daycare. (Some of the assistants/floaters have changed, but she has always had the same primary teacher.) The little boy, Ben, is probably DD's closest "friend" at daycare, and his mother, Jill (the teacher's sister) is very nice. I probably chat with Christine and Jill for about 10 minutes each morning. Jill and I have gone through the same transitions with our children. Jill is now pregnant again and I have a feeling that Christine will somehow get transferred back to the infant's room around the time the baby is born in March - but that's okay because there is no chance that she would move to the next room that DD will be in; the teachers in those rooms are well-established, and DD likes them, and I think she'll enjoy being with them.

So, overall, I haven't had a problem with it - but then again, it's been the norm for me from the beginning, and also an aunt is also very different from a mother. Even if the mother attempts to be fair and impartial, it may be difficult for her to separate from the child. I know in our center one of the infant teachers never had her child in her room (there are two infant rooms), and another of the infant teachers had her toddler in the same room with DD (I don't think she was a provider there when her son was an infant). So I don't KNOW if it's a policy not to do it at our center, but it seems so.

Maybe others have more relevant experiences to share.

[jojobear]

Here is a question:

how would you feel if you were in a center and your childs future teacher would also have her daughter in the room with her?

Personally, I'm not sure I would be too happy either. Babies know who their moms are. So, for example, if their mom is busy with another baby and they felt clingy that day, what is the teacher/mom suppose to do?

But, my dd's daycare has a policy. The teacher can not be in the same room as their child. So, recently there was a teacher shift since the toddler room lost a teacher who was getting her master's full-time. My dd's afternoon lead teacher moved to the toddler room because the other teacher who would have been the candidate for lead teacher could not move (i.e. her daughter is in the toddler room). Then, the teacher that could not move, then became the afternoon lead teacher in the infant room. Things may change when her daughter leave the toddler room.

[EJH]

I didn't realize it until recently actually, but one of DD's teachers has her DD in the classroom with her. I am still not sure how I feel about it. I know that DD has become very attached to this teacher, so this says to me that her teacher doesn't spend her time focused solely on her own child ... but frankly, I'm surprised (knowing that there are 2 other toddler rooms) that they would put her in her mother's room, rather than one of the others.

So, even though I'm in the situation currently, I'm just not sure how I feel about it. This teacher is very good to Arden and understands and respects much more than any other teacher DD has had the situation with MIL being next door. Her automatic reaction, should something be wrong with DD, is to call myself or DP, NOT MIL. That was not the case when she was in infants. She clearly recognizes us as the parents and the decision makers, and she did that on her own, not having to be told "this is how it is." I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. Unless it seems to become an issue with her having her child in the class, I won't question it.

How's that for a roundabout answer?

Erin

[kiki61872]

guess i'm going against the grain here -

but i would like to think that the teacher would be professional enough to remain the 'teacher' even if her child was in the room.
i worked in child care for about 4-5 during college and shortly after school and there were a few times where a child would be in the same room as mom.
i never saw any of the mom's act differently.
on the rare occasion that there was an issue with mom and child - the other teacher would step in and take over the situtation.

as we all know - child care is not a high paying profession. therefore, many centers try to make up for the low wages with good benefits. many centers offer child care for a discounted rate to its employees.
why wouldnt the teacher take advantage of that? i know if i still worked in child care i would.

[cr8zyforaf]

I appreciate all of the feedback and I can see both sides of this. However, the teacher is known to only pay attention to her child and all the other teachers have pointed this out. Her child was supposed to be in another room and the teacher constantly pulls her out to take her to her room and that throws off the ratios of teachers to kids.

If she did act more professional, I don't think I would have quite the issue with it...just the other day, another dad was dropping off his daughter and she was very upset (having a hard time transitioning to tods..which is a whole different issue) and this teacher went to get her and rolled her eyes as if she was bothered and the dad saw it.

I am not sure what we can do - all the moms are pretty upset. The daycare management doesn't see an issue with this.

[wildcat]

I don't think it's professional to have teachers child in their own room. I know if I were a teacher in my DD's room, it would be really hard as a parent not to tend to her needs first.

Here's a really nerdy example;). I'm a CPA and perform financial statement audits of companies. As CPA's, we have independence standards that we have to adhear to (that I'm going to grossly oversimplify for illustration purposes). But I can't audit any company owned by family, I can't audit companies I own stock in, etc. To me, the same would apply to daycare. Why put the teacher in a place where she has to try to remain "independent" when she most clearly can not (nor should she have to, she's a mommy!). I don't think it's a matter of being "professional"...of course I would be "professional" if I were to audit my parents hypothetical company, but it would put me in a very real ethical delimma in making decisions. The better answer is just to not have to be put in that situation.

I think the "professional" thing for the daycare to do would be to move the child to another room or if there's only 1 room, shuffle teachers.

[EJH]

Wow, Kim, that's entirely different from our situation. Like I said, I didn't even know J's daughter was in Arden's class until just recently...I haven't seen her singling out her kid and giving her attention. If the situation were like what you posted, I'd be so angry and definitely trying to encourage the ED to make some changes. That's awful. I hope you parents can get together and that management is willing to listen to your concerns.

Erin

[twinnyme]

as we all know - child care is not a high paying profession. therefore, many centers try to make up for the low wages with good benefits. many centers offer child care for a discounted rate to its employees. why wouldnt the teacher take advantage of that? i know if i still worked in child care i would.

I agree with this 100%, kiki61872! But I also agree that the child should be placed in another room, if possible. We have two infant rooms at our center, so this hasn't really been an issue (as far as I know) because teachers can be iin the opposite room than their child. However, then there's only one room per age from then on, so this issue *could* come up as the children get older, and I'm not sure how I'd feel about it. I guess as long as the teacher can be professional, it would be okay (though as wildcat says, even when the teacher is attempting to be professional, I think it's better to just not be placed in that position at all) - but the situation in cr8zyforaf's center sounds very unprofessional.

cr8zyforaf- I might even suggest keeping a log of instances where you see this happening (maybe the mothers can all keep notes and you can compile the list via email or something?) and bring it to the management's attention, so they can see that it IS a problem.

wildcat - I totally get your example. My DH is a CPA! :D

[BethIrish]

Just bumping this up so I can read it through. My Maternity leave is ending next week - I go back to work on Wednesday. A few weeks ago I was excited and looking forward to returning to work. Now? Not so much. In fact, I've been weepy for the past 2 days just thinking about it :( I'm so sad to be leaving my little boy for 11 hours a day. I'll "only' be working from 7:30 to 4:30 each day, buy my commute is a little over an hour each way. DH will be doing the daycare (in home) drop off and I'll be doing the pick up. I'm a tax accountant, so I'm hoping that I will be able to juggle working and being a Mom.

[EJH]

Ah, Beth! I just posted to your LJ that you should come over here, LOL

These moms are full of great ideas. The biggest suggestion I have is organization and preparation the night before. Do you have a couple of sets of horns etc for pumping? Just make sure one is washed and packed along with all your other pumping stuff the night before, so in the morning you just have to throw in the ice packs.

It also helped us a lot to have Arden's bottles all ready to go the night before, and her bag packet.

Melissa (twinny) is so good at the prep thing...I think (correct me if I'm wrong, M), she even gets Becca's outfits all ready for the week. I strive to be that organized!!!

Enjoy this week with Patrick!!

Erin

[jh124]

I'm so sad to be leaving my little boy for 11 hours a day. I'll "only' be working from 7:30 to 4:30 each day, buy my commute is a little over an hour each way.

My commute is also over an hour each way. It sucks, no two ways about it. I felt horrible about it when he was an infant. Now that he's a toddler, I still have my share of guilt. I don't like it and am looking for jobs closer to home. However, I have made a certain amount of peace with it. I consider it two hours of "my time" to read or get caught up on work stuff. It's not ideal, but I do it.

Good luck with your return to work!

[allyray231]

Beth When I lived in NYC my commute was about an hour. It sucked because it takes time away from him BUT as he got older I enjoyed the quiet time a bit. Gave me a chance to read and listen to music. Now I only commute 20 minutes which is good but I do miss my quiet time :)

[mmisabel]

bethirish - good luck! Going back to work was really hard on me. I cried horribly the whole week before (and my whole first day:)) But the anticipation is worse than the actual act. You'll miss him, no bones about it. It DOES get easier, and I love driving home knowing I'm going to my boy. I get giddy with excitement!!! :)

[twinnyme]

BethIrish - good luck going back! My DH is a CPA (not tax, but he has mandatory Saturdays at his mid-size firm during tax season - for everyone) so I know what you're heading into. I'm sure you can do it! It's tough but doable. And it does get easier.

Erin - thanks for the compliment! :D I actually no longer get DD's outfits ready for the whole week all at once anymore, BUT you are right that I did that for a LONG LONG time. Now it's pretty easy since she has to wear overalls all the time to daycare so she doesn't take off her clothes and since she has 3 pairs of overalls and goes to daycare 3 days a week, we're pretty much set. :) The funniest thing, though? Becca was playing in her closet yesterday and turned around the day-of-the-week organizer and I realized (almost two years after I got it :p) that it has pockets on two of the sides, presumably for shoes and other things you need for the day. So I think it'll come in handy during school days, too! Here's a picture of what it looks like (This one's from Target but you can find them a lot of places - it's just the first one that came up on a Google search....):

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0006ZPBPI.16._SCLZZZZZZZ_SS260_.jpg

Update on Becca's shoe issues: I found Converse shoes at Sears and Marshall's and Becca wore them to daycare all last week. She didn't once try to take off her shoes!